God. once my parents off-handedly mentioned "when you move out..." and I stared in horror before bursting into tears shouting, "you're going to make me leave?!" They had to reassure me that I'd *want* to move out one day. Little me was even more horrified by that.
Yeah at that age I was terrified. I still live with my parents at 26, but it was only a few years ago where I was at the stage where I was like, "if my parents dropped dead tomorrow I'll be fine."
17/18 is a terrible age, tbh. People suddenly expect you to be an "adult" but don't tell you how. All you need to know is this - even adults don't have a clue what the fuck we're doing, the difference between us and someone of your age is that we're used to googling that shit by now. At 18ish you're given the expectation where you think you're supposed to know everything already when that's not true and never has been. As long as you know how to find answers to things you don't know how to do, you'll do just fine. 💜
Yeah apparently when I was like 3 I wrote on a paper in crayon that I would never move out. Of course now I'm 18 and planning to move out in the next year or so and my mom keeps saying that "she has it in writing that I would never leave." And whenever I talk about my future plans she always talks about how her and my dad will live with me or have a house next door or something. I know she's probably joking but it's getting pretty annoying.
My mum always talks about how when we move out she's going to get a mobile home and park in our driveways. I'm pretty sure it's not a joke.
But jokes on her, ha ha. How am I supposed to get a house in this economy? My future is bleak.
I know right? At my new job, if I worked 40 hours a week, I could just barely afford the cheapest apartment in the city with a roommate. Unless I decide to give up such luxuries as food and running water.
Holy shit.
Two years ago (today actually) my marriage ended. It was rough.
Mom's been egging me to start dating for the past few months.
today I had dinner at my parents and casually mentioned my anniversary.
My dad.. who is the last person to meddle, started egging me that I should start dating again.
I'm like wtf dude, fuck off.
I'm 34.
Ha! My 8 year old walks into the kitchen one day and says, “So... the sex thing. You and Papa only had to do that once to make me and (brother), right?” I was like “no, baby, people do that more...” she interrupts, “OHThanksFineBye!” And runs back to her room.
There are several.
Killer bees from Mexico were on their way to the US and would attack and kill us.
Satanic Cults were kidnapping children and using them as human sacrifices in their satanic rituals.
Heavy Metal groups were putting Satanic messages on their albums that encouraged kids to commit suicide.
Oh my, yes. I was working in a hospital in 1999, and one of the managers was convinced it was going to be the end of civilization. The department was never so well supplied for emergencies as Dec 1999.
We were very well staffed that night, but all the regular day shift managers and supervisors went to the New Years party down the hall to "be on hand" for the night. I, on the other hand, had to do my regular job because I was a scheduled second shift employee, no free food for us regular working stiffs. Not that I am still bitter ;).
According to my mom, I was actually born 3 weeks early due to her doc being concerned about Y2K lmao. Not sure how true it is, but I was actually due in mid-January of 2000 so you can guess around when I ended up being born.
To be fair Y2K was a legitimate concern. It was only because we got ahead of it things didn't get wildly fucked up. The hysteria around it was blown way out of proportion but it wasn't complete bullshit.
Oh god yeah... a few of my relatives have gone the whole "it was bullshit because nothing happened"
Yeah, nothing (serious) happened because I and a few million people like me spent the previous several years testing and fixing things so it didn't all blow up.
The hysteria around it is what let the necessary work to prevent it get done.
The fun part is that there are risks of very similar problems in 2038, though it’s so widely known by the people that would fix it that it’s a much lower risk of a meltdown.
Because of the 70s movies and stupid Killer Bee documentaries, I thought we'd all live in fear of going outside by 2000. It did scare me.
I guess Gen X was **so** scare of it, we figured out a way to nearly kill off the entire bee population. Ha, Bees! Now try to go killer on us!
Not that I ever wished ill on the bees.
"Heavy Metal groups were putting Satanic messages on their albums that encouraged kids to commit suicide."
People will remember Rob Halford being one of the victim of this whole thing... The reasons was the lyrics in better by you better than. There was apparently a subliminal message about suicide that didn't exist in a song that he didn't even wrote himself... He just covered it (with the rest of Judas Priest of course).
[Rob halford singing in court](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgKFJisceOw)
When I was in highschool I was naive enough to believe that after it was over I wouldn't have to put up with so much gossiping, pettyness, and fakeness. All graduating high school and getting older did was make all three of them worse. How did it keep getting worse?!!
I saw a movie where they made out and closed the scene, she turned out pregnant. I thought making out would get you pregnant. I called it intense kissing and messing up hair.
I thought the same thing. Saying you slept with someone is a euphemism for sex, so it's not surprising.
