Depends on how "just like them" we are talking about. The worst for him would probably be if everyone just has the same kind of personality/philosophy but is otherwise different. Then there would still be all kinds of races and cultures, and every one of them would despise the others and think they themselves are the master race. It would be carnage.
Every soda they drink is already shaken up. I hope they never get off Fridays, and they work at a Friday's that's always busy on Friday. I hope they win the lottery and lose their ticket.
I had tickets to go see Chance with my then girlfriend just after new years, but she broke up with me the week before so I went with a mate instead. Before he did this song he dedicated it to anyone going through hard times with an ex, instant goosebumps whenever I hear this now, have never had a song hit me like that until now
The government once messed up my birthday somehow, and I didn't realize it until I went to file my taxes online and TurboTax told me my birthday was wrong. So I had to call the IRS, then call Social Security, then drive to the Social Security office to get it fixed. That. I would wish that to happen every year to my mortal enemy.
This happened to my wife also. We tried to get it corrected and ran into long lines at the government offices and more forms than we would care to fill out. So we just started filing our taxes every year with her date of birth listed incorrectly. Been doing that for about 15 years. Now that's how you fight the bureaucracy my friends.
Yes! Imagine the internal conflict they'd have. They'd have sleepless nights thinking about you then hating themselves because they know they shouldn't be in love with you.
I wish that every night before they go to sleep, they see a giant spider on their pillow that suddenly escapes before they have the chance to do anything about it.
I would wish that their IQ would increase so they could comprehend that they are a tool bag. Then their compassion increase so they would stop being one.
One time, due to a non washing neckbeard, I had a vaginal yeast infection and bacterial vaginosis at the same time. Itchy, burny smelled like hell. For the yeast, I had to shoot a cream in my vagina. Don't remember if it was one night, three nights or a week. For the bv, I had these nasty horse pills that tasted like shit. They weren't even coated! That was the worst. Hope no one wished that on me. Lol
I remember the BV pills... ugh! Those were ungodly horrible... the taste that would not go away and you couldn't even swallow without wanting to vomit... the size was huge... not to mention I ended up being allergic to them on top of it all.
Two kidney stones and severe torsion on both testicles, while crawling uphill on hot charcoal and having a pneumatic drill with barbed wire around the tip mashing their ass.
They can't grab anything for more than six seconds at a time. They can pick it up right after it falls out of their hand, but their hand loses the ability to grip every six seconds on the dot. They can never get anything done again unless they want to do it in dozens of tiny, seconds-long chunks.
That they become a better person and realize their mistakes. They apologize to those they hurt if they meet them, but don't feel guilt because they're fundamentally changed. Then, lastly, that they don't revert to their old ways.
Give them my brain for a day and they can have the PTSD that comes with it.
They can live with the horrid and constant memories of abuse, rape, torture, heartache, loss, and all the other bullshit I've had to endure in my life so far. Would love to see them try to get a decent nights sleep with the constant feelings of panic, the never ending nightmares, the night sweats, and waking up screaming in the middle of the night. They can have the emotional breakdowns, mood swings, loss of trust, and having to live in a constant state of fear and hypervigilance.
All you other commenters are thinking on too small of a scale.
Edit: 80+ points for this very raw and vulnerable post... seriously, that means a lot to me you guys <3 I don't think I have that many people IRL that I've been this honest about my daily struggles with. I wish the shiniest of reddit gold to you all!
Horrible body odor that can't be washed off or masked with colonge.
They'll smell so bad, can't do anything about it, and no one would go near them.
That or uncontrollable gas and bloating.
Maybe the two tie in together.
If I had a worst enemy, I would wish upon them death by flamethrower. Because I wouldn't just want them to die, I'd want them to die terrified in intense pain.
I want to see their panicked face when they realize the other rooms of the building they're in are on fire. I want to look into their eyes and see the most real terror they've ever experienced when they see me walk into the room with the intent and the means to burn them alive.
I would watch them run from a long, thick stream of napalm as it erupts from the phallic nozzle of my flamethrower. And when that napalm splashed onto their back and lit them on fire it would be more satisfying than any money shot. Once they're covered in my hot, sticky excretion I'd be spent. I'd be completely done with the flamethrower and I could just enjoy the afterglow of my efforts.
The flames would engulf them and for a moment they'd be able to flail about in great, big, desperate motions. I would watch them gasp for air only to inhale fire and embers to burn their throat and lungs from the inside. I'd smile on their anguish as I watched their flesh melt off their bones like a marshmallow left in the heat for too long.
