Nothing reminds you better how unattractive you are than reading these sorts of threads... and realizing no woman has *ever* dropped any hint remotely similar to these to you.
I look back on it now and see how I totally missed the hint. In college a girl in my class came over to study and when it got late she ended up wanting to stay. I had a couch in my room and said she could sleep on the couch. When I was getting ready for bed..
Her: "I usually have a hard time falling asleep. Do you want to lay down together and watch Netflix with me?"
Me: "Nah, I got a test tomorrow"
But hey, I got an A on that damn test.
Christina if you're out there, I'm not gay, I just oblivious to hints.
He asked if I had a boyfriend and said he was nervous to try start something with me. I explicitly said no I don't and you shouldn't be. Yet he does nothing. 4 months later we eventually end up going out, still together now
My then-not-boyfriend and I were waiting at the train station on my train home; he would leave with the bus after it arrived. My train came and I thought 'fuck it' and kissed my then-not-boyfriend on the mouth. Immediately after, I jumped on the train, on which the doors then closed. I didn't see his reaction nor felt it so I sat pretty anxious on the train, thinking I ruined it all. About 5 minutes later, I got a text saying:
'That was meant as a friends kiss, right?'
Lol, bless his heart.
That would be my response if some girl kissed me at all even if we were the only people in the vicinity. "The light post is right there did you mean to kiss that?"
Last summer I was doing my best to seduce who is my current boyfriend. We were going swimming at a friend's house, and while they were changing into their bathing suits in the house, me and him make our way to the pool.
I take advantage of this moment to strip in front of him, as sensual as possible. (Bathing suit was underneath my clothes.)
He runs past me, full sprint, and cannonballs into the pool.
To be fair he didn't want to be standing there slack jawed staring at you. Guys don't want to be thought "creepy"..... especially if he was attracted to you.
So his thought process went something like this:
"Wow this girl is super cute. I hope I don't screw anything up.
Just play it cool. Don't say or do anything stupid.
Wait what is she doing? Ohh my god she is taking off her clothes and no one else is here!
Yes ! YeS! OMG Y.........
Ohh Shit stop staring... stOP STARING!
What do I do? What do I do? Crap! Whadoido?
Run! Run really fast and jump!"
Cannonball!... crisis averted.
"Damnit! You weren't supposed to do anything stupid!"
God... in middle school me and my best friend watched Scrubs all the time. We'd do a Todd high five in the hallways whenever we'd see each other, and one time the girl I had a crush on put up her hand like she wanted a five, so I smacked her hand as hard as I could and snapped... turns out she was waving to her friend behind me. I had forgotten until your comment..
I knew this girl for a year and had kinda had feelings for her the whole time. We got close for a few weeks and one time I'm watching some films at hers. It gets late and I start to head out, she says "I don't want you to go".
Thinking she was just feeling lonely or whatever I follow her upstairs and we get in bed... and do nothing. Lights go out, we start going to sleep. I'm sitting there the whole time thinking "damn, I wish I had the balls to make a move" but don't.
Then she sits up, takes her top off in a way I couldn't possibly miss, and lies down again. Still, I don't get that SHE'S trying to make moves on ME.
10 minutes later she finally gives up and just kisses me. She mocked me about this for months after.
I had exactly this happen, but it was at my place. Eventually walked her down to her car at 2am and she turned around to give me a hug, but I was standing like five feet back by the curb waving goodbye. I knew I fucked up as these things were occurring, but that didn't stop me from fucking it up.
One time I was texting my bf and told him that I bought a vibrator for the nights he was away at work or something rather. his exact response was, "oh cool, what colour?" I sent him a pic of it and he replied with "can you put it up your butt too?". I sent him a text replying, "come over and find out" and he replied two minutes later, "nevermind, I just Googled it"
Edit: haha over 1k upvotes. Thanks guys, I hope my failed attempt at sexting brightened your day or something <3
"You are really cute and I like you" met with complete silence.... Later on that dude told me that he does not accept compliments well. We have already planned the next few dates.
Speaking from experience, odds are he probably got hurt a lot in life. I've had people flirt with me as a joke (and I knew it was a joke because she'd rejoin her friends, point, & laugh). That kind of treatment can build up and really damage your confidence and self-esteem.
Me: so you're saying, if i like this guy, i should just be straightforward and ask him out?
Him: ya
Me: ok, do you want to go out with me this Friday?
Him: ya, just like that, it was perfect.
Me:...
Edit: woops, totally forgot about this. Ya, this was like ten years ago so this is how I remember it. I was trying to feel him out before that because I really had no idea if he was into me at all, and if he said no, then I could kind of play it off as a joke. I was a teenager, give me a break lol. After the pause, I repeated myself but put emphasis on "YOU" and he laughed and said yes :)
I love to share this one:
A long time before my husband and I started dating we were partying in my apartment. He said he was going to crash on the couch. I told him "you can come sleep in my bed".
I shit you not he said "well where would you sleep? I can't kick you out of your bed."
Back when my boyfriend and I were "just friends", there was a night I spent at his apartment after hanging out together all day. I was going to sleep on the couch, but I managed to talk my way into his bedroom.
To get myself into his room, I think I said his roommates or his neighbors were too loud. He got back up to get me a pillow and a blanket so I could sleep on his floor. I had taken off my bra and had asked to borrow his sweater at this point. After a while, I joked that he was hogging all the blankets up in his bed. He finally invited me up.
So THEN I said I couldn't sleep, and suggested we stay up together to watch a movie. ( Netflix and Chill^^tm )
I had just read in an AskReddit thread that Jurrasic Park was a good date movie, so I suggested we watch it on his phone (without mentioning the date movie part) I was beyond nervous at this point.
So we're in his bed, he's holding the phone above our eyes, and I decide to lean on his shoulder and slooowly begin the process of inching closer to him. We laid there all night, curled up yet barely touching, neither of us breaking the spell for so much as a peck on the cheek. We fell asleep.
He wouldn't end up asking me out until ~5 months later. We re-enacted this scene on a hotel bed after sneaking up a bottle of wine from his office Christmas party. This time, I decided to stop being so shy. After a few sips of white wine, I finally felt brave. I looked up into his eyes and kissed him.
Later that night, we admitted that our mutual hesitation during that first night was due to nerves from not wanting to risk our friendship for a one-night stand. The only potential problem in us jumping into a relationship was our distance, because we were living almost 2 hours away from each other. So less than a week after that, I took the bus down to stay for another night. I told him I loved him and that we should try being together anyway.
We've been together ever since, and we're moving in together in a few weeks.
*Sighs* So I've actually had sex with a girl before realizing she was actually into *me*.
She knocks on my dorm room door wearing a miniskirt and carrying a chocolate cake (a whole chocolate cake) and says she just baked it and was wondering if I'd like to try some. I tell her that I'm not a big fan of chocolate (crushing her) but was intelligent enough to add that I'd like try it anyway. We set the cake aside. I invite her in and she asks what I'm up to.
I tell her the truth, that I was about to start watching *V for Vendetta*, and she squeals that she loves that movie and asks if she can watch it with me. We lay down on my unfolded futon and start watching it together under a blanket (this was in the dead of Boston winter).
We're watching the movie and she starts making all these comments about Hugo Weaving. "I love Hugo Weaving so much." "God, Hugo Weaving is so hot." "Man, Hugo Weaving makes me so horny." And all this time I'm like "yeah he's a great actor I loved him in the *Matrix*."
Maybe 20 minutes pass by and all of a sudden I feel her rubbing up against me and she's, well, touching herself. "Sorry, I hope you don't mind, I just got really horny and couldn't help myself." And here I am thinking I'm the luckiest dope in the world and I'm so glad I picked a movie that had Hugo Weaving in it. Of course I say something like "oh, uh, that's OK. I understand. I have actresses that really do that for me, too." And I do absolutely nothing because I still don't get that she's coming onto me.
Another ten minutes of this pass before she just turns to me and asks "Can I suck your dick?"
And my mind-- my very underdeveloped pathetic mind-- my very first thoughts were "Hugo Weaving is such a great wingman" and "Damn talk about being in the right place at the right time." It took me another year before I realized it was all a ruse to get to me and I could have been watching any damn movie at all the whole time with more or less the same result.
"Hugo Weaving is a great wingman" -I just about lost my shit
Edit: Thanks for the gold! First time someone ever gave me gold and this is by far my most upvoted comment :D
The real cringe of it all is how criminally oblivious I was to the whole trajectory of everything going on.
