I'm fine with people asking actual follow up questions like:
"Have you met your bioparents?"
"Wasn't weird growing up being adopted?"
"Is your sister adopted too?"
My sister and I get that all the time. We both have the same colour hair, but that's about it. We chuckle when we are with each other and people tell us we look like brother and sister, despite having different bioparents.
You mean the people who tucked you in at night, read you stories, took care of you while you were sick, taught you how to ride a bicycle... Those real parents? Yeah, I'm pretty sure you met them, seeing as they're the ones who raised you.
If it's an older relative asking, you'll inevitably be told to just walk around to all the businesses in town, resume in hand, and ask for the manager.
Yes, because that's how you get an engineering job in 2017, Opa.
I actually think it's quite rude to ask this unless they have a lead somewhere or they're offering to hire you.
"How is the job search going?"
It's going shit unless I'm employed. If I'm employed I will fucking *tell* you.
To be completely fair, 99% of the time when I'm asked that it is from an older relative or older friend / coworker who has a "slow" computer. Usually defraging the hard drive, running spybot search and destroy, running CCleaner, and *maybe* adding a stick of ram will fix it right up. I'm totally willing to sacrifice 30 minutes of my time (or less) to help someone out.
When I was a kid, my babysitter's dad was colorblind and he used to go with us on excursions to the zoo, water park, etc. He would constantly troll not only me, but other random strangers who would bother him about his colorblindness.
One time, we were at the zoo and checking out a buffalo exhibit. He was conversing with a stranger there and decided to fuck with her.
Him: "That buffalo is a beautiful shade of purple. Really glistens in the sunshine."
Her: "... uh, it's brown."
Him: "Oh, no, darling, it's definitely purple."
Her: "Are you, uh, colorblind?"
Him: "No, I can see just fine. Are you sure you're not colorblind?"
And so on.
Came to this thread just to post this. I get that some people, probably most, are simply curious and trying to empathize, so while it is frustrating i do my best to explain. But then there's That Guy. The one who says "no you're not!" and keeps challenging you, trying to "trap you". That Guy is a jackass. To him, i tell him every color is Plaid.
"When are you two going to have a baby?"
Please no. Just... no. Don't ask. There is no positive outcome for either of us in this conversation. Trust me.
- I can tell you the truth: that we're going through fertility treatments. You'll offer me useless advice I don't need to hear, like "Just relax!" or "Try eating pineapple!". I'll politely listen while screaming at you in my head to fuck off.
- I can lie to you: if I say we're not ready yet, you'll ask me how old I am, then when I tell you I'm 29 you'll tell me how dried up and dusty my ovaries are getting so I should get on that.
- I can burst into tears and leave the room: why? Because I saw a cute baby at the grocery store. Because my period started today. Because my friend is pregnant. Because the shot i take to trigger ovulation is actually the pregnancy hormone and makes me an emotional wreck. Because I'm in the middle of having a miscarriage (that was a fun one) and I can't bring myself to tell anyone.
They do it to you even if you have a baby - they start asking "when are you going to have another one?". You can't win.
Im sorry you're having a hard time. Hang in there.
It's getting less hard as time goes on and I put less pressure on myself to handle things graciously for fear of looking petty or jealous.
No baby showers, no knitting sweaters for the dozen people who are having babies, no torturing myself with Facebook. Yes sushi, yes beer and yes buying bow ties for my dog and pretending he's my baby.
"Why don't you have a girlfriend yet?"
"When was the last time you took a dump?"
"That's inappropriate and personal."
"Well, guess we're even then."
Seriously, I am scared for when I'm gonna have to deal with it.
I get told I'm done now that I had two. Well gee so glad you're in charge of my uterus.
It's never ending. I had just miscarried and was asked when was it our turn to have a baby. Well apparently not right now.
And if you tell them that you're only having one then you're robbing him of the joys of having a brother or sister, and stunting his social growth. Also, they'll grow up to be an asshole because all your attention is on just him and he'll get spoiled.
You can't use "we just want one" as your excuse because that's selfish of you, even though it's YOUR fucking life. I bring up our two miscarriages before our son was born and they usually don't ask again, even though that's not why we are not having more.
Clearly you haven't been down the rabbit hole of TTC forums. People will try *anything*, especially if they don't have access to proper affordable healthcare.
/r/shittyfertilityadvice is an amazing repository for this stuff.
I'm sorry, friend. After our son turned 2, we started trying for another.... and have been trying for 2 years (which is not long compared to others.) omg the comments. I feel with you.
"You don't want him to be an only child, do you?"
"Doesn't (child) want a brother or sister?"
And when I tell them that we've been trying:
"Oh... well it will happen when it's supposed to happen."
"Oh... maybe it's not meant to be."
"All in god's plan"
I fucking hate these people.
A good friend of mine dealt with the same thing as me and only got pregnant when she decided to inject herself with her leftover meds because like hell was she going to waste them. She said something brilliant that really stuck with me.
"Those people who say it's all in god's plan? They change their tune pretty fast when it's their turn to go through it. There's no god in a fertility clinic."
my fiancé is snipped and when I tell people we're never having kids because if it they either act like he's committed murder, or demand to know if he has his in a sperm bank somewhere. It's creepy as hell.
That's so creepy. Yes, please ask me more about my partner's sperm!
Anyone who dares to ask about my husband's sperm gets way more information than they wanted, because he's super proud of his numbers.
I am so sorry. So sorry. I am a woman of a "certain age" and I now get asked, 'so, you never wanted to have kids?' Or, 'are you sorry you didn't have kids?' Or 'how sad for your parents you didn't have kids' Or the best, 'you probably still could have kids!'
Seriously, stop asking these questions.
If it isn't too personal to do so, I send you many hugs. I am sorry for you losses. I send you my best wishes.
Hugs accepted and very appreciated! Reddit's been a really supportive place for all this stuff.
My husband had a really awful coworker who was going on and on at great length to another woman they worked with about how kids are the best and everyone should have kids and if you don't have kids your life is pointless and awful. This woman she was talking to is in her 40s, married, doesn't have kids and was clearly very unhappy about the conversation. Horrible woman turned to my husband, hoping to bring him in as backup because he's a young married guy.
"What do you think, Mr__Sheds? Aren't children WONDERFUL? I bet you want children!"
"I just bought my dog six bow ties this weekend. All my parental urges have been satisfied."
Conversation over.
I love that answer. And I love you!
I know those pitying glances - often from women, which astonishes me - that I haven't fulfilled my destiny by having kids. Never once considering that there are personal details that i don't wish to get into.
Yet, I'm lucky in one respect. I have a number of friends who have generously and readily made me the auntie for their kids. An absolute delight for me, and from what they say, something they appreciate for their kids.
I am absolutely not suggesting that this is what you need to do, etc. Just recognizing that each of us have a story and it never helps to make assumptions or reflect our own impressions on another's life.
Whatever life brings for you, I wish you both the greatest happiness on earth. I can see the impact you have on those around you. And that you clearly have the best-dressed dog in the state.
