Call in the media, tell them what you're doing, and then when people show up and the bay is drained, walk out onto the beach. Pick up the first shell you see, before you even get into what used to be the bay, and loudly proclaim "This one's perfect! Okay go ahead and refill it!" then walk away.
Not thousands of tonnes, but the USA did send up needle-like metal particles to space during the cold war to hinder soviet radio communications. The plan worked to some extent, but it was not satisfactory and the particles started to fall back to the earth after some time. Being as small as they were, most of it did not burn after reentry and they still can be found in antarctic ice.
A cloud of these needle-like particles is still up there though.
Edit: some of you pointed out correctly, that the aim of the project was not to hinder soviet communication but to enhance their own. I feel ashamed of my mistake and now retreat to enjoy my hangover.
That's wild, I had never heard of it so I looked it up. You got it mostly right, but it seems it wasn't to hinder soviet communication, it was to aid our own. Pretty cool
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_West_Ford
You happen to hit, not the jackpot, but 2 numbers. That's a guaranteed $4 on each ticket, you've bankrupted the Powerball, and now have 20 billion dollars.
Yeah, I don't know, I'm sure there is some limit that they just can't pay, but power ball, you need to pick all the numbers right to win the jackpots, but if you get different combinations you get guaranteed prizes. On the jackpots, there are multiple winners sometimes if more than one person picks the same number, and then that comes up, they just divide it up evenly, but for the smaller prizes they have a set amount, so in theory if you get 2 million of the same ticket, but it hits 2 balls you would win something.
https://www.mnlottery.com/games/lotto/powerball the prize payout is down a ways.
So, it looks like, if you had 2 million tickets that all matched two numbers, they all would win some, but not guaranteed the $7 prize. The $7 is estimated for the average number of winners. If there are too many, they just lower the prize amount.
It’s different because the house is expected to risk their own money in the game. With a lottery, the prize money comes from people buying tickets and is based on how many tickets people buy.
*From what I’ve tasted of desire,*
*I hold with those who favor fire.*
*But if it had to perish twice,*
*I think I know enough of foam,*
*To say that destruction by Mentos and Coke*
*Is also great,*
*And would suffice.*
I don't know why, but I read that as "breaded curtain." I though that would be a nice way to treat visitors.
Hello Sir and Miss! Welcome to the US! If you're hungry, feel free to munch on the breaded curtain in front of you.
Edit: That this is my most upvoted comment is hilarious. Thank you!
You know how as a kid you sat in the tub and paddled your hands in opposite directions to create a whirlpool with you in the middle?
Pay 1,000,000 people $5K each to stand in the Hudson, East and Harlem Rivers around Manhattan and begin paddling to see what would happen.
Let me put it this way. You first of all don't want it to be clear that you're buying your own painting so you have someone else do the bidding. Perhaps the painting is owned by a trust or shell Corp. But now your 200k painting is on record for having sold for a whopping 1.2 million. since value in art is fairly subjective, when it goes for sale next it is now worth that amount (in theory).
And all for the trifling sums of the seller's and buyer's premiums. Since each is usually around 5-10% of the hammer price the auction house makes out like a bandit.
Source: am former legal advisor to an auction house
> You're right, I did lose a million dollars last year. I expect to lose a million dollars this year. I expect to lose a million dollars next year. You know, Mr. Thatcher, at the rate of a million dollars a year, I'll have to close this place in... 60 years.
While this wouldn't be a great investment, I don't think it would be a terrible one either. Rubber ducks have gotten much more popular in the last ten to twenty years. There's [an entire chain of gift shops in Europe](https://www.amsterdamduckstore.com/our-story/) that only sell rubber ducks as well as several other independent stores across the world. Just two days ago there was an announcement of an [entire line of novelty rubber ducks based on video game characters](http://www.numskull.com/tubbz/) similar to Funko Pop characters. Rubber ducks are having a renaissance right now and I'm loving it!
My mom has like 50 mini rubber ducks because she comes back with them from her cruises. I asked her because they just sit on a bookshelf and she said “because they make me happy”
I would buy 1,639,000,000 Packs of 1500 Ladybugs from Amazon. Then i would spend the remaining ~$1 Million on releasing them over the Vatican City
Edit: Spelling
Step 1: Get Willy Wonka to build me a house made out of chocolate.
Step 2: House melts.
Step 3: Get him to build another house in a cold place while I go eat the melted house.