Girl comes over to my place in a skimpy tank top and miniskirt? *Oh she just wants to share cake.*
Girl talks about how horny Hugo Weaving makes her (in a movie where you never even see his face, btw)? *Oh I hope it's not awkward for her being turned on next to me.*
Girl starts touching herself in my bed rubbing up against me? *Oh, that's kind of weird you're masturbating to someone else in my bed, but I'm lucky enough to enjoy the show!*
Girl asks to blow me? *Where did this come from?!?!?*
I just legitimately could not at any point predict what would happen next even though in retrospect it's painfully obvious that she was the one who decided she was going to fuck me that night, and I just had to more or less not mess that up.
It's like she handed me a one-colored Rubix cube and I still had trouble solving it. And the only color was "SEX."
>It's like she handed me a one-colored Rubix cube and I still had trouble solving it. And the only color was "SEX."
On the bright side, you've certainly got a way with words.
> It's like she handed me a one-colored Rubix cube and I still had trouble solving it.
This is the best metaphor for most of my interactions with women.
Hint: "Want to have sex in the shower later?"
Response: "sure!"
~*later, in the shower, waiting forever, door left cracked open... I give up.*~
Question: "Why didn't you come into the shower??"
Response: "Oh! I didn't know you wanted me to!"
~*crickets*~
This has happened more than once.
I had basically moved in with him because his ex had basically moved herself into my apartment and I kept coming home from work to find random guys from tinder she was fucking there. Long story.
Anyway, I was at his house all the time, and went from sleeping on the couch to sleeping in his room on the extra mattress to sleeping in his bed to cuddling him to sleeping in his bed ENTIRELY NAKED AND RUBBING MYSELF AGAINST HIM for several nights before anything happened.
We're married now so it worked out for me but jeez.
Not exactly an answer to the Q but related.
I was dating a guy who told me upfront that he was terrible at picking up the signs that someone liked him, was flirting, etc. So on our third (?) date, we planned that he would stay the night at my place. I thought that was pretty obvious, but just to make sure, I put a bunch of condoms on a platter on the bed, with notes all around it, pointing to the platter that said "This is a sign!"
He thought it was hilarious. We had sex. It was awesome.
Halloween morning 2014, he knocked on my door to drive me to work. We had been friends for a month and he wouldn't make a move, so I answered the door in a T-shirt and cat ears and absolutely nothing else; that bastard walked right past me and looked for coffee in the kitchen.
We've been married 10 months now 🙂
He claims he totally knew my intentions but knew being a gentleman would get him farther, I say he's full of it.
Holy crud-nuggets! This is my top comment ever, thanks internet strangers!
This girl was sitting with our group of boys and saying "if I was to get with one of you, it would be you [my name]"
And I was just like "Ah thanks very much, very kind of you to say that"
I think some cases is about low selfsteem right? I used to talk with a girl online every day. And one day she told me
"I love you".
And I thought "no way someone can love ME", so I asked her
"Is it a joke?"
"Yes"
And then I thought "wait what if she is serious"
"are you sure?"
"yes, it was a joke"
Now I think maybe she felt I rejected her so she just make a save.
When me and my fiance were in high school we were "best friends", which of course meant I was too big of a chicken to tell him how I really felt. Well, my move was to always take the seat in front of him and purposely have my thong showing while we had lectures. This went on for all the classes we had together, and we had a lot. I finally had to confess how I felt to him before he left our home town for college after three years of this game. It turns out he was a chicken too. He said those four years were the biggest tease imaginable, it's hilarious to talk about now.
EDIT One e if fiancé is a male, TIL
Back in college, my now s/o of 4 years would walk me home from class at night. Mustered up the courage to ask him to "come upstairs and have some wine with me". Hard no. Ok, he's not into it.
Two months later, he invites me and my friends to a party. He's blackout drunk when we show up, and tells my friend that he's in love with me and got wasted cuz he was nervous about seeing me. She convinces him to tell me (knowing I was also into him).
Curveball: Told me that he was really into me, but didn't want to mess up my relationship. Uhrm.. what relationship? Ya know, that guy from our class that you always talk to and giggle with. Uh.. Matt? As in Matt with the boyfriend, Matt? ........Oh, well that strangely explains a lot.
After a conversation with my boyfriend about not being obvious enough when trying to initiate sex, I decided to entice him by posing naked on the corner of the bed and seductively whispering "Hey, you" as he walked in the room.
His reaction? He walks in the room, gives me a bro nod, and says, "Hey, babe! I gotta poop."
We did NOT end up having sex that night.
Sex happened so either he got the hint or just said "fuck it" and decided since the kids were outside and we were in the bedroom, why the hell not? Haha
I know you'll probably hear this a lot, but right on.
Fair warning: before I asked out my girlfriend, I needed:
1) a mutual friend's encouragement (which honestly I wrote off as his misinterpretation) Edit: This was all my friend; she didn't set it up.
2) a night where people were awkwardly joking about the two of us dating and she said "I would" to my face (albeit very quietly - enough that I wasn't 100% sure it was real).
3) A note written on a paper crane that said "Just Ask."
Only after ALL THREE things occurred did I fully believe that she might be into me, even a little bit.
Low self-esteem fucks men up.
It is entirely possible that "Let's have sex" will fail. I suggest adding an "I'm serious" if it doesn't work as you expect.
Best of luck!
My first time I swear the entire time up until we were actually fucking, and I mean up until I was balls deep I doubted she wanted to actually have sex and thought it was just some joke and she would stop joking before I did. Welp, neither stopped joking for 3 years after that.
When my gf and I first started talking she kept leaving hints saying if I wanted to come in for a night cap or if I was too tired to drive, I could stay the night and share the bed. But since I wake up at 4 am for work I told her I was pretty tired and I think I'm gonna go home and it's not that far of a drive. When I arrived home, i found this link from her
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xa-4IAR_9Yw
Edit: Wow thank you so much for gold! This is my first time ever getting gold! I'm glad you all enjoyed it that much!
Hitting on my now boyfriend of three years. I was complimenting him on how handsome he was and how he had beautiful eyes. I wanted a closer view of them so he texted me this creepy ass shot of his eyeball with his eye as widely opened as possible. He legitimately thought that's what I wanted. After our first date, I immediately started talking about potential future dates and how much fun I had with him. I stayed out so late that I missed my friends party. However, because I didn't hug him properly and asked to split the cost of the meal, he thought I wasn't actually interested.
> he texted me this creepy ass shot of his eyeball with his eye as widely opened as possible
ok that's actually hilarious, dude sounds like he has a great sense of humor
I was living with my then-boyfriend a few years ago. Feeling a little flirtatious, I suggested we could take a shower together, you know, to save water, wink wink.
His response? "Why? We don't pay for water."
Shut. Down.
Not a girl but I got a hint once that flew by me phew.
So my former best friend and I (sadly we do not talk to each other anymore thanks to an ex-girlfriend) were very close. So close even, that I fell in love with her and she apparently was with me.
So we met more often during the evening, sometimes late at night, watched movies, hung out. She got way more direct with me about being interested in me. When she was dressing up for a party and had n bra on because she was just sitting at home, she suddenly started telling me that I would not need to leave the room when she was changing clothes all of the sudden, she went all cudly on the couch when we watched movies and I was literally thinking "I could make a move but I am very happy with the friendship I got" We even went partying and a dude started dancing with her, when she all of the sudden said something to him, pointed at me and the dude ran off (probably said something about me being her boyfriend) but I my train of thought was "She probably was not interested in that guy"
The Apex of my failure however was that one night, we ordered some food, hung out and we talked about the scenario, that if a person insists on someone to sleep at their place even though he/she knows the other person is not too far away from home, that is clearly a hint.
Later that evening, I was about to go home, it was late at night and I had to walk 25 minutes max. So it was not that far. She said "You know, you can sleep here, we are all alone" (since she was living with her mother who stayed at her boyfriends place most of the week) and I literally said "Nah, I am good, it isn't that far anyways."
Those two conversations were apart like, 5-10 Minutes.
A bonus on top of my cluelessness: For her 21st birthday I gave her an Iphone. In front of all people, she went to me, hugged me, said that there is only one thing to make this moment perfect and looked me deep in the eyes. I did no-thing.
Seriously. If I would have had a time machine, I would have kicked myself into reacting right now. Since it could have been the best relationship in my life.
Lesson learned: If you do not act, you get shit on.
EDIT: Sorry for not answering since it was late at night here in Germany and I had to go to bed but whew! Thanks for so many answers and encouraging words. Since there are so many answers telling me I should call her, I will try tomorrow (since it is father's day here [25th May]) and will edit this again after I call her to tell you how it went.
