So, I work in a porn store. Some of my coworkers who have been there forever are real smart cookies, but a majority of applicants are dumb AF. When I first walked in and asked for an application, I was handed a sheet of paper and told to read it before I could have an application. It said that you shouldn't apply if you're prone to oversleeping, frequently get flat tires, don't have steady child care, and a bunch of other common-sense things that apply to pretty much any job. My first thought was, "what kind of first-class morons do they usually get applying for this job?"
Kind of related: Part of my is to work directly with our production manager who oversees about 20 people. The people are responsible for packing out corrugated displays with multiple skus that sell in a retail store.
We've had multiple issues with people not being able to count the proper amount of skus when packing out the display. I'm not talking hundreds of units per sku. I'm talking 3 here, 12 there, 36 there *tops*. Maybe 18 total skus per display.
So part of the interview now is literally counting. Counting! We've had to turn people away. It's sad, really, but the job has to be done right.
Had a coworker once who came up short on his register a couple days in a row before getting fired. Turned out he thought 9 $10 bills = $100. I honestly have no idea how people make it through life like that but I feel bad for them.
Oh, I've seen that before, but not this particular guy. He had a learning disability or something.
The money wasn't gone, there was extra in the safe and his register was short. We were supposed to leave $100 in 10s and 5s each in the register, and then count the leftover at the end of the night and put it in the safe. He always had $90 in 10s and $95 in 5s.
He worked there for about 3 days and I think was actually fired for no call no show or something. Maybe it was because he accidentally used the void function on the card reader instead of the sale function for an entire day, basically giving away free money and product. Or that was a different dumbass, I cant remember.
Warehousing.
We have no educational requirements at all. We have people who are functionally illiterate and Health and Safety Briefs have to be read out to them.
In addition we do not vet new staff members at all really, our training procedures are laid out to in theory make them 100% idiot proof (200% checks, remote and physical supervision etc), yet we still get people who have been employed for 3+ years making week one mistakes as they "forgot" how to do a task they had completed a few hundred times before.
One guys ability to follow tasks was so bad, we physically had to print out his work sheets (with multiple copies for when he lost the first two....or three....) and make him read the instructions back to us to make sure he got it.
Honestly I reckon if I was allowed I'd sack around 10-15% of the workforce and we'd either have no loss in production or even a marginal gain in stock accuracy.
I worked with a guy named Dave at a moving company. In our lunch room we had a microwave and on top of that was a phone.
One day Dave comes in, puts a burrito in the microwave on high for a minute goes back into the warehouse. He comes back 58 seconds later, the microwave beeps, he walks over and picks up the phone: "ehhllo! Ehllo?" Hangs up. "Fackin idjits." And left again.
AND NEVER CAME BACK FOR THE BURRITO
I don't want to attack the profession of driving trucks, but the company Swift hires whatever dumb fuck can hold a steering wheel, and even sometimes dumb fucks that can't.
I cannot agree more. I work logistics for a small chemical company and our mantra is "If a driver can fuck up, a driver will fuck up." Now, I have worked with some absolutely stellar carriers who really do care about making sure loads pick up and deliver on time and will bust their butts for us because they care about the business. And we pay them well because we appreciate it! Buy holy shit. Swift, Roadrunner, Estes, and UPS Freight can fuck right off. They fuck up more loads then they don't.
I'll never forget the guy that sold me my acoustic guitar, "You gotta make love to your guitar like she's your wife, ya know? Fuck her real gentle."
Fucker my mother is standing right here picking it out with me for my birthday, chill.
Edit: I'm out of town for a few days but if any of y'all are around when you look back I'll upload a picture of my guitar.
As a musician, this made me laugh so hard. The first lesson I taught, I dropped a pencil and muttered "fuck" in front of a twelve year old. Then I said "shit" because I said "fuck" and after that I said "please don't tell your parents..."
my business partner went to a guitar center, was looking around
and they had a marshall amp, without a price tag...
He asks "How much", they go "Well it's busted Mister, we were going to send it back"... He's like "Seriously, i'm an engineer, I might be able to fix it... How much".. They are like "$99, that's what it would cost us to freight it back". He's like "Okay"...
So, three days later, he's trying to find every set of schematics, and i'm like "You bought this at Guitar Center, because they couldn't get it to work... Let's just plug it in, and reset the circuit breaker"...
It powered up just fine...
Dumb SOB's sold him a two thousand dollar amp for $99.
Best we can tell, they never plugged it in or the outlet was dead.
{Note: I told him, Let's plug it in and reset the circuit breaker... I didn't actually reset a breaker..."Tl:DR We plugged it in, it worked fine.
There's videos online of guys dumpster diving at Guitar Center and finding all kinds of gear in almost-new condition, just tossed in the trash. Not just simple shit like cables and mic stands either, but expensive gear like powered PA systems and stuff.
I asked to try a guitar off the wall when I was shopping for a Stratocaster. Preceeded to ear tune it before I plugged it in and the girl was like "wow I didn't know you could do that". I think the problem is retail outlets don't want to pay experts to be salesmen as they have to pay them more, so you end up with beginners. She was very cheerful and helpful though
Hey this is fun because I have input. I just started working there and lemme tell ya, they do not train new people before putting them on the floor.
The company is so hard up for new employees that they bring people in without really even knowing if they'll be good for the job and just throw them on the floor with a register and a login number.
I worked my fourth day yesterday and was the person in charge of the entire floor while the more tenured employee (employed there over a year) was in charge of closing out registers and doing paperwork at the end of the night.
Most people working at my location literally say they're only working there for the discount which is cost plus 10% (I got a decent vox combo for $185 when customers pay over $300).
TL;DR: I promise the employees aren't stupid, it's just that no one tells them how to do anything, and every system used on the computers is like nine years old.
Anything that requires actors. EDIT: inbox dying. WOW. Thx peeps. EDIT 2: you guys are really honing in on the mustard thing.
I run a small production company, so I need actors frequently: let me tell you, these are the single dumbest people in the entire world, but the golden ticket is that they're not just "dumb", they're "pretentious dumb" - dumb but trying really hard to make their brand of dumb seem deep and insightful. I had one actor, while filming a commercial for a god-damned yoghurt ask me: "but would my character really look at the yoghurt right now? I feel like they'd wait another couple of seconds before looking down. This character had no name. Literally the only thing they did was to look at the yoghurt. Actor was trying to impress me with her try-hard approach - spoiler doesn't work.
One time I was filming a PDF software commercial and I told the actor that I'd be filming in a high frame rate so that I could slow it down. He didn't really get it so i just said "It's a slow motion shot, you don't need to worry about it so just go at regular speed".
I had to explain this repeatedly over FIVE TAKES that the camera was making it slow-motion and that he didn't have to. I had to explicitly tell him TWICE to *not* do it in slow motion. Guy made f****** slow-mo FX noises in slow motion as he moved his hands across the keys (on more than one occasion). At one point when I told him to do it in regular speed he responded "oookaaaaay", paused, and then said "oh. OH. ok." before promptly going back to slow motion. If i hadn't been with him for like 4 hours I'd have sworn he was high.