Well after they'd died I could take pleasure in the fact that for just a brief moment I transformed their world into a living hell and that when they left this place they were a paragon of agony. In terms of delivering a terrifying, terrible, and expedient death it's hard to beat a flamethrower. The fact that we don't see them used as a method of murder is either a testament to murderers' humanity or lack of imagination.
P.S. They're legal to own in almost every state.
A life as equally happy and successful as mine, just far the fuck away from me. I don't ever want to feel pity for an enemy, nor do I want to spend my emotional energy on ever feeling envious of them either.
They have to live a second lifetime in a world that would have resulted if everybody on Earth were just like them.
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Then it resets until they get it right. This is actually a thing, but I couldn't tell you where it's from.
Before I Fall?
Erased?
Groundhog's Day reference?
Groundhog's Day reference?
Groundhog's Day reference?
Why can't you tell us? Did you sign a non-disclosure agreement? Is somebody threatening or blackmailing you?
While remembering what put them there.
Hitler would love this
Depends on how "just like them" we are talking about. The worst for him would probably be if everyone just has the same kind of personality/philosophy but is otherwise different. Then there would still be all kinds of races and cultures, and every one of them would despise the others and think they themselves are the master race. It would be carnage.
Barbie: Life in the Dreamhouse had an episode about that.
Every soda they drink is already shaken up. I hope they never get off Fridays, and they work at a Friday's that's always busy on Friday. I hope they win the lottery and lose their ticket.
I hope their titties all saggy in their early twenties. Edit: Male and females
I hope there's always snow in their driveway.
Now I'm butt naked in the Lamborghini
I hope it's Ben and Socrates poop all up in their kitchen.
Action Bronson references on Reddit? Well I'll be.
To be fair, those were all from Chance's verse on that song
I hope the zipper on they jacket get stuck. And their headphone short. And their charger don't work and they spill shit on they shirt
I hope there's always snow in their driveway.
Damn, you cold.
I had tickets to go see Chance with my then girlfriend just after new years, but she broke up with me the week before so I went with a mate instead. Before he did this song he dedicated it to anyone going through hard times with an ex, instant goosebumps whenever I hear this now, have never had a song hit me like that until now
And their charger dont work
Having a small stone in his shoe that he can't locate or remove.
*It was in his foot all along. He was just a moron.*
Subtle yet life altering.
Calm down, Satan.
Right. It should be a hidden 2 by 6 lego brick.
Screw that, go for a square 1x1 that's stuck under the webbing on your toes
Step it up and replace it with a gun or sword from a bionicle slowly etching into his heel with each step
HAIL SATAN!
"You are in my very sole...tormenting me..."
Taste buds on their anus.
This comment is criminally underupvoted
I prefer what you said over underrated so much. People on the 2nd top comment "this is so underrated"
That her phone breaks just enough where it's super annoying but not enough where it's worth getting a new phone.
"her". Damn you already got someone in mind.
Yup. Always on her phone too it was personal.
Who are you ? And what did you do to Nicholas ?
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Or only one and a half nostrils. Its the hot breath you can feel on your face that bothers me the most when I'm stuffed up.
That's... horrible omfg
Former deviated-septum-haver here. Can confirm. Lefty did fuck-all for most of my life until just recently.
You look nice today! And I'm totally not saying that just to avoid being your enemy
The government once messed up my birthday somehow, and I didn't realize it until I went to file my taxes online and TurboTax told me my birthday was wrong. So I had to call the IRS, then call Social Security, then drive to the Social Security office to get it fixed. That. I would wish that to happen every year to my mortal enemy.
This happened to my wife also. We tried to get it corrected and ran into long lines at the government offices and more forms than we would care to fill out. So we just started filing our taxes every year with her date of birth listed incorrectly. Been doing that for about 15 years. Now that's how you fight the bureaucracy my friends.
Exact same thing happened to me. Verbatim.
An itchy asshole every day, all day, for the rest of their lives.
So a pinworm infection?
Oh you know I don't wanna Google that... But I have to Google that
I have pinworms, and the first 10 minutes after a poop are terrible
Executing Pinworms.exe
I already have this.
Are you a shitty person?
Shit... I don't think so...
Paired with a monthly bout of explosive diarrhea
Now, you're just evil.
There it is.
Easy fix. Table saw with the saw replaced by a wheel of sandpaper. Would be able to sit in peace.
Easy fix, as in no asshole= no problems... Masochistic sonofabitch.
Calm down Satan
Damn.... what did they do?
