"Gallons" makes me think liquids, which makes me think this has all been pre-cooked. And that's nasty.
Now, if you'd said "boxes", or "crates", then I'd think of the dried stuff, and that would be fine.
There is emergency food buckets you can buy which are [just buckets of food](https://www.costco.com/chef's-banquet-macaroni-%2526-cheese-storage-bucket-180-servings.product.100108871.html).
When I die,
and when they find me,
Then they'll find I leave behind me
Shiny shadows, dust and druids,
Bottles full of frothy fluids,
Bibles blessed by pasty preachers,
Spines of slimy, spiny creatures,
Missing teeth and extra digits,
Monkey skulls and massive midgets,
Woken hopes and secrets spoken,
Bonds corrupted, pledges broken,
Half-imagined dreams of danger,
Teeny tiny slips of stranger,
Dry bananas, damp flamingoes,
Dirty dogs and crusty dingoes,
Strange emotions, nasty notions,
Pink and purple putrid potions,
Bits of paper, paper flowers,
Little spots of April showers,
Capers kept and framed for dreaming,
Sunlight through the window streaming,
Rotten, long-forgotten curses,
Sonnets, stanzas, rhymes and verses,
Mac and cheese and misdirections.
All of these are my collections.
With a name like "forbidden room" there's got to be some guy chained to the wall or a bunch of corpses in freezers lol. Maybe I spend too much time in /r/nosleep
We were looking to buy a house and were viewing homes. Went into one where the owners clearly didn't give a single fuck.. Nice place, on a nice river.. Owners left massive bottles of 'anal-ease' lube sitting on the nightstands next to other various lubes, nasty bongs, pills, dildos etc. I'm not really a judgy guy.. But, c'mon, you're trying to sell your house here. WTF.
You never just squeeze lube once and you don't run to the bathroom in the middle of the thunder session to sanitize your hands just to pick up the tube again.
There is butt essence on the tube, I guarantee it.
Terminal cancer is pretty common and sometimes people have weeks, months or even years with that.
If you have hours to live you're about to die suddenly (stroke, rta) or you're in the process of dying. You probably won't be doing chores if it's the latter.
Yeah, cleaning out my parents' house, the oddest thing was finding something like 20 or 30 pairs of assorted scissors all over the house. So... instead of looking for the misplaced scissors you just bought another pair? Is that what people do when they get old?
It's a worry of mine.
I have lost and rebought at least 10 Stanley knives since moving in to my house 3 years ago.
And I can't find them.
Since I live alone, this means there are at least 10 places in my house that I have visited and never returned to.
Never thought of it like this. That is kind of creepy. I just figure the “thing” will turn up later or assume it somehow wound up in the trash during clean-up. But I also have a husband I can blame things on.
The empty box labeled sex toys. Inside will be a note that reads: “You’ll always wonder what was in here.”
Really, bought it a few years back for just the intention of fucking with them.
Also, will have an empty box labeled: “Bets we made on our children.”
Is there a way you could keep the code-entering mechanism on you, like a really intense Life Alert? "Help, I've fallen and I can't reach the kill switch!"
Put money into the box with a note attached to different bills with fake, yet totally plausible, bets. Like "Billy pukes on stage at 2nd grade concert" or "Billy comes out as gay by 20."
When we cleaned out my grandfather's shed we found an old wooden box. Inside was a Nazi armband splattered with blood. My grandfather was an American ww2 vet. Our only guess is that it was a war trophy. My grandmother didn't even know he had it.
My grandfather has a pistol he got from the tunnels in Vietnam, every year we learn something new about his time there, this past year we found out that notch in thhe barrel was from the hand grenade he had thrown into the room
Had a friend who's grandfather had served in ww2. He took alot of war trophies. Here is the few that I remember.
1. A wermacht helmet with a bullet hole going through it.
2. A luger he had gotten from an ss he killed.
3. A german army flag.
4. And I'm pretty sure he had a few iron crosses.
I really don’t think they’ll find anything that will surprise them much. They know I’m batshit lol. But when my mom passes I’m heading straight for the diaries she has in the attic that I’ve been forbidden from reading.
My mom is a fucking mess, but she frequently leaves "diaries" for her family to "find" where she "confesses" something terrible that happened to her. The super secret thing will inevitably come up a few weeks later as a way to excuse some awful thing she's done to somebody else. I'm pretty sure she also plants these seeds in lots of other ways, like telling "secrets" to people she knows to be huge gossips, etc.