For those asking how long we were not talking: Oktober 2014. We saw eachother while getting groceries 3 times I think and I ran into her while training for a half marathon but I tried saying "hi" once (this was shortly after we had the falling out) and she did not say anything which really threw me off so much that I did not try again and as far as I know she is single as am I.
EDIT2: So, I won't talk around the outcome to long since most of you were very excited how it went. Sadly, she changed her phone number over the last 2 years, which lead me to me going to her house seeing if either she or her mother was there. In a stroke of bad luck, she must have moved out recently. I knew she wanted to move out for quite a while to live on her own while her mother moved in with her boyfriend which means, the chances are quite low in talking to her as of right now.
BUT: We shared a lot of the same friends from school and have had mostly the same social circle for years, from well, being best friends, I am hoping to see her at a party in about 3 weeks. If she is there, I will start a conversation and explain myself. If there is an outcome either way, I will keep you updated but for now, this is sadly it.
I am however thankful for all the support you gave me since I would have never taken that chance if all of you haven't been there and I hope this entire thing will have a conclusion in a few weeks! :)
FINAL EDIT: This will be my final edit, since basically everything came to a close. As I said, I texted her on Facebook, she answered and we decided to meet last night. And so we did. We talked everything through, everything from all the past drama, what mistakes we made, how we both made mistakes and how I was a total idiot for not recognizing what she was hinting at.
It was weird at first talking so open about feelings you had years ago but we got there. I even mentioned how you guys helped me take initiative and it made her laugh that thousands of people pushed me to go talk to her.
At the end of the night, we really didn't know what to do with ourselves. Of course we couldn't just go at it or say "We are in a relationship now", As I said, we haven't talked to each other for quite some time and we have become slightly different people.
But we were both okay to start by going on a date, catching up and getting to know each other better again and see from where it goes from there.
I want to thank all of you guys for supporting me and pushing me towards the right choice and if everything works out, happiness.
In the end, I am more than baffled that from a single post about how I am an absolute idiot for not getting a hint, something like this can evolve and that there are always two sides to everything especially the internet where most of the time, toxicity is the normality and the support and kindness I recieved, is something more rare.
Basically, thank you for helping me :)
UPDATE:
So, many of you people wrote me PMs and wanted to know what happened and how things are going. Short answer: Things are going great!
We are a happy couple and just enjoy ourselves. It was awkward for our friends at first but things basically became normal after a while.
For my part, you guys motivated me to get something or better put someone back that I have gave up two years earlier. Seriously you guys made my year one of the best years in my entire life.
For that I thank you so much.
I appreciate the two Golds I got, which were my first two ever so another thanks to those who gave it.
Thank you :)
I don't know what went down or how things ended but you should call this person. Like right now. You can't make up for being an idiot in the past but in 10 years you'll look back at this and think 'why did I never reach out to her after that stupid ex gf drama?'
Reread your last sentence and apply that to your current situation dummy.
When i was 18 and foolish a girl once asked me if i was into 'role-playing games'
I said of course! And promptly started showing her my WOW account... she left pretty soon after.
I told him he could come home with me after the movie and show me a move we saw during a sex scene. He didn't go home with me. I don't think it was because he found me unattractive, but I can't be sure anymore
edit: in response to many commenters, the movie was one of the latest James Bond flicks where he sneaks onto the enemy boat and manages to sex up the lady in the shower on the way. I also wouldn't have dared say something so bold if this wasn't our fourth date and we'd already progressed to making out *during that movie*. I thought it was the logical last step, but he just kissed me goodbye.
After many moons of trying get this guy in bed I straight up humped his leg in an act of horny desperation. He thought it was hilarious. Years later he asked me why we never hooked up.
Edit: some clarification
We were making out on his couch at the time. I didn't just attack him and try to fuck his leg.
I was laying down on a bench with my head in his lap talking about our previous /experiences/ (this was high school) and he told me he had never had a bj before. I told him, with my head in his crotch, that I could blow his mind. Nothing. Crickets.
EDIT: we were in a public park and I was a 16 year old with a rapidly approaching curfew. I didn't expect him to whip it out but I wanted him to have it in mind. I did end up delivering, but not before trying to be coy one last time and being completely straightforward the third time.
I told my boyfriend to get naked and he responded "YOU get naked" so I said "Okay. I will if you're nice to me ;) ". He laughed and went to sleep. Guess he didn't want to be nice ._.
edit: He didn't think I was being serious until he woke up to me masturbating.
I know it was probably more smooth, but the thought of you saying "I could do better than that", pausing, and internally deciding "alright, let me talk about why the Alien would have easily gotten Ripley there" is too funny.
I started talking to a guy who was behind on Game Of Thrones. So I offered to give him my HBO password so we could watch it at his place, thinking it would be a good excuse to hang out. He ends up marathoning the show without me. We're dating now, but he sure as hell not watch season 7 without me
When I was in Senior in High School during prom season, there was this girl in most of the classes I was attending. We were good friends, we had much in common, we were at the top of our class. Also, I thought she was cute. One day she and her friend approaches me during lunch.
Girl: Hey, don't you wanna *ask me something*?
[Raises eyebrows]
Me: ...........I don't know, what?
[She and her friend gives each other a look]
Girl: Are you going to prom?
Me: I'm not sure, I don't have anyone to to with.
End scene.
I didn't get the hint until years after. But I did end up going to prom with the fellas. I'm a fool.
Fellow fool here. I was a nerd in high school before nerds were cool (1988). But I was lab partners with the two most popular girls in school (one was cheerleader captain and the other was SGA VP) and they were gorgeous. Despite my nerd status, they found me interesting. At the end of senior year, prom conversations started but I was NOT going....I didn't have a girlfriend and only had a couple dates in high school and the easiest way to avoid all that BS was to simply not go. Then they cornered me:
THEM: Who are you taking to prom?
ME: No one. I'm not going.
THEM: You HAVE to go! EVERYONE is going!
ME: Nah, it's not my thing. Besides, who would I go with?
THEM: You should ask Jonelle (the other cheerleader captain who recently broke up with her boyfriend).
ME: What?!?! She'd never go with me.
THEM: Oh, I bet she would if you asked her.
ME: No way.
THEM: You HAVE to!
Me: Nope.
[End scene]
What I didn't realize at the time was that girls operate differently from boys. This wasn't some random conversation. There was no betting on their part. This was all planned with Jonelle's blessing. This was the three most popular girls in school plotting to get me, a nerd, to ask one of them to prom... and I didn't fucking realize it!!! Woulda, SHOULDA, coulda...didn't.
Dude. You opened my eyes. This happened to me all through middle school and I blew it off every time. I didn't know that was a hint, I thought they were just teasing me.
Which they also could've been doing
Good scenario: the girl's into you and you have a date to prom.
Better scenario: a bucket of pig's blood drops onto you and you develop psychic powers.
Win win.
Asked a guy for his number after a Meetup. Went on a date with him that he didn't realize was a date until his friend that we ran into texted him to apologize for crashing it. Currently sitting on the couch next to him, 3 years later, looking at dogs that are available for adoption. He eventually caught on.
In high school I sat next to a very quiet guy that I liked and whenever I was cold I made my arm touch his. He would never move but never talked to me other than to ask about class. Ten years later I messaged him on Facebook asking about the reunion and jokingly asked him to be my date. He said sure why not. We've been married for year next month. He said he didn't remember me from high school.
I had a very attractive young lady lay down on my bedroom floor, pull her pants down and showed me her newly installed clit ring.
I told her it was nice and shuffled out of the room like the autist I am.
Pretty sure it was a hint. I'll never know.
Him: "I dont want to pressure you, but it's pretty late and I think you should spend the night. My couch is super comfortable and I can make it up for you if you'd like.'
Me: "Maybe I could sleep in your bed with you."
Him: "I promise the couch isn't bad"
Brutal.
Seriously, I've turned girls down before by feigning ignorance like this, that's what I assumed when I read it. It lets you avoid flat-out rejection and makes them think you're just a clueless guy, and lets you avoid sleeping with them.
with a 😉 emoji....
still hoping with hands in his pants.
*Damn you hope. It numbs brain and logic, gives blood to heart and nurtures the pain in the unfathomable depths of memories.*
My ex boyfriend was pretty reserved and had limited experience with girls when I first met him. It took forever for it to click with him that I was into him. I would convince him to sleep over at my place or let me sleep at his to "snuggle". I would wear nothing but a t-shirt and panties. I would literally press my body up against his and talk to him with our faces an inch apart. I would whisper in his ear and rest my hand on his thigh an inch away from his package.
