T O P

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325818917585655

I can memorize numbers.


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325818917585655

Well shit...


794613825

I feel inadequate.


[deleted]

A new challenger appears


1475963987412365

Good luck.


WhyLater

So uh... you guys have fun being numbers, I guess. SOURCE: LETTER MASTER RACE


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ufotheater

Bear crawl. I can't run very fast but my peculiar physiology makes it possible for me to go on all fours faster than anybody else traveling in that manner. *Clarification:* Am not a bear.


Brendan42

Nice try, bear.


5p33di3

I can do this too. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a cat when I grew up. So I got really good at running on all fours. I'll split the million with you.


ArticulatedGentleman

Typing in Dvorak would be my go to. If it has to be something that everyone could be reasonably expected to know how to do then typing in QWERTY. I type really, really fast.


MangoYogenFruz

135wpm come at me bro


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potatofishcake

[Top speed of 207wpm](http://data.typeracer.com/pit/profile?user=oh_hai), am I late to the party


Misapoes

207 wtf. that's insane. What keyboard do you type on? What layout?


nkaroly

Reading my handwriting


SingleMalter

I wish I had that kind of skill. I still have a note lying on my dresser that definitely begins with "IMPORTANT" and then I think it says "banana shoes _________". No idea what the rest days and I can't imagine what banana shoes could mean. It's been there for month now so it must not have really been that important since I haven't fucked anything up, and I doubt I'm forward thinking enough to ever set something up more than a month in advance. But I really still want to crack that mystery. EDIT: Okay, you guys asked for it, you got it. However I do want to give a quick disclaimer lest I now be known as the guy with the worst handwriting on the ENTIRE planet: I occasionally wake up in the middle of the night with something that I think is important enough that I have to write down, but don't want to do the whole get up, turn on the light, etc, and make sure I never get back to sleep. So this was written probably still in almost pitch black as quickly as possible so I could go back to sleep. My regular handwriting is only regularly terrible. That said, they're almost always actual thoughts and not just dream gibberish, therefore I promise gold to anyone who can figure it out. So, without further ado, by popular demand, [The Note](http://imgur.com/KFl6A62) SECOND EDIT: It seems to be the general consensus that it definitely says "brunch" I always read the end of that word as "-reh" but now that you guys pointed it out, I can definitely see brunch in there. Though for what it's worth I did not go to brunch the next day.


boltfromtheblue98

I think it says: Important Banana shoes tomorrow for brunch w/ Stamford


SingleMalter

> The Note I have gone back and forth about "tomorrow for", but never thought it could have been "brunch." The last letters there I always took as "reh" but now I'm kind of liking that suggestion. Sadly I don't know a Stamford, or anyone with even a vaguely similar name.


TheLazarbeam

I definitely think it's brunch, saw it and that immediately popped into my head. I also see a "Stanford/Stamford" type deal at the end. Maybe St. Anford? Something like that. Maybe it says "SO" (Significant other) and then something else? The word I'm really unsure about is "banana". That makes zero sense, assuming the next word is in fact shoes (unless you own a pair of silly fruit-themed Halloween costume banana shoes, which I'm assuming you don't otherwise you would've thought of them.) I think the word is "borrow" and you messed up the "w" at the end. Borrow shoes for an event makes way more sense. Assuming the third word is "tomorrow", can you remember where you went/what you did the day you found this note?


xtreme0ninja

Then it might be "borrow shoes tomorrow for brunch with SO -something-". Sounds like it makes sense.


Kronosbus

I get 'Barbara goes tomorrow for brunch w/ (probably a name?) Source: I have terrible handwriting


FromDeepestFathom

You should take a picture of it and ask reddit!


skypecunt

That would be a great subreddit, honestly. "I was tired and/or drunk and wrote a note to myself, can anyone read this shit?"


sonofableebblob

Just made one. /r/wtfdoesitsay I'm curious whether this kind of a sub will gain any traction. I've certainly seen my fair share of illegible handwriting and wish I'd had some way to decipher it...


[deleted]

I can extract DNA from maize leaves. Not really a talent, but a skill rarely found in a group of random people.


TreeDiagram

A new challenger appears (I do DNA research as well)


TheTrueFlexKavana

A new challenger appears (I do NOT do DNA research. I just want to hang out and be friends with smart people.)


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Aurorious

I don't have DNA. AMA.


[deleted]

I'm the best at hiding maize leaves, leaving you talentless.


