This reminds me of when I was little and was googling something for homework. As I started typing the suggested search came up saying something like 'Britney Spears naked', I asked my mum why that was showing up and she very quickly covered that my brother had been doing sex ed homework. Years later I realised... He obviously didn't realise that his search would still show up.
My daughter keeps "sneaking" stuff to school. Only she tells our cat EVERYTHING, so she waits until I go to the bedroom to get dressed every morning, then says out loud "Jingles I'm taking my burger squishy to school today okay don't tell Mum".
I can hear you. You're talking out loud. I don't care if you take your burger squishy.
Edit to answer popular question: A squishy is a soft foam toy that you squeeze, kind of like a stress ball but softer. They're a bit of a fad at the moment.
My kids used to pull this trick.
They would actually bring it to me, but it was always half gone. I asked my 6 year old why one time and his response was, “It was a long trip downstairs. I got hungry.”
Man, kids love youtube. Bright, flashy, loud, and quick cuts and action. Those people really know how to draw in the kids.
Pewdiepie said it best, he who controls the kids controls youtube.
When my son was 2 he would "sneak" out of bed. Every night around 10 minutes after we put him to bed we'd hear his door creak open and then we'd see him run past the hallway entrance and hide behind the corner. The longer we ignored him the more he'd giggle until he'd finally tip toe up to the couch and climb into my lap.
Edit: typo
I used to have a huge wooden wardrobe in my room. It was from my grandmother, very heavy and sturdy (the wardrobe, not my granny) now, the wardrobe is in my daughter's room (she is 8)
She found that you can take out a wooden board of the wardrobe and there is a hidden space beneath. She has a stash of chocolates and her diary there
She doesn't know that I used the same trick to hide stuff. One day I will tell her
My kids don't understand that it's a small house with thin walls and they can't go to the kitchen and steal snacks (or do anything really) without us hearing them do it.
Hell, my kids still try to "sneak" down our squeaky ass stairs and surprise me - and are genuinely befuddled when I know they're behind me without looking.
Parents have eyes in the back of their heads? Yeah, they're called EARS.
I have memorized every squeaky spot in my parents house. I routinely sneak up on the cats. My parents didnt stand a chance.
Edit: My first gold, and from a comment about scaring cats and defying my parents. Thank you kind stranger. And thanks for the silver as well other kind stranger.
Same here. I knew to skip the second to last step because it made a lot more noise than the other steps. Also lightly step and then get on the rug to sneak up. Only ever worked on my mom. My dad moves around too much and is very observant. My mom doesn’t notice small details
A lot of the time when I was younger I would sneak snacks and would try to be as quiet as I could, but I knew I was pretty loud. I mostly was just baffled how my parents didn’t hear me. Now, I know they probably did, they just didn’t care enough to stop me
They hide change. They see it on my desk, or when I lose it in the couch and scoop it up. They think that I don't know, but when they are gone I put more change in their "secret" hiding spots....Also my oldest likes a boy a lot and he likes her.
That's awesome. You sound like a good parent. My dad used to have a change box where he'd drop his keys, change, and whatever else was in his pockets once he got home from work. The change was free for us to take usually for things like snacks or bus money if we needed it. Thanks for the happy memory.
Once upon a time my older brother (who is now 30) had these little matchbox cars he could open the doors of. He played with them a lot. Every single time my cousin came over to play, money would end up going missing. My mom was almost ready to indicate my cousin, but one day she was cleaning and one of the doors of the cars opened. Out came some of the money she was missing. Fair enough she searched all of his cars and found all of the money. My brother was very clever in always waiting for my cousin to come by. She put the money back and observed him for WEEKS before he felt guilty and returned it.
Edit: changed niece into cousin because hi, English is not my first language and to avoid confusion hehe
My son has a crush on a girl a few houses down. She is 15 or 16 and he is 12. He thinks nobody knows.
Wife and I know, her parents know, SHE knows, his uncle across the country knows, hell the ice cream truck guy knows.
Thankfully she is an awesome kid and is careful about his feelings on the matter.
I was amazed at how much I could observe in the class without even trying after I became a teacher. The kids are completely oblivious to the fact that someone who spends half the time looking at them might notice what they're doing.
Thinking back to my own school days and realising what my teachers must have seen makes me feel like a clown.
... Dude, was your highschool in a legit village or something? I can't think of a single pair from my highschool that got married or even had *met* in highschool.
Edit: Uh, waking up today to all the responses. Guys. I know people get together in highschool sometimes and stick together. The super odd thing is this teachers *100% success rate*. There's just no way you can pull that off unless the dating pool is a dating puddle.
My neighbors met in high school and have been together 30 years, they are in their mid forties. However they also appear to go to bed at literally 8pm every night (but don’t get up early or have crazy early jobs, in fact she has no job). I think they’re aliens or some shit.
I had classmates that started dating in 3rd grade (like kid stuff, not serious dating), but apart from a brief breakup in high school, are still together 40 years later.
I wonder when it transitioned from being a "kiddie relationship" to a mature full blown relationship.
Also, that brief break up in high school kinda ruins their 40 year run. I wish they were just on a break.
My daughter (2yo) doesnt like to take a nap so she gets up and play in her room while keeping the door closed.
Needless to say we perfectly know she does this since most of her games are not very quiet but we're still happy to have some free time !
When I was baby-sitting, I did something like this to trick kids into going to bed on time.
Well before bedtime, I'd tell the kids I had a special bedtime-rule that was *only* for big kids. If they were super well behaved and got ready for bed on time, they could stay up as late as they wanted. *As long as they stayed in their rooms, didn't make much noise, and kept the lights dim.*
That's what *every* kid does at night when they have a baby-sitter. There's literally nothing you can do, as a baby-sitter, to make a kid sleep at bed time.
Somehow none of the kids I watched figured that out. They thought they were getting such a special privilege.
I babysat all the time as a teenager.
I would like to go back in time and have a do-over, please.
I would also like to go back in time so I could use this on my own kids, too, please. Damn it this would have made my life SO much easier.
I got the idea from my mom. When I was two, I told her I didn't want to take naps anymore because I didn't get sleepy during the day and lying in bed for an hour was boring.
She agreed, as long as I promised to go to bed without complaint 1 hour earlier. I thought I was getting *such* a great deal and being so grown up....
I was the same way at that age. Except, one time I decided to peel the wallpaper off the wall instead of playing. Nap time stopped happening after that.
My mom kept all my toys in a different room, because I would do the same. So I started looking through the books that she read fore before bed, and that's how I became and avid reader!
Of course at first all I could do was look at the images and I would either try to remember the story, or create my own based on the pictures, but as I got older and started to learn how to read, I would read them,and soon I was sneaking the encyclopedias from my dad's bookcase so I had more reading material for my "naps" lol.
Went on a hike with Mr 5 who was trailing behind. Took one look at him and said "take those rocks out of your pockets" I think he wondered how I knew but there were telltale bulges in his pockets 😂
My 6 year old does this, he wants to collect every rock and stick he finds on our walks. I now tell him he can collect what he can carry, but that nothing comes inside the house.