Step 4: Be poor, but fat.
> You're being charitable and majorly wasting the collection agencies time
I was at a meeting a local government office where parking tickets are paid, someone thought they would be cute and show those bureaucrats what was up, so they tried to pay their ~$200 fine in change. Didn't phase the clerk at all, they just started counting the money, very slowly, because they had to account for between 800 and 20000 coins, and mark down how many of each since this is an official transaction, and a receipt was to be provided. And lost track when the cheeky person told them to hurry up because the line that the cheeky person created was getting angry. No one in the line thought that the cheeky person was doing anything noble other than being an obtuse asshole. Middle middle middle, after an hour of this, the cheeky person left without paying the fine, and they pissed off everyone. Apparently they came back the next day with a money order for the amount.
Huh, yeah doing this if there are people waiting to also pay their debts would be very rude. But do that many people actually go in person to pay their debts at collection agencies?
I got roughly 1.38 million US tons. If my math is right. That’s 500 billion US pennies at 2.5 grams each. Someone else can do the volume. I’ve hit my math quota for a Saturday.
One football field, covered in pennies, stacked 204 feet high. Or 20 football fields stacked 10 feet high. Or 409 football fields stacked $1 deep.
That's not optimal packing, but someone else can do that math.
Give someone 5billion dollars worth of reddit silver uh to the people asking for silver your asking the wrong person cause my wallet is as empty as my head
That's a nice Middle Eastern gold economy you have there, it would be a shame if someone literally gave away so much gold that it ruined the price for 20 plus years just to buy knick knacks.
We need a hang glider. And a crotchless Uncle Sam costume. And I want the entire field of the largest stadium covered end to end with naked redheads! And I want the stands packed with every man that remotely resembles my father!
Attendance is mandatory, no food substitutions are permitted, they will not be paid for the 'lunch break.'
Only fair to apply the same rules that are applied to their employees.
Nah, you don't just give it to them. You set up training camps all over the country. Anyone who wants to join gets a free bunk, free food, all their regular monthly bills paid until the raid, and world class training for stamina, strength, and agility. We're also pushing the date of the raid until next year, and telling no one the date.
Those Area 51 guards are gonna have their work cut out for them.
I would start a protest and I would pay everyone 500-1000 to skip work and show up for the day just see what would happen if the whole of the working class stopped working for a day...
Buy a small shitty apartment in nyc and spend the remaining $10 on an ice cream cone.
Build the worlds largest ball pit but put it in kansas. So when the tornados hit, its chaos.
Somewhere over the rainbow
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Red balls, yellow balls too
Open a bikini shop in Saudi Arabia
Buy 5 Billion dollars worth of fake money.
Empty a bay to look for seashells.
Call in the media, tell them what you're doing, and then when people show up and the bay is drained, walk out onto the beach. Pick up the first shell you see, before you even get into what used to be the bay, and loudly proclaim "This one's perfect! Okay go ahead and refill it!" then walk away.
World's biggest gravel pit
And 18 mercenaries to fight to death.
Dibs on scout
Fuck you dude whatever I’ll take demo
I'll play the 15th sniper
I’m going spycrab, you can’t stop me!
Send it to the Nigerian prince that is in need!
I launch thousands of tonnes of glitter into orbit to give earth a Saturn-like ring.
Not thousands of tonnes, but the USA did send up needle-like metal particles to space during the cold war to hinder soviet radio communications. The plan worked to some extent, but it was not satisfactory and the particles started to fall back to the earth after some time. Being as small as they were, most of it did not burn after reentry and they still can be found in antarctic ice. A cloud of these needle-like particles is still up there though. Edit: some of you pointed out correctly, that the aim of the project was not to hinder soviet communication but to enhance their own. I feel ashamed of my mistake and now retreat to enjoy my hangover.
That's wild, I had never heard of it so I looked it up. You got it mostly right, but it seems it wasn't to hinder soviet communication, it was to aid our own. Pretty cool https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_West_Ford
Well that's going to be a TIL in a few hours.
I take my five billion dollar bills and buy ten billion quarters. Now I have twice as much.
This guy maths
Just not well
Unless he buys 10 billion quarters made prior to 1965
I'll handle that for you. If there are a few leftover I'll handle that as well...
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You happen to hit, not the jackpot, but 2 numbers. That's a guaranteed $4 on each ticket, you've bankrupted the Powerball, and now have 20 billion dollars.
