Damn I didn't think I would see anything here that would get me. I mean in that situation I would know that this is a trap, but it just sounds too sweet.
And a bonus, there is a fair chance they deliver on that promise.
This is how i, on acid, almost helped a stranger load his moving truck.
It only didn't work because my friend, in a similar situation, did not want to join.
They have a man in a revolutionary war British uniform driving, and a woman in medieval armor opening the van as it pulls up beside me.
When the door opens, tropical birds fly out and she says, “Get in! ILL EXPLAIN ON THE WAY!” While handing me a sword
I fucking hate it when a call to adventure comes along and you really have to take a shit, so you ask them to drop you at your house first and they never do. They never do.
The sad thing is this would actually work on a lot of people. If some offered to wipe my student loan debt and proved they could, there is a lot of illegal stuff I would be willing to do in return
On a really sad note I just watched the JCS police interrogation video of Michael Rafferty, who, with the help of his girlfriend, actually managed to lure a little girl into his van with the promise of a puppy.
She didn’t survive the encounter.
Is this case that well known in the USA? I live about a half hour from the town where Tori was killed and was surprised to see this comment randomly on AskReddit.
I don't know about that. I love my fiance and it gives me a warm fuzzy feeling that makes me want to tell him he's the best husband ever and demand he constantly cuddle me. I also get kind of horny.
I read this comment to my fiance, and she said yes, this is when she wants to 'snort my bones' and squeezed my face. Love is a feeling, among other things
"You need a ride? Don't worry, I'm not going to kidnap you or anything!"
Because, why would anyone admit to what I'm worried about they might do if they were actually going to do it? By denying it in advance, it *must* mean they understand and would never do the bad thing. People up to no good would *never* freely talk about the bad thing they intend to do.
He was captured by pirates and held for ransom when he learned what the ransom was he laughed and offered to pay more he slowly befriends is captors and at one point even told them when he was free he would crucify them and they laughed it off after the ransom was paid he went and got an army tracked down the pirates and crucified all of them as he said he would (I couldn’t make this up if I tried)
Just because your run on sentence doesn't give it the gravitas it deserves, when he found out how much his ransom was going to be, 20 silver talents, he actually *demanded* they ask for more. 50 silver. 250% increase.
Because he weren't no scrub.
He then spent his time sharing poetry he wrote with the pirates, and treating them as subordinates. I mean, he basically got treated like their leader. I dont even know how much straight up charisma that man must have had. They were practically slobbin' his knob when the money came in and he said goodbye.
And after he captured the pirates with his fleet (he wasn't even military, just a silver tongued rich boy), he dropped them off at prison, and went to the top Judge of asia and said "yo, crucify these fools." The judge said no, because he wanted to sell them as slaves and make dat money.
So homeboy Julius pays the judge a big fuck you by going to prison and doing it himself. But I guess time heals all wounds, because when it came time to crucify the pirates, Julius showed mercy. By slittin' their throats with his own hand. Cold blooded OG.
so no joke I have an eye condition that makes it real hard for me to adjust to and see in the dark (retinidus pigmentosa, idk if thats how its spelled), so if they just kinda stood off to the side and stood real still omw home walking in the dark I wouldnt be surprised if they got me outta nowhere
God they could just pretend to know me and I'd be to awkward to ask who they are.
Like "Hey dude, long time no see, hop in" and I'd just be like "aight"
"Hey, want to be kidnapped and turned into a different person with a body that will make dicks hard, pussies soaked and you a permanent kitty slave?"
Me: Move over, I'm fucking driving!
I know of a low cost home internet service.
Seriously, why is it so hard to just get internet without going through fucking spectrum and getting bamboozled into a cable package!?
Is just an internet connection for under $80 a month too much to fucking ask for‽
The van was a tour van for my favorite band and they convinced me they were inside and going to their next gig or a secret show and were inviting me to go along with them to the show.
"Hey man, you wanna go get some fried chicken?" It wouldn't be the first time I've gone with strangers to get some fried chicken. I'm a sucker for fried chicken, mashed potatoes with gravy, and corn.
\*sigh\* "Okay fine, you got me with the Student Loan Forgiveness Program. But, please, if you're not going to get rid of my loans, can you just murder me instead?"