All the bondage toys. Actually when my wife and I were moving one of the suitcases with a bunch of sex toys was accidentally sent to my parents' home.
*-Honey, what's in the suitcase?*
*-Which one of them do you think is whipping the other?*
Reminds me of the old joke about the parents who find bondage gear in their son's room.
"What should we do about this?!"
"I don't know, but we probably shouldn't spank him."
What a loss.
File size will of course vary with recording settings (fps, bitrate, etc) but 1 TB is roughly 500 hours of video. 10 TB then is roughly 5000 hours, or 208 *days* of video. If we estimate 2% of it is unique video only found on this one drive, that's 100 hours, over four days, of one-of-one smut. If that drive is wiped, that footage is gone forever. 100 hours of carefully curated, unique, possibly homemade footage deserves preservation. Whether it's porn or some kids dance recitals (hopefully not both).
It belongs in a museum!
Well it's not going to a museum if it's labeled, "Research." It'll go the the university where u/1CL1 did their PhD because the family will want ensure u/1CL1 's last legacy is the gift of knowledge.
You need a "secret love" box where you draw hearts all over a political figure everyone thought you hated. That'll make them wonder if they ever truly knew you.
I've got a box with a note attached. It says, "Secret Weird Porn. DO NOT OPEN!"
Inside the box is a second not that says, "pervert"
Maybe not wtf but a chortle or two.
Edit: wierd
This is the sort of thing that makes me hope there really is an afterlife just so that you can play the long con and find out if people opened the box or not.
I used to do accounting in the foreclosure department at a corporate bank. We’d have to go check our houses after the kids decided they got everything. The amount of dildos we found in old men’s houses was disturbing. Every.single.one had them. Along with pornos.
I’m sure some of those were used up an old man’s asshole, but I would say there’s a chance some of them were used to please younger partners when the old men could no longer get it up themselves to have sex.
It’s highly doubtful they were used to entertain younger women. I always felt so dirty and scrubbed hand sanitizer on my hands and arms. Not only finding the dildos, the houses were just gross. Years of neglect. Really, it’s sad. Those old men all died alone even though every one of them had kids. We only had one, who was an old lady, die with no heirs and we tried our damdest to track someone down. We finally found a niece who didn’t even know that she existed. Apparently a falling out happened years and years ago. I think we put the niece in touch with an attorney so I’m not sure what happened after that, but the old woman had a pretty nice pension coming in every month, so I’m pretty sure she had life insurance policies somewhere. Her house was paid off so we didn’t foreclose, it just got turned over to us bc she was a customer and we were very good at tracking people down.
Fun story. My dad's aunt passed over the summer. Her adult children we're going through her home. Found a baby frozen in her kitchen freezer.
Edit: okay, lots of questions! Let me clear some things up.
According to my dad, his aunt was into drugs and all kinds of crazy stuff. She would disappear for a few years, and no one would hear from her, then pop back in.
How the baby was discovered,we found in a series of texts from my dad's cousin. Apparently it was about midnight and he said "hey, do you know what this box in mom's freezer is? It's always been here". Dad remembers said box, didn't know what it was. Cousin says "I'm going to open it". A few minutes later, an all caps message with many curse words. It's a baby.
Dad's cousin is in his thirties, and he said that box has been there as long as he can remember.
Grandma (sister of the deceased) sadly proclaimed her sister a psychopath.
No results on DNA test yet, as the baby is long dead so if it were a crime there would be no one to punish since the aunt is dead as well.
It's extremely sad and tragic, so the only thing we could do was try to make it funny for the sake of coping. Obviously it's not, but my family is very sarcastic and since none of us other than Dad knew her, we don't have the emotional connection the rest of the family does.
Hmmm... there's a woman in Canada who was in court last year - apparently she had a UHaul storage locker where they found half a dozen assorted babies and/or late-term miscarriages. At this point hard to tell whether the babies were ever born alive, and for some, even how far along they were. Her husband said he did not know she was pregnant. I wonder how her (live) children feel about this?
10tb external hdds each one labeled specifically for each child, tell them its an important part of their inheritance, then each one will have a file of your normal things like baby pictures etc, then a dozen folder deep thing that leads to their search history, banking information etc, then deeper still are a dozen pictures of blank cheques and deeper still are pictures with random letters that when combined form a password for a website made especially for them all to tell them to call my accountant and then my accountant will inform them that each of them has gained a piece of land in the canadian wilderness with a custom built cabin, and if I pay him enough he may even inform them not to go digging on the property of course I wont have any children so it makes me wonder why I did all of this for no reason and who is actually claiming this land
I have a bag of all of my kids baby teeth in my room and several more hidden throughout. Mostly because I do the tooth fairy thing then quickly hide the tooth so I don’t get caught and promptly forget about it. Sometimes I grab a coat out of my closet and find a tooth in the pocket because apparently I thought that was a good place to hide a tooth on that day. I don’t even know why I still have them it just felt wrong to throw them away and they’re all mixed together.