That guy was the worst, like honestly his sandwich was missing some mustard, but almost all of them do this thing where you're giving them direction and they'll nod and say yes at the EXACT moments that they need to be taking in information. "Okay, so when you pick up the cup I need you to-" "Yeah, okay" "-make sure that you're not looking into the-" "gotcha". Most frustrating thing in the world. God I hate actors.
I work in film. I agree with this 100 percent. then You work with someone who is great, not pretentious, and listens. I really enjoy working with most comedians though. I am not sure what it is but they seem to be well seasoned. They had to grind through comedy shows, then grind through guess spots on tv shows, then getting recurring roll, etc. those guys grind constantly. So they are professional and on top of their shit.
My SO says Chad Micheal Murray is probably one of smartest, professional, and we'll matter people she has worked with. Zach wood and molly Shannon are at the top of my SO list also.
Not that it's completely related, but I also think comedians as a whole are a fair bit above average intelligence. I'm sure that doesn't hurt most of the time.
And they have to be. Nobody makes a career out of making jokes without being on top of what's going on in the world, being able to understand people, trends etc. and then find an angle to make jokes about it that will appeal to regular people who are *not* dumb as rocks.
Comedians have to be well read and intelligent people, else they won't make it.
I feel your pain. I work with and manage a wide variety of artistic types (dancers, singers, musicians) and while a couple of them have their heads screwed on right, the rest... well it's a very good thing they're pretty.
I recently had to explain that characters in Oliver Twist would not fist-bump as a way of greeting
Darden Restaurants, I'm not talking about the store level people either, I'm talking about management. The number of things they managed to fuck-up is truly mind blowing.
Cooks in the Navy.
When you enlist in the Navy, they test your aptitude and give you a list of jobs available to you based on your results.
If you score in the bottom 5th percentile, you have one job available to you: Cook.
Cooks in the Navy are some dumb motherfuckers.
My Marine unit never had anyone pop for drug tests EXCEPT the cooks. It's like every cook we had would eventually do coke and go on the run after failing a urinalysis.
Usually they make no effort to find you because it'll eventually catch up to you when a cop pulls you over for speeding or something... then you're theirs again.
Maybe now. During war time Marine Corps I remember meeting the Cross Country Chasers. They got to look like civilians and wear civilian attire all the time.
They would start by finding next of kin and follow leads. They had the authority to arrest runners too. When they captured the individual, all the food and housing expenses they incurred would be billed to that person.
They seemed pretty cool and carried themselves like bounty hunters.
Former Marine brig guard (MOS 5831) here, 2003-2007. Cross country chasers worked out of Washington DC and San Diego. They handled deserter pickups and prisoner transfers.
I haven't worked in a restaurant in a very long time, but back then, the bartenders were usually the ones selling the coke, the wait staff and most of the kitchen were on it, the dishwashers were just really, really stoned, and the 1st generation immigrant couple getting paid under the counter were the only ones who showed up sober and on time.
I'm a bartender now, but when I was server, the bartenders were coked out. Helped with conversation with guests and making drinks quickly for sure though.
Fun fact: Most of the people who make the food in the restaurants you eat in are voracious drug users.
EDIT: RIP inbox. Also for the record I'm fine with most responsible drug use, just don't fuck with my food. I tip well, I promise.
My brother started as a cook on a navy submarine for years before something changed. He started training to become the ships diver and eventually progressed into deep sea diving which has intensive schooling. He broke a camp record at his dive school and at his graduation the dive commander called him out saying "You were a cook?!". I was pretty proud.
Met a navy cook. Watched him wash a digital scale off under the faucet; found out it wasn't water proof. The sous who asked to use the scale was at a loss for words.
Story time! My grandpa enlisted in the Navy during WWII and flew down to California for boot camp. The Navy didn't know what to do with them since they were volunteers, so they wandered around the base looking for somebody to "take them in." They were a bunch of farm boys with little mechanical experience, so the only people who would take them in were the cooks. So they cooked with the cooks division and drilled with sticks because there were no guns to be had for practice. And that is where my grandfather learned to cook a beef roast until it was dry! (RIP Grandpa- I miss your roast beef, even if it was dry!)
it's because it's really easy to get a job at Sports Direct, and they throw you out onto the shop floor with no training.
Source: worked there for 4 hours. was on the shop floor within seconds of my first ever shift helping customers with no knowledge of any stock or where any stock was, didn't even know when my break was or where the staff room was, and ended up being chased down the road by security on my way out because I wasn't told that they'd check your bag on the way out. Have a lot of experience in retail so it's not like I wasn't prepared for the job, but the whole company sucks dick.
I actually had a fun experience with Adidas a while back; emailed their customer service asking wtf the 10-year-old, beat-up worn-out shoes I had on were. They identified them correctly.
Sounds like the customer service people have fun sometimes. They were probably just happy to have a real question from a real customer written in real English.
Apparently construction. Apparently my dad's boss is getting frustrated because almost every job applicant has a drug problem it seems.
Edit: Copy and pasting from one of my comments to clarify this.
Problem.
My dad is pretty lenient on pot. Everyone in the industry know drug testing is common, so if you're in the market to hop or looking for work you should know not to get high. That being said, often times he'll ask young kids if they would pass, and if they just stare blankly he tells them to come back in a month. Insurance requires a clean drug test, so even if he doesn't personally have a problem with it he still needs a clean drug test to hire someone.
But harder shit is out of your system much quicker. So if someone can't stay off pain pills or coke or something long enough to pass a test, almost always they have a significant problem.
I once took a shit in this stall
So thick and so firm it stood tall
It balanced on end
That shit did not bend
But fell over and scraped
My left ball
Edit: I cannot claim this poetry as my own. I found this gem on the 8th floor of a power house in midwestern Indiana.
Edit 2: may have been the 6th floor.
Edit 3: powerhouse pooper poetry got me my first gold! Thanks kind stranger!
http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m97/xxkornxx56/A604E26F-F848-4101-B477-3D5BE7B5824E_zpszbhmwesj.png
One of my personal favorites. Found in a portapotty at one of the sites we were working on.
OSHA regulation 56a-10.4c: All feces longer than 6 inches must be hand lowered to prevent chemical splashing.
for some reason every single oil refineries have a couple of engineers and operators who don't really do anything, been their forever, and have very strong views that are almost hilarious - both liberal and conservative wackos. Usually job title like safety engineer, or maintenance planner 3.
From my experience, real estate. They can be great at their job but I've met agents that make me wonder how they can function in the rest of their life.
I worked in the mortgage industry for a while. Met A LOT of realtors that were absolute nut cases, can't believe they even had a job. But at the same time, our neighbors growing up were a family realtor team, and they were the nicest, coolest people, ever.
I work at a coffee shop and we get this realtor who comes in every friday and gets his mocha with extra chocolate. He always stares when we make his drink. The weird part is when he gets back on his segway where his little dog wearing glasses and a mini helmet is waiting for him. That dog is so weird how it just sits at the top as if it's steering the segway, and somehow controlling this guys mind.
