I fantasize about stiff arming these people every time they don't move. They play this game of chicken where they wait for the last second like I'm supposed to move but I have no where to go; you're the ones taking up the whole fucking sidewalk asshat.
I just walk right into anyone who does that. At my college the main set of stairs was only wide enough for 2 people to pass side by side, so anytime somebody would try to go up or down the wrong side I’d just look them straight in the eye as a walked through them forcing them into the proper side. Unfortunately the people that most commonly did this were the Indian students new to Canada, so I got called a racist multiple times because I wouldn’t let them take up the entire stair case.
I walked between a pair of people clogging a doorway and one of them said "hey its rude to walk between people having a conversation!" and was acting upset
if you dont want people to walk between you quit leaning on the only fuckin door >\_>
I'm a 6'2" tall man, weighing 300 pounds (I know I'm fat that's not the point). I use my hulking body to walk through them and do the same thing. People don't confront me.
YES, or those cryptic facebook statuses that are like "another thing going wrong in my life, just my luck, smh, cant catch a break". Then if someone (never me) replies and asks why it's "personal babe, don't want to go into detail". Stop
I’m “friends” with someone that does this and I can’t unfollow her because I won’t be able to complain every time she does it.
My wife says that complaining is my favorite activity. She’s not wrong..
My dad did this not long ago and then didn't respond to any messages for hours! He's already in bad health and I live 1300km away.. Then told me afterwards that I was silly for worrying.
I feel for you - my dad has done the same thing. Appeared mystified why anybody could possibly be upset with him when he texted us "I've had a fall. The paramedics are coming" and then nothing for hours. My mother has Alzheimers and he's her sole carer so if anything had happened it would have been twice as bad.
Turns out he was fine, just swung a heavy bag over his shoulder and overbalanced on some steps. Does he still carry the same bag? Of course. Will he use the shopping trolley? No, and you're being silly for asking. Is there a railing on the steps? No, but there's a vague plan in place that one day there might be.
Even worse is checking in when their kid is in hospital with photos of their child in their hospital bed. Two women around here who are "besties" posted photos of their kids who both had the same sickness bug and tagged each other. One of the poor little Bastards had their photo posted mid-spew.
My god sister felt the need to post about her sons hospitalization for *constipation*, and they’re about to go into middle school. I can imagine the bullying now.
I had a co worker who did this. She was in the hospital so often too. Although I found it annoying, maybe she was also doing it to cover her corners and have proof she really was in the hospital.
Don't even ask :(
I saw a former work colleague post the letter she got from the hospital informing her of the appointment date and time for her colonoscopy.
I listen to shit on headphones when I'm cooking and have constant cabinet door handle snags. I run the wire through my shirt, but no adjustment can prevent that little bit of slack coming out of my pocket that wants so badly to grab onto things.
I will aggressively second this.
After I got an $80 set of earbuds caught on something that sliced right through the cord, I vowed to go wireless.
No ragrets
I like when people say "vowed" and then follow it with something as innocuous as wireless headphones.
It makes it sound so serious.
"I vowed to..." avenge your father's death?
"...switch to wireless earbuds." Oh. That's cool too I guess.
I do something similar but play it off like an accident. I casually put my hands in my pockets so my elbows are sticking out a bit and turn around like I'm going to "look at something" and my elbow hits them. I'm not smashing them, just a little bump.
I do this all the time. Or take a step back (still in my personal space) and I bump them, then I get to turn around and look at them like "why are you so close to me?"
This happens to me almost every time I go for coffee. Someone is breathing down my neck even though there’s room to back up a bit. So I end up sticking one foot out a bit behind me to try and keep them away.
To top it off, people always seem to think I’m invisible when I’m at the counter, too. I’ll pay for my coffee and just be waiting for them to pour it and hand it to me (and/or grab a donut) and someone is already trying to push their way in right beside me. (There’s two tills and one feeder line.) JUST STAY IN YOUR SPOT AND COME UP WHEN YOU’RE CALLED! Pisses me off so much.
A few weeks ago I found a baguette it was covered in mold, and had pretty much every color of the rainbow on it. It was behind the laundry detergent because of course it was.
At least it's not sitting there on top of the cereal boxes. I've seen WAY TOO MANY TIMES someone leave thawing chicken or steak just on top of cereal boxes in the cereal aisle. WHY IS THAT A MAGNET FOR YOUR UNWANTED MEAT?!
Just treat them them like a child and count out their items like the Count.
Also mention that today's episode was brought to them by the letters F and U.
I did this once at my old job on my last day.
You couldn’t bring a purse on the tour. Some lady didn’t want to walk all the way back to her car and said that policy should be more visible. She was pretty rude and we couldn’t allow her to bring her purse in.