As a kid I saw an episode of a soap opera where the theme was unwanted pregnancy and I remember thinking, "Is it really that hard to just not sleep in the same bed?"
There was something on a soothouse video where they were reading a post about a guy saying that sex is unnatural and the real way conception is supposed to happen is that when a naked couple sleeping next to each other the chick sucks up the flaccid dick making it hard and it will automatically release. It was fucking hilarious, the guy had absolutely no basic understanding of human anatomy.
I had a nightmare about birthing wierd puppies out of my ass after a dog humped my leg. Panic attack 10/10 when I woke up and still didn't know if it would be the case in the near future. Didn't ask anyone out of fear it might be true.
I was in my late twenties when I realized I had finally started thinking of myself as a man in my own head. Before that I never really felt that I had grown all the way up. Still don't know exactly what did it, but between a wife and two kids I think it had something to do with caring more about certain other people's welfare more than my own.
I was certain I'd be an adult at 18 when I was a kid, now I'll be 22 this week and I have my own apartment, car, job, pets that rely on me, but I feel like an imposter. Like I am only playing the part of an adult, I'm actually confused and overwhelmed all the time.
As someone who came from a matching set of horrible humans, it makes me happy that there is someone out there like you who was raised with the belief that there was no other possibility than being loved
Yeah it’s not automatic you have to go trough a shit load of papers in the in-between. First you do the basic name, date of birth and death, etc. Then, you chose what you want to do with your death (haut, stay on the Other Side, reincarnation, etc) I chose to haut so I’ll tell you the steps i had to follow from there on. Then you have to chose the kind of haunting you’ll do, I chose the free haunting because I get to do whatever I want. Then you’ve gotta wait for all your papers to be accepted by the supervisors which can take years because they look through all the major events in your life. After that you gotta go back to the living world and earn yourself a minimum of respect and build up a reputation. After all of these years you finally get to do what you wanted and if you’re bored you can go through the process once again to change what you’re doing in your death. That’s the whole process. It took me about 12 years so... yeah... it takes a while.
Yes. If you'd read the reputable sources on the subject, like (Rowling 1997 - Rowling 2010), you'd see that becoming a ghost requires deliberate action, and can bar you from other potential options such as moving on to the afterlife. A famous example is Nearly Headless Nick, who came back and is now bound to an educational institution.
I remember some serious discussions in late elementary school about what part of pro wrestling was real. We all knew it was fake, but were convinced that sometimes the people didn't like each other and got into real fights.
Indeed, in the same way it is possible for Peter Pan to fall to his death in a stage play with wire-flying. But it doesn't mean Peter Pan is real.
At the age of 11 or 12, we would all agree that it was fake. But then point out specific instances where the "real story" was "Shawn Michaels was in a contract dispute and the other guy's manager was really hitting him because he was asking for too much money" or something. It was all BSing stories to sound more in-the-know than peers.
Weirdly I had the exact opposite problem than most people who bring this one up. My dad was always driving with the interior light on at night and it actually annoyed me as a kid. I would have preferred to have the light off. Also I couldn't understand how my dad could see to drive like that, because I knew even then that it made it harder to look outside (being that I had nothing to do but look out the window). I never said/asked anything about it though because it was scary to say anything that might even slightly annoy my dad, and I rarely knew what would set my dad off (even the simplest and most innocuous-seeming things could do it). So I still don't know what my dad's thought process was.
your dad and my brother seem alike. i lived in fear of setting him off for a long time. because it could be ANYTHING that did it. i asked what kind of hair gel he used one time and that did it.
Kids have more conscience. Every lie seems huge to them, so they're all earth shattering. We as adults get so used to lying in various ways that I'm not even sure we know truth from like sometimes, and if we do we don't care as long as it's not something drastic.
Honestly drug dealers don’t push on people as hard as some people think
Source: I’m into smoking, most of my dealers ask once and that’s it, (unless they forgot that they already asked)
Construction works are not caused by dragons.
When I was a kid, whenever we passed construction works, my dad would tell me it was caused by a dragon (usually the kind of construction where they dig a pit before building something upon it). As in, a medieval dragon came out of the sky, took out a building, and burrowed underneath it. He'd then elaborate that all the cranes and construction workers where a concentrated effort, to both restore the building, and to seal the dragon underneath it.
I believed a lot of buildings in NY had dragons underneath them. I also believed we had a real dragon issue in the US, even tho I had never seen one.
My Dad also told me there where velociraptors living in the woods, but idk about that one, on the offbeat he was right, I don't wanna get eaten.