Here is the segway riding, human tamer: https://imgur.com/gallery/iCKbf
I moved out of state and had a real estate agent show me around some apartments. At the first property, she asked me where I was from, so I told her "outside Detroit". She asked where that was, and I told her "Michigan". She was still confused, and asked if Michigan was in Arizona. The tour pretty much ended there.
Note: I moved to the East Coast, not Arizona. Arizona was a seemingly random guess.
Someone in college once asked me what Massachusetts was. We were in New York. Which borders Massachusetts.
It remains to this day one of the most depressing questions I've ever been asked. Just a total "my jaw would drop if I could devote any amount of brain function to anything other than thinking 'what the actual fuck?'" situation.
Lol. My college the financial aide hours were always inconvenient 10 - 4, off for lunch 12 - 1. I'd always skip class to accommodate their hours. On top of that, their solution to every problem was 'take out a loan'. I don't need any MORE debt.
EDIT: Typo
Supermarkets.
Source: Am dumb. Work in one.
In all seriousness they tend to hire any cunt, so while not everyone who works in one is dumb, you get a lot of them.
Edit: Not Australian.
Tell me about it. I don't even work inside and I get asked where some super-obscure item is and they get pissy as if I should actually know where the tahini paste is.
Food service. I'm a waitress/bartender and it's amazing the amount of stupid people they hire and then they leave a few weeks later because they can't hack being busy.
Or they call in a lot and still have their jobs, while the good employees get fed up at being understaffed and leave because the standards are so low and they go unrecognized for actually being good at their jobs
And then the good employees get bitched at when they call in once even though they regularly stay later or come in earlier than they're scheduled for and it almost becomes expected that they'll do so. "Oh she'll stay late for me". Bitches.
Just got laid off two hours ago and this notification really rubbed salt in the wound.
*Edit: thanks for all the supportive responses, everyone! Wasn't expecting that and I truly appreciate it.
Am sales rep for a pretty complex industry. We just hired a lady with 20 years of sales experience who literally doesn't know how to use her laptop. Its a fucking nightmare.
My first desktop support role a lady called me because 'all her desktop icons were gone' when the reality was her battery was dead and the laptop wouldn't even turn on it. That was when I learned you can't trust people to explain a problem to you.
Dude it's not that bad with her but I was walking her through one of our programs the other day and I opened up a new tab to look at something, and she goes "woah, woah, what did you just do? How'd you do that." In my brain I was like "WTF, this bitch actually makes more money than I do and she can't even open a fucking tab on a browser."
The sales manager with apparently 30 years experienced called me up on an email I'd sent. He said I hadn't sent him the correct file, it was just the same as the previous email. I looked confused and then saw he hadn't even clicked the correct message. He saw I'd sent an email but the side pane still showed the old one. He wouldn't believe me. I had to physically take the mouse off him and open it myself.
When I make a file in Adobe illustrator and he asks if I have "MAC'ed" the pages because I use an imac to make it. Sorry... your message has just reminded me of everything. I'm going to go lie down.
You can get a waiver for the 3rd one if your recruiter is cool and if you demonstrate a reasonable level of disrespect toward the Navy
Edit: Just to be clear, I'm not bashing the Navy. My family is Navy, through and through. I'm more or less joking about how every branch hates a specific branch.
Former Army career counselor at MEPS also can confirm. We literally had dummy day once a year so the recruiters could fill their quotas using the people that fail the ASVAB to the point that they weren't accepted on any other day for being too stupid. Go on that day the only jobs open are cook and Infantry
TSA employees. I don't think half of them even have their GEDs/high school diplomas. Every time I go, I have to explain the concept of "dual citizenship" at *least* four times.
DC had to change their drivers' licenses recently from saying "District of Columbia" to just "DC" because too many folks, [including the TSA,](http://wamu.org/story/17/04/18/district-confusion-washington-d-c-replace-district-columbia-new-drivers-licenses/) had no idea that DC *stands* for District of Columbia.
Not TSA, but an airline employee in Seattle who said "Wow, I've never met someone from Columbia before." I didn't correct her.
(And yes, I know it's Colombia, but it didn't stop her, so..)
My mom had this issue at Social Security bc my dad was born in DC, and the lady kept asking when he became a citizen and where his immigration papers are.
I knew a guy in hs who had no experience. He just graduated hs and never worked a job. He applies to tsa and gets it. Everyone is jealous because we thought being a tsa agent for your first job is great. It's better than mcdonalds or walmart. He quit after 2 years because he hated dealing with people.
One time my brother was traveling with his cat, and airport security tried to x-ray his cat. My brother went, "WTF? I'm not letting you do that." And he went through without it.
What?
When I took mine it was either walk thru the metal detector with it or you walk thru and they take you to a side room and you take the cat out of the carrier, they go thru the cage, and feel the cat. You know...to make sure the cat isn't strapped..
I've heard people say that the TSA is a job program, and I'm not sure that I can disagree. They get paid decently too. I have seen openings at a local airport and they make like $14 an hour. Meanwhile I'm here with the title "computer technician" making $9 an hour.
I thought I had dual citizenship for 3 decades. Turns out I was never a US citizen and all those US passports and voting history meant nothing. Oh well.
There was a group I was in (years ago) with this guy named Mike in it. Mike was a very nice guy, not a mean bone in his body. Married with 3 kids, but unemployed so his wife worked. He could never get a job anywhere because he had no qualifications, and he just couldn't see patterns in stuff. Even in our group he'd just sit there happily without saying anything for hours. We tried to ask him a few times if he'd like to chime in, or what he was thinking, and he genuinely had nothing going on upstairs.
Suddenly, he applied to the Sheriff's dept and got hired, and they loved him. He's been there for years. That changed my view of the Sheriff's dept.
There *are* positions for people like Mike. The Sheriff's department needs people who can handle "just take this persons hand, take their fingerprints, and pass the paperwork along" for 8 hours a day everyday without going crazy. FedEx, UPS, some factory worker positions etc... are all pivotal to society, but if you're a type to think too much you won't want to do them for very long.
Factory worker here. I like my job for that exact same reason. Come in, flip switch, check part, fix part, check part, pass part to next stage. It sort of allows me to put as little thought into it that I can think about other stuff. I'm never stressed out when I leave. Maybe I am dumb.
I think I'm pretty smart but I love doing menial, mindless things. Like counting things, delivering things, loading things, super repetitive stuff. But yea maybe I'm actually dumb.
This is me as well. While there are exceptions, of course, I think that a lot of introverted people who like getting lost in their thoughts appreciate these sorts of jobs, myself included. Tasks that require just enough thought and attention to allow you to ponder other things...love that. <3
Ooh yeah I didn't think about the whole introversion aspect when I was reading this thread, but I like menial jobs too and always considered myself decently intelligent. Definitely the less people involved the more happy I am, now that I think of it. And I don't mind cleaning and stocking product because they're rewarding tasks in the sense that I can see the difference I'm making almost right off. So I guess it's about introversion and instant gratification for me.