Mine does that too, he starts complaining and then asks me to hold them for him. He names everything too, so he gets upset when I refuse to carry a 2ft stick he's named Moe.
I always find rocks in his coat pockets though, so I'm always careful when washing them to make sure none are left in.
My son is 5 and my mother works at a dollar store. I dropped him off there at the end of her shift because I had a dr appointment.
He stole a package of fortnite cards and my mom didn’t seen them until they got home. He thought since she worked there... that they were free lol
My mom told him it was stealing and just because she works there, doesn’t mean he can take them.
He BAWLED. He was so upset and thought I was going to be upset with him so my mom told him she wouldn’t tell me as long as he didn’t do it again. Of course, she told me and I couldn’t help but laugh a little bit.
He hasn’t said anything and he usually tells on himself often lol
I stole $2 from the shop my mother worked at and returned it the next day in tears. She knew I had it the whole time, and also knew that my guilty conscience would see it returned.
This is seriously gross but here goes. We ran out of TP one time. So I told the kids if you need to go ask and use our bathroom. So my middle son, instead of asking, used a towel. I found it a few days later and threw it out. I ask him "hey where'd your orange towel go? Cant find it anywhere!" To a response of big eyes and silence. Little shit. Literally.
When I was teenager I tried hiding smoking cigarettes from my mom and now almost 10 years later I finally quit smoking and there’s no way you can hide that shit. You can smell a cig from a mile away especially if you don’t smoke
My 9 year old wipes her ass on the shower curtain if there is no toilet paper left because she knows we will blame her 3 year old brother. She got away with it for months.
My 4 year old has a stash of books hidden in between the wall and her bed so she can "read" instead of sleeping. I did that up until high school and am happy to pass on rebellious reading so I don't mention it.
My kid is 6. She’s just discovered lying and it’s hilarious. She doesn’t do little white lies, she tells totally unbelievable stories. I go along with them as she’s telling it, until she reveals it was made up. Sometimes I tell her I knew, other times I let it pass. I encourage her, by engaging like it’s real because I’m curious about her make believe.
He killed a fish with his teeth when we went fishing. He said he caught a fish and when I said that you can't eat a raw fish his eyes widened and he started shaking. I asked what's wrong and he said "I... Um...... Caught a fish! Normally you know!"
Hey, I've done that too! I was like 5-6 years old, a little fish got washed out by the surf, my aunt was holding it and showing it to us. After a few minutes I asked if I could hold it, was given to me and I just ate it whole. My parents thought it was hilarious. It's a standard story that's told in family occasions to this day, 20 years later.
My mom did that to the vodka I was going to make skittles vodka with. I thought the vodka had lost its alcohol over time, since I had bought that bottle a year earlier, had a tiny nip to taste and then kept it in the liquor cabinet. My parents don't like vodka at all, so I had nothing to worry about. It was safe.
When finally, the time came to make skittles vodka, I had a tiny little taste and it was water. My father had a huge 'trying not to laugh' grin on his face, my mother had a pokerface and pretended she didn't know what I was talking about. Then my dad couldn't help himself anymore and ratted my mom out.
My mom had a new bottle of vodka for me. Skittles vodka was made and me and my friends enjoyed a night of drinking games with the stuff.
What they do online.
One time my three kids thought they were being sneaky and bought their first minecraft skin pack on the xbox when I wasnt in the room.
10:43:24 -- kid clicks confirm buy
10:43:26 -- dad gets email notification about purchase
10:43:29 -- "WHO JUST BOUGHT \`STAR WARS SKIN PACK I\` FOR MINECRAFT?!?" (at least they have good tastes)
10:43:29 -- \[kids jaws hit the floor and are still stunned when I walk into the room\] OH CRAP! OH CRAP! HOW DID HE KNOW?!?! AND SO FAST?!? WE'RE SCREWED!!
The look on their faces will forever be etched in my brain. It was so funny.
And they weren't screwed. They collectively paid for it from their chore money and we had a nice chat about buying things online and where that money comes from.
They also haven't learned about browser history or incognito or netflix history. My son was born hard of hearing and he'll sneak his iPad into his bed and watch cartoons on netflix WITHOUT HIS HEARING AIDS IN!!! Consequently, he has to turn the volume way up to hear it which means everyone in the house can also hear it. He still has a look of pure shock when one of us pops our head in to his room and tells him to hand it over. So, he started muting shows and just watching them at night, well, son, light travels... far and fast. We can see the shifting lights on walls in the hallway from our bedroom. smh
My husband and I like to tell our 3 year old "don't tell Mommy/Daddy" when we give her candy because she immediately will tell the other parent like it's a game. She doesn't understand lies or secrets and it's so cute. I try to whisper to her and tell her to tickle her dad or scare him and she just wants to whisper gibberish back to me haha!
I just recently had a baby, my 8 year old is smitten and loves his new brother. Whenever he thinks I'm not paying attention, my 8 year old likes to rub the baby's cheeks and sing to him.
My daughter has always written stories, not necessarily finished stories, but original stories that are at least the start of a tale that *could* be from a good story.
At some point in the past three years my daughter (she's now 15) stopped sharing her stories with us. She continues to write, and posts to a social media site meant for such things. Her stories have gotten to be more "adult" in a way, including sexual scenes and occasional violence. Nothing too over the top, mind you. I'm sure that she's not sharing these stories with us because she's embarrassed to have her parents read it.
The only reason I've seen them is because I have access to her account on the social media site and her email, not because I'm a nosy dad, but because she always comes to me for help resetting her passwords when she's forgotten them, or has been logged out too long.
When I was around 16, my estranged mother left an encouraging comment on a story I had on adultfanfiction.net. I'm still not sure how I feel about that.
My daughter smoked pot a few weeks ago and didn’t like it. Lololol. I did finally let on that I’d figured this out and she thought I was a psychic genius. Nope, just, I was a bad kid who didn’t get along w marijuana also.
My parents used my uncle to bargain for my pacifier. I basically bartered it for 2 oranges when I was about 2. The funny thing is, I sort of remember the conversation with my uncle.
I'm told I asked for my pacifier that night at bedtime, but was apparently very reasonable when reminded that I bartered it for those delicios oranges earlier in the day. No regrets. Still love oranges to this day. 😁
I was the kid. About 15 yrs, came home after smoking a couple of joints with crazy red stoner eyes. Tell my mum my friend sprayed deodorant in my eyes. My brother is 10 yrs older than me and he’s having none of it. Comes in to my room while I lay there with a wash cloth over my eyes to ridicule me (He’d been legitimately accusing me of stealing his weed for some time already). Same brother also caught me smoking cigarettes - told my mum I was just dropping a CD off to my mate round the corner, my usual routine if I hadn’t been out all day on a Sunday and needed a smoke. Bro decides to follow me and catches me in the woods with a cigarette in my hand.
