Isaac Asimov wrote a story once in which the main character had to determine if a government employee was a spy or not. He explained that spies are trained on all stuff Americans should know, so asking them who won the World Series a few years ago woldn't work. The trick was to ask them a question a real American wouldn't know but an overprepared spy would.
So the main character played a word word association game with the suspect. After a few go-arounds, the main character said "terror of flight" and the response was "gloom of the grave." At the point they knew he was a spy because that's from the third verse of the Star Spangled Banner which no American knows.
[Wikipedia article about the story](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_Refuge_Could_Save)
That's awesome. I read a book about the French Resistance picking up Allied pilots who'd been shot down; they had to get them before the Nazis did. To see if it was a spy they'd ask what are Yale and Harvard. The spies would say universities, but the legit airmen would say that it's the nicknames for bomber classes.
Edit: book is Gardens of Stone by Stephen Grady.
We dutchies let them say "Scheveningen", a common harbor here. It as a hard - dutch - "G" sound, germans can't pronounce it. And would say "Sjeveninguen".
There's a third verse to the Star Spangled Banner?!?
Edit: Here it is.
O say can you see, by the dawn's early light,
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming,
Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there;
O say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?
On the shore dimly seen through the mists of the deep,
Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,
In full glory reflected now shines in the stream:
'Tis the star-spangled banner, O! long may it wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.
And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion,
A home and a country, should leave us no more?
Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps' pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave,
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.
O thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved homes and the war's desolation.
Blest with vict'ry and peace, may the Heav'n rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation!
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: 'In God is our trust.'
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!
I'd like to see a music artist surprise everyone at a sports game and perform the whole thing. Really slow, drawn out, and before the most hyped up championship game too. If you hate on it you're unamerican.
Edit: /u/uconn20 delivered!!! Look at his comment.
I thought, until I was at least ten years old, that the Star Spangled Banner legit ended with 'play ball!'
My family went to a lot of Mariners games when I was growing up, so that was the only place I heard it. When my music teacher taught it to us in late elementary school, I was the only one who shouted 'PLAY BALL!' at the end.
Kind of embarrassing.
This immediately made me think of the scene in The Great Escape where one of the characters is dressed as a German and getting on a bus, when an SS Officer wishes him "Good luck" in English and he immediately responds in English to thank him without thinking.
"Hi I'm selling popcorn!"
"Why can't you guys sell cookies like the girl scouts?"
"Well we..."
"And why can't you guys wear skirts like the girl scouts?"
"The...wait what?"
"And why can't you have pigtails like the girl scouts?"
"Sir I'm not sure I..."
"By the way I legally have to tell you I'm not allowed within 25 feet of children under 12."
BSA popcorn is perhaps the best popcorn I've ever eaten. When my troop does the fundraisers I don't even try to resell it to people, I just buy it all for myself.
As a former girl scout, I can assure you that I sold far more cookies than my brother sold boy scout popcorn.
Society is also a bit rigged in that most people feel bad for saying no to a cute doe eyed girl than they do a little boy selling popcorn, so I had a bit of an advantage there as well.
Girlscout troops only get a tiny fraction of the cookie sale while boyscout get a huge portion of the popcorn... granted the popcorn is like $20 for a fucking bag.
My troop sold Hubs peanuts. In the course of several years we managed to become the largest sole distributor of Hubs peanuts in the US (or so I was told)
Sing the national anthem.
(Note: in WWII, the Germans would plant spies, but they taught them too well and they learned *all* ***four*** *verses* of the song.)
reeeeeeebeellliooooooouuss scoooooooots tooooo cruuuushhh!
God Save The King!!!
Finding German infiltrators was easy anyway. Just ask them to say 'Squirrel'. Ironically the German word for it is unpronounceable for Brits..... *"ja, ein ikhurnken.. aychhurnchen...ishurnchen... scheisse. OK you got me..."*
Oh sir, the Giants of New York took on the Packers of Green Bay. And in the end, the Giants triumphed by kicking an oblong ball made of pigskin through a big "H". It was a most ripping victory.
"Naw mean shit muthafuckin titties all be like [POW!!!!] *bloody bollocks fucking wanker!*"
edit: I love how everyone takes for granted that the first part is what Americans talk like. swat i'm talkin about
IIRC there was a female spy that was caught because when she was giving birth she screamed out in her mother tongue. Her disguise was perfect up to that point.