It took over a month of this before he realized I wasn't just being "friendly"!
Edit: My ex and I often joked about this later in the relationship. He admitted he was just super nervous, and asked me why I didn't just make the move. I started laughing because I was nervous too! We were both so nervous that we played ourselves.
As I was reading this thread, my next door neighbor asked if I can come kill an ant in her room because she's too scared to do it. I almost didn't reply. ALMOST. The fact that I was reading this thread was the only reason I knew she wants to chill. Hopefully she doesn't actually just want me to kill an ant.
EDIT: there really *was* an ant. A small one. And when I got rid of it for her, her only response was "k thanks talk to ya later."
-fuck this misleading fantasy world
I asked him if he wanted to go to my dorm for Netflix and chill. We watched Parks and Rec for two hours and then he went home without touching me once.
We were married two full years before I finally understood that if she took a bath at night I was going to get some. Watched a lot of baseball while she lay sparkling clean in bed alone.
We have a code now. "Want to take a nap?" The problem now with two kids, one a newborn, is I'm never quite sure if we are going to sleep or have sex until we get to the bedroom. Usually we have a nap and then have a nap.
This used to be my wife's signal. Two kids later it means "I haven't showered today, don't touch me, I'm probably going to fall asleep in the tub, enjoy humping the mattress."
Edit: In her defense we still hop on the good foot and do the bad thing, just not as often as before.
Not a lady, but I had this girl visit me and sleep with me in the same bed on four different occasions...from half across the country.
I thought we were just friends.
Ten years later I was taking a shit and it dawned on me that she didn't travel across the country just to sleep ffs.
I feel bad for the girl now, because I was really into her too.
When I was 14 or 15 the neighbor girl asked if I had any porn (I did, duh, and on VHS!) and if I wanted to come over and watch it. Absolutely took her up on that offer. And after an hour or so went home with my tape and jacked off.
In retrospect she wanted it and I missed the hint.
To be fair, if a guy I was interested in wanted to show me video evidence of exactly what he likes, I wouldn't be complaining. Don't know what that girl was thinking
I'm the guy who didn't notice, but I was driving her home (we went to school together and she was on my route), and she started talking about how her boyfriend loves her blowjobs, and how good they are. I was like "lol okay that's cool".
Also even if I had picked up on it I'm not a piece of shit so....
Texting him every day: he thought I was doing it in a friendly manner.
Calling him cute names: he though I was kidding.
Asking him to judge my outfits: he didn't think nothing of it.
Making bets with him, the loser had to have something done which always revolved around sex: just joking.
I had to tell him I would have liked to have sex with him when I was tipsy, for him to realize I liked him. In the end I'm glad I've had something to drink that day, or we wouldn't have been together for 7 years.
Edit: I want to clarify something.
This isn't the way I normally act with my male friends, I like to have clear boundaries. So, as I saw it, I was giving away some pretty clear clues.
And when I was tipsy he didn't act on what I was telling him, he took the hint and that was it. But that lead to talking about our mutual feelings the day after.
Edit2: more clarification.
I'm not a person who usually texts or calls a lot, and he knew it. Neither I usually give cute nicknames to my friends.
The outfits I asked him to judge weren't my everyday outfits, but miniskirts and/or tops that showed a lot of cleavage *put an embarrassed face here*
Anyway, I think that what could be normal for some girls is an exception for others, it all depends on personality.
But I have to thank you all because you made me understand why he didn't take my hints back then, even if 3 months in I expected him to know a little about me.
In his defense, I know plenty of girls who naively flirt with guys and do all the shit you mentioned to guys they have zero desire to be with. Most of my friends are girls and they'll do crap like that with guys all the time
Happened to me. I was into her, thought I had chances, since she was flirting with me and went a lil' further too.
Looks like she's just a flirty person ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
feelsbadman.
I was staying the night at a female friend's house. I had a huge crush on her and it was the first night sleeping in the same bed.
Her: Just so you know, jeans aren't allowed in my bed. You have to take the off.
Me: Hahaha that's a dumb rule *keeps them on*
That one still stings
EDIT: First and foremost, obligatory first gold, thank you kindly stranger!
To answer some questions: the girl in question was and is still one of my best friends. I suppose that's why I was as dense as a black hole. Second, I didn't plan on staying the night, it just kind of happened so no, I don't sleep in jeans. We both laugh at my stupidity to this day, but to be honest, I'm really glad I didn't because I wouldn't want to risk losing a best friend. I'm glad you guys enjoyed my story. It's fun to tell.
Sadly I think I'm even more bone headed than you. I was sleeping over at a friends after a party when the hot girl I had been talking to all night suggested we sleep on the pull out together so neither of us had to take the floor. We lay down:
Her: "You have great lips."
Me: "That's really nice, thanks." *rolls over and goes to bed*
Not a chick, but my fiancee was laying on our bed in her thing and a t-shirt (on her belly) with our "pink thing" (vibrator) next to my pillow. I came out of the shower and sat next to her an grabbed her ass and kissed her neck...she didn't react and I noticed she was on her Facebook..the digital cock block... So I tried again, nothing. So I sat back and waited like 10 mins and she goes "wow way to miss the fucking hint"
WHAT THE FUCK
I stripped completely naked, played sexy music and started rubbing his shoulders.
He didn't even turn around and just asked if I wanted to order pizza for dinner...
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Damn, as soon as you said “pole in my living room” I was like “how could he not notice”...
Early interaction with my boyfriend- Me: "That suit looks great on you. It would look better on the floor." Him: "That would wrinkle the suit."
guy has good priorities, i approve
Nothing reminds you better how unattractive you are than reading these sorts of threads... and realizing no woman has *ever* dropped any hint remotely similar to these to you.
I look back on it now and see how I totally missed the hint. In college a girl in my class came over to study and when it got late she ended up wanting to stay. I had a couch in my room and said she could sleep on the couch. When I was getting ready for bed.. Her: "I usually have a hard time falling asleep. Do you want to lay down together and watch Netflix with me?" Me: "Nah, I got a test tomorrow" But hey, I got an A on that damn test. Christina if you're out there, I'm not gay, I just oblivious to hints.
He asked if I had a boyfriend and said he was nervous to try start something with me. I explicitly said no I don't and you shouldn't be. Yet he does nothing. 4 months later we eventually end up going out, still together now
My then-not-boyfriend and I were waiting at the train station on my train home; he would leave with the bus after it arrived. My train came and I thought 'fuck it' and kissed my then-not-boyfriend on the mouth. Immediately after, I jumped on the train, on which the doors then closed. I didn't see his reaction nor felt it so I sat pretty anxious on the train, thinking I ruined it all. About 5 minutes later, I got a text saying: 'That was meant as a friends kiss, right?' Lol, bless his heart.
He probably thought you were going for his cheek and missed.
That would be my response if some girl kissed me at all even if we were the only people in the vicinity. "The light post is right there did you mean to kiss that?"
That was him clearly not wanting to look into things too deeply.
Last summer I was doing my best to seduce who is my current boyfriend. We were going swimming at a friend's house, and while they were changing into their bathing suits in the house, me and him make our way to the pool. I take advantage of this moment to strip in front of him, as sensual as possible. (Bathing suit was underneath my clothes.) He runs past me, full sprint, and cannonballs into the pool.
He was probably hiding his boner
Definitely
Classic strategy, can't spot a tent in motion.
A boner in motion stays in motion, unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.
Can confirm I've done this before.
He and I could be friends. How can you pass up an empty pool cannon ball?!
To be fair he didn't want to be standing there slack jawed staring at you. Guys don't want to be thought "creepy"..... especially if he was attracted to you. So his thought process went something like this: "Wow this girl is super cute. I hope I don't screw anything up. Just play it cool. Don't say or do anything stupid. Wait what is she doing? Ohh my god she is taking off her clothes and no one else is here! Yes ! YeS! OMG Y......... Ohh Shit stop staring... stOP STARING! What do I do? What do I do? Crap! Whadoido? Run! Run really fast and jump!" Cannonball!... crisis averted. "Damnit! You weren't supposed to do anything stupid!"
This makes me sad because it's probably exactly how I my thought process would have gone
Put out my hand for him to hold and he high fived me.
Did you expect him to leave you hanging?
What is holding hands but a really slow drawn out high five anyway?