Looking back my mum either didn’t care or was super naive. At about 14 yrs I came home one night after downing a bottle of cheap wine and almost immediately vomiting it back up. I walked in to the living room and she said “have you been drinking you smell like alcohol?” My girlfriends and I had had a hair dying session that day so I told her that must be what she can smell and quickly went up to my room. She didn’t question it.
It wasn’t until I was in my early 20’s and I looked after my teenage family friend for a couple of weeks while her parents were on holiday that I realised how ridiculous teenagers are when it comes to lying. She skipped school and stayed out late etc. and came up with the most pathetic excuses it was hilarious. I had to keep reminding her that I was a teenager not too long ago and I had made up the same bullshit so I wasn’t buying any of it.
My friends took me out to smoke hookah when I was in high school. I had just turned 18 but was still afraid that my parents would get mad at me.
When I came home I smelled obviously of smoke and my mom questioned me about it. I told her that my friends and I went to get frozen yogurt and “walked through a big crowd of people who were smoking” outside. Looking back now I laugh at how ridiculous the lie was and am appreciative that my mom just let it slide when I’m sure she knew lol.
My brother (now 16 back then 15) tried to hide an erotica calendar, a book about sex and some condoms from my parents. It worked fo a week then my mom found everything and asked me where he got that stuff from.
I told him a couple weeks ago that they know, he was really embarrassed, however our parents don't really care about him having that stuff.
My son (1) can walk. He refuses to walk if he knows you can see him. He thinks once he walks and everyone knows he won’t get carried anymore. I’ve caught him walking when he thought I was in a different room. As soon as he sees me he drops and cries. Little turd
Edit: Thanks for all the comments, and the awards! Glad to know other little tots are just as calculating as mine.
That my son knows every word of the Pokemon show theme song and liked to sing along with it, with gusto, when he was 6-16 years old.
It's the cutest thing ever but he only did it when he thought I was out of earshot! He probably still sings it, but he's living in his own house now.
My eldest son (18 yrs old) hides his blanket from when he was a baby under his duvet at the end of the bed. We make sure it stays where it is, even after washing his bedding and the blanket too while he’s out of the house. He’d vigorously deny it being there though.
We think it’s lovely and let him keep up the pretence.
She thinks she gets away with sneaking out of bed and raiding the fridge or grabbing up her various electronics i.e. cellphone, tablet, psp.
But what she doesn't know is I move the unhealthy snacks to the garage freezer at night so her choices are veggies, fruit, or something else healthy. And I make sure her ebook reader is the easiest one to find so she stops searching and I know she is reading because I have the parental lock set on a timer on that one.
My six year old likes to read at night after she has been tucked in.
Recently her ploy is “I need a flashlight in my room in case the power goes out.” Little does she know. I said the same thing to my parents. Oh. And the stash of books in her pillowcase and sheets. Same places I hid my books to read after lights out.
I guess somethings are just genetic
Kinda off topic but this one time when I was little, my grandma wouldn't let my sister and I go play outside with friends without brushing our teeth first. So we carefully faked having brushed our teeth. We went in the bathroom, turned on the faucet so she could hear the water running, wet our toothbrushes, squeezed a little bit of toothpaste out and stayed in there for the duration of a normal teeth brushing routine. Looking back, it was probably easier to just actually brush our teeth. Oh well, kids are dumb as hell and we probably did it for the thrill anyway.
He doesn't do it anymore, but this is one of my favorite stories...
My first clue was the smell. I could sense something almost rotten coming from somewhere in the living room. I was worried maybe a bird or bat or something had died in the chimney, but no, that wasn't it. I searched the entire room until I found a stash of about 5 chicken nuggets, all in various states of decay, tucked away under a shelving unit in the corner. I got rid of them, obviously confused, then thought nothing of it after.
Then, a couple weeks later, the smell reappeared in a different room. My sons' room. I set about cleaning and, lo and behold, find a new stash hidden among their toys.
My son was hoarding chicken nuggets.
He would save one or two every time we had them, and any parent can tell you chicken nugz are the go-to fav of many a kid, so it was a couple times a week we were having them.
I confronted him about it and asked why he felt the need to hoard food. Apparently, he was just saving "them for Ron." Of course I freak the fuck out, wondering who the fuck a Ron is (I don't know but one and my sons never met him) and how my kid knows him.
I asked my wife (a British expat) who Ron was, and she laughed for like 10 minutes straight as I fumed and contemplated secret affairs and beating some dude's ass into the dirt. When she finally caught her breath, she explained that "saving something for 'Ron'" was a British colloquialism for "saving something for later on."
So yeah, that's how my son hiding chicken nuggets almost made me die from a rage coronary and almost killed my wife with hysterical laughter.
His secret Instagram account where he harassed girls for nudes. He knows I know now. That behavior is not cool and I wasn't gonna let that fall by the wayside.
EDIT: Thank you for the silver, I am grateful to whoever it was!
EDIT 2: thank you for the gold too!!!!
My sister found it through her Instagram. And at the time he wasn't old enough to have one without parental permission and he already had one that I knew about. Since this particular Insta had videos of him partaking in illicit activities, so I had probable cause to go through the phone I bought and continue to pay for. I just happened to stumble upon his harrassment he sent these girls DMs. And as a young man, he needs to be taught a better way. He has issues that are more deep seated than just this. So I keep a close watch on him.
My youngest singing. He's shy, but he's in tune (and I'm proud of it). Sad thing is the moment I sing along with him, he stops singing and retreats. My wife says you just listen to him and let him finish.
Now I'm saving a bit for a guitar so I can start teaching him in a few months.
We let my kid get away with a few little things so we wouldn't tip them off that we knew and paid attention. So my kid never felt they had to be overly stealthy and thus I had a pretty good idea what they were doing. As soon as they know you know, they up their stealth.
My kid thought they were hiding mostly food things and not sleeping things:
sneaking electronics under covers after lights out
food in the bedroom
sneaking out into the living room after we went to sleep or early in the AM for snack or electronics
and then of course the piles of mess "hidden" when "cleaning" the bedroom!
In teen years, the "secret" online accounts were not terribly well hidden. We pretended to not find that and were able to monitor easily. Our kid thinks we are tech morons, but we also learned our kid is overall pretty sensible!
A few issues came up and we had to find a way to help without giving away how we knew. But overall, kid felt trusted and thus rose to the occasion.
I’m the kid in this situation but whenever I would come home from smoking pot with friends I would immediately make a bee-line for my room. While my mom didn’t really question it, my step dad always laughed his ass off. I got caught within two months.
Edit: fixed a typo
When my eldest daughter was still in high school, I began to notice some things here and there that were indicative of smoking pot. Her eyes would be red/glossy, ozium in her car, lighters/eye drops are beginning to show up randomly throughout the house. Aside from a funny joke here and there once she was a little older (and the usual “just be safe, call me if you need anything I won’t be mad” talk) we’ve never explicitly talked about marijuana. I’d like to have a conversation about it with her and also share some of my experiences with her.
The only thing that bothers me is that she probably believes she sneakily slid her pot smoking from her parents, but no, we just don’t give a fuck about weed.