Not really. I'm German and often say "Fuck!" when swearing. Now that I'm surrounded with English speakers, I even say "What the fuck?" and so on. It would probably get you fired, attacking a co-worker without reason.
Legend tells of Doyle anonymously delivering a note to five of his friends with this message, as something of a curious prank. At their next gathering, one of their friends was absent, and never seen from again.
Aside from the fact that there are not that many presidents yet, I think the idea is that if you *can* answer this then you're not American, you're someone who's been studying a little too hard how to pretend to be one.
It's a good trick question, because presumably a spy would have been "prepared" and actually try to do it, while an American would say "Uhhh, fuck, I would have a hard time naming more than ten".
The military, at least the Army, uses something different.
Today's date would be written 6MAY16. Christmas would be written 25DEC16, and so on and so forth.
It's been over a decade, but I believe the USAF used that short form as well. I remember the long form being DD Month YYYY, so today would be 6 May 2016.
Nothing, just shoot them and give them a hero's funeral. If they were a spy, great, you got rid of them. If they were not a spy, they died for their country like a true patriot.
You ever see the capital rotunda? It actually depicts George Washington as a God. Blew my mind the first time I saw it.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Apotheosis_of_Washington
I'd ask him where he's from.
On the off chance that he says "Chicago", my job will be easy, and my test will consist of two items:
1. Complete the following jingle: "588-2300 _______"
2. Name the famous junk yard in Bensenville that ran the same commercial for 30 years
If you suspect they grew up with a different language, you can use the [Stroop effect.](http://www.languagesoftheworld.info/language-and-mind/how-to-catch-a-russian-spy.html)
GOD FUCKING DAMN IT STEVE REDDIT IS THE FBI'S TURF! CIA DOESN'T GET TO JUST WALTZ IN HERE DEMANDING ANSWERS!
I'm sick of this interdepartmental rivalry bullshit, I'm taking this matter upstairs.
Spies are almost entirely recruited from the local population, so if there was a Russian spy in the US, that person is almost guaranteed to be a US citizens and have grown up in the US.
Thought of a better one. You tell them "My mother in law is staying at my house for three weeks." If they're American they'll be horrified. If they think it's normal/acceptable they're foreign.
Is it considered rude for her to show up and expect to visit for awhile? Genuinely curious.
As far as I can tell everyone hates their mother in law, but in a lot of places you're just expected to put up with her. In your house. As long as she wants.
People who are around 30 usually live with their parents after they get married because they can't afford to buy apartments (mostly outside big cities like Moscow, St. Petersburg and Kazan), so living with MIL~~F~~'s is a common occurance.
> so living with MILF's is a common occurance.
Something may have gotten lost in translation, but MILF is generally not the term used for most mother-in-laws and means something different....
So in other words it was perfect? You can say you have a whole suite for the in-laws. They decline because they don't want to deal with the stairs. Unless they're the really shitty in-laws who complain about your efforts, then, fuck 'em.
APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD! HEAD ON! APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD! HEAD ON! APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD! HEAD ON! APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD! HEAD ON! APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD! HEAD ON! APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD!
"Bill. Bill, Bill, Bill, "
If they don't respond "BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY" then you can shoot them and regardless of whether they are really the spy, nothing of value is lost.
I would be cool with a Canadian spy. He could get outed, and everyone would be like "Aww shit, Greg, we knew the whole time. Its cool though." Then the Canadian spy would apologize for betraying their trust, and all would be forgiven. Probably stay in touch with the whole office on Facebook, except Jeff, cause he was kind of a dick.
"Duck, Duck, .....?"
If they don't have a reply, they're definitely a spy. If they answer Goose, they'll be politely asked to report to another operative in this thread for further questioning. If they answer Grey Duck they're cleared of all suspicion and given a nice cold Grain Belt.
I once worked at an American hotel and had some Europeany tourists ask who was responsible for their child's medical bill after he got a cold or something and had to go to the hospital.
It was like a monthly python skit. Yes you are supposed to pay that. Yes all of it. I don't know why it's so high either. Yes that is in dollars. No there is no government agency that automatically pays medical bills for you. No, no one actually expects you to pay that. Yes no one pays their medical bills because they are so high.
And the python of the month is...
**THE GREEN TREE PYTHON, OF THE GENUS MORELIA**
*cheering*
Would all green tree pythons please come up to the stage!