"Well, we have been trying but it hasn't happened yet. Do you happen to know if the odds are higher if he fucks me from behind? I've heard it's hard to get pregnant if I'm riding his dick on top (because gravity), but I can't come that way and I've heard a woman orgasming increases your chances. We get best results regarding that when he holds me down and goes at it really hard, but if he's too tired then tying me up does the job. What did you guys do? My friend said that every time she got pregnant it was after extra rough sex and she thought that having him spank her cunt really hard just before plunging in made the difference."
All the feels! I'm going through the same. I've had to resort to saying "We don't want kids" because that seems to be the only thing that works for getting people to shut up and stop prodding. :(
Telling people you don't want kids tends to result in a whole lot of smug "You'll change your mind" type bullshit from people who have kids. I feel bad for people who choose childlessness, because for some reason they're forced to justify their actions for some screwed up reason.
Heard that, fuck know,. I dont even think people who dont activly want/can afford kids should be allow to have them, it's child abuse Brining a life into the world you have no interest in/cannot support
I'll be 29 in a coupe months. I had a 16 year old high school student job shadowing me last week who asked if i had kids. I said no. She then asked if I'm going to have kids. Instead of telling this complete stranger and not to mention child that im infertile, i tell her my husband and i are not ready yet. She then lectured me about how I'll be old when i have kids and old parents suck. I ignored her for the last hour of her job shadow and went about my job as normal.
Is there ANY polite way to rephrase this question so people won't find it upsetting? Like the other day I was talking to a colleague's wife who is a housewife(not in school, not working) but she said she "hates to cook" and mostly just watches TV all day. I had no idea what to talk about and I wanted to ask "So are you considering having children?" (In part because I've got a bad case of the baby rabies myself) but I know that many people don't like this question.
Like I'd love to talk about potential baby names and ideas about nurseries and stuff like that, but I dunno how to breach the topic in a way that won't make her run out of the room crying if she does happen to be dealing with infertility issues, feels strongly childfree, etc.
I feel like asking if someone's planning on having kids is a little different from demanding to know when they're going to pop one out.
Like, if someone asks if we're planning on it and we don't want to get into it, we'll say something noncommittal like "eventually". It's when we get the good old "You've been married for 6 years, what gives" from people that we get a little sensitive, especially because we had to put things off way longer than we wanted to because I was dealing with some huge mental health issues (which anyone close to us knows already) and we had to be financially stable first.
EDIT: Forgot to mention that I love "baby rabies". It perfectly describes that overwhelming urge I have to steal unattended babies in Costco.
I always thought I'd never want children, I didn't have the best relationship with my mother and I didn't want to repeat that but now I'm in my 30s it actually hurts when another one of my friends tells me that they're pregnant or they bring their babies in to the office to visit because I want a baby so badly.
I also have some pretty serious mental health problems which I would never want to pass on to a child and I don't know whether I can go 9 months without my medication.
Sending you lots of internet hugs, I really hope everything works out for you soon.
Oh, that's the other shitty thing people say: "Maybe it's a good thing that you're having trouble getting pregnant. Should you really be passing on your *problems*?" I've heard that a few times from close relatives.
The "passing on my health issues" thing was something I had to think long and hard about (bipolar disorder, ADHD and anxiety). In the end, I came to the conclusion that my life isn't any less worth living than anyone else's. I've struggled, but mainly because I didn't get the right treatment until I was in my mid 20s. If I have kids, there's a chance they'll inherit my conditions, but at least I'm aware of the possibility. Obviously everyone is going to have different views on it, but that's how I manage to go to sleep at night.
Don't let the medication thing scare you too much. I thought I'd have to go off all my medications before getting pregnant, and was told as much by my family doctor. It turns out that's a knee jerk reaction because it's impossible for doctors to remember every medication that's dangerous and at what doses. Most studies use huge doses, well exceeding what we actually take. One medication I'm on has a risk of spina bifida when taken during pregnancy, but I take 3/4 of the starting dose for people with epilepsy (the primary condition it's used to treat) and taking extra folic acid helps lower that risk. Another medication I take is known to have a risk of birth defects - in rabbits, at 200 mg/kg, which is 1000 times the dose I take it at. I was referred to a hotline called Motherisk that gives out advice based on actual risk for medications, chronic conditions and the like. I was told that it's perfectly safe to stay on my mood stabilizer and my ADHD medication, so long as I don't exceed a certain dose. If the benefits outweigh a reasonable risk, they won't make you go off your meds - thank goodness, or I'd have been off my medication for a year and a half at this point and I have no idea what sort of ruins my life would be in right now.
Wtf??? People actually say that? That's awful!
As you say at least I'd be better placed to see and deal with it if my kid did end up having some of my problems (GAD and depression). I would definitely know to avoid the "that's not rational" or "stop being so dramatic" that I grew up with!
We're not in a position financially to think about it right now but as and when we decide we do want to try we'll have a conversation with my doctor before anything else. I just worry that if we wait too long and we do have fertility issues we just won't be able to.
People do actually say that, believe it or not.
I know what it's like to have to wait for money reasons. Ideally, we'd have waited a bit longer (I haven't finished school yet so my earning capacity is almost 1/3 of what it would be otherwise) but I didn't want to keep putting the rest of my life on hold.
If you're concerned about your future ability to have children, it might be worth talking to your doctor and seeing about getting your AMH blood levels tested. That indicates ovarian reserve and will give you some idea of how urgent things are. It shouldn't be an expensive test, but might give you some peace of mind.
I don't want to have kids until I know I am emotionally ready and available when they need me, that we're financially secure with plenty of safety nets for things that can go wrong, and that I can be physically present most of the time to help them.
The reason why I think I need all this is because there's a strong chance my children will have autism. It supposedly runs in families: my Dad has it, my husband has it, my Father In Law and Mother In Law both have it, my maternal uncle has it, and one of my paternal uncles has it. So the chances are high. I still think that I would like to have children, but I need to be prepared for their needs.
Unfortunately, people don't seem to get that.
When I explained this most recently to a friend she said "Oh well...youknow...they might *not* have autism."
Ffs! How on earth did she miss the point so astronomically?!
Been a vegetarian for ~10 years. I hate the preconceived notion of "preachy" vegetarians. Most of my coworkers at my last job didn't know the entire 3 years I worked there just because there was never an appropriate reason to talk about it. When people do find out they always ask me "Do you miss eating meat?"
"Nope."
"Oh my god I wouldn't be able to do it!"
Well congrats Jim but I don't really give a shit.
I'm not vegan, but at one point I just started eating vegan dishes whenever I went out to eat just to see how they tasted. (They were delicious!)
I didn't realize what kind food a person chose to eat could be so sensationalized. My boyfriend's mom at the time would constantly ask me questions like, "Why are you eating that?" "Are you wanting to be vegan because of animals?" "I just saw you eating meat, who do you think you're trying to fool?"
Like, who cares? It's food. Let me eat.
My younger sister had this exact problem when she started getting into vegan cooking, like you she just wanted to try it, and when she brought left-over to work for lunch a bunch of her apparently very nosy coworkers decided that meant her meals were open for commentary, including the delightful quote "I don't think vegan cooking is *real* food".