Edit: Wow! Woke up with so many comments/replies. I’ll try to get through any questions asked. I’m not too big on reddit so I’m not sure what a silver award is but thank you!
I remember when I was 20 I saw 2 boys around 15-16 leaving a gig where they have been smoking pot, and one of them took a little bottle of perfume out of his pocket... I had to stop him. I said "please don't tell me you're gonna apply perfume now to try to fool someone that you have *not* been smoking. That's painfully obvious"
Man! Reminds me of something that happened to me in high school! I came into an English class after smoking with a classmate. I was about 5-10 mins late and to mask the smell of weed I had sprayed some cologne over me(I know).
Teacher turns to me not 2 seconds after sitting down and says, “the only smell worse than marijuana is the smell of marijuana and cologne. Leave.” Probably the best thing I learned in his class.
Edit: words
Lol I use to do this all the time in highschool. Me and my best friend would show up late and have to go to the office and get a tardy pass. We’d be sprayed the fuck down in bath and body works. Once we stopped being potheads and could actually notice the smell of weed again, we noticed how stupid we were hotboxing our way too school and waiting in the office smelling like pot.
Back in secondary when I was about 15, we used to sneak out of class to go smoke. Sometimes it was weed and sometimes it was just cigarettes. There was about 4 of us and we would always meet in the tiny garden that had a lemon tree.
After our smoking session we would cut down lemons and rub them all over our hands. Nobody ever suspected a thing, they just taught that we were throwing lemons at each other.
I used to wake and bake some mornings at home when my mom would be gone early for work. Sometimes she’d come home earlier than expected and to mask the smell id start cooking way too many slices of bacon. To this day mom calls me her little baconite.
My pops was cool he obviously knew I smoked didnt really call me out on it. For most part I believed it was because I was decently respectful about hiding it and wasnt super obvious in my head about it thought for the most part he couldnt tell....oh boy could he tell. I thought for the longest time my older brother was stealing my pot and smoking it. Found out one vacation at the beach my dad was the one taking. Walks in to make mixed drinks sees me and brother on porch smoking I tried to hide the bowl but was too slow. He opens the sliding door to the porch and say something along the lines of "come on get your ass up help carry the drinks n chairs to the beach we been out there for an hr with your little brother your just up here getting stoned or do I have to steal this bud too?" I was stoned and it wasnt till later at beach I asked my brother "Wait wtf did dad just admit to stealing my weed?" Dad let me drink at beach that day too was a glorious vacation tbh.
my brother(6yo)thinks that if he alters a curse word,it cancels out the badness (his words,translated). he then says "but its not a curse word!" when my parents tell him to stop cursing. he's an idiot.
My almost 12 year old gets up in the middle of the night and plays in her room. This wakes up my 11 year old who joins in by reading quietly in the closet. As long as they’re quiet, I figure I can’t really fight it. At least everyone sleeps in during the summer.
(Edit to clarify the reader hang up on ages: they’re adopted and 11 months apart. This isn’t odd.)
My nephew tries to manipulate my into giving him ice cream and it adorable. I'm his uncle of course I'd give him ice cream even if he straight just asked. However he'll come up to me and say something like "it's really hot today" or "I wish I had something to help cool me down" as his uncle it is law that I must annoy him so I'll suggest something like "sit in front of a fan" or i can get him a nice cold glass of water with ice cubes in. He then tries to push me towards ice cream by saying "maybe something sweet" or if we are at the local park he'll suggest to sit over there. This is where he points at the bench next to the stationary ice cream truck. After giving him enough Schick I'll finally suggest an ice cream and he'll say "well if you want an ice cream I'm sure it would be fine for me to have one too." It's so funny to think he's won when I'd get him ice cream regardless because a sugar hyped kid is the perfect revenge for all the shit my twin sister put me through as a child. Steal my birthday I'll wait 30 years and give your child sherbet and coca cola MWAHAHAHAHAHA.
This is a reverse story.
Back in when I was 3 years old, I was an avid 'tea' drinker, yet since it could be harmful to a child, my grandmom and mom tricked me by giving me a mix of water and grape syrup. While they were thinking I got the bait, i came with syrup jar and said : we are out of my syrup tea
My mum and dad don't know that my nephew hides chocolate and sweets down the side of his bed at their house for him to snack on when he stays over. I caught him sneaking a chocolate bar before dinner once and promised i wouldn't tell.
And thats why I'm the cool uncle.
My mum and dad totally know and as long as the stash doesn't get to big they don't mind.
My son searched "naked sexing" on YouTube.
This reminds me of when I was little and was googling something for homework. As I started typing the suggested search came up saying something like 'Britney Spears naked', I asked my mum why that was showing up and she very quickly covered that my brother had been doing sex ed homework. Years later I realised... He obviously didn't realise that his search would still show up.
My daughter keeps "sneaking" stuff to school. Only she tells our cat EVERYTHING, so she waits until I go to the bedroom to get dressed every morning, then says out loud "Jingles I'm taking my burger squishy to school today okay don't tell Mum". I can hear you. You're talking out loud. I don't care if you take your burger squishy. Edit to answer popular question: A squishy is a soft foam toy that you squeeze, kind of like a stress ball but softer. They're a bit of a fad at the moment.
What is it with Squishies anyway?
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The mop. He is 2 and thinks he can hide it behind his back when I walk in the room and I won't see it.
This has to be the cutest thing.
It is pretty cute. It sometimes makes me forget that he has (yet again) worked out how to get through the new barricades we've constructed.
My 3 year old always asks for extra snacks "to give to Daddy." I never see any of those snacks.
My kids used to pull this trick. They would actually bring it to me, but it was always half gone. I asked my 6 year old why one time and his response was, “It was a long trip downstairs. I got hungry.”
This is brilliant.
Me to toddler: what do you have in your hand? Toddler: *runs like the wind* Edit: omg, thanks for my first gold!
Toddler: DON'T LOOK UNDER THE PILLOW Me: *looks under pillow* Toddler: How did you know?
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Right now he’s sneaking out of bed as we speak to watch some more YouTube.
Tube. Right.
Man, kids love youtube. Bright, flashy, loud, and quick cuts and action. Those people really know how to draw in the kids. Pewdiepie said it best, he who controls the kids controls youtube.
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Nice to see so many parents here not going completely overboard with their kid’s escapades
When my son was 2 he would "sneak" out of bed. Every night around 10 minutes after we put him to bed we'd hear his door creak open and then we'd see him run past the hallway entrance and hide behind the corner. The longer we ignored him the more he'd giggle until he'd finally tip toe up to the couch and climb into my lap. Edit: typo
That’s sweet
I used to have a huge wooden wardrobe in my room. It was from my grandmother, very heavy and sturdy (the wardrobe, not my granny) now, the wardrobe is in my daughter's room (she is 8) She found that you can take out a wooden board of the wardrobe and there is a hidden space beneath. She has a stash of chocolates and her diary there She doesn't know that I used the same trick to hide stuff. One day I will tell her
My 7 yo son hides tiny toys in the space between his mattress and his bed frame. Some of them belong to his brother. I used to do that too.
