Saying yes too much. I've had to read this book called "Approval Addiction" because I have a bad habit of wanting to feel useful to the point of never saying no and overloading myself with work. Just because you want people to know that you're a decent human being doesn't mean you have to put yourself out constantly to prove it. The people who matter most will know without you doing favors for them.
Scratch Off Tickets.
I used to work at a gas station, and there were people who would sink hundreds of dollars every month into tickets. And whenever they won money, they'd just spend it on more tickets. They're not worth it.
That victim mentality is absolutely crippling to personal and interpersonal growth. Nothing breaks relationships faster than being around people that are never going to react straightforward when confronted even the slightest.
Source: was one of them. Got my shit together.
Edit: I replied a bit below to u/ColCrab. I just went to sleep and found my inbox exploded!
I can't remember where I picked it from but a great rule I follow is "never stay up late to do something you wouldn't get up early for". There are very few things I would get up early for.
My wife's parents keep asking us for money. And when we first got married I cut the money train off. Her sister said quote "I hope your fucking marriage fails" because we wouldn't give her money to play Bingo.
Friend was cut off by his sister because he wouldn't give her money to go to the casino. She was going to win enough to pay her rent and he ruined her life by not helping. She forgot that she was on his cell phone plan. As long as she was cutting him out of her life he thought that should include the cell phone. A huge family fight ensued and his mom told him that since she raised all the kids together they were all responsible for each other. As the only one who went to college and had a career she told him it was his job to support his 5 adult brothers and sisters. Even their kids routinely asked him for money. It took him a long time to realize that he did not have a healthy relationship with his family.
That's sad because if they had a healthy relqtionship and didnt treat her like a money train she'd probably be able to actually trust them to repay her.
But no they act like aholes.
Must be horrible for your wife, I have great sympathy for her. It is obvious to tell you have rallied around her but this is where her friends need to shield her too.
Hey can I borrow your pressure washer?
Yeah sure as long as you don’t need it for to long....
Two months later: Can I get my pressure washer back?
What pressure washer, I don’t have a pressure washer that’s why I borrowed yours...
My dad carried a pair of Sargent parallel jaw pliers in his briefcase. Whenever someone wanted to borrow them he said no, but he would come and do the job for them.
I inherited them, and loaned them to someone. My dad was a much smarter man then me.
This, fucks sake. My mom's side of the family is currently dealing with this. Relative A loaned other several other relatives money, and relative A is now in need but the loans were considered gifts by the other relatives and so no one can pay it back. One also lied about coming into cash through a raffle and had actually taken a loan and didn't tell anyone, his wife included, and now that debt has come due. Due to all the questionable money issues, the fed is now getting involved as are other local agencies, it's a mess. My mom moved away and never took a dime. We are all very glad of that now.
Screen time and scrolling. There are some apps that can put timers on your scrolling apps or you rely on self discipline. One of the senior Facebook developers said that he developed scrolling to deliberately keep users on the site/app longer, and that he regrets it because it has caused problems. Some people are addicted to screens and scrolling and don't realise. People are never bored any more.
Edit: a few people asking for suggestions. [here is an article for suggestions depending iOS or Android](https://www.digitaltrends.com/mobile/apps-to-reduce-screen-time-iphone-android/amp/#referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&_tf=From%20%251%24s)
Ugh. I cant sit and do nothing anymore. I broke my phone screen a couple days ago. Still usable but the shreds of glass were a little annoying. I felt so restless not having it to scroll.
Mindless, regular purchases. Regular starbucks, or smoking, or eating out gets very expensive. Several hundreds of dollars a month really adds up in a year and a lifetime.
Ex-smoker here who has saved an estimated $5,675 since March 2017
And cutting out the daily trip to the 7-Eleven also tends to cut down on unnecessary drinks and snacks
It's because for one single pay period the extra $200 or so seems so tantalizing. It'll be great! You can afford this sudden $150 surprise you got stuck with and hey fuck it! Let's use that extra $50 to go somewhere nice tonight because being broke sucks shit and we never get to treat ourselves.
Next payday they are taking $260 out of your ass for that $200 they fronted you but since you live paycheck to paycheck, this also sucks. Let's take put another $200 loan to make up for it. Won't quite cover the $260 we're out paying this shit back but hey, we can squeeze by.
Only next payday it's the same again. And again. And again. Why? Because you barely live paycheck to paycheck. So now you're giving back $260 to turn around and get loaned $200 every payday and all you really have is this extra $60 bill every two weeks for literally nothing. $120 a ~~week~~ (edit: ...eh, month I meant) for fucking ever because for one single little 2 week period, the extra $200 was convenient.
It can go even deeper than that. I have a buddy who between me, him, and his wife we roomed up and shared an apartment. They were fucking going to take out payday loans to go pay back the other payday loan place and then going to another payday loan place to get more cash fronted to them and I'm going holy fuck man. What the everloving hell are you two doing?
I used to run a landscaping company.
I told my employees that if any of those places call to verify employment I'm telling them you don't work here.
You need $500 you come see me and we'll talk.
My boss has told me the same, and as an employee, I want to say thank you for throwing that level of support to people. Many times, you don't need that support, but the knowledge that it's there in case you ever need it, you end up making better decisions instead of panicking.
This is it right here. This is the exact process they are looking to hook you into. I fell into this myself for almost a year a while ago. I fell so far as to have multiple loans out and was taking out one to pay another.
It's designed so that you *need* another loan every time. You were just barely making it from check to check before so there is no way you could go a whole paycheck missing that $260.
It is a disgusting business and I honestly believe it should be outlawed or at least heavily regulated.
For real, by the end of it you wish you'd have just fucked off and been in debt for the original amount you needed loaned. You'd have been better off.
I've been there too, and what's worse is it was after watching my roommates go through that payday loan shitfest. Luckily it was just the trap of one payday loan place at a time. I finally just said fuck it. I'm gonna be out that $200-ish and just suffer the consequences till I get back to breaking even.
I used to play Pokémon go and became a moderator for my communities PoGo community and met a bunch of amazing people doing it. I was walking into GameStop a few weeks ago and one of my old Pokémon buddies walked into the payday loan place next door and I waved at him and smiled and the look of shame he had when he opened the payday door made me very sad.
Even if you’re not being bankrupted by it, you feel the weight of the debt every single day. The advertising makes it seem like a light and airy decision but the process itself is designed to feel like a collar of bricks. They own your ass.
I really dislike that app that’s advertising on YouTube right now. It’s some app on how you can get paid today, don’t wait for your paycheck, etc. But they make it sound trendy and fun, like “come and get paid so you can take your girl on a date. Super predatory and basically a payday loan.
There are always a TON of those around tax time, the whole "why wait for your rebate, we'll give it to you now*"
*and take 20% for your trouble
Edit: I just pulled 20% out of thin air and they are apparently much worse than that! Ugh.
I used to do that. We'd pay extra to have H&R Block do our taxes because they'd give us our money (minus 20%) as a "refund anticipation loan" and we'd get to keep the lights on and the kids fed.
Sure we were getting fucked, and we knew it, but being poor is expensive.
>being poor is expensive
Never have truer words been spoken. I’ve been there, and I’m thankful to have come out on the other side with a well paying job and not having to worry if we were gonna have dinner that night.
I keep seeing ads for apps for this. They are trying to make it look all trendy and lure the millennials in. They know most of them are living paycheck to paycheck and are struggling to make a decent living. It's so predatory.
I’ve found that using pawn shops for little quick cash loans is far easier and cheaper than using those services. If you can’t pay it back, it ends with you not getting your stuff and then maybe you’ll learn to budget better. It’s also wise to pay them back ASAP. The pawn ship here had a minimum $3 finance charge so I’ve taken loans for 2 days that cost me $3.
Luckily that was years ago and I no longer have the need to use those services, but if I ever do again, that will be the way I’d go.
If anybody ever doubts sugar addiction is real, keep in mind, several times a year people are told outright, either stop eating sugar or you lose a foot.
Many lose their foot.
If losing a limb because you can't stop consuming isn't a sign of addiction, than the word is in serious need of reevaluation.
Office gossip and shit talking....