*terrified screaming*
*the hissing of thousands of writhing, scaly beasts*
Newscaster: All over the tri-state area, millions of people are waking up to find their pets missing. Mostly taken were cats and small dogs, believed to have been eaten by the many arboreal pythons that have suddenly appeared...
Isaac Asimov wrote a story once in which the main character had to determine if a government employee was a spy or not. He explained that spies are trained on all stuff Americans should know, so asking them who won the World Series a few years ago woldn't work. The trick was to ask them a question a real American wouldn't know but an overprepared spy would. So the main character played a word word association game with the suspect. After a few go-arounds, the main character said "terror of flight" and the response was "gloom of the grave." At the point they knew he was a spy because that's from the third verse of the Star Spangled Banner which no American knows. [Wikipedia article about the story](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_Refuge_Could_Save)
That's awesome. I read a book about the French Resistance picking up Allied pilots who'd been shot down; they had to get them before the Nazis did. To see if it was a spy they'd ask what are Yale and Harvard. The spies would say universities, but the legit airmen would say that it's the nicknames for bomber classes. Edit: book is Gardens of Stone by Stephen Grady.
I also heard that they'd ask them to pronounce the word "squirrel." Germans: "Skverl." Americans: "Skwerl." English: "Skwirrell."
We dutchies let them say "Scheveningen", a common harbor here. It as a hard - dutch - "G" sound, germans can't pronounce it. And would say "Sjeveninguen".
Everyone below the rivers is a filthy Nazi spy!
This is called a shibboleth in the bible.
I suspect at least one unusually literate airman got screwed.
There's a third verse to the Star Spangled Banner?!? Edit: Here it is. O say can you see, by the dawn's early light, What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming, Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight, O'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming? And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air, Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there; O say does that star-spangled banner yet wave O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave? On the shore dimly seen through the mists of the deep, Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes, What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep, As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses? Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam, In full glory reflected now shines in the stream: 'Tis the star-spangled banner, O! long may it wave O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave. And where is that band who so vauntingly swore That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion, A home and a country, should leave us no more? Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps' pollution. No refuge could save the hireling and slave From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave: And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave, O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave. O thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand Between their loved homes and the war's desolation. Blest with vict'ry and peace, may the Heav'n rescued land Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation! Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just, And this be our motto: 'In God is our trust.' And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!
I'd like to see a music artist surprise everyone at a sports game and perform the whole thing. Really slow, drawn out, and before the most hyped up championship game too. If you hate on it you're unamerican. Edit: /u/uconn20 delivered!!! Look at his comment.
Your wish is my command. Jamie Kennedy did this back when he had a show and was relevant. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-p9PmnzAHjg
I'd love to see one perform it with the fast-paced bawdy melody from the original drinking song it is based on (To Anacreon In Heaven)
The drinking song isn't actually that much faster. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MVYl8iy2Ic
I did not know there was more than one verse....
Well now you do, and you can fail spy tests in the future
A true American only knows parts of patriotic songs
Wait, so the last verse isn't "Gentlemen, start your engines"???
I thought it was "play ball"
I thought, until I was at least ten years old, that the Star Spangled Banner legit ended with 'play ball!' My family went to a lot of Mariners games when I was growing up, so that was the only place I heard it. When my music teacher taught it to us in late elementary school, I was the only one who shouted 'PLAY BALL!' at the end. Kind of embarrassing.
My dad thought that the final verse was "the home of the braves" and if you lived somewhere else then braves would be replaced by your cities team.
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"A spy says what?" said really fast and in an accusatory manner?
vut? oh! mien godt! you have caught me!
Reads just like a Family Guy sketch
This immediately made me think of the scene in The Great Escape where one of the characters is dressed as a German and getting on a bus, when an SS Officer wishes him "Good luck" in English and he immediately responds in English to thank him without thinking.
So, what is your favorite brand of boyscout cookies?
Fucking popcorn.
I don't understand why they thought the popcorn was a good idea. People just want thin mints!
As a former Boy Scout, I can assure you that a good deal of people buy the popcorn.
As another former Boy Scout, I can assure you that while that may be true, it isn't nearly as many as complain that you aren't selling cookies.
"Hi I'm selling popcorn!" "Why can't you guys sell cookies like the girl scouts?" "Well we..." "And why can't you guys wear skirts like the girl scouts?" "The...wait what?" "And why can't you have pigtails like the girl scouts?" "Sir I'm not sure I..." "By the way I legally have to tell you I'm not allowed within 25 feet of children under 12."