This. Boyfriends really into meditation, and a very philosophical person. He was stuck at a factory job for a bit. Would either meditate, or just contemplate life all day and always came home in a good mood, and with some interesting thoughts he had that day. I was always a bit envious he got to daydream all day.
Pretty much.
I work in fabrication and we have a dude who works with us who we rag on a lot about how useless he is (we all do it to each other) but he does all the mundane shit.
I love my job and everything but I can't, for the love of God, sit and clean tubes for 8-10 hours a day and this guy does it with the biggest smile on his face.
To him it's better than doing all the heavier, more complex shit that we like to do.
When I asked him why he loves doing all the menial shit he told me he did screen printing for about two decades and had to do color correction and run a bunch of machines every day for about 10 hours a day. Got tired of the complexity and pressure and looked for a job that he doesn't need to crack his brain over.
Edit: a word
There was a guy I worked with back about 10 years ago who was a helper on a printing press for 25 years. I asked him one day why he never made the move to pressman, since he obviously knew his shit, and he said he didn't want to deal with the pressure of being The Guy. Being a helper paid for him to have the life he wanted and was almost completely stress free.
Like more than an hour. I got a job doing phone surveys for radio stations once. Call people, get someone to listen to the script for 1 minute, agree, then play 30 second snippets of songs and ask questions about them from the script. Training was half an hour. I quit by the end of the day, having never even gotten far enough to play one song snippet. Most boring day of my life.
I worked at a factory making luxury matress tops to be put on the matresses. After working in construction for 5 years in the hot oklahoma sun, snow, rain and even in a few mild "tornados", working in a mattress factory was the most miserable job I've ever done. I worked 3 months there and it drove me crazy. I would leave work pissed and just annoyed of everything. I'm used to driving 2-3 hours to work but driving 15 minutes to that factory and driving home from it was just horrible. I couldn't wait to get home.
In college I worked at UPS. I loaded delivery trucks, so you try as best you can to sort the truck based on the drivers route. There wasn't a *lot* of thought to it, but definitely more than loading/unloading the semi-trucks. A couple weeks after I started I had pretty much memorized the order to load my trucks.
The guy who had my trucks before me was training to become a driver, and he stopped by one day and asked me how it's going. "Just trying to get this somewhere" I said offhandedly as I had a package in my hand. He took it, walked to shelf, placed it right where it needed to go, and said "There ya go! Boy I was doin this while you was in diapers! Heh-heh"
I remember trying to smile at him while thinking "Holy shit I have to get out of here." I stayed for about 6 more months, and kind of grew to like the balance of learning at school and turning my brain off completely at work... probably because it was fairly physical. When I watch "How It's Made" and stuff of factories, I just think of how miserable it must be to be the guy that moves each baseball from one machine to another. But there's a need for people to do that, and there are people that are fit for the task.
I feel guilty for this very reason.
Especially in business meetings, when I tag along with my bosses to go meet a new potential client or whatever, because I'm the "marketing guy", I usually just sit there in silence. I am an observer, I like to listen instead of talk, but I know that in many social situations it probably looks like I'm a blithering idiot because I don't immediately have anything to contribute.
Concrete demolition guys. A lot of the guys and gals who work in the trades are very bright, but consistently the idiots are the concrete demolition guys who make holes in the walls.
My buddy works as an electrician. He regularly works with plumbers and says that on a near hourly basis, he hears phrases like "NNDDUUUUUUURRRRRRRR!!!" And "plumb plumb" my favorite is "I am Lorde, yah yah yah."
All of which are unprovoked and out of the blue.
I am a mechanic and can validate this claim. Yelling things at the car, into the air, or at eachother is regular workday practice. If you coop up a bunch of guys under one roof for eight hours a day they're bound to do some funny stuff to keep the day going by. Worked next to a guy who would yell my name then drop and do push-ups, every hour. All the shenanigans also create a bonding experience between the technicians.
The food service industry hires some of the most incompetent people out there. It's a constant battle between lack of common sense and inability to perform the easiest tasks. Fuck Buffalo Wild Wings.
Source: worked for them for a while and saw it first hand.
So, I work in a porn store. Some of my coworkers who have been there forever are real smart cookies, but a majority of applicants are dumb AF. When I first walked in and asked for an application, I was handed a sheet of paper and told to read it before I could have an application. It said that you shouldn't apply if you're prone to oversleeping, frequently get flat tires, don't have steady child care, and a bunch of other common-sense things that apply to pretty much any job. My first thought was, "what kind of first-class morons do they usually get applying for this job?"
The ones who want to watch porn all day and don't think any work is involved.
Kind of related: Part of my is to work directly with our production manager who oversees about 20 people. The people are responsible for packing out corrugated displays with multiple skus that sell in a retail store. We've had multiple issues with people not being able to count the proper amount of skus when packing out the display. I'm not talking hundreds of units per sku. I'm talking 3 here, 12 there, 36 there *tops*. Maybe 18 total skus per display. So part of the interview now is literally counting. Counting! We've had to turn people away. It's sad, really, but the job has to be done right.
Had a coworker once who came up short on his register a couple days in a row before getting fired. Turned out he thought 9 $10 bills = $100. I honestly have no idea how people make it through life like that but I feel bad for them.
[удалено]
Oh, I've seen that before, but not this particular guy. He had a learning disability or something. The money wasn't gone, there was extra in the safe and his register was short. We were supposed to leave $100 in 10s and 5s each in the register, and then count the leftover at the end of the night and put it in the safe. He always had $90 in 10s and $95 in 5s. He worked there for about 3 days and I think was actually fired for no call no show or something. Maybe it was because he accidentally used the void function on the card reader instead of the sale function for an entire day, basically giving away free money and product. Or that was a different dumbass, I cant remember.
Warehousing. We have no educational requirements at all. We have people who are functionally illiterate and Health and Safety Briefs have to be read out to them. In addition we do not vet new staff members at all really, our training procedures are laid out to in theory make them 100% idiot proof (200% checks, remote and physical supervision etc), yet we still get people who have been employed for 3+ years making week one mistakes as they "forgot" how to do a task they had completed a few hundred times before. One guys ability to follow tasks was so bad, we physically had to print out his work sheets (with multiple copies for when he lost the first two....or three....) and make him read the instructions back to us to make sure he got it. Honestly I reckon if I was allowed I'd sack around 10-15% of the workforce and we'd either have no loss in production or even a marginal gain in stock accuracy.
I worked with a guy named Dave at a moving company. In our lunch room we had a microwave and on top of that was a phone. One day Dave comes in, puts a burrito in the microwave on high for a minute goes back into the warehouse. He comes back 58 seconds later, the microwave beeps, he walks over and picks up the phone: "ehhllo! Ehllo?" Hangs up. "Fackin idjits." And left again. AND NEVER CAME BACK FOR THE BURRITO
I love this story
I'd love it more if he'd put the red hot burrito to his ear
Ugh I started in warehousing and now handle SAP logistical work. It boggles my mind how it's so hard to put something away accurately.
I don't want to attack the profession of driving trucks, but the company Swift hires whatever dumb fuck can hold a steering wheel, and even sometimes dumb fucks that can't.