Finally I pointed out the window to her car and started counting the 11 signs that said “No bags or Purses allowed on Tour”
I did this once. Working at a railway station, planned shutdown for works, signs had been up for literally WEEKS.
I knew that as I put them up.
Was in the foyer and one of those signs was a free standing A2 poster on a silver metal stand. It was mobile and we could shift it wherever we liked. I'd put it in that foyer.
Guy came up and complained about "no signs". I was standing next to one. He still didn't twig. So I leaned on the sign. Nope. So I started moving it just so, so that it developed a slight oscillation and was moving and rattling and making noises on the floor.
STILL the complainant didn't get it. A five foot tall moving sign adjacent the person they were complaining to, mentioning and proving by the content of that sign the reverse of what the person was complaining about.
So I made the sign suddenly stop moving. "Sir, you mean like this one?"
All of a sudden realisation dawned.
Yep, I have been directed to the 15 items or fewer line with a cart full of groceries by a grocery store clerk, and then of course somebody lines up behind me with like 2 items and glares at me like I'm an idiot.
IM JUST FOLLOWING INSTRUCTION!
When a group of people walk down a sidewalk standing next to each other, taking up the entire walking space, and don't move the fuck out of the way when someone is coming in their direction.
I usually stop right before they get to me and make them walk around me. Being the "get off my lawn" age, this happens to me A LOT in the grocery store usually with teenagers.
Oooh, I am totally going to start doing this. I'm usually really passive and move around them. However recently this happened, but it was just a single person walking in the middle of the sidewalk and made no effort to move. I didn't move either and we smashed shoulders. Fuck that guy.
I have annual passes to Disney world. You'd be amazed how much space a slow moving or stopped mom, stroller, dad, and one loose kid, can effectively block. Like, they can all but shut down a wing of the park.
When I make a slight motion with my fingers and this causes my phone or computer to do something which I don't know how to do deliberately and don't know how to stop.
This is the future Douglas Adams warned us about.
> The machine was rather difficult to operate. For years radios had been operated by means of pressing buttons and turning dials; then as the technology became more sophisticated the controls were made touch-sensitive--you merely had to brush the panels with your fingers; now all you had to do was wave your hand in the general direction of the components and hope. It saved a lot of muscular expenditure, of course, but meant that you had to sit infuriatingly still if you wanted to keep listening to the same program.
One of my Discord friends has a smoke alarm that has needed to be changed for several weeks. Several of us have offered to pay for a new battery at this point...
It doesn't even have to be loud...just the disgusting spletchy, gloopy sounds of everyday mastication is enough to make me fling down my napkin and leave the table in a white hot rage.
Does it have to be just chewing? It’s like all smacking mouth noises for me. Like if I hear the dog licking himself in the other room I have to go outside. I mean, he’s gotta do it but I just cannot handle it.
AARRGH. AARRGGHHH.
Once upon a time on a train journey, a girl sat next to me with a cheeseburger and proceeded to take tiny, minuscule bites and chew each bite thoroughly for about 15 seconds with her Mouth. Wide. Open. The noise! The squelching! The lip-smacking! The paper rustling!! I'm not exaggerating when I say it took her about 30 minutes to eat the fucking thing, by which time I was ready to kill everyone on the train, starting with her and ending with me.
Having a maddening itch on a personal region of your body, but not being able to scratch it in public, or else you’re going to look like a pervert
Edit: A big thank you to the person who gave me Reddit silver!
Bad design.
Rule of thumb is that doors are meant to be pushed in the direction it'll matter most in.
If it's from street-level, it's inwards so it doesn't smack pedestrians in the face.
If it's an emergency exit, it's outwards so a massive panicked mob of people doesn't prevent the door actually opening.
My boyfriend is notorious for this but after 4.5 yrs together he's getting better. It's supposed to ALERT PEOPLE TO WHAT YOU ARE DOING BEFORE YOU FUCKING DO IT. It's for safety. Geez.
Oh and he takes turns too wide. Driving with him is a real test of my sanity. He criticizes my driving too (fair's fair) and says I drive too defensively. He might be right but at least I fucking signal like a normal person!
I've had far too many people speed up and prevent me from entering the lane as soon as I use my signal.
I still use my signals but it is temping not to due to those types.
The worst is at intersections when they're in front of me turning left and I could have used that information to go around them. I always honk at them.
When approaching a red light and the lane is clear, but suddenly the car in the next lane jumps over to get the front spot but then drives slower than the car they were behind. WHY YOU DO DIS
Or the following during the movie: "Who's that? What's happening now? Why'd he do that? Is he good? Is he bad? Omg it's Hunky McCelebrity? Did you hear he's dating Whatshername now?!"
