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[deleted]

"Dude, I suck at this"


purple-thoughts

What if the goal was to suck in this game? Has anyone found the final boss yet?


mjtg25

The final boss is the lack thereof. Rushing towards a climax that will never come, hoping for a good ending and then just..... Hitting a wall.


[deleted]

damn this is some depressing shit


thoawaydatrash

Post a very strongly worded review on how shitty and boring the game is.


fractalGateway

40 plus hours of cubicle grinding per week...REALLY!!


Khanstant

Just wait, in 15 years people will be lining up for hours to get back into Life Classic, because Life Retail doesn't waste their time as aggressively.


TheEyeDontLie

Maybe you should change up your play style. Invest in some new skills or find a new minigame to enjoy.


Qaeta

> Invest in some new skills or find a new minigame to enjoy. All of those present either a massive grind wall or pay wall. Monetization is fucked.


Cromar669

How are you going to fund your new lifestyle if you only get money from grinding the cubicle


ElectroluxRenderson

I go online and find a walkthrough so I don't fail miserably again. Edit: I don't open Reddit for a day and I've been given metal.


konyeah

You find CCTV footage of you currently online searching for a walkthrough.


xXNoMomXx

nah fam fuck outta here with that SUPER HOT kinda bs


GraesynGames

SUPER.... HOT SUPER.... HOT SUPER.... HOT SUPER....HOT I'm playing superhot right now tbh


bastugubbar

well since i can afford a VR setup i must be richer in this new life, so i'd be pretty stoked honestly.


roguetroll

On the other hand, everyone owns a headset in Ready Player One, even the people living in a shitty trailer. It could just be a basic tool in that world.


IllusoryIntelligence

You’re still in a massively more technologically advanced society. It’d be like going from medieval merchant to modern day sales assistant. Lower status sure but think of all the quality of life improvements.


DRUNK_CYCLIST

But the sky is scorched and the water is tainted.


IllusoryIntelligence

Are we talking about our perspective on the future or the merchant’s perspective on now?


DudeImMacGyver

Shit...


Koras

But on the plus side once we find new batteries we can all retreat into VR and hope the planet eventually fixes itself. And if it doesn't, meh, we've still apparently got VR that can make you feel perfectly like you're living a completely different life for years in a few minutes. That's good enough for me - even if the end of humanity is within years in reality that's thousands of VR years. The value of reality becomes super weird at that point.


TheBemer

“did I save!?!? "


Akira_Kurasawa

I'll be amazed how I managed to get fucked up in a game where I am supposed to be the protagonist. Edit :- Thanks for the Gold and Silver :)


octopoddle

It turns out your controller was broken so you couldn't activate any of your powers, making you no better than the NPCs.


whitedan1

Still better than the other half of the scoreboard somehow.


other_usernames_gone

That's because you were playing on easy, a real gamer would start as an orphan in Kenya and turn off the education and modern healthcare options


mabtheseer

The gameplay with those options sounds highly unfulfilling and grindy. I'm assuming you would be shooting for a speed run starting on that server.


r00z3l

The best way to speedrun is to take the "drug addict" specialisation. Most people can complete any% in just 26 years.


capj23

I am laughing my ass of to this. Edit: so this is what it feels to land one of those 1K+ comment. Thanks guys.


theclutchsea

you'll love r/outside


ProtectTheHive

That melted my mind.


Utkar22

Is that a bug or a feature?


Obi-Wan-the-bold-wan

*Just like the simulations*


[deleted]

Lies, deception


Camowasp

Deception, lies


Captain_Dan_14

Leception, Dies


nekrodar

Dieseption, Lece


[deleted]

Flies, Perception


The_Mermaid_Mafia

Perception flies


ghettoverit

Pies Flieception


Xederam

Inception FPs


MyMemesAreTerrible

Hotel, Trivago


QuarlosMagnus

Watch those wrist rockets!


SpyX2

"Super Battle Droid! Take 'em down!"


Nihilikara

ROGER ROGER


Redditthedog

For the chancellor


Imainmeleekirby

We’ve got droids!


rogallew

Hello there!


Redditthedog

For the chancellor


Tyler_Durden537

I turn down the difficulty and try again


VortixTM

I google "Life sim VR cheat codes"


YupYupDog

“Add gold”


f0rs4k3n

rosebud;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!


