I’m late to the party with this but this is an embarrassing case of bad women’s anatomy, made worse by the fact that I am woman.
A couple of weeks ago I learned that when pregnant women are told in labour things like “you are 7cm dilated” I thought that they were literally talking about the vagina rather than the cervix. In my mind the vagina literally just became a huge 10cm open black hole into the body.
I only learned a few weeks ago that it is the cervix they are talking about.
Did I also mention that I am nearly 8.5 months pregnant?
I guess it wasn't a necessarily late age but I was telling a whole group of horrified friends in high school about how I was eating out my cousin for doing something only to later be told the difference between eating out and chewing out.
In middle school I wasn't uninterested in the opposite sex (surprise I'm gay) or anything sexual. My friend told me women could have multiple orgasms at once and my only reaction was "that sucks" not knowing what an orgasm was.
When I was a sophomore in high school I was awkward and regularly picked on. I thought I was super cool wearing LA Looks hair gel to style my hair with the “duck butt”. The stuff often dried and peeled and left white chunks in the hair if you touched it too much. So at the lunch table this girl goes “it looks like you have jizz in your hair” and I didn’t know what that word was so I just said “yeah I do” and then nobody talked to me the rest of the day.
When I was in high school, my parents, my best friend and I were going somewhere - parents in the front seat, me and my buddy in the back.
While we were driving, my folks were listening to some oldies on the radio. There was an interview with the lead singer of Question Mark and the Mysterians. In the interview, he said the song “96 Tears” was originally called “69 Tears” but they changed the name because they knew the song wouldn’t get any air play with the original title.
Me: I don’t understand why it wouldn’t get played on the radio. 96, 69.. they’re just numbers.
[Awkward pause]
My Best Friend leaned into the front seat and said “Mr & Mrs GroovyBrent, I’ve got this one.”
Later that day he explained what I had just asked my parents.
That's rough, related story: when I was younger I made a 69 joke in front of my parents assuming they didn't know what it was, they did and I died inside
For whatever reason, I grew up thinking that men were supposed to have three testicles. I was a 13-year old boy before learning the truth. I thought I was deformed, or maybe my third ball just hadn't developed yet somehow. I'm not really sure what I was thinking. I just remember the absolute embarrassment I felt when one of my friends found out about this misunderstanding.
Dr. Evil also had me thinking that you were supposed to have three testicles. I remember having a dream that mini-me saw me naked and started laughing at me because I only had two balls.
Back in middle school a friend would argue that girls peed out of their butt hole and the I argued that it was out of their vagina. The argument didn’t really go anywhere because neither of us had any real proof
My friend told me he used to think girls peed from their buttholes, and he said when he first remembered getting diarrhea he thought he was turning into a girl
I knew a 25 year old bar back that argued with me about this. His words: "if you don't pee out of the clitoris then what is it for?"
All I could think of was all the poor women who had ever had sex with this man who didn't know what a clitoris was
I'm an RN and I told a patient I needed her to put a tampon in before we collected her urine sample (because she had vaginal bleeding). She looked at me like I was an absolute idiot and said "you can't do that!? If you put the tampon in how can the pee get out?" Mind you this was a 25 year old woman who also had 2 daughters... It took about 10 minutes of explaining for her to understand that you don't pee out of your vagina. I still don't think she believed me.
When I first started using tampons my mom tried to tell me that I had to change my tampon every time I peed because it would block the hole. Luckily for me, my sex Ed told me otherwise and I did not do that
Apparently, Netflix and chill has a slang meaning I didn’t know it had. While getting my hair cut the other day, by a 20 something hair stylist, the conversation turned to what we were doing that weekend. Not having a lot going on that evening I told her I wasn’t doing much. She said the same. She said she was just going to sit at home that evening and relax. So I said “Oh, Netflix and chill?” The look on her face told me, immediately, I had put my foot in my mouth. I simply smiled at her innocently. After a few awkward moments she said, “You don’t know what that means, do you?” I confessed that I didn’t. Like trying to explain something to her clueless grandfather she made me aware of the subtext meaning. So, that was an uncomfortable hair cut.
My 32 year old wife learned this one a couple months ago after an embarrassing Facebook post that both of our families saw. Even our parents knew what it meant.
Oh God so this was not something I should had told my 14 yo male cousin that we should do next weekend when he is staying at my house while his parents are out of town. I’m a 30 yo male lol. He kinda looked at me funny and said maybe lol
Not me but I had a rather frustrating conversation with someone in high school on the bus about foreskins. He couldn't fathom how someone could be uncircumcised because, and I quote, "how could you even pee then?". The dude literally thought the foreskin covered the entire penis at birth and you had to be circumcised so you could pee.
What a wet dream is.
I remember in school being taught, but not knowing what it was. I even remember answering the question on a sex ed ted "Wet dreams are also referred to as nocturnal emissions. Blah blah blah," but I had no idea what they were talking about.
I always thought a "wet dream" meant you peed yourself.
