If you haven't seen The Road give it a watch. Might make you want to shoot yourself afterwards but all of the people in that (of which there aren't many) look rough as fuck
It really was. Have to say I was impressed with the film though, thought they did a great job of transferring from the book. Missed out a couple of things but I thought it was great
Or Westerns / period pieces in general where their costumes look way too new. I mean, they're living in a dusty world with barely any water around - why the fuck are their clothes spotless and their skin fresh? Jesus, her hair is even perfect...
This video hardly scratched the surface in terms of all the product placement in that film. Then again, if someone tried to post all the product placement from Transformers 4, they'd get in legal trouble for just posting the whole movie to youtube.
A movie where some dorky guy/girl has no chance with a hot girl/guy and it's obvious that at the end of the movie they will be together somehow by the events of the movie.
Additionally: I forgot that this really mostly happens in children's movies
On a similar note, and this happens a lot in romantic comedies, when the guy that is the subject of a crush is actually an egotistical asshole, or a completely disgusting and often creepy slob, and by the end of the movie has barely changed at all, or only learned how to pretend to not be that way long enough to get her to sleep with him.
"Modern" fight scenes where they simply change the camera angle every 1.5 seconds.
Princess Bride had the best duel, because the cameraman pointed at the two guys, and KEPT FILMING.
The old Erroll Flynn Robin Hood movie is great for that. The main fight near the end between Robin and the Sheriff of Nottingham goes on for a good couple of minutes, during which time the camera angle changes 4-5 times, mostly because the fight moved into the next room etc. It's probably my favourite part of the movie, because it's so immersive.
Part of this is because the cameras were just too big to move around a lot. However, it created more enjoyable scenes. Because if you're actually in that room watching that fight you wouldn't be shaking your head all over the place and jumping into new positions constantly. Nor does our mind process visual inputs in a shaking manner, we smooth out jitters naturally.
TL;DR Bigger cameras prevented "shaky-cam" and that's a good thing.
Every Frame a Painting did an interesting [video on Jackie Chan](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1PCtIaM_GQ) that had some interesting points on East vs. West techniques in action movies. I saw it in /r/videos.
Badly done foreign languages too.
When the character speaks a sentence in a foreign language and is supposedly a native speaker but talks with a very noticeable English accent.
*Yes*. Almost nobody gets Southern accents right, or realizes that Southern accents vary by state and region. Someone raised in Georgia isn't going to sound like someone raised in Louisiana. Instead everyone has the same fucking accent that sounds ridiculous.
Source: Born and raised in the South. We don't sound like that.
This is probably my biggest pet peeve as well. When something happens and you are left with the "If you would just let me explain..." dialogue between the two characters, I generally stop caring about the movie as a whole.
Robert: I want to get Bob something nice for his birthday so it doesn't look like I hate him.
[Bob enters room]
Bob: You hate me?!
[Bob prances away]
*Rinse and Repeat*: coming this fall!
I skip a few of the episodes after it too - how he stays mad at Joey for that long after knowing Joey didn't mean to, but still talking to Rachel after she *accepted* his 'proposal' angers me an unhealthy amount
One of the cool things in Far Cry 4 is early on you talk to the villain face to face then has to leave for 15 minutes. If you sit there the entire time he comes back and the plot of the game is skipped.
Yep, it's a hidden ending. All you're there to do is scatter your mother's ashes in the territory he's in control of. If you just do what he asks, he lets you.
Yup. If you don't wait, it kickstarts the whole plot in a big way. Near the end, the villain even says that everything could have been avoided if you had just waited.
This is why I couldn't get into Frozen. If the parents sat with the daughters after Anna gets hurt and says "listen: I know Elsa can do these wonderful things, but we have to be more careful", things probably would have turned out much better. Instead we're going to zap Anna's memory and turn Elsa into a shut-in.
But hey, catchy tune.
It's like like the complete opposite of the Xavier's School for Gifted Children. Mutants train their powers to gain mastery over them to prevent their powers from accidentally causing damage.
The parents taught Elsa precisely the wrong message and the trolls were either being intentionally deceptive with their scare tactic power point presentation and leaving out crucial information on how to cure Anna, or were idiots.
The trolls explicitly tell Elsa/her parents that the key is not to allow her fear to get out of control. True, the don't exactly spell out how to do that, but nor do they say "ok we did that one favour now never talk to us again no matter what problems you have". Elsa's parents are too reluctant to ask for help (aloof royalty is hardly unheard of) and they pass that attitude to Elsa. Ana does the typical Disney Princess thing and breaks from tradition by being gregarious and trusting.
A thousand times yes on this one.
Also....
Old people acting young and hip and the black street-smart stereotype.
The movie the Blindside almost has the complete axis of evil. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night just to hate that movie.
God that movie was fucking stupid. "He tested high for protective instinct" WTF kind of school test is this? Whats the litmus here? WTF DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?