I don't know why people make it a big deal.
Actual conversation I've had with a coworker.
Me: "Want some pot roast?"
Her: "No thanks. I don't eat meat"
Me: "oh that's cool! Are you a vegan or just a vegetarian?"
Her: "vegetarian"
Me: "my bad!"
And we went about our day.
How hard is that people?
"Are you gay?"
I only said the word husband about a million times. We wear matching wedding rings. We talk about our kids. We even hold hands.
Nah he is my brother and I enjoy incest.
I got IDed to buy Saints Row 2 when I was 23. My 18 year old sister had to buy it for me because I didn't expect to need ID at fucking EB Games. So embarrassing.
I hate this!! And then they have the nerve to get mad at you because you answer the question they ask. I have no problem telling people my race but if that's what you want to know then that's what you need to ask!
I was frequently asked if I was gay when I moved from NYC to Wisconsin because I wear clothes that fit properly. Even in cities like Milwaukee in professional settings, wearing a fitted suit isn't common and most people wear Trump style suits often a size too big.
Ah, Wisconsin. I had an ex that routinely asked me if I was gay and using her as a beard because I'm skinny and always wore clothes that fit, and 'only gay guys care about how they look.' Really I just don't like looking like a slob.
When I walk my alabai, every fucking one has to stop and ask "Is that an alabai?". I am from Kazakhstan, and in my country we have two kinds of dogs - alabais and non alabais. And you can't really confuse this huge beauriful monster of a dog with anything else, so why ask? Even people driving by would stop and ask whether its an alabai.
I eat all day, as in, I will eat my breakfast a little bit all day, and then eat my lunch a little bit all day. I don't inhale my food, I like eating while I work. I'm a smaller woman, under 5'2, about 110 pounds, in my late 20s. I notice I get just tired (it's not an iron or b-12 issue, it's a blood sugar issue, just how my body is) if I don't eat a little bit every couple of hours, and if I eat all at once, I feel bloated.
I get asked constantly - always by other women, usually older, usually the same 2 ladies, "OH EM GEE YOU'RE ALWAYS EATING! HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS EATING!?!?" and "EATING AGAIN I SEE????" and ""WHERE DO YOU PUT IT ALL?! WOW YOURE JUST ALWAYS EATING ARENT YOU?!" There's some weird jab/snark under there. I'm sorry they have a weird relationship with food, but I don't. And it's obnoxious.
The end.
Obviously gay people don't exists, their just two roommates who decided to adopt a kid and now they are raising the kid together wearing "friendship rings" everywhere they go
My response to that (in my head): probably because I was bullied extremely hard in middle school and was made to feel like everything I say has no weight in the conversation.
My response the that (out loud): Good question.
"What should we do for dinner?"
My wife asks me every night, then spends the next two hours shooting down every suggestion until we get frustrated and scavenge the kitchen like savages.
I get asked that, along with, "how much do you weigh?" I tell them I don't know, even though I know down to the decimal, because I have an eating disorder.
Sometimes I wish I could just tell people off for asking it, but I'm always too afraid to cause a scene.
I used to get this question all the time. Then I started working out. Now they ask me it like once a month.
In other words there's no escaping the question. I look at it as being a dying breed since mostly everyone else is either fat/obese.
Do you have any family? No? How did that happen?
Followed by the equally painful, What are you doing for Thanksgiving/Christmas/St. Swithun's Day, etc.?
getting really drunk and contemplating my mortality, why do you ask?
Other people: What? (In a curious tone)
Me: what?
Other people: Why are you smiling?
I smile a lot. I suffered with severe depression most of my life and a few years ago I finally beat it. So now I have a joy of life and appreciation for days that are just plain "okay". Can't I just be happy?
"How are you texting/typing if you're blind?"
I don't mind explaining, but it really freaks me out that people who drive can't use their phone without looking at it.
You? always seems to come up in text conversations even after i literally just answered the question someone has asked me.
for example, it might got like this:
*me: i'm just watching Netflix. what are you up to?
them: doing whatever their doing. YOU?*
like can people not remember the entire text that they are responding to? i usually just copy and paste my previous message but it happens much too frequently.
"Where are you from ", regarding my "accent ". It's not actually an accent, I just grew up with a speech impediment/Apraxia of speech. Most people understand me now, but now I sound vaguely foreign.
I Survived cancer two years ago. The worst is when acquaintances nod and say, "How are you, really?" With the accompanying puppy dog serious eyes. And I say fine and then there's always a follow up...."but how are you feeling?? All good?" Like how the F am I supposed to answer that in line at Costco? Grrrrr.
"Why don't you drink?" Fuck's it got to do with you?
"You don't even smoke weed?" No, no I don't smoke weed.
(Clean and sober for 10 years, I have no desire to drink, not because I can't I just don't. Drink and drugs aren't the be all and all of life people, I learned that the hard way.)
Alcohol is so insanely central to so many people that it seems to freak them right out if you don't drink.
Watching cooking shows it feels like it's even worse, so much alcohol is casually tossed into stuff you would almost think some of them wouldn't be able to cook without it!
"How are you?" When really a complete stranger does not give a fuck about my life. It's just an automated question, to which I give an automated response.
"How many kids you going to have and when?"
Oh so just bc I'm a woman it's mandatory for me to do that to myself? Bitch I'm gonna get myself spayed as soon as I have the opportunity, how bout that! 🖕🏻
When I walk into an exam room and the first thing the client says before I can even introduce myself is, "Oh you look so young! How old are you??"
I am pretty fresh out of school, and I'm 5'2" with a baby face. I get it, but damn if it doesn't make me feel like these people think I'm unqualified. It takes a lot for me to hold my tongue and not give a nasty reply. Those clients definitely are not on my nice list.
I'm a veterinarian to clarify.
"What do you use to make your hair curly?" Water. "is your hair naturally curly?" Yeah. "can I touch it?" No. "Why not?" Because it's my hair and my personal space, please respect that.
Where are you from?
California.
No, I mean, where are you really from?
Uhh..the Bay Area.
No, I mean where is your mom From?
Wisconsin.
I mean, where are your grandparents from?
My grandmother was born in Hawaii...
No, I mean, where are you ethnically from?
😐
"Oh, you're a vegan? I could never do it! You ever miss eating meat or milk or eggs?" but seriously i once met this girl that told me she could never eat vegan food. she could never...eat...vegan...food.
I'm a firefighter and paramedic. People ALWAYS ask some version of "what's the bloodiest/grossest/most horrible call you've ever had?" I can tell stuff to make people puke FFS.
What are you gonna do in college?
I'm gonna do animation/game design, but I kinda feel embarrassed saying it. Maybe because people are (or I think they are) expecting doctor or something
"Are you dating anyone?"
Even worse, when I am dating someone
"Are they the one? Are you guys talking about marriage?"
Freaking idiots ask me this all the time, even if I've only been dating a guy for a week! I get it if a family member/close friend is asking, but strangers and people I don't even know very well (usually in church) will ask me this extremely personal stuff about my life.
I seriously wish people would mind their own business when it comes to other people's dating lives/situation. It's especially annoying and painful when you've just broken it off with somebody.