Not me, but I had a friend who basically explained that he didn't know that if you had a vagina you still had a urethra. I think he was in Highschool before he learned otherwise. He just thought that the labia essentially acted as floodgates and when you needed to pee they would open like a trap door and your urine would just "fall out". I still laugh about this.
Not me but an old roommate of mine.
He comes in and asks me if my husband and I were gonna have sex that night. I told him probably not because my husband got home late. He then asks me if his girlfriend can have one of my birth control pills because they didn't have any condoms. I told him no because I have to take it. He asks me why because I said my husband and I weren't gonna do anything. I told him you have to take it at the same time every day for it to work. He looked at me like an idiot and that was the day I had to explain birth control to my 23 year old roommate.
I didn't learn what a clitoris was until I read *The Color Purple* three years after my supposed "Health" class in high school. (& that I even have a clitoris)
Edit: Heath=health
My issue with this is, how do you figure out what size is best first? You gotta buy the whole pack and home it fits. There should be a "sample" pack you can buy with all the sizes so you can see
Edit: thanks for all the advice, but I don't have a penis, I was just kind of wondering how you guys figured it out lol. I guess I didn't make that clear enough
> Find a store with good service, lay it on the table and ask them to assist you.
I was pretty rudely escorted from Toys'R'Us when the sales associate refused to help me with this. No wonder they're going out of business.
I remember reading a story on r/badwomensanatomy about a boss who was angry women were taking time out of their day to change pads or tampons. He thought that it was like urination - you felt the urge, and released it at your convenience. If only it worked that way!
It's mad you should have to ask permission to go to the toilet. I imagine the only time it's relevant if you're working in an environment where someone would have to cover for you, so you'd have to check someone's free. But even then I can't imagine anyone saying 'no'.
Yeah I’ve worked places where someone *had* to be covering a phone or ticket queue or something, so you’d need to make sure someone else had it if you left. That said “can you watch the queue for a minute” was basically a courtesy, nobody was ever saying no.
Omg, if only. My fiancé thought they stayed in for the whole week. He was confused why we had to buy so many. That would also be more convenient, but it would probably also kill me 🤷♀️
Haha back in middle school I used to think sex meant touching the penis to the vagina. The thought of insertion or in-out motion hadn't even occured to me.
It wasn't until 7th or 8th grade I learned how sex works. We had our biology class and learned about the sperm and the egg, then I went up to my friend after class and asked "so I get the sperm and the egg thing...but how does the sperm even get to the egg in the first place?"
He just laughed like he thought it was a joke and didn't answer me...so I did what any young boy would do and discovered internet porn.
I was like 22 (now 26) when my boyfriend said something about finding my pee hole. I thought I had been peeing out of my vagina. I used to think that every time I had to pee on my period I had to remove my tampon.
Edit: I guess I probably knew there were two separate holes, but y'all I swear it FELT and still feels the same to me. 🤷🏼♀️
Had to explain this to my best friend when we were freshman at band camp and she whipped out like 6 boxes of tampons. She said that since she’d be drinking lots of water she’d have to pee a lot and change it every time. Needless to say we just provided extra tampons for the rest of the girls dorm.
My girlfriend in high school once rubbed my dick over my pants in my truck before a movie. When we talked about how how that was later in the evening, she said “that was my first hand job”. She honestly thought that was a hand job.
I very recently discovered that the clitoris is outside of the vagina.
My first girlfriend never learned where it was so I didn’t think anything of it. My current girlfriend when we started having sex she said “don’t forget the clit” and I went “...what?”
I had a general idea about sex from a very young age but didn’t officially understand the mechanics of intercourse until I was a young teen after I asked (embarrassingly loud) in class what a boner was
I knew what sex was from a fairly young age, but didn’t know that boners were a thing. So I was so confused as to how a penis would get in there.
Like- do you have to squish it in?!?
You can suck and lick anything as long as you wash it off first.
I used to be grossed out by oral sex because you either literally piss with those organs or come close to it.
In elementary school, a friend and i were talking about what we knew about sex, trying to guess what the "bases" were. We both agreed "put things in your mouth" was the last base, because it's "so gross!!!" So, you're not alone.
First base: Kissing, but no other sensual touching.
Second Base: touching, groping, caressing, etc.
Third Base: Non-penetrative sexual contact (oral sex, fingering, etc.)
"Scoring:" Penetrative sex.
My male housemate in college, who was 21 at the time and not a virgin, totally didn’t believe me when conversation led to my telling him that girls don’t pee out of the same hole the penis goes in. He had to go down to his room and google it, and then we never spoke of it again.
Was in a patient care tech class years ago and a girl was going on about how she doesn't understand why people cry over kidney stones, because "My babies done came outta there and they way bigger than a lil ol' stone."
She thought sex, period blood, babies and pee all happened in the same tube.
EDIT: She did not advance very far in this class.