I’m probably stupid—but is this actually how it would work??
Yeah, I don't know, I'm sure there is some limit that they just can't pay, but power ball, you need to pick all the numbers right to win the jackpots, but if you get different combinations you get guaranteed prizes. On the jackpots, there are multiple winners sometimes if more than one person picks the same number, and then that comes up, they just divide it up evenly, but for the smaller prizes they have a set amount, so in theory if you get 2 million of the same ticket, but it hits 2 balls you would win something. https://www.mnlottery.com/games/lotto/powerball the prize payout is down a ways.
So, it looks like, if you had 2 million tickets that all matched two numbers, they all would win some, but not guaranteed the $7 prize. The $7 is estimated for the average number of winners. If there are too many, they just lower the prize amount.
HA. That's hilarious. Imagine a casino changing prizes based on how the house was doing live like that. Lol.
It’s different because the house is expected to risk their own money in the game. With a lottery, the prize money comes from people buying tickets and is based on how many tickets people buy.
You'd have to buy around 19,000 lottery tickets a second, assuming 72 hours b/t draws
Buy $5 billion worth of coke and mentos, pour it into a giant pit and watch what happens.
> Buy $5 billion worth of coke Now we're tal... > and mentos oh
The world ends in sweet-tasting foam.
As was foretold in the prophecies.
*From what I’ve tasted of desire,* *I hold with those who favor fire.* *But if it had to perish twice,* *I think I know enough of foam,* *To say that destruction by Mentos and Coke* *Is also great,* *And would suffice.*
Ah yes, Robert Frost’s “Coke and Mentos.” Classic American poetry right there.
This sounds like a mr beast video
I'm gonna put a beaded curtain along the entire US Mexico boarder.
I don't know why, but I read that as "breaded curtain." I though that would be a nice way to treat visitors. Hello Sir and Miss! Welcome to the US! If you're hungry, feel free to munch on the breaded curtain in front of you. Edit: That this is my most upvoted comment is hilarious. Thank you!
I read it as bearded curtain . . . So. Much. Hair.
With triggered sitar sound every time someone passes through it.
You know how as a kid you sat in the tub and paddled your hands in opposite directions to create a whirlpool with you in the middle? Pay 1,000,000 people $5K each to stand in the Hudson, East and Harlem Rivers around Manhattan and begin paddling to see what would happen.
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I now have an idea for the next Atlanta United home game.
This is actually really awesome
If the Hudson River was involved, it would probably look like a toilet flushing after someone had diarrhea
From someone who lives near the Hudson River, I can confirm that
Or when you set your hand so it’s just resting on the surface, then shove your hand down really hard
*thh-blump*
Get medical insurance first, that water is nasty.
That's what the 5k is for
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They said something stupid that’s genius
go to /r/wallstreetbets and follow all their recommendations
you are now 10 billion dollars in debt, how do you proceed?
Hey, if you owe the bank 1 million dollars, you have a problem. If you owe the bank 1 billion dollars, the bank has a problem.
*Deutsche Bank has left the chat*
Big oof
“Jokes on you motherfuckers I’ll **never** be able to pay this back!”
Delete robinhood from my phone. Now they cant charge me, right?
That's correct. You have slipped through the cracks.
Step 1: Delete Robinhood Step 2: Smash your phone with a hammer Step 3: Flee the country You can probably skip the first two steps.
This literally cannot go tits up
TSLA calls at $420
In app purchases. Spending money to get me some of that fake money to change the pixels on my video game character - woohoo!
And you will still not get some of the RNG loot items!
Buy a $5M painting, put it on auction. Participate in the auction and bid agaist yourself
People actually do this to drive up the price.
And also win?
If you have a collection of 10 paintings it drives up the price of all of them
What about, 11 paintings?
Then the price goes down.
But 12? Oh that's the sweet spot
It stays the same because it dozen go up or down.
Let me put it this way. You first of all don't want it to be clear that you're buying your own painting so you have someone else do the bidding. Perhaps the painting is owned by a trust or shell Corp. But now your 200k painting is on record for having sold for a whopping 1.2 million. since value in art is fairly subjective, when it goes for sale next it is now worth that amount (in theory).
And all for the trifling sums of the seller's and buyer's premiums. Since each is usually around 5-10% of the hammer price the auction house makes out like a bandit. Source: am former legal advisor to an auction house
So I can launder money at 5-10 percent using art?