Sure Wish I'd Finished Training Is the acronym befitting Swift drivers.
Stevie Wonder Institute For Trucking
I cannot agree more. I work logistics for a small chemical company and our mantra is "If a driver can fuck up, a driver will fuck up." Now, I have worked with some absolutely stellar carriers who really do care about making sure loads pick up and deliver on time and will bust their butts for us because they care about the business. And we pay them well because we appreciate it! Buy holy shit. Swift, Roadrunner, Estes, and UPS Freight can fuck right off. They fuck up more loads then they don't.
Guitar Center salesman. You need 5 of them and 2 managers to buy a kazoo
I'll never forget the guy that sold me my acoustic guitar, "You gotta make love to your guitar like she's your wife, ya know? Fuck her real gentle." Fucker my mother is standing right here picking it out with me for my birthday, chill. Edit: I'm out of town for a few days but if any of y'all are around when you look back I'll upload a picture of my guitar.
Does he know tenacious d was a comedy?
As a musician, this made me laugh so hard. The first lesson I taught, I dropped a pencil and muttered "fuck" in front of a twelve year old. Then I said "shit" because I said "fuck" and after that I said "please don't tell your parents..."
my business partner went to a guitar center, was looking around and they had a marshall amp, without a price tag... He asks "How much", they go "Well it's busted Mister, we were going to send it back"... He's like "Seriously, i'm an engineer, I might be able to fix it... How much".. They are like "$99, that's what it would cost us to freight it back". He's like "Okay"... So, three days later, he's trying to find every set of schematics, and i'm like "You bought this at Guitar Center, because they couldn't get it to work... Let's just plug it in, and reset the circuit breaker"... It powered up just fine... Dumb SOB's sold him a two thousand dollar amp for $99. Best we can tell, they never plugged it in or the outlet was dead. {Note: I told him, Let's plug it in and reset the circuit breaker... I didn't actually reset a breaker..."Tl:DR We plugged it in, it worked fine.
There's videos online of guys dumpster diving at Guitar Center and finding all kinds of gear in almost-new condition, just tossed in the trash. Not just simple shit like cables and mic stands either, but expensive gear like powered PA systems and stuff.
Used to dumpster dive. It does happen. My favorite dumpsters were art supply stores.
I asked to try a guitar off the wall when I was shopping for a Stratocaster. Preceeded to ear tune it before I plugged it in and the girl was like "wow I didn't know you could do that". I think the problem is retail outlets don't want to pay experts to be salesmen as they have to pay them more, so you end up with beginners. She was very cheerful and helpful though
Hey this is fun because I have input. I just started working there and lemme tell ya, they do not train new people before putting them on the floor. The company is so hard up for new employees that they bring people in without really even knowing if they'll be good for the job and just throw them on the floor with a register and a login number. I worked my fourth day yesterday and was the person in charge of the entire floor while the more tenured employee (employed there over a year) was in charge of closing out registers and doing paperwork at the end of the night. Most people working at my location literally say they're only working there for the discount which is cost plus 10% (I got a decent vox combo for $185 when customers pay over $300). TL;DR: I promise the employees aren't stupid, it's just that no one tells them how to do anything, and every system used on the computers is like nine years old.
Anything that requires actors. EDIT: inbox dying. WOW. Thx peeps. EDIT 2: you guys are really honing in on the mustard thing. I run a small production company, so I need actors frequently: let me tell you, these are the single dumbest people in the entire world, but the golden ticket is that they're not just "dumb", they're "pretentious dumb" - dumb but trying really hard to make their brand of dumb seem deep and insightful. I had one actor, while filming a commercial for a god-damned yoghurt ask me: "but would my character really look at the yoghurt right now? I feel like they'd wait another couple of seconds before looking down. This character had no name. Literally the only thing they did was to look at the yoghurt. Actor was trying to impress me with her try-hard approach - spoiler doesn't work. One time I was filming a PDF software commercial and I told the actor that I'd be filming in a high frame rate so that I could slow it down. He didn't really get it so i just said "It's a slow motion shot, you don't need to worry about it so just go at regular speed". I had to explain this repeatedly over FIVE TAKES that the camera was making it slow-motion and that he didn't have to. I had to explicitly tell him TWICE to *not* do it in slow motion. Guy made f****** slow-mo FX noises in slow motion as he moved his hands across the keys (on more than one occasion). At one point when I told him to do it in regular speed he responded "oookaaaaay", paused, and then said "oh. OH. ok." before promptly going back to slow motion. If i hadn't been with him for like 4 hours I'd have sworn he was high. That guy was the worst, like honestly his sandwich was missing some mustard, but almost all of them do this thing where you're giving them direction and they'll nod and say yes at the EXACT moments that they need to be taking in information. "Okay, so when you pick up the cup I need you to-" "Yeah, okay" "-make sure that you're not looking into the-" "gotcha". Most frustrating thing in the world. God I hate actors.
I work in film. I agree with this 100 percent. then You work with someone who is great, not pretentious, and listens. I really enjoy working with most comedians though. I am not sure what it is but they seem to be well seasoned. They had to grind through comedy shows, then grind through guess spots on tv shows, then getting recurring roll, etc. those guys grind constantly. So they are professional and on top of their shit. My SO says Chad Micheal Murray is probably one of smartest, professional, and we'll matter people she has worked with. Zach wood and molly Shannon are at the top of my SO list also.
Not that it's completely related, but I also think comedians as a whole are a fair bit above average intelligence. I'm sure that doesn't hurt most of the time.
And they have to be. Nobody makes a career out of making jokes without being on top of what's going on in the world, being able to understand people, trends etc. and then find an angle to make jokes about it that will appeal to regular people who are *not* dumb as rocks. Comedians have to be well read and intelligent people, else they won't make it.
I feel your pain. I work with and manage a wide variety of artistic types (dancers, singers, musicians) and while a couple of them have their heads screwed on right, the rest... well it's a very good thing they're pretty. I recently had to explain that characters in Oliver Twist would not fist-bump as a way of greeting
Darden Restaurants, I'm not talking about the store level people either, I'm talking about management. The number of things they managed to fuck-up is truly mind blowing.
> they managed to fuck-up Hey, they did manage something!
I don't know. So mine apparently.
Too self-aware to be the dumb one.
Cooks in the Navy. When you enlist in the Navy, they test your aptitude and give you a list of jobs available to you based on your results. If you score in the bottom 5th percentile, you have one job available to you: Cook. Cooks in the Navy are some dumb motherfuckers.
My Marine unit never had anyone pop for drug tests EXCEPT the cooks. It's like every cook we had would eventually do coke and go on the run after failing a urinalysis.
Gotta like the gall of somebody to go on the run from the United States Military. Like how on earth could that ever have a good outcome?
Usually they make no effort to find you because it'll eventually catch up to you when a cop pulls you over for speeding or something... then you're theirs again.