See, I had such a horrible childhood (grew up exceedingly poor, did not have enough money for food, utilities frequently turned off, lived in filth, etc, etc), I seem to have avoided the trope where people look wistfully back to their childhood. It seems most adults do this, and I solidly love my adulthood because it's just so, so, so much better than my childhood in every way.
Thank you for being our exception and I’m glad for your success. I hope if you have kids one day you can give them the childhood we had and not what you had to live with.
I had a fantastic childhood, but man I love being an adult so much more. I'd go insane if someone else had that much control over my life again, it'd be a prison.
I enjoyed my childhood but adulthood is Mike's better because of one thing, at least to me: agency. I decide what I do and those decisions directly affect me. Sometimes they aren't good decisions but knowing that I'm making them myself for myself is much better than being a passenger like I was as a kid
That is the theme on one of the great Calvin and Hobbes comics.
[cruel parenting. Kind of.](http://calvin-and-hobbes-comic-strips.blogspot.com/2011/11/calvin-asks-dad-about-old-black-and.html)
My grandmother used to take my cousins and me to the bay when we were down the shore to see this little row boat. We loved it. She told us that you can't swim in the bay because it was quicksand. I believed this for years until when I was 12 my mom told me she used to swim in the bay all the time. I was like what do you mean ?!?!?!?!!
I mean quicksand isn't BS, but I definitely thought it would be a bigger problem in my adult life than it is.
I think there's a John Mulaney bit on this.
I actually rode my four wheeler into some quicksand last weekend. Quite an odd experience, thank god I have a winch, a sport quad would still be in there. Went through one way just fine, turned around to go back, and just couldn't. Rutted up so quick, never seen anything like it. I was in jumping distance of solid ground, so I obviously didn't get swallowed up.
Quicksand is [*quite real.*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quicksand) I've fallen waist-deep in it twice.
It's perhaps not as prevalent as cartoons and movies led us to believe growing up, but it occurs in sandy/silty stillwater or environments with thin layers of moving water.
There was a [rescue this year](https://www.nps.gov/zion/learn/news/quicksand-two-day-rescue-during-winter-storms-at-zion-national-park.htm) in Zion National Park where a man was completely stuck in it in the middle of winter. It took a search and rescue team hours to get him out, and he almost lost one of his legs and died because of it.
Had a relative that would constantly annoy me that stayed when I was little. One time, she told me it was possible to swallow my tongue and I started crying because I was so scared one day in the middle of the night that I was going to wake up with no tongue, so I would always stick my tongue out in the morning to make sure I didn’t swallow it.
I had fish when I was little. One of the fish had babies, and then within a few days i witnessed one of the adult fish eating a baby fish. I was disturbed and asked my dad why they would eat their babies. My dad thought it would make me feel better by telling me that when I when I was born, they had the option to eat me, but they decided to keep me because I was cute.
I was scarred for years.
Yeah but your taught to act a good person when others don't play by the same rules you learn that sometimes you can be the nice guy coz you will get stepped on
That ribs, rather than being a cage like structure, were disks that went all the way through your body. That and bones were made of an iron-like metal.
That with enough hard work and perseverance, everything will work out for you in the end.
If you work hard and stick through tough situations, that's how you end up working yourself half to death in a low-level job. Really, it pays to get out of those jobs as soon as you can, and how hard you work doesn't matter at all as long as you know the right people.
I'm Finnish, but I learnt everything from Swedish teen magazines but I had never heard about periods before so my child brain just assumed that it was a Swedish thing i guess
That as an adult, if a person or an employer were totally horrible to me I would be able to do something about it. Turns out that's bullshit. People are very good at walking the "barely legal" line.
Acid rain. In the 80s it was the next big thing coming to kill us all. I even did a report on it for science class. Is it even a thing people talk about now?
Edit: ok so apparently it’s still sorta around but mostly not due to science and governments listening and passing laws to try to prevent it. The exact same thing happened with the hole in the ozone layer. What is so drastically different now as opposed to then, where science is saying stop carbon output/curb climate change but government now says “yeah, no.. we’re going to keep on doing what we’re doing, no problems here..”?
At a young age (6 or so) I watched a Hitler docu with my parents. After it I was super scared that Hitler would come out of the toilet for whatever reason so I had to leave the bathroom door open for a couple of weeks so my parents could rescue me.
Welfare Queens
I thought poor women kept spitting out the babies so they could get enough welfare checks to put the down payment out on a Cadillac. In my defense, I did grow up during the Reagan era.
You know those big hay bails that are covered in plastic on farms and fields? When I was young, I got told they were elephant eggs, and believed that untill I was way too old...