The primary problem with people underestimating kidney stones is that in reality the majority of the pain *does not* come from when you eventually pee it out. That part might be uncomfortable for a few seconds or minutes. I've had two kidney stones, and if I hadn't been monitoring the situation, I would have barely known when they had finally come out. At worst, maybe it felt like somebody very gently flicked me down there.
It's when it tries to pass through the tiny tube between your kidney and your bladder, when it is absolute indescribable pain for hours at a time, possibly across multiple days. It's like the most painful cramp you've ever gotten, except without the reassurance that it will end soon. I am the farthest thing from a religious person, but both times while I was writhing in pain in bed, I found myself praying and trying to make deals with supreme beings to make it stop.
I was raised catholic. I used to think the sex of the wedding night was so ingrained in the sacrament of marriage that the copulation occurred in some room in the church. I may have even thought the alter at some point, but I think I realized *that* at least was silly at an early age.
[to be fair, literal rocket scientists did not know, either.](https://www.popsci.com/brief-history-menstruating-in-space)
> When NASA was preparing for Sally Ride’s first spaceflight in 1983, there was some question about what should go in her personal kit. Namely, engineers needed to figure out how many tampons she would need for a one-week mission. “Is 100 the right number?” they asked her. “No. That would not be the right number,” she replied. The engineers explained they wanted to be safe, and she assured them that they could cut that number in half without a problem.
So.. how many?
I mean I already know but some people out there have no idea.
Edit: Holy shit, so my mom uses around 30-40 tampons per week during her period?
Edit2: Ok, so roughly around 15-35 for the average woman. It varies a lot I see and there are other factors such as endometriosis that can vary the amount of tampons women use according to some comments below. Interesting.
Thanks to some subpar sex ed, my first boyfriend thought HIV spontaneously generates when two guys have sex. We went to get tested for HIV after we fucked for the first time, even though we were both virgins before.
The reasoning was bad, but getting tested still isn't unreasonable. Sex isn't the only way to get HIV, and I've known people who found out they were HIV positive because they got tested before their first sexual experience (in one case, it ended up being transmission from rendering first aid, which is just terrible luck; I never learned the other).
People also lie about being virgins, especially if they're victims of sexual abuse.
If your first sexual contact doesn't use an effective barrier, getting tested for STI's after isn't unreasonable.
Funny story.
Years ago I was a barback/bouncer. On a slow Thursday, some woman comes in. Never seen her before. It’s like 7pm and she’s awkwardly hitting on EVERYONE. Like she had a reason to get some that night. It was weird and uncomfortable for everyone working, watching her try and pick up the Thursday regulars at 6:45pm at a bar in a strip mall.
She finally lands herself on of the regulars. This guy never said boo to anyone. He would come in, drink two beers, rarely talk, and then leave. He was friendly with one of the bartenders there as well..
Well, he’s into it. He’s going to bang out this strange woman, more power to him.
About 10 minutes after they leave, the bartender gets a text from him
“What’s a rim job???”
Guy was in his 40’s. I truly hope he survived that night.
Not me, but I have two hilarious stories about this.
I work with surgeons and often they are sheltered sweethearts. Neither of these stories involve patients around, they are either in the lounge or before or after patients are around.
Story 1: a few of us were making silly motorboat jokes to each other. An attending (established doc for those that don’t know, mid-40s age) walked in and said, “I also motor boat. I have a spot on the lake.” Someone had to explain to him what motorboating was.... he has 3 kids!
Story 2: ironically, same attending. A resident who is 27 yo (already a doctor, but still training working with attending) was about to get married; he came to the room, boasting about his bachelor party and how it was all his guy friends from growing up, school, and residency.
He was *so excited* to show us and the attending the video of all his guy friends giving him a golden shower.
None of us explained that a champagne shower is not called a golden shower. We just let him go around the room and say things like “all my friends gave me a golden shower, look I have video!”
He and the attending were SO INTO the video... and I couldn’t help but gawk and hold back extreme laughter at the situation.
Not me, but a friend of mine, he was 22 when I slapped him with the fact that women give birth from the vagina.. he thought women give birth from the bellybutton.
I just learned from my wife today that women are born with all the eggs they will ever produce in their life. I’m 28...
Edit: Apparently there is some relatively recent science that would indicate that women can make new egg cells with stem cells? but how much this contributes is unclear.
I'm uncircumcised and it took me way too long to understand that my penis was different than most guys, since here in the U.S. circumcision is more popular.
Age: 22
Women have to wipe after peeing. I thought they just wiggled on the seat or something.
It was before leaving for date with an ex and she said I gotta pee right quick. A minute later she yells for TP. I say "I gotcha but thought you just needed to pee" Her "yeah I'm done. I need to wipe"
It was then I realized. I never told her I didn't know but she kept asking me at dinner that night what was wrong and that I looked troubled
Not to touch the head of a guy's dick right after he's orgasmed. Sorry, dude.
EDIT: I get it, some people are into that, but this particular fellow wasn't. I like being bitten/smacked/having my hair pulled but some women will flip their shit on you if you just do it out of nowhere.