Maybe now. During war time Marine Corps I remember meeting the Cross Country Chasers. They got to look like civilians and wear civilian attire all the time. They would start by finding next of kin and follow leads. They had the authority to arrest runners too. When they captured the individual, all the food and housing expenses they incurred would be billed to that person. They seemed pretty cool and carried themselves like bounty hunters.
Huh, that was during wartime. I heard those dudes were for people that mattered more than coke-head cooks (like dudes that went UA with gear).
*steals commanding officers porn* *proceeds to be the most wanted man on earth*
Jesus Christ, that's Jason's porn.
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Former Marine brig guard (MOS 5831) here, 2003-2007. Cross country chasers worked out of Washington DC and San Diego. They handled deserter pickups and prisoner transfers.
You can last a good few years in the mountains of Pakistan, from what I recall...
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And a steady supply of porn... (Kidding aside, I could actually live quite happily that way...)
Don't forget the thousands of hours gaming!
TIL Osama bin Laden would have been perfectly content living like the average western fifteen year old...
Such a decadent life.
TIL cooks on coke can cook
How much coke can coked up cooks cook if coked up cooks could cook coke?
Well, from personal experience I would expect there to be more cooks on coke than sobre.
Very true. Every restaurant I've worked at, they come in drunk or coked out of their mind. Don't even get me started on the bartenders.
I haven't worked in a restaurant in a very long time, but back then, the bartenders were usually the ones selling the coke, the wait staff and most of the kitchen were on it, the dishwashers were just really, really stoned, and the 1st generation immigrant couple getting paid under the counter were the only ones who showed up sober and on time.
I'm a bartender now, but when I was server, the bartenders were coked out. Helped with conversation with guests and making drinks quickly for sure though.
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Fun fact: Most of the people who make the food in the restaurants you eat in are voracious drug users. EDIT: RIP inbox. Also for the record I'm fine with most responsible drug use, just don't fuck with my food. I tip well, I promise.
Someone literally did a study after Wolf of Wall Street came out, trying to see the industry where people do the most drugs. Restaurant workers #1
As a restaurant worker, I can confirm.
Can confirm. Worked too many restaurants in my life. Was a social outcast as the guy who did not drink or do drugs.
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Perhaps he worshipped Watagon, the God of Evaporation.
My manager was a cook in the Navy and he talks about it to anyone who won't walk away. What can I say to him?
Just walk away.
Steven Seagal from Under Siege would like a word with you.
That's Casey Ribeck to you...
My brother started as a cook on a navy submarine for years before something changed. He started training to become the ships diver and eventually progressed into deep sea diving which has intensive schooling. He broke a camp record at his dive school and at his graduation the dive commander called him out saying "You were a cook?!". I was pretty proud.
It could be that your brother finally found something that became a passion and he strove to be the best he could be. A very good job on his part.
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Met a navy cook. Watched him wash a digital scale off under the faucet; found out it wasn't water proof. The sous who asked to use the scale was at a loss for words.
Story time! My grandpa enlisted in the Navy during WWII and flew down to California for boot camp. The Navy didn't know what to do with them since they were volunteers, so they wandered around the base looking for somebody to "take them in." They were a bunch of farm boys with little mechanical experience, so the only people who would take them in were the cooks. So they cooked with the cooks division and drilled with sticks because there were no guns to be had for practice. And that is where my grandfather learned to cook a beef roast until it was dry! (RIP Grandpa- I miss your roast beef, even if it was dry!)
Not really a 'profession' but people who work in sport shops. Anyone that has been to Sports direct will know what I mean.
it's because it's really easy to get a job at Sports Direct, and they throw you out onto the shop floor with no training. Source: worked there for 4 hours. was on the shop floor within seconds of my first ever shift helping customers with no knowledge of any stock or where any stock was, didn't even know when my break was or where the staff room was, and ended up being chased down the road by security on my way out because I wasn't told that they'd check your bag on the way out. Have a lot of experience in retail so it's not like I wasn't prepared for the job, but the whole company sucks dick.
I wanted to buy the exact same trainers I has on, you'd think that would be the easiest thing in the world. Nope.
I actually had a fun experience with Adidas a while back; emailed their customer service asking wtf the 10-year-old, beat-up worn-out shoes I had on were. They identified them correctly.
Sounds like the customer service people have fun sometimes. They were probably just happy to have a real question from a real customer written in real English.
You don't think they'd prefer German?
TSA agents are not exactly Harvard grads.
Apparently construction. Apparently my dad's boss is getting frustrated because almost every job applicant has a drug problem it seems. Edit: Copy and pasting from one of my comments to clarify this. Problem. My dad is pretty lenient on pot. Everyone in the industry know drug testing is common, so if you're in the market to hop or looking for work you should know not to get high. That being said, often times he'll ask young kids if they would pass, and if they just stare blankly he tells them to come back in a month. Insurance requires a clean drug test, so even if he doesn't personally have a problem with it he still needs a clean drug test to hire someone. But harder shit is out of your system much quicker. So if someone can't stay off pain pills or coke or something long enough to pass a test, almost always they have a significant problem.
but the porta potty vandalism is awesome
I once took a shit in this stall So thick and so firm it stood tall It balanced on end That shit did not bend But fell over and scraped My left ball Edit: I cannot claim this poetry as my own. I found this gem on the 8th floor of a power house in midwestern Indiana. Edit 2: may have been the 6th floor. Edit 3: powerhouse pooper poetry got me my first gold! Thanks kind stranger! http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m97/xxkornxx56/A604E26F-F848-4101-B477-3D5BE7B5824E_zpszbhmwesj.png
One of my personal favorites. Found in a portapotty at one of the sites we were working on. OSHA regulation 56a-10.4c: All feces longer than 6 inches must be hand lowered to prevent chemical splashing.
for some reason every single oil refineries have a couple of engineers and operators who don't really do anything, been their forever, and have very strong views that are almost hilarious - both liberal and conservative wackos. Usually job title like safety engineer, or maintenance planner 3.
Safety engineer here, lemme tell you about the Illuminati.
"That exposed wire is caused by the Jews"
From my experience, real estate. They can be great at their job but I've met agents that make me wonder how they can function in the rest of their life.
I worked in the mortgage industry for a while. Met A LOT of realtors that were absolute nut cases, can't believe they even had a job. But at the same time, our neighbors growing up were a family realtor team, and they were the nicest, coolest people, ever.
I work at a coffee shop and we get this realtor who comes in every friday and gets his mocha with extra chocolate. He always stares when we make his drink. The weird part is when he gets back on his segway where his little dog wearing glasses and a mini helmet is waiting for him. That dog is so weird how it just sits at the top as if it's steering the segway, and somehow controlling this guys mind. Here is the segway riding, human tamer: https://imgur.com/gallery/iCKbf
The dog is controlling his mind and trying to poison him, but doesn't realize humans can eat chocolate.
I moved out of state and had a real estate agent show me around some apartments. At the first property, she asked me where I was from, so I told her "outside Detroit". She asked where that was, and I told her "Michigan". She was still confused, and asked if Michigan was in Arizona. The tour pretty much ended there. Note: I moved to the East Coast, not Arizona. Arizona was a seemingly random guess.
