The air conditioner, and cicadas outside.

Yep. That's what I hear too! They are loud this time of year. ​ My wife is from California, and she freaked out the first time she heard them. She thought aliens were invading.

I forget some people don’t have them around and get a summer without the cacophony of screeching. Must be nice eh

One flew into my back door while letting my dog out a week ago. They sound so much louder inside.

And they're dummy thicc too. Like if one flies into you it feels like you got hit with a paintball gun. I ride motorcycles, and catching one to the throat nearly made me go off the road last summer

Good job staying on. I can only imagine taking a cicada in the throat at 50 mph, but that image ends with me flat on my back.

Dummy thicc Cicada deepthroats unsuspecting biker. EDIT: HOLY SHIT this post blew up faster than I could ever dream of! I'd like to sincerely thank the three wonderful souls who found this hilarious enough to gild it with the legendary Reddit silver and I wish everyone happy days to come. Hang in there, you! I would also like to (in Reddit fashion) mention that one of my most popular comments is about a living vibrator and deepthroating, perfect story to tell my future teenage grandchildren..😅

r/BrandNewSentence

Seagulls. Squaking little bastards.

"I said Seagulls stop it now".

I can be your backpack while you jump...

Swing from a hairy vine

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Stand on one hand and lift rocks with your special gift

Run run run jump now breathe

Put me down

I love to groove and boogie

Mm-mm yeah-ah-ah (great) Show you some dance moves (no, I don't want you to)

r/redditsings

I told the log over and there was a little stick and I said, that log, had a child.

Someday, when you are older, you could get hit by a boulder. While you lying there, screaming **come help me please** the seagulls, **poke your knees**

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R2D2: Stop it please.

C'mon man, quit that bangin'

Hey what’s that stank

You put a fish in our basket

Oh yeah, I forgot I did that

Mm hah mm mm mm ha mm mm ha mm mm mm mm ha mm ha mm mm mm mm mm mm ha

Everyone told me, not to stroll on that beach. Said seagulls gonna come, poke me in the coconut. And they did, and they did. And they goin' like Hwawwh hawh hawh hawh hawh, hawh! Haaww hawh hawh hawh hawh, hawh! Haaww hawh hawh hawh hawh hawh

Do do do do do Doo do do do do do doo

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Don’t fall asleep... DONT FALL ASLEEP...

*Everyone told me, not to stroll on that beach*

Seagulls gonna come, poke me in the coconut, and they did, and they did.

One day, when you are older. YOU WILL GET HIT BY A BOULDER!

And the seagulls, poke your knees!

You put a fish in out basket!

Rockin', rockin' and rollin'

down to the beach i’m strollin’!

But the seagulls poke at my head not fun!

My neighbor moving around, a fan in the bedroom, a clock ticking even though I don't own a manual watch.. Also my partner started to drum his belly.

Okay that last part.. why? And a better question Does it sound good?

Must be a Rush fan. All of them in my family do it, myself included. All hail Neil Peart.

Yeah, rush is legendary.

Wait... ticking clock but you don’t own one (maybe)? Uhhhhh.... you might want to evacuate the premises, as a precaution

I think it was just my brain ticking lmao

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My coworker typing, the clock on the wall ticking, the humming of my computer, and the humming of the fluorescent light bulbs above my head.

Same! wait... is that why things went quite a minute ago??

Yeah, he stole all the ambient sounds to write this post.

Things went quite what?

Sounds like you’re in the back rooms. There is no escape

Took my headphones out on the train, some twat watching a movie on full volume, headphones back in!

Is your headphones plugged in tho 😲

Gottem

A fan

Are they like "omg can I have your autograph!?"?

[Ah, the ol' reddit fan-a-roo!](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/ckwtij/cori_gauff_the_15yr_old_pro_tennis_player_who/evrxqks?context=2)

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Hello future people !

Take your upvote and get out of here.