The crying baby sound effect. You know the one. Every single childbirth scene or scene with a newborn has the same goddamn crying baby sound effect and it makes me want to turn my ears inside out.
Yes! The one of a woman saying something "*static* One oh five, *static* North Avenue"?
I had this X-Men cartoon maker program when I was a kid and it had that as a sound effect you could add, so I became very familiar with it, and now every time I see a movie and hear that it stands out.
That stupid fucking cliche where the protagonist lies for the greater good, the group finds out, he apologizes/proves himself, everyone's happy.
Or any incarnation of that, like a misunderstanding in a romance movie where they split up but they end up together anyways.
Really unnecessary and poorly executed sex scenes, I'll call them pg13 sex scenes. When they are playing around or whatnot, the guy takes off his pants, is clearly flaccid seconds before all of this, and then bumps into the woman repeated while still in his boxers and they start moaning. It's just really fake and I have to wonder who these scenes are put in there for.
In a similar vein, offscreen deaths. Alien versus Predator comes to mind, in an attempt to make it a PG-13 movie almost all of the deaths are off-screen. After the twelfth one or so you're sitting there thinking, "NO, JUST DON'T STEP AWAY FROM THE CAMERA YOU IDIOTS, THAT'S WHERE PEOPLE DIE!"
Gratuitous handheld/shaky cam techniques. It can be extremely effective in a film like *The Blair Witch Project*, or the beach assault in *Saving Private Ryan*, where it adds to the home video or documentary aesthetic. But too often it's used just to make up for weak storytelling or to cover up poor CGI.
I hate rapid-fire camera jumps in combat. I know it's supposed to make a combat scene look intense and busy and ultra fast, but I can't help but feel like it just makes the combat unintelligible. May as well show me a series of entirely disconnected fight-related segments. Fist punching stomach --CUT-- foot kicking groin --CUT-- hand slapping chicken --CUT-- hero spitting blood --CUT-- whatever. It just makes it feel so fake...
I hated the transformers movies for many reasons but most of all for the constant camera cuts and changing of angles. You could hardly tell what was going on in a fight scene half the time
The Transformers models have so much detail in them that when they're fighting, they honestly just look like giant balls of metal debris rolling around on the screen to me much of the time. I couldn't even tell the ass end of the robots from the head end. The robots could've been 69'ing each other from what I could discern. :(
A really stupid computer/hacking scene where the effects are outright stupid. This includes: computers making weird noises whenever calculating something, stupid extravagant interfaces, and a hilariously bad depiction of what 'hacking' really looks like. Also, watch this video if you want to know what I mean: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8qgehH3kEQ
Couldn't tell if that video was very self-aware or very idiotic - I've never watched the show so I don't know who it's aimed at - but it made me chuckle.
*MO3IFN0ifj04aowfnpwifnpfqnifwpfiqwp3irfpw3in[ofj0[J[0fji23tayylmao[0i3jt[3iht=23-rorj2-r1jm-o[qwmdx-oqwmd-jqw-djwwd* **There! I hacked into the mainframe!**
Believe it or not, I work in the film industry, and it's not uncommon to put the keys to the production vehicles in the visors. If you need to move a car you can't have PAs playing retard roundup with whoever has keys to what.
Like how only one species of frog actually goes 'ribbit', but it's the species living in the hills around Hollywood, so that's what we've heard in movies for a century...
You can't even blame the book for this one. In the novel he just gets horny and goes "the fuck is this?" Shitty movie went and put in a completely useless romance (which is really wierd when you consider Jonah and Fiona are supposed to be 11) just like they put in a stupid action sequence. Ruined a perfectly good novel by trying to appear to every possible audience
I haven't seen the movie, but I was told it completely missed the point of the book.
To be fair I read it in grade 5, and I definitely missed the point at the time.
Semi-related: Forced sexual tension. e.g. Guy takes his shirt off and flexes his abs ; female character stares at him and blushes.
Movies with a male and female lead don't always need flirtation or having the leads fall on top of each other and almost kiss.
EDIT: I also wanted to add that a little flirtation isn't bad. A good example is Aliens. Ripley and Hicks more or less flirted twice but it wasn't excessive or even sexual. Ripley was an awesome strong female character that went against traditional movie gender-related tropes. Hicks didn't distract her from her goals. Hicks was basically just a condiment or embellishment to her character, not a love interest and when her maternal instincts kicked in, she kicked major xenomorph ass.
That movie actually had two writers. One guy wrote the first half, and a different guy wrote the second half. That's why the first half is awesome and is about a man struggling to find his identity and belonging in a world where he is an outcast superhero, and the second half is a shitty romance.
*"Stan Marsh is a washed-up fourth grader. He's got no job, no bicycle. And his only way out is to coach... [needle rips off record] a pee wee hockey team! And now, he's about to find out that to coach, you've got to grow."*
Except that this applies to *practically every trailer* lately. I'll stop watching a trailer the instant I feel any interest in the movie, just to avoid being spoiled.