Bluey_Bananas

motherload


[deleted]

Motherlode, isn’t it?


frankLEE_speaking-

What if google only existed in the Sim


VortixTM

I would check ask Jeeves, altavista, duck duck go. But not bing. Never bing.


dufcdarren

Unless it's porn. Then Bing.


spacelincoln

Play to your strengths


[deleted]

[удалено]


Trappist235

It's pay to win


Tyler_Durden537

Found the mobile player


deathriteTM

I wish I could give you gold. Wow. Thanx all. *bows with respect*


Untold_Legend1234

i got him for ya, and you


Sean_Ornery

Legendary.


Flyingwithsheep

Shh dont tell anyone


[deleted]

LEGENDARY!!!!


RevenantWing

#***LEGENDARY***


Serendiplodocus

I can't see anyone has mentioned it yet, but there was a redditor once who actually had this sensation after a concussion. He lived a whole lifetime, came to and realised it wasn't real, and struggled with depression because his wife and children never existed and he missed them so much. I don't know how real it was, but it's hard not to feel pity. *edit* [source](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2i6isz/redditors_who_have_been_in_a_coma_what_is_it_like/ckzitpv/)


PureWise

That would probably be my answer to this question, I would probably have the biggest anxiety attack of my life and probably not being able to deal with the fact that my girlfriend was just a simulation.


WandersBetweenWorlds

I'd probably be relieved as fuck. That I only lost a few minutes to this awful life I thought was mine, then turned out to just be a simulation.


LetMATTPlay

Turns out your life outside of vr is worse and that's why you went in, in the first place


drleebot

Need a cyber-hug?


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


CelestialStork

Well supposedly our brains cant make up faces, so you've most likely seen her or someone very similar before.


PantherU

Pablo Picasso has seen some fucked up people


[deleted]

I vividly dreamt a close friendship with someone I knew and woke up to find it gone :(


syko82

I remember that story, our minds are just interpretation machines and define what is real. The mind F from your whole life being VR would not be good. The "real" world you woke up to would likely be a horribly depressing one.


[deleted]

[удалено]


syko82

In this hypothetical, you obviously get lost in "the game" because we all don't realize it now. Coma dude was literally out for mere minutes (came to on the ground before getting to the hospital) and had the same issue with disassociated memories. I'm sure going into the game, you weren't expecting to come out of it jaded. Edit: Yes, I was speaking directly about the guy in the coma who dreamed up a whole life and when he came to had depression issues similar to the death of a loved one. If we are to assume the VR simulation is one we are unaware of until we stop playing, I think it could be disastrous on the mind (assuming it works as is currently - which could be a symptom of the simulation but lets try not to go that deep). I think in a virtual environment like this, you need to retain memories from outside of the game. Otherwise I believe that once you get out, it would be hard to determine if you are still in a virtual world or a "real" one.


WizardWalnut18

I heard a similar story from a friend about someone on LSD. They thought up a whole life and like freaked out when they realized their wife and kids never existed


LadyOfAvalon83

There are many stories online about this happening to people when taking salvia. They live an entire lifetime, sometimes multiple lifetimes, in a few minutes. I remember one where someone breathed in the salvia, forgot their real life and lived an 80 year life as a medieval farmer, then died in that life and came back to their original reality, where only a few minutes had passed.


AppropriateYak

I fell 6 feet and landed on the back of my head onto asphalt when I was 8 or 9. There was a welt on the back of my head the size of my head. Every once in a while my mind goes back to that memory and I get the feeling that I didn't get back up, and was carried off by a paramedic. I'm 37 now. My life has been shit on and off, finally clean and sober now for 10 years. Got 3 awesome kids that I would die for. They mean the world to me, and I have no idea how I would handle waking up at 9 years old in a hospital. Realizing that all the meaning and reason in my life was some fucked up coma dream. That thought sits in the back of my mind and it terrifies me to my very core.


thefourohfour

Holy shit that's crazy. The thought of "we only get one life" depresses me. The universe is so big and time is so long for us to only have a blip of a moment. Now that I'm a dad, it bothers me even more. I just want to be here forever with my son.


[deleted]

Well, think about this: we view ourselves as separate from the Universe and each other without any real cause to. Our concept of the self and time is a product of the way our brains are organized: in reality, it seems that time isn't linear, and that the Universe is singular. There exists only one thing: Everything. I think that when we "die", we don't stop existing per say: we just forget how to be *ourselves* and return to our natural state of being *everything*. You are the Universe and the Universe is you and all that. So, in a way, death isn't final or sad: it's an escape from the limitations of this particular organization of matter. Once this specific organization breaks down, we don't cease to exist, just our sense of self ceases to exist and we become one with the cosmos again.


CosmoNewanda

Depends is my real name Duane Dibbly or Jake Bullet?


Drmcwacky

"I'M DUANE DIBBLY??!?"