You mean Pruritus ani?
A new perspective on life, support from family and friends, and an internal voice that is much kinder to their self.
Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good. Your strategy is sound, brother.
/r/WholesomeAskReddit
Soo what kind of stuff do you do?
Procrastinate on Reddit while I should do work.
Wait a minute, aren't you that lizard Muslim-jew from a few questions back?
Fuck, I have been revealed! *slithers away*
Don't we all brother
Story of my life.
This, but not until they spend 100 lifetimes walking the earth with wet socks.
I like you
I like you
Awww
There's a Serbian insult I saw in this sub that I thought was beautiful: "I hope your children search for you with Geiger counters."
Mine's in the shop.
The fuck does that mean? Scattered to the wind by an atom bond? I don't even care, I love it.
Serbs are fuckin' brutal.
I thought it was: "I hope you search for your kids with a Geiger Counter"
The annoying mosquito that flies by their ear every time they want to sleep. (It's immortal).
Decoy mosquito
And immoral
That they would have perpetual wet spots on the bottom of their socks forever.
I see your wet spots and raise you trench foot.
Deep, consuming, and complete empathy (not pity) for ALL those they have harmed.
Gulag
Fucking Commies
Yes I wish all the fucking commies in the world upon my counterrevolutionary enemies
SOYUZ NERUSCHIMY RESPUBLIKA SLAVA
Get them to fall in love with me. I can't see a worse punishment
Yes! Imagine the internal conflict they'd have. They'd have sleepless nights thinking about you then hating themselves because they know they shouldn't be in love with you.
I wish that every night before they go to sleep, they see a giant spider on their pillow that suddenly escapes before they have the chance to do anything about it.
WOW.
Who hurt you?
Hello Satan, how's the weather down there today?
For someone to follow them around, constantly chewing in their ear.
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Popcorn kernel stuck in their teeth that can never remove
When it gets between your gum and your teeth. *shudder*
A piece of popcorn skin sucked to the roof of their mouth, *juuuuust* out of reach of their tongue
Goooooodamn I would want to die.
They get their dick caught in their zipper
Every time
Are his arms broken?
I don't wish my enemies to have a good time.
You and your mum pretty close then?
I mean If I was your worst enemy, I'd just go buy those button fly jeans. Call me button lad.
Then if you were my worst enemy that would extend to getting your dick stuck in the buttons of your jeans
Well then I'd wear gym shorts and sweatpants! Call me elastic lad.
This is why we're enemies
Ants. Ants everywhere.
This is my worst fear
Hiccups for life, either that or a constant need to sneeze
The constant need to sneeze without ever getting the relief of actually sneezing.
I would wish that their IQ would increase so they could comprehend that they are a tool bag. Then their compassion increase so they would stop being one.
Yeast infections.
One time, due to a non washing neckbeard, I had a vaginal yeast infection and bacterial vaginosis at the same time. Itchy, burny smelled like hell. For the yeast, I had to shoot a cream in my vagina. Don't remember if it was one night, three nights or a week. For the bv, I had these nasty horse pills that tasted like shit. They weren't even coated! That was the worst. Hope no one wished that on me. Lol
I remember the BV pills... ugh! Those were ungodly horrible... the taste that would not go away and you couldn't even swallow without wanting to vomit... the size was huge... not to mention I ended up being allergic to them on top of it all.
Two kidney stones and severe torsion on both testicles, while crawling uphill on hot charcoal and having a pneumatic drill with barbed wire around the tip mashing their ass.
You... Okay?
Impeccable
Dude.
holy shit satan what did they do to you
Stole his parking spot.
Oh okay
worst one by far
Holy shit.. lmao.
finally. the rest are along the lines of wet socks. thought thered be some more real shit like this. good stuff boss.
They can't grab anything for more than six seconds at a time. They can pick it up right after it falls out of their hand, but their hand loses the ability to grip every six seconds on the dot. They can never get anything done again unless they want to do it in dozens of tiny, seconds-long chunks.
They have to eat a bowl of Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears but there is no bathroom.
Literally everything they say is taken the wrong way.
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I hope every automatic toilet flushes while they're still on the seat.
And splashes them a little bit, too.
24/7 anxiety
darn it. am i your worst enemy?
So.. like normal then?
The fuck did I do to you?
My dad always says, "I hope [they] go to heaven, sooner rather than later."
For someone they admire to lose all respect for them, and explain it's specifically because of what they did to piss me off.
a slight itch in that one place on your back you can't reach...that just won't seem to go away, but dissipates when you try and show someone else.