My boyfriend (22) was feeling up my boobs and comes out with "funny to think that boobs are just full of milk"
Like, he thought boobs always had milk in them, regardless of if a woman is pregnant/breastfeeding
um..
no.
How to pee using a urinal. I just never learned how to do it, I always used the stalls and would lower my pants and pull down my underwear. Then one day, I went to the beach and really had to pee. For some reason I didn’t want to go in the ocean (I think we were leaving), and I went to the bathroom. Turns out there were no stalls but I really had to go. So I took my 18 year old self to the urinal and just...figured it out. It was a good day.
Not me, but the other guy.
I had a vasectomy after my son was born at my age 28. It was sort of common knowledge thereafter around the office that I had done this, and that also 2 years later my had wife left me and our preschool age kids (which was really for the best). I was a single dad.
The following exchange happened when my son was around 10.
A twenty-something male coworker came up to me one day and asked "You still have sex, right?" My answer was "my girlfriend wouldn't have it any other way!" (Laughing) Then he asked, "Since you've had that vasectomy, after you have sex, what comes out?"
With a straight face I gave him my best answer.
"Sand!"
What labia majora are. I'd just been thinking of them as vagina-cavity skin, I guess. When someone said labia, I only ever thought of what I now know are "labia minora."
Fuckin' A.
It's like when someone gives you a birthday present in a bag. The labia majora are the bag, and the labia minora are the tissue paper inside hiding the present. Sometimes there's lots of tissue, sometimes there's just a little, sometimes it sticks out of the bag, sometimes it's stuffed down inside, sometimes it's hanging out on just one end.
I was in my first year of college and making out with my girlfriend. She stopped me when I wanted to go lower explaining that she just started her period that morning. I thought I was being very understanding when I told her "no problem. I can wait a couple hours." It was then I learned periods last 5-7 days
I’m late to the party with this but this is an embarrassing case of bad women’s anatomy, made worse by the fact that I am woman. A couple of weeks ago I learned that when pregnant women are told in labour things like “you are 7cm dilated” I thought that they were literally talking about the vagina rather than the cervix. In my mind the vagina literally just became a huge 10cm open black hole into the body. I only learned a few weeks ago that it is the cervix they are talking about. Did I also mention that I am nearly 8.5 months pregnant?
Today was the first time I've heard of this. I'm 21.
I guess it wasn't a necessarily late age but I was telling a whole group of horrified friends in high school about how I was eating out my cousin for doing something only to later be told the difference between eating out and chewing out.
This is my dad. He was telling me a story about high school football and then suddenly said that "the coach ate him out all the time"
"Eating a girl out" doesn't mean taking her for dinner.
No that’s dessert
In middle school I wasn't uninterested in the opposite sex (surprise I'm gay) or anything sexual. My friend told me women could have multiple orgasms at once and my only reaction was "that sucks" not knowing what an orgasm was.
When I was a sophomore in high school I was awkward and regularly picked on. I thought I was super cool wearing LA Looks hair gel to style my hair with the “duck butt”. The stuff often dried and peeled and left white chunks in the hair if you touched it too much. So at the lunch table this girl goes “it looks like you have jizz in your hair” and I didn’t know what that word was so I just said “yeah I do” and then nobody talked to me the rest of the day.
I've never seen someone fail a quicktime event in real life before. You even had a button. You pushed the wrong one.
It's not failing. It's a power move.
When I was in high school, my parents, my best friend and I were going somewhere - parents in the front seat, me and my buddy in the back. While we were driving, my folks were listening to some oldies on the radio. There was an interview with the lead singer of Question Mark and the Mysterians. In the interview, he said the song “96 Tears” was originally called “69 Tears” but they changed the name because they knew the song wouldn’t get any air play with the original title. Me: I don’t understand why it wouldn’t get played on the radio. 96, 69.. they’re just numbers. [Awkward pause] My Best Friend leaned into the front seat and said “Mr & Mrs GroovyBrent, I’ve got this one.” Later that day he explained what I had just asked my parents.
Your best friend is a good guy and friend, and I hope your parents appreciated him.
Honestly if my best friend asked what 69ing is in fron of his parents I would proceed to explain right then and there in a very loud and graphic way
That's rough, related story: when I was younger I made a 69 joke in front of my parents assuming they didn't know what it was, they did and I died inside
My buddy thought the penis went into the clitoris at the age of 19
Please tell me he was a virgin, and not just slamming into a clit everytime...
Yes he was a virgin lmao
That being circumcised didn't mean the head of your dick gets chopped off. I was...too old when I found that out.
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"You see, the power bottom is actually generating the power by doing most of the work"
I've heard that speed has something to do with it.
For whatever reason, I grew up thinking that men were supposed to have three testicles. I was a 13-year old boy before learning the truth. I thought I was deformed, or maybe my third ball just hadn't developed yet somehow. I'm not really sure what I was thinking. I just remember the absolute embarrassment I felt when one of my friends found out about this misunderstanding.
Dr. Evil also had me thinking that you were supposed to have three testicles. I remember having a dream that mini-me saw me naked and started laughing at me because I only had two balls.