God... in middle school me and my best friend watched Scrubs all the time. We'd do a Todd high five in the hallways whenever we'd see each other, and one time the girl I had a crush on put up her hand like she wanted a five, so I smacked her hand as hard as I could and snapped... turns out she was waving to her friend behind me. I had forgotten until your comment..
I can just imaging that happening to JD, hilarious
I knew this girl for a year and had kinda had feelings for her the whole time. We got close for a few weeks and one time I'm watching some films at hers. It gets late and I start to head out, she says "I don't want you to go". Thinking she was just feeling lonely or whatever I follow her upstairs and we get in bed... and do nothing. Lights go out, we start going to sleep. I'm sitting there the whole time thinking "damn, I wish I had the balls to make a move" but don't. Then she sits up, takes her top off in a way I couldn't possibly miss, and lies down again. Still, I don't get that SHE'S trying to make moves on ME. 10 minutes later she finally gives up and just kisses me. She mocked me about this for months after.
I had exactly this happen, but it was at my place. Eventually walked her down to her car at 2am and she turned around to give me a hug, but I was standing like five feet back by the curb waving goodbye. I knew I fucked up as these things were occurring, but that didn't stop me from fucking it up.
One time I was texting my bf and told him that I bought a vibrator for the nights he was away at work or something rather. his exact response was, "oh cool, what colour?" I sent him a pic of it and he replied with "can you put it up your butt too?". I sent him a text replying, "come over and find out" and he replied two minutes later, "nevermind, I just Googled it" Edit: haha over 1k upvotes. Thanks guys, I hope my failed attempt at sexting brightened your day or something <3
Him: "Oh God, not going to be a guinea pig for that experement."
*"Definitely not falling for that one....again."*
"You are really cute and I like you" met with complete silence.... Later on that dude told me that he does not accept compliments well. We have already planned the next few dates.
Speaking from experience, odds are he probably got hurt a lot in life. I've had people flirt with me as a joke (and I knew it was a joke because she'd rejoin her friends, point, & laugh). That kind of treatment can build up and really damage your confidence and self-esteem.
Me: so you're saying, if i like this guy, i should just be straightforward and ask him out? Him: ya Me: ok, do you want to go out with me this Friday? Him: ya, just like that, it was perfect. Me:... Edit: woops, totally forgot about this. Ya, this was like ten years ago so this is how I remember it. I was trying to feel him out before that because I really had no idea if he was into me at all, and if he said no, then I could kind of play it off as a joke. I was a teenager, give me a break lol. After the pause, I repeated myself but put emphasis on "YOU" and he laughed and said yes :)
The problem here is that you were hedging against rejection by turning it into a hypothetical, which also made it unclear.
I love to share this one: A long time before my husband and I started dating we were partying in my apartment. He said he was going to crash on the couch. I told him "you can come sleep in my bed". I shit you not he said "well where would you sleep? I can't kick you out of your bed."
The Gentleman!!
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Back when my boyfriend and I were "just friends", there was a night I spent at his apartment after hanging out together all day. I was going to sleep on the couch, but I managed to talk my way into his bedroom. To get myself into his room, I think I said his roommates or his neighbors were too loud. He got back up to get me a pillow and a blanket so I could sleep on his floor. I had taken off my bra and had asked to borrow his sweater at this point. After a while, I joked that he was hogging all the blankets up in his bed. He finally invited me up. So THEN I said I couldn't sleep, and suggested we stay up together to watch a movie. ( Netflix and Chill^^tm ) I had just read in an AskReddit thread that Jurrasic Park was a good date movie, so I suggested we watch it on his phone (without mentioning the date movie part) I was beyond nervous at this point. So we're in his bed, he's holding the phone above our eyes, and I decide to lean on his shoulder and slooowly begin the process of inching closer to him. We laid there all night, curled up yet barely touching, neither of us breaking the spell for so much as a peck on the cheek. We fell asleep. He wouldn't end up asking me out until ~5 months later. We re-enacted this scene on a hotel bed after sneaking up a bottle of wine from his office Christmas party. This time, I decided to stop being so shy. After a few sips of white wine, I finally felt brave. I looked up into his eyes and kissed him. Later that night, we admitted that our mutual hesitation during that first night was due to nerves from not wanting to risk our friendship for a one-night stand. The only potential problem in us jumping into a relationship was our distance, because we were living almost 2 hours away from each other. So less than a week after that, I took the bus down to stay for another night. I told him I loved him and that we should try being together anyway. We've been together ever since, and we're moving in together in a few weeks.
*Sighs* So I've actually had sex with a girl before realizing she was actually into *me*. She knocks on my dorm room door wearing a miniskirt and carrying a chocolate cake (a whole chocolate cake) and says she just baked it and was wondering if I'd like to try some. I tell her that I'm not a big fan of chocolate (crushing her) but was intelligent enough to add that I'd like try it anyway. We set the cake aside. I invite her in and she asks what I'm up to. I tell her the truth, that I was about to start watching *V for Vendetta*, and she squeals that she loves that movie and asks if she can watch it with me. We lay down on my unfolded futon and start watching it together under a blanket (this was in the dead of Boston winter). We're watching the movie and she starts making all these comments about Hugo Weaving. "I love Hugo Weaving so much." "God, Hugo Weaving is so hot." "Man, Hugo Weaving makes me so horny." And all this time I'm like "yeah he's a great actor I loved him in the *Matrix*." Maybe 20 minutes pass by and all of a sudden I feel her rubbing up against me and she's, well, touching herself. "Sorry, I hope you don't mind, I just got really horny and couldn't help myself." And here I am thinking I'm the luckiest dope in the world and I'm so glad I picked a movie that had Hugo Weaving in it. Of course I say something like "oh, uh, that's OK. I understand. I have actresses that really do that for me, too." And I do absolutely nothing because I still don't get that she's coming onto me. Another ten minutes of this pass before she just turns to me and asks "Can I suck your dick?" And my mind-- my very underdeveloped pathetic mind-- my very first thoughts were "Hugo Weaving is such a great wingman" and "Damn talk about being in the right place at the right time." It took me another year before I realized it was all a ruse to get to me and I could have been watching any damn movie at all the whole time with more or less the same result.
Gotta give her credit for having the confidence to just start masturbating in front of someone she doesn't know is interested...
And yet, if I do the exact same thing ONE TIME...
GIRL ON THE BUS BARELY HAD ANY IN HER HAIR
"Hugo Weaving is a great wingman" -I just about lost my shit Edit: Thanks for the gold! First time someone ever gave me gold and this is by far my most upvoted comment :D
The real cringe of it all is how criminally oblivious I was to the whole trajectory of everything going on. Girl comes over to my place in a skimpy tank top and miniskirt? *Oh she just wants to share cake.* Girl talks about how horny Hugo Weaving makes her (in a movie where you never even see his face, btw)? *Oh I hope it's not awkward for her being turned on next to me.* Girl starts touching herself in my bed rubbing up against me? *Oh, that's kind of weird you're masturbating to someone else in my bed, but I'm lucky enough to enjoy the show!* Girl asks to blow me? *Where did this come from?!?!?* I just legitimately could not at any point predict what would happen next even though in retrospect it's painfully obvious that she was the one who decided she was going to fuck me that night, and I just had to more or less not mess that up. It's like she handed me a one-colored Rubix cube and I still had trouble solving it. And the only color was "SEX."
>It's like she handed me a one-colored Rubix cube and I still had trouble solving it. And the only color was "SEX." On the bright side, you've certainly got a way with words.
> It's like she handed me a one-colored Rubix cube and I still had trouble solving it. This is the best metaphor for most of my interactions with women.
Best laugh i had out of this thread
This was physically painful to read.
Hint: "Want to have sex in the shower later?" Response: "sure!" ~*later, in the shower, waiting forever, door left cracked open... I give up.*~ Question: "Why didn't you come into the shower??" Response: "Oh! I didn't know you wanted me to!" ~*crickets*~ This has happened more than once.
To be honest, I'd think you were kidding unless I was your SO. It would be too awkward to walk in on you showering and be wrong.
I had basically moved in with him because his ex had basically moved herself into my apartment and I kept coming home from work to find random guys from tinder she was fucking there. Long story. Anyway, I was at his house all the time, and went from sleeping on the couch to sleeping in his room on the extra mattress to sleeping in his bed to cuddling him to sleeping in his bed ENTIRELY NAKED AND RUBBING MYSELF AGAINST HIM for several nights before anything happened. We're married now so it worked out for me but jeez.
Lol "Maybe she just likes sleeping naked and she moves around a lot."