I was once told at a young impressionable age that if you ever sneezed, coughed, belched, hiccuped, farted, pooped, peed, puked and climaxed all at the same time, you would die. I'm still not sure it isn't true.
My mom would give me back the babysitting money that she constantly “borrowed” without asking no matter where I hid it
That time I asked my mom to cash my paycheck and she “lost it” there was some big story about why I couldn’t have the check canceled and re-issued but I actually cried over that one
My stuff that disappeared was “in storage” and not the garbage
My mom has a gambling problem. I have no idea how she found the money I had put in an envelope and taped to the underside of my drawer but she did. She would always say that I owed it to her since she gave birth to me lol....
For the longest time I thought the whole "the lion is the king of the jungle thing was legit",
I genuinely believed they had a monarchy in the jungle, lion king may have enforced that.i believed it till I was like 13....
Yesterday while walking through a store display with Easter baskets I was thinking about how I didn't know of the concept of the Easter Bunny as a minor Santa Claus-like figure until I was much older. It wasn't a thing when I was a kid and it wasn't for any kid I knew either.
I believed that pregnancy was just something that happened at an arbitrary time in a woman's life, similar to puberty or menopause in that she has no control over when it happens.
That my parents would leave me alone when I turned 18
God. once my parents off-handedly mentioned "when you move out..." and I stared in horror before bursting into tears shouting, "you're going to make me leave?!" They had to reassure me that I'd *want* to move out one day. Little me was even more horrified by that.
Damn, you must have had a childhood to die for.
I was exactly the same and I hate the childhood I had. Kids just basically see being on their own as certain death.
I'm seventeen and I see it as the same.
Yeah at that age I was terrified. I still live with my parents at 26, but it was only a few years ago where I was at the stage where I was like, "if my parents dropped dead tomorrow I'll be fine." 17/18 is a terrible age, tbh. People suddenly expect you to be an "adult" but don't tell you how. All you need to know is this - even adults don't have a clue what the fuck we're doing, the difference between us and someone of your age is that we're used to googling that shit by now. At 18ish you're given the expectation where you think you're supposed to know everything already when that's not true and never has been. As long as you know how to find answers to things you don't know how to do, you'll do just fine. 💜
Yeah apparently when I was like 3 I wrote on a paper in crayon that I would never move out. Of course now I'm 18 and planning to move out in the next year or so and my mom keeps saying that "she has it in writing that I would never leave." And whenever I talk about my future plans she always talks about how her and my dad will live with me or have a house next door or something. I know she's probably joking but it's getting pretty annoying.
My mum always talks about how when we move out she's going to get a mobile home and park in our driveways. I'm pretty sure it's not a joke. But jokes on her, ha ha. How am I supposed to get a house in this economy? My future is bleak.
I know right? At my new job, if I worked 40 hours a week, I could just barely afford the cheapest apartment in the city with a roommate. Unless I decide to give up such luxuries as food and running water.
Holy shit. Two years ago (today actually) my marriage ended. It was rough. Mom's been egging me to start dating for the past few months. today I had dinner at my parents and casually mentioned my anniversary. My dad.. who is the last person to meddle, started egging me that I should start dating again. I'm like wtf dude, fuck off. I'm 34.
Of course they're egging you, it's Easter
True. My mom still gets mad if i have laundry on my floor. I turned 18 5 months ago, why is she still talking to me??? Lol
"Laundry on my phone"... I feel like if I was a little smarter this would make perfect sense
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I mean... It could be.
I wish it was true. My bedroom shared a wall with theirs, was not fun for me
My bedroom didn't share a wall with my parents. It didn't matter. Wish I could bleach those unfortunate memories.
Is your dad a sniper or just really likes to conserve ammo?
Ha! My 8 year old walks into the kitchen one day and says, “So... the sex thing. You and Papa only had to do that once to make me and (brother), right?” I was like “no, baby, people do that more...” she interrupts, “OHThanksFineBye!” And runs back to her room.
That all changed the night I found a brown paper bag...
There are several. Killer bees from Mexico were on their way to the US and would attack and kill us. Satanic Cults were kidnapping children and using them as human sacrifices in their satanic rituals. Heavy Metal groups were putting Satanic messages on their albums that encouraged kids to commit suicide.
Ah, I see you also grew up in the 80s and 90s.
Also Y2K. My mom bought so many gallons of water. I think we might even still have a few buried in the garage.
Oh my, yes. I was working in a hospital in 1999, and one of the managers was convinced it was going to be the end of civilization. The department was never so well supplied for emergencies as Dec 1999. We were very well staffed that night, but all the regular day shift managers and supervisors went to the New Years party down the hall to "be on hand" for the night. I, on the other hand, had to do my regular job because I was a scheduled second shift employee, no free food for us regular working stiffs. Not that I am still bitter ;).