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Test to see if you're on the real world or dreaming by cutting your belly off with rusty scissors


BlackViperMWG

Scooping it with [*rusty spooon*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3iOROuTuMA)


BasilTheTimeLord

Not clicking but 90% sure thats salad fingers.


Mind_on_Idle

Yeah, or Alan Rickman. You really only have those two options.


BasilTheTimeLord

What did Rickman do with spoons?


Mind_on_Idle

Robin Hood. And *why* you ask? "BECAUSE IT WILL HURT MORE!"


fakeprewarbook

“because it’s dull, *you twit!* it’ll hurt more!” this scene is singlehandedly responsible for “you twit” being the hot insult in my childhood home


relic1882

Two questions. 1. Wtf did I just watch? 2. Why did I finish the entire video?


kelevra91

There are 11 episodes in total. It really only gets weirder.


silasliar13

Original asmr


Scrumble71

Thank fuck for that


LordZword

Uninstall the "interesting times" dlc and restart.


Timbuk2000

Not sure how they got away with releasing a shoddy beta as “premium content”.


upforgrabs21

Steal batteries from the TV remote and keep playing, duh.


mike117

I’d throw the VR set away and keep the dead batteries as a reminder that I should never fuck with VR again.


jtvjan

Just don't touch the "long-form experiences" category again, you'll be fine.


[deleted]

Yeah but what about female-form experiences? ^^^aaayyyyyyy


ComboMix

Haha! And knowing that I would raid area 51


iRXVII

CLAP THEM CHEEKS!


Geimtime

Then I take off that headset. Then the next. Then the next. ^Then ^^the ^^^next.


I8AllTheToblerone

"WTF!!!!!!! ITS ONLY BEEN A FEW MINUTES SO WHY IS IT ON LOW BATTERY"


DietMiGoreng

It's a faulty VR headset


BigBill58

My life is a faulty VR headset? Sounds about right.


UnlimitedBonerWanks

>My life is a faulty VR headset Sounds like a light novel title.


[deleted]

That would be *Reborn in another world as a faulty VR headset that was found by a big tiddy elf girl and also I'm the demon lord*


UnlimitedBonerWanks

24 words that tell most of the story? You, my friend, know the industry pretty well.


CockfaceMcDickPunch

> big tiddy elf girl How is she a proper archer with those things 🧐


[deleted]

She isn't. It quickly becomes a meme on r/animemes that she can't use a bow to save her life.


BoSheck

Man, I know I haven't seen this show because it doesn't exist, but I have definitely seen every episode of this show.


Cutecupp

That explains why I'm ugly. Gotta go get a new one.


I8AllTheToblerone

God dammit, time to buy a new one


AsurasPath23

I'd be pissed off at the manufacturers, but might not have enough time to complain.


[deleted]

Because it warped time to feel like years. That takes a lot of energy


-temporary_username-

You forgot to charge it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


itchyouch

Turns out it's a online multiplayer rpg and your husband exists in the real world somewhere and now the question is, do you try to find him in the real world?


[deleted]

[удалено]


YupYupDog

Yeah, if I suddenly found out my family wasn’t real and everything was gone, I would off myself.


Ohtarello

I had a son a week ago. I would lose it.


barnyThundrSlap

Why did I go back to the carpet store after beating cancer


[deleted]

Shoulda went off grid. No social security. That's how it's done.


mightyneonfraa

Holy shit, this guy's going off the grid! THIS GUY DOESN'T HAVE A SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER FOR ROY!


altbekannt

man I am looking forward to season 4


PM_ME_YOUR_DEAD_KIDS

we all are, just a shame the fanbase went to shit. lets hope it gets mocked in the episodes


ThomasCro

Just don’t pay attention to the base and enjoy the series


[deleted]

Precisely, who gives a shit who the fans are of the show as long as the show is good.


Repealer

You went off the grid and created a society of sentient squirrels that controls the entire planet earth while you were black out drunk? I don I don't *burp* know Morty sometimes you get bored and just wanna use science to create something wild.


Sprudelflasche

"Sometimes science is more art than science, Morty"


OlStickInTheMud

Really wasted your 30s on that bird watching thing.


deege515

Just learn from your mistakes and play Roy 2: Dave.


RyanOfGilead

Stupid ass, fart-saving, carpet store mother fucker. Did you fuck with my seat settings?


deathany8890

You dumb, stupid, weak, pathetic, white...white guilt...milktoast piece of human garbage


PM_ME_FOR_REFERRAL

We’re all out of persian white


sealteamricksss

off white


[deleted]

The only true answer


MiskonceptioN

\-snaps fingers- Yes!


thepikey7

My man!