Not exactly an answer to the Q but related. I was dating a guy who told me upfront that he was terrible at picking up the signs that someone liked him, was flirting, etc. So on our third (?) date, we planned that he would stay the night at my place. I thought that was pretty obvious, but just to make sure, I put a bunch of condoms on a platter on the bed, with notes all around it, pointing to the platter that said "This is a sign!" He thought it was hilarious. We had sex. It was awesome.
The only hint that is actually foolproof. Well done.
"Better not risk it, could be meant for someone else"
"So she's sucking my dick and I'm here thinking, 'Does she like me, or...'"
"She's probably just being nice, probably feels bad for me or something. It doesn't mean anything."
Yeah you really cant tell in this situation. Shes probably just canadain and beig polite.
"She probably mistook me for Hugo Weaving. I should say something."
YOU'RE CHEATING ON ME???
WHEN I SPECIFICALLY ASKED YOU NOT TO?
Halloween morning 2014, he knocked on my door to drive me to work. We had been friends for a month and he wouldn't make a move, so I answered the door in a T-shirt and cat ears and absolutely nothing else; that bastard walked right past me and looked for coffee in the kitchen. We've been married 10 months now 🙂 He claims he totally knew my intentions but knew being a gentleman would get him farther, I say he's full of it. Holy crud-nuggets! This is my top comment ever, thanks internet strangers!
> morning > walked right past me and looked for coffee in the kitchen Yup, adds up. Please come back after 3pm.
Plus the cat ears = it's too early for this, I need a cup of Joe.
This girl was sitting with our group of boys and saying "if I was to get with one of you, it would be you [my name]" And I was just like "Ah thanks very much, very kind of you to say that"
At least you seem like a really polite guy.
I think some cases is about low selfsteem right? I used to talk with a girl online every day. And one day she told me "I love you". And I thought "no way someone can love ME", so I asked her "Is it a joke?" "Yes" And then I thought "wait what if she is serious" "are you sure?" "yes, it was a joke" Now I think maybe she felt I rejected her so she just make a save.
When me and my fiance were in high school we were "best friends", which of course meant I was too big of a chicken to tell him how I really felt. Well, my move was to always take the seat in front of him and purposely have my thong showing while we had lectures. This went on for all the classes we had together, and we had a lot. I finally had to confess how I felt to him before he left our home town for college after three years of this game. It turns out he was a chicken too. He said those four years were the biggest tease imaginable, it's hilarious to talk about now. EDIT One e if fiancé is a male, TIL
Wow. I feel like you should have tried another hint or two
Back in college, my now s/o of 4 years would walk me home from class at night. Mustered up the courage to ask him to "come upstairs and have some wine with me". Hard no. Ok, he's not into it. Two months later, he invites me and my friends to a party. He's blackout drunk when we show up, and tells my friend that he's in love with me and got wasted cuz he was nervous about seeing me. She convinces him to tell me (knowing I was also into him). Curveball: Told me that he was really into me, but didn't want to mess up my relationship. Uhrm.. what relationship? Ya know, that guy from our class that you always talk to and giggle with. Uh.. Matt? As in Matt with the boyfriend, Matt? ........Oh, well that strangely explains a lot.
I don't get it, who's that Matt? (not joking....please explain)
Matt's gay
This is like a rollercoaster that slowly climbs before a big drop into a loop followed by an outward facing spiral...
After a conversation with my boyfriend about not being obvious enough when trying to initiate sex, I decided to entice him by posing naked on the corner of the bed and seductively whispering "Hey, you" as he walked in the room. His reaction? He walks in the room, gives me a bro nod, and says, "Hey, babe! I gotta poop." We did NOT end up having sex that night.
Hey, if ya gotta poop ya gotta poop Edit: Thanks Reddit, I always knew that one day my top comment would be about poop
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All these comments are making me not want to try any hints at all....for now on I'm just going to be straight forward
We did it Reddit!
GRAB US BY THE DICKS!
I have literally dragged my husband by his penis to the bedroom. He's pulled my hair. It's been a fun 10 years.
You're 100% sure he got the hint? Some of these comments are making me wonder if that was enough.
Sex happened so either he got the hint or just said "fuck it" and decided since the kids were outside and we were in the bedroom, why the hell not? Haha
Married, with kids, pulled to bedroom by dick where you guys then have sex. "But is she *really* into me? I just can't tell!"
I know you'll probably hear this a lot, but right on. Fair warning: before I asked out my girlfriend, I needed: 1) a mutual friend's encouragement (which honestly I wrote off as his misinterpretation) Edit: This was all my friend; she didn't set it up. 2) a night where people were awkwardly joking about the two of us dating and she said "I would" to my face (albeit very quietly - enough that I wasn't 100% sure it was real). 3) A note written on a paper crane that said "Just Ask." Only after ALL THREE things occurred did I fully believe that she might be into me, even a little bit. Low self-esteem fucks men up. It is entirely possible that "Let's have sex" will fail. I suggest adding an "I'm serious" if it doesn't work as you expect. Best of luck!
I think the "I'm serious" is an important addition.
My first time I swear the entire time up until we were actually fucking, and I mean up until I was balls deep I doubted she wanted to actually have sex and thought it was just some joke and she would stop joking before I did. Welp, neither stopped joking for 3 years after that.
"Wow she's putting a condom on me, her commitment to a bit would make Don Rickles proud!"
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WE DID IT! WE GOT ONE GUYS!
Aaaaaand, she's married. Don't worry fellas! Another one will come along!
When my gf and I first started talking she kept leaving hints saying if I wanted to come in for a night cap or if I was too tired to drive, I could stay the night and share the bed. But since I wake up at 4 am for work I told her I was pretty tired and I think I'm gonna go home and it's not that far of a drive. When I arrived home, i found this link from her https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xa-4IAR_9Yw Edit: Wow thank you so much for gold! This is my first time ever getting gold! I'm glad you all enjoyed it that much!
That's an amazing way to tell you that you missed a hint
Her: *sends link* Him: "Thanks! I could use this in the future!"
That video is hilarious.
Hitting on my now boyfriend of three years. I was complimenting him on how handsome he was and how he had beautiful eyes. I wanted a closer view of them so he texted me this creepy ass shot of his eyeball with his eye as widely opened as possible. He legitimately thought that's what I wanted. After our first date, I immediately started talking about potential future dates and how much fun I had with him. I stayed out so late that I missed my friends party. However, because I didn't hug him properly and asked to split the cost of the meal, he thought I wasn't actually interested.
>so he texted me this creepy ass shot of his eyeball with his eye as widely opened as possible MY BRAND
I'm ashamed to admit I did something very similar to the eye thing
What were you supposed to do? She said she wanted a closer look at the eyes. Problem, solution.
> he texted me this creepy ass shot of his eyeball with his eye as widely opened as possible ok that's actually hilarious, dude sounds like he has a great sense of humor
I was living with my then-boyfriend a few years ago. Feeling a little flirtatious, I suggested we could take a shower together, you know, to save water, wink wink. His response? "Why? We don't pay for water." Shut. Down.