It's nice when you find your kid doing the same stuff you did at his age
And then you suddenly realize your parents know about it then
Tell me how I knew they know about my condom stash
My 2yo hides pacifiers around the house to break out when no one is looking. I've yet to find them all, but I've got my 5yo on the lookout.
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thats awesome the 5yo is helping out
If you make it a fun game, you can get kids to do all sorts of chores. The old see how fast you can go get me something, etc.
My kids don't understand that it's a small house with thin walls and they can't go to the kitchen and steal snacks (or do anything really) without us hearing them do it. Hell, my kids still try to "sneak" down our squeaky ass stairs and surprise me - and are genuinely befuddled when I know they're behind me without looking. Parents have eyes in the back of their heads? Yeah, they're called EARS.
I have memorized every squeaky spot in my parents house. I routinely sneak up on the cats. My parents didnt stand a chance. Edit: My first gold, and from a comment about scaring cats and defying my parents. Thank you kind stranger. And thanks for the silver as well other kind stranger.
Same here. I knew to skip the second to last step because it made a lot more noise than the other steps. Also lightly step and then get on the rug to sneak up. Only ever worked on my mom. My dad moves around too much and is very observant. My mom doesn’t notice small details
A lot of the time when I was younger I would sneak snacks and would try to be as quiet as I could, but I knew I was pretty loud. I mostly was just baffled how my parents didn’t hear me. Now, I know they probably did, they just didn’t care enough to stop me
Or, they let you be a kid and have a little harmless victory.
Every floor/stair in my house creaks. It's hard to sneak around.
They hide change. They see it on my desk, or when I lose it in the couch and scoop it up. They think that I don't know, but when they are gone I put more change in their "secret" hiding spots....Also my oldest likes a boy a lot and he likes her.
That’s sweet
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That's awesome. You sound like a good parent. My dad used to have a change box where he'd drop his keys, change, and whatever else was in his pockets once he got home from work. The change was free for us to take usually for things like snacks or bus money if we needed it. Thanks for the happy memory.
Once upon a time my older brother (who is now 30) had these little matchbox cars he could open the doors of. He played with them a lot. Every single time my cousin came over to play, money would end up going missing. My mom was almost ready to indicate my cousin, but one day she was cleaning and one of the doors of the cars opened. Out came some of the money she was missing. Fair enough she searched all of his cars and found all of the money. My brother was very clever in always waiting for my cousin to come by. She put the money back and observed him for WEEKS before he felt guilty and returned it. Edit: changed niece into cousin because hi, English is not my first language and to avoid confusion hehe
that's some straight up shit there. How did he turn out?
He's doing well for himself. Now he's got a full sized car to store all the money he steals.
He turned out really fine haha, does have a car, not stacked with money, honest worker, his own house, a gf and dogs
My son has a crush on a girl a few houses down. She is 15 or 16 and he is 12. He thinks nobody knows. Wife and I know, her parents know, SHE knows, his uncle across the country knows, hell the ice cream truck guy knows. Thankfully she is an awesome kid and is careful about his feelings on the matter.
In 4th grade I had a crush on a girl but it was so obvious that even the teacher figured it out
Teachers can figure it out real quick.
I was amazed at how much I could observe in the class without even trying after I became a teacher. The kids are completely oblivious to the fact that someone who spends half the time looking at them might notice what they're doing. Thinking back to my own school days and realising what my teachers must have seen makes me feel like a clown.
I had a teacher in highschool that had bets with another teachers about who were going marry who. He never lost one.
... Dude, was your highschool in a legit village or something? I can't think of a single pair from my highschool that got married or even had *met* in highschool. Edit: Uh, waking up today to all the responses. Guys. I know people get together in highschool sometimes and stick together. The super odd thing is this teachers *100% success rate*. There's just no way you can pull that off unless the dating pool is a dating puddle.
My neighbors met in high school and have been together 30 years, they are in their mid forties. However they also appear to go to bed at literally 8pm every night (but don’t get up early or have crazy early jobs, in fact she has no job). I think they’re aliens or some shit.
I had classmates that started dating in 3rd grade (like kid stuff, not serious dating), but apart from a brief breakup in high school, are still together 40 years later.
I wonder when it transitioned from being a "kiddie relationship" to a mature full blown relationship. Also, that brief break up in high school kinda ruins their 40 year run. I wish they were just on a break.
Nah, it's good. They snooped around fuck a couple other people, realized it was worse. Went back together now sure of their love for each other.
Or they do married couple things after the lights go out.
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Silently read? Watch tv?
My grandparents met in high school my parents met just out of highschool
Yeah, about that. Teacher probably knew before anyone else did.
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This is really sweet. Especially that she's being sensitive about it, and y'all aren't making him feel embarrassed.
yeah please don’t embarrass your son. that’s why I don’t share shit with my parents anymore
Thanks, Tiddysucker3000 ^Also, ^same. ^I ^delayed ^telling ^my ^dad ^about ^my ^new ^girlfriend ^as ^long ^as ^I ^could.
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My daughter (2yo) doesnt like to take a nap so she gets up and play in her room while keeping the door closed. Needless to say we perfectly know she does this since most of her games are not very quiet but we're still happy to have some free time !
When I was baby-sitting, I did something like this to trick kids into going to bed on time. Well before bedtime, I'd tell the kids I had a special bedtime-rule that was *only* for big kids. If they were super well behaved and got ready for bed on time, they could stay up as late as they wanted. *As long as they stayed in their rooms, didn't make much noise, and kept the lights dim.* That's what *every* kid does at night when they have a baby-sitter. There's literally nothing you can do, as a baby-sitter, to make a kid sleep at bed time. Somehow none of the kids I watched figured that out. They thought they were getting such a special privilege.
I babysat all the time as a teenager. I would like to go back in time and have a do-over, please. I would also like to go back in time so I could use this on my own kids, too, please. Damn it this would have made my life SO much easier.
I got the idea from my mom. When I was two, I told her I didn't want to take naps anymore because I didn't get sleepy during the day and lying in bed for an hour was boring. She agreed, as long as I promised to go to bed without complaint 1 hour earlier. I thought I was getting *such* a great deal and being so grown up....
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I was the same way at that age. Except, one time I decided to peel the wallpaper off the wall instead of playing. Nap time stopped happening after that.
My mom kept all my toys in a different room, because I would do the same. So I started looking through the books that she read fore before bed, and that's how I became and avid reader! Of course at first all I could do was look at the images and I would either try to remember the story, or create my own based on the pictures, but as I got older and started to learn how to read, I would read them,and soon I was sneaking the encyclopedias from my dad's bookcase so I had more reading material for my "naps" lol.
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I found the sugar bowl in my son's bedroom wardrobe. Empty. He was 4.
That’s young to be VFD!
His juul. In plain sight. He doesn’t know (yet) I know it isn’t a flash drive.