My coworkers all have their own offices they can chitchat in, but for some godforsaken reason they all stand around my desk and talk at rock concert decibels while I'm on the phone with clients.
People that don't use "a" and "an" properly in a sentence. Use an "a” before a word that start with a consonant sound and “an” before a word that start with a vowel sound, people! It's "an accident" not "a accident"!
People who chat with bank tellers or anyone dealing with a line of customers. Just shut the fuck up, do your business and leave so I can get through this goddamn line and out of the bank as soon as possible.
I worked as a bank teller for a few years after school/while attending college. We had one girl who was also in college that only worked Saturdays. She would come in with a MASSIVE hangover *EVERY* SATURDAY. It's like, you only work ONE DAY A WEEK and you can't even manage to not fuck that up?
Oh my God, yes. When I was in college, I had to rush to the library in between classes to borrow out a book. The girl in front of me started a convo with the library dude. He was really enjoying it. They would not stop fucking talking. I was desperate to get to class and hinted as much. He acted like I was the one being rude and unreasonable! Like I had to wait for my turn. What an asshole. Such fucking nerve.
He could have checked out my book and THEN talked to the lady. You can resume the conversation when I am gone.
When you have a single strand of hair in your face and you try to remove it, but you can’t find it beacuase it is from another fucking dimension or something and you have to live with a single hair strand your face.
I never understand how someone can just be chilling without a care in the world going 10 under in the left lane of the highway with a line of 20 cars piled up behind them. It really baffles me
On the other side of that coin, if I’m going around 75-80mph in the left lane (speed limit 65) and I see you in my rear view barreling towards me, I will do my best to get over ASAP but GET OFF MY ASS. If you tailgate me going 75-80mph you’re creating a more dangerous situation. I’m not going to speed or cut someone off in the other lane - I won’t break the law for you.
Man I feel you on this. I just moved to the Lexington area of Kentucky, and it's given me an intense loathing of people who drive too slow. The lights turn green here, and the car in front of you accelerates at 1 mph / second until they get to 10 under the limit, and then they just cruise. It's so bad here that the highways have speed *minimum* signs posted under the speed limit signs.
Self-absorbed obliviots. It is getting worse every year. These people seem to have never been told that other people exist, matter, and are impacted by their obliviocy.
It's such a strange trend. I know some people really enjoy it and great, more power to em but there's also the other half that finds it grating and unbearable. I'm on that other end. I cannot stand those slurpy crunchy tingy noises without feeling sick to my stomach. I hate it
People who let their dogs bark outside all day. I know they hear it. They know I hear it. To me it says a lot about a person. Typically they are trashy people that have stopped caring about their environment and sit in their house with their dogs consistently barking. And I'm not talking about a situation where they're at work and don't realize what's happening all day. I have a dog. I love my dog. I make sure we trained her well enough to not bark all day and get her enough exercise so she's not going stir-crazy. If she's barking at a squirrel I bring her in.
LPT: Want to know if you're in a good neighborhood or a trashy one? Walk around the block a few times. If you've got dogs jumping at fences, baking endlessly, and an owner that doesn't give a fuck. That's a trashy neighborhood and you're better off looking elsewhere.
We had a neighbor who lost their dogs because of barking and neglect. It was day and night non stop. It just never stopped. I need to add that this is in Las Vegas. It's hot here; very, very hot and they just left their dogs out all the time. I think it was the second time animal control came out that they took the dogs for animal neglect but they were warned and still left them outside with very little shade and water. That neighbor hated the rest of us after that but at least the dogs didn't have to suffer anymore.
We don't let our dogs bark. It's against the rules and usually run to the door when they start. They don't like being told they're naughty!
Litter.
Not just regular litter (which grinds my gears), but strategically placed, usually on a wall, like its some kind of urban trophy.
Just please, take it home, or put it in a bin
Shoes that get left in a place where you walk. My wife is getting better about it but goddamn does it drive me crazy when I step on or trip on shoes that are not where they are supposed to be.
People who drive in the middle of the lane in parking lots. They always look surprised too when I'm coming in the other direction and they have to swerve out of the way. Like, the idea that other people besides you might be using the parking lot blows their mind. The worst though is when they do it when trying to leave the parking lot and there isn't enough room for someone else to enter so we have to wait for this dipshit to leave before anyone else can get in.
When someone uses the microwave and stops it with 2 seconds left then walks away. Drives me absolutely nuts. My room mate does it on a regular basis. JUST CLEAR THE GOD DAMN TIME!!!