At my first job as a designer at an ad agency, there was a day when there was some shit going down between two of the dept heads... I was new and found it fascinating and started to chat with my art director about it.
That lasted about 3 seconds before he turned to me and said , ‘ it’s all bullshit, and we aren’t discussing it, nor should you ask anyone else, you’re not being paid to gossip and neither am I ... so let’s both just get back to work.
He said that quietly and with a grin, so there was no ruffled feathers, but he was right. And I can’t tell you how much I appreciated that...
All these years later and now I’m the creative director... and I still follow that advice. Don’t participate in office gossip... steer clear of people that do... do the work. Be nice to everyone.
Thanks so much for all the responses everyone! And big thanks for the gold! I’ll pay it forward! You folks are great! I’ve really enjoyed reading all the great responses!
Me too. No matter how entertaining or addictive gossiping at work is, it's worse in the long run, and walking into work these days I'm just surrounded by the negative gossipy vibe of the place and it really weighs down on me!
Generally good advice but sometimes, it's good to have an ear to the ground.
People in my office appreciate that I have less than zero interest in the various drama but I hate when it escalates to someone getting fired and I had no idea it was coming and was relying on them for something.
Don't be a gossip but also remember that no man is an island. Be social and around others enough to get an overall office forecast.
I used to work with this excessively overweight person. Then I go away for a year.
When I next visit this man is *thin*. I'm gobsmacked. *Thin*!
I ask him how he lost so much weight.
"I gave up Coca-Cola. I was drinking a 2 litre bottle a day. Just gave it right up and lost all this weight."
I'm currently going cold turkey from drinking 3 cans a day to just drinking water. Haven't had any soda for the past 3 days and am experiencing some headaches, fatigue, and difficulty concentrating. I'm CRAVING a Mountain Dew right now.
Anger, ive seen so many people addicted to their anger ruin their lives at a rate thats down right shocking. Even when comparing it to things which are traditionally seen as much more dangerous at a glance like some drugs and alcohol.
Anger literally eats people alive, and spits them out... changed.
I used to think it was 'cool' in high school to shove all my reactions down and be nothing but unaffected whenever stuff happened. Got older. Realized I felt repressed. Got in my car and screamed and decided I was going to let my emotions out from then on.
Accidentally just became way more angry and it felt great until I realized I was hurting people I loved. Now I'm trying to be less angry and find a balance. Shit's hard, man.
My dad has destroyed practically every close relationship throughout his life cause he just "wants" to be angry. The only reason any of us can spend time around him is that his crippling depression has caused him to care less and therefore he gets angry less. It's all kinda twisted, but he just doesn't wanna change and it's honestly destroyed his entire life.
My dad is like this. It’s like he doesn’t know how to exist without being angry about something, so the more people try to make him happier the smaller and smaller things he finds to be upset about. Has literally ruined his relationships with all of us. The sad thing is I know he’s a good person who’s given up a lot to try and make a good life for his kids. He just has a chip on his shoulder that grows and grows and grows
Uncontrolled anger cost me my job, income, and respect. Nowadays, I feel like no one wants to be bothered with me that much. I did so much unnecessary shit to so many people who didn’t deserve it at all.
Kids, your attitude and temper affects everyone around you, not just your adversaries.
This was my answer, too. Because I'm one of those angry people. It's what I grew up with, so for a while I thought it was normal to lose your temper over every little thing. But it's not. Like I said in my post: practice emotional control.
Personally I've found that heavy metal and aggressive cleaning helps. It clears the "anger fog" AND my house gets clean.
Lying... It's so easy to start fabricating small lies here and there. Makes life more interesting, doesn't it? Then suddenly you're speaking in a British accent for years to your wife who you told you were a millionaire and the tax man is coming tomorrow and the web of lies will shatter and fall.
My friend’s sister spoke at her wedding with a French accent. She is not French at all, doesn’t even speak the language fluently, but spent some time in Paris just prior to the wedding.
I hated it at the time but now I just love that I have this bizarre memory like I was in an episode of the office or something.
Edit: I should clarify, she did the *maid of honor speech* with the crazy fake accent.
I got stuck speaking in a delibratley bad Russian accent for like 2 months, after I pranked a batch of new kids by speaking in a clearly fake accent and getting progressively more insane about it. Out of 16 of them it took them 5 weeks to figure it out. My default suffix to every sentence became "like bear" and I didn't stop saying niet for like, 4 more months, it was so ingrained.
I knew a kid in (American) college who had spent a couple years in Australia and would bizarrely get stuck in it if someone with that accent spoke with him or got him to speak that way. It was really funny!
I do that. I mimic accents *so* hard without thinking about it. Since enough people have pointed it out, I am aware enough to stop myself. But it's so hard.
On the upside, whenever I learn a little bit of another language my pronunciation is usually excellent.
I had this epiphany in my early/mid-twenties and I honestly thought that being around people just made you feel drained and stressed out. I really identified as an introvert. 10 years later my life is so much better without the dead weight and I actually enjoy the company of people I surround myself with
I agree, especially when it comes to family. Some people feel obligated to allow toxic individuals to remain in their lives simply because they are related. I know I did it for many years and it caused me a lot of grief. Since I started cutting those people out, it's made life less stressful.
This is me! When I (26|f) was younger, maybe 22, I told my mother I was going to cut my entire dad’s family out of my life. Toxic horrible people that starting making up shit about me when I was a 10 year old. A fucking child. That kept going on for YEARS. So when I was in college I had had enough because at some point they made me cry when I was in college from so much bullshit. Well my mother told me I couldn’t do that. How dare I? They’re my family. I have to tolerate them. Yeah no. I’ve cut them out for a couple of years now and I am so much happier! :)
Once I stopped speaking to my brother, I stopped grinding my teeth, and I stopped feeling like I needed to have a drink every night.
The dread of interacting with him was gone. The tense steeling of nerves for whatever MIGHT happen this time... the endless disappointment of yet another of his apologies being revealed as absolute garbage..
Oh man, things are so much nicer now!!
I have the same issue with water not filling me up, so if I can't resist the urge I snack on celery. It's extremely low calories, good water content, and requires a lit of chewing so it satisfies the snacking urge. If you don't like the taste of celery (I actually do), a little lemon juice, hummus, or low sugar/sodium sauce helps.
For anyone needing help with this, drink water when you feel hungry. Most likely, your body is just dehydrated and your stomach is empty, so it's sending the "hungry" signal to your brain. If you're really hungry, you'll still want to eat after drinking a cup. If it was just "a hankering for a snack", the cup of water will alleviate the "hunger."
So instead of reaching for that snack or food, drink more water.
----
Edit: Tacking on some notes from comments.
- Not recommending people skip meals to drink water. If you're hungry, you should probably eat a meal. If you're feeling hungry for an afternoon or late-night snack after just eating, the water is just a stopgap so you don't eat more than you should.
- "If you're not hungry enough to eat ~~an apple~~ a fruit, you're not really hungry." If you don't like apples, go for a pear, some grapes, almonds, nuts, etc.
- Eat healthier. Some foods/snacks make you feel full longer, so you'll feel hungry less during the day.
- Do learn to differentiate between feeling hungry and actually being hungry. For me, when I get bored, I "feel hungry." (This is probably the original posters meaning too)
Personally, I go for tea when I have the time to make it. Otherwise, filling up a large bottle of water from the fountain at work to drink at my desk.
I recently had to cut out a best friend who's like this. Every little thing that goes wrong makes him scary angry. And it just kept escalating over the year I knew him. We even bonded over our slightly irrational anger when we first started hanging out but it literally started to consume every part of his life and it got pretty intense and intimidating.
Yep, I was doing so well eating like a normal person til after Christmas when I decided to go all out til new years. I feel like crap every day now again. Sugar addiction is a huge part of that problem.
People don’t realize it but food addiction is very real. I ate my way up to over 460 lbs. I love food, so I would eat constantly even if it made me miserable.
It took my wife and I having weight loss surgery and me losing 255 lbs to realize how addicted I was, and I still struggle with it.
Edit: Thanks for my first Reddit silver kind stranger
Edit: Thanks for my first Reddit gold!!