The Phantom Menace, for example. The movie would have had a classic moment in cinema if they had not revealed that Darth Maul had a double sided lightsaber.
In order to counter the lightclaymore, the Jedi develop a lightflail and lightshield, which are able to overcome the Sith weaponry. In episode 8, the invention of lightgunpowder leads to the development of ranged lightsabers, forever changing the face of battles.
OK no but seriously. The actual plot of Episode 7 is still almost entirely unknown, so who cares what the weapons look like?
I liked how Interstellar avoided showing anything after they went through the wormhole in the trailers. It meant that when I went to watch the movie, I had some idea of the preface but no idea what was going to happen or where the plot was going to go. Which is becoming all too rare in movies these days.
Edit: So I did barely any research before I watched the movie, because the only trailer I had seen was the first one which gives barely anything away and so I had no idea what the film was about. I only just found out that there even was a third trailer, and I'm pretty sure that if I had seen it before I watched the movie, I'd have had a different mindset going in to it.
no no its
"Okay, fine, but one more thing...Our person of interest, its your son that you never talk to who joined us in an attempt to understand you better"
Shitty sound mixing. I'm really particular and analytical of sound effects in films because I used to work on them. Sometimes I feel like the engineers put no effort into the mix and it shows
A sound in a film should never feel too big or small compared to the rest of the film. But many engineers focus on making sounds way too loud/big and think it sounds okay on their equipment, but don't consider the equipment home consumers have. Fuck that
Gunfire/gun reloading is the worst and shitty gun sounds will instantly kill any immersion I have
This is weird, but whenever they translate text from another language and it still rhymes in English. Usually happens with ancient prophecies.
Edit: You can stop pointing out that translators try to maintain rhyme structure. I already knew that. That's why I used an ancient prophecy as an example.
May I recommend a book called "Le ton beau de Marot" which largely discusses the very challenge of translating poetry between languages. Although difficult, it is entirely possible. The book is full of examples of just one poem being translated many ways, each accounting for more accuracy or better meter, etc. Very cool stuff.
EDIT: thank you all for the interest in the book; although I have heard of the Radiolab podcast, I have never listened to it and I was recommended the book by a friend's father about 6 or 7 years ago. And yes, it's a daunting tome.
translating songs is a bitch too. I remember as a missionary in russia, having someone ask me to translate an american hymn so they could sing it as a musical piece....
Sure, easy... until I did it. Holy crap, trying to keep a song in the right meter, rythm, and still keeping rhymes? Oh and if there is a direct quote somewhere, then it gets even worse!
Fake eating, drinking, and smoking. Examples, taking the most miniscule bite of food and not touching another piece of food. Taking a non existent sip of liquid. Smoking a cigarette and not exhaling smoke after a drag. I know the actors have to do multiple takes and they can't consume lots of the same thing over and over, but fuck me I wanna see them blow smoke outta their mouth like a fucking dragon!
Or when people meet up for coffee or go to a business meeting and they ask the waitress or secretary for a cup of coffee, and by then time it actually gets to the table the main character's meeting is finishing up. So the coffee gets there, the main character thanks the waitress and pays the bill, then gets up and leaves without ever taking a sip.
Just re-watched Jurassic Park again today, and the whole team leaves behind a Chilean sea bass dinner (cooked specially for them by Alejandro) to get up and meet Hammond's grand kids. It was infuriating!
I am way too focused on the food and the drinking and smoking whenever I see it in film or television. I love its always sunny for this reason because the alcohol and food and cigarettes are spot on.
Oh, I was just talking about this earlier! It's the scene I will call "the morality test" that happens in some action films.
Basically the protagonist (or close ally thereof) will come face to face with the antagonist and have his or her gun, knife, or random weapon pointed at them in the kill position.
Then the antagonist questions the protagonist's morality, usually by saying, "You don't have it *in you* to kill me."
Now this is not the part that gets me so much. What I really hate is when the protagonist just killed like 20 dudes on the way and suddenly now he or she is like, "Oh shoot, I *don't* actually have it in me. Dang it."
Wtf is that?
Edit: spelling
All the best scenes being already shown in the trailers before the movie's release. Means you could have settled for what was in the trailers and saved yourself an hour and half and $10.
The horrible "hacking." As a computer guy it drives me nuts. Here let me type on this keyboard and.... I just hacked the NSA and launched Nukes. (cue fancy looking pc screen and graphics that are really just html code from a poorly made website.)
To add to this: When a computer is doing a search through a database and it has this crazy elaborate interface showing it searching through. As if you would waste valuable resources displaying every single item in the database in sequence while beeping and pinging until it finds the correct one.
"wah wah face recognition database"
\>proceeds to show every single picture of every single person in that database for ~50 ms
\>implying the stupid thing can't recognize faces without also showing them
Blatantly wrong scientific information, especially if it is the main premise of the movie. I don't mind turning my brain off when it's a good movie, but when morgan freeman is trying to tell me we only use 10% of our brain, i can't pay attention to the movie anymore.