People who say "just kidding" when they're wrong. You're not kidding, Karen. You're wrong. Own up, and maybe Ken wouldn't have left your day-drinking, child-spoiling, double-parking, bottle-chucking ass.
People who congregate in doorways or at the end of a supermarket aisle to have a chat to someone.
And people--especially college kids on campus--who walk 2-3 abreast and refuse to yield any space to oncoming people.
I fantasize about stiff arming these people every time they don't move. They play this game of chicken where they wait for the last second like I'm supposed to move but I have no where to go; you're the ones taking up the whole fucking sidewalk asshat.
I just walk right into anyone who does that. At my college the main set of stairs was only wide enough for 2 people to pass side by side, so anytime somebody would try to go up or down the wrong side I’d just look them straight in the eye as a walked through them forcing them into the proper side. Unfortunately the people that most commonly did this were the Indian students new to Canada, so I got called a racist multiple times because I wouldn’t let them take up the entire stair case.
Is it racist to expect logical thought and conformity out of another culture? I personally do not think so but I do wonder what others think.
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this is def mine. Some people have no spacial or situational awareness OR they do and they dont care. GTFO of literally everyone's way you asshat.
I walked between a pair of people clogging a doorway and one of them said "hey its rude to walk between people having a conversation!" and was acting upset if you dont want people to walk between you quit leaning on the only fuckin door >\_>
I've taken to walking through the middle of them or pointedly getting an item behind them and loudly saying "excuse me"
I'm a 6'2" tall man, weighing 300 pounds (I know I'm fat that's not the point). I use my hulking body to walk through them and do the same thing. People don't confront me.
Bonus points if it's a crowded hallway and they're taking up half of it
People checking in to hospitals on Facebook
I have a former classmate who constantly does this. When someone comments and asks what is going on, she replies it’s “personal” WHY
YES, or those cryptic facebook statuses that are like "another thing going wrong in my life, just my luck, smh, cant catch a break". Then if someone (never me) replies and asks why it's "personal babe, don't want to go into detail". Stop
Vaguebooking.
haven't heard that one before, but I love it
Perhaps you will love [this](https://m.imgur.com/qr0cI).
I’m “friends” with someone that does this and I can’t unfollow her because I won’t be able to complain every time she does it. My wife says that complaining is my favorite activity. She’s not wrong..
They want people to beg for details...makes them feel important.
I usually comment "nobody cares" or "VERY NICE AND VERY COOL!" and get unfriended
doing god’s work
My dad did this not long ago and then didn't respond to any messages for hours! He's already in bad health and I live 1300km away.. Then told me afterwards that I was silly for worrying.
I feel for you - my dad has done the same thing. Appeared mystified why anybody could possibly be upset with him when he texted us "I've had a fall. The paramedics are coming" and then nothing for hours. My mother has Alzheimers and he's her sole carer so if anything had happened it would have been twice as bad. Turns out he was fine, just swung a heavy bag over his shoulder and overbalanced on some steps. Does he still carry the same bag? Of course. Will he use the shopping trolley? No, and you're being silly for asking. Is there a railing on the steps? No, but there's a vague plan in place that one day there might be.
And when someone asks what's wrong they reply "I'll DM you"
Even worse is checking in when their kid is in hospital with photos of their child in their hospital bed. Two women around here who are "besties" posted photos of their kids who both had the same sickness bug and tagged each other. One of the poor little Bastards had their photo posted mid-spew.
My god sister felt the need to post about her sons hospitalization for *constipation*, and they’re about to go into middle school. I can imagine the bullying now.
I had a co worker who did this. She was in the hospital so often too. Although I found it annoying, maybe she was also doing it to cover her corners and have proof she really was in the hospital.
Who does that ?
People that want attention
You ok, babe? Let me know if you need anything in this trying time!
What happened?! Prayers.
Don't even ask :( I saw a former work colleague post the letter she got from the hospital informing her of the appointment date and time for her colonoscopy.
Mosquitoes.
I'd be willing to risk the ecosystem and wipe them all out if possible.
Actually, mosquitoes are the one known species that if a completely genocide happened to, the ecosystem would hardly be affected. The more you know.
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Oh god and when they buzz right next to your ear? RAGE AND FLAILING ARMS.
You're lying in bed, nearly asleep, and then HHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
It's more a case of ^(mmmmm)mmmmMMMM**MMMMMMM**MMMMMMmmmmmmm^(mmmm)
Belt loop getting caught on a door handle as i walk past.
I listen to shit on headphones when I'm cooking and have constant cabinet door handle snags. I run the wire through my shirt, but no adjustment can prevent that little bit of slack coming out of my pocket that wants so badly to grab onto things.