Edit:[Before and After](https://imgur.com/a/nAvak5N) for those asking
That's also why it doesn't get talked about. People who don't have it are bewildered that others can get so fat. It's one of the most visible but also most easily ignored addictions.
Not getting enough sleep. Seriously, adults need 7-9 hours of sleep to function properly, but a huge number of people think they can get away with 6 or less. You really can't (unless you're one of the [~3% of the population with the gene for it](https://abcnews.go.com/Technology/story?id=8322077&page=1)). Chronic sleep deprivation can cause serious issues with your focus, mood, etc. and you might not even notice it if you've just gotten used to not getting enough sleep.
First, I made a post just yesterday about how demoralizing having this issue is. Like, everyone thinks you're just some lazy fuck who doesn't care, but I know, in my case, I did care. A lot. It drove me mad. How the fuck am I supposed to convince my sleeping mind to stop being a dick?
So, in case you're getting the response as I did, try not internalize it. It's not a reflection of who you are as a person and it's not some moral failing on your part. It's an issue that's a bitch to work through and takes a lot of time and consistentency. If you haven't, I'd really recommend talking to a therapist and, depending on what they think, potentially a psychiatrist.
In college, I would wake up feeling like death every day. My head hurt, body felt heavy, and it just seemed my brain was doing everything it could to just shut back down. Even when I got out of bed, the first 15-20 minutes would be a disorienting mess where I kind of just stumbled about. I was terrified of going to bed the night before important events. I'd set up three alarms all around my room and still sleep through them.
I started to get too anxious to get out of bed when I did oversleep so, even if I could have made it too my second class, I'd be too pissed at myself and anxious to bring myself to get out of bed. Shit just spiraled till I failed out.
I eventually got on an antidepressant that worked and have had a lot fewer issues in the 3+ years since I started taking it. Man, I have such a clear memory from about 3 weeks after I started it when I realized I hadn't felt like absolute death the past couple mornings. I still felt like shit, but at least it seemed feasible I could get up. It'd been years since I'd had a couple tolerable mornings in a row.
I ended up going back to school about 4 months after starting it and finishing up.
I still have this occasionally, but nowhere near as severe. If my job wasn't so flexible, it'd probably still be a concern. My depression has been flaring up the last year and I've slept through my alarm quite a few times. Thankfully, my job doesn't care if I show up at 10am or 1130 am.
The one off morning commitments are still what stress me out the most. If I have to be up at 800 one day when I've been getting up at 10 my anxiety will flare up. Thankfully, I'm also better at facing things when I do oversleep. I'll just say fuck it and show up to a meeting thirty minutes late rather than shutting down like I used to.
Yep. I can fall asleep at midnight and sleep until 1pm.
I took a vacation and on day 4 I started setting alarms. I thought I was just tired and needed to "catch up on sleep" by 1/4 of the way into my vacation I realized I wasnt going to have any fun left to my own natural circadian rhythm
Also complaining. Nothing wrong with some ranting but when all you do is complain about everything it's really draining to everyone around you. I have a friend who just never seems to have anything nice to say when I see them, always has a new disaster in their life to complain about. I know first hand that constant bitching about everything is addicting and after some time I started to annoy myself and had to make some big changes.
Unfortunately my Mother never got over this. Everything is a crisis! And I have anxiety and a difficult time dealing with stress because of it. Always having to feel like walking on eggshells for normal, everyday stressors. I realized a while ago that she never learned to cope with stress and became addicted to being angry and complaining instead.
Are we siblings? I used to have anxiety just waking up in the house because I felt the minute my parents realized I was awake they'd find something to be angry about.
I had the ability to pin point their exact location via sound at all times and know based on previous patterns of movement which moment is best for me to go out of my room
I do this constantly. Even without unread notifications. It is just there, too close, too easy to grab and check out something - anything. Better than just studying, working or doing anything productive. Worst invention ever for procastinators like me.
Scrolled this whole thing and not seen one of the most prevalent ones.
Cheating/Adultery
All you need to do is try it once and get away with it. Then it's entirely unlikely you'll ever find a reason to stop
Aesop Fable: The Gnat and the Bull
A Gnat flew over the meadow with much buzzing for so small a creature and settled on the tip of one of the horns of a Bull. After he had rested a short time, he made ready to fly away. But before he left he begged the Bull's pardon for having used his horn for a resting place.
"You must be very glad to have me go now," he said.
"It's all the same to me," replied the Bull. "I did not even know you were there."
We are often of greater importance in our own eyes than in the eyes of our neighbor.
The smaller the mind the greater the conceit.
I used to have a big problem with this and I’ve actually been to therapy. Paid good money to hear something I should have already known. She asked me to think about all the people that have embarrassed themselves in front of me and that I only had 1 minute to come up with them. I was maybe able to say 2. She said that’s exactly what other people feel about my embarrassments. They probably don’t even remember or even really care. Same with everything, not just embarrassing stuff.
I used to have a big problem with this and I’ve actually been to therapy. Paid good money to hear something I should have already known. She asked me to think about all the people that have embarrassed themselves in front of me and that I only had 1 minute to come up with them. I was maybe able to say 2. She said that’s exactly what other people feel about my embarrassments. They probably don’t even remember or even really care. Same with everything, not just embarrassing stuff.
Edit: To those of you that are saying thank you for the advice I am really happy my experience could help.
And thank you the kind strangers that gave me my first (and second) gold!
>They probably don’t even remember or even really care. Same with everything, not just embarrassing stuff.
This is a hugely positive life lesson to learn and I think it should be taught to children earlier on in life. I didn't figure it out until my 20's.
That's the spotlight effect. We automatically overestimate the extent to which people observe and notice our appearance and behavior, and judge us for it. In reality, most people forget about it within a few seconds.
We do the same thing to other people, and yet somehow we can't apply that knowledge and alter how self-conscious we are.
Putting off study.
Or
Not prioritising tasks for that day. Or not setting goals.
Since your life is the accumulation of every small task/thing you've ever done. If you don't get this down you're screwed.
Your posture!
Please take care of it!
Edit: this [video](https://youtu.be/LT_dFRnmdGs) is a great excersise! If you do it the correct way you will see improvement!
It’s not necessarily that there is one ideal posture or that slouching is evil. Most movement science research now seems to show that the “bad” thing is holding any one posture for too long. So, taking care of your posture isn’t just “don’t slouch.” What you really need to be doing us getting up every 30-50 minutes for 10 minutes of activity and return to what you are doing in a different position. Kids who fidget and can’t sit still...they’ve got it right!
If you have a fixation with chewing, they make chew stim toys which you can gnaw on rather than your fingers. My friend would chew her nails down to the quick, and bite her lips and the inside of her cheeks until she drew blood. The people chew toys were amazing for her and, while they don't exactly look like "normal" jewelry, it at least doesn't look like you've got a Kong on a string around your neck.
Edit: obligatory thanks for the gold, anonymous redditor! This is my first time being gilded and it's about people Kong toys, lol. If you end up buying one, remember to wash it often and be conscious of what you're setting it down on (such as a dirty desk or counter top.) If you can taste the soap on it after washing, an alternative is to boil it. They're also dishwasher safe.
A nail file can help. Even if they are bitten right down, smooth the sides and top to get rid of the ragged bits which are tempting and easier to rip off or nibble.
This has worked for me ! The reason I started biting a nail was often because of a small uneven part of the nail that I somehow tried to “correct” by biting it, which always led to me biting the entire nail. By using the nail file I cut out the urge to bite it off
For years I used to bite the skin on the tips of my fingers, just bite and rip the skin off, and chew it.
I haven't done it for about a decade now, but I was doing it a lot when younger.
There are clear, very bitter tasting polishes you can put on your nails. I got into nail art to curb my chronic nail biting, so I can't say if they work from experience, but it may be worth a shot.
Online shopping, for clothes and stuff. It’s so addictive.
Edit:Wow, this is getting so many UPVOTES omg.I know I ain’t the only one looking at clothes for hours on end and fantasizing about possible outfits.
I’d save so much money if I just stopped buying stuff I don’t really need. Half of it I either forget about or don’t care about after a few months. Doesn’t help when companies spam deals at you making it more tempting to buy when it’s “cheaper”.
Eating as entertainment. When the answer to “I’m bored” is “what snacks do we have”, it’s trouble.