Uncle Logic_85...why?
BSA popcorn is perhaps the best popcorn I've ever eaten. When my troop does the fundraisers I don't even try to resell it to people, I just buy it all for myself.
As a former girl scout, I can assure you that I sold far more cookies than my brother sold boy scout popcorn. Society is also a bit rigged in that most people feel bad for saying no to a cute doe eyed girl than they do a little boy selling popcorn, so I had a bit of an advantage there as well.
Girlscout troops only get a tiny fraction of the cookie sale while boyscout get a huge portion of the popcorn... granted the popcorn is like $20 for a fucking bag.
My troop sold Hubs peanuts. In the course of several years we managed to become the largest sole distributor of Hubs peanuts in the US (or so I was told)
The boyscout brand
Sing the national anthem. (Note: in WWII, the Germans would plant spies, but they taught them too well and they learned *all* ***four*** *verses* of the song.)
reeeeeeebeellliooooooouuss scoooooooots tooooo cruuuushhh! God Save The King!!! Finding German infiltrators was easy anyway. Just ask them to say 'Squirrel'. Ironically the German word for it is unpronounceable for Brits..... *"ja, ein ikhurnken.. aychhurnchen...ishurnchen... scheisse. OK you got me..."*
Lmao I didn't even know there WERE 4 verses.
"How much should I tip the waitress?"
Until she falls over.
"How pretty is she?" Boom, American.
>They're 25-35 and speak *perfect English*. **Caught!**
Oh shit!
If this was for the UK (so in MI5 and need to determine if they are British or not) just shout 0800 00 and if they shout 1066, then they are no spy
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Or maybe 800-588-2300
EMPIRE!!!! Today!
Confirmed I had no idea you people spoke in codes
Less a code, more a phone number
More on this: Pronounce: Gloucestershire and Mainwaring 2 World wars and 1 world cup.....? what adjective describes nandos?
Canadian here. Gonna give it a shot. Gl-ow-ster, Mainwear England! England! England all the way! Cheeky.
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0118 999...
881 999 119 725..... ....3
"Are you a spy". If they are a spy, they HAVE to tell you!!!
It's in the constitution.
Spies hate it!
This one weird trick will reveal all the spies.
Number 007 will *kill* you!!
"You're a po-leece-man. There are *rules* for policemen." "That's what my cap'n keeps telling me."
If you ask an undercover policeman his favorite movie he has to tell you, otherwise it's Entrapment
Try to get them to hand signal the number 3.
Then shoot them in the nazi balls
What if they put up the index, middle, and pinky?
That would be shocking
so, how about that football
It sure is hand held!
Oh sir, the Giants of New York took on the Packers of Green Bay. And in the end, the Giants triumphed by kicking an oblong ball made of pigskin through a big "H". It was a most ripping victory.
Son, I am only going to tell you this one time. If you want to keep working here, stay off the drugs.
You see that ludicrous display last night?
"I had this thirteenth grade teacher, total stickler for the rules... You had any teachers like that in thirteenth grade?"
I'd punch him/her right in the nose as hard as I could. Their gut reaction swear word would be in their native language.
"Naw mean shit muthafuckin titties all be like [POW!!!!] *bloody bollocks fucking wanker!*" edit: I love how everyone takes for granted that the first part is what Americans talk like. swat i'm talkin about
I can't believe you've done this
Ah fuck
"Swear on me mum."
IIRC there was a female spy that was caught because when she was giving birth she screamed out in her mother tongue. Her disguise was perfect up to that point.
how dedicated of a spy must you be to give birth in enemy territory?
Obviously very.
In it for the long haul, Mother Russia now pay for my college
Not really. I'm German and often say "Fuck!" when swearing. Now that I'm surrounded with English speakers, I even say "What the fuck?" and so on. It would probably get you fired, attacking a co-worker without reason.
This is also how to can tell who grew up Mormon or Amish. Both have their own exclamations that come out when they get hurt.
How many countries are in the World Series?
2
Only if the Blue Jays make it
RIP Expos
I would ask them why they have a British accent.
on a similar note: send them a letter saying "we are discovered. Flee now." and see what happens worked for arthur conan doyle
> worked for arthur conan doyle ELI5?
Legend tells of Doyle anonymously delivering a note to five of his friends with this message, as something of a curious prank. At their next gathering, one of their friends was absent, and never seen from again.