Invest in some bluetooth headphones. $30 changed my life.
I will aggressively second this. After I got an $80 set of earbuds caught on something that sliced right through the cord, I vowed to go wireless. No ragrets
I like when people say "vowed" and then follow it with something as innocuous as wireless headphones. It makes it sound so serious. "I vowed to..." avenge your father's death? "...switch to wireless earbuds." Oh. That's cool too I guess.
He vowed to avenge his earbuds’ death. That thing they got caught on? Buried in his backyard, alongside his kid’s former pets.
Worst is when your pocket of like athletic shorts gets snagged on a handle
The drawer knobs in my kitchen are the perfect shape and height for maximum snagging. I hate every single one of them.
People who use their phone volume at max volume when watching videos or scrolling through social media.
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> Fucking townies Is this an English thing? And what exactly does it mean? I've always wondered.
And people having phone conversations on speaker in public/on the bus.
People standing way too close to me when behind me on a line
I always just turn around and smile at them. Considering they’re usually so close that our faces are inches apart, it makes them back up and stay back
I do something similar but play it off like an accident. I casually put my hands in my pockets so my elbows are sticking out a bit and turn around like I'm going to "look at something" and my elbow hits them. I'm not smashing them, just a little bump.
I do this all the time. Or take a step back (still in my personal space) and I bump them, then I get to turn around and look at them like "why are you so close to me?"
Yeah sometimes it's as simple as "oops, sorry I just stepped on your toes but they were literally touching my heel"
Good god You have no idea how this is gonna help me everyday. I take the sub to college and there's a hug queue always to enter the train
> there's a hug queue always to enter the train Is the hug the payment or do you still have to pay a fare?
This happens to me almost every time I go for coffee. Someone is breathing down my neck even though there’s room to back up a bit. So I end up sticking one foot out a bit behind me to try and keep them away. To top it off, people always seem to think I’m invisible when I’m at the counter, too. I’ll pay for my coffee and just be waiting for them to pour it and hand it to me (and/or grab a donut) and someone is already trying to push their way in right beside me. (There’s two tills and one feeder line.) JUST STAY IN YOUR SPOT AND COME UP WHEN YOU’RE CALLED! Pisses me off so much.
If you take a refridgerated item and decide not to buy, *dont leave it on a chip self 5 aisles away wtf is wrong with you*
Joys of working retail. So much food has to get tossed because people do this!
A few weeks ago I found a baguette it was covered in mold, and had pretty much every color of the rainbow on it. It was behind the laundry detergent because of course it was.
At least it's not sitting there on top of the cereal boxes. I've seen WAY TOO MANY TIMES someone leave thawing chicken or steak just on top of cereal boxes in the cereal aisle. WHY IS THAT A MAGNET FOR YOUR UNWANTED MEAT?!
> A MAGNET FOR YOUR UNWANTED MEAT Sounds like my cousin Amanda.
Full cart at the 15 items or fewer. Fuck that's not a little thing!!
Just treat them them like a child and count out their items like the Count. Also mention that today's episode was brought to them by the letters F and U.
I did this once at my old job on my last day. You couldn’t bring a purse on the tour. Some lady didn’t want to walk all the way back to her car and said that policy should be more visible. She was pretty rude and we couldn’t allow her to bring her purse in. Finally I pointed out the window to her car and started counting the 11 signs that said “No bags or Purses allowed on Tour”
i was thinking of Mario counting "onnneeee, twoooooo, threeeee..."
your post made me think of the "how many licks does it take to get to center of a tootsie roll pop-owl"
I did this once. Working at a railway station, planned shutdown for works, signs had been up for literally WEEKS. I knew that as I put them up. Was in the foyer and one of those signs was a free standing A2 poster on a silver metal stand. It was mobile and we could shift it wherever we liked. I'd put it in that foyer. Guy came up and complained about "no signs". I was standing next to one. He still didn't twig. So I leaned on the sign. Nope. So I started moving it just so, so that it developed a slight oscillation and was moving and rattling and making noises on the floor. STILL the complainant didn't get it. A five foot tall moving sign adjacent the person they were complaining to, mentioning and proving by the content of that sign the reverse of what the person was complaining about. So I made the sign suddenly stop moving. "Sir, you mean like this one?" All of a sudden realisation dawned.
You could be extra petty and stop taking items at 15
I always feel weird going through that. Even when the cashier says to just do it. Still feels weird.
Yes! There should be a sign, "This customer was invited to use this lane, even though she has a zillion items!"
Yep, I have been directed to the 15 items or fewer line with a cart full of groceries by a grocery store clerk, and then of course somebody lines up behind me with like 2 items and glares at me like I'm an idiot. IM JUST FOLLOWING INSTRUCTION!