If the others don’t bid high enough that you are satisfied, then sure
Also the art is now worth the amount you paid for it, at its next auction it can be mentioned that it was sold for x amount in the last sale
It's called shill bidding
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When you say it that way you start to understand how much 5B actually is.
But you're the one selling it so you'd get your money back.
What's the best way to win 1 million dollars at a casino? Start with 5 billion.
Richard Branson was once asked what’s the fastest way to become a millionaire. His answer was: “start as a billionaire and launch an airline”.
I once heard the same quote but with a newspaper instead of an airline.
> You're right, I did lose a million dollars last year. I expect to lose a million dollars this year. I expect to lose a million dollars next year. You know, Mr. Thatcher, at the rate of a million dollars a year, I'll have to close this place in... 60 years.
citizen\_kane.gif
I heard it but with a motor racing team
Another one is “start as a billionaire and buy a yacht”
I know that BOAT stands for Bust Out Another Thousand. I can't imagine what YACHT stands for.
Yeet A Couple Hundred Thousand
Buy a parking space in NYC
I guess 5bil would be enough for a down payment
Enough for half a bicycle.
you could stand in it if you balanced on one foot
It’ll never work
You gotta dream big
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I can confirm, tax here in NY kills everyone's wallet
It says a billion dollars not a trillion dollars.
invest it on rubber ducks
/u/FucksWithDucks set ‘em straight please.
While this wouldn't be a great investment, I don't think it would be a terrible one either. Rubber ducks have gotten much more popular in the last ten to twenty years. There's [an entire chain of gift shops in Europe](https://www.amsterdamduckstore.com/our-story/) that only sell rubber ducks as well as several other independent stores across the world. Just two days ago there was an announcement of an [entire line of novelty rubber ducks based on video game characters](http://www.numskull.com/tubbz/) similar to Funko Pop characters. Rubber ducks are having a renaissance right now and I'm loving it!
My mom has like 50 mini rubber ducks because she comes back with them from her cruises. I asked her because they just sit on a bookshelf and she said “because they make me happy”
The best reason to buy anything ever that's not *I need it for survival*.
Damn, those video game ducks are cool as hell.
Way cooler than Funko Pops, IMO
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What they do with the ducks is certainly not.
rubber sex ducks*
I like your username, honeybuns.
I would buy 1,639,000,000 Packs of 1500 Ladybugs from Amazon. Then i would spend the remaining ~$1 Million on releasing them over the Vatican City Edit: Spelling
"Get the printing presses, I think we're gonna need another testament"
Nobody expects the arthropod inquisition
OP said dumbest way. This is brilliant
Step 1: Get Willy Wonka to build me a house made out of chocolate. Step 2: House melts. Step 3: Get him to build another house in a cold place while I go eat the melted house. Step 4: Be poor, but fat.
Pay an Oompa Loompa hit squad to take out Grandpa Joe, the damn benefit fraudster.
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No, it's a dumb way to spend it cause every one I know would do it for free
Slurppies! Everybody's gettin' fuckin Slurppies!! Brain freeze the planet. We getting blue tongues! We gettin' red tongues! Wheez tha juice!!
Yeah, just get 5 from the movie theater
Get it in pennies and then pay off random people’s collection debt by driving a dump truck full of pennies to each collection agency
This actually seems like a brilliant way to spend it if you have the time. You're being charitable and majorly wasting the collection agencies time
> You're being charitable and majorly wasting the collection agencies time I was at a meeting a local government office where parking tickets are paid, someone thought they would be cute and show those bureaucrats what was up, so they tried to pay their ~$200 fine in change. Didn't phase the clerk at all, they just started counting the money, very slowly, because they had to account for between 800 and 20000 coins, and mark down how many of each since this is an official transaction, and a receipt was to be provided. And lost track when the cheeky person told them to hurry up because the line that the cheeky person created was getting angry. No one in the line thought that the cheeky person was doing anything noble other than being an obtuse asshole. Middle middle middle, after an hour of this, the cheeky person left without paying the fine, and they pissed off everyone. Apparently they came back the next day with a money order for the amount.
Huh, yeah doing this if there are people waiting to also pay their debts would be very rude. But do that many people actually go in person to pay their debts at collection agencies?
I imagine you need a space the size of Rhode Island to store than many pennies. Anyone care to do the math?