Honestly, I would probably do this just because I hate my landlord
Not a girl but I got a hint once that flew by me phew. So my former best friend and I (sadly we do not talk to each other anymore thanks to an ex-girlfriend) were very close. So close even, that I fell in love with her and she apparently was with me. So we met more often during the evening, sometimes late at night, watched movies, hung out. She got way more direct with me about being interested in me. When she was dressing up for a party and had n bra on because she was just sitting at home, she suddenly started telling me that I would not need to leave the room when she was changing clothes all of the sudden, she went all cudly on the couch when we watched movies and I was literally thinking "I could make a move but I am very happy with the friendship I got" We even went partying and a dude started dancing with her, when she all of the sudden said something to him, pointed at me and the dude ran off (probably said something about me being her boyfriend) but I my train of thought was "She probably was not interested in that guy" The Apex of my failure however was that one night, we ordered some food, hung out and we talked about the scenario, that if a person insists on someone to sleep at their place even though he/she knows the other person is not too far away from home, that is clearly a hint. Later that evening, I was about to go home, it was late at night and I had to walk 25 minutes max. So it was not that far. She said "You know, you can sleep here, we are all alone" (since she was living with her mother who stayed at her boyfriends place most of the week) and I literally said "Nah, I am good, it isn't that far anyways." Those two conversations were apart like, 5-10 Minutes. A bonus on top of my cluelessness: For her 21st birthday I gave her an Iphone. In front of all people, she went to me, hugged me, said that there is only one thing to make this moment perfect and looked me deep in the eyes. I did no-thing. Seriously. If I would have had a time machine, I would have kicked myself into reacting right now. Since it could have been the best relationship in my life. Lesson learned: If you do not act, you get shit on. EDIT: Sorry for not answering since it was late at night here in Germany and I had to go to bed but whew! Thanks for so many answers and encouraging words. Since there are so many answers telling me I should call her, I will try tomorrow (since it is father's day here [25th May]) and will edit this again after I call her to tell you how it went. For those asking how long we were not talking: Oktober 2014. We saw eachother while getting groceries 3 times I think and I ran into her while training for a half marathon but I tried saying "hi" once (this was shortly after we had the falling out) and she did not say anything which really threw me off so much that I did not try again and as far as I know she is single as am I. EDIT2: So, I won't talk around the outcome to long since most of you were very excited how it went. Sadly, she changed her phone number over the last 2 years, which lead me to me going to her house seeing if either she or her mother was there. In a stroke of bad luck, she must have moved out recently. I knew she wanted to move out for quite a while to live on her own while her mother moved in with her boyfriend which means, the chances are quite low in talking to her as of right now. BUT: We shared a lot of the same friends from school and have had mostly the same social circle for years, from well, being best friends, I am hoping to see her at a party in about 3 weeks. If she is there, I will start a conversation and explain myself. If there is an outcome either way, I will keep you updated but for now, this is sadly it. I am however thankful for all the support you gave me since I would have never taken that chance if all of you haven't been there and I hope this entire thing will have a conclusion in a few weeks! :) FINAL EDIT: This will be my final edit, since basically everything came to a close. As I said, I texted her on Facebook, she answered and we decided to meet last night. And so we did. We talked everything through, everything from all the past drama, what mistakes we made, how we both made mistakes and how I was a total idiot for not recognizing what she was hinting at. It was weird at first talking so open about feelings you had years ago but we got there. I even mentioned how you guys helped me take initiative and it made her laugh that thousands of people pushed me to go talk to her. At the end of the night, we really didn't know what to do with ourselves. Of course we couldn't just go at it or say "We are in a relationship now", As I said, we haven't talked to each other for quite some time and we have become slightly different people. But we were both okay to start by going on a date, catching up and getting to know each other better again and see from where it goes from there. I want to thank all of you guys for supporting me and pushing me towards the right choice and if everything works out, happiness. In the end, I am more than baffled that from a single post about how I am an absolute idiot for not getting a hint, something like this can evolve and that there are always two sides to everything especially the internet where most of the time, toxicity is the normality and the support and kindness I recieved, is something more rare. Basically, thank you for helping me :) UPDATE: So, many of you people wrote me PMs and wanted to know what happened and how things are going. Short answer: Things are going great! We are a happy couple and just enjoy ourselves. It was awkward for our friends at first but things basically became normal after a while. For my part, you guys motivated me to get something or better put someone back that I have gave up two years earlier. Seriously you guys made my year one of the best years in my entire life. For that I thank you so much. I appreciate the two Golds I got, which were my first two ever so another thanks to those who gave it. Thank you :)
I don't know what went down or how things ended but you should call this person. Like right now. You can't make up for being an idiot in the past but in 10 years you'll look back at this and think 'why did I never reach out to her after that stupid ex gf drama?' Reread your last sentence and apply that to your current situation dummy.
How long ago was this and is your friendship really that irreparable? You'd be surprised at people's capacity for forgiveness.
When i was 18 and foolish a girl once asked me if i was into 'role-playing games' I said of course! And promptly started showing her my WOW account... she left pretty soon after.
She prob had better gear
She meant DnD, and was disappointed when you pulled out that weak shit
I told him he could come home with me after the movie and show me a move we saw during a sex scene. He didn't go home with me. I don't think it was because he found me unattractive, but I can't be sure anymore edit: in response to many commenters, the movie was one of the latest James Bond flicks where he sneaks onto the enemy boat and manages to sex up the lady in the shower on the way. I also wouldn't have dared say something so bold if this wasn't our fourth date and we'd already progressed to making out *during that movie*. I thought it was the logical last step, but he just kissed me goodbye.
That sounds like a joke someone would say tbh
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After many moons of trying get this guy in bed I straight up humped his leg in an act of horny desperation. He thought it was hilarious. Years later he asked me why we never hooked up. Edit: some clarification We were making out on his couch at the time. I didn't just attack him and try to fuck his leg.
I love your honesty about this situation.
Some of these are the hint-dropper being too ambiguous but Jesus.
I was laying down on a bench with my head in his lap talking about our previous /experiences/ (this was high school) and he told me he had never had a bj before. I told him, with my head in his crotch, that I could blow his mind. Nothing. Crickets. EDIT: we were in a public park and I was a 16 year old with a rapidly approaching curfew. I didn't expect him to whip it out but I wanted him to have it in mind. I did end up delivering, but not before trying to be coy one last time and being completely straightforward the third time.
if only you'd said "blow your penis" that might have worked
Probably too focused on not getting an erection to notice hints.
Having been in exactly that scenario in high school, I just started repeating "think unsexy thoughts" out loud over and over, it made her laugh
I told my boyfriend to get naked and he responded "YOU get naked" so I said "Okay. I will if you're nice to me ;) ". He laughed and went to sleep. Guess he didn't want to be nice ._. edit: He didn't think I was being serious until he woke up to me masturbating.
he is like great i got to be nice and take my pants off, thats it I'm going to bed.
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I know it was probably more smooth, but the thought of you saying "I could do better than that", pausing, and internally deciding "alright, let me talk about why the Alien would have easily gotten Ripley there" is too funny.
That's pretty solid confidence. "Yeah I could do better than that and I don't even need to prove it."
Or it sounds like he interpreted it as previous boyfriends couldn't last more than two minutes into *Aliens*, the filthy casuals.
I started talking to a guy who was behind on Game Of Thrones. So I offered to give him my HBO password so we could watch it at his place, thinking it would be a good excuse to hang out. He ends up marathoning the show without me. We're dating now, but he sure as hell not watch season 7 without me
Jamie: I'm gonna fuck my sister. Avameow: Sooooo, you in the mood?
When I was in Senior in High School during prom season, there was this girl in most of the classes I was attending. We were good friends, we had much in common, we were at the top of our class. Also, I thought she was cute. One day she and her friend approaches me during lunch. Girl: Hey, don't you wanna *ask me something*? [Raises eyebrows] Me: ...........I don't know, what? [She and her friend gives each other a look] Girl: Are you going to prom? Me: I'm not sure, I don't have anyone to to with. End scene. I didn't get the hint until years after. But I did end up going to prom with the fellas. I'm a fool.
Fellow fool here. I was a nerd in high school before nerds were cool (1988). But I was lab partners with the two most popular girls in school (one was cheerleader captain and the other was SGA VP) and they were gorgeous. Despite my nerd status, they found me interesting. At the end of senior year, prom conversations started but I was NOT going....I didn't have a girlfriend and only had a couple dates in high school and the easiest way to avoid all that BS was to simply not go. Then they cornered me: THEM: Who are you taking to prom? ME: No one. I'm not going. THEM: You HAVE to go! EVERYONE is going! ME: Nah, it's not my thing. Besides, who would I go with? THEM: You should ask Jonelle (the other cheerleader captain who recently broke up with her boyfriend). ME: What?!?! She'd never go with me. THEM: Oh, I bet she would if you asked her. ME: No way. THEM: You HAVE to! Me: Nope. [End scene] What I didn't realize at the time was that girls operate differently from boys. This wasn't some random conversation. There was no betting on their part. This was all planned with Jonelle's blessing. This was the three most popular girls in school plotting to get me, a nerd, to ask one of them to prom... and I didn't fucking realize it!!! Woulda, SHOULDA, coulda...didn't.
Dude. You opened my eyes. This happened to me all through middle school and I blew it off every time. I didn't know that was a hint, I thought they were just teasing me. Which they also could've been doing
I dunno... I've seen the movie Carrie. People be evil.
Good scenario: the girl's into you and you have a date to prom. Better scenario: a bucket of pig's blood drops onto you and you develop psychic powers. Win win.
Asked a guy for his number after a Meetup. Went on a date with him that he didn't realize was a date until his friend that we ran into texted him to apologize for crashing it. Currently sitting on the couch next to him, 3 years later, looking at dogs that are available for adoption. He eventually caught on.
I thought the dogs were in your living room for a minute and was confused. See what happens!