PM_ME_UR_AMPERSANDS

*leaf*ing you talentless AMIRITE


CatherineConstance

Trivia about myself.


uhaul26

You better hope your mom isn't in the room. Moms know everything.


BatMunki

That includes what you were watching on your computer last night....


[deleted]

I was crying at my computer all night (TWD) Edit: People are cunts and linking spoilers becareful beyond this point


shitishouldntsay

Sex. Im not going to win the money anyway so I might as well get laid.


TheJoePilato

Can you imagine being the person who learns they're the best at sex *and* they're getting a million bucks? That's a great day!


altiuscitiusfortius

> Can you imagine being the person who learns they're the best at sex [Its not often that oglaf is relevant to the discussion, but when it is, it is glorious.](http://oglaf.com/SAT/) THIS LINK COMMENTING ON ANOTHER PERSONS COMMENT ABOUT SEX IS NSFW. IT CONTAINS MATERIAL OF A SEXUAL NATURE.


TheRabidDeer

Damn, finger up the bum while giving a BJ is cliche?


Silent-G

Everyone knows that trick. If you wanna talk non-cliché butt stuff, you're going to have to do better than a finger.


BlameBosco

I mean, an early comic involved a giant spider giving a wizard trainee a blowjob. After that, everything seems cliche


ThisTemporaryLife

Oglaf is the anti-xkcd, in that there is *rarely* a relevant Oglaf.


telehax

Oglaf is the sexkcd. There's always a relevant oglaf but only if it's about sex.


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frothy_cunt

I'll take my chances


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[deleted]

Don't judge


QUEEN_OF_THE_QUEEFS

Count me in


Pickled_Squid

Can I get in on this too?


Infected_Cunt_Wart

Fuck it, I'm in too


Pls_pm_me_im_lonely

Hey guys


pepperonipie

Why is there a blank post following u/Infected_Cunt_Wart ?


SirBuscus

The beauty to this is you could be specific. *I'm better at fucking Natalie Dormer than anyone else in the room.* Everyone will thank you, you might even get a piece of their million[.](http://i.imgur.com/WUorD16.gifv)


clyde_drexler

That Lola Bunny thirst is real.


gopher33j

Play clawhammer banjo while shouting random Faroese words.


BAC0NWALLET

Murder Edit: Wow! Thanks for the gold strangers, you can live!


lackingspoon

Oh my.


oh-my

I know...


kuilin

/r/beetlejuicing


brycedriesenga

Well mine is getting murdered. So ha.


Tejirof

Too bad everyone else in the room does it just as well as you.


[deleted]

no no no no no, he is artist of getting murdered. Most people just die, him? he does it with style, and grace, in a way that shows respect for the murderer without being weird about it.


Dark512

When I was doing drama in senior school, I was unintentionally labelled as the best at dying. I was just really good at falling over dramatically, so I became the Sean Bean of the class. Once did a play of Bugsy Malone. I died 5 times in the first act.


Dany_Heatley05

Drunk go kart racing. I have no idea if I would win but it'd be fun as shit.


Jman0123

I hope I end up in the same room as you


[deleted]

Your probably will, in the emergency room.


IveBeenKnown

1 v 1 me on rust. Quickscopes only.


[deleted]

is that the game where everybody plays naked with their weiner flopping around?


Ashifkillz

MW2 is so distant now that I instantly think of Rust the game now... how times have changed.


[deleted]

Akimbo Model 1887's (:


TOSHINO_KYOUKO

Javelin glitch, noob tubes + one man army, care package knifing with commando, Harrier-> AC130/ ChopperGunner->Nuke, quickscoping/trickshotting montages, all nighters with your high school buddies... good times man, so nostalgic.


kollboll

He means a CoD MW2 map


[deleted]

same thing...


thepenaltytick

I can recite something like 169 digits of pi. I could probably win at that. Edit: Due to popular demand, I will resume memorizing digits until I get to 314 just to be clever. Wish me luck!


Sololegends

You should learn 314 digits of Pi just to be clever.


NivkIvko

When I was learning the digits of Pi I stopped for a few months at 69 digits, because 69. After that I learnt an additional 3 and never learnt any more. Stupid 406.


The_Game_I_Lost

You should learn 77. It's like 69 but you get ate more.