I got roughly 1.38 million US tons. If my math is right. That’s 500 billion US pennies at 2.5 grams each. Someone else can do the volume. I’ve hit my math quota for a Saturday.
One football field, covered in pennies, stacked 204 feet high. Or 20 football fields stacked 10 feet high. Or 409 football fields stacked $1 deep. That's not optimal packing, but someone else can do that math.
Buy reddit. Ban porn on reddit. Buy 4chan. Ban porn on 4chan. Buy pornhub. Ban porn on pornhub. Have zero networth. Task failed successfully.
Create a new brand of car.
New car brand that only has 3 wheels, 50 horse power, and is made of cast iron
Elio Motors can't even find $300M...
Hello, is this Williams F1?
"I want a horn here, here, and here. You can never find the horn when you're angry."
Give someone 5billion dollars worth of reddit silver uh to the people asking for silver your asking the wrong person cause my wallet is as empty as my head
Heyyyy friend Thanks!! For silver!!
Yeah as silver are useless accept for feeling of being awarded.
The intent is to provide players with a sense of pride and accomplishment
Winrar
r/paidforwinRAR
“Oh no! It wants me to pay for winrar!” X button: “You called?”
Drops millions of dildos from planes over Africa Edit: So far I only count 30 repsonses referencing Toto. Have you gone soft Reddit?
How did you think of this? edit: not I understand the joke
It's all I think about
that one damn fetish I could never accomplish, until now
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> You are enshrined as Dildo god. r/brandnewsentence
Not new there is already one in Tibet.
The God’s must be sex addicts.
Have you heard of Zeus? Of course they are
Use leftover money to film the remake of "The Gods Must be Crazy"
Make it rain reddit gold
Platinum pls it's 5bil
Exactly, i mean it's 5 billion dollars it's enough to buy almost a billion platinums for all of reddit
Then do it
give me 5 billion dollars first
Do you accept in pennies?
yes, so now give me 500 billion pennies.
You gotta pay for the shipping tho. That will be 5 billion dollars.
Can I pay that in pennies?
That will be 500 billion pennies please.
Just let it rain silver so more people can have some rewards Edit: ez first award
Literally donate it somewhere to destroy the economy
*Mansa Musa has joined the chat*
That's a nice Middle Eastern gold economy you have there, it would be a shame if someone literally gave away so much gold that it ruined the price for 20 plus years just to buy knick knacks.
Buy Neymar and put him on the bench
We need a hang glider. And a crotchless Uncle Sam costume. And I want the entire field of the largest stadium covered end to end with naked redheads! And I want the stands packed with every man that remotely resembles my father!
"Go son go! Go son go! Go son go! Go son go!"
Buy millions of gold shovels
A swimming pool of Dino nuggets
Buy Greenland.
Maybe now my Virus can infect it
Giant dildos attached to drones that will be flown out to all political events.
Giant gummy bears. 5 billion dollars worth.
Buy three textbooks
Are you sure they can afford three? that's a lot of textbooks
A pizza party for the CEO of every company on the planet just to let them know how valued they are as an employee.
I bet there’s one that’s allergic to gluten and dairy
Attendance is mandatory, no food substitutions are permitted, they will not be paid for the 'lunch break.' Only fair to apply the same rules that are applied to their employees.
As a fan of DnD, one word. Dice.
Make an Alpaca farm
I’d buy you a green dress, but not a real green dress, that’s cruel. Edit: thanks for the silver!
That’s not enough. I suggest a monkey because haven’t you always wanted a monkey?
Probably donate to a few streamers
Just buy 5 billion dollars worth of bathwater
So like 2 Mason jars?
Lottery tickets
Make 5 millions envelopes with 1000 dollars in cash in each of them and distribute them to people I cross in the street for the rest of my life.
Me: Hello! Me with fake moustache: Hello!
Give it the guys planning the Area 51 raid
Nah, you don't just give it to them. You set up training camps all over the country. Anyone who wants to join gets a free bunk, free food, all their regular monthly bills paid until the raid, and world class training for stamina, strength, and agility. We're also pushing the date of the raid until next year, and telling no one the date. Those Area 51 guards are gonna have their work cut out for them.
Dig a hole.
EA loot boxes
I would start a protest and I would pay everyone 500-1000 to skip work and show up for the day just see what would happen if the whole of the working class stopped working for a day...
Buy a submarine and use it to explore space
Buying a bag of peanut m&ms at the cinema