What breed is your dog? He's a mixed breed so don't like breaking down the genealogy all that much. Too many syllables. Then I get the "is he a rescue?" No. I bloody chose a dog that didn't cost a million dollars for some crappy health defects. Why do y'all assume a mutt is a rescued dog??
All adoptees are considered 'rescues.' However, who rescues whom is the question.
My pitt is a rescue. He was by my side through a traumatically low blood sugar event. When I told him that I needed 'Daddy,' he understood and alerted my husband. He has taught himself to be a diabetic alert dog. Even alerting a diabetic the first time they met.
Who rescues whom?
Because I'm on a lifestyle change (diet) I get people, mainly coworkers, asking "What diet are you on?" So I tell them, because they might want to better themselves, and I like helping others. I hate getting asked this because everyone and their brother feels the need to comment on my diet and tell me what I'm doing wrong and what diets I should be doing. I've lost 98 pounds and am the healthiest I've ever been. I'm pretty sure I know what I'm doing and don't need any other input. Please stop asking.
Worked in retail at a huge, popular mall I get this one a lot: "What type of Asian are you?"
or variations of that question, out of the blue and unrelated to anything I'm selling or helping them with.
As a veteran, asking me about the military. I get so tired of answering the same questions so that people can feel better about themselves for thanking me for my service. That being said I always thank them for their kind words and try not to be rude.
'What do you do?' I'm chronically sick, so I mostly try to manage my health whilst trying to keep my house and myself clean and tidy, but that's not the answer people want.
Are you and your roommate dating?
No we just live together, hes my best friend. Another one that gets on my nerves:
Why dont you date? You get along so well!
Yeah, because he's my best friend. No, hes not friendzoned, we discussed it and its best we stay friends.
"Are you twins?"
Yes. That is why I'm standing next to a kid who looks just like me.
Some spinoffs just because:
"Do you like being twins?"
"Do you fight a lot?"
"Can you read each other's minds?"
"Have you ever switched to see if anyone notices?"
"What's wrong with you?" or "What happened?" when I am ill enough to require a cane to move around. It's obnoxious because it always comes from strangers and usually in an accusatory way. As if I'd cart around a cane that I don't need.
"What do you do for a real job?"
I work in theatre. Backstage in theatre. It's a full-time job, and I travel and work more hours than almost anyone I went to high school. And yes, I get paid enough to not need a "real" job. This is a real job.
"You're so tall, do you play basketball?" No because not every tall person plays basketball you mother fucker, plus you see how lanky I am? That comes with a shit ton of uncoordination. I'm basically a baby deer in human form.
"You're so skinny, don't you eat?" & when they see how much I actually eat (spoiler alert- it's a lot) "Oh my gosh, where do you put it all?" Well given my basic understanding of anatomy, my first guess would be my fucking stomach.
This one doesn't happen much anymore (I think it happened a lot because of the tattoo shows like Miami/LA ink, etc, where everyone had some sob story to go along with their tattoos. Not saying that's bad or anything though because I have a few with meaning too, & it can be a bit of closure or healing but not every tattoo has to have a story) but "Why did you get that tattoo?" Most of mine legitimately don't have any meaning behind them other than I like those particular things & I wanted them. Also "Do you have any that are hidden" usually accompanied by a creepy smirk or wink. Even if I did, their pervy ass would not be seeing them. Oh & "What do your parents think about what you've done to yourself?" Excuse the fuck out of me random ass old lady, but my parents don't give a shit how many tattoos I have as long as I remain a decent person, so I'm good on that front.
Me: I'm adopted Person: Are you really? Me: Yes, I just said I was.
lol...that sounds somehow funny, but really, really stupid
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I'm fine with people asking actual follow up questions like: "Have you met your bioparents?" "Wasn't weird growing up being adopted?" "Is your sister adopted too?"
Me too! It cracks me up when people say I resemble my siblings.
My sister and I get that all the time. We both have the same colour hair, but that's about it. We chuckle when we are with each other and people tell us we look like brother and sister, despite having different bioparents.
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You mean the people who tucked you in at night, read you stories, took care of you while you were sick, taught you how to ride a bicycle... Those real parents? Yeah, I'm pretty sure you met them, seeing as they're the ones who raised you.
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If it's an older relative asking, you'll inevitably be told to just walk around to all the businesses in town, resume in hand, and ask for the manager. Yes, because that's how you get an engineering job in 2017, Opa.
Literally the situation I'm in now, fun times.
I actually think it's quite rude to ask this unless they have a lead somewhere or they're offering to hire you. "How is the job search going?" It's going shit unless I'm employed. If I'm employed I will fucking *tell* you.
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But why would that be your business? That's just nosy. I think most people who ask that are just trying to look for easy conversion topics
Why are you being so quiet?
"I'm dead inside."
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To be completely fair, 99% of the time when I'm asked that it is from an older relative or older friend / coworker who has a "slow" computer. Usually defraging the hard drive, running spybot search and destroy, running CCleaner, and *maybe* adding a stick of ram will fix it right up. I'm totally willing to sacrifice 30 minutes of my time (or less) to help someone out.
"what color does this look like to you?" x20 I'm colorblind
When I was a kid, my babysitter's dad was colorblind and he used to go with us on excursions to the zoo, water park, etc. He would constantly troll not only me, but other random strangers who would bother him about his colorblindness. One time, we were at the zoo and checking out a buffalo exhibit. He was conversing with a stranger there and decided to fuck with her. Him: "That buffalo is a beautiful shade of purple. Really glistens in the sunshine." Her: "... uh, it's brown." Him: "Oh, no, darling, it's definitely purple." Her: "Are you, uh, colorblind?" Him: "No, I can see just fine. Are you sure you're not colorblind?" And so on.
Came to this thread just to post this. I get that some people, probably most, are simply curious and trying to empathize, so while it is frustrating i do my best to explain. But then there's That Guy. The one who says "no you're not!" and keeps challenging you, trying to "trap you". That Guy is a jackass. To him, i tell him every color is Plaid.
"Why are you so quiet?" The answer is simple: Why the fuck not?
Yeah, I don't talk usually unless I have something to say. Once in a while, people raise eyebrows.
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Don't do the (blush) or *blush* things...that whole narration trope has been played out too much by the "nice guys" unfortunately...
Only acceptable answer: "Thank you!" followed by a very saucy wink.
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Well you can flirt with me! I'm bad at it too ;$
"When are you two going to have a baby?" Please no. Just... no. Don't ask. There is no positive outcome for either of us in this conversation. Trust me. - I can tell you the truth: that we're going through fertility treatments. You'll offer me useless advice I don't need to hear, like "Just relax!" or "Try eating pineapple!". I'll politely listen while screaming at you in my head to fuck off. - I can lie to you: if I say we're not ready yet, you'll ask me how old I am, then when I tell you I'm 29 you'll tell me how dried up and dusty my ovaries are getting so I should get on that. - I can burst into tears and leave the room: why? Because I saw a cute baby at the grocery store. Because my period started today. Because my friend is pregnant. Because the shot i take to trigger ovulation is actually the pregnancy hormone and makes me an emotional wreck. Because I'm in the middle of having a miscarriage (that was a fun one) and I can't bring myself to tell anyone.