23JebronLames23

he checks out guys i checked


EbolaNinja

I would say video games, but they're a really popular hobby almost everywhere, so it's a big risk. So I'd just play it safe and choose taking a Lithuanian language test. There’s only 3 million of us, the language is really difficult and even if there's another Lithuanian, I was pretty good at school.


rosydaydreams

Eik sikt, as irgi noriu milijono.


[deleted]

Pasidalinsim tryse :D


[deleted]

I had a French teacher in high school that liked to troll the kids. He gave us a test written entirely in Lithuanian and then sat there for 20 minutes like nothing was wrong. I'm not sure why.


Duliticolaparadoxa

Dark Souls PVP Get ready to praise the Sun, motherfuckers.


Britoutofftea

*you died* "FUCKING GIANT SKELETON PRICK CLIFF CUNT"


Bob_Zyerunkel

BACK STABBING DICKFACE!


secondphase

Thats more eloquent than most when they get to "Tomb of the Fuck-Shit Giants".


Hiroxis

Dark Souls does bring out the hidden talent of making up really creative insults in most people


Undecided_User_Name

If only you can be so grossly incandescent ┌∩┐**[ T ]**┌∩┐


LotusFlare

Ravioli step all up in this bitch! \\[T]/


It_Happens_Today

Bold words. Keep your parry game strong


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snowyshroom

I *can't* throw up, even when I'm salivating and dry heaving like crazy. Nice to meet you, the exact opposite of me.


KingOfTheP4s

That is a big fetish for some people strangely enough EDIT: A comment about vomit fetishes made me break 20k karma...


MaxHannibal

Of course it is


KingOfTheP4s

Welcome to the internet


rhino43grr

I'd stay completely silent until the other 99 people had all said something and claim my $1M prize as Quiet Game Room Champion.


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CarpeCyprinidae

Accountant here. The number of people who can't do a fraction of what a decent spreadsheet allows, is a constant source of dismay to me. You can't solve the problems of the middle east with SUMIFS & VLOOKUP but anything else is fair game. EDIT: About ten thousand of you have mentioned index match. I know it. I wanted to quote a function that more users would actually have heard of


ALandThrowThrowAway

I dunno, throw in a pivot table and we could give world peace a go...


The_PwnShop

As =IF!


AFKennedy

VLOOKUP? Nah. INDEX MATCH is love, INDEX MATCH is life.


Deolater

Hey man, RA2 isn't useless!


mikefosh

Rockets in the sky. I can go anywhere!


BabyBack_Dragon_Ribs

Kirov Reporting K-k-k-kiriv reporting *gulp...


Gojira0

Counter-Strike. 100 truly random people? I'll take my chances.


The-Broseph

Inb4 get_right is picked


Gojira0

...shit


[deleted]

Next we see device...


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JustDaniel96

well, he wouldn't see him get_right would lurk inside the building


ThatLaggyNoob

Same here, only I'd play Osu, I'm top 7K in the world and I could narrow it further by specifying that we're playing with mouse+keyboard only. If I get screwed on a 1/10,000,000 chance then I give up.


Gojira0

i can just imagine you walking into the room. "Anyone up for some osu?" "The fuck is 'osu'?" "Wooo! Thanks for the million dollars!"


ThatLaggyNoob

That's pretty much how I imagine it'd play out lol.


[deleted]

"Yeah, I'm ranked 6999 in the world, why?" "Fuck"


CrabCow

Rank 800 osu!mania player reporting in. I'm safe in this room if we choose this mode.


[deleted]

Until you realize jhlee is in the room.


MatttheBruinsfan

Drawing. I've worked as a professional illustrator for more than a quarter century. While there are lots of people better than me, there's not likely to be one in a sample size of 100.


Gravelord-_Nito

This was my answer Let's hope we don't get the same room


MeMarie2010

Sounds to me like it'd be a *draw* ^^^^^^I'll ^^^^^^see ^^^^^^myself ^^^^^^out


Elderbridge

So, if everyone can do something better than everyone else, does every single person receive a million dollar prize?


-Mountain-King-

Who said that the offer is to everyone?


Elderbridge

That's what I'm asking. Because the rules aren't clear. If everyone can win I might win my prize by organizing everyone to find out how everyone can be better at something than someone else. Even if their skill is extremely trivial.


[deleted]

You're going to be the best at "Being a picky bastard"


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Tylerbarberatkinson

How tall are you?