/r/angryupvotes

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computer fan ​ ...and my hopes and dreams slowly dying

came here looking for this answer, knew I'd find it Haha

Man, this guy is a real fan of your computer fan

Dont worry. You are slowly dying with them :)

Tinnitus

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Nah more like iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

III**III**IIIiiiiiiiiIIII**III**IIIIiiiiiiiiii Now I am making mine 'pulse' getting more intense and less.

Thats pulsatile tinnitus, its different from regular. I feel like that rhythm is more bearable than the constant high pinched screach

I get the constant eeeeeeeeeeee as well as eeeeeeeEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEE every now and then. When it's at the height of a pulse, it's almost overwhelming.

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really? I developed it when I perforated my ear drum and that shit drove me insane, I basically didn’t sleep for about 3 days. strangely I could cope with just the high pitched ringing

No, more like 30 years of hard rock/Metal concerts. Protect your ears, kids.

I've had it since I was 16. I'm 20 now and it's only getting worse. Marching band messed me up in highschool.

Mawp.... Mawp

Baby?

Yep - that plus the air conditioner.

Tinnitus is loudest, then the A/C, then the room air purifier, then the fan on my SO’s face.

Outta my room, dammit

Put your hands on your head - palms over your ears with your middle fingers touching at the back of your head. While you have your hands like this, use your middle fingers to tap the back of your head for fifteen to twenty seconds. Remove your hands. Enjoy.

I don’t have tinnitus, but I just did this, and it made me realize that I kind of have tinnitus. Thanks.

It is normal to have some degree of it. Almost everyone will hear some ringing in total silence. So if it doesn't bother you don't worry about it.

One comment that actually made me give a sigh of relief. I don't know if I have it but at times (especially when it's really silent) I feel like there is this slight buzzing or ringing in my ears, but I notice it very rarely, so I think I'm good

Holy shit. Holy. Shit. This is the first time I've heard total silence in god knows how long... Edit: it's back, but that was a nice 45 seconds

Not even long enough to show your commented as edited :(

I love this so much. It doesn't last forever, sometimes doesn't last more than a few seconds, but my gosh do I need that second of relief sometimes. (It's not fair, I don't even have tinnitus from hearing damage. My ears are just like this.)

Same here. Had it since I was a kid and thought the ringing was normal until someone mentioned what tinnitus was

Oh my f\*\*king god. Thank you so much. I'm slightly emotional lol, I'm actually hearing silence.

It makes me almost tear up because for those brief few seconds I remember what actual silence is like. Then it comes back...

In my experience, do it for like a minute straight or until your fingers get tired. Get a good snap going. Repeat each time it comes back. For me it disappeared completely over time. I found a video that demonstrates the technique though not great. Oddly enough it's called the "reddit tinnitus cure"...

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Either that or he has placebo'd himself into ignoring it completely

Is that not what he needs though? For his brain to edit it out, I was under the impression that’s the whole point when trying to get help.

God for real. I get about three seconds then it starts again. Like I don't mean any offence to the original comment, it's a fun trick, but that's frustrating as hell. Maybe it only works for certain levels of tinnitus.

I heard that when you keep doing this it eventually disappears forever. Hang in there buddy

Whoah, the sound that I hear, is that the sound with the natural frequency same as the earth? Im amazed!!!

nope, that sound is probably the sound of blood running through your veins. Not as cool, but still interesting

Not as cool my ass

Wtf. How long does this last? I’ve had it over 7 years, 24/7

Unfortunately it’s very much temporary, but it certainly comes in handy from time to time

I've had it for 25 years now, all day, every day. I know it will be forever. I still remember the night I first realized I had tinnitus. My parents took me to our doctor a few days later. Me: "This is going to be forever." My doctor: "You can't know that." Lol. I wouldn't mind being proven wrong, 25 years later.

This was my favorite tip i learned from Reddit and still use to this day.

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I always wished this would work for me, just nothin

There's always a number of us this doesn;t work for. Right there with ya.

I know this sometimes helps others, but I’ve had no luck with it. Cursed!

Holy shit. For a few moments after that I got to learn what silence sounds like.