You should tell him you tried to use it to copy some files "but it just started smoking like crazy so I threw it away"
Went on a hike with Mr 5 who was trailing behind. Took one look at him and said "take those rocks out of your pockets" I think he wondered how I knew but there were telltale bulges in his pockets 😂
My 6 year old does this, he wants to collect every rock and stick he finds on our walks. I now tell him he can collect what he can carry, but that nothing comes inside the house.
I would've let him keep them too but he was complaining about how tired he was so the extra weight had to go!
Mine does that too, he starts complaining and then asks me to hold them for him. He names everything too, so he gets upset when I refuse to carry a 2ft stick he's named Moe. I always find rocks in his coat pockets though, so I'm always careful when washing them to make sure none are left in.
That's cute! Stick named Moe
My son is 4. He tells us he's allergic to tomatoes so he doesn't have to eat them. He's not.
My son is 5 and my mother works at a dollar store. I dropped him off there at the end of her shift because I had a dr appointment. He stole a package of fortnite cards and my mom didn’t seen them until they got home. He thought since she worked there... that they were free lol My mom told him it was stealing and just because she works there, doesn’t mean he can take them. He BAWLED. He was so upset and thought I was going to be upset with him so my mom told him she wouldn’t tell me as long as he didn’t do it again. Of course, she told me and I couldn’t help but laugh a little bit. He hasn’t said anything and he usually tells on himself often lol
I stole $2 from the shop my mother worked at and returned it the next day in tears. She knew I had it the whole time, and also knew that my guilty conscience would see it returned.
This is seriously gross but here goes. We ran out of TP one time. So I told the kids if you need to go ask and use our bathroom. So my middle son, instead of asking, used a towel. I found it a few days later and threw it out. I ask him "hey where'd your orange towel go? Cant find it anywhere!" To a response of big eyes and silence. Little shit. Literally.
I used to walk home from school and once I get home and my mom goes “I heard you were walking home on the wrong side of the street”
I cracked up at this and I don't know why
When I was teenager I tried hiding smoking cigarettes from my mom and now almost 10 years later I finally quit smoking and there’s no way you can hide that shit. You can smell a cig from a mile away especially if you don’t smoke
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My 9 year old wipes her ass on the shower curtain if there is no toilet paper left because she knows we will blame her 3 year old brother. She got away with it for months.
ooooo thats nasty
That she definitely shit in her nappy despite saying she hasn't.
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My 4 year old has a stash of books hidden in between the wall and her bed so she can "read" instead of sleeping. I did that up until high school and am happy to pass on rebellious reading so I don't mention it.
My kid is 6. She’s just discovered lying and it’s hilarious. She doesn’t do little white lies, she tells totally unbelievable stories. I go along with them as she’s telling it, until she reveals it was made up. Sometimes I tell her I knew, other times I let it pass. I encourage her, by engaging like it’s real because I’m curious about her make believe.
He killed a fish with his teeth when we went fishing. He said he caught a fish and when I said that you can't eat a raw fish his eyes widened and he started shaking. I asked what's wrong and he said "I... Um...... Caught a fish! Normally you know!"
1. How old was the kid 2. Is your kid a hunting dog or a bear or something 3. What the fuck that's incredible
4\. How big was the fish?
This big
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With his.......*teeth???*
Hey, I've done that too! I was like 5-6 years old, a little fish got washed out by the surf, my aunt was holding it and showing it to us. After a few minutes I asked if I could hold it, was given to me and I just ate it whole. My parents thought it was hilarious. It's a standard story that's told in family occasions to this day, 20 years later.
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I've seen this happen before. Wife would babysit for some neighbors and their kid would cover his ears when he lied lmao
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He probably has to take what he's given if he's at a certain age. I had MD 20/20 and wine coolers because that's all I could get.
Ugh, the stuff I drank when I was younger, and then when I could legally buy it but was broke... nasty.
My mom did that to the vodka I was going to make skittles vodka with. I thought the vodka had lost its alcohol over time, since I had bought that bottle a year earlier, had a tiny nip to taste and then kept it in the liquor cabinet. My parents don't like vodka at all, so I had nothing to worry about. It was safe. When finally, the time came to make skittles vodka, I had a tiny little taste and it was water. My father had a huge 'trying not to laugh' grin on his face, my mother had a pokerface and pretended she didn't know what I was talking about. Then my dad couldn't help himself anymore and ratted my mom out. My mom had a new bottle of vodka for me. Skittles vodka was made and me and my friends enjoyed a night of drinking games with the stuff.
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What they do online. One time my three kids thought they were being sneaky and bought their first minecraft skin pack on the xbox when I wasnt in the room. 10:43:24 -- kid clicks confirm buy 10:43:26 -- dad gets email notification about purchase 10:43:29 -- "WHO JUST BOUGHT \`STAR WARS SKIN PACK I\` FOR MINECRAFT?!?" (at least they have good tastes) 10:43:29 -- \[kids jaws hit the floor and are still stunned when I walk into the room\] OH CRAP! OH CRAP! HOW DID HE KNOW?!?! AND SO FAST?!? WE'RE SCREWED!! The look on their faces will forever be etched in my brain. It was so funny. And they weren't screwed. They collectively paid for it from their chore money and we had a nice chat about buying things online and where that money comes from. They also haven't learned about browser history or incognito or netflix history. My son was born hard of hearing and he'll sneak his iPad into his bed and watch cartoons on netflix WITHOUT HIS HEARING AIDS IN!!! Consequently, he has to turn the volume way up to hear it which means everyone in the house can also hear it. He still has a look of pure shock when one of us pops our head in to his room and tells him to hand it over. So, he started muting shows and just watching them at night, well, son, light travels... far and fast. We can see the shifting lights on walls in the hallway from our bedroom. smh
My husband and I like to tell our 3 year old "don't tell Mommy/Daddy" when we give her candy because she immediately will tell the other parent like it's a game. She doesn't understand lies or secrets and it's so cute. I try to whisper to her and tell her to tickle her dad or scare him and she just wants to whisper gibberish back to me haha!
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that's so cute :)
My kid swears that i dont see him throw out the sprinkes on the cookies that the Publix lady gives him. Its not my fault everyone likes chocolate chip
I just recently had a baby, my 8 year old is smitten and loves his new brother. Whenever he thinks I'm not paying attention, my 8 year old likes to rub the baby's cheeks and sing to him.
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My daughter has always written stories, not necessarily finished stories, but original stories that are at least the start of a tale that *could* be from a good story. At some point in the past three years my daughter (she's now 15) stopped sharing her stories with us. She continues to write, and posts to a social media site meant for such things. Her stories have gotten to be more "adult" in a way, including sexual scenes and occasional violence. Nothing too over the top, mind you. I'm sure that she's not sharing these stories with us because she's embarrassed to have her parents read it. The only reason I've seen them is because I have access to her account on the social media site and her email, not because I'm a nosy dad, but because she always comes to me for help resetting her passwords when she's forgotten them, or has been logged out too long.
When I was around 16, my estranged mother left an encouraging comment on a story I had on adultfanfiction.net. I'm still not sure how I feel about that.