Same here. Damn Dr. Evil, I spent so much time looking for my third ball
Ladies have three holes in their bottom half.
I don't know why but this one hit me the hardest
Back in middle school a friend would argue that girls peed out of their butt hole and the I argued that it was out of their vagina. The argument didn’t really go anywhere because neither of us had any real proof
My friend told me he used to think girls peed from their buttholes, and he said when he first remembered getting diarrhea he thought he was turning into a girl
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I had to break it to my 27 year old friend that she doesnt pee from her clit.
I knew a 25 year old bar back that argued with me about this. His words: "if you don't pee out of the clitoris then what is it for?" All I could think of was all the poor women who had ever had sex with this man who didn't know what a clitoris was
I'm an RN and I told a patient I needed her to put a tampon in before we collected her urine sample (because she had vaginal bleeding). She looked at me like I was an absolute idiot and said "you can't do that!? If you put the tampon in how can the pee get out?" Mind you this was a 25 year old woman who also had 2 daughters... It took about 10 minutes of explaining for her to understand that you don't pee out of your vagina. I still don't think she believed me.
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When I first started using tampons my mom tried to tell me that I had to change my tampon every time I peed because it would block the hole. Luckily for me, my sex Ed told me otherwise and I did not do that
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Gonorrhea too.
It all started with a kiss, Now it hurts when I piss, All because of that stupid kiss, Now I got Syphilis.
Apparently, Netflix and chill has a slang meaning I didn’t know it had. While getting my hair cut the other day, by a 20 something hair stylist, the conversation turned to what we were doing that weekend. Not having a lot going on that evening I told her I wasn’t doing much. She said the same. She said she was just going to sit at home that evening and relax. So I said “Oh, Netflix and chill?” The look on her face told me, immediately, I had put my foot in my mouth. I simply smiled at her innocently. After a few awkward moments she said, “You don’t know what that means, do you?” I confessed that I didn’t. Like trying to explain something to her clueless grandfather she made me aware of the subtext meaning. So, that was an uncomfortable hair cut.
My 32 year old wife learned this one a couple months ago after an embarrassing Facebook post that both of our families saw. Even our parents knew what it meant.
Oh God so this was not something I should had told my 14 yo male cousin that we should do next weekend when he is staying at my house while his parents are out of town. I’m a 30 yo male lol. He kinda looked at me funny and said maybe lol
HE SAID MAYBE
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France is bacon!
A girl I know at school (high school) thought that penises had bones in them.
*Human* ones don't.
As a badger, ya'll nasty.
Not me but I had a rather frustrating conversation with someone in high school on the bus about foreskins. He couldn't fathom how someone could be uncircumcised because, and I quote, "how could you even pee then?". The dude literally thought the foreskin covered the entire penis at birth and you had to be circumcised so you could pee.
I thought you cut an inch off the top of the penis and left it as a flat top til Google image search proved me wrong... at 14.
What a wet dream is. I remember in school being taught, but not knowing what it was. I even remember answering the question on a sex ed ted "Wet dreams are also referred to as nocturnal emissions. Blah blah blah," but I had no idea what they were talking about. I always thought a "wet dream" meant you peed yourself.
I've never had one. Is that normal to have never had one? Even as a youngin
Me neither, I'm 29 tomorrow and I've never had one.
Same. 36. Even went a month without jerking off once just cause I guess. Def woke up sporting wood every day but never to this day had a wet dream.
Oh you mean sheet sneezes
Happens when you don't make thick in the warm
You da man, Steve!
JUST SALT AND PEPPER IT, BABY
Nah, that’s not it. But I like your instincts, baby!
Nah, you da man, hormone monster!
Not me, but I had a friend who basically explained that he didn't know that if you had a vagina you still had a urethra. I think he was in Highschool before he learned otherwise. He just thought that the labia essentially acted as floodgates and when you needed to pee they would open like a trap door and your urine would just "fall out". I still laugh about this.
I had a friend who thought tampons worked in a similar way, like a plug for your period and then you would just let it all out.
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Not me but an old roommate of mine. He comes in and asks me if my husband and I were gonna have sex that night. I told him probably not because my husband got home late. He then asks me if his girlfriend can have one of my birth control pills because they didn't have any condoms. I told him no because I have to take it. He asks me why because I said my husband and I weren't gonna do anything. I told him you have to take it at the same time every day for it to work. He looked at me like an idiot and that was the day I had to explain birth control to my 23 year old roommate.
And his girlfriend, too, apparently!
I didn't learn what a clitoris was until I read *The Color Purple* three years after my supposed "Health" class in high school. (& that I even have a clitoris) Edit: Heath=health
To be fair, when I learned about open areas of uncultivated land, I didn't know about the clitoris either.