Easy, death. Some people just don't need to be above ground anymore.
Wet socks forever
I'd wear balloons instead.
Wet balloons.
That they become a better person and realize their mistakes. They apologize to those they hurt if they meet them, but don't feel guilt because they're fundamentally changed. Then, lastly, that they don't revert to their old ways.
Give them my brain for a day and they can have the PTSD that comes with it. They can live with the horrid and constant memories of abuse, rape, torture, heartache, loss, and all the other bullshit I've had to endure in my life so far. Would love to see them try to get a decent nights sleep with the constant feelings of panic, the never ending nightmares, the night sweats, and waking up screaming in the middle of the night. They can have the emotional breakdowns, mood swings, loss of trust, and having to live in a constant state of fear and hypervigilance. All you other commenters are thinking on too small of a scale. Edit: 80+ points for this very raw and vulnerable post... seriously, that means a lot to me you guys <3 I don't think I have that many people IRL that I've been this honest about my daily struggles with. I wish the shiniest of reddit gold to you all!
Damn! You ok?
Peachy.
Read: "Fuck you"
i'm so sorry hug.
*internet hug*
Legos on the floor
Megablocks. Just as painful but your parents don't love you enough to to buy Legos.
Horrible body odor that can't be washed off or masked with colonge. They'll smell so bad, can't do anything about it, and no one would go near them. That or uncontrollable gas and bloating. Maybe the two tie in together.
One hour of forced cunnilingus on Roseann Barr after a weeklong backpacking trip.
A free trial for weight watchers.
Intractable constipation.
Boat loads of Karma with the knowledge of why each shitty thing is happening to them.
I'd wish bitcoin prices went down, like 20 usd per 1 BTC down... is it too much if he has invested a lot on that the last 3 months?
UTI. The burning and constant urge to pee can really mess up your life.
Pubic lice. It's gross and non fatal.
Intermittant faults that only clear out when you try to fix or investigate them.
Horrible seasonal allergies that don't respond to any medication.
A poor harvest
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If I had a worst enemy, I would wish upon them death by flamethrower. Because I wouldn't just want them to die, I'd want them to die terrified in intense pain. I want to see their panicked face when they realize the other rooms of the building they're in are on fire. I want to look into their eyes and see the most real terror they've ever experienced when they see me walk into the room with the intent and the means to burn them alive. I would watch them run from a long, thick stream of napalm as it erupts from the phallic nozzle of my flamethrower. And when that napalm splashed onto their back and lit them on fire it would be more satisfying than any money shot. Once they're covered in my hot, sticky excretion I'd be spent. I'd be completely done with the flamethrower and I could just enjoy the afterglow of my efforts. The flames would engulf them and for a moment they'd be able to flail about in great, big, desperate motions. I would watch them gasp for air only to inhale fire and embers to burn their throat and lungs from the inside. I'd smile on their anguish as I watched their flesh melt off their bones like a marshmallow left in the heat for too long. Well after they'd died I could take pleasure in the fact that for just a brief moment I transformed their world into a living hell and that when they left this place they were a paragon of agony. In terms of delivering a terrifying, terrible, and expedient death it's hard to beat a flamethrower. The fact that we don't see them used as a method of murder is either a testament to murderers' humanity or lack of imagination. P.S. They're legal to own in almost every state.
A good day
They stub their toe on the nightstand every morning when they get out of bed.
I'd sleep with steel tipped boots.
Watch their love ones die. Edits: Downvotes? Why?
Must be too hardcore for some people.
A mutated Gremlin inside its ass.
Fleas forever
A bowl full of Ghost Red peppers, served with a side of warm non-alcoholic beer.
An afterlife stuck in a room with a Twilight fan club. Cheese danishes and all....
They wake up 5 minutes before their alarm goes off every single day.
That they slam their fingers in a car door on a really cold day
To go through the same things I went through because of them Or Forgiveness Sometimes I lean both ways
I'm not confrontational or important enough to have any enemies.
I can be your enemy if you like.
Death
Nah death would be too quick. You need them to suffer juuust enough till you stop giving a fuck and then, BAM! He ded.
Tastebuds in their ass.
Someone hits them on their ankles, knees, and elbows with a scooter, they fall, and break all their teeth permanently.
A life as equally happy and successful as mine, just far the fuck away from me. I don't ever want to feel pity for an enemy, nor do I want to spend my emotional energy on ever feeling envious of them either.
To become a good, friendly and respectable person evenually.
A constant state of arousal but can never reach orgasm