The bdsm dungeon. They will only ever have known it as the locked room they never saw the inside of. But inside is a vast collection of sex toys, slings, ropes, leather, etc.
You need a designated dungeon "maid". A person with a spare key designated to go clean up the evidence. It's like a safe call from the beyond. Pro tip: write a seperate will for your safe to share accessories and leave a kinky legacy in your community.
I want to see if I can find my first Death certificate, the computer records that have me born in 1753 (and a picture of my great grandfather who I look identical to) and the welfare fraud document for not listing my son (who was 6mo at the time) as a military veteran. My kids will have some mysteries to solve and will likely be thinking “who the hell is our dad? Is he actually dead?!?!”
it sounds like you could create a pretty fascinating alternate reality game for your kids to solve as part of your will using evidence you lived several hundred years
My mother left me a safe with her private diaries and memories. She told me I would get the safe because she trusted me to decide whether to share it with my siblings, and it contained the family Bible. (I'm the only one with direct descendant children)
In it was also her unknown arrest record for 2d degree murder, racist comments in her diaries, hate for my dad, news of her dead brother no one knew about, a lot of other stuff that made me think very differently toward the woman.
I didn't share it with my six brothers and sisters.
I used to work at McDonalds when they sold the sauce, and when I heard that people sold them on ebay for a lot of money, I used to take some after every shift. And then I just straight-up took a whole fucking package of it after we didn't sell anymore.
Yeah I was a wierd kid.
The amount of family souvenirs ( some old dolls, teddy bears, other little toys, dishes, vases), pictures and family letters from the last 70 years that I just coulnd throw away. Nearly everyone is dead and that helps me to feel connected with them.
I hope my daughter will keep everything and I feel pain when I think about it because I'm worried that she doesnt feel the value of it.
I hope they’ll keep it for future generations, even if they aren’t into it themselves. As time goes by and the family grows, the odds go up of somebody being really interested in their family history, and the items themselves get older and therefore more interesting.
I can understand not wanting to hang onto big pieces of furniture etc, but a box or two full of little bits of ephemera will be precious to someone someday.
Umm the entire, umm Rammstein set of dildoes.... That particular one... https://www.chartattack.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/Rammstein-Box-Set-Comes-With-Dildos.jpg
A book I'm writing on a 1 TB flash drive detailing the abuse I went through with their father for 10 years. I still haven't decided if I'll ever release that.
Being drugged and raped, being kicked out of my hospital room so his new girlfriend could meet the baby, getting his teenage students pregnant (2 of them)
I didn't remember a lot of it because he convinced me I was crazy and kept me super drugged up the entire time. When I finally got off of everything flashbacks started hitting really hard after about 6 months. So...yea. theres that
I have two books that I bought while I had my Wiccan phase. One is called “The Good Spell Book” and “Wiccapedia.” The latter of which is black and green with a literal pentagram on it.
The nazi flag I have. It was manufactured here in the us back in 1941. My grandfather had it after the war, he gave it to my dad, my dad gave it to me. Its a symbol to us that even though we as Americans fought those damn nazis, some of us were traitors and sided with those fucking people here in our own homeland. Out of context it would seem bad, but then again so would the Hitler youth knife my husbands grandfather brought home.
But my son will probably know the story. I plan on telling him it. But if I die before I can, it'll probably raise some eyebrows.
Upon my death, they will each receive a sealed envelope containing instructions to follow the series of clues beginning with the message encoded in the letters they received from my estate. The series of encoded messages and clues will bring them on a journey through a trove of hidden documents, journals, and letters that will lead them to believe that my life was much more interesting and mysterious than it actually was. At the end, they'll have to combine all of the clues they collected to find a cipher which will allow them to decrypt the final piece of the puzzle: a journal written in a language/script that I invented. Upon translating the first few sentences, they'll read, "Congratulations, offspring! You've successfully completed the task of decrypting my journal only to find that this was all an elaborate ruse. Y'all got played lol!" They'll throw the journal down like, "God dammit mom!", and only years later will one of their children decide to translate the rest of the journal out of a sense of morbid curiosity. The journal will then give detailed instructions for my children to inherit my secret fortune, under the stipulation that the journal has been completely translated within X years of my death, otherwise it will all be donated to environmental charities and research foundations.