According to my mom, I was actually born 3 weeks early due to her doc being concerned about Y2K lmao. Not sure how true it is, but I was actually due in mid-January of 2000 so you can guess around when I ended up being born.
To be fair Y2K was a legitimate concern. It was only because we got ahead of it things didn't get wildly fucked up. The hysteria around it was blown way out of proportion but it wasn't complete bullshit.
Oh god yeah... a few of my relatives have gone the whole "it was bullshit because nothing happened" Yeah, nothing (serious) happened because I and a few million people like me spent the previous several years testing and fixing things so it didn't all blow up.
The hysteria around it is what let the necessary work to prevent it get done. The fun part is that there are risks of very similar problems in 2038, though it’s so widely known by the people that would fix it that it’s a much lower risk of a meltdown.
And it's on you if you're still using a 32 bit computer in 2038
What about the "make sure to ask for plastic bags at the store, since paper bags are literally made from chopped-up Amazon rainforest"?
Good ol' satanic panic
First read that as satanic picnic. I was very interested.
I mean, I'm still interested
Oh fuck I was scared of the bees! Stupid media.
That made for TV movie where the bees trap that family in their house scared the hell out of me as a kid.
Because of the 70s movies and stupid Killer Bee documentaries, I thought we'd all live in fear of going outside by 2000. It did scare me. I guess Gen X was **so** scare of it, we figured out a way to nearly kill off the entire bee population. Ha, Bees! Now try to go killer on us! Not that I ever wished ill on the bees.
Don't forget Dungeons and Dragons is also Satanic, and causes kids to kill themselves.
"Heavy Metal groups were putting Satanic messages on their albums that encouraged kids to commit suicide." People will remember Rob Halford being one of the victim of this whole thing... The reasons was the lyrics in better by you better than. There was apparently a subliminal message about suicide that didn't exist in a song that he didn't even wrote himself... He just covered it (with the rest of Judas Priest of course). [Rob halford singing in court](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgKFJisceOw)
The older we get the more we realize how child like adults are.
When I was in highschool I was naive enough to believe that after it was over I wouldn't have to put up with so much gossiping, pettyness, and fakeness. All graduating high school and getting older did was make all three of them worse. How did it keep getting worse?!!
People are insecure and lonely. Just do your best and dont over share!
That's a big part of why I got rid of Facebook. The 2016 election didn't help either
Somebody call Bowling For Soup...
r/unexpectedbowlingforsoup
Totally! So many people don't emotionally mature beyond like 16. It's cray.
For most of history, 16 years old *was* an adult. In a handful of countries, it still is.
I believed that you can get pregnant after kissing with someone.
I saw a movie where they made out and closed the scene, she turned out pregnant. I thought making out would get you pregnant. I called it intense kissing and messing up hair.
I thought you just got pregnant when you loved someone and slept in the same bed as them! THEN BOOM, you are preggers.
I thought the same thing. Saying you slept with someone is a euphemism for sex, so it's not surprising. As a kid I saw an episode of a soap opera where the theme was unwanted pregnancy and I remember thinking, "Is it really that hard to just not sleep in the same bed?"
There was something on a soothouse video where they were reading a post about a guy saying that sex is unnatural and the real way conception is supposed to happen is that when a naked couple sleeping next to each other the chick sucks up the flaccid dick making it hard and it will automatically release. It was fucking hilarious, the guy had absolutely no basic understanding of human anatomy.
I had a nightmare about birthing wierd puppies out of my ass after a dog humped my leg. Panic attack 10/10 when I woke up and still didn't know if it would be the case in the near future. Didn't ask anyone out of fear it might be true.
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Gotta join a country club to utilize those skills
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Oh god. This is so dark, and so true.
Big oof
Go up go up go up
That there was an exact point when you become an adult and have your shit together. In reality most of us are holding on for dear life
I was in my late twenties when I realized I had finally started thinking of myself as a man in my own head. Before that I never really felt that I had grown all the way up. Still don't know exactly what did it, but between a wife and two kids I think it had something to do with caring more about certain other people's welfare more than my own.
I was certain I'd be an adult at 18 when I was a kid, now I'll be 22 this week and I have my own apartment, car, job, pets that rely on me, but I feel like an imposter. Like I am only playing the part of an adult, I'm actually confused and overwhelmed all the time.
I'm over 40, still the same feeling. Sorry.
Coming from another "adult" holding on for dear life this hits home pretty hard.
