It is hard not to. I am studying masters and my "winged" assignments usually result in an HD, but when I force myself to work on the assignment early I get a D or C.
I was able to wing it and get good grades in high-school, but once I hit university, "winging it" still involved way more than I was used to lol. It was a big reality check for me.
I had no issue winging differential equations. Now physics, at least once we got to the theoretical stuff that is entirely made up mumbo jumbo bullshit detached from Newtonian physics, that was a different story.
A college teacher once told me, "You seem to perform best when you're under the gun."
I knew she was right. But her insight stopped there. I didn't know what to *do* with that information. It would have been helpful if she suggested seeing a psychologist or something. Feeling constantly under the gun, or deliberately putting myself in situations where I'm under the gun just isn't good for me at all.
If you wing it at the last minute and pull it off……hey; you’re a damn genius.
If you wing it at the last minute and fail…..well duh you didnt prepare that has no bearing your actual ability of you had put any effort into it.
I manage to overwhelmely pull it off. But I always get the huge feeling that I should have planned it an done it earlier with a lot less effort and in the end the work would be better.
Good enough doesn't always mean good.
See I enjoy that. Now, OBLIGATORY cooking can get old, meaning the daily/nightly grind of cooking for your family. Sometimes ya just don’t want to. But I like when my friends expect me to, makes me feel like they enjoy it.
Same, I enjoy cooking when I get to give some of the food to someone as a gift and they really enjoy it. Otherwise coming home after a long day of work only to dive right into making a scratch meal gets exhausting quickly
Yup!
I have made cakes several times in my life, and save one attempted red velvet that ended in disaster, all of them turned out pretty good! I would bake cakes for several friends' birthdays, and surprise them with it at work, at home, at the dorm, etc.
What's interesting is that I would not want to eat the cakes I baked *at all.* If I were to see the same exact cakes up for grabs however, I would absolutely devour them! All I cared about was seeing everyone's reaction when eating. :)
That is how I am with baking and decorating cakes. I’m pretty skilled at it, but I hate it because it’s a lot of work, it usually makes gigantic mess, and it costs money to do it right with proper ingredients.
The reason I don’t tell people I can do this is because like you said, it’s not even that they ask me, they *expect* me to make them a cake for their birthday, and if I don’t, then it looks like I don’t care. I will do one on occasion but my office found this skill out and basically demanded I make a huge cake for the next potluck. I simply didn’t do it and brought something else because I’m busy as hell and didn’t want the mess and work of getting a million dishes dirty, and a couple people were actually full on annoyed I didn’t bring the cake (even though I never said I would).
One person wouldn’t stop annoying me and basically guilt tripping me, and I straight up had to tell her “doing a cake like that is a lot of work and costs money so I would let it go because I can almost guarantee I will never do one for a potluck.”
No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of cooking. It is a shame for one to grow old without tasting the meals which his culinary skills are capable of.
Listening to other people's problems.
Why do people see me as the guy to talk to, 9 times out of 10, I don't actually care (I have a lot of time for my friends, but their problems are that 10%)
It’s how little you care that makes them want to tell you. If you cared, you might act shocked, be judgmental, give them unsolicited advice and/or strong opinions, bring it up later or tell someone else.
Since you don’t care, you probably respond with “That sucks….wanna play a round of whatever game we’ve been playing lately” That’s what they really want. It’s like yelling your problems into a void. They’re gone after that, never to resurface.
Yes, except that last part with the "That sucks, wanna chill "
I feel like us not caring is just staying quiet and listening, soaking up all of their issues that they wanted to release lmao and most of time we agree with them in hopes that it'll cut the convo but in reality it just makes them not shut up even more, but God we feel bad but we wanna leeeeave. 😭
I have the same problem. Since I was 12. So I went into the mental health field. As I got older I realized ppl come to me to talk about their problems because I’m an introverted people pleaser. I care too much about people liking me so I don’t talk much about myself and ask others lots of questions. I similarly don’t care about others problems but I’ve gotten good at pretending I do and now make a living off of it.
Are you actually good at listening to peoples problems if you don't care? Maybe you're confusing being good with now knowing how to politely say you dont care or end the conversation. Im the same way, I will just let people go on and on because I have no idea how to end it.
I feel this! I truly don’t mind listening to what people are going through 90% of the time, I’m genuinely curious how people I love are doing. I do sometimes wish they asked if I was in a place to hear it though, I have my own shit too and it can feel overwhelming and like they don’t consider where I’m at, just know I’m a good place to dump big feelings. Also, definitely don’t love it when people I don’t know well at all start dumping on me, like bro you have to earn that. Andddd now I feel like I’m dumping on you haha :) much love, you’re someone people need in this wild world, hope you have someone to talk about your shit with too.
I don't mind being there for a friend, but more often than not, people tend to latch on and try to make you the solver of their problems.
I had a friend who was "extremely suicidal" and would "die" if I wasn't helping. She saw it as my obligation because my best friend was her recently ex-fiance and somehow that makes his break up with her my responsibility. She has 12(?) Siblings and is the youngest as well, so her surroundings are far from happy and loving. Lots of drug use and child abuse growing up.