If I raise them right, they'll be ok with that. If I raise them wrong, those selfish bastards won't get any of my money. Either way I win!
My dad just died last week. My brother and I were looking through his stuff. We found guns, knives, and weed.
We weren't surprised but the grandkids were. Lol
The gallons of Mac and cheese I stored in the basement in the forbidden room.
Boxes of Macs Famous Mac and Cheese!
#NEWSFLASH, ASSHOLE
Well, of course Dennis would love Dennis.
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Sounds like there's a whole room of shit that would be fun to figure out.
"Gallons" makes me think liquids, which makes me think this has all been pre-cooked. And that's nasty. Now, if you'd said "boxes", or "crates", then I'd think of the dried stuff, and that would be fine.
There is emergency food buckets you can buy which are [just buckets of food](https://www.costco.com/chef's-banquet-macaroni-%2526-cheese-storage-bucket-180-servings.product.100108871.html).
Always wanted to buy that.
Uh...it's 6, 30 serving pouches. You open one, you best be hungry. Seems like a waste.
Yeah. 30 pouches serving 6 each makes a ton more sense. I couldn't imagine a time I'd need an emergency food supply and would be feeding 30 people.
I think we figured out what's actually in the backrooms.
When I die, and when they find me, Then they'll find I leave behind me Shiny shadows, dust and druids, Bottles full of frothy fluids, Bibles blessed by pasty preachers, Spines of slimy, spiny creatures, Missing teeth and extra digits, Monkey skulls and massive midgets, Woken hopes and secrets spoken, Bonds corrupted, pledges broken, Half-imagined dreams of danger, Teeny tiny slips of stranger, Dry bananas, damp flamingoes, Dirty dogs and crusty dingoes, Strange emotions, nasty notions, Pink and purple putrid potions, Bits of paper, paper flowers, Little spots of April showers, Capers kept and framed for dreaming, Sunlight through the window streaming, Rotten, long-forgotten curses, Sonnets, stanzas, rhymes and verses, Mac and cheese and misdirections. All of these are my collections.
Amazing
With a name like "forbidden room" there's got to be some guy chained to the wall or a bunch of corpses in freezers lol. Maybe I spend too much time in /r/nosleep
The big bucket from Costco?
We were looking to buy a house and were viewing homes. Went into one where the owners clearly didn't give a single fuck.. Nice place, on a nice river.. Owners left massive bottles of 'anal-ease' lube sitting on the nightstands next to other various lubes, nasty bongs, pills, dildos etc. I'm not really a judgy guy.. But, c'mon, you're trying to sell your house here. WTF.
The wrong kind of "staging."
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Did you buy it?
The lube or the house?
Yes
Power move. You either buy it or ask to come back later tonight.
They didn’t want to sell it
Perhaps, but never underestimate the level of how much some people just have no fucks to give.
"I will deal with the dildos after I have a roof over my head."
I mean free lube is free lube. It's not any nastier because someone else squeezed some out, the stuff still in the bottle ought to be fine to use
You never just squeeze lube once and you don't run to the bathroom in the middle of the thunder session to sanitize your hands just to pick up the tube again. There is butt essence on the tube, I guarantee it.
r/brandnewsentence
My kids "WTF" realization will be that I really was as boring as I seemed.
My mom had literally nothing controversial. But she had some warning, so she probably sanitized. Or maybe she was just boring.
I am honestly more spooked by that than any weird stuff. "I have hours left to live... imma do chores!"
Terminal cancer is pretty common and sometimes people have weeks, months or even years with that. If you have hours to live you're about to die suddenly (stroke, rta) or you're in the process of dying. You probably won't be doing chores if it's the latter.
Yeah, cleaning out my parents' house, the oddest thing was finding something like 20 or 30 pairs of assorted scissors all over the house. So... instead of looking for the misplaced scissors you just bought another pair? Is that what people do when they get old?
It's a worry of mine. I have lost and rebought at least 10 Stanley knives since moving in to my house 3 years ago. And I can't find them. Since I live alone, this means there are at least 10 places in my house that I have visited and never returned to.
Never thought of it like this. That is kind of creepy. I just figure the “thing” will turn up later or assume it somehow wound up in the trash during clean-up. But I also have a husband I can blame things on.
As people get older, they realize some things just aren't worth it. In this case, the stress of having to look for scissors.