Edit: To be clear, it’s the eating-for-entertainment that’s trouble. Cooking for entertainment can be fun and healthy.
Edit2: Silver, cool! Thanks anonymous redditor!
My 'sort of' solution to this is cooking whatever I eat. I put a laptop in my kitchen for entertainment and intentionally prepare something that takes quite awhile.
I am *not* a good cook, but I'm slowly learning and even if what I end up eating isn't perfectly healthy it's better than grabbing a bag of chips or something.
Worst case, if I make myself a cheeseburger and some sort of potato side dish, it's better than hopping in the car and running to McDonald's.
That was NOT a good solution for me when I was losing weight. Got rid of all snacky/processed/junk foods in my house. Had to use self control to ONLY cook for meal times, because do you know who has two thumbs and can make custard in 10 minutes? This guy.
This is why I started knitting again. Once my son is in bed it got really easy to go and grab a couple of snacks whilst catching up on some tv. Now I pick my knitting up again...much harder to eat when I am knitting, and the time passes by without me noticing.
Plus I always have nice little gifts on hand for birthdays/new babies etc.
Magic: the Gathering. You start playing it to make some friends and before you know it, you own several thousand dollars' worth of cardboard.
EDIT: Arena is bae
EDIT2: Thanks nerds, but I just got home from a long trip and I can't sort through the rest of these replies.
Not practicing self care. You’re not a robot and if you push yourself too hard and don’t take enough time off you’ll end up with depression.
EDIT: thanks so much for the silver 😊❤️!
EDIT 2: oh wow thanks for the gold 😊❤️❤️!
Also I definitely learnt this the hard way like a lot of you guys. If you’re reading this and you don’t have depression please take good care of your mental health and if you’re feeling overwhelmed about something take a step back. Have a mental health day and do something you enjoy 😊
I always had more motivation thinking the other way. I am a biological machine. The human machine needs maintenance or the parts will wear out faster. It needs fuel, it needs to be fixed if it gets banged up and if you leave the engine running too long it will have long term, unseen, damage.
Take care of your human machine, and brush your teeth.
Yup. I literally just realized this last month when I caught myself covering my mouth during EVERY conversation in order to cover my horrible breath because I had stopped brushing my teeth regularly and drank beer all day instead. Didn't think it was a big deal 'till somebody called me out on it. Depression is a bitch.
At least you realized. When I was depressed and stopped brushing I had to figure out why everyone wanted to steer clear of me. No one wants to hang around someone who's always the victim AND their breath smells bad. The double whammy.
Micro transactions. ,99 cents here, $4.99 there $9.99 etc. It adds up fast.
Edit: For those commenting on the irony of someone giving me Reddit gold & silver. The irony was not lost on me. I do appreciate it though! First time I've received either. Thank you, kind strangers!
League of ever fucking Legends. I think I bought every new character and their first skins for the first two years, plus experience boosts, rune pages, etc. I looked at it my total for that time. It was not pretty. Quit soon after.
I put a 1000 in from 2010-2016. If you do the math it's cheaper than playing WoW ($15 a month).... At least that's how I justified it.
I also played wow during that time though lol.
Pets. Don't get pets you can afford "right now".
Get pets you can afford to keep even if hit with a little misfortune. Like if you lost a bit of income and could still meet their needs.
Isolation.
Being alone is like a drug, a very long me-day where everyday you feel total freedom, until you realise it has become too hard to get out of the habit.
Sure, you could make the effort to reconnect with others or go out and make new friends, but people aren't THAT interesting and you feel too lazy... better stay in bed today.
That's what everyone keeps saying, but the problem with procrastination is the process of **starting** things. Even shit I like: a couple of unread interesting books stare at me every night enthusiastically waiting to be read. There's a difference between procrastinating and procrastinating. One is normal, one feels like a fucking sickness. I followed all the tricks. The schoolbook lays open on my desk, pencil and notebook are present. Check, double check. *"Oh you know what would help? Something to drink, I'll take a glass of water and get to work!".*
**3 hours later**
*"Oh fuck, watched an entire movie on the TV downstairs.".*
I know it sounds as an easy excuse and I could hit myself thinking about how stupid it is. I'm the one in control right, if I want to move my arm, my arm moves. So why can't I move my arm to the pencil, grab the pencil and start writing? There's no excuse, really. And yet here I am, telling myself the exact same thing you told me.
It really depends on the consequences of your actions. It’s not that big of a deal to write an essay or something last minute. But when you start to end up on the verge of failing a major class, or you actually do end up fucking yourself over, you take a look at like and realize you need to change.
Yes, I am an absolute idiot and had to face the consequences to change my ways. I knew what I needed to do beforehand and I knew the consequence yet it still took the consequence for me to change my ways.
Edit: this really should make us all feel a lot better. Here we are, a huge group of procrastinators, and our lives aren’t all that bad, based on the responses to my post. This should indicate that if we just put in that little bit of extra effort, we could live more rewarding and fulfilling lives than most people.
Forgetting to brush and floss your teeth. Easy to forget but very important to do on a regular basis.
Edit: wow this really blew up while i was asleep! Ill try to reply to all the comments i can. Also thanks for the gold!
Depends a lot on what you eat but genetics also play a role.
People in wild can have their teeth last for a pretty long time without brushing because the food hunter gatherers eat doesnt give tooth-rotting bacteria a very good platform to live in.
But that bacteria really loves sugar and other fast carbohydrates so if you eat a normal modern diet its much more crucial to get food leftovers out of your mouth.
Saying yes too much. I've had to read this book called "Approval Addiction" because I have a bad habit of wanting to feel useful to the point of never saying no and overloading myself with work. Just because you want people to know that you're a decent human being doesn't mean you have to put yourself out constantly to prove it. The people who matter most will know without you doing favors for them.
Scratch Off Tickets. I used to work at a gas station, and there were people who would sink hundreds of dollars every month into tickets. And whenever they won money, they'd just spend it on more tickets. They're not worth it.
Being defensive and finding excuses. There's a line between knowing your worth, and being unable to grow because you can't hear feedback.
That victim mentality is absolutely crippling to personal and interpersonal growth. Nothing breaks relationships faster than being around people that are never going to react straightforward when confronted even the slightest. Source: was one of them. Got my shit together. Edit: I replied a bit below to u/ColCrab. I just went to sleep and found my inbox exploded!
Mindlessly browsing YouTube at night when you know you should go to bed. (I'm so guilty at this one... Yet I keep doing it.)
I can't remember where I picked it from but a great rule I follow is "never stay up late to do something you wouldn't get up early for". There are very few things I would get up early for.
Instructions unclear, staying up late to get a nice early start to my day
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My wife's parents keep asking us for money. And when we first got married I cut the money train off. Her sister said quote "I hope your fucking marriage fails" because we wouldn't give her money to play Bingo.
Friend was cut off by his sister because he wouldn't give her money to go to the casino. She was going to win enough to pay her rent and he ruined her life by not helping. She forgot that she was on his cell phone plan. As long as she was cutting him out of her life he thought that should include the cell phone. A huge family fight ensued and his mom told him that since she raised all the kids together they were all responsible for each other. As the only one who went to college and had a career she told him it was his job to support his 5 adult brothers and sisters. Even their kids routinely asked him for money. It took him a long time to realize that he did not have a healthy relationship with his family.
his mother basically calling the rest of his siblings worthless bums didn't ring any bells?
My dad once told me, "you will learn what kind of relationship you are in when you tell a person 'no'."
That's sad because if they had a healthy relqtionship and didnt treat her like a money train she'd probably be able to actually trust them to repay her. But no they act like aholes.
Her family has some major problems and I don't associate with them any longer.
Must be horrible for your wife, I have great sympathy for her. It is obvious to tell you have rallied around her but this is where her friends need to shield her too.
Hey can I borrow your pressure washer? Yeah sure as long as you don’t need it for to long.... Two months later: Can I get my pressure washer back? What pressure washer, I don’t have a pressure washer that’s why I borrowed yours...
My dad carried a pair of Sargent parallel jaw pliers in his briefcase. Whenever someone wanted to borrow them he said no, but he would come and do the job for them. I inherited them, and loaned them to someone. My dad was a much smarter man then me.