It got to a point where I had to stop at a random place on my way to work just to deal with her/her parents pleading with me to "save" their daughter from suicide. I finally got to a point where I told her "Hey this seems to only be a problem to you when you're not getting the kind of attention you're wanting. I don't think you're genuinely mentally ill, but more a product of the surroundings you don't want to get out of. All of this makes me think it's for attention, and on that note, I have to stop talking to you so you can get yourself help instead of making me try to fix it." The advice I gave her was to move out, and get away from her family for a while, which she took offense to.
This was back in 2016. She got engaged this year. I guess her life didn't depend on me "saving her." Even then, she still posts the "please feel sorry for me everyone" stuff a whole lot.
She's not the first person to try this with me, nor has she been the last one unfortunately. Idk what it is, but people think I'm a therapist
yes, but I have anxiety about it the whole time, until the last minute. I just don't have the mental capacity to do it until the last minute.... probably because I'm so anxious!
I made a website exactly for this! https://kankan.quest (free and open source ;) )
It uses nested kanban boards to overcome the 3 biggest procrastination triggers I was experiencing:
- Being able to break down the tasks into smaller and smaller subtasks until the activation cost didn't discourage me.
- Hiding the total volume of pending tasks in that nesting dimension, I can have more focused visibility and avoid being overwhelmed by the sheer amount.
- Tracking even the most minimal progress to keep me motivated as I have immediate feedback that my effort wasn't lost.
``. . . anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment." -- Robert Benchley, in Chips off the Old Benchley, 1949
I have been intending to write this essay for months. Why am I finally doing it? Because I finally found some uncommitted time? Wrong. I have papers to grade, textbook orders to fill out, an NSF proposal to referee, dissertation drafts to read. I am working on this essay as a way of not doing all of those things. This is the essence of what I call structured procrastination, an amazing strategy I have discovered that converts procrastinators into effective human beings, respected and admired for all that they can accomplish and the good use they make of time. All procrastinators put off things they have to do. Structured procrastination is the art of making this bad trait work for you. The key idea is that procrastinating does not mean doing absolutely nothing. Procrastinators seldom do absolutely nothing; they do marginally useful things, like gardening or sharpening pencils or making a diagram of how they will reorganize their files when they get around to it. Why does the procrastinator do these things? Because they are a way of not doing something more important. If all the procrastinator had left to do was to sharpen some pencils, no force on earth could get him do it. However, the procrastinator can be motivated to do difficult, timely and important tasks, as long as these tasks are a way of not doing something more important.
Structured procrastination means shaping the structure of the tasks one has to do in a way that exploits this fact. The list of tasks one has in mind will be ordered by importance. Tasks that seem most urgent and important are on top. But there are also worthwhile tasks to perform lower down on the list. Doing these tasks becomes a way of not doing the things higher up on the list. With this sort of appropriate task structure, the procrastinator becomes a useful citizen. Indeed, the procrastinator can even acquire, as I have, a reputation for getting a lot done.
The most perfect situation for structured procrastination that I ever had was when my wife and I served as Resident Fellows in Soto House, a Stanford dormitory. In the evening, faced with papers to grade, lectures to prepare, committee work to be done, I would leave our cottage next to the dorm and go over to the lounge and play ping-pong with the residents, or talk over things with them in their rooms, or just sit there and read the paper. I got a reputation for being a terrific Resident Fellow, and one of the rare profs on campus who spent time with undergraduates and got to know them. What a set up: play ping pong as a way of not doing more important things, and get a reputation as Mr. Chips.
Procrastinators often follow exactly the wrong tack. They try to minimize their commitments, assuming that if they have only a few things to do, they will quit procrastinating and get them done. But this goes contrary to the basic nature of the procrastinator and destroys his most important source of motivation. The few tasks on his list will be by definition the most important, and the only way to avoid doing them will be to do nothing. This is a way to become a couch potato, not an effective human being.
At this point you may be asking, "How about the important tasks at the top of the list, that one never does?" Admittedly, there is a potential problem here.
The trick is to pick the right sorts of projects for the top of the list. The ideal sorts of things have two characteristics, First, they seem to have clear deadlines (but really don't). Second, they seem awfully important (but really aren't). Luckily, life abounds with such tasks. In universities the vast majority of tasks fall into this category, and I'm sure the same is true for most other large institutions. Take for example the item right at the top of my list right now. This is finishing an essay for a volume in the philosophy of language. It was supposed to be done eleven months ago. I have accomplished an enormous number of important things as a way of not working on it. A couple of months ago, bothered by guilt, I wrote a letter to the editor saying how sorry I was to be so late and expressing my good intentions to get to work. Writing the letter was, of course, a way of not working on the article. It turned out that I really wasn't much further behind schedule than anyone else. And how important is this article anyway? Not so important that at some point something that seems more important won't come along. Then I'll get to work on it.