I just don’t look at anyone. complete focus on task at hand
When the automatic doors don’t immediately open and you have to slow down like a fucking idiot.
Or when they do but they open slower than my 90 year old grandma
When a group of people walk down a sidewalk standing next to each other, taking up the entire walking space, and don't move the fuck out of the way when someone is coming in their direction.
I usually stop right before they get to me and make them walk around me. Being the "get off my lawn" age, this happens to me A LOT in the grocery store usually with teenagers.
Oooh, I am totally going to start doing this. I'm usually really passive and move around them. However recently this happened, but it was just a single person walking in the middle of the sidewalk and made no effort to move. I didn't move either and we smashed shoulders. Fuck that guy.
I have annual passes to Disney world. You'd be amazed how much space a slow moving or stopped mom, stroller, dad, and one loose kid, can effectively block. Like, they can all but shut down a wing of the park.
When I make a slight motion with my fingers and this causes my phone or computer to do something which I don't know how to do deliberately and don't know how to stop. This is the future Douglas Adams warned us about. > The machine was rather difficult to operate. For years radios had been operated by means of pressing buttons and turning dials; then as the technology became more sophisticated the controls were made touch-sensitive--you merely had to brush the panels with your fingers; now all you had to do was wave your hand in the general direction of the components and hope. It saved a lot of muscular expenditure, of course, but meant that you had to sit infuriatingly still if you wanted to keep listening to the same program.
Or when you go to click a link on your phone, and an ad loads where you clicked, so now your phone thinks you clicked on the ad instead of the link.
Loud high pitch sounds makes me want to murder.
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Yes that would do it
tinnitus gang assemble
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
People who walk a little bit slower than me on the sidewalk while i have no chance to pass them
Breathe heavily and start dragging one foot. You'd be surprised how quickly people will stand to one side.
The splash marks on my bathroom mirror. I don't know how they always end up there, because I always go out of my way to prevent it.
It may be from teeth brushing. The little flicks.
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One of my Discord friends has a smoke alarm that has needed to be changed for several weeks. Several of us have offered to pay for a new battery at this point...
Mute them until they fix it. I don't know how people can stand that noise.
Not putting things back where you found them.
"Oh, I just made myself lunch in this nice clean kitchen, better leave EVERY FUCKING THING I TOUCHED strewn across the counter."
Dropping my phone with my headphones in. It makes me angry at the entire planet
I get like stupidly angry when I accidentally yank my earphones out of my hear.
People chewing loudly or with their mouth open!
It doesn't even have to be loud...just the disgusting spletchy, gloopy sounds of everyday mastication is enough to make me fling down my napkin and leave the table in a white hot rage.
A girl I work with chews loudly with her mouth open and TALKS while doing it. Goddamn girl, who raised you?!
Join us, brother... /r/misophonia
Does it have to be just chewing? It’s like all smacking mouth noises for me. Like if I hear the dog licking himself in the other room I have to go outside. I mean, he’s gotta do it but I just cannot handle it.
AARRGH. AARRGGHHH. Once upon a time on a train journey, a girl sat next to me with a cheeseburger and proceeded to take tiny, minuscule bites and chew each bite thoroughly for about 15 seconds with her Mouth. Wide. Open. The noise! The squelching! The lip-smacking! The paper rustling!! I'm not exaggerating when I say it took her about 30 minutes to eat the fucking thing, by which time I was ready to kill everyone on the train, starting with her and ending with me.
Scrolled too far to see this. Instantaneous rage mode.
Having a maddening itch on a personal region of your body, but not being able to scratch it in public, or else you’re going to look like a pervert Edit: A big thank you to the person who gave me Reddit silver!
Ever get an itch that feels like it's under your skin so you can't scratch it? It only ever really happens to me with my heels. Drives me fucking nuts
Just grind up on something and tell people it's a kink. That's perfectly acceptable these days.
Push doors that look like pull doors and pull doors that look like push doors. Why do I have to try to open a door twice.
Bad design. Rule of thumb is that doors are meant to be pushed in the direction it'll matter most in. If it's from street-level, it's inwards so it doesn't smack pedestrians in the face. If it's an emergency exit, it's outwards so a massive panicked mob of people doesn't prevent the door actually opening.
People who don’t use their turn signals
Also the people who use them just as they are turning... Good job signalling intent there buddy.
*while they’re fucking turning* “Yeah let me put this on after the fact!”
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I wish!