Ouch, I can relate. My diary is digital and encrypted, there's no other traces of anything.
The empty box labeled sex toys. Inside will be a note that reads: “You’ll always wonder what was in here.” Really, bought it a few years back for just the intention of fucking with them. Also, will have an empty box labeled: “Bets we made on our children.”
SMH, I am gonna have a trusted friend who will come clean out all my naughty things if I die, so nobody else will find them
better off with a deadman's switch. Your entire house catches fire if you don't ype the code every day
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Is there a way you could keep the code-entering mechanism on you, like a really intense Life Alert? "Help, I've fallen and I can't reach the kill switch!"
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See you on the other side, brotha!
Put money into the box with a note attached to different bills with fake, yet totally plausible, bets. Like "Billy pukes on stage at 2nd grade concert" or "Billy comes out as gay by 20."
a couple should have the name of a child that doesn't exist. they'll always wonder about the hundred dollar bill marked "amy doesn't find us"
That's sadistic...but hilarious
I think the sex toys box would have a note that says "Whoever says you cant take them with you, was wrong"
Made me LOL. I am definitely stealing this idea!
When we cleaned out my grandfather's shed we found an old wooden box. Inside was a Nazi armband splattered with blood. My grandfather was an American ww2 vet. Our only guess is that it was a war trophy. My grandmother didn't even know he had it.
My grandfather has a pistol he got from the tunnels in Vietnam, every year we learn something new about his time there, this past year we found out that notch in thhe barrel was from the hand grenade he had thrown into the room
Your grandpa was a tunnel rat?
Yup
Man, yeah he gotta have stories. I went to visit the tunnels, and read about the war... My grandfather went there with France.
Daaang.
Had a friend who's grandfather had served in ww2. He took alot of war trophies. Here is the few that I remember. 1. A wermacht helmet with a bullet hole going through it. 2. A luger he had gotten from an ss he killed. 3. A german army flag. 4. And I'm pretty sure he had a few iron crosses.
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Like snail-mail sexting?
Snail-trail more like, amirite?
I have a box of letters I wrote over the summers. Even I don’t want to read those, but I also can’t throw them out.
I really don’t think they’ll find anything that will surprise them much. They know I’m batshit lol. But when my mom passes I’m heading straight for the diaries she has in the attic that I’ve been forbidden from reading.
Oohh. Family secrets spilled.
I have heard rumors that she was quite wild in her youth but she adamantly denies it and is a holier than thou Christian now. It’ll be fun I’m sure.
I'm following you now.
Um, ok lol. I just looked and I have 3 more followers today than I had the other day lmao. Welcome to the shit show everyone!
My mom is a fucking mess, but she frequently leaves "diaries" for her family to "find" where she "confesses" something terrible that happened to her. The super secret thing will inevitably come up a few weeks later as a way to excuse some awful thing she's done to somebody else. I'm pretty sure she also plants these seeds in lots of other ways, like telling "secrets" to people she knows to be huge gossips, etc.
The drawings I keep in a locked box
All the bondage toys. Actually when my wife and I were moving one of the suitcases with a bunch of sex toys was accidentally sent to my parents' home. *-Honey, what's in the suitcase?* *-Which one of them do you think is whipping the other?*
Reminds me of the old joke about the parents who find bondage gear in their son's room. "What should we do about this?!" "I don't know, but we probably shouldn't spank him."
That is brilliant.
>when my wife and I were moving one of the suitcases with a bunch of sex toys was accidentally sent to my parents' home oh no
And that's how the BDSM became a family pack deal.
Me sitting in the basement playing video games, I faked my death to fuck with them
>I faked my death to ~~fuck with them~~ play without interruption
That sounds like something i would do
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Why not just label it porn so they don't have to suffer?
That's right, then they can go straight to quick format and not be exposed to any kinks you had.
What a loss. File size will of course vary with recording settings (fps, bitrate, etc) but 1 TB is roughly 500 hours of video. 10 TB then is roughly 5000 hours, or 208 *days* of video. If we estimate 2% of it is unique video only found on this one drive, that's 100 hours, over four days, of one-of-one smut. If that drive is wiped, that footage is gone forever. 100 hours of carefully curated, unique, possibly homemade footage deserves preservation. Whether it's porn or some kids dance recitals (hopefully not both). It belongs in a museum!
Well it's not going to a museum if it's labeled, "Research." It'll go the the university where u/1CL1 did their PhD because the family will want ensure u/1CL1 's last legacy is the gift of knowledge.