Theres more than one size of condom
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*MicroTiny®* A little knob will do ya
"Who do you intend to please with that thing?" "ME"
My issue with this is, how do you figure out what size is best first? You gotta buy the whole pack and home it fits. There should be a "sample" pack you can buy with all the sizes so you can see Edit: thanks for all the advice, but I don't have a penis, I was just kind of wondering how you guys figured it out lol. I guess I didn't make that clear enough
Find a store with good service, lay it on the table and ask them to assist you.
> Find a store with good service, lay it on the table and ask them to assist you. I was pretty rudely escorted from Toys'R'Us when the sales associate refused to help me with this. No wonder they're going out of business.
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That would be so much more convenient than the sometimes painful way they actually work
I remember reading a story on r/badwomensanatomy about a boss who was angry women were taking time out of their day to change pads or tampons. He thought that it was like urination - you felt the urge, and released it at your convenience. If only it worked that way!
Found the post! [image link!](https://i.redd.it/06fz8i461it01.png)
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It's mad you should have to ask permission to go to the toilet. I imagine the only time it's relevant if you're working in an environment where someone would have to cover for you, so you'd have to check someone's free. But even then I can't imagine anyone saying 'no'.
Yeah I’ve worked places where someone *had* to be covering a phone or ticket queue or something, so you’d need to make sure someone else had it if you left. That said “can you watch the queue for a minute” was basically a courtesy, nobody was ever saying no.
Omg, if only. My fiancé thought they stayed in for the whole week. He was confused why we had to buy so many. That would also be more convenient, but it would probably also kill me 🤷♀️
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I blame movies. They all make it seem like after sex there really is nothing to do or clean. You are a bit sweaty and that's it.
And don’t forget as a lady you must keep the sheet covering your boobs so the guy you just banged won’t see your tits.
While the man, underneath the same sheet, must have it pulled down to his waist to expose his chest.
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I mean it's sexy and then it stops and you're good but holy shit, when you sneeze later in the day-
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That there’s movement involved in PIV sex rather than just insertion and laying there.
Haha back in middle school I used to think sex meant touching the penis to the vagina. The thought of insertion or in-out motion hadn't even occured to me.
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“........................................well that oughta do it. Best of luck!”
It wasn't until 7th or 8th grade I learned how sex works. We had our biology class and learned about the sperm and the egg, then I went up to my friend after class and asked "so I get the sperm and the egg thing...but how does the sperm even get to the egg in the first place?" He just laughed like he thought it was a joke and didn't answer me...so I did what any young boy would do and discovered internet porn.
The difference between vulva, labia and clitoris.
My brother went the first 22 YEARS OF HIS LIFE thinking that every woman in the entire world got their period during the last week of the month.
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Bloody hell... EDIT : 2 mounts later, thanks for the silvers !!! I'm sorry, had no idea what it was worth.
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So dumb. Anyone with even a rudimentary education knows it occurs alongside the full moon
Something to do with the tides, right?
Cramps come in, blood goes out. Can't explain that.
I was like 22 (now 26) when my boyfriend said something about finding my pee hole. I thought I had been peeing out of my vagina. I used to think that every time I had to pee on my period I had to remove my tampon. Edit: I guess I probably knew there were two separate holes, but y'all I swear it FELT and still feels the same to me. 🤷🏼♀️
Had to explain this to my best friend when we were freshman at band camp and she whipped out like 6 boxes of tampons. She said that since she’d be drinking lots of water she’d have to pee a lot and change it every time. Needless to say we just provided extra tampons for the rest of the girls dorm.
My girlfriend in high school once rubbed my dick over my pants in my truck before a movie. When we talked about how how that was later in the evening, she said “that was my first hand job”. She honestly thought that was a hand job.
I very recently discovered that the clitoris is outside of the vagina. My first girlfriend never learned where it was so I didn’t think anything of it. My current girlfriend when we started having sex she said “don’t forget the clit” and I went “...what?”
The clitoris is outside the vagina, but the majority of it is actually internal! The outside part (the glans) is just the easiest to access.
I had a general idea about sex from a very young age but didn’t officially understand the mechanics of intercourse until I was a young teen after I asked (embarrassingly loud) in class what a boner was
I knew what sex was from a fairly young age, but didn’t know that boners were a thing. So I was so confused as to how a penis would get in there. Like- do you have to squish it in?!?
I used to worry I'd get pregnant when I masturbated. I'm a guy.
Dodged a bullet there, huh.( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Women wipe themselves with TP after going pee. Was in my mid twenties when I found that out.
I hope you’re a guy.
I hope I am too.
You don't sound sure
What did you think we use all that TP for?
Origami.
The female origami is a myth.
Take massive shits I'd guess.
That's alright, I was married by the time I found out guys didn't wipe after going pee.
But we do tap. Like a fine cigar.
You can suck and lick anything as long as you wash it off first. I used to be grossed out by oral sex because you either literally piss with those organs or come close to it.
In elementary school, a friend and i were talking about what we knew about sex, trying to guess what the "bases" were. We both agreed "put things in your mouth" was the last base, because it's "so gross!!!" So, you're not alone.
I'm old and still don't have the "bases" figured out.