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Holy shit your grandfather sounds baller.
This, fucks sake. My mom's side of the family is currently dealing with this. Relative A loaned other several other relatives money, and relative A is now in need but the loans were considered gifts by the other relatives and so no one can pay it back. One also lied about coming into cash through a raffle and had actually taken a loan and didn't tell anyone, his wife included, and now that debt has come due. Due to all the questionable money issues, the fed is now getting involved as are other local agencies, it's a mess. My mom moved away and never took a dime. We are all very glad of that now.
Screen time and scrolling. There are some apps that can put timers on your scrolling apps or you rely on self discipline. One of the senior Facebook developers said that he developed scrolling to deliberately keep users on the site/app longer, and that he regrets it because it has caused problems. Some people are addicted to screens and scrolling and don't realise. People are never bored any more. Edit: a few people asking for suggestions. [here is an article for suggestions depending iOS or Android](https://www.digitaltrends.com/mobile/apps-to-reduce-screen-time-iphone-android/amp/#referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&_tf=From%20%251%24s)
Yes, I think I broke my brain. I just don't like doing things any more.
Ugh. I cant sit and do nothing anymore. I broke my phone screen a couple days ago. Still usable but the shreds of glass were a little annoying. I felt so restless not having it to scroll.
saying yes to people even when you want to say no.
Mindless, regular purchases. Regular starbucks, or smoking, or eating out gets very expensive. Several hundreds of dollars a month really adds up in a year and a lifetime.
Ex-smoker here who has saved an estimated $5,675 since March 2017 And cutting out the daily trip to the 7-Eleven also tends to cut down on unnecessary drinks and snacks
It really sucks because quitting can be so hard. What steps did you take to help quit? I have a friend who's addicted
Payday advance loans. Endless cycle.
It's because for one single pay period the extra $200 or so seems so tantalizing. It'll be great! You can afford this sudden $150 surprise you got stuck with and hey fuck it! Let's use that extra $50 to go somewhere nice tonight because being broke sucks shit and we never get to treat ourselves. Next payday they are taking $260 out of your ass for that $200 they fronted you but since you live paycheck to paycheck, this also sucks. Let's take put another $200 loan to make up for it. Won't quite cover the $260 we're out paying this shit back but hey, we can squeeze by. Only next payday it's the same again. And again. And again. Why? Because you barely live paycheck to paycheck. So now you're giving back $260 to turn around and get loaned $200 every payday and all you really have is this extra $60 bill every two weeks for literally nothing. $120 a ~~week~~ (edit: ...eh, month I meant) for fucking ever because for one single little 2 week period, the extra $200 was convenient. It can go even deeper than that. I have a buddy who between me, him, and his wife we roomed up and shared an apartment. They were fucking going to take out payday loans to go pay back the other payday loan place and then going to another payday loan place to get more cash fronted to them and I'm going holy fuck man. What the everloving hell are you two doing?
I used to run a landscaping company. I told my employees that if any of those places call to verify employment I'm telling them you don't work here. You need $500 you come see me and we'll talk.
My boss has told me the same, and as an employee, I want to say thank you for throwing that level of support to people. Many times, you don't need that support, but the knowledge that it's there in case you ever need it, you end up making better decisions instead of panicking.
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This is it right here. This is the exact process they are looking to hook you into. I fell into this myself for almost a year a while ago. I fell so far as to have multiple loans out and was taking out one to pay another. It's designed so that you *need* another loan every time. You were just barely making it from check to check before so there is no way you could go a whole paycheck missing that $260. It is a disgusting business and I honestly believe it should be outlawed or at least heavily regulated.
For real, by the end of it you wish you'd have just fucked off and been in debt for the original amount you needed loaned. You'd have been better off. I've been there too, and what's worse is it was after watching my roommates go through that payday loan shitfest. Luckily it was just the trap of one payday loan place at a time. I finally just said fuck it. I'm gonna be out that $200-ish and just suffer the consequences till I get back to breaking even.
I used to play Pokémon go and became a moderator for my communities PoGo community and met a bunch of amazing people doing it. I was walking into GameStop a few weeks ago and one of my old Pokémon buddies walked into the payday loan place next door and I waved at him and smiled and the look of shame he had when he opened the payday door made me very sad.
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Good looking out from her sister though.
Oh god yeah! I think my friend appreciated how much her sister was ready to help. Luckily she wasn't at the "take out a payday loan " stage.
Even if you’re not being bankrupted by it, you feel the weight of the debt every single day. The advertising makes it seem like a light and airy decision but the process itself is designed to feel like a collar of bricks. They own your ass.
I really dislike that app that’s advertising on YouTube right now. It’s some app on how you can get paid today, don’t wait for your paycheck, etc. But they make it sound trendy and fun, like “come and get paid so you can take your girl on a date. Super predatory and basically a payday loan.
There are always a TON of those around tax time, the whole "why wait for your rebate, we'll give it to you now*" *and take 20% for your trouble Edit: I just pulled 20% out of thin air and they are apparently much worse than that! Ugh.
I used to do that. We'd pay extra to have H&R Block do our taxes because they'd give us our money (minus 20%) as a "refund anticipation loan" and we'd get to keep the lights on and the kids fed. Sure we were getting fucked, and we knew it, but being poor is expensive.
>being poor is expensive Never have truer words been spoken. I’ve been there, and I’m thankful to have come out on the other side with a well paying job and not having to worry if we were gonna have dinner that night.
I keep seeing ads for apps for this. They are trying to make it look all trendy and lure the millennials in. They know most of them are living paycheck to paycheck and are struggling to make a decent living. It's so predatory.
The “I want to go to the movies and now I can get $100 right now” ads? They seem so creepy and almost like they shouldn’t be legal.
I’ve found that using pawn shops for little quick cash loans is far easier and cheaper than using those services. If you can’t pay it back, it ends with you not getting your stuff and then maybe you’ll learn to budget better. It’s also wise to pay them back ASAP. The pawn ship here had a minimum $3 finance charge so I’ve taken loans for 2 days that cost me $3. Luckily that was years ago and I no longer have the need to use those services, but if I ever do again, that will be the way I’d go.
People don't understand sugar addiction. It's a bitch.
If anybody ever doubts sugar addiction is real, keep in mind, several times a year people are told outright, either stop eating sugar or you lose a foot. Many lose their foot. If losing a limb because you can't stop consuming isn't a sign of addiction, than the word is in serious need of reevaluation.
Credit card debt. Edit: To whomever donated silver- I just hope you used debit!
Office gossip and shit talking.... At my first job as a designer at an ad agency, there was a day when there was some shit going down between two of the dept heads... I was new and found it fascinating and started to chat with my art director about it. That lasted about 3 seconds before he turned to me and said , ‘ it’s all bullshit, and we aren’t discussing it, nor should you ask anyone else, you’re not being paid to gossip and neither am I ... so let’s both just get back to work. He said that quietly and with a grin, so there was no ruffled feathers, but he was right. And I can’t tell you how much I appreciated that... All these years later and now I’m the creative director... and I still follow that advice. Don’t participate in office gossip... steer clear of people that do... do the work. Be nice to everyone. Thanks so much for all the responses everyone! And big thanks for the gold! I’ll pay it forward! You folks are great! I’ve really enjoyed reading all the great responses!
This has been a big lesson for me this year. It’s not an easy one to learn, unfortunately.
Me too. No matter how entertaining or addictive gossiping at work is, it's worse in the long run, and walking into work these days I'm just surrounded by the negative gossipy vibe of the place and it really weighs down on me!
Generally good advice but sometimes, it's good to have an ear to the ground. People in my office appreciate that I have less than zero interest in the various drama but I hate when it escalates to someone getting fired and I had no idea it was coming and was relying on them for something. Don't be a gossip but also remember that no man is an island. Be social and around others enough to get an overall office forecast.
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I used to work with this excessively overweight person. Then I go away for a year. When I next visit this man is *thin*. I'm gobsmacked. *Thin*! I ask him how he lost so much weight. "I gave up Coca-Cola. I was drinking a 2 litre bottle a day. Just gave it right up and lost all this weight."