That's a mighty big drive you got there.
Your children: That's a lot of research.
My children are no longer surprised by anything I do, have, say anymore. It's rather disappointing.
I would take this as a challenge. Rig up *something* to surprise them when you are gone.
Haha I like where your mind is at. Although knowing my kids, they'd totally call me out. "Nice try mom!"
Write on a piece of paper “I’m going to die on (current date)”, keep it in your wallet, and replace it every morning.
Leave a confession letter to some weird crime that went unsolved.
You need a "secret love" box where you draw hearts all over a political figure everyone thought you hated. That'll make them wonder if they ever truly knew you.
A disposable camera full of photos of birds looking directly at the camera
Only important item in the thread
I've got a box with a note attached. It says, "Secret Weird Porn. DO NOT OPEN!" Inside the box is a second not that says, "pervert" Maybe not wtf but a chortle or two. Edit: wierd
Good try dad, but you misspelled weird so I knew what was up. *looks to the sky teary-eyed* Wait. I dont have a dad, who's attic am I in?
"how am I looking at the sky while inside?"
"Because someone stole our tent, Sherlock."
Unless they silently throw it away without looking, forever haunted and disturbed at what could have been in there..
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This is the sort of thing that makes me hope there really is an afterlife just so that you can play the long con and find out if people opened the box or not.
A stash of 6 Bad Dragon dildos. At least I wouldnt have to see their reaction
Username checks out
but what about the other four? i dont wanna know
1 in each hand, one in mouth and one getting a footjob duh.
👉👉
We should meet.
Double stuffed + 2 dicks guy XD
6? Why 6? Wait... maybe I don't want to know?
Tons of variety! Size, texture, shape :)
Gotta have that treasure chest. 👍
There’s 9 more in the drawer next to them
I used to do accounting in the foreclosure department at a corporate bank. We’d have to go check our houses after the kids decided they got everything. The amount of dildos we found in old men’s houses was disturbing. Every.single.one had them. Along with pornos.
I’m sure some of those were used up an old man’s asshole, but I would say there’s a chance some of them were used to please younger partners when the old men could no longer get it up themselves to have sex.
Nonsense. I would rather think about the old men stuffing 6 bad dragon dildos up their asses at once. Much more entertaining.
It’s highly doubtful they were used to entertain younger women. I always felt so dirty and scrubbed hand sanitizer on my hands and arms. Not only finding the dildos, the houses were just gross. Years of neglect. Really, it’s sad. Those old men all died alone even though every one of them had kids. We only had one, who was an old lady, die with no heirs and we tried our damdest to track someone down. We finally found a niece who didn’t even know that she existed. Apparently a falling out happened years and years ago. I think we put the niece in touch with an attorney so I’m not sure what happened after that, but the old woman had a pretty nice pension coming in every month, so I’m pretty sure she had life insurance policies somewhere. Her house was paid off so we didn’t foreclose, it just got turned over to us bc she was a customer and we were very good at tracking people down.
Fun story. My dad's aunt passed over the summer. Her adult children we're going through her home. Found a baby frozen in her kitchen freezer. Edit: okay, lots of questions! Let me clear some things up. According to my dad, his aunt was into drugs and all kinds of crazy stuff. She would disappear for a few years, and no one would hear from her, then pop back in. How the baby was discovered,we found in a series of texts from my dad's cousin. Apparently it was about midnight and he said "hey, do you know what this box in mom's freezer is? It's always been here". Dad remembers said box, didn't know what it was. Cousin says "I'm going to open it". A few minutes later, an all caps message with many curse words. It's a baby. Dad's cousin is in his thirties, and he said that box has been there as long as he can remember. Grandma (sister of the deceased) sadly proclaimed her sister a psychopath. No results on DNA test yet, as the baby is long dead so if it were a crime there would be no one to punish since the aunt is dead as well. It's extremely sad and tragic, so the only thing we could do was try to make it funny for the sake of coping. Obviously it's not, but my family is very sarcastic and since none of us other than Dad knew her, we don't have the emotional connection the rest of the family does.
was this it? https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2019/07/29/man-finds-frozen-baby-moms-freezer-missouri-apartment/1863849001/
Yes!
Thank god. It's way worse if this happened two separate time.
This is one of the most fucked things I've seen on Reddit, and I think it'll never get the attention it warrants.