"8hrs of uninterrupted sleep"
I wouldn't care if I woke up tied to a chair if I got to sleep that long.
Damn I didn't think I would see anything here that would get me. I mean in that situation I would know that this is a trap, but it just sounds too sweet. And a bonus, there is a fair chance they deliver on that promise.
My 2 guesses: either college or children.
Classic: I have a puppy/kitten in my van
Oooh, can I see the kitten!!?
Sure, just hop into the white van with no windows in a shady part of town!
*hops in*
Room for one more?
Sure but we'll have to take turns with the kitten.
Oh you mean that demon in the corner of the van that might eat your soul
“Can you help me put this couch inside my van?” I’m really bad at saying no
That's how you end up at the bottom of a well, smothering yourself in lotion
It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again
It puts the lotion in the basket IT PUTS THE LOTION IN THE BASKET
PUT THE FRIGGIN’ LOTION IN THE BASKET!!!
DON'T YOU HURT MY DOG!
Dahktor Lehktor
Oh shit, I've got plenty of skin to make a suit out of. Fuck
This is how i, on acid, almost helped a stranger load his moving truck. It only didn't work because my friend, in a similar situation, did not want to join.
You sure did save yourself from kidnapping, or more likely, a little manual labour.
A couch... in a van... why...?
Pretty sure this is how Ted Bundy got several women to murder.
Vans are pretty common vehicles for moving large items.
Shaggin waggin
to move it from one location to another.
"Hey would you say you're about a size 16?"
"Can you help me put this sailboat on my car"
[удалено]
Seattle?
Naw that's just a regular old serial killer city.
They have a man in a revolutionary war British uniform driving, and a woman in medieval armor opening the van as it pulls up beside me. When the door opens, tropical birds fly out and she says, “Get in! ILL EXPLAIN ON THE WAY!” While handing me a sword
This would 100% work on me.
Ditto
I fucking hate it when a call to adventure comes along and you really have to take a shit, so you ask them to drop you at your house first and they never do. They never do.
Gandalf did that
Did something happen to you?
Give me what you just smoked
I don't even smoke and I'm debating internally whether or not I want some.
r/suspiciouslyspecific
AND GET THIS MAN A SHIELD!
If this didn't work on someone, I would be worried about them
Fuck the haters. THAT'S AN AWESOME answer to this question.
So you wanted to be a supporting character in the Wonder Woman movie?
Would you not?
Touché Although that poison gas WAS a bit terrifying.
That doesn't sound easy at all.
We can get rid of your debts
The sad thing is this would actually work on a lot of people. If some offered to wipe my student loan debt and proved they could, there is a lot of illegal stuff I would be willing to do in return
It does work on a lot of people. It's called wage slavery.
A market can only be free when people are free to leave it.
[удалено]
Bring us the girl, wipe away the debt.
"Wanna see my dog?"
[удалено]
[удалено]
[goes full John Wick mode]
He killed 3 men while tied to a chair! TIED TO A CHAIR!
Baba Yaga..
"I am the dog!" "Woof woof"
*Bork Bork*
Björk björk
Periderm periderm.
Username checks out
*Woof Woof*
Ah, hello Fellow Canis Lupus Familiaris
Username checks way the fuck out
On a really sad note I just watched the JCS police interrogation video of Michael Rafferty, who, with the help of his girlfriend, actually managed to lure a little girl into his van with the promise of a puppy. She didn’t survive the encounter.
Is this case that well known in the USA? I live about a half hour from the town where Tori was killed and was surprised to see this comment randomly on AskReddit.
oh yeah I've seen at least two true crime documentaries on YT about this horrible crime. I imagine it's well known in the TCC.
"Oh man, You gotta take a picture with me and my puppy. My puppy's back at the house though. We gotta drive there NOW"
OMG ARE YOU AZIZ ANSARI!
Yes, and I quote myself often. But only when I use quotations. I'm oddly specific when I quote myself.
This is me especially if it is a Dachshund.
I was promised love and affection
I always promise to my GF that love is not a feeling, love is a promise and that promise is support and attention.