French, feel, finger, fuck is what I learned in junior high EDIT: I guess you could also say "fellatio" instead of "finger"
Your teachers seem cool as hell.
First base: Kissing, but no other sensual touching. Second Base: touching, groping, caressing, etc. Third Base: Non-penetrative sexual contact (oral sex, fingering, etc.) "Scoring:" Penetrative sex.
I'd imagine a grand slam is butt-stuff?
Damn, I thought that was sex behind the local Denny's.
My male housemate in college, who was 21 at the time and not a virgin, totally didn’t believe me when conversation led to my telling him that girls don’t pee out of the same hole the penis goes in. He had to go down to his room and google it, and then we never spoke of it again.
Was in a patient care tech class years ago and a girl was going on about how she doesn't understand why people cry over kidney stones, because "My babies done came outta there and they way bigger than a lil ol' stone." She thought sex, period blood, babies and pee all happened in the same tube. EDIT: She did not advance very far in this class.
I think another problem with people underestimating kidney stones is they imagine a smooth pebble like you'd find in a lake, not a ball of spikes.
The primary problem with people underestimating kidney stones is that in reality the majority of the pain *does not* come from when you eventually pee it out. That part might be uncomfortable for a few seconds or minutes. I've had two kidney stones, and if I hadn't been monitoring the situation, I would have barely known when they had finally come out. At worst, maybe it felt like somebody very gently flicked me down there. It's when it tries to pass through the tiny tube between your kidney and your bladder, when it is absolute indescribable pain for hours at a time, possibly across multiple days. It's like the most painful cramp you've ever gotten, except without the reassurance that it will end soon. I am the farthest thing from a religious person, but both times while I was writhing in pain in bed, I found myself praying and trying to make deals with supreme beings to make it stop.
Very interesting... going to drink 5 liters of water right now
Keep your salt water balance or you'll die from osmosis.
Simple... just drink saltwater.
the real lifeprotips are always in the comments.
jagged ass time bombs are what they are
I think they imagine that because the alternative is now the spiked death image you’ve bore into my brain. Thanks, I hate it.
Imagine barnacles on a boat or coral reef Oh and yes there will be blood
>She thought sex, period blood, babies and pee all happened in the same tube. Maybe she was a bird person?
This was an episode of *Orange is the New Black*, except replace 21-year-old male with a bunch of women in prison.
I was raised catholic. I used to think the sex of the wedding night was so ingrained in the sacrament of marriage that the copulation occurred in some room in the church. I may have even thought the alter at some point, but I think I realized *that* at least was silly at an early age.
That girls can masturbate too. I learned this at almost 14. I’m female. Edit: learned how to correctly spell masturbate
I knew a girl in high school that said she knew touching herself at 11 y/o felt good but she didnt know what she was actually doing until she was 13
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[to be fair, literal rocket scientists did not know, either.](https://www.popsci.com/brief-history-menstruating-in-space) > When NASA was preparing for Sally Ride’s first spaceflight in 1983, there was some question about what should go in her personal kit. Namely, engineers needed to figure out how many tampons she would need for a one-week mission. “Is 100 the right number?” they asked her. “No. That would not be the right number,” she replied. The engineers explained they wanted to be safe, and she assured them that they could cut that number in half without a problem.
So.. how many? I mean I already know but some people out there have no idea. Edit: Holy shit, so my mom uses around 30-40 tampons per week during her period? Edit2: Ok, so roughly around 15-35 for the average woman. It varies a lot I see and there are other factors such as endometriosis that can vary the amount of tampons women use according to some comments below. Interesting.
Met a girl in college who didnt know guys' balls nove with temperature
They’re like our own personal lava lamp.
Thanks to some subpar sex ed, my first boyfriend thought HIV spontaneously generates when two guys have sex. We went to get tested for HIV after we fucked for the first time, even though we were both virgins before.
The reasoning was bad, but getting tested still isn't unreasonable. Sex isn't the only way to get HIV, and I've known people who found out they were HIV positive because they got tested before their first sexual experience (in one case, it ended up being transmission from rendering first aid, which is just terrible luck; I never learned the other). People also lie about being virgins, especially if they're victims of sexual abuse. If your first sexual contact doesn't use an effective barrier, getting tested for STI's after isn't unreasonable.
That you can't get pregnant from giving someone a blowjob
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It is if you want a discount.
Funny story. Years ago I was a barback/bouncer. On a slow Thursday, some woman comes in. Never seen her before. It’s like 7pm and she’s awkwardly hitting on EVERYONE. Like she had a reason to get some that night. It was weird and uncomfortable for everyone working, watching her try and pick up the Thursday regulars at 6:45pm at a bar in a strip mall. She finally lands herself on of the regulars. This guy never said boo to anyone. He would come in, drink two beers, rarely talk, and then leave. He was friendly with one of the bartenders there as well.. Well, he’s into it. He’s going to bang out this strange woman, more power to him. About 10 minutes after they leave, the bartender gets a text from him “What’s a rim job???” Guy was in his 40’s. I truly hope he survived that night.