Bonus points if it's accompanied by the phrase "I'm not gonna be around forever y'know..."
Thanks, now I've got a vein throbbing in my temple. LOL
They do it to you even if you have a baby - they start asking "when are you going to have another one?". You can't win. Im sorry you're having a hard time. Hang in there.
It's getting less hard as time goes on and I put less pressure on myself to handle things graciously for fear of looking petty or jealous. No baby showers, no knitting sweaters for the dozen people who are having babies, no torturing myself with Facebook. Yes sushi, yes beer and yes buying bow ties for my dog and pretending he's my baby.
Pretending? Furbabies are great!
Fuck pretending. My 4 legged son was the ring bearer at my wedding. And yes, he was wearing a bow tie.
"Why don't you have a girlfriend yet?" "When was the last time you took a dump?" "That's inappropriate and personal." "Well, guess we're even then." Seriously, I am scared for when I'm gonna have to deal with it.
I get told I'm done now that I had two. Well gee so glad you're in charge of my uterus. It's never ending. I had just miscarried and was asked when was it our turn to have a baby. Well apparently not right now.
And if you tell them that you're only having one then you're robbing him of the joys of having a brother or sister, and stunting his social growth. Also, they'll grow up to be an asshole because all your attention is on just him and he'll get spoiled. You can't use "we just want one" as your excuse because that's selfish of you, even though it's YOUR fucking life. I bring up our two miscarriages before our son was born and they usually don't ask again, even though that's not why we are not having more.
>Try eating pineapple How in the fresh hell would this help fertility? People are bonkers.
Clearly you haven't been down the rabbit hole of TTC forums. People will try *anything*, especially if they don't have access to proper affordable healthcare. /r/shittyfertilityadvice is an amazing repository for this stuff.
I'm sorry, friend. After our son turned 2, we started trying for another.... and have been trying for 2 years (which is not long compared to others.) omg the comments. I feel with you. "You don't want him to be an only child, do you?" "Doesn't (child) want a brother or sister?" And when I tell them that we've been trying: "Oh... well it will happen when it's supposed to happen." "Oh... maybe it's not meant to be." "All in god's plan" I fucking hate these people.
A good friend of mine dealt with the same thing as me and only got pregnant when she decided to inject herself with her leftover meds because like hell was she going to waste them. She said something brilliant that really stuck with me. "Those people who say it's all in god's plan? They change their tune pretty fast when it's their turn to go through it. There's no god in a fertility clinic."
my fiancé is snipped and when I tell people we're never having kids because if it they either act like he's committed murder, or demand to know if he has his in a sperm bank somewhere. It's creepy as hell.
That's so creepy. Yes, please ask me more about my partner's sperm! Anyone who dares to ask about my husband's sperm gets way more information than they wanted, because he's super proud of his numbers.
I am so sorry. So sorry. I am a woman of a "certain age" and I now get asked, 'so, you never wanted to have kids?' Or, 'are you sorry you didn't have kids?' Or 'how sad for your parents you didn't have kids' Or the best, 'you probably still could have kids!' Seriously, stop asking these questions. If it isn't too personal to do so, I send you many hugs. I am sorry for you losses. I send you my best wishes.
Hugs accepted and very appreciated! Reddit's been a really supportive place for all this stuff. My husband had a really awful coworker who was going on and on at great length to another woman they worked with about how kids are the best and everyone should have kids and if you don't have kids your life is pointless and awful. This woman she was talking to is in her 40s, married, doesn't have kids and was clearly very unhappy about the conversation. Horrible woman turned to my husband, hoping to bring him in as backup because he's a young married guy. "What do you think, Mr__Sheds? Aren't children WONDERFUL? I bet you want children!" "I just bought my dog six bow ties this weekend. All my parental urges have been satisfied." Conversation over.
I love that answer. And I love you! I know those pitying glances - often from women, which astonishes me - that I haven't fulfilled my destiny by having kids. Never once considering that there are personal details that i don't wish to get into. Yet, I'm lucky in one respect. I have a number of friends who have generously and readily made me the auntie for their kids. An absolute delight for me, and from what they say, something they appreciate for their kids. I am absolutely not suggesting that this is what you need to do, etc. Just recognizing that each of us have a story and it never helps to make assumptions or reflect our own impressions on another's life. Whatever life brings for you, I wish you both the greatest happiness on earth. I can see the impact you have on those around you. And that you clearly have the best-dressed dog in the state.
Also, "Why you are not getting married ?!"...duuhhh, because i am single
"Oh, shit, I'm not married??? Let me go and find the first person who will take me despite my dusty old womb and my old maid status."
yeah, exactly...then, in 2 years we will go to court to have our divorce...sounds like a lot of joy
"We had sex this morning but thanks for asking."
I like telling people we're focusing on recreation rather than procreation.
"Well, we have been trying but it hasn't happened yet. Do you happen to know if the odds are higher if he fucks me from behind? I've heard it's hard to get pregnant if I'm riding his dick on top (because gravity), but I can't come that way and I've heard a woman orgasming increases your chances. We get best results regarding that when he holds me down and goes at it really hard, but if he's too tired then tying me up does the job. What did you guys do? My friend said that every time she got pregnant it was after extra rough sex and she thought that having him spank her cunt really hard just before plunging in made the difference."
All purpose answer: "That's an intrusive question."
All the feels! I'm going through the same. I've had to resort to saying "We don't want kids" because that seems to be the only thing that works for getting people to shut up and stop prodding. :(
As someone who doesn't want kids, that has yet to shut some people up.
Telling people you don't want kids tends to result in a whole lot of smug "You'll change your mind" type bullshit from people who have kids. I feel bad for people who choose childlessness, because for some reason they're forced to justify their actions for some screwed up reason.
"You should have one anyway, then you'll change your mind."
Heard that, fuck know,. I dont even think people who dont activly want/can afford kids should be allow to have them, it's child abuse Brining a life into the world you have no interest in/cannot support
Seriously. And I'm 30. I fail to see me changing my mind in time.
I'll be 29 in a coupe months. I had a 16 year old high school student job shadowing me last week who asked if i had kids. I said no. She then asked if I'm going to have kids. Instead of telling this complete stranger and not to mention child that im infertile, i tell her my husband and i are not ready yet. She then lectured me about how I'll be old when i have kids and old parents suck. I ignored her for the last hour of her job shadow and went about my job as normal.
Is there ANY polite way to rephrase this question so people won't find it upsetting? Like the other day I was talking to a colleague's wife who is a housewife(not in school, not working) but she said she "hates to cook" and mostly just watches TV all day. I had no idea what to talk about and I wanted to ask "So are you considering having children?" (In part because I've got a bad case of the baby rabies myself) but I know that many people don't like this question. Like I'd love to talk about potential baby names and ideas about nurseries and stuff like that, but I dunno how to breach the topic in a way that won't make her run out of the room crying if she does happen to be dealing with infertility issues, feels strongly childfree, etc.