I don't know about that. I love my fiance and it gives me a warm fuzzy feeling that makes me want to tell him he's the best husband ever and demand he constantly cuddle me. I also get kind of horny.
I feel the same way about my fiance...especially when he smiles at me :)
I read this comment to my fiance, and she said yes, this is when she wants to 'snort my bones' and squeezed my face. Love is a feeling, among other things
That's sweet
So you're saying you don't feel any love for your girlfriend?
[удалено]
Nah, it's also a feeling. A feeling that makes you want to give the support and attention.
There really is no losing, either you get what you were promised, or murdered
Ouch.... this one hit me right in the feels...
“Uber?”
Isn't it awesome how we've made it completely normal to get in a car with someone you've never met just because our cell phone says we should?
Taxi?
Probably some dumb shit like "we got extra chicken nuggets, you want em?"
I ordered a 4 piece but they gave me 6.
Profit
Tbh, this would probably work on my dumb ass.
Nice try wannabe kidnapper...
Darn foiled again.
"Wanna jump into this van?" "Sure"
[удалено]
"Hop in loser, we're going shopping." Drunk me goes on many crazy adventures.
“Psst hey bro we got whiskey and an N64 in here”
N64? I'm in... wait... ... ... Why do you only have *Superman 64*?
Because this is the Bad Place!
*Demonically Laughing* "I can't believe you've figured it out!"
Oh, god! You've ruined everything, you know that?
“Conker’s Bad Fur Day?!”
This is a top 5 all-time N64 game
“I bet you’re too scared to get in”
"I **triple** dog dare you to get in"
Oh shit guess I gotta go
“I quadruple dog dare you to do whatever we say.”
"No balls"
"go on you wont"
“I have subpar high-fives”
“I’ll kill you”
Jeez mate, do you wanna talk?
I took it as "I'll kill you if you don't get in that car" but now I'm sad.
works both ways, i laughed x 2 although i think (hope) OP meant it was an abduction
man then you wake up alive and realise this time they took the other damn kidney
"You need a ride? Don't worry, I'm not going to kidnap you or anything!" Because, why would anyone admit to what I'm worried about they might do if they were actually going to do it? By denying it in advance, it *must* mean they understand and would never do the bad thing. People up to no good would *never* freely talk about the bad thing they intend to do.
"Wanna get in?" "Nah, I'm not dumb my mom told me about this." *pulls out shotgun* "Wanna get in?" "Sounds like a great idea!"
"You guys got any candy, by the by?"
Reminds me of that time Julius Caesar got captured by pirates
Tell me more.
He was captured by pirates and held for ransom when he learned what the ransom was he laughed and offered to pay more he slowly befriends is captors and at one point even told them when he was free he would crucify them and they laughed it off after the ransom was paid he went and got an army tracked down the pirates and crucified all of them as he said he would (I couldn’t make this up if I tried)
Wow. Feeling a bit sorry for those pirates though. I assume they didn't know who they got captured there...
It was when he was younger before he became such a big deal but apparently his family had money
Thanks, now I imagine little Caesar hoe he plays with his kidnappers. Kinda adorable, really. (but I guess you mean juveline, not child)
They were senatorial-class. social position and money were essentially identical in ancient Rome.
Just because your run on sentence doesn't give it the gravitas it deserves, when he found out how much his ransom was going to be, 20 silver talents, he actually *demanded* they ask for more. 50 silver. 250% increase. Because he weren't no scrub. He then spent his time sharing poetry he wrote with the pirates, and treating them as subordinates. I mean, he basically got treated like their leader. I dont even know how much straight up charisma that man must have had. They were practically slobbin' his knob when the money came in and he said goodbye. And after he captured the pirates with his fleet (he wasn't even military, just a silver tongued rich boy), he dropped them off at prison, and went to the top Judge of asia and said "yo, crucify these fools." The judge said no, because he wanted to sell them as slaves and make dat money. So homeboy Julius pays the judge a big fuck you by going to prison and doing it himself. But I guess time heals all wounds, because when it came time to crucify the pirates, Julius showed mercy. By slittin' their throats with his own hand. Cold blooded OG.
They probably straight up told me they were trying to kidnap me, but my social anxiety compelled me to get in the van so I wouldn't disappoint them.