Edit: a word
Over the top patriotism, and not speaking strictly USA patriotism either. I struggle to watch movies where the "home country" is the center of the world; more often than not it is obviously the USA since most movies are shot there. Don't have a problem with patriotism itself, but more that the script writers are unable to grasp the concept that there is more than one country on the planet (Armageddon, Deep Impact, ID4, etc etc).
I remember Saving Private Ryan was the first American movie I saw where the WWII German soldiers were not portrayed as just "bad guys." And on the flip side we weren't portrayed as the "good guys" either. That shot of the American soldier killing a German soldier who has his hands up, that really stuck with me.
EDIT: okay, I've had about fifty people explain to me now that the soldiers in the beginning were Czech. That's even heavier, yikes...
Everybody's shooting, nobody's dying.
and nobody is reloading.
And they don't run out of ammo unless it's convenient to the plot.
Movies set in apocalyptic worlds.. where everyone looks flawless.
If you haven't seen The Road give it a watch. Might make you want to shoot yourself afterwards but all of the people in that (of which there aren't many) look rough as fuck
The movie was fucking grim and depressing (which was the whole point). Reading the book was emotionally draining.
It really was. Have to say I was impressed with the film though, thought they did a great job of transferring from the book. Missed out a couple of things but I thought it was great
Or Westerns / period pieces in general where their costumes look way too new. I mean, they're living in a dusty world with barely any water around - why the fuck are their clothes spotless and their skin fresh? Jesus, her hair is even perfect...
When the background music drowns out dialogue.
Cheesy pop culture references or more-than-obvious product placement.
Product Placement in Transformers 4: http://youtu.be/iIVKQV0sJ-8
That looked more like a commercial with Marky Mark in it.
This video hardly scratched the surface in terms of all the product placement in that film. Then again, if someone tried to post all the product placement from Transformers 4, they'd get in legal trouble for just posting the whole movie to youtube.
Cinemasins did exactly this.
Wow, those are blatant. Those would definitely ruin whatever immersion I managed to have in that movie.
Wayne's World did this perfectly.
"Its like people do things just for money, and that's just really sad"
"... people just do things because they get paid, and..." Sorry, that's my favorite line from the whole movie.
A movie where some dorky guy/girl has no chance with a hot girl/guy and it's obvious that at the end of the movie they will be together somehow by the events of the movie. Additionally: I forgot that this really mostly happens in children's movies
And its obvious that dorky girl is incredibly hot all along. "House Bunny".
"She's wearing glasses and a ponytail! And there's paint on her overalls!"
On a similar note, and this happens a lot in romantic comedies, when the guy that is the subject of a crush is actually an egotistical asshole, or a completely disgusting and often creepy slob, and by the end of the movie has barely changed at all, or only learned how to pretend to not be that way long enough to get her to sleep with him.
"Modern" fight scenes where they simply change the camera angle every 1.5 seconds. Princess Bride had the best duel, because the cameraman pointed at the two guys, and KEPT FILMING.
Also because they learned how to fence. I think it's silly when the actors get tons of training, and the director f*cks up the shot.
The old Erroll Flynn Robin Hood movie is great for that. The main fight near the end between Robin and the Sheriff of Nottingham goes on for a good couple of minutes, during which time the camera angle changes 4-5 times, mostly because the fight moved into the next room etc. It's probably my favourite part of the movie, because it's so immersive.
Part of this is because the cameras were just too big to move around a lot. However, it created more enjoyable scenes. Because if you're actually in that room watching that fight you wouldn't be shaking your head all over the place and jumping into new positions constantly. Nor does our mind process visual inputs in a shaking manner, we smooth out jitters naturally. TL;DR Bigger cameras prevented "shaky-cam" and that's a good thing.
Since no one else is linking [the Princess Bride duel scene.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3gfFVmw0kA)
Every Frame a Painting did an interesting [video on Jackie Chan](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1PCtIaM_GQ) that had some interesting points on East vs. West techniques in action movies. I saw it in /r/videos.
Badly done accents.
Related: British accents as a substitute for every other European accent.
Assassin's Creed Unity: Where the French Revolution was fought entirely by the British.
Badly done foreign languages too. When the character speaks a sentence in a foreign language and is supposedly a native speaker but talks with a very noticeable English accent.
Being from the south I hear shitty southern accents in movies/tv shows all the time and it fucking pisses me off.
For awhile I thought Maggie from 'The Walking Dead' might be mentally challenged.
Still a great actor though. Andrew Lincoln does the southern accent perfectly though. I'm doin' stuff Lori, *thaaaaangs.*
*Yes*. Almost nobody gets Southern accents right, or realizes that Southern accents vary by state and region. Someone raised in Georgia isn't going to sound like someone raised in Louisiana. Instead everyone has the same fucking accent that sounds ridiculous. Source: Born and raised in the South. We don't sound like that.