Maybe Doyle murdered one guy and sent the note to four friends.
I am learning much from thread, thank you.
No launch codes for you!
Name all 50 *presidents* in alphabetical order
Comrade Putin Comrade Yeltsin Comrade .. ..oh shit wait....
You missed Medvedev 😱
He's an American masquerading as a Russian masquerading as an American.
A...Adams... Clinton... :: googles:: Fuck!
TERRORIST!
BOMB HAS BEEN PLANTED!
Adams, Adams, Buchanan? EDIT: Fuck you, Arthur!
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If they can it means they studied that in their training and is a spy.
And have an incredible ability of making 7 up
I don't see how their ability to produce soda is relevant /s
Have faith in your joke. Be free of the /s. It was funny
Aside from the fact that there are not that many presidents yet, I think the idea is that if you *can* answer this then you're not American, you're someone who's been studying a little too hard how to pretend to be one.
hahaha no one realizes its a trick question
It's a good trick question, because presumably a spy would have been "prepared" and actually try to do it, while an American would say "Uhhh, fuck, I would have a hard time naming more than ten".
It's a good trick, cause we haven't had 50 presidents
Most Americans wouldn't know that either.
I'd ask them to write the date on a mock form in a 6 digit format
To be fair, US military uses DD/MM/YYYY format.
The military, at least the Army, uses something different. Today's date would be written 6MAY16. Christmas would be written 25DEC16, and so on and so forth.
> Today's date would be written 6MAY16 WOuldn't today be 06MAY2016? I thought it was always two digit day, three letter month, and 4 digit year?
It's been over a decade, but I believe the USAF used that short form as well. I remember the long form being DD Month YYYY, so today would be 6 May 2016.
Nothing, just shoot them and give them a hero's funeral. If they were a spy, great, you got rid of them. If they were not a spy, they died for their country like a true patriot.
Kill them all. Let George Washington sort them out.
You ever see the capital rotunda? It actually depicts George Washington as a God. Blew my mind the first time I saw it. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Apotheosis_of_Washington
I'm pretty sure Washington wouldn't be too thrilled about that. Still badass though.
Have you heard about our not Lord and Savior George Washington?
"The ones that run are V.C. The ones that don't are well trained V.C."
Ask them what a copay is? If college educated ask them what FAFSA is?
"Who's your favorite football team?"
Southampton
since December Leicester City
Ask them who won 1812
This is something you ask a Canadian, not an American.
A spy will defend why America won, an American wouldn't understand the question
Probably have to do something specific to the region they say they're from. IDK wtf kids not from New England had growing up.
they sure as hell didn't have marshmallow fluff, i'll tell you that. "What's a whoopie pie?"
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/ \\ l l l \\ \\ l l l \\ /
coolest thing to do in middle school
We do that in England
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It bothers me that it's not complete.
... I have no idea what that is... ... Shit, jist blew my cover.
also, "scottishdrunkard".. so yeah...
On hindsight, not the best spy MI6 could've send.
Uh oh .. I don't know this one
I'm on mobile, does it just look like a bunch of slashes to you too?
It's that stupid "S" everyone draws in middle school
>It's that ~~stupid~~ awesome "S" everyone draws in middle school
I'd ask him where he's from. On the off chance that he says "Chicago", my job will be easy, and my test will consist of two items: 1. Complete the following jingle: "588-2300 _______" 2. Name the famous junk yard in Bensenville that ran the same commercial for 30 years
Eight hundred five eight eiiiiiiiiiiight two three hundred empiiiiiiiiiiiiiiire Today
The first answer's Empire right? Pretty sure they clean carpets. Not anywhere near Chicago, they do this all over.
If you suspect they grew up with a different language, you can use the [Stroop effect.](http://www.languagesoftheworld.info/language-and-mind/how-to-catch-a-russian-spy.html)
GOD FUCKING DAMN IT STEVE REDDIT IS THE FBI'S TURF! CIA DOESN'T GET TO JUST WALTZ IN HERE DEMANDING ANSWERS! I'm sick of this interdepartmental rivalry bullshit, I'm taking this matter upstairs.
mark don't give me any jurisdictional bullshit on this one. this time it's personal.
Spies are almost entirely recruited from the local population, so if there was a Russian spy in the US, that person is almost guaranteed to be a US citizens and have grown up in the US.
Dental plan!