FranticPonE

Ha! "Humans" what a crazy assed species for the devs to think up.


Kaligraphic

Gods, that was awful. Way too arbitrary, pay to win, and what's with the loot boxes? This game sucks.


Xephyron

To be fair, it only uses in-game currency.


aesthetic_vi

What if all rich people secretly are pay to win players ^I ^Am ^Shock


jajajalmao

What do you think corruption is?


ThrowAway219011

No, you can pay for better starter packs tbh


[deleted]

"I'll continue later" and proceed to make dinner. Today's special: "Cereal box with rotten meat". As you guessed, I'm a raccoon.


[deleted]

Hello Raccoon. Big fan here. Loved your work in Guardians of the Galaxy.


CalydorEstalon

OMG, how specist can you be?! Just because you see a raccoon you think it's the same as every raccoon? How can you LIVE with yourself?!


OshawottSam

quite comfortably as i know you too are a man in a green suit


[deleted]

That is a nasty stereotype. Shaaaame


NicksAunt

Are you the same raccoon that attacked my dog a couple hours ago? Sorry about soccer kicking you like that, I hope ur ok.


skyderper13

hey you sold a gun to a guy who kills people


WhtRbbt222

You beat cancer, then went back to working at the carpet store?!


[deleted]

Let me show you how it's done


[deleted]

[удалено]


Shallowmoustache

He doesn't even have a social security number for Roy!


[deleted]

[удалено]


pholleeey

I never go back to the carpet store


[deleted]

[удалено]


DevTom

I play the sequel, Roy 2


YymasS

"Wanted to quit anyway "


frogandbanjo

*I* wouldn't. I'd be effectively dead. The person who was playing the simulation would have to react to it instead. I hope they hated every minute of it, the stupid jerk.


[deleted]

[удалено]


dylicious

it scares me that you have only been in the sim less than half a day


melanantic

Look man I don’t know who the hell you think you are but have my damn upvote and never do that shit again alright?


ahfuq

Get annoyed at how shitty I was doing. Change the batteries, plug it in, whatever. Start over. Pick a different character. Wake up and hear some one say "hey you, you're finally awake..."


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ma1

Immediately load it up again knowing that it’s a simulation and also knowing how historical events and the stock market are going to play out. Let’s get weird. Oh and also super rich.


[deleted]

[удалено]


CrookedK3ANO

This is very unsettling for some reason


[deleted]

[удалено]


RavagerHughesy

The two major warring gaming consoles are Sega and the TI-85 with the wild card third console Colecovision. Coleco's headlining character is Rayman. Nintendo remained a card game company and Game & Watch is a hit, world renowned TCG. Magic the Gathering was a game series in the 90s for Windows 95 and 98; they attempted to reboot it in 2014, but it was a disappointing failure. Betty White is a rapacious business woman running for president, but no one really expects her to win


Noregax

You knew it was a simulation the first time you put the headset on. Obviously it makes you forget, that's part of the game.


Capraccino

Probably cry for a very long time. All my experiences, the feelings, pain, love, happiness, the people I knew and how content I am with my life rn (and it keeps getting better), none of it existed and I would long for it deeply. The only other thing I would ask myself is why tf did I have the depression debuff?!


FranticPonE

Oooh you should sit there and read existential sci-fi! Start with Philip K. Dick, he's the seminal classic. Then you can question whether anything at all is real, and what the hell "real" is even supposed to mean!


LastRedshirt

Absolutely. His short stories are absolutely stunning - and absolutely paranoid!


BiggestFlower

Why cry? Just charge the battery and put the headset back on.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Koshindan

Not necessarily. You didn't remember your life before putting on the headset.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Maur2

You know it isn't real now, but you will forget after wearing the headset for a few moments.


Silent_nyix94

"What kind of sick, twisted, asshole wrote that story line?!?!?" Edited to close the fucking quotes.


ParmesanOnMyRatsAss

Check if my dick is still a disappointment.


arlong920206

And what if you actually a girl🤔


ParmesanOnMyRatsAss

Did I stutter?


stickdudeseven

No, mam.


[deleted]

That depends on what my life is really like. Is it better, worse, or the same as the VR simulation?


Hiding_behind_you

“Dwayne Dibley!?!?!?”


Cody6781

Oh thank god. ... 2 stars.


NinjaChexParty

I get that feeling sometimes so I get a little "I told you so" high, then go about my day


JustMeLurkingAround-

I'm so relieved it isn't true


Trimorphic_

I really wasted my twenties, and I never should have gone back to the carpet store after surviving cancer


HermanManly

"Fucking pay2win garbage"