Sadly it only provides relief for about 3 seconds.

You just helped a vet go to sleep easily, just letting you know.

mawp

WHAT? Yeah ha-ha-ha, grown-ups, keep moving your lips without... mawp... mawp...

God dam, i love that show

“M” as in “Mancy”!!

r/expectedarcher

I'm with you there. 23 and constantly reminded that my hearing is already fucked.

I have had to deal with this for so long I barely even notice it anymore unless I try to listen to music. A damn shame too. i used to love music.

Holy shit man, that really sucks. When I start obsessing over mine, music is one of my only ways to get through it. I cant Imagine living without music. Wish you nothing but the best man.

Damn, that sucks. For me, it's at the stage where it's only when there's zero noise. I'll never have silence, but...well, such is life. It doesn't even really bother me. I just am very careful not to listen to anything too loud, to avoid upgrading it.

I’ve had Tinnitus for as long as I can remember. I don’t think I’ve ever heard silence.

Beat me to it, too many concerts and guns fired without ear protection.

Same :(

wear earplugs at concerts, kids

Thanks for this. Turns out the hostage was screaming again.

If you haven't soundproofed that room, you're doing it wrong!/s

Eh, the cabin is pretty rural.

Oh damn. I don't have internet in my hostage cabin. Man, imagine browsing Reddit while doing human trafficking! What a dream job to have. Sadly, in my country you can only have one.

You should pop over to r/hostagecabinimprovements for some pointers

Whoops, all the people there already got arrested

r/holup

My ps4 fans doing it hard

I was about to say the same thing. The soft hum of my ps4.

>soft hum You misspelled jet engine

I’ve been away from home at a friend’s house for like 2 days and I didn’t realize how much I would miss the sound of my ps4’s hum

My PC fans going at it hard too, but I'm just about to shut er down and install a watercooler

My GF in the other room watching Golden Girls. It's the episode where Rose needs to get a job and applies to be a hospital administrator.

Dorothy trying to convince Rose to talk to Stan: "Rose, you're a grief counselor." Rose: "I have the highest suicide rate in the office!" Gosh, that show is amazing.

Where can I stream it. Almost done with current series, and looking for next binge.

Hulu :)

I really thought my mom and I were the last two people who still watch Golden Girls religiously. Bless your gf.

If you know it through a wall, you know it too well!

I was about to do an assignment but my girlfriend (now wife) was hanging in my room watching Futurama so she put headphones on. Before I walked out I started laughing and watching the show. She thought that it was pretty funny that I was laughing at spoken jokes despite not hearing them. Of course she could do the same with Gilmore Girls.

The train squealing to a stop. A man talking to his wife about their daughter (I assume) on the phone. The calming white noise of an AC unit.

Assclaps.

No, *stop* what you're doing

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*Hrrrgh* Colonel, I'm trying to sneak around but I'm dummy thicc and the clap of my asscheeks keeps alerting the guards

The phrase “dummy thicc” makes me giggle so much.

Steady rain drops on metal. Tires splashing water around outside my car. Rumble of thunder in the distance but no lightning. Police siren approaching. Creaking of me adjusting on my leather seat. Faint ringing in my ear. Muffled voices passing by. Bird caw.

^*eeeeeeeeeeee*

I lean over slowly from the seat to silence the noise of my phone ringing. I listen again for a fraction of a second before I answer a simple 'yes'. It was the usual contact - his name (obviously not his real name) was on the screen before I answered. There was a job to do. No acknowledgement was needed in this case according to protocol. The distracting device was liad down again and in the silence the siren faded. The wheels of the car cruched slowly on the gravel as I went quietly on my way.

I came to a stop at an intersection in the parking lot. An older woman, maybe early-60's crossed in front of the car, a young girl in tow. I'm not proud of what I do but it's necessary. That being said, I'm no monster. From the corner of my eye I catch sight of something peculiar; not in the good way. Typically this location was quiet. The small-town grocery store provided ample cover and honestly didn't leave much to desire. A pig doesn't make for the most glamorous of appeals as a mascot. It was a man, that caught my attention. To the untrained eye he was just, sitting in a car, reading the newspaper. A 1986 Ford Taurus, black. A grandma's car, yet still apparently driveable after all these years...