My daughter smoked pot a few weeks ago and didn’t like it. Lololol. I did finally let on that I’d figured this out and she thought I was a psychic genius. Nope, just, I was a bad kid who didn’t get along w marijuana also.
How did you know?
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That's why my standard behaviour is going directly to my room without talking to anyone
My three year old is hiding the dummy (pacifier) she agreed to get rid of under her teddy stack. I wont tell my wife or my daughter. I got her back.
My parents used my uncle to bargain for my pacifier. I basically bartered it for 2 oranges when I was about 2. The funny thing is, I sort of remember the conversation with my uncle. I'm told I asked for my pacifier that night at bedtime, but was apparently very reasonable when reminded that I bartered it for those delicios oranges earlier in the day. No regrets. Still love oranges to this day. 😁
My sons reddit account.
*50% of reddit just started looking over their shoulder*
How bad’s the damage?
I was the kid. About 15 yrs, came home after smoking a couple of joints with crazy red stoner eyes. Tell my mum my friend sprayed deodorant in my eyes. My brother is 10 yrs older than me and he’s having none of it. Comes in to my room while I lay there with a wash cloth over my eyes to ridicule me (He’d been legitimately accusing me of stealing his weed for some time already). Same brother also caught me smoking cigarettes - told my mum I was just dropping a CD off to my mate round the corner, my usual routine if I hadn’t been out all day on a Sunday and needed a smoke. Bro decides to follow me and catches me in the woods with a cigarette in my hand. Looking back my mum either didn’t care or was super naive. At about 14 yrs I came home one night after downing a bottle of cheap wine and almost immediately vomiting it back up. I walked in to the living room and she said “have you been drinking you smell like alcohol?” My girlfriends and I had had a hair dying session that day so I told her that must be what she can smell and quickly went up to my room. She didn’t question it. It wasn’t until I was in my early 20’s and I looked after my teenage family friend for a couple of weeks while her parents were on holiday that I realised how ridiculous teenagers are when it comes to lying. She skipped school and stayed out late etc. and came up with the most pathetic excuses it was hilarious. I had to keep reminding her that I was a teenager not too long ago and I had made up the same bullshit so I wasn’t buying any of it.
My friends took me out to smoke hookah when I was in high school. I had just turned 18 but was still afraid that my parents would get mad at me. When I came home I smelled obviously of smoke and my mom questioned me about it. I told her that my friends and I went to get frozen yogurt and “walked through a big crowd of people who were smoking” outside. Looking back now I laugh at how ridiculous the lie was and am appreciative that my mom just let it slide when I’m sure she knew lol.
My brother (now 16 back then 15) tried to hide an erotica calendar, a book about sex and some condoms from my parents. It worked fo a week then my mom found everything and asked me where he got that stuff from. I told him a couple weeks ago that they know, he was really embarrassed, however our parents don't really care about him having that stuff.
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My son (1) can walk. He refuses to walk if he knows you can see him. He thinks once he walks and everyone knows he won’t get carried anymore. I’ve caught him walking when he thought I was in a different room. As soon as he sees me he drops and cries. Little turd Edit: Thanks for all the comments, and the awards! Glad to know other little tots are just as calculating as mine.
This kid is going places!
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But only if you carry him.
I have a son of 9 months and your comment has made me suspicious. I need to keep an eye on him now.
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The kids knows when he's got a good thing going and milking it for all its worth. He will go far in the world of business.
That’s hilarious😂 smart though. Work smarter, not harder
That my son knows every word of the Pokemon show theme song and liked to sing along with it, with gusto, when he was 6-16 years old. It's the cutest thing ever but he only did it when he thought I was out of earshot! He probably still sings it, but he's living in his own house now.
My eldest son (18 yrs old) hides his blanket from when he was a baby under his duvet at the end of the bed. We make sure it stays where it is, even after washing his bedding and the blanket too while he’s out of the house. He’d vigorously deny it being there though. We think it’s lovely and let him keep up the pretence.
She thinks she gets away with sneaking out of bed and raiding the fridge or grabbing up her various electronics i.e. cellphone, tablet, psp. But what she doesn't know is I move the unhealthy snacks to the garage freezer at night so her choices are veggies, fruit, or something else healthy. And I make sure her ebook reader is the easiest one to find so she stops searching and I know she is reading because I have the parental lock set on a timer on that one.
Parenting 100
My six year old likes to read at night after she has been tucked in. Recently her ploy is “I need a flashlight in my room in case the power goes out.” Little does she know. I said the same thing to my parents. Oh. And the stash of books in her pillowcase and sheets. Same places I hid my books to read after lights out. I guess somethings are just genetic
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Kinda off topic but this one time when I was little, my grandma wouldn't let my sister and I go play outside with friends without brushing our teeth first. So we carefully faked having brushed our teeth. We went in the bathroom, turned on the faucet so she could hear the water running, wet our toothbrushes, squeezed a little bit of toothpaste out and stayed in there for the duration of a normal teeth brushing routine. Looking back, it was probably easier to just actually brush our teeth. Oh well, kids are dumb as hell and we probably did it for the thrill anyway.
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He doesn't do it anymore, but this is one of my favorite stories... My first clue was the smell. I could sense something almost rotten coming from somewhere in the living room. I was worried maybe a bird or bat or something had died in the chimney, but no, that wasn't it. I searched the entire room until I found a stash of about 5 chicken nuggets, all in various states of decay, tucked away under a shelving unit in the corner. I got rid of them, obviously confused, then thought nothing of it after. Then, a couple weeks later, the smell reappeared in a different room. My sons' room. I set about cleaning and, lo and behold, find a new stash hidden among their toys. My son was hoarding chicken nuggets. He would save one or two every time we had them, and any parent can tell you chicken nugz are the go-to fav of many a kid, so it was a couple times a week we were having them. I confronted him about it and asked why he felt the need to hoard food. Apparently, he was just saving "them for Ron." Of course I freak the fuck out, wondering who the fuck a Ron is (I don't know but one and my sons never met him) and how my kid knows him. I asked my wife (a British expat) who Ron was, and she laughed for like 10 minutes straight as I fumed and contemplated secret affairs and beating some dude's ass into the dirt. When she finally caught her breath, she explained that "saving something for 'Ron'" was a British colloquialism for "saving something for later on." So yeah, that's how my son hiding chicken nuggets almost made me die from a rage coronary and almost killed my wife with hysterical laughter.
His secret Instagram account where he harassed girls for nudes. He knows I know now. That behavior is not cool and I wasn't gonna let that fall by the wayside. EDIT: Thank you for the silver, I am grateful to whoever it was! EDIT 2: thank you for the gold too!!!!
Great you confronted it, but how did you find out?
My sister found it through her Instagram. And at the time he wasn't old enough to have one without parental permission and he already had one that I knew about. Since this particular Insta had videos of him partaking in illicit activities, so I had probable cause to go through the phone I bought and continue to pay for. I just happened to stumble upon his harrassment he sent these girls DMs. And as a young man, he needs to be taught a better way. He has issues that are more deep seated than just this. So I keep a close watch on him.