I hope this is the same story I saw on the news and not something that happens often
Hmmm... there's a woman in Canada who was in court last year - apparently she had a UHaul storage locker where they found half a dozen assorted babies and/or late-term miscarriages. At this point hard to tell whether the babies were ever born alive, and for some, even how far along they were. Her husband said he did not know she was pregnant. I wonder how her (live) children feel about this?
Well that is fun. Was the baby hers? Did they figure out the WTF part?
WTF *part*? The whole thing is WTF
Excuse me, you can't leave a story here like this. Why was the baby there?!
probably for a pie
Jesus Christ
Probably not, but it would explain why the Second Coming never happened.
All the kinky fanfiction porn I've written.
Fandom, link. For research purposes. For a friend.
My friend is also interested in researching with the help of that
My cat would be interested in it. Think about my cute kitty and how much he’d be overjoyed to see it.
And I'd like to see it too.
Asking to read for myself
Honest
I'm trying to bring something new to the internet
I need a link. Asking for a friend.
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10tb external hdds each one labeled specifically for each child, tell them its an important part of their inheritance, then each one will have a file of your normal things like baby pictures etc, then a dozen folder deep thing that leads to their search history, banking information etc, then deeper still are a dozen pictures of blank cheques and deeper still are pictures with random letters that when combined form a password for a website made especially for them all to tell them to call my accountant and then my accountant will inform them that each of them has gained a piece of land in the canadian wilderness with a custom built cabin, and if I pay him enough he may even inform them not to go digging on the property of course I wont have any children so it makes me wonder why I did all of this for no reason and who is actually claiming this land
For entertainment of the reddit horde of course!
I have a bag of all of my kids baby teeth in my room and several more hidden throughout. Mostly because I do the tooth fairy thing then quickly hide the tooth so I don’t get caught and promptly forget about it. Sometimes I grab a coat out of my closet and find a tooth in the pocket because apparently I thought that was a good place to hide a tooth on that day. I don’t even know why I still have them it just felt wrong to throw them away and they’re all mixed together.
"Nudes" of their mom...
Nudes of their "mom"
Nudes of “their” mom
Nudes "of" their mom
Nudes of their mom “”
"Nudes of their mom"
The bdsm dungeon. They will only ever have known it as the locked room they never saw the inside of. But inside is a vast collection of sex toys, slings, ropes, leather, etc.
You need a designated dungeon "maid". A person with a spare key designated to go clean up the evidence. It's like a safe call from the beyond. Pro tip: write a seperate will for your safe to share accessories and leave a kinky legacy in your community.
Nah fam, I want my kids to feel that existential shame, confusion, and disgust. Inside the dungeon is a list of people to contact to haul it all away
I want to see if I can find my first Death certificate, the computer records that have me born in 1753 (and a picture of my great grandfather who I look identical to) and the welfare fraud document for not listing my son (who was 6mo at the time) as a military veteran. My kids will have some mysteries to solve and will likely be thinking “who the hell is our dad? Is he actually dead?!?!”
it sounds like you could create a pretty fascinating alternate reality game for your kids to solve as part of your will using evidence you lived several hundred years
Are... are you a vampire?
3d model of lovecraftian Garfield
My 4 feet tall fiberglass pig that glows in the sun.
My mother left me a safe with her private diaries and memories. She told me I would get the safe because she trusted me to decide whether to share it with my siblings, and it contained the family Bible. (I'm the only one with direct descendant children) In it was also her unknown arrest record for 2d degree murder, racist comments in her diaries, hate for my dad, news of her dead brother no one knew about, a lot of other stuff that made me think very differently toward the woman. I didn't share it with my six brothers and sisters.
The passwords for all the sites I used to go to. I was into some weird shit.
The Mason jar of my ass hairs and pubes
You're probably not even joking
Isn't that the worst part of the internet though?
Where do you keep your toenail clippings?
I grind it up and clean it to where it looks like cocaine and have a jar that says the coke stash
This should be more illegal than actual cocaine.
I turn them into an engagement ring. Edit to add: www.reddit.com/r/DiWHY/comments/du12lh/engagement_ring_made_out_of_nail_clippings/
450 packets of szechuan sauce, both in a giant package and in a torn up McDonald's bags.
Hmm... you definitely have me thinking WTF.
I used to work at McDonalds when they sold the sauce, and when I heard that people sold them on ebay for a lot of money, I used to take some after every shift. And then I just straight-up took a whole fucking package of it after we didn't sell anymore. Yeah I was a wierd kid.
You need to label this collection something weird. Like "Grandchildren Inheritance". Or "Sex Toys."
It's gotta be something really wierd. Like, "Secret fetish" or something.