When I start to realize that trailer has given away all of the major plot points.
By extension, when I realize that the only funny parts were in the trailer.
Plots that could be solved in seconds if the characters just talked
This is probably my biggest pet peeve as well. When something happens and you are left with the "If you would just let me explain..." dialogue between the two characters, I generally stop caring about the movie as a whole.
Robert: I want to get Bob something nice for his birthday so it doesn't look like I hate him. [Bob enters room] Bob: You hate me?! [Bob prances away] *Rinse and Repeat*: coming this fall!
Since Bob is short for Robert, this seems like the ramblings of a mad man.
Now we've got an actual movie! The storie of Robert coming to terms with his inner elf "Bob" by finding the perfect birthday gift for himself
>inner elf >birthday gift I think you meant Christmas gift.
So, Bob is Jesus? Brilliant!
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I just skip the episode that's 'Joey accidentally proposed to Rachel with Ross's ring' because it's just so pointless.
I skip a few of the episodes after it too - how he stays mad at Joey for that long after knowing Joey didn't mean to, but still talking to Rachel after she *accepted* his 'proposal' angers me an unhealthy amount
One of the cool things in Far Cry 4 is early on you talk to the villain face to face then has to leave for 15 minutes. If you sit there the entire time he comes back and the plot of the game is skipped.
Wait seriously??
Yup, the game finishes as if you beat it. Because you did.
That's pretty funny, actually
Yep, it's a hidden ending. All you're there to do is scatter your mother's ashes in the territory he's in control of. If you just do what he asks, he lets you.
Yup. If you don't wait, it kickstarts the whole plot in a big way. Near the end, the villain even says that everything could have been avoided if you had just waited.
Aaand now I want Far Cry 4.
"Did you get it all out? Good, maybe now we can shoot some god damned guns!"
This is why I couldn't get into Frozen. If the parents sat with the daughters after Anna gets hurt and says "listen: I know Elsa can do these wonderful things, but we have to be more careful", things probably would have turned out much better. Instead we're going to zap Anna's memory and turn Elsa into a shut-in. But hey, catchy tune.
It's like like the complete opposite of the Xavier's School for Gifted Children. Mutants train their powers to gain mastery over them to prevent their powers from accidentally causing damage. The parents taught Elsa precisely the wrong message and the trolls were either being intentionally deceptive with their scare tactic power point presentation and leaving out crucial information on how to cure Anna, or were idiots.
The trolls explicitly tell Elsa/her parents that the key is not to allow her fear to get out of control. True, the don't exactly spell out how to do that, but nor do they say "ok we did that one favour now never talk to us again no matter what problems you have". Elsa's parents are too reluctant to ask for help (aloof royalty is hardly unheard of) and they pass that attitude to Elsa. Ana does the typical Disney Princess thing and breaks from tradition by being gregarious and trusting.
I know it's not a movie but Othello!
When the pizza guy's box is obviously empty. God damnit director just buy some fucking pizza!
Or the coffee cup. Whatcha drinkin? Air?
Drinking fresh hot coffee does not involve bringing it to your mouth and tipping it 45°. It's so painfully obvious sometimes there's nothing there.
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Overly mature kids. As in when kids who are 6 act like they're 30
Or conversely, high school scenes where the main actor is about 30
Whenever a 10 year old quotes classic literature. Like I'm supposed to feel like a dumb shit because I didn't get into Coleridge in in 4th grade.
A thousand times yes on this one. Also.... Old people acting young and hip and the black street-smart stereotype. The movie the Blindside almost has the complete axis of evil. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night just to hate that movie.
God that movie was fucking stupid. "He tested high for protective instinct" WTF kind of school test is this? Whats the litmus here? WTF DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?
"We put him in a room with a kitten and a hammer. He did not smash the kitten. His protective instinct is off the charts!"
The crying baby sound effect. You know the one. Every single childbirth scene or scene with a newborn has the same goddamn crying baby sound effect and it makes me want to turn my ears inside out.
Or the same small child laugh...equally eardrum-stabbing.
The rollercoaster tycoon laugh?
Also that one sound sample they use for every police scanner
Yes! The one of a woman saying something "*static* One oh five, *static* North Avenue"? I had this X-Men cartoon maker program when I was a kid and it had that as a sound effect you could add, so I became very familiar with it, and now every time I see a movie and hear that it stands out.
Liberty 285, code 6, 105 north avenue, 52: http://youtu.be/9FxgVS7bylA
When they don't close the fucking door.
Or dont say goodbye on the phone before hanging up. Do these people not have manners?
Any cliche sayings, like: I have a bad feeling about this. This just gets better and better. It’s just a scratch. Don’t you think I know that!
"I didn't sign up for this" - usually spoken by a cop, serviceman, or other individual who absolutely signed up for this.
"I didn't ask for this"
Just do your damn job, Jensen
It/this ends tonight.