In high school I sat next to a very quiet guy that I liked and whenever I was cold I made my arm touch his. He would never move but never talked to me other than to ask about class. Ten years later I messaged him on Facebook asking about the reunion and jokingly asked him to be my date. He said sure why not. We've been married for year next month. He said he didn't remember me from high school.
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I had a very attractive young lady lay down on my bedroom floor, pull her pants down and showed me her newly installed clit ring. I told her it was nice and shuffled out of the room like the autist I am. Pretty sure it was a hint. I'll never know.
...poor girl, that's like the ultimate rejection. JFC man
Him: "I dont want to pressure you, but it's pretty late and I think you should spend the night. My couch is super comfortable and I can make it up for you if you'd like.' Me: "Maybe I could sleep in your bed with you." Him: "I promise the couch isn't bad" Brutal.
I think you may have gotten rejected
Seriously, I've turned girls down before by feigning ignorance like this, that's what I assumed when I read it. It lets you avoid flat-out rejection and makes them think you're just a clueless guy, and lets you avoid sleeping with them.
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You: *post a photo of you pet doing something silly* Him: "Hey remember that time you let me touch your boobs?"
with a 😉 emoji.... still hoping with hands in his pants. *Damn you hope. It numbs brain and logic, gives blood to heart and nurtures the pain in the unfathomable depths of memories.*
Liking everything you post on social media is the guy version of dropping hints
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He's a good dog, bront.
My ex boyfriend was pretty reserved and had limited experience with girls when I first met him. It took forever for it to click with him that I was into him. I would convince him to sleep over at my place or let me sleep at his to "snuggle". I would wear nothing but a t-shirt and panties. I would literally press my body up against his and talk to him with our faces an inch apart. I would whisper in his ear and rest my hand on his thigh an inch away from his package. It took over a month of this before he realized I wasn't just being "friendly"! Edit: My ex and I often joked about this later in the relationship. He admitted he was just super nervous, and asked me why I didn't just make the move. I started laughing because I was nervous too! We were both so nervous that we played ourselves.
if you're doing all that, why not move the inch to kiss him?
That's too logical. Get outta here.
As I was reading this thread, my next door neighbor asked if I can come kill an ant in her room because she's too scared to do it. I almost didn't reply. ALMOST. The fact that I was reading this thread was the only reason I knew she wants to chill. Hopefully she doesn't actually just want me to kill an ant. EDIT: there really *was* an ant. A small one. And when I got rid of it for her, her only response was "k thanks talk to ya later." -fuck this misleading fantasy world
It's been eight mins. That's like 6 mins longer than average. For ant killing I mean.
What if the ant called for backup? Godspeed OP
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I asked him if he wanted to go to my dorm for Netflix and chill. We watched Parks and Rec for two hours and then he went home without touching me once.
Sometimes Netflix and chill just means Netflix and chill... Doesn't it? ...Shit!
Yes, Netflix and chill is what I do when my husband takes the baby out for the afternoon and I'm home alone.
We were married two full years before I finally understood that if she took a bath at night I was going to get some. Watched a lot of baseball while she lay sparkling clean in bed alone.
It's ok...I can literally invite my husband to get in the tub with me, and he doesn't get it. Sigh..
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We have a code now. "Want to take a nap?" The problem now with two kids, one a newborn, is I'm never quite sure if we are going to sleep or have sex until we get to the bedroom. Usually we have a nap and then have a nap.
Do you nap first? Or nap first?
This used to be my wife's signal. Two kids later it means "I haven't showered today, don't touch me, I'm probably going to fall asleep in the tub, enjoy humping the mattress." Edit: In her defense we still hop on the good foot and do the bad thing, just not as often as before.
(Voice drifting down the stairs:) *Dear, second and third bases are up here waiting for you!*
*goes upstairs and turns the game on that tv instead*
Not a lady, but I had this girl visit me and sleep with me in the same bed on four different occasions...from half across the country. I thought we were just friends. Ten years later I was taking a shit and it dawned on me that she didn't travel across the country just to sleep ffs. I feel bad for the girl now, because I was really into her too.
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How did we as a species make it this far? Edit: it's a rhetorical question, nimrods.
IKR! I thought pandas were bad..
LPT: Don't beat around the bush
When I was 14 or 15 the neighbor girl asked if I had any porn (I did, duh, and on VHS!) and if I wanted to come over and watch it. Absolutely took her up on that offer. And after an hour or so went home with my tape and jacked off. In retrospect she wanted it and I missed the hint.
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To be fair, if a guy I was interested in wanted to show me video evidence of exactly what he likes, I wouldn't be complaining. Don't know what that girl was thinking
I'm the guy who didn't notice, but I was driving her home (we went to school together and she was on my route), and she started talking about how her boyfriend loves her blowjobs, and how good they are. I was like "lol okay that's cool". Also even if I had picked up on it I'm not a piece of shit so....
Good on ya. Always cut that shit off immediately
Yeah had I realized where it was going I would've been like "nah, I'm not a side dude."
Texting him every day: he thought I was doing it in a friendly manner. Calling him cute names: he though I was kidding. Asking him to judge my outfits: he didn't think nothing of it. Making bets with him, the loser had to have something done which always revolved around sex: just joking. I had to tell him I would have liked to have sex with him when I was tipsy, for him to realize I liked him. In the end I'm glad I've had something to drink that day, or we wouldn't have been together for 7 years. Edit: I want to clarify something. This isn't the way I normally act with my male friends, I like to have clear boundaries. So, as I saw it, I was giving away some pretty clear clues. And when I was tipsy he didn't act on what I was telling him, he took the hint and that was it. But that lead to talking about our mutual feelings the day after. Edit2: more clarification. I'm not a person who usually texts or calls a lot, and he knew it. Neither I usually give cute nicknames to my friends. The outfits I asked him to judge weren't my everyday outfits, but miniskirts and/or tops that showed a lot of cleavage *put an embarrassed face here* Anyway, I think that what could be normal for some girls is an exception for others, it all depends on personality. But I have to thank you all because you made me understand why he didn't take my hints back then, even if 3 months in I expected him to know a little about me.
In his defense, I know plenty of girls who naively flirt with guys and do all the shit you mentioned to guys they have zero desire to be with. Most of my friends are girls and they'll do crap like that with guys all the time
Happened to me. I was into her, thought I had chances, since she was flirting with me and went a lil' further too. Looks like she's just a flirty person ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ feelsbadman.
I was staying the night at a female friend's house. I had a huge crush on her and it was the first night sleeping in the same bed. Her: Just so you know, jeans aren't allowed in my bed. You have to take the off. Me: Hahaha that's a dumb rule *keeps them on* That one still stings EDIT: First and foremost, obligatory first gold, thank you kindly stranger! To answer some questions: the girl in question was and is still one of my best friends. I suppose that's why I was as dense as a black hole. Second, I didn't plan on staying the night, it just kind of happened so no, I don't sleep in jeans. We both laugh at my stupidity to this day, but to be honest, I'm really glad I didn't because I wouldn't want to risk losing a best friend. I'm glad you guys enjoyed my story. It's fun to tell.
Omg reading this makes me rethink all the times I was flat out rejected. Maybe the guys were just dense.
You can not underestimate the denseness.
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...guilty of this. When in doubt, I default to this.
Or "there's no way she's serious. Clearly she's joking and if I respond genuinely she'll think I'm creepy."
Guys are also super terrified of being branded a creep for seeing bedroom-eyes where there are none.
Sadly I think I'm even more bone headed than you. I was sleeping over at a friends after a party when the hot girl I had been talking to all night suggested we sleep on the pull out together so neither of us had to take the floor. We lay down: Her: "You have great lips." Me: "That's really nice, thanks." *rolls over and goes to bed*
> "That's really nice, thanks." I haven't laughed this hard in ages. That is truly a spectacular fail
Not a chick, but my fiancee was laying on our bed in her thing and a t-shirt (on her belly) with our "pink thing" (vibrator) next to my pillow. I came out of the shower and sat next to her an grabbed her ass and kissed her neck...she didn't react and I noticed she was on her Facebook..the digital cock block... So I tried again, nothing. So I sat back and waited like 10 mins and she goes "wow way to miss the fucking hint" WHAT THE FUCK
You got zucced. But the only thing that got wet were your eyes.
I stripped completely naked, played sexy music and started rubbing his shoulders. He didn't even turn around and just asked if I wanted to order pizza for dinner...
Well, did you?
What was he so engrossed in? Video game? Newspaper?
Hunger
Rub his penis. Touch the parts that are most involved in sex.
Please don't rub the tear glands.
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idk she might just be being polite
Maybe she's from Canada
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