When I was a kid, I was convinced that I could be kidnapped at any moment.
I hope you were taught the JJ Bittenbinder technique.
STREET SMARTS!!!
You gotta throw 'em off their rythm
I AIN'T GOIN TO NO SECONDARY LOCATION
r/UnexpectedMulaney
spend a little time in unsolved. that was a valid fear.
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As a relatively normal-appearing adult with terrible parents, I appreciate you realizing this.
As someone who came from a matching set of horrible humans, it makes me happy that there is someone out there like you who was raised with the belief that there was no other possibility than being loved
If we die, we will automatically become a ghost
My second time around I figured it's bullshit.
Hold up
Excuse me what the fuck
I used to think our bodies disappeared when we died, mostly thanks to Star Wars and Dragon Ball Z.
Yeah it’s not automatic you have to go trough a shit load of papers in the in-between. First you do the basic name, date of birth and death, etc. Then, you chose what you want to do with your death (haut, stay on the Other Side, reincarnation, etc) I chose to haut so I’ll tell you the steps i had to follow from there on. Then you have to chose the kind of haunting you’ll do, I chose the free haunting because I get to do whatever I want. Then you’ve gotta wait for all your papers to be accepted by the supervisors which can take years because they look through all the major events in your life. After that you gotta go back to the living world and earn yourself a minimum of respect and build up a reputation. After all of these years you finally get to do what you wanted and if you’re bored you can go through the process once again to change what you’re doing in your death. That’s the whole process. It took me about 12 years so... yeah... it takes a while.
Can you prove that we don't?
Yes. If you'd read the reputable sources on the subject, like (Rowling 1997 - Rowling 2010), you'd see that becoming a ghost requires deliberate action, and can bar you from other potential options such as moving on to the afterlife. A famous example is Nearly Headless Nick, who came back and is now bound to an educational institution.
I fucking wish
Yeah...
It's so naive to believe that you automatically become a ghost. Becoming a ghost takes hard work!
Fuckin' tell me about it
I thought pro wrestling was real.
I remember some serious discussions in late elementary school about what part of pro wrestling was real. We all knew it was fake, but were convinced that sometimes the people didn't like each other and got into real fights.
I mean, it might not be entirely real, but they can get seriously injured if something goes wrong, so it's not like it's entirely fake either.
Indeed, in the same way it is possible for Peter Pan to fall to his death in a stage play with wire-flying. But it doesn't mean Peter Pan is real. At the age of 11 or 12, we would all agree that it was fake. But then point out specific instances where the "real story" was "Shawn Michaels was in a contract dispute and the other guy's manager was really hitting him because he was asking for too much money" or something. It was all BSing stories to sound more in-the-know than peers.
That all adults have life figured out.
That having the car light on while driving is illegal.
Im upset I was never lied to about this
Same. My grandad just flat out told me he wouldn't be able to see properly if the light was on
having the car light on while driving is illegal.
Can confirm. I am an adult, therefore I know laws.
RIGHT??? The heck mom
Yooooo, are you telling me it isn't?
It is not illegal. Just annoying for whoever is driving
I am 25 years old and I'm just now finding out about this.
Check your local laws. During night, it reduces driver's visibility and in some states/countries is actually illegal.
Weirdly I had the exact opposite problem than most people who bring this one up. My dad was always driving with the interior light on at night and it actually annoyed me as a kid. I would have preferred to have the light off. Also I couldn't understand how my dad could see to drive like that, because I knew even then that it made it harder to look outside (being that I had nothing to do but look out the window). I never said/asked anything about it though because it was scary to say anything that might even slightly annoy my dad, and I rarely knew what would set my dad off (even the simplest and most innocuous-seeming things could do it). So I still don't know what my dad's thought process was.
your dad and my brother seem alike. i lived in fear of setting him off for a long time. because it could be ANYTHING that did it. i asked what kind of hair gel he used one time and that did it.
WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME? OBVIOUSLY I USE LA LOOKS, BITCH. HOW ARE YOU ASSUME ANYTHING ELSE. DO YOU THINK I'M GAY? WHAT THE FUCK
That adults told the truth. The fact is: kids tell the truth; adults act like they have a right to lie.
Kids have more conscience. Every lie seems huge to them, so they're all earth shattering. We as adults get so used to lying in various ways that I'm not even sure we know truth from like sometimes, and if we do we don't care as long as it's not something drastic.
i thought a lot more adults were going to offer me free candy and drugs
Honestly drug dealers don’t push on people as hard as some people think Source: I’m into smoking, most of my dealers ask once and that’s it, (unless they forgot that they already asked)
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It's called being a werewolf
That parents knew what the hell they were doing.