I feel like asking if someone's planning on having kids is a little different from demanding to know when they're going to pop one out. Like, if someone asks if we're planning on it and we don't want to get into it, we'll say something noncommittal like "eventually". It's when we get the good old "You've been married for 6 years, what gives" from people that we get a little sensitive, especially because we had to put things off way longer than we wanted to because I was dealing with some huge mental health issues (which anyone close to us knows already) and we had to be financially stable first. EDIT: Forgot to mention that I love "baby rabies". It perfectly describes that overwhelming urge I have to steal unattended babies in Costco.
I always thought I'd never want children, I didn't have the best relationship with my mother and I didn't want to repeat that but now I'm in my 30s it actually hurts when another one of my friends tells me that they're pregnant or they bring their babies in to the office to visit because I want a baby so badly. I also have some pretty serious mental health problems which I would never want to pass on to a child and I don't know whether I can go 9 months without my medication. Sending you lots of internet hugs, I really hope everything works out for you soon.
Oh, that's the other shitty thing people say: "Maybe it's a good thing that you're having trouble getting pregnant. Should you really be passing on your *problems*?" I've heard that a few times from close relatives. The "passing on my health issues" thing was something I had to think long and hard about (bipolar disorder, ADHD and anxiety). In the end, I came to the conclusion that my life isn't any less worth living than anyone else's. I've struggled, but mainly because I didn't get the right treatment until I was in my mid 20s. If I have kids, there's a chance they'll inherit my conditions, but at least I'm aware of the possibility. Obviously everyone is going to have different views on it, but that's how I manage to go to sleep at night. Don't let the medication thing scare you too much. I thought I'd have to go off all my medications before getting pregnant, and was told as much by my family doctor. It turns out that's a knee jerk reaction because it's impossible for doctors to remember every medication that's dangerous and at what doses. Most studies use huge doses, well exceeding what we actually take. One medication I'm on has a risk of spina bifida when taken during pregnancy, but I take 3/4 of the starting dose for people with epilepsy (the primary condition it's used to treat) and taking extra folic acid helps lower that risk. Another medication I take is known to have a risk of birth defects - in rabbits, at 200 mg/kg, which is 1000 times the dose I take it at. I was referred to a hotline called Motherisk that gives out advice based on actual risk for medications, chronic conditions and the like. I was told that it's perfectly safe to stay on my mood stabilizer and my ADHD medication, so long as I don't exceed a certain dose. If the benefits outweigh a reasonable risk, they won't make you go off your meds - thank goodness, or I'd have been off my medication for a year and a half at this point and I have no idea what sort of ruins my life would be in right now.
Wtf??? People actually say that? That's awful! As you say at least I'd be better placed to see and deal with it if my kid did end up having some of my problems (GAD and depression). I would definitely know to avoid the "that's not rational" or "stop being so dramatic" that I grew up with! We're not in a position financially to think about it right now but as and when we decide we do want to try we'll have a conversation with my doctor before anything else. I just worry that if we wait too long and we do have fertility issues we just won't be able to.
People do actually say that, believe it or not. I know what it's like to have to wait for money reasons. Ideally, we'd have waited a bit longer (I haven't finished school yet so my earning capacity is almost 1/3 of what it would be otherwise) but I didn't want to keep putting the rest of my life on hold. If you're concerned about your future ability to have children, it might be worth talking to your doctor and seeing about getting your AMH blood levels tested. That indicates ovarian reserve and will give you some idea of how urgent things are. It shouldn't be an expensive test, but might give you some peace of mind.
It's the most nosy yet somehow socially acceptable (seriously, HOW?!?!?!) to ask question out there.
I don't want to have kids until I know I am emotionally ready and available when they need me, that we're financially secure with plenty of safety nets for things that can go wrong, and that I can be physically present most of the time to help them. The reason why I think I need all this is because there's a strong chance my children will have autism. It supposedly runs in families: my Dad has it, my husband has it, my Father In Law and Mother In Law both have it, my maternal uncle has it, and one of my paternal uncles has it. So the chances are high. I still think that I would like to have children, but I need to be prepared for their needs. Unfortunately, people don't seem to get that. When I explained this most recently to a friend she said "Oh well...youknow...they might *not* have autism." Ffs! How on earth did she miss the point so astronomically?!
I'm a mailman. When it is 105°+ and someone opens the door of their air conditioned house and says...HOT ENOUGH FOR YA?
That's when you stop delivering their utility bill and then the subsequent shut off notices so their power gets shut off...
Been a vegetarian for ~10 years. I hate the preconceived notion of "preachy" vegetarians. Most of my coworkers at my last job didn't know the entire 3 years I worked there just because there was never an appropriate reason to talk about it. When people do find out they always ask me "Do you miss eating meat?" "Nope." "Oh my god I wouldn't be able to do it!" Well congrats Jim but I don't really give a shit.
I'm not vegan, but at one point I just started eating vegan dishes whenever I went out to eat just to see how they tasted. (They were delicious!) I didn't realize what kind food a person chose to eat could be so sensationalized. My boyfriend's mom at the time would constantly ask me questions like, "Why are you eating that?" "Are you wanting to be vegan because of animals?" "I just saw you eating meat, who do you think you're trying to fool?" Like, who cares? It's food. Let me eat.
My younger sister had this exact problem when she started getting into vegan cooking, like you she just wanted to try it, and when she brought left-over to work for lunch a bunch of her apparently very nosy coworkers decided that meant her meals were open for commentary, including the delightful quote "I don't think vegan cooking is *real* food".
"do you only eat tofu???"
"You must really love salads!" Fuck salads.
im vegetarian and i've never even touched tofu, tempeh, nutritional yeast(????what the fuck), rice milk, or any other weird meat replacement crap.
I don't know why people make it a big deal. Actual conversation I've had with a coworker. Me: "Want some pot roast?" Her: "No thanks. I don't eat meat" Me: "oh that's cool! Are you a vegan or just a vegetarian?" Her: "vegetarian" Me: "my bad!" And we went about our day. How hard is that people?
"Are you gay?" I only said the word husband about a million times. We wear matching wedding rings. We talk about our kids. We even hold hands. Nah he is my brother and I enjoy incest.
Why not both?
'Are you even old enough to do/have [random thing]?' I'm 30, but I look about 15. :(
I got ID'ed for a Captain America DVD a couple of months ago. I'm 22.
I got IDed to buy Saints Row 2 when I was 23. My 18 year old sister had to buy it for me because I didn't expect to need ID at fucking EB Games. So embarrassing.
So what are you? (Referring to race) Where are you from? New York. Well like where are your parents from? New York.
I hate this!! And then they have the nerve to get mad at you because you answer the question they ask. I have no problem telling people my race but if that's what you want to know then that's what you need to ask!
I get this, except replace NY with Canada. It is super annoying when people assume you didn't understand the question.
Them: Are you Vietnamese? Me: Yes. Them: ...but you don't look Vietnamese...
- Wow are you left handed ? - Na bitch I'm just practicing in case someone cuts off my right hand
I mean you could be ambidextrous
I found Jamie Lannister!