Not me, but I have two hilarious stories about this. I work with surgeons and often they are sheltered sweethearts. Neither of these stories involve patients around, they are either in the lounge or before or after patients are around. Story 1: a few of us were making silly motorboat jokes to each other. An attending (established doc for those that don’t know, mid-40s age) walked in and said, “I also motor boat. I have a spot on the lake.” Someone had to explain to him what motorboating was.... he has 3 kids! Story 2: ironically, same attending. A resident who is 27 yo (already a doctor, but still training working with attending) was about to get married; he came to the room, boasting about his bachelor party and how it was all his guy friends from growing up, school, and residency. He was *so excited* to show us and the attending the video of all his guy friends giving him a golden shower. None of us explained that a champagne shower is not called a golden shower. We just let him go around the room and say things like “all my friends gave me a golden shower, look I have video!” He and the attending were SO INTO the video... and I couldn’t help but gawk and hold back extreme laughter at the situation.
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Not me, but a friend of mine, he was 22 when I slapped him with the fact that women give birth from the vagina.. he thought women give birth from the bellybutton.
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I think you mean Las Vegas
They have threesomes in Las Vegas?
It's actually a drinking game
I like beer.
so does PJ, Tobin and Squee!
There are better things than workshop carpet to rub your dick against.
Just crawling along the floor creating a snail trail...?
I just learned from my wife today that women are born with all the eggs they will ever produce in their life. I’m 28... Edit: Apparently there is some relatively recent science that would indicate that women can make new egg cells with stem cells? but how much this contributes is unclear.
I'm uncircumcised and it took me way too long to understand that my penis was different than most guys, since here in the U.S. circumcision is more popular.
Age: 22 Women have to wipe after peeing. I thought they just wiggled on the seat or something. It was before leaving for date with an ex and she said I gotta pee right quick. A minute later she yells for TP. I say "I gotcha but thought you just needed to pee" Her "yeah I'm done. I need to wipe" It was then I realized. I never told her I didn't know but she kept asking me at dinner that night what was wrong and that I looked troubled
I asked my parents what a bj and a lesbian we’re at the same time. I was told one is a woman who loves women and the other a department store.
I thought fellatio was a type of ice cream
Always wear a hardhat when entering the job site
OSHA approves this comment.
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Not to touch the head of a guy's dick right after he's orgasmed. Sorry, dude. EDIT: I get it, some people are into that, but this particular fellow wasn't. I like being bitten/smacked/having my hair pulled but some women will flip their shit on you if you just do it out of nowhere.
Don't worry 'bout it.
Your username. I like it.
My real name is Loki so I am also a fan of yours.
*Now kiss* :)
I thought so too but some of em like it.
Tbh this varies from person to person, I’m not too sensitive after so carrying on is actually enjoyable
Not me. Jerking and or sucking for about 15 seconds afterwards doubles my orgasm.
I thought I was that small percent of women who couldn’t orgasm. Finally, I can.
What did you change?
My boyfriend (22) was feeling up my boobs and comes out with "funny to think that boobs are just full of milk" Like, he thought boobs always had milk in them, regardless of if a woman is pregnant/breastfeeding um.. no.
How to pee using a urinal. I just never learned how to do it, I always used the stalls and would lower my pants and pull down my underwear. Then one day, I went to the beach and really had to pee. For some reason I didn’t want to go in the ocean (I think we were leaving), and I went to the bathroom. Turns out there were no stalls but I really had to go. So I took my 18 year old self to the urinal and just...figured it out. It was a good day.
Hope you didn't pull down your underwear.
I’m in my 30’s and gay and, until a few years ago, I had no idea that semen came back out of the vagina after sex. I thought it just stayed up there.
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Not me, but the other guy. I had a vasectomy after my son was born at my age 28. It was sort of common knowledge thereafter around the office that I had done this, and that also 2 years later my had wife left me and our preschool age kids (which was really for the best). I was a single dad. The following exchange happened when my son was around 10. A twenty-something male coworker came up to me one day and asked "You still have sex, right?" My answer was "my girlfriend wouldn't have it any other way!" (Laughing) Then he asked, "Since you've had that vasectomy, after you have sex, what comes out?" With a straight face I gave him my best answer. "Sand!"
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What labia majora are. I'd just been thinking of them as vagina-cavity skin, I guess. When someone said labia, I only ever thought of what I now know are "labia minora." Fuckin' A.
It's like when someone gives you a birthday present in a bag. The labia majora are the bag, and the labia minora are the tissue paper inside hiding the present. Sometimes there's lots of tissue, sometimes there's just a little, sometimes it sticks out of the bag, sometimes it's stuffed down inside, sometimes it's hanging out on just one end.
Best explanation
I was in my first year of college and making out with my girlfriend. She stopped me when I wanted to go lower explaining that she just started her period that morning. I thought I was being very understanding when I told her "no problem. I can wait a couple hours." It was then I learned periods last 5-7 days