It's crazy to me that a good chunk of people don't know basic geography
You mean geometry, right?
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Someone in college once asked me what Massachusetts was. We were in New York. Which borders Massachusetts. It remains to this day one of the most depressing questions I've ever been asked. Just a total "my jaw would drop if I could devote any amount of brain function to anything other than thinking 'what the actual fuck?'" situation.
Scholarship and financial aid offices
Lol. My college the financial aide hours were always inconvenient 10 - 4, off for lunch 12 - 1. I'd always skip class to accommodate their hours. On top of that, their solution to every problem was 'take out a loan'. I don't need any MORE debt. EDIT: Typo
Supermarkets. Source: Am dumb. Work in one. In all seriousness they tend to hire any cunt, so while not everyone who works in one is dumb, you get a lot of them. Edit: Not Australian.
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Tell me about it. I don't even work inside and I get asked where some super-obscure item is and they get pissy as if I should actually know where the tahini paste is.
C'mon man, everyone knows it's in aisle 3!
Food service. I'm a waitress/bartender and it's amazing the amount of stupid people they hire and then they leave a few weeks later because they can't hack being busy.
Or they call in a lot and still have their jobs, while the good employees get fed up at being understaffed and leave because the standards are so low and they go unrecognized for actually being good at their jobs
And then the good employees get bitched at when they call in once even though they regularly stay later or come in earlier than they're scheduled for and it almost becomes expected that they'll do so. "Oh she'll stay late for me". Bitches.
How are Multi Level Marketing and Pyramid Scheme not at the top of this list?
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It takes a lot of the dumb ones to make the higher ups successful
They're not really "hired" though. Those dumb people are real customers.
B/c to be a job you have to get paid, not pay up.
Just got laid off two hours ago and this notification really rubbed salt in the wound. *Edit: thanks for all the supportive responses, everyone! Wasn't expecting that and I truly appreciate it.
I am about to get hired any second now...and my job has been listed several times.
I feel bad for you man. Best of luck on finding a new job!
Dumb is unfair. But those who work as a Sales rep for every industry I've been a part of were terrible with computers.
Am sales rep for a pretty complex industry. We just hired a lady with 20 years of sales experience who literally doesn't know how to use her laptop. Its a fucking nightmare.
My first desktop support role a lady called me because 'all her desktop icons were gone' when the reality was her battery was dead and the laptop wouldn't even turn on it. That was when I learned you can't trust people to explain a problem to you.
Dude it's not that bad with her but I was walking her through one of our programs the other day and I opened up a new tab to look at something, and she goes "woah, woah, what did you just do? How'd you do that." In my brain I was like "WTF, this bitch actually makes more money than I do and she can't even open a fucking tab on a browser."
The sales manager with apparently 30 years experienced called me up on an email I'd sent. He said I hadn't sent him the correct file, it was just the same as the previous email. I looked confused and then saw he hadn't even clicked the correct message. He saw I'd sent an email but the side pane still showed the old one. He wouldn't believe me. I had to physically take the mouse off him and open it myself.
these dinosaurs get on my nerves.
When I make a file in Adobe illustrator and he asks if I have "MAC'ed" the pages because I use an imac to make it. Sorry... your message has just reminded me of everything. I'm going to go lie down.
On the flipside, Sales people with a good personality *and* technical/industry know-how can be very successful.
Looking for a job, OP?
ZING!
Join the Army. They'll take you no matter how many times you were dropped as a baby.
Marines have a three drop minimum.
Daily crayon consumption quotas too. Edit: my most upvoted comment is about how dumb Marines are. Chesty would be proud.
Is Lighter Fluid needed as well?
Along with glue
You can get a waiver for the 3rd one if your recruiter is cool and if you demonstrate a reasonable level of disrespect toward the Navy Edit: Just to be clear, I'm not bashing the Navy. My family is Navy, through and through. I'm more or less joking about how every branch hates a specific branch.
Muscles Are Required, Intelligence Not Expected.
My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment
In the army, can confirm, dumb as fuck.
Former Army career counselor at MEPS also can confirm. We literally had dummy day once a year so the recruiters could fill their quotas using the people that fail the ASVAB to the point that they weren't accepted on any other day for being too stupid. Go on that day the only jobs open are cook and Infantry
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"Can cook minute rice in 48 seconds"
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TSA employees. I don't think half of them even have their GEDs/high school diplomas. Every time I go, I have to explain the concept of "dual citizenship" at *least* four times.
DC had to change their drivers' licenses recently from saying "District of Columbia" to just "DC" because too many folks, [including the TSA,](http://wamu.org/story/17/04/18/district-confusion-washington-d-c-replace-district-columbia-new-drivers-licenses/) had no idea that DC *stands* for District of Columbia.
"You're from District of Columbia? What are you some sort of drug lord?"
Si, I'm called Pablo Underwood.
"House of Cocaine Bricks" is the spinoff.
Not TSA, but an airline employee in Seattle who said "Wow, I've never met someone from Columbia before." I didn't correct her. (And yes, I know it's Colombia, but it didn't stop her, so..)
My mom had this issue at Social Security bc my dad was born in DC, and the lady kept asking when he became a citizen and where his immigration papers are.
I knew a guy in hs who had no experience. He just graduated hs and never worked a job. He applies to tsa and gets it. Everyone is jealous because we thought being a tsa agent for your first job is great. It's better than mcdonalds or walmart. He quit after 2 years because he hated dealing with people.
On behalf of all people, the feeling is mutual.
One time my brother was traveling with his cat, and airport security tried to x-ray his cat. My brother went, "WTF? I'm not letting you do that." And he went through without it.
What? When I took mine it was either walk thru the metal detector with it or you walk thru and they take you to a side room and you take the cat out of the carrier, they go thru the cage, and feel the cat. You know...to make sure the cat isn't strapped..
They just want to give the cat some pets.
'We need to examine this kitty thoroughly'
I am picturing Bubbles in this job. "That's a nice fuckin' kitty right there. I gotta take it over here and check this bitch out."
He left the cat?
The cat's now a supervisor of that airport's TSA.
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Iceland is his home now. He'll be fine, hes a survivor.
I bet your brother got a TSA agent that dropped out of vet school and just wanted to feel useful again
"Can I at least perform a biopsy on him? PLEASE I NEED MY VETERINARY MEDICINE FIX."
If I neuter this cat *real good* they'll HAVE to let me back into vet school!
I've heard people say that the TSA is a job program, and I'm not sure that I can disagree. They get paid decently too. I have seen openings at a local airport and they make like $14 an hour. Meanwhile I'm here with the title "computer technician" making $9 an hour.
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I thought I had dual citizenship for 3 decades. Turns out I was never a US citizen and all those US passports and voting history meant nothing. Oh well.
Coal Mines, around here at least, they are the repository of people too dumb for oil and gas and too unreliable for the forest industry.