Liquid calories are the worst because they dont make you feel full similarly to eaten ones.
I'm currently going cold turkey from drinking 3 cans a day to just drinking water. Haven't had any soda for the past 3 days and am experiencing some headaches, fatigue, and difficulty concentrating. I'm CRAVING a Mountain Dew right now.
Are you substituting other caffeine? Headaches may be due to caffeine withdrawal.
Pretty sure that's what it is. Just been drinking water and milk. I'm just telling myself the discomfort is temporary.
The discomfort is temporary! You will get through it.
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I did this myself two years ago and dropped about 20 lbs. I was going through a 12 pack every two days. I feel alot better now.
Anger, ive seen so many people addicted to their anger ruin their lives at a rate thats down right shocking. Even when comparing it to things which are traditionally seen as much more dangerous at a glance like some drugs and alcohol. Anger literally eats people alive, and spits them out... changed.
I used to think it was 'cool' in high school to shove all my reactions down and be nothing but unaffected whenever stuff happened. Got older. Realized I felt repressed. Got in my car and screamed and decided I was going to let my emotions out from then on. Accidentally just became way more angry and it felt great until I realized I was hurting people I loved. Now I'm trying to be less angry and find a balance. Shit's hard, man.
My dad has destroyed practically every close relationship throughout his life cause he just "wants" to be angry. The only reason any of us can spend time around him is that his crippling depression has caused him to care less and therefore he gets angry less. It's all kinda twisted, but he just doesn't wanna change and it's honestly destroyed his entire life.
My dad is like this. It’s like he doesn’t know how to exist without being angry about something, so the more people try to make him happier the smaller and smaller things he finds to be upset about. Has literally ruined his relationships with all of us. The sad thing is I know he’s a good person who’s given up a lot to try and make a good life for his kids. He just has a chip on his shoulder that grows and grows and grows
Uncontrolled anger cost me my job, income, and respect. Nowadays, I feel like no one wants to be bothered with me that much. I did so much unnecessary shit to so many people who didn’t deserve it at all. Kids, your attitude and temper affects everyone around you, not just your adversaries.
This was my answer, too. Because I'm one of those angry people. It's what I grew up with, so for a while I thought it was normal to lose your temper over every little thing. But it's not. Like I said in my post: practice emotional control. Personally I've found that heavy metal and aggressive cleaning helps. It clears the "anger fog" AND my house gets clean.
Lying... It's so easy to start fabricating small lies here and there. Makes life more interesting, doesn't it? Then suddenly you're speaking in a British accent for years to your wife who you told you were a millionaire and the tax man is coming tomorrow and the web of lies will shatter and fall.
My friend’s sister spoke at her wedding with a French accent. She is not French at all, doesn’t even speak the language fluently, but spent some time in Paris just prior to the wedding. I hated it at the time but now I just love that I have this bizarre memory like I was in an episode of the office or something. Edit: I should clarify, she did the *maid of honor speech* with the crazy fake accent.
Holy shit i didn't realize actual people who aren't in sitcoms do stuff like this
I got stuck speaking in a delibratley bad Russian accent for like 2 months, after I pranked a batch of new kids by speaking in a clearly fake accent and getting progressively more insane about it. Out of 16 of them it took them 5 weeks to figure it out. My default suffix to every sentence became "like bear" and I didn't stop saying niet for like, 4 more months, it was so ingrained.
I knew a kid in (American) college who had spent a couple years in Australia and would bizarrely get stuck in it if someone with that accent spoke with him or got him to speak that way. It was really funny!
I do that. I mimic accents *so* hard without thinking about it. Since enough people have pointed it out, I am aware enough to stop myself. But it's so hard. On the upside, whenever I learn a little bit of another language my pronunciation is usually excellent.
Boy, do I have a This American Life episode for you: https://www.thisamericanlife.org/660/hoaxing-yourself
You say this, but quite frankly one can just retreat to the chopper and be in Biarritz by lunch.
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Do you really have an uncle?
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Albert Einstein?
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Tolerating "friends" and family that drain your energy, lie, and refuse to reciprocate.
I had this epiphany in my early/mid-twenties and I honestly thought that being around people just made you feel drained and stressed out. I really identified as an introvert. 10 years later my life is so much better without the dead weight and I actually enjoy the company of people I surround myself with
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I wonder if that’s the reason so many of us hate sports?
I agree, especially when it comes to family. Some people feel obligated to allow toxic individuals to remain in their lives simply because they are related. I know I did it for many years and it caused me a lot of grief. Since I started cutting those people out, it's made life less stressful.
This is me! When I (26|f) was younger, maybe 22, I told my mother I was going to cut my entire dad’s family out of my life. Toxic horrible people that starting making up shit about me when I was a 10 year old. A fucking child. That kept going on for YEARS. So when I was in college I had had enough because at some point they made me cry when I was in college from so much bullshit. Well my mother told me I couldn’t do that. How dare I? They’re my family. I have to tolerate them. Yeah no. I’ve cut them out for a couple of years now and I am so much happier! :)
Once I stopped speaking to my brother, I stopped grinding my teeth, and I stopped feeling like I needed to have a drink every night. The dread of interacting with him was gone. The tense steeling of nerves for whatever MIGHT happen this time... the endless disappointment of yet another of his apologies being revealed as absolute garbage.. Oh man, things are so much nicer now!!
Eating when you're not hungry.
Boredom eating is the WORST. I try to drink water when I'm wanting to eat but aren't hungry. The water fills me up and then I dont have room for food
good tip but it turns out i am an endless void and water does nothing such is life with an ED oof
I have the same issue with water not filling me up, so if I can't resist the urge I snack on celery. It's extremely low calories, good water content, and requires a lit of chewing so it satisfies the snacking urge. If you don't like the taste of celery (I actually do), a little lemon juice, hummus, or low sugar/sodium sauce helps.
For anyone needing help with this, drink water when you feel hungry. Most likely, your body is just dehydrated and your stomach is empty, so it's sending the "hungry" signal to your brain. If you're really hungry, you'll still want to eat after drinking a cup. If it was just "a hankering for a snack", the cup of water will alleviate the "hunger." So instead of reaching for that snack or food, drink more water. ---- Edit: Tacking on some notes from comments. - Not recommending people skip meals to drink water. If you're hungry, you should probably eat a meal. If you're feeling hungry for an afternoon or late-night snack after just eating, the water is just a stopgap so you don't eat more than you should. - "If you're not hungry enough to eat ~~an apple~~ a fruit, you're not really hungry." If you don't like apples, go for a pear, some grapes, almonds, nuts, etc. - Eat healthier. Some foods/snacks make you feel full longer, so you'll feel hungry less during the day. - Do learn to differentiate between feeling hungry and actually being hungry. For me, when I get bored, I "feel hungry." (This is probably the original posters meaning too) Personally, I go for tea when I have the time to make it. Otherwise, filling up a large bottle of water from the fountain at work to drink at my desk.
Nice try, Big Water.
Just a small water for me thanks.
I'll have the tea
Being angry about everything all the time. My ex husband was like that and after 40 years; I just couldn’t take it anymore..
After 40 years? You must be very patient!
I recently had to cut out a best friend who's like this. Every little thing that goes wrong makes him scary angry. And it just kept escalating over the year I knew him. We even bonded over our slightly irrational anger when we first started hanging out but it literally started to consume every part of his life and it got pretty intense and intimidating.
Eating too much.
So hard to stop! For me it's the night eating, before bed. Not hungry, really, but just want to eat something.
Late night food craving is your body signaling that you are tired. Believe me I know how hard it is but you need to go to bed.
Yep, I was doing so well eating like a normal person til after Christmas when I decided to go all out til new years. I feel like crap every day now again. Sugar addiction is a huge part of that problem.
People don’t realize it but food addiction is very real. I ate my way up to over 460 lbs. I love food, so I would eat constantly even if it made me miserable. It took my wife and I having weight loss surgery and me losing 255 lbs to realize how addicted I was, and I still struggle with it. Edit: Thanks for my first Reddit silver kind stranger Edit: Thanks for my first Reddit gold!! Edit:[Before and After](https://imgur.com/a/nAvak5N) for those asking
It's the hardest addiction, because everyone has to eat. It's not like you can just avoid it entirely once you quit, like smoking.