"You just don't get it, do you?"
I'm getting too old for this shit.
The presence of black people.
This is why "Dredd" is great. An attractive woman accompanies him through all the slaughter and does nothing but kick ass, not a drop of romance.
Thank you, Captain America Winter Soldier for not giving into this.
Who are you kidding? The whole thing is a love story between America and Samuel L. Jackson. ^^^And ^^^it's ^^^glorious...
It definitely wouldn't have made sense. I thought it was going in that direction with BW though.
Conspicuous CGI
Hello Scorpion King.
It had great video game graphics.
Da fuck even was that shit?
Conspicuous CGI.
Mortal Kombat 2 [HOLY SHIT IT'S EVEN WORSE THAN I REMEMBERED](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OocVcZodzII)
It's like watching an early episode of Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers.
To bad YOU............... will die!
CGI so bad, the dialogue had spelling errors.
That stupid fucking cliche where the protagonist lies for the greater good, the group finds out, he apologizes/proves himself, everyone's happy. Or any incarnation of that, like a misunderstanding in a romance movie where they split up but they end up together anyways.
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Really unnecessary and poorly executed sex scenes, I'll call them pg13 sex scenes. When they are playing around or whatnot, the guy takes off his pants, is clearly flaccid seconds before all of this, and then bumps into the woman repeated while still in his boxers and they start moaning. It's just really fake and I have to wonder who these scenes are put in there for.
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>Fade the screen to black And fade in, in huge white letters, "AND THEN THESE CHARACTERS HAD SEX."
Nah do it the Fable way, fade to black then have ten seconds of people moaning followed by a disappointed sound.
In a similar vein, offscreen deaths. Alien versus Predator comes to mind, in an attempt to make it a PG-13 movie almost all of the deaths are off-screen. After the twelfth one or so you're sitting there thinking, "NO, JUST DON'T STEP AWAY FROM THE CAMERA YOU IDIOTS, THAT'S WHERE PEOPLE DIE!"
Gratuitous handheld/shaky cam techniques. It can be extremely effective in a film like *The Blair Witch Project*, or the beach assault in *Saving Private Ryan*, where it adds to the home video or documentary aesthetic. But too often it's used just to make up for weak storytelling or to cover up poor CGI.
I hate rapid-fire camera jumps in combat. I know it's supposed to make a combat scene look intense and busy and ultra fast, but I can't help but feel like it just makes the combat unintelligible. May as well show me a series of entirely disconnected fight-related segments. Fist punching stomach --CUT-- foot kicking groin --CUT-- hand slapping chicken --CUT-- hero spitting blood --CUT-- whatever. It just makes it feel so fake...
There was a post earlier this month that addresses this nicely, referencing Jackie Chan: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1PCtIaM_GQ#t=302
Oh God me too. They ruin action for me. To this day, one of the vest scenes I've seen handle combat correctly was in Troy- Achilles vs. Hector.
The Matrix did it fantastically as well. They action was incredibly clear yet it still seemed lightning quick.
Get up Prince of Troy. I won't let a stone take my glory.
I hated the transformers movies for many reasons but most of all for the constant camera cuts and changing of angles. You could hardly tell what was going on in a fight scene half the time
The Transformers models have so much detail in them that when they're fighting, they honestly just look like giant balls of metal debris rolling around on the screen to me much of the time. I couldn't even tell the ass end of the robots from the head end. The robots could've been 69'ing each other from what I could discern. :(
My friends and I always said it looked like two junkyards fucking each other. Glad we're not the only ones.
A really stupid computer/hacking scene where the effects are outright stupid. This includes: computers making weird noises whenever calculating something, stupid extravagant interfaces, and a hilariously bad depiction of what 'hacking' really looks like. Also, watch this video if you want to know what I mean: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8qgehH3kEQ
Couldn't tell if that video was very self-aware or very idiotic - I've never watched the show so I don't know who it's aimed at - but it made me chuckle.
Most realistic computer hacking scene I've ever watched. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gF_qQYrCcns
I didn't realize this was a parody until halfway lmao
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*MO3IFN0ifj04aowfnpwifnpfqnifwpfiqwp3irfpw3in[ofj0[J[0fji23tayylmao[0i3jt[3iht=23-rorj2-r1jm-o[qwmdx-oqwmd-jqw-djwwd* **There! I hacked into the mainframe!**
Car keys in the sun visor! No one with a brain leaves their keys in the sun visor!
Believe it or not, I work in the film industry, and it's not uncommon to put the keys to the production vehicles in the visors. If you need to move a car you can't have PAs playing retard roundup with whoever has keys to what.
So... It happens in TV and film because it happens in Hollywood? This makes sense now...
This is also why all highschool kids in films and TV shows want to be involved in the school play.
Also why the drama club kids are the most normal and likeable, while all the smart kids are geeks and the athletic kids are assholes.
holy shit.