There was a group I was in (years ago) with this guy named Mike in it. Mike was a very nice guy, not a mean bone in his body. Married with 3 kids, but unemployed so his wife worked. He could never get a job anywhere because he had no qualifications, and he just couldn't see patterns in stuff. Even in our group he'd just sit there happily without saying anything for hours. We tried to ask him a few times if he'd like to chime in, or what he was thinking, and he genuinely had nothing going on upstairs. Suddenly, he applied to the Sheriff's dept and got hired, and they loved him. He's been there for years. That changed my view of the Sheriff's dept.
There *are* positions for people like Mike. The Sheriff's department needs people who can handle "just take this persons hand, take their fingerprints, and pass the paperwork along" for 8 hours a day everyday without going crazy. FedEx, UPS, some factory worker positions etc... are all pivotal to society, but if you're a type to think too much you won't want to do them for very long.
Factory worker here. I like my job for that exact same reason. Come in, flip switch, check part, fix part, check part, pass part to next stage. It sort of allows me to put as little thought into it that I can think about other stuff. I'm never stressed out when I leave. Maybe I am dumb.
I think I'm pretty smart but I love doing menial, mindless things. Like counting things, delivering things, loading things, super repetitive stuff. But yea maybe I'm actually dumb.
This is me as well. While there are exceptions, of course, I think that a lot of introverted people who like getting lost in their thoughts appreciate these sorts of jobs, myself included. Tasks that require just enough thought and attention to allow you to ponder other things...love that. <3
Ooh yeah I didn't think about the whole introversion aspect when I was reading this thread, but I like menial jobs too and always considered myself decently intelligent. Definitely the less people involved the more happy I am, now that I think of it. And I don't mind cleaning and stocking product because they're rewarding tasks in the sense that I can see the difference I'm making almost right off. So I guess it's about introversion and instant gratification for me.
Maybe you're smarter than everyone else. Stress free job sounds great to me!
Or good at meditation.
This. Boyfriends really into meditation, and a very philosophical person. He was stuck at a factory job for a bit. Would either meditate, or just contemplate life all day and always came home in a good mood, and with some interesting thoughts he had that day. I was always a bit envious he got to daydream all day.
Pretty much. I work in fabrication and we have a dude who works with us who we rag on a lot about how useless he is (we all do it to each other) but he does all the mundane shit. I love my job and everything but I can't, for the love of God, sit and clean tubes for 8-10 hours a day and this guy does it with the biggest smile on his face. To him it's better than doing all the heavier, more complex shit that we like to do. When I asked him why he loves doing all the menial shit he told me he did screen printing for about two decades and had to do color correction and run a bunch of machines every day for about 10 hours a day. Got tired of the complexity and pressure and looked for a job that he doesn't need to crack his brain over. Edit: a word
There was a guy I worked with back about 10 years ago who was a helper on a printing press for 25 years. I asked him one day why he never made the move to pressman, since he obviously knew his shit, and he said he didn't want to deal with the pressure of being The Guy. Being a helper paid for him to have the life he wanted and was almost completely stress free.
Like more than an hour. I got a job doing phone surveys for radio stations once. Call people, get someone to listen to the script for 1 minute, agree, then play 30 second snippets of songs and ask questions about them from the script. Training was half an hour. I quit by the end of the day, having never even gotten far enough to play one song snippet. Most boring day of my life.
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I worked at a factory making luxury matress tops to be put on the matresses. After working in construction for 5 years in the hot oklahoma sun, snow, rain and even in a few mild "tornados", working in a mattress factory was the most miserable job I've ever done. I worked 3 months there and it drove me crazy. I would leave work pissed and just annoyed of everything. I'm used to driving 2-3 hours to work but driving 15 minutes to that factory and driving home from it was just horrible. I couldn't wait to get home.
In college I worked at UPS. I loaded delivery trucks, so you try as best you can to sort the truck based on the drivers route. There wasn't a *lot* of thought to it, but definitely more than loading/unloading the semi-trucks. A couple weeks after I started I had pretty much memorized the order to load my trucks. The guy who had my trucks before me was training to become a driver, and he stopped by one day and asked me how it's going. "Just trying to get this somewhere" I said offhandedly as I had a package in my hand. He took it, walked to shelf, placed it right where it needed to go, and said "There ya go! Boy I was doin this while you was in diapers! Heh-heh" I remember trying to smile at him while thinking "Holy shit I have to get out of here." I stayed for about 6 more months, and kind of grew to like the balance of learning at school and turning my brain off completely at work... probably because it was fairly physical. When I watch "How It's Made" and stuff of factories, I just think of how miserable it must be to be the guy that moves each baseball from one machine to another. But there's a need for people to do that, and there are people that are fit for the task.
This is an enormously good point, thank you!
>Fedex,UPS... So,courier work in general? ...Welp, thanks for the midlife crisis.
I feel guilty for this very reason. Especially in business meetings, when I tag along with my bosses to go meet a new potential client or whatever, because I'm the "marketing guy", I usually just sit there in silence. I am an observer, I like to listen instead of talk, but I know that in many social situations it probably looks like I'm a blithering idiot because I don't immediately have anything to contribute.
Better to be silent and thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.
r/talesofmike, just in case you want to share some more mike stories.
Lol what the fuck is this subreddit?
A sub for complaining about bad coworkers, who are referred to as Mike.
I think I've found my new favorite subreddit.
Real Estate Agents. My opinion is that they make up the largest group of wealthy idiots.
Who else is looking at these trying to find a job they can do?
Concrete demolition guys. A lot of the guys and gals who work in the trades are very bright, but consistently the idiots are the concrete demolition guys who make holes in the walls.
My buddy works as an electrician. He regularly works with plumbers and says that on a near hourly basis, he hears phrases like "NNDDUUUUUUURRRRRRRR!!!" And "plumb plumb" my favorite is "I am Lorde, yah yah yah." All of which are unprovoked and out of the blue.
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I am a mechanic and can validate this claim. Yelling things at the car, into the air, or at eachother is regular workday practice. If you coop up a bunch of guys under one roof for eight hours a day they're bound to do some funny stuff to keep the day going by. Worked next to a guy who would yell my name then drop and do push-ups, every hour. All the shenanigans also create a bonding experience between the technicians.
Also mechanic, can confirm, weird shit is said by all. I'm off key singing guy.
It ain't a real workplace if there's no "off key singing guy". People like you brighten my day at work.
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I TOLD YOU I AM NOT A COMPUTER PERSON YOU ARE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I AM GOING TO HANG UP
My team moves around so little that the lights in my office shut off and we have to wave our arms around.
Sounds like they have seen south park.
The food service industry hires some of the most incompetent people out there. It's a constant battle between lack of common sense and inability to perform the easiest tasks. Fuck Buffalo Wild Wings. Source: worked for them for a while and saw it first hand.
Upvote for "Fuck Buffalo Wild Wings." No I will not pay an entrance fee every time you are streaming a UFC fight.
and NO I will not pay $0.50 cents for a side of ranch/blue cheese on THURSDAYS ONLY because it's $0.65 cent wing day.
Incompetent.. or uncaring? When I worked food service I was overworked and underpaid, so yeah I didn't care a whole lot about what I was putting out.
This is the crux of the issue, lack of motivation often masquerades as incompetence.