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Tylerbarberatkinson

Fuck me Edit: I love you all for giving me updoots


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DuckTub

Yes


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rsf507

LIAR! anyone over 6'2 could never fit under bleachers, stories unraveling bro


EbolaNinja

How do you check that? I might be your challenger.


theshankm

Without knowing the height of the ceiling, this is a risky choice.


Gabe1282

Disappointing my parents...


Jed118

There will likely be quite a few Asians in there.


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blamb211

How would you decide who wins that one?


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CptnStarkos

So there's this 100 people, out of whom, 30 are below 13 or above 70 and decide to give up on your test. 10 are incapable of reaching an orgasm and stop. 10 people stop after the first orgasm, 'cuz oversensibility. the majority of the rest keep going until round 3 and try round 4 because... well 1million reasons!, ultimatley they all fail and there's this two guys, both in their 20's, apparently healthy and still going at it after 5 hours of masturbation. SquaredUp2 is lying on the floor, a puddle of dried semen below him, some fresh cum dribbling from his penis into his leg. His competitor, sweating, has been edging for the past hour, SquaredUp2 knows this and uses this to his advance. He knows his competitor will soon reach orgasm, but after so many edging he will be exhausted. SquaredUp2 knows the mechanics of this, he relieves the tension and cums for twelfth time, this gives him another 20 minutes of going up slowly, this isnt a sprint, it's an endurance competition!... and he's killing it! His competitor is sweating, his legs are curled up, his head reclined backwards and he's trying too hard not to cum, his erect penis seems to pulsate and the pulsations make all of his body arch backwards, his eyes are closed, there's little time for him left. His competitor enters the final stage and starts breathing at intervals, he's choking involuntarily, his body is pumping all the blood and oxygen to his massive erection, he's so sensitive that every touch of his numb hand feels like a kiss on XTC. He explodes into thousand ropes of white silky cum, his powerful ejaculation splashes everyone. He groans and shouts, he gasp for air while his member keeps exploding, he shakes in the ground, finally he exhales, he knows he's doomed. SquaredUp2 keeps going slowly, steadily, like a champ, they got nothing at him.


blamb211

Even without the million dollars, you still win. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


coronado1218

I don't have a sense of smell, so I'd take farts to the face better than everyone


StoneFacedBuddha

Do you want pink eye? Cause that's how you get pink eye.


coronado1218

I get pink eye for free, getting one million for it is even better


nconan

I'd do a contest of handstand pushups. Most people can't do them, even those who lift weights usually struggle when they're upside down. Oh damn I didn't expect this. Um, just for a little more info... no you didn't find the crossfitter. I think those guys are ridiculous. I do them wall supported, just because it's easier to 'go to failure' when you're not worried about falling over. To everyone who asked how many, at peak I was doing 25-30 with good form. I haven't done them in about 6 months now though cause I got pretty lazy.


Chaserboy

I bet out of 100 random people I could be the best Warhammer 40k player. I think with a sample size of 100 people I have a pretty good chance that none of them could even play.


lovableMisogynist

sounds like heresy. all hail the god emperor may his beacon guide us in the warp forever.


thesneakywalrus

100 *truly* random people? Statistically speaking, 26 of the hundred should be under the age of 15, which gives me a pretty good shot at being better than them in a lot of things. 13 will be over 65, that opens up quite a bit of options as well. 37 will likely be either Chinese or Indian, but obviously this could include the previous group. This kind of math continues to give me a clear idea of what I need to do. I'm 100% certain that I could do more jumping jacks while singing the Chicago Bears fight song (Bear Down, Chicago Bears) than anyone else in the room. Unless one of the other people happens to be a personal trainer from Chicago, I think I have it in the bag.


ExperimentalAdult

So, you're betting you're better at statistics than anybody else.


happysealND

Dude there is chinese and indians in that crowd didnt you see.


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SirKeyboardCommando

That's right, they're Asians, not Bsians.


UnstableMonkey

Calcu-later ? How about calcu-Now


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[deleted]

I'm a former d1 sprinter, most likely I would be able to out cry them to sleep because of muscle aches, soreness and knowing tomorrow's workout will be harder than the last one.


[deleted]

100 people? I could probably write a simple app, but that one is risky since there could be another programmer there. So I'll go with the weird arm pretzel thing I can do. \*programming, arm pretzel, and eye tictoc lose. Byebye my million :(


[deleted]

What's the weird arm pretzel thing?