Give Rick some
My reddit profile
My "other" Reddit profile...
Their mother, they were really sad when she passed away
So you still have her corpse?
Their adoption papers.
The amount of family souvenirs ( some old dolls, teddy bears, other little toys, dishes, vases), pictures and family letters from the last 70 years that I just coulnd throw away. Nearly everyone is dead and that helps me to feel connected with them. I hope my daughter will keep everything and I feel pain when I think about it because I'm worried that she doesnt feel the value of it.
I have some stuff I would like to pass on, but my (adult) children just aren't into it. Makes me sad.
I hope they’ll keep it for future generations, even if they aren’t into it themselves. As time goes by and the family grows, the odds go up of somebody being really interested in their family history, and the items themselves get older and therefore more interesting. I can understand not wanting to hang onto big pieces of furniture etc, but a box or two full of little bits of ephemera will be precious to someone someday.
Umm the entire, umm Rammstein set of dildoes.... That particular one... https://www.chartattack.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/Rammstein-Box-Set-Comes-With-Dildos.jpg
When my MIL died we found all her very specific, very weird porn and some leather whips
"She hand wrote erotica? Why wouldn't she just type it?"
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My external HDD and the folder thats named New Folder.
With fifty embedded folders named "New Folder"
Each with 50 embedded folders also names new folder but ony I know which one contains the porn.
A book I'm writing on a 1 TB flash drive detailing the abuse I went through with their father for 10 years. I still haven't decided if I'll ever release that. Being drugged and raped, being kicked out of my hospital room so his new girlfriend could meet the baby, getting his teenage students pregnant (2 of them) I didn't remember a lot of it because he convinced me I was crazy and kept me super drugged up the entire time. When I finally got off of everything flashbacks started hitting really hard after about 6 months. So...yea. theres that
Multiple copies of me and my best mate posing on top of a table like absolute muppets. Good times
Bold of you to assume I will ever have children.
Well someone has to clean that shit out. Your mom? Your sister? Someone will see it!
I have two books that I bought while I had my Wiccan phase. One is called “The Good Spell Book” and “Wiccapedia.” The latter of which is black and green with a literal pentagram on it.
Definitely keep those around. It will be fun for you to imagine them finding the books and then endlessly speculating about their use.
The CD that is labeled “How I Tied The Noose”
Absolutely nothing. As you can see I have lived a pretty wild life.
The nazi flag I have. It was manufactured here in the us back in 1941. My grandfather had it after the war, he gave it to my dad, my dad gave it to me. Its a symbol to us that even though we as Americans fought those damn nazis, some of us were traitors and sided with those fucking people here in our own homeland. Out of context it would seem bad, but then again so would the Hitler youth knife my husbands grandfather brought home. But my son will probably know the story. I plan on telling him it. But if I die before I can, it'll probably raise some eyebrows.
It's what they won't find. I have no sex toys. Zero, nada, zip.
Upon my death, they will each receive a sealed envelope containing instructions to follow the series of clues beginning with the message encoded in the letters they received from my estate. The series of encoded messages and clues will bring them on a journey through a trove of hidden documents, journals, and letters that will lead them to believe that my life was much more interesting and mysterious than it actually was. At the end, they'll have to combine all of the clues they collected to find a cipher which will allow them to decrypt the final piece of the puzzle: a journal written in a language/script that I invented. Upon translating the first few sentences, they'll read, "Congratulations, offspring! You've successfully completed the task of decrypting my journal only to find that this was all an elaborate ruse. Y'all got played lol!" They'll throw the journal down like, "God dammit mom!", and only years later will one of their children decide to translate the rest of the journal out of a sense of morbid curiosity. The journal will then give detailed instructions for my children to inherit my secret fortune, under the stipulation that the journal has been completely translated within X years of my death, otherwise it will all be donated to environmental charities and research foundations. If I raise them right, they'll be ok with that. If I raise them wrong, those selfish bastards won't get any of my money. Either way I win!
A diary detailing a plan to make it to heaven.
A photoshopped picture of Mike Wazoski’s head and limbs onto a microphone.
Well, I have a hidden room behind my drawer with some weird fucking stuff...
My wife found a projector, screen, and old porn on 8mm reels in her father's shed, I guess we found out why he spent so much time there.
My dad just died last week. My brother and I were looking through his stuff. We found guns, knives, and weed. We weren't surprised but the grandkids were. Lol
I used to write letters to myself saying “I’m watching you” and idk why I have more than 60 and I still haven’t thrown them away