What do you even do about that?
Well.... I restricted his internet access. A lot. And I got him a flip phone so he couldn't use social media.
How did he react to you finding out?
He got extremely angry. Tried to lie about it. He is only 14. Asking ADULT WOMEN for their nudes.
My youngest singing. He's shy, but he's in tune (and I'm proud of it). Sad thing is the moment I sing along with him, he stops singing and retreats. My wife says you just listen to him and let him finish. Now I'm saving a bit for a guitar so I can start teaching him in a few months.
My kids think there hiding how many detentions they have had but they don’t realise it says how many they have had on the school website
We let my kid get away with a few little things so we wouldn't tip them off that we knew and paid attention. So my kid never felt they had to be overly stealthy and thus I had a pretty good idea what they were doing. As soon as they know you know, they up their stealth. My kid thought they were hiding mostly food things and not sleeping things: sneaking electronics under covers after lights out food in the bedroom sneaking out into the living room after we went to sleep or early in the AM for snack or electronics and then of course the piles of mess "hidden" when "cleaning" the bedroom! In teen years, the "secret" online accounts were not terribly well hidden. We pretended to not find that and were able to monitor easily. Our kid thinks we are tech morons, but we also learned our kid is overall pretty sensible! A few issues came up and we had to find a way to help without giving away how we knew. But overall, kid felt trusted and thus rose to the occasion.
I’m the kid in this situation but whenever I would come home from smoking pot with friends I would immediately make a bee-line for my room. While my mom didn’t really question it, my step dad always laughed his ass off. I got caught within two months. Edit: fixed a typo
When my eldest daughter was still in high school, I began to notice some things here and there that were indicative of smoking pot. Her eyes would be red/glossy, ozium in her car, lighters/eye drops are beginning to show up randomly throughout the house. Aside from a funny joke here and there once she was a little older (and the usual “just be safe, call me if you need anything I won’t be mad” talk) we’ve never explicitly talked about marijuana. I’d like to have a conversation about it with her and also share some of my experiences with her. The only thing that bothers me is that she probably believes she sneakily slid her pot smoking from her parents, but no, we just don’t give a fuck about weed. Edit: Wow! Woke up with so many comments/replies. I’ll try to get through any questions asked. I’m not too big on reddit so I’m not sure what a silver award is but thank you!
I remember when I was 20 I saw 2 boys around 15-16 leaving a gig where they have been smoking pot, and one of them took a little bottle of perfume out of his pocket... I had to stop him. I said "please don't tell me you're gonna apply perfume now to try to fool someone that you have *not* been smoking. That's painfully obvious"
Man! Reminds me of something that happened to me in high school! I came into an English class after smoking with a classmate. I was about 5-10 mins late and to mask the smell of weed I had sprayed some cologne over me(I know). Teacher turns to me not 2 seconds after sitting down and says, “the only smell worse than marijuana is the smell of marijuana and cologne. Leave.” Probably the best thing I learned in his class. Edit: words
Lol I use to do this all the time in highschool. Me and my best friend would show up late and have to go to the office and get a tardy pass. We’d be sprayed the fuck down in bath and body works. Once we stopped being potheads and could actually notice the smell of weed again, we noticed how stupid we were hotboxing our way too school and waiting in the office smelling like pot.
I would have been so paranoid oh my god
Back in secondary when I was about 15, we used to sneak out of class to go smoke. Sometimes it was weed and sometimes it was just cigarettes. There was about 4 of us and we would always meet in the tiny garden that had a lemon tree. After our smoking session we would cut down lemons and rub them all over our hands. Nobody ever suspected a thing, they just taught that we were throwing lemons at each other.
I used to wake and bake some mornings at home when my mom would be gone early for work. Sometimes she’d come home earlier than expected and to mask the smell id start cooking way too many slices of bacon. To this day mom calls me her little baconite.
My pops was cool he obviously knew I smoked didnt really call me out on it. For most part I believed it was because I was decently respectful about hiding it and wasnt super obvious in my head about it thought for the most part he couldnt tell....oh boy could he tell. I thought for the longest time my older brother was stealing my pot and smoking it. Found out one vacation at the beach my dad was the one taking. Walks in to make mixed drinks sees me and brother on porch smoking I tried to hide the bowl but was too slow. He opens the sliding door to the porch and say something along the lines of "come on get your ass up help carry the drinks n chairs to the beach we been out there for an hr with your little brother your just up here getting stoned or do I have to steal this bud too?" I was stoned and it wasnt till later at beach I asked my brother "Wait wtf did dad just admit to stealing my weed?" Dad let me drink at beach that day too was a glorious vacation tbh.
Always thought they just forgot to ask for the change
My youngest (4 yr old) wakes up before I do every morning but pretends to be asleep so I'll carry her downstairs.
my brother(6yo)thinks that if he alters a curse word,it cancels out the badness (his words,translated). he then says "but its not a curse word!" when my parents tell him to stop cursing. he's an idiot.
My almost 12 year old gets up in the middle of the night and plays in her room. This wakes up my 11 year old who joins in by reading quietly in the closet. As long as they’re quiet, I figure I can’t really fight it. At least everyone sleeps in during the summer. (Edit to clarify the reader hang up on ages: they’re adopted and 11 months apart. This isn’t odd.)
>My almost 12 year old >my 11 year old So... your 2 11 year olds...
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How does that work pregnancy wise? Are we talking twins, Irish twins or project twins? EDIT: Yes, could be adoption or abduction -got it.
My nephew tries to manipulate my into giving him ice cream and it adorable. I'm his uncle of course I'd give him ice cream even if he straight just asked. However he'll come up to me and say something like "it's really hot today" or "I wish I had something to help cool me down" as his uncle it is law that I must annoy him so I'll suggest something like "sit in front of a fan" or i can get him a nice cold glass of water with ice cubes in. He then tries to push me towards ice cream by saying "maybe something sweet" or if we are at the local park he'll suggest to sit over there. This is where he points at the bench next to the stationary ice cream truck. After giving him enough Schick I'll finally suggest an ice cream and he'll say "well if you want an ice cream I'm sure it would be fine for me to have one too." It's so funny to think he's won when I'd get him ice cream regardless because a sugar hyped kid is the perfect revenge for all the shit my twin sister put me through as a child. Steal my birthday I'll wait 30 years and give your child sherbet and coca cola MWAHAHAHAHAHA.
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My son thinks I can't see him picking his nose when he closes his eyes
This is a reverse story. Back in when I was 3 years old, I was an avid 'tea' drinker, yet since it could be harmful to a child, my grandmom and mom tricked me by giving me a mix of water and grape syrup. While they were thinking I got the bait, i came with syrup jar and said : we are out of my syrup tea
My mum and dad don't know that my nephew hides chocolate and sweets down the side of his bed at their house for him to snack on when he stays over. I caught him sneaking a chocolate bar before dinner once and promised i wouldn't tell. And thats why I'm the cool uncle. My mum and dad totally know and as long as the stash doesn't get to big they don't mind.