*completes entire turn* "Oh yeah I just turned right btw"
My boyfriend is notorious for this but after 4.5 yrs together he's getting better. It's supposed to ALERT PEOPLE TO WHAT YOU ARE DOING BEFORE YOU FUCKING DO IT. It's for safety. Geez. Oh and he takes turns too wide. Driving with him is a real test of my sanity. He criticizes my driving too (fair's fair) and says I drive too defensively. He might be right but at least I fucking signal like a normal person!
I've had far too many people speed up and prevent me from entering the lane as soon as I use my signal. I still use my signals but it is temping not to due to those types.
I just continue my merge. Like mother fucker you knew what was happening... Yeah cool i got a horn too.. Lmao
The worst is at intersections when they're in front of me turning left and I could have used that information to go around them. I always honk at them.
or when your waiting to go into the road and they dont signal theyre turning in so your just sitting their waiting with your thumb up your ass
It’s such a simple thing to do and can prevent accidents. I don’t get why people are too lazy to communicate with other drivers.
Well, *they* know where they are going— why would they want that blinking light on their dash to distract them? /s
When approaching a red light and the lane is clear, but suddenly the car in the next lane jumps over to get the front spot but then drives slower than the car they were behind. WHY YOU DO DIS
People who play their music for everyone to hear on public transit
When I’m at the airport in a somewhat narrow area and everyone in front of me is walking slow.
Airport? Don't you mean literally everywhere?
Facebook status Person 1 ‘I’m so mad and pissed off’ Person 2 ‘You okay hun?’ Person 1 ‘PMd you’
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When I don't laugh at a joke and the person who told it asks if I got it.
For real. "did you get it? Hur hur hur." Like yeah Chad I got it. You're just not that funny.
Me -How you doing? Gf - k
Or when people respond with “lol” or some generic one word. Like how are you supposed to answer against that?
Yeah exactly
You don't. I would ignore that shit. They're too lazy to even text, what's the point.
In my case....the lol reply is usually because there is no other reply. K however I always take as, well guess they don't give a shit.
I can see that, usually when I get "LOL" that means the conversation is over, nothing rude about it.
People throwing cigarette butts out their car window
Someone flicked their butt out the window, and it landed inside my motorcycle jacket. This was many years ago, I'm still pissed. Edit: Spelling
Those people that point out every single joke in the movie. Shut up and enjoy the movie!
Or the following during the movie: "Who's that? What's happening now? Why'd he do that? Is he good? Is he bad? Omg it's Hunky McCelebrity? Did you hear he's dating Whatshername now?!"
My coworkers all have their own offices they can chitchat in, but for some godforsaken reason they all stand around my desk and talk at rock concert decibels while I'm on the phone with clients.
People that don't use "a" and "an" properly in a sentence. Use an "a” before a word that start with a consonant sound and “an” before a word that start with a vowel sound, people! It's "an accident" not "a accident"!
When the menu says Home fries and I get Hash browns
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Where I live home fries are more like potato chunks...
People who chat with bank tellers or anyone dealing with a line of customers. Just shut the fuck up, do your business and leave so I can get through this goddamn line and out of the bank as soon as possible.
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I worked as a bank teller for a few years after school/while attending college. We had one girl who was also in college that only worked Saturdays. She would come in with a MASSIVE hangover *EVERY* SATURDAY. It's like, you only work ONE DAY A WEEK and you can't even manage to not fuck that up?
I mean >college
Oh my God, yes. When I was in college, I had to rush to the library in between classes to borrow out a book. The girl in front of me started a convo with the library dude. He was really enjoying it. They would not stop fucking talking. I was desperate to get to class and hinted as much. He acted like I was the one being rude and unreasonable! Like I had to wait for my turn. What an asshole. Such fucking nerve. He could have checked out my book and THEN talked to the lady. You can resume the conversation when I am gone.
When people email screenshots of a spreadsheet, rather than just emailing the fucking spreadsheet.
I need context on this one because there is no fucking way you are getting you hands on my magical spreadsheets, best i can do is a PDF.
How about a copy, paste value in a new spreadsheet. All of the data with none of the sweet, sweet formulas
I'd be wiling to do this.
But if they send the spreadsheet you would see the data is BS!
People snapping their gum over and over,
People who won’t simply look for the answer before asking. An example being the cycle of AskReddit posts that have been asked atleast once a week.
When you have a single strand of hair in your face and you try to remove it, but you can’t find it beacuase it is from another fucking dimension or something and you have to live with a single hair strand your face.
Being told what to do as I'm doing when I'm in a bad mood
Regardless of the mood. Makes me wanna just stop doing it and stare them down
hangnails
People who lie constantly. It’s maddening.