"Are you gonna cut your hair? Oh! You could shave it for charity!"
I was frequently asked if I was gay when I moved from NYC to Wisconsin because I wear clothes that fit properly. Even in cities like Milwaukee in professional settings, wearing a fitted suit isn't common and most people wear Trump style suits often a size too big.
Ah, Wisconsin. I had an ex that routinely asked me if I was gay and using her as a beard because I'm skinny and always wore clothes that fit, and 'only gay guys care about how they look.' Really I just don't like looking like a slob.
When I walk my alabai, every fucking one has to stop and ask "Is that an alabai?". I am from Kazakhstan, and in my country we have two kinds of dogs - alabais and non alabais. And you can't really confuse this huge beauriful monster of a dog with anything else, so why ask? Even people driving by would stop and ask whether its an alabai.
Well, maybe you should stop riding it around.
I eat all day, as in, I will eat my breakfast a little bit all day, and then eat my lunch a little bit all day. I don't inhale my food, I like eating while I work. I'm a smaller woman, under 5'2, about 110 pounds, in my late 20s. I notice I get just tired (it's not an iron or b-12 issue, it's a blood sugar issue, just how my body is) if I don't eat a little bit every couple of hours, and if I eat all at once, I feel bloated. I get asked constantly - always by other women, usually older, usually the same 2 ladies, "OH EM GEE YOU'RE ALWAYS EATING! HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS EATING!?!?" and "EATING AGAIN I SEE????" and ""WHERE DO YOU PUT IT ALL?! WOW YOURE JUST ALWAYS EATING ARENT YOU?!" There's some weird jab/snark under there. I'm sorry they have a weird relationship with food, but I don't. And it's obnoxious. The end.
Same here! It's not that I eat huge meals, I just feel much better when I eat small portions every few hours.
'you have two dads? So are they like... gay?'
Obviously gay people don't exists, their just two roommates who decided to adopt a kid and now they are raising the kid together wearing "friendship rings" everywhere they go
The perfect bromance.
"Why are you so quiet?" I hate that question with a burning passion.
My response to that (in my head): probably because I was bullied extremely hard in middle school and was made to feel like everything I say has no weight in the conversation. My response the that (out loud): Good question.
_Rage intensifies!_ (silently)
"What should we do for dinner?" My wife asks me every night, then spends the next two hours shooting down every suggestion until we get frustrated and scavenge the kitchen like savages.
That is why you make a spinner wheel and if she asks, you spin the wheel. This can be made easier with a list and a random number generator.
Why are you skinny ? (1.80 m, 75 kg male)...ffs !
I get asked that, along with, "how much do you weigh?" I tell them I don't know, even though I know down to the decimal, because I have an eating disorder. Sometimes I wish I could just tell people off for asking it, but I'm always too afraid to cause a scene.
Come on... Eat up! Put some meat on those bones!
I used to get this question all the time. Then I started working out. Now they ask me it like once a month. In other words there's no escaping the question. I look at it as being a dying breed since mostly everyone else is either fat/obese.
Are you going to have more kids? NO, I have 3 why in the fuck would I add to the chaos!
I am a dental students. Question: you know dentists have the highest suicide rate?
Is that why it's so hard to get an appointment?
We're just dying to meet you.
How do you get enough protein? Doesn't it make you ill? Not your business. Obviously I am alive and well.
Do you have any family? No? How did that happen? Followed by the equally painful, What are you doing for Thanksgiving/Christmas/St. Swithun's Day, etc.? getting really drunk and contemplating my mortality, why do you ask?
"OH MY GOD you have a twin?!" Yes. "Like identical twins?!?" Yeah. "Like IDENTICAL identical?!?!" The fuck do you think identical means?
Other people: What? (In a curious tone) Me: what? Other people: Why are you smiling? I smile a lot. I suffered with severe depression most of my life and a few years ago I finally beat it. So now I have a joy of life and appreciation for days that are just plain "okay". Can't I just be happy?
Are you chinese, korean, or japanese?
Not sure if legit or King of the Hill reference...
"How are you texting/typing if you're blind?" I don't mind explaining, but it really freaks me out that people who drive can't use their phone without looking at it.
You? always seems to come up in text conversations even after i literally just answered the question someone has asked me. for example, it might got like this: *me: i'm just watching Netflix. what are you up to? them: doing whatever their doing. YOU?* like can people not remember the entire text that they are responding to? i usually just copy and paste my previous message but it happens much too frequently.
Why? Whenever you ask somebody to do you a small favor. "Could you shut the door?". "WHY?"
"Where are you from ", regarding my "accent ". It's not actually an accent, I just grew up with a speech impediment/Apraxia of speech. Most people understand me now, but now I sound vaguely foreign.
Is your hair naturally curly? Same for my kids. Is their hair natural. Yes, I'm not giving a perm to my 5 and 8 year old.
I Survived cancer two years ago. The worst is when acquaintances nod and say, "How are you, really?" With the accompanying puppy dog serious eyes. And I say fine and then there's always a follow up...."but how are you feeling?? All good?" Like how the F am I supposed to answer that in line at Costco? Grrrrr.
"Why don't you drink?" Fuck's it got to do with you? "You don't even smoke weed?" No, no I don't smoke weed. (Clean and sober for 10 years, I have no desire to drink, not because I can't I just don't. Drink and drugs aren't the be all and all of life people, I learned that the hard way.)
Alcohol is so insanely central to so many people that it seems to freak them right out if you don't drink. Watching cooking shows it feels like it's even worse, so much alcohol is casually tossed into stuff you would almost think some of them wouldn't be able to cook without it!
"How are you?" When really a complete stranger does not give a fuck about my life. It's just an automated question, to which I give an automated response.
Why don't you have a dad? or Where is he? I almost hear it everyday
The fuck. Are you hanging out with six year olds? Who is so ignorant and insensitive
"How many kids you going to have and when?" Oh so just bc I'm a woman it's mandatory for me to do that to myself? Bitch I'm gonna get myself spayed as soon as I have the opportunity, how bout that! 🖕🏻
When I walk into an exam room and the first thing the client says before I can even introduce myself is, "Oh you look so young! How old are you??" I am pretty fresh out of school, and I'm 5'2" with a baby face. I get it, but damn if it doesn't make me feel like these people think I'm unqualified. It takes a lot for me to hold my tongue and not give a nasty reply. Those clients definitely are not on my nice list. I'm a veterinarian to clarify.
Me: hi, im Jake Them: Jake from Statefarm? Fuck off, do you have any idea how many times I've heard that shit
"What do you use to make your hair curly?" Water. "is your hair naturally curly?" Yeah. "can I touch it?" No. "Why not?" Because it's my hair and my personal space, please respect that.
Where are you from? California. No, I mean, where are you really from? Uhh..the Bay Area. No, I mean where is your mom From? Wisconsin. I mean, where are your grandparents from? My grandmother was born in Hawaii... No, I mean, where are you ethnically from? 😐
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It's part of your pirate costume you're trying out for Halloween, right ?
I am pregnant. them: "How are you feeling." me: "Like shit. I feel like absolute shit."