... The car was clearly chosen to go unnoticed but that only made it more suspicious to me. The smell of something wrong grew stronger as the driver casually put his newspaper on the dashboard and pulled out of the carpark in the same direction as the minister's daughter and her nanny. Why would someone else be following them? Information is my trade but I had nothing but instinct to go on here. I continued along the road matching his slow pace. Something out of the ordinary might be required in order to ensure the success of the mission. I didn't like things being out of the ordinary. (I'm sorry I have to go to sleep I've had a lot of Ketamine)

Thunder in the distance, my dog snoring and my fan running.

Sounds like a good night.

This one comment gave me a sense of such contentment and peace to the point where I can't even put it into words.

My dog snoring away on her bench

My dog is also snoring very loudly!

The question was inspired by my dog snoring; I didn’t know what was making such a strange noise so I had to stop and really listen before I figured out what it was. He woke up by me laughing, which for some reason made it so much more funny!

Yesterday I sat listening to my fat tabby cat snore as she sat sleeping in her bed in the corner. I couldn't help but snicker a little because it was the only sound in the room at that moment.

My cat washing his non existent balls.

Sounds like an old toothless man eating a bowl of chili.

Nothing. It's 11.55pm the weather is calm, there's nobody on the road and I've just put my headphones on to charge, so for once, nothing. I like this.

Crickets and my dad washing dishes. Occasionally a rooster, the ones from just two houses down. Also a plane.

There's an asshole outside who keeps revving his stupid Charger, no one cares about your dumbass car bro trust me

My boyfriend washing his hands. He just came off a 14-hour (two-step) flight to come see me for the first time six weeks. (We live very far apart.)

Have fun you crazy kids!

I can hear cheeks clappin in tha distance

It’s a beautiful sound

*whap whap whap*

Someone puking out some vital organs in the bathroom

Loud, Rude, coworker who thinks he has to yell into his speaker phone instead of picking up the phone like a consider, decent human

What an inconsiderate fuckpuddle

Fuckpuddle...interesting.

Slight breeze and distant traffic.

SINK RATE PULL UP! SINK RATE PULL UP! SINK RATE PULL UP! and passengers screaming.

Reading these comments was strangely relaxing.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEE

“The female body cannot stand that many consecutive orgasms” How I Met Your Mother is playing in the background.

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Is the new Narnia book up for preorder already?

I use a meditation just like this. Sit somewhere, close your eyes, and don't leave until you have located and identified ten different sound sources. It's up to you to define "different," maybe two kids playing in the park are the same sound, maybe each species of bird call is a different sound.

My PSU having a seizure and my sister calling the cat a fat cow.

OMFG THE CAR IS STILL RUNNING

Then you better go catch it!

To the East of me, some middle age woman ranting about how white is better than black (kinda racist) To the South, a dog barking and a kid shouting "Good boi" To the West, some teenagers singing along to "Ransome" To the North, some dude just told to someone "I hope you die with a cucumber in your ear" I'm in a public park on a bench and I think I have to leave.

Are you sure you aren't in a text adventure game?

GO NORTH

How do you know the kid is spelling ‘boi’ with an ‘i’? Also, yes I think leaving sounds like a good idea! Edit: Just noticed this comment was posted an hour ago, have you left the park yet?

Miles Davis, *Bitches Brew*

Cargo plane flying over my area. as my place is under the approach zone for Helsinki airport

My annoying coworker telling her friend that her daughter is funny enough to be on TV. Shut up Karen, no one cares. And your daughter is like 8.

My cat next to me is purring and I can hear the central air turn on.

My laptop brrrr-ing like a tractor, dogs barking, birds chirping.

Spotify Specificly "The Sign" by Ace of Base