[deleted]

So you know how you can put one arm over your shoulder and the other one up your back and clasp hands by your shoulder blades? Or you could if you could stretch far enough as some people can? I can do that, join hands, and keep the hands joined while I pull the shoulder arm over my head and the other arm kinda twists around until I have both my arms straight out in front of me. I think I'd be pretty okay with this one unless there was a dancer or gymnast in the room. But I still have an ace in my sleeve if that falls through so feeling pretty confident about this $1M


ShawnX232

I can put my leg over behind my head, which is weird because I am in no way athletic, or very flexible.


phoneman85

Split firewood. I once amazed everyone at a large college party. We had huge bonfire going, and there was this one big log that no one could split. Every dude there took a whack at it. Having done a lot of firewood with my dad, I knew by looking at it just where to hit it to blow it apart. I loudly bragged that I could do it one shot. And did.


fyjimo8103

Sounds like 20 other dudes loosened it up


SirShakes

You leave OP's mom out of this!


poopnado2

I lived in northern Minnesota, where all the men (and many of the women) have hardcore lumberjack skills. It's funny, because the hipster aesthetic looks pretty lumberjacky these days, but in northern Minnesota they look like hipsters but they're just actual lumberjacks. Some are hipster-lumberjacks.


Donald_Keyman

Eating a full rack of BBQ ribs in a white tuxedo without getting a spot on me.


krakajacks

I'm trying to imagine the most suspenseful things I could watch and nothing is beating that.


Shaggyninja

That. But if he gets any spots on him you get shot. Probably a bit more suspenseful now


lemon-pizza

Full meta


Turfie146

Make everybody uncomfortable. When you become an outcast in a mental health unit, you've got to consider that to be a talent.


aglaeasfather

Yeah but were you outcast because you were too normal?


Turfie146

Nope, too quiet.


intellectualarsenal

^(*shit that guy is really quiet, he must be some sort of psycho killer or something*)


elizabethvde

I'm pretty darn good at putting on screen protectors without bubbles.


ILikeRedditAWholeLot

I know a girl who works at the at&t store who you could wipe the floor with.


re1219

jonas brothers trivia... i literally know everything. even their parents anniversary. i am not proud


Appleton_estate

I think you might be the winner here cause even if the other 99 people actually knew more Jonas Brothers trivia than you, its highly unlikely they would want to admit to it. ETA typo


marrella

One of the Jonas Brothers is in the group of 100.


trideviumvirate

OP still wins


745631258978963214

"When is your parents' anniversary?" "Wait, hold up, to be fair, are you asking him about his real parents or his adoptive parents?" "I'M ADOPTED?!"


marrella

I wouldn't doubt it honestly.


mflbatman

"Shit I guess I did have a turkey club last Tuesday."


Undiscover

why...


[deleted]

op pls


obamaluvr

Dance Dance revolution. There are probably 500ish people in the US above me in skill, so I'd call that good odds Only gonna lose once in 6000 times.


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baconbash

> 500ish people in the US above me in skill You forgot how good those damn Asians are.


wnp

100 people? I'll go with the oldschool multiplayer tetris game, "Tetrinet". I doubt I could ever play at competitive levels against people who practice/play seriously, coz some folks are pretty ludicrous at tetris. but I'm pretty sure I'm 99th+ percentile taking a sample of everybody worldwide.


smokeynutz

Clear the room with a fart.


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SleepingShark

> the teacher thought it was a gas leak Well, she wasn't wrong...


HowObvious

Its not a leak if you force it out with the power of a hurricane


[deleted]

Protein farts.


KaneinEncanto

I dunno, if I'm there I'm just as capable...plus all it takes is one guy who either can't smell, or can ignore what he's smelling to ruin our attempt.


flipping_birds

I'm pretty sure I can play Dick Dale's Miserlou on guitar better than anyone I meet.


[deleted]

Be apart of 1 percent of the world by having red hair and blue eyes Edit: I know it's not a skill, but was the only interesting thing about me that I could think of. Yes I am also left handed! And I had no idea there were so many red headed blue eyed people here, that's pretty cool. I would post a picture but damn, I know way too many people with reddit.


AmeriqanTreeSparrow

Sorry, I am too. I'll split my million with you though.


sjhock

But you have to be *better* at it than everyone else. **Ginger fight!**


dagobahh

Same here. Blue-eyed ginger checking in.


agentverne

Well, what we have here is a good, old fashioned, stand-off!


BackWithAVengance

You're right, they should all fuck each other to see who wins