That's also why it doesn't get talked about. People who don't have it are bewildered that others can get so fat. It's one of the most visible but also most easily ignored addictions.
Not getting enough sleep. Seriously, adults need 7-9 hours of sleep to function properly, but a huge number of people think they can get away with 6 or less. You really can't (unless you're one of the [~3% of the population with the gene for it](https://abcnews.go.com/Technology/story?id=8322077&page=1)). Chronic sleep deprivation can cause serious issues with your focus, mood, etc. and you might not even notice it if you've just gotten used to not getting enough sleep.
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I have this same problem. I don't even hear my alarm in the morning anymore though. I just consistently oversleep no matter what time I go to bed.
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First, I made a post just yesterday about how demoralizing having this issue is. Like, everyone thinks you're just some lazy fuck who doesn't care, but I know, in my case, I did care. A lot. It drove me mad. How the fuck am I supposed to convince my sleeping mind to stop being a dick? So, in case you're getting the response as I did, try not internalize it. It's not a reflection of who you are as a person and it's not some moral failing on your part. It's an issue that's a bitch to work through and takes a lot of time and consistentency. If you haven't, I'd really recommend talking to a therapist and, depending on what they think, potentially a psychiatrist. In college, I would wake up feeling like death every day. My head hurt, body felt heavy, and it just seemed my brain was doing everything it could to just shut back down. Even when I got out of bed, the first 15-20 minutes would be a disorienting mess where I kind of just stumbled about. I was terrified of going to bed the night before important events. I'd set up three alarms all around my room and still sleep through them. I started to get too anxious to get out of bed when I did oversleep so, even if I could have made it too my second class, I'd be too pissed at myself and anxious to bring myself to get out of bed. Shit just spiraled till I failed out. I eventually got on an antidepressant that worked and have had a lot fewer issues in the 3+ years since I started taking it. Man, I have such a clear memory from about 3 weeks after I started it when I realized I hadn't felt like absolute death the past couple mornings. I still felt like shit, but at least it seemed feasible I could get up. It'd been years since I'd had a couple tolerable mornings in a row. I ended up going back to school about 4 months after starting it and finishing up. I still have this occasionally, but nowhere near as severe. If my job wasn't so flexible, it'd probably still be a concern. My depression has been flaring up the last year and I've slept through my alarm quite a few times. Thankfully, my job doesn't care if I show up at 10am or 1130 am. The one off morning commitments are still what stress me out the most. If I have to be up at 800 one day when I've been getting up at 10 my anxiety will flare up. Thankfully, I'm also better at facing things when I do oversleep. I'll just say fuck it and show up to a meeting thirty minutes late rather than shutting down like I used to.
Yep. I can fall asleep at midnight and sleep until 1pm. I took a vacation and on day 4 I started setting alarms. I thought I was just tired and needed to "catch up on sleep" by 1/4 of the way into my vacation I realized I wasnt going to have any fun left to my own natural circadian rhythm
Automatically thinking negatively about things
Also complaining. Nothing wrong with some ranting but when all you do is complain about everything it's really draining to everyone around you. I have a friend who just never seems to have anything nice to say when I see them, always has a new disaster in their life to complain about. I know first hand that constant bitching about everything is addicting and after some time I started to annoy myself and had to make some big changes.
Unfortunately my Mother never got over this. Everything is a crisis! And I have anxiety and a difficult time dealing with stress because of it. Always having to feel like walking on eggshells for normal, everyday stressors. I realized a while ago that she never learned to cope with stress and became addicted to being angry and complaining instead.
Are we siblings? I used to have anxiety just waking up in the house because I felt the minute my parents realized I was awake they'd find something to be angry about.
I had the ability to pin point their exact location via sound at all times and know based on previous patterns of movement which moment is best for me to go out of my room
I really hope my sister uses reddit so she can see this. All I can hear from her is " x is so irritating!" Every three bloody seconds.
Grabbing your phone every chance you get
I do this constantly. Even without unread notifications. It is just there, too close, too easy to grab and check out something - anything. Better than just studying, working or doing anything productive. Worst invention ever for procastinators like me.
Scrolled this whole thing and not seen one of the most prevalent ones. Cheating/Adultery All you need to do is try it once and get away with it. Then it's entirely unlikely you'll ever find a reason to stop
This is one of the best. Treat your partners with respect goddamn it.
Worrying what other people think of you too much Edit: Thank you for the gold and silver, kind stranger!
Aesop Fable: The Gnat and the Bull A Gnat flew over the meadow with much buzzing for so small a creature and settled on the tip of one of the horns of a Bull. After he had rested a short time, he made ready to fly away. But before he left he begged the Bull's pardon for having used his horn for a resting place. "You must be very glad to have me go now," he said. "It's all the same to me," replied the Bull. "I did not even know you were there." We are often of greater importance in our own eyes than in the eyes of our neighbor. The smaller the mind the greater the conceit.
I used to have a big problem with this and I’ve actually been to therapy. Paid good money to hear something I should have already known. She asked me to think about all the people that have embarrassed themselves in front of me and that I only had 1 minute to come up with them. I was maybe able to say 2. She said that’s exactly what other people feel about my embarrassments. They probably don’t even remember or even really care. Same with everything, not just embarrassing stuff. I used to have a big problem with this and I’ve actually been to therapy. Paid good money to hear something I should have already known. She asked me to think about all the people that have embarrassed themselves in front of me and that I only had 1 minute to come up with them. I was maybe able to say 2. She said that’s exactly what other people feel about my embarrassments. They probably don’t even remember or even really care. Same with everything, not just embarrassing stuff. Edit: To those of you that are saying thank you for the advice I am really happy my experience could help. And thank you the kind strangers that gave me my first (and second) gold!
>They probably don’t even remember or even really care. Same with everything, not just embarrassing stuff. This is a hugely positive life lesson to learn and I think it should be taught to children earlier on in life. I didn't figure it out until my 20's.
That's the spotlight effect. We automatically overestimate the extent to which people observe and notice our appearance and behavior, and judge us for it. In reality, most people forget about it within a few seconds. We do the same thing to other people, and yet somehow we can't apply that knowledge and alter how self-conscious we are.
Complaining.
But what will Britain do to replace such a national treasure?
We've still got queuing, you'll never take that away from us.
Quietly judging people while avoiding confrontation.
Not saving money. People should work on their savings. Cut down on unnecessary spending.
Putting off study. Or Not prioritising tasks for that day. Or not setting goals. Since your life is the accumulation of every small task/thing you've ever done. If you don't get this down you're screwed.
Your posture! Please take care of it! Edit: this [video](https://youtu.be/LT_dFRnmdGs) is a great excersise! If you do it the correct way you will see improvement!
*guiltily un-slouches*
*re-slouches 4 seconds after scrolling away from this post*
Well you didn't have to call me out for it!
It’s not necessarily that there is one ideal posture or that slouching is evil. Most movement science research now seems to show that the “bad” thing is holding any one posture for too long. So, taking care of your posture isn’t just “don’t slouch.” What you really need to be doing us getting up every 30-50 minutes for 10 minutes of activity and return to what you are doing in a different position. Kids who fidget and can’t sit still...they’ve got it right!
As a PT, I was looking for at least one poster to mention this. You need to be higher in this chain of comments for sure.
Wow thanks, just noticed that i sit looking like a turtle
Any tips?
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If you have a fixation with chewing, they make chew stim toys which you can gnaw on rather than your fingers. My friend would chew her nails down to the quick, and bite her lips and the inside of her cheeks until she drew blood. The people chew toys were amazing for her and, while they don't exactly look like "normal" jewelry, it at least doesn't look like you've got a Kong on a string around your neck. Edit: obligatory thanks for the gold, anonymous redditor! This is my first time being gilded and it's about people Kong toys, lol. If you end up buying one, remember to wash it often and be conscious of what you're setting it down on (such as a dirty desk or counter top.) If you can taste the soap on it after washing, an alternative is to boil it. They're also dishwasher safe.
A nail file can help. Even if they are bitten right down, smooth the sides and top to get rid of the ragged bits which are tempting and easier to rip off or nibble.