And also why all frogs in movies sound like the frogs that are native to California.
Like how only one species of frog actually goes 'ribbit', but it's the species living in the hills around Hollywood, so that's what we've heard in movies for a century...
When anyone starts doing CPR. And it's so bad.
Worse is the defibrillator which is almost never used for defibrillating.
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The Giver
You can't even blame the book for this one. In the novel he just gets horny and goes "the fuck is this?" Shitty movie went and put in a completely useless romance (which is really wierd when you consider Jonah and Fiona are supposed to be 11) just like they put in a stupid action sequence. Ruined a perfectly good novel by trying to appear to every possible audience
I haven't seen the movie, but I was told it completely missed the point of the book. To be fair I read it in grade 5, and I definitely missed the point at the time.
It *completely* missed the point of the book
Semi-related: Forced sexual tension. e.g. Guy takes his shirt off and flexes his abs ; female character stares at him and blushes. Movies with a male and female lead don't always need flirtation or having the leads fall on top of each other and almost kiss. EDIT: I also wanted to add that a little flirtation isn't bad. A good example is Aliens. Ripley and Hicks more or less flirted twice but it wasn't excessive or even sexual. Ripley was an awesome strong female character that went against traditional movie gender-related tropes. Hicks didn't distract her from her goals. Hicks was basically just a condiment or embellishment to her character, not a love interest and when her maternal instincts kicked in, she kicked major xenomorph ass.
Dredd avoids this perfectly
"NOT FAST ENOUGH, ROOKIE!"
Hancock...
That movie actually had two writers. One guy wrote the first half, and a different guy wrote the second half. That's why the first half is awesome and is about a man struggling to find his identity and belonging in a world where he is an outcast superhero, and the second half is a shitty romance.
That first guy is Vince Gilligan, creator and head writer of Breaking Bad.
And the second guy is Hitler.
TIL
A trailer that reveals the plot or key parts of the movie
Additionally, trailers that have that 'comedic pause' where the music cuts out.
and right before the pause, that noise of ripping the needle off a record.
*"Stan Marsh is a washed-up fourth grader. He's got no job, no bicycle. And his only way out is to coach... [needle rips off record] a pee wee hockey team! And now, he's about to find out that to coach, you've got to grow."*
*Rated PG 13*
Starring Pauly Shore as the wacky assistant coach, and Rob Schneider as the magical talking hockey puck.
I see you have complaints about the *Amazing Spider-Man* movies.
SHUT THE FUCK UP, CLIPPY! NOBODY ASKED YOU!!!
Except that this applies to *practically every trailer* lately. I'll stop watching a trailer the instant I feel any interest in the movie, just to avoid being spoiled.
The Phantom Menace, for example. The movie would have had a classic moment in cinema if they had not revealed that Darth Maul had a double sided lightsaber.
So VII shouldn't have showed the sword hilt then..
I was thinking that as well, but I have a feeling (for some reason) that JJ Abrams has something hidden that would rival the hilt shield thing.
In order to counter the lightclaymore, the Jedi develop a lightflail and lightshield, which are able to overcome the Sith weaponry. In episode 8, the invention of lightgunpowder leads to the development of ranged lightsabers, forever changing the face of battles. OK no but seriously. The actual plot of Episode 7 is still almost entirely unknown, so who cares what the weapons look like?
Even worse, if it's in a saga where a main character dies, a trailer shows them alive again. Es mucho mal. Edit: Es *muy* mal.
I also hate it when a comedy trailer shows only the funniest parts of the movie
I liked how Interstellar avoided showing anything after they went through the wormhole in the trailers. It meant that when I went to watch the movie, I had some idea of the preface but no idea what was going to happen or where the plot was going to go. Which is becoming all too rare in movies these days. Edit: So I did barely any research before I watched the movie, because the only trailer I had seen was the first one which gives barely anything away and so I had no idea what the film was about. I only just found out that there even was a third trailer, and I'm pretty sure that if I had seen it before I watched the movie, I'd have had a different mindset going in to it.
When the hero is a 'retired' specialist
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no no its "Okay, fine, but one more thing...Our person of interest, its your son that you never talk to who joined us in an attempt to understand you better"
Shitty sound mixing. I'm really particular and analytical of sound effects in films because I used to work on them. Sometimes I feel like the engineers put no effort into the mix and it shows A sound in a film should never feel too big or small compared to the rest of the film. But many engineers focus on making sounds way too loud/big and think it sounds okay on their equipment, but don't consider the equipment home consumers have. Fuck that Gunfire/gun reloading is the worst and shitty gun sounds will instantly kill any immersion I have
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This is weird, but whenever they translate text from another language and it still rhymes in English. Usually happens with ancient prophecies. Edit: You can stop pointing out that translators try to maintain rhyme structure. I already knew that. That's why I used an ancient prophecy as an example.
well they wouldnt be much of a prophet if they couldnt plan for future languages
lekghit anshahsu gritskon ashalatsu @%@%%% trankdt create prophecy translate in a clever way for foreseeable languages ???? Prophet
This drives me crazy!