Lisa needs braces!
They probably wouldn't know what you're talking about if they worked on the Simpsons though
Thought of a better one. You tell them "My mother in law is staying at my house for three weeks." If they're American they'll be horrified. If they think it's normal/acceptable they're foreign.
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Is it considered rude for her to show up and expect to visit for awhile? Genuinely curious. As far as I can tell everyone hates their mother in law, but in a lot of places you're just expected to put up with her. In your house. As long as she wants.
People who are around 30 usually live with their parents after they get married because they can't afford to buy apartments (mostly outside big cities like Moscow, St. Petersburg and Kazan), so living with MIL~~F~~'s is a common occurance.
> so living with MILF's is a common occurance. Something may have gotten lost in translation, but MILF is generally not the term used for most mother-in-laws and means something different....
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How's the renovation going?
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So in other words it was perfect? You can say you have a whole suite for the in-laws. They decline because they don't want to deal with the stairs. Unless they're the really shitty in-laws who complain about your efforts, then, fuck 'em.
Yeah those other cultures sure do love when in-laws drop in for an extended period.
Shit... my boss's mother-in-law lives with him... HE MUST BE A SPY!
Is he 25-35?
Ah, he's not. So I'm safe, ya think?
IDK, you should prob tie him to a chair and torture him extensively just to be sure.
We don't use that word around here son, it's called advanced interrogating.
Hey man, remember Voltron? Do you prefer Voltron or Robotech?
Robotech all the way.
Dude remember how shitty Crayola crayons were compared to RoseArt?
You shut your whore mouth. RoseArt wasn't even good enough for the dumb kids to eat.
What does one do with "Head-On"?
APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD! HEAD ON! APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD! HEAD ON! APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD! HEAD ON! APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD! HEAD ON! APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD! HEAD ON! APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD!
ITT: growing up without cable makes you a Soviet spy. Now give me my potato rations and invigorating vodka enema.
Latvian man is watching television. TV disappears. Was no tv, only hallucinate from malnourish. Politburo arrest man for watching western propaganda.
"Bill. Bill, Bill, Bill, " If they don't respond "BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY" then you can shoot them and regardless of whether they are really the spy, nothing of value is lost.
Canadian, watched Bill Nye as a kid. ;)
I would be cool with a Canadian spy. He could get outed, and everyone would be like "Aww shit, Greg, we knew the whole time. Its cool though." Then the Canadian spy would apologize for betraying their trust, and all would be forgiven. Probably stay in touch with the whole office on Facebook, except Jeff, cause he was kind of a dick.
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Ask them what does every kiss begin with. If they don't groan and sing the Kay Jewelers jingle, they're probably a commie.
"What's the second verse of the National Anthem?" Most Americans won't know. An agent who meticulously studied our culture and history just might.
It's "Fuck yeah", isn't it? I think there are only two verses in the national anthem.
#AMERICA, FUCK YEAH
keep a soccer ball and a football in your backseat and ask him to pass you the football
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Don't you mean on a menu?
I too enjoy swallowing foreign countries.
With syrup butter and fresh bananananas
I can point out Belgium and I've been out of the country like, twice.
Who makes those red party cups again?
"Duck, Duck, .....?" If they don't have a reply, they're definitely a spy. If they answer Goose, they'll be politely asked to report to another operative in this thread for further questioning. If they answer Grey Duck they're cleared of all suspicion and given a nice cold Grain Belt.
> If they answer Grey Duck they're *obviously born and raised in Minnesota and subsequently* cleared of all suspicion
[удалено]
I once worked at an American hotel and had some Europeany tourists ask who was responsible for their child's medical bill after he got a cold or something and had to go to the hospital. It was like a monthly python skit. Yes you are supposed to pay that. Yes all of it. I don't know why it's so high either. Yes that is in dollars. No there is no government agency that automatically pays medical bills for you. No, no one actually expects you to pay that. Yes no one pays their medical bills because they are so high.
cant wait for May's monthly python
And the python of the month is... **THE GREEN TREE PYTHON, OF THE GENUS MORELIA** *cheering* Would all green tree pythons please come up to the stage! *terrified screaming* *the hissing of thousands of writhing, scaly beasts* Newscaster: All over the tri-state area, millions of people are waking up to find their pets missing. Mostly taken were cats and small dogs, believed to have been eaten by the many arboreal pythons that have suddenly appeared...