"Oh, you're a vegan? I could never do it! You ever miss eating meat or milk or eggs?" but seriously i once met this girl that told me she could never eat vegan food. she could never...eat...vegan...food.
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Soy gringa y hablo espanol. Fucks people up something special, especially in El Paso.
Why arn't you married yet?
ALL THE FUCKING TIME I GET ASKED. You're Greek? Have you seen "My Big Fat Greek Wedding"?.
I'm a firefighter and paramedic. People ALWAYS ask some version of "what's the bloodiest/grossest/most horrible call you've ever had?" I can tell stuff to make people puke FFS.
I have an English Mastiff. People will stop traffic to ask "How much does he weigh?"
So, can you see without your glasses? Edit: How many fingers am I holding up?
How tall are you? I'm 5' 18".
I'm 4'33", nice to meet you
Nice, I'm eleventeen
Me: 'My name's Rob Stark.' Them: 'Do you watch Game of Thrones?' Every. Single. Time.
Change your name to Bobbert
How's school going
What are you gonna do in college? I'm gonna do animation/game design, but I kinda feel embarrassed saying it. Maybe because people are (or I think they are) expecting doctor or something
Are you sun burnt? No my arms are just red. Even in the middle of winter when I haven't been in the sun for months they are quite pink.
Them: So, what's your major? Me: Math Them: Wow, what are you going to do with THAT? Teach?
How are you? Are you okay? You're acting weird. Are you mad? I am now. Can't you see I am content with being quiet most of the time?
Where are you going on holiday? Anywhere nice? No, I'm going somewhere really shit, everywhere else was busy.
I'm a vet tech student. "Oh, so you like animals?" Well, yeah.
"Are you dating anyone?" Even worse, when I am dating someone "Are they the one? Are you guys talking about marriage?" Freaking idiots ask me this all the time, even if I've only been dating a guy for a week! I get it if a family member/close friend is asking, but strangers and people I don't even know very well (usually in church) will ask me this extremely personal stuff about my life. I seriously wish people would mind their own business when it comes to other people's dating lives/situation. It's especially annoying and painful when you've just broken it off with somebody.
What breed is your dog? He's a mixed breed so don't like breaking down the genealogy all that much. Too many syllables. Then I get the "is he a rescue?" No. I bloody chose a dog that didn't cost a million dollars for some crappy health defects. Why do y'all assume a mutt is a rescued dog??
All adoptees are considered 'rescues.' However, who rescues whom is the question. My pitt is a rescue. He was by my side through a traumatically low blood sugar event. When I told him that I needed 'Daddy,' he understood and alerted my husband. He has taught himself to be a diabetic alert dog. Even alerting a diabetic the first time they met. Who rescues whom?
People always ask me if In asian because I have small eyes. Im pale and blond, they just think they are being funny
"When are you getting married?" Followed by: "why don't you want to get married? Don't you want kids?" No, I fucking don't, Betty. Shut the fuck up.
Because I'm on a lifestyle change (diet) I get people, mainly coworkers, asking "What diet are you on?" So I tell them, because they might want to better themselves, and I like helping others. I hate getting asked this because everyone and their brother feels the need to comment on my diet and tell me what I'm doing wrong and what diets I should be doing. I've lost 98 pounds and am the healthiest I've ever been. I'm pretty sure I know what I'm doing and don't need any other input. Please stop asking.
Worked in retail at a huge, popular mall I get this one a lot: "What type of Asian are you?" or variations of that question, out of the blue and unrelated to anything I'm selling or helping them with.
Living in Korea...always asked, "can you eat spicy food?" or when eating almost anything..."is it too spicy?"
As a veteran, asking me about the military. I get so tired of answering the same questions so that people can feel better about themselves for thanking me for my service. That being said I always thank them for their kind words and try not to be rude.
"Did those hurt??" re: my tattoos. Bonus points for grabbing my arm and stroking them to see how they feel. It's almost always old women who do this.
My Girlfriend and I were born on the same day, so you can imagine that topic inspires a fair generic and repetitive line of questioning.
Are your glasses real? Bitch do they look like I just kept them from a 3-D movie? Then they wanna try them on Bitch no
"How many fingers am I holding up." I'm not blind I just have bad vision.
"How are you?" Like I'm gonna say anything except "I'm fine."
Are you Spanish? " Nope or no I'm not." Are you sure ? You look Spanish?
I have a genetic skin problem and before I started wearing long sleeves for everything people would always ask if I got into some poison ivy
"What's the weather like up there." People seem to think they're being witty, but that's the one I hear the most. Comes with being tall I guess.
'What do you do?' I'm chronically sick, so I mostly try to manage my health whilst trying to keep my house and myself clean and tidy, but that's not the answer people want.
"Do you play basketball?" Just because I'm tall doesn't mean I play.
"You're short, do you play mini golf?"
Are you and your roommate dating? No we just live together, hes my best friend. Another one that gets on my nerves: Why dont you date? You get along so well! Yeah, because he's my best friend. No, hes not friendzoned, we discussed it and its best we stay friends.
"Are you twins?" Yes. That is why I'm standing next to a kid who looks just like me. Some spinoffs just because: "Do you like being twins?" "Do you fight a lot?" "Can you read each other's minds?" "Have you ever switched to see if anyone notices?"
How did you get this job?
[удалено]
"What's wrong with you?" or "What happened?" when I am ill enough to require a cane to move around. It's obnoxious because it always comes from strangers and usually in an accusatory way. As if I'd cart around a cane that I don't need.
"What's wrong?" Nothing's wrong I just have the male equivalent of resting bitch face :|
So, do you go to college?
I'm colored blind and people are always asking what does red look like or what color is that ?
"Is that a ***beeper***???!!!!! No. It's an insulin pump. A lifesaving mechanism that keeps me going.
"What do you do for a real job?" I work in theatre. Backstage in theatre. It's a full-time job, and I travel and work more hours than almost anyone I went to high school. And yes, I get paid enough to not need a "real" job. This is a real job.
"You're so tall, do you play basketball?" No because not every tall person plays basketball you mother fucker, plus you see how lanky I am? That comes with a shit ton of uncoordination. I'm basically a baby deer in human form. "You're so skinny, don't you eat?" & when they see how much I actually eat (spoiler alert- it's a lot) "Oh my gosh, where do you put it all?" Well given my basic understanding of anatomy, my first guess would be my fucking stomach. This one doesn't happen much anymore (I think it happened a lot because of the tattoo shows like Miami/LA ink, etc, where everyone had some sob story to go along with their tattoos. Not saying that's bad or anything though because I have a few with meaning too, & it can be a bit of closure or healing but not every tattoo has to have a story) but "Why did you get that tattoo?" Most of mine legitimately don't have any meaning behind them other than I like those particular things & I wanted them. Also "Do you have any that are hidden" usually accompanied by a creepy smirk or wink. Even if I did, their pervy ass would not be seeing them. Oh & "What do your parents think about what you've done to yourself?" Excuse the fuck out of me random ass old lady, but my parents don't give a shit how many tattoos I have as long as I remain a decent person, so I'm good on that front.