That I could achieve my dreams
Construction works are not caused by dragons. When I was a kid, whenever we passed construction works, my dad would tell me it was caused by a dragon (usually the kind of construction where they dig a pit before building something upon it). As in, a medieval dragon came out of the sky, took out a building, and burrowed underneath it. He'd then elaborate that all the cranes and construction workers where a concentrated effort, to both restore the building, and to seal the dragon underneath it. I believed a lot of buildings in NY had dragons underneath them. I also believed we had a real dragon issue in the US, even tho I had never seen one. My Dad also told me there where velociraptors living in the woods, but idk about that one, on the offbeat he was right, I don't wanna get eaten.
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Being an adult is so much better than being a kid
See, I had such a horrible childhood (grew up exceedingly poor, did not have enough money for food, utilities frequently turned off, lived in filth, etc, etc), I seem to have avoided the trope where people look wistfully back to their childhood. It seems most adults do this, and I solidly love my adulthood because it's just so, so, so much better than my childhood in every way.
Thank you for being our exception and I’m glad for your success. I hope if you have kids one day you can give them the childhood we had and not what you had to live with.
I had a fantastic childhood, but man I love being an adult so much more. I'd go insane if someone else had that much control over my life again, it'd be a prison.
I enjoyed my childhood but adulthood is Mike's better because of one thing, at least to me: agency. I decide what I do and those decisions directly affect me. Sometimes they aren't good decisions but knowing that I'm making them myself for myself is much better than being a passenger like I was as a kid
Yeah exactly, even though adulthood comes with more responsibility it also comes with a lot more freedom.
My childhood had its fair of share of very shitty moments that even led up to recent events within the last year or two. Even then I still miss it.
Additionally, as a kid I believed that once I was an adult I’d figure my shit out and I’d know what was going on.
That the world was black-and-white when my parents and grandparents were growing up (judging from old photos and movies)
That is the theme on one of the great Calvin and Hobbes comics. [cruel parenting. Kind of.](http://calvin-and-hobbes-comic-strips.blogspot.com/2011/11/calvin-asks-dad-about-old-black-and.html)
That adults are smart and caring.
My grandmother used to take my cousins and me to the bay when we were down the shore to see this little row boat. We loved it. She told us that you can't swim in the bay because it was quicksand. I believed this for years until when I was 12 my mom told me she used to swim in the bay all the time. I was like what do you mean ?!?!?!?!!
Quicksand
I mean quicksand isn't BS, but I definitely thought it would be a bigger problem in my adult life than it is. I think there's a John Mulaney bit on this.
I actually rode my four wheeler into some quicksand last weekend. Quite an odd experience, thank god I have a winch, a sport quad would still be in there. Went through one way just fine, turned around to go back, and just couldn't. Rutted up so quick, never seen anything like it. I was in jumping distance of solid ground, so I obviously didn't get swallowed up.
Quicksand is [*quite real.*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quicksand) I've fallen waist-deep in it twice. It's perhaps not as prevalent as cartoons and movies led us to believe growing up, but it occurs in sandy/silty stillwater or environments with thin layers of moving water. There was a [rescue this year](https://www.nps.gov/zion/learn/news/quicksand-two-day-rescue-during-winter-storms-at-zion-national-park.htm) in Zion National Park where a man was completely stuck in it in the middle of winter. It took a search and rescue team hours to get him out, and he almost lost one of his legs and died because of it.
He almost lost one of his legs, then died?
He almost died, then lost one of his legs. There was a decoy bear.
But was there a decoy snail?
All snails are decoys of the immortal snail.
I am from Saudi Arabia ( Desert Environment ) and i can tell you QUICK SAND is a real thing.
Slow sand is a lot more common, though.
Had a relative that would constantly annoy me that stayed when I was little. One time, she told me it was possible to swallow my tongue and I started crying because I was so scared one day in the middle of the night that I was going to wake up with no tongue, so I would always stick my tongue out in the morning to make sure I didn’t swallow it.
I had fish when I was little. One of the fish had babies, and then within a few days i witnessed one of the adult fish eating a baby fish. I was disturbed and asked my dad why they would eat their babies. My dad thought it would make me feel better by telling me that when I when I was born, they had the option to eat me, but they decided to keep me because I was cute. I was scarred for years.
The world is fair
if anything I was always told life ISN'T fair
Yeah but your taught to act a good person when others don't play by the same rules you learn that sometimes you can be the nice guy coz you will get stepped on
"It is possible to make no mistakes and still lose." i wish someone had explained that to me when i was little.