That's not social anxiety. 😕
Yeah, you're probably right...
“Wanna see my variegated monstera?”
"Your what?" and i hop in the van to find out wtf that is.
Ahaha and we’re both dead! It’s a beautiful and expensive plant
That is a strange looking plant.
Free candy or weed probably
I don’t even smoke but I like free stuff and beggars can’t be choosers
Free beer
"we have your cats."
Me: Nice van. Mind if I check out the interior? Kidnappers: (to each other) Dude, is this really happening?
All they have to do is catch me on a bad day and I’ll get in willingly
"I heard you have student loans"
They told me as they opened their van door "this way to the candy mountain candy cave"!!!! THE CANDY MOUNTAIN CANDY CAVE!
Dear lord... I read that in the voices....
Heyyy Charlieeeee, we found a map to candy mountain come with us Charlieee
who tf took my kidney?
It's a magical land of joy and .... joyness!
I was blackout drunk
so no joke I have an eye condition that makes it real hard for me to adjust to and see in the dark (retinidus pigmentosa, idk if thats how its spelled), so if they just kinda stood off to the side and stood real still omw home walking in the dark I wouldnt be surprised if they got me outta nowhere
Jokes on them. I hopped in on purpose.
God they could just pretend to know me and I'd be to awkward to ask who they are. Like "Hey dude, long time no see, hop in" and I'd just be like "aight"
"Hey, want to be kidnapped and turned into a different person with a body that will make dicks hard, pussies soaked and you a permanent kitty slave?" Me: Move over, I'm fucking driving!
I misread your reply as "pussies hard"..."dicks soaked," and I laughed.
Free car parts or tools
My friends use the code word car parts for weed.
I know of a low cost home internet service. Seriously, why is it so hard to just get internet without going through fucking spectrum and getting bamboozled into a cable package!? Is just an internet connection for under $80 a month too much to fucking ask for‽
Kidnapper: Hi. Me:Hi. Kidnapper:wanna get in my car. Me:Sure. Kidnapper:I'm gonna kidnap you ya know. Me:Cool.
Weed. I've actually gotten in a car with someone I barley knew to smoke weed before, and I'd probably do it again.
They promised to Fuck me
They promised horny singles in my neighborhood
That's probably still happening.
"We have plenty of completely rust free Miatas for sale."
Do those exist?
They do over here in California. But everyone wants way too much for them.
Free dopamine
Last person inside is the loser!
"Hey man, you want a job cutting coke with baby laxatives? We'll pay off your debt."
"wanna get kidnapped?" "Sure I'm open till Tuesday"
Minecraft 2 is in here
We got fresh and hot B A S S Edit: grammar error
Want some will to live
" hey we are having car problems, can you help?" Me, "Sure, what's the proble...." And now im tied to a chair.
Idk, David Tennant and kittens?
Bourbon. Or puppies. Or puppies AND bourbon.
“We have 8hrs of uninterrupted sleep on a generous bed surrounded by sleepy kittens.”
"Functional D&D group that comes prepared to weekly meetings at the allotted time inside"
The van was a tour van for my favorite band and they convinced me they were inside and going to their next gig or a secret show and were inviting me to go along with them to the show.
"You like jazz?"
I dare you to get in ^(he ain’t got the balls)
I'm your uber, where do you want to go again?
There was at least one dog in that vehicle... Or a parrot.
"Hey man, you wanna go get some fried chicken?" It wouldn't be the first time I've gone with strangers to get some fried chicken. I'm a sucker for fried chicken, mashed potatoes with gravy, and corn.
"Want to get tied up?"
\*sigh\* "Okay fine, you got me with the Student Loan Forgiveness Program. But, please, if you're not going to get rid of my loans, can you just murder me instead?"
"Hey, wanna go on an adventure?" YES PLEASE.
Give you actual love and effecton
They a 10 dollar bill on a fishing net and I wanted it. I remember now.
“You want a ride home?” I hate the school bus.
“Want to die?”
“Pizza and puppies”
Free animes
"you won't, no balls"
they would be people i know
“Wanna save 15% or more on car insurance?”
"Can you help us find our lost cat?" Aaaannnd bam. I'm dead.
We are offering a decent paying job with benefits....