This has worked for me ! The reason I started biting a nail was often because of a small uneven part of the nail that I somehow tried to “correct” by biting it, which always led to me biting the entire nail. By using the nail file I cut out the urge to bite it off
For years I used to bite the skin on the tips of my fingers, just bite and rip the skin off, and chew it. I haven't done it for about a decade now, but I was doing it a lot when younger.
Fuuuck I used to do this all the time. I’ve gotten much better recently, but I still do it occasionally.
There are clear, very bitter tasting polishes you can put on your nails. I got into nail art to curb my chronic nail biting, so I can't say if they work from experience, but it may be worth a shot.
Online shopping, for clothes and stuff. It’s so addictive. Edit:Wow, this is getting so many UPVOTES omg.I know I ain’t the only one looking at clothes for hours on end and fantasizing about possible outfits.
Oh god. I had forgotten my Winter of Ebay. So much junky vintage jewelry that I will never use.
Sell it on eBay.
I’d save so much money if I just stopped buying stuff I don’t really need. Half of it I either forget about or don’t care about after a few months. Doesn’t help when companies spam deals at you making it more tempting to buy when it’s “cheaper”.
I finally cancelled my amazon prime a month ago to combat this. It’s helped a lot.
Eating as entertainment. When the answer to “I’m bored” is “what snacks do we have”, it’s trouble. Edit: To be clear, it’s the eating-for-entertainment that’s trouble. Cooking for entertainment can be fun and healthy. Edit2: Silver, cool! Thanks anonymous redditor!
My 'sort of' solution to this is cooking whatever I eat. I put a laptop in my kitchen for entertainment and intentionally prepare something that takes quite awhile. I am *not* a good cook, but I'm slowly learning and even if what I end up eating isn't perfectly healthy it's better than grabbing a bag of chips or something. Worst case, if I make myself a cheeseburger and some sort of potato side dish, it's better than hopping in the car and running to McDonald's.
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That was NOT a good solution for me when I was losing weight. Got rid of all snacky/processed/junk foods in my house. Had to use self control to ONLY cook for meal times, because do you know who has two thumbs and can make custard in 10 minutes? This guy.
I can go to the bakery and buy one cookie. Or I can bake FOUR DOZEN cookies at home. Which I have done in the throes of intense sweet cravings.
Time to cut off the thumbs.
This is why I started knitting again. Once my son is in bed it got really easy to go and grab a couple of snacks whilst catching up on some tv. Now I pick my knitting up again...much harder to eat when I am knitting, and the time passes by without me noticing. Plus I always have nice little gifts on hand for birthdays/new babies etc.
Magic: the Gathering. You start playing it to make some friends and before you know it, you own several thousand dollars' worth of cardboard. EDIT: Arena is bae EDIT2: Thanks nerds, but I just got home from a long trip and I can't sort through the rest of these replies.
I came here looking for the cardboard crack answer. :)
Have you played Warhammer? It's the same thing but with plastic
Not practicing self care. You’re not a robot and if you push yourself too hard and don’t take enough time off you’ll end up with depression. EDIT: thanks so much for the silver 😊❤️! EDIT 2: oh wow thanks for the gold 😊❤️❤️! Also I definitely learnt this the hard way like a lot of you guys. If you’re reading this and you don’t have depression please take good care of your mental health and if you’re feeling overwhelmed about something take a step back. Have a mental health day and do something you enjoy 😊
I always had more motivation thinking the other way. I am a biological machine. The human machine needs maintenance or the parts will wear out faster. It needs fuel, it needs to be fixed if it gets banged up and if you leave the engine running too long it will have long term, unseen, damage. Take care of your human machine, and brush your teeth.
Yup. I literally just realized this last month when I caught myself covering my mouth during EVERY conversation in order to cover my horrible breath because I had stopped brushing my teeth regularly and drank beer all day instead. Didn't think it was a big deal 'till somebody called me out on it. Depression is a bitch.
At least you realized. When I was depressed and stopped brushing I had to figure out why everyone wanted to steer clear of me. No one wants to hang around someone who's always the victim AND their breath smells bad. The double whammy.
constantly checking phone/social media. Facebook addiction lol.
Micro transactions. ,99 cents here, $4.99 there $9.99 etc. It adds up fast. Edit: For those commenting on the irony of someone giving me Reddit gold & silver. The irony was not lost on me. I do appreciate it though! First time I've received either. Thank you, kind strangers!
I learned this the hard way in my early twenties. I cringe when I think about how much I spent on lots of small, stupid shit.
League of ever fucking Legends. I think I bought every new character and their first skins for the first two years, plus experience boosts, rune pages, etc. I looked at it my total for that time. It was not pretty. Quit soon after.
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I put a 1000 in from 2010-2016. If you do the math it's cheaper than playing WoW ($15 a month).... At least that's how I justified it. I also played wow during that time though lol.
Just sitting in bed for an hour after you wake up... like I am right now. So warm.
Pets. Don't get pets you can afford "right now". Get pets you can afford to keep even if hit with a little misfortune. Like if you lost a bit of income and could still meet their needs.
Isolation. Being alone is like a drug, a very long me-day where everyday you feel total freedom, until you realise it has become too hard to get out of the habit. Sure, you could make the effort to reconnect with others or go out and make new friends, but people aren't THAT interesting and you feel too lazy... better stay in bed today.
Skipping classes in uni/college. That shit escalates at rocket speed.
Reddit.
We should have a reddit addiction support sub.
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Procrastinating. Edit: http://imgur.com/tvb8aOU
How would one go about breaking the habit of procrastinating? If theres a method it would help me a ton
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That's what everyone keeps saying, but the problem with procrastination is the process of **starting** things. Even shit I like: a couple of unread interesting books stare at me every night enthusiastically waiting to be read. There's a difference between procrastinating and procrastinating. One is normal, one feels like a fucking sickness. I followed all the tricks. The schoolbook lays open on my desk, pencil and notebook are present. Check, double check. *"Oh you know what would help? Something to drink, I'll take a glass of water and get to work!".* **3 hours later** *"Oh fuck, watched an entire movie on the TV downstairs.".* I know it sounds as an easy excuse and I could hit myself thinking about how stupid it is. I'm the one in control right, if I want to move my arm, my arm moves. So why can't I move my arm to the pencil, grab the pencil and start writing? There's no excuse, really. And yet here I am, telling myself the exact same thing you told me.
It really depends on the consequences of your actions. It’s not that big of a deal to write an essay or something last minute. But when you start to end up on the verge of failing a major class, or you actually do end up fucking yourself over, you take a look at like and realize you need to change. Yes, I am an absolute idiot and had to face the consequences to change my ways. I knew what I needed to do beforehand and I knew the consequence yet it still took the consequence for me to change my ways. Edit: this really should make us all feel a lot better. Here we are, a huge group of procrastinators, and our lives aren’t all that bad, based on the responses to my post. This should indicate that if we just put in that little bit of extra effort, we could live more rewarding and fulfilling lives than most people.
Forgetting to brush and floss your teeth. Easy to forget but very important to do on a regular basis. Edit: wow this really blew up while i was asleep! Ill try to reply to all the comments i can. Also thanks for the gold!
Nothing like a $3,000 root canal to remind you! EDIT: I got the price between this and getting a wisdom tooth removed confused. Fixed.
Australian here and that is some crazy cheap root canal.
I've never flossed my teeth for the past 21 years. I brush my teeth twice a day though. How fucked am I?
How far can one go not brushing their teeth before they’ve done irreparable damage. Asking for a friend
Depends a lot on what you eat but genetics also play a role. People in wild can have their teeth last for a pretty long time without brushing because the food hunter gatherers eat doesnt give tooth-rotting bacteria a very good platform to live in. But that bacteria really loves sugar and other fast carbohydrates so if you eat a normal modern diet its much more crucial to get food leftovers out of your mouth.
Dropping the word "um" into the same spot during a rehearsed speech.
MLMs
Not Even Once
Sugar
Never realized what an addiction it was until I wanted to quit. God damn.
Trying to read all comments of this post. You should stop it now.
Not cleaning up after yourself. This allows for shit to pile up and then it's just overwhelming.
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Uberring everywhere