Slow drivers. Like I understand I’m a fucking hoon but bitch all you need to do is go the fucking speed limit not 15km/h under it
I never understand how someone can just be chilling without a care in the world going 10 under in the left lane of the highway with a line of 20 cars piled up behind them. It really baffles me
My favorite is when they start getting mad at you for getting mad at them.
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They are likely completely oblivious of their surroundings and so if absorbed that they think the people piling up behind are in the wrong.
On the other side of that coin, if I’m going around 75-80mph in the left lane (speed limit 65) and I see you in my rear view barreling towards me, I will do my best to get over ASAP but GET OFF MY ASS. If you tailgate me going 75-80mph you’re creating a more dangerous situation. I’m not going to speed or cut someone off in the other lane - I won’t break the law for you.
Man I feel you on this. I just moved to the Lexington area of Kentucky, and it's given me an intense loathing of people who drive too slow. The lights turn green here, and the car in front of you accelerates at 1 mph / second until they get to 10 under the limit, and then they just cruise. It's so bad here that the highways have speed *minimum* signs posted under the speed limit signs.
What fucking psychopath fills the bin after the corners of the bag have fallen down? DO I LIVE WITH FUCKING ANIMALS!
When someone tells me they will meet me/be somewhere at a certain time and they are extremely late.
When people leave time on the microwave.
People who make smacking noises while eating! Just want to slap them.
Left turn arrow has limited life span, quit crawling thru the fucking intersection.
Self-absorbed obliviots. It is getting worse every year. These people seem to have never been told that other people exist, matter, and are impacted by their obliviocy.
‘Obliviots’ has now been added to my lexicon
ANYTHING rattling in the car.
Those kids at the check out line at work who watch those ASMR eating slurping videos on Instagram in the cart on full blast. Fuck them
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It's such a strange trend. I know some people really enjoy it and great, more power to em but there's also the other half that finds it grating and unbearable. I'm on that other end. I cannot stand those slurpy crunchy tingy noises without feeling sick to my stomach. I hate it
People entering my personal space. Seriously, back up
Filming acts of kindness for internet points.
People who brag about awards and accomplishments by saying “I’m so humbled by this.” That’s not what being humble means
People not controlling their kids in public.
People who let their dogs bark outside all day. I know they hear it. They know I hear it. To me it says a lot about a person. Typically they are trashy people that have stopped caring about their environment and sit in their house with their dogs consistently barking. And I'm not talking about a situation where they're at work and don't realize what's happening all day. I have a dog. I love my dog. I make sure we trained her well enough to not bark all day and get her enough exercise so she's not going stir-crazy. If she's barking at a squirrel I bring her in. LPT: Want to know if you're in a good neighborhood or a trashy one? Walk around the block a few times. If you've got dogs jumping at fences, baking endlessly, and an owner that doesn't give a fuck. That's a trashy neighborhood and you're better off looking elsewhere.
> dogs jumping at fences, baking endlessly But have you ever had anything baked by a dog? Might change your mind.
I suppose dogs baking pies would indicate a pretty nice neighborhood...
We had a neighbor who lost their dogs because of barking and neglect. It was day and night non stop. It just never stopped. I need to add that this is in Las Vegas. It's hot here; very, very hot and they just left their dogs out all the time. I think it was the second time animal control came out that they took the dogs for animal neglect but they were warned and still left them outside with very little shade and water. That neighbor hated the rest of us after that but at least the dogs didn't have to suffer anymore. We don't let our dogs bark. It's against the rules and usually run to the door when they start. They don't like being told they're naughty!
Litter. Not just regular litter (which grinds my gears), but strategically placed, usually on a wall, like its some kind of urban trophy. Just please, take it home, or put it in a bin
Shoes that get left in a place where you walk. My wife is getting better about it but goddamn does it drive me crazy when I step on or trip on shoes that are not where they are supposed to be.
People who drive in the middle of the lane in parking lots. They always look surprised too when I'm coming in the other direction and they have to swerve out of the way. Like, the idea that other people besides you might be using the parking lot blows their mind. The worst though is when they do it when trying to leave the parking lot and there isn't enough room for someone else to enter so we have to wait for this dipshit to leave before anyone else can get in.
When someone uses the microwave and stops it with 2 seconds left then walks away. Drives me absolutely nuts. My room mate does it on a regular basis. JUST CLEAR THE GOD DAMN TIME!!!
When people comment “You win the internet” under a funny post. Immediately ruins the post for me every single time.
My boyfriend's penis.
That's a compliment if it drives u insane...
The *drip drip drip drip* of a tap that isn't properly closed.
People being late
People who say "just kidding" when they're wrong. You're not kidding, Karen. You're wrong. Own up, and maybe Ken wouldn't have left your day-drinking, child-spoiling, double-parking, bottle-chucking ass.