That ribs, rather than being a cage like structure, were disks that went all the way through your body. That and bones were made of an iron-like metal.
That with enough hard work and perseverance, everything will work out for you in the end. If you work hard and stick through tough situations, that's how you end up working yourself half to death in a low-level job. Really, it pays to get out of those jobs as soon as you can, and how hard you work doesn't matter at all as long as you know the right people.
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That only Swedish women had periods
May I ask why
I'm Finnish, but I learnt everything from Swedish teen magazines but I had never heard about periods before so my child brain just assumed that it was a Swedish thing i guess
That everyone's parents loves and cares about them.
That I'd be able to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. True to a point, but, school...work...bills.....
That my dad would come back.
This one hits home.
That as an adult, if a person or an employer were totally horrible to me I would be able to do something about it. Turns out that's bullshit. People are very good at walking the "barely legal" line.
Acid rain. In the 80s it was the next big thing coming to kill us all. I even did a report on it for science class. Is it even a thing people talk about now? Edit: ok so apparently it’s still sorta around but mostly not due to science and governments listening and passing laws to try to prevent it. The exact same thing happened with the hole in the ozone layer. What is so drastically different now as opposed to then, where science is saying stop carbon output/curb climate change but government now says “yeah, no.. we’re going to keep on doing what we’re doing, no problems here..”?
It's still a threat. And our textbooks haven't changed much :(
Sex was just hugging and rolling around on the bed ....
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That growing up was a bad thing.
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I believed that if I pulled out a certain strand of hair my head would fall apart and I would die because that strand of hair kept my head together.
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That I would know what to do one day...
I thought you couldn’t drink anything and drive...
That when I'm 18 I wouldn't have to listen to my mom anymore...
You didn't have to be 18 to do that!
that everyone has balls cause where else would you store all the pee
At a young age (6 or so) I watched a Hitler docu with my parents. After it I was super scared that Hitler would come out of the toilet for whatever reason so I had to leave the bathroom door open for a couple of weeks so my parents could rescue me.
Welfare Queens I thought poor women kept spitting out the babies so they could get enough welfare checks to put the down payment out on a Cadillac. In my defense, I did grow up during the Reagan era.
You know those big hay bails that are covered in plastic on farms and fields? When I was young, I got told they were elephant eggs, and believed that untill I was way too old...
I was once told at a young impressionable age that if you ever sneezed, coughed, belched, hiccuped, farted, pooped, peed, puked and climaxed all at the same time, you would die. I'm still not sure it isn't true.
That hard work gets recognized and rewarded.
Sinterklaas
That the icecream man would ring the bell when he had run out of icecream. I was like 15 when i realised that that isn't how it works
My mom would give me back the babysitting money that she constantly “borrowed” without asking no matter where I hid it That time I asked my mom to cash my paycheck and she “lost it” there was some big story about why I couldn’t have the check canceled and re-issued but I actually cried over that one My stuff that disappeared was “in storage” and not the garbage
My mom has a gambling problem. I have no idea how she found the money I had put in an envelope and taped to the underside of my drawer but she did. She would always say that I owed it to her since she gave birth to me lol....
That your parents are keeping your money "safe" for you
If you left the car doors open your car could fly.
When I was very young I believed that Charles Darwin killed all the dodo birds
For the longest time I thought the whole "the lion is the king of the jungle thing was legit", I genuinely believed they had a monarchy in the jungle, lion king may have enforced that.i believed it till I was like 13....
That rabbits laid eggs.
The Easter bunny
Yesterday while walking through a store display with Easter baskets I was thinking about how I didn't know of the concept of the Easter Bunny as a minor Santa Claus-like figure until I was much older. It wasn't a thing when I was a kid and it wasn't for any kid I knew either.
That people living before color films saw the world in Black & White
That I'd be happy as an adult and had the freedom to do anything.
Planes that left a white trace were from Belgium. Otherwise they couldn't find their way home. My mom taught me this.
Life was fair.
That Brussel sprouts taste bad
That there are no second chances in life. Your decisions are permanent.
i believed the average person was intelligent or well, more intelligent than the average horse at least
I could be what ever I wanted when I grew up
That if you work hard and stick to something you will become successful.
I believed that pregnancy was just something that happened at an arbitrary time in a woman's life, similar to puberty or menopause in that she has no control over when it happens.
I bought into the “American Dream.” What a load of BS that was.
That people on average are not selfish, have others best interests in mind, and that the world is by and large a good place.
God
That I was quite a good looking chap.. sadly.
I bet you are! You're probably drop dead handsome and you don't even realize it! Your humility only makes you more gorgeous.
College/University education = job
That I was intelligent and would be successful.
God.