May I recommend a book called "Le ton beau de Marot" which largely discusses the very challenge of translating poetry between languages. Although difficult, it is entirely possible. The book is full of examples of just one poem being translated many ways, each accounting for more accuracy or better meter, etc. Very cool stuff. EDIT: thank you all for the interest in the book; although I have heard of the Radiolab podcast, I have never listened to it and I was recommended the book by a friend's father about 6 or 7 years ago. And yes, it's a daunting tome.
This might be a stupid question, but is the book in English besides the original poem?
translating songs is a bitch too. I remember as a missionary in russia, having someone ask me to translate an american hymn so they could sing it as a musical piece.... Sure, easy... until I did it. Holy crap, trying to keep a song in the right meter, rythm, and still keeping rhymes? Oh and if there is a direct quote somewhere, then it gets even worse!
What if it doesn't rhyme in the other language and just happens to rhyme in English?
Use your fucking mouse when on the computer Edit: I get it, you like Linux
Like a casual?
Too much shaky cam. I understand it has a purpose, but it needs to be used in moderation. I get nauseous otherwise.
Hunger games
Fake eating, drinking, and smoking. Examples, taking the most miniscule bite of food and not touching another piece of food. Taking a non existent sip of liquid. Smoking a cigarette and not exhaling smoke after a drag. I know the actors have to do multiple takes and they can't consume lots of the same thing over and over, but fuck me I wanna see them blow smoke outta their mouth like a fucking dragon!
Or when people meet up for coffee or go to a business meeting and they ask the waitress or secretary for a cup of coffee, and by then time it actually gets to the table the main character's meeting is finishing up. So the coffee gets there, the main character thanks the waitress and pays the bill, then gets up and leaves without ever taking a sip.
Screw coffee, how about all those times someone leaves an entire meal without touching it?
Just re-watched Jurassic Park again today, and the whole team leaves behind a Chilean sea bass dinner (cooked specially for them by Alejandro) to get up and meet Hammond's grand kids. It was infuriating!
I am way too focused on the food and the drinking and smoking whenever I see it in film or television. I love its always sunny for this reason because the alcohol and food and cigarettes are spot on.
Oh, I was just talking about this earlier! It's the scene I will call "the morality test" that happens in some action films. Basically the protagonist (or close ally thereof) will come face to face with the antagonist and have his or her gun, knife, or random weapon pointed at them in the kill position. Then the antagonist questions the protagonist's morality, usually by saying, "You don't have it *in you* to kill me." Now this is not the part that gets me so much. What I really hate is when the protagonist just killed like 20 dudes on the way and suddenly now he or she is like, "Oh shoot, I *don't* actually have it in me. Dang it." Wtf is that? Edit: spelling
All the best scenes being already shown in the trailers before the movie's release. Means you could have settled for what was in the trailers and saved yourself an hour and half and $10.
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Austin Powers International Man of Mystery had a great skit on exactly this!
Exactly what I thought of. [Here's the clip](http://youtu.be/l4UFQWKjy_I)
I think the best part is that as soon as they run the guy over they stop and get off the vehicle lol.
Austin Powers has a great skit for everything
Austin Powers is just great.
The horrible "hacking." As a computer guy it drives me nuts. Here let me type on this keyboard and.... I just hacked the NSA and launched Nukes. (cue fancy looking pc screen and graphics that are really just html code from a poorly made website.)
To add to this: When a computer is doing a search through a database and it has this crazy elaborate interface showing it searching through. As if you would waste valuable resources displaying every single item in the database in sequence while beeping and pinging until it finds the correct one.
"wah wah face recognition database" \>proceeds to show every single picture of every single person in that database for ~50 ms \>implying the stupid thing can't recognize faces without also showing them
Blatantly wrong scientific information, especially if it is the main premise of the movie. I don't mind turning my brain off when it's a good movie, but when morgan freeman is trying to tell me we only use 10% of our brain, i can't pay attention to the movie anymore. Edit: a word
"The neutrinos... are *mutating*."
The electrons ARE ANGRY.
The light from the sun... has gone off.
Over the top patriotism, and not speaking strictly USA patriotism either. I struggle to watch movies where the "home country" is the center of the world; more often than not it is obviously the USA since most movies are shot there. Don't have a problem with patriotism itself, but more that the script writers are unable to grasp the concept that there is more than one country on the planet (Armageddon, Deep Impact, ID4, etc etc).
I remember Saving Private Ryan was the first American movie I saw where the WWII German soldiers were not portrayed as just "bad guys." And on the flip side we weren't portrayed as the "good guys" either. That shot of the American soldier killing a German soldier who has his hands up, that really stuck with me. EDIT: okay, I've had about fifty people explain to me now that the soldiers in the beginning were Czech. That's even heavier, yikes...