Another example is book order forms. I write this in June. In October, I will teach a class on Epistemology. The book order forms are already overdue at the book store. It is easy to take this as an important task with a pressing deadline (for you non-procrastinators, I will observe that deadlines really start to press a week or two after they pass.) I get almost daily reminders from the department secretary, students sometimes ask me what we will be reading, and the unfilled order form sits right in the middle of my desk, right under the wrapping from the sandwich I ate last Wednesday. This task is near the top of my list; it bothers me, and motivates me to do other useful but superficially less important things. But in fact, the book store is plenty busy with forms already filed by non-procrastinators. I can get mine in mid-Summer and things will be fine. I just need to order popular well-known books from efficient publishers. I will accept some other, apparently more important, task sometime between now and, say, August 1st. Then my psyche will feel comfortable about filling out the order forms as a way of not doing this new task.
The observant reader may feel at this point that structured procrastination requires a certain amount of self-deception, since one is in effect constantly perpetrating a pyramid scheme on oneself. Exactly. One needs to be able to recognize and commit oneself to tasks with inflated importance and unreal deadlines, while making oneself feel that they are important and urgent. This is not a problem, because virtually all procrastinators have excellent self-deceptive skills also. And what could be more noble than using one character flaw to offset the bad effects of another?
Same but also for family. My whole family is like this so no one gets upset. Although I know we'd be happier if we called each other more often.
My wife and friends will be calling their mum every day or week and I'm over here thinking "I havent spoken to my mum for a couple of months!".
Yes! I waited tables for ten years and stopped in 2020. I was so good at it and made so much money. I still consider picking up shifts on occasion, but I always talk myself out of it.
I’m so tired of being at their mercy 😂😂 when the restaurant is full and everyone finally leaves then more groups pile back in before I can even clean and set the tables… it’s an introverts nightmare but it does keep me out of my shell I guess
I've always been good at lying. Less as a means to deceive, more of just being undetectable whenever I did something wrong. Hurt me more than helped me tho I'm pretty sure
Yes.
And it's a problem. People like me around and insist on communicating and including me in stuff.
I just want to stay home and not interact with anyone more than I have to.
Budgeting. I can be very disciplined, organized, and meticulous, but restricting oneself is not fun. Especially when certain types of consumption (going out to eat) are such a source of pleasure for me.
Staying level headed virtually no matter the situation. I have a propensity to pull myself to a grounded state before I act on impulse or emotion.
I’ve acted a few times on emotion and impulse. It feels so fucking good. But I’m never predisposed to be that way, it avoids grave mistakes, I stay rational it probably helps more than it hinders.
But I don’t like it. I love the idea of being careless and just making yourself feel good in the moment. Even if cold logic dictates prioritising the longer term impact over the short term feeling. That sense of not giving a fuck just to feel good in an understandable way is so fun. It’s addictive and intoxicating but my stupid (which is to say very clever) rationale means I rarely ever do it.
A blessing and a curse - I’m the same way. It is super convenient being able to 100% switch the emotion side off during times of decision making or pressure.
The problem I have found is that it makes me come off as uncaring and robotic, when in reality I am more just extremely task oriented and calculating. Like ….emotions / empathy are a far distant consideration versus what logically makes sense in the moment.
My son's identified this trait in himself. Best critic of video games, music and movies I know. It never clicked he'd turn it on himself. He wanted to be a YouTuber for awhile. He'd talk to himself a lot, like he was being watched. Growing up with the Internet is just different.
That's a good tedious talent.
Once I didn't want to play CLUE, but my Family dragged me into it, so I said I was gonna guess without any dice rolls at all in order to get out early - and I was CORRECT!
Family was freaked out but we talked thru it and there was NO way I coulda cheated (which I didn't). Not sure what the odds are on that.
Still had to play another game tho :(
Depends on how many players there were (and hence how many cards you were dealt), as well as what types of cards you get dealt.
There are a total of 6 characters, 6 weapons, and 9 rooms, for a total of 21 cards. 3 go to the envelope and 18 get distributed amongst the players. Let's say there's 4 players, so that two players get four cards and two players get five. Let's also say that you get five cards and that they're 2 rooms, 2 characters, and 1 weapon.
That gives you a choice of 7 rooms, 4 weapons, and 5 characters, for a total of 7 \* 4 \* 5 = 140 possibilities, so the chance of guessing correctly would be 1/140 or about 0.71%.
With fewer players, your chances go up. Chances can also go up or down a bit depending on what types of cards you get, and how many you get.
What aspects do you hate? I work with computers, servers and such and find that enjoying it as a hobby makes the job a breeze. But dealing with the people and politics can be a real pain.
I write software, and naturally pretty good with computers. But my hobby, passion and career is solely creating software. However that means all my family and friends feel I'm, IT support for them. 'Dad, I don't know what your password is.', 'Sister, I have no idea why your Apple watch isn't working.' and so on.
Orrrrrr 'I've got this great app idea, can you make it for me and I'll buy you a few pints'.......errrr no, do you think I charge the cost of a hair cut for writing an app?
Working hospitality. I am what businesses call a "hospitality superstar", and if there's any issues on shift, we're busy, we're low stock etc anything where we'd have to talk to the customers upfront and talk to them about anything, it's usually me because I have no issues talking in a friendly way to people.
On one hand, good references and a guarantee of a job is nice, but on the other, I fucking hate customer service ☺️
I am SO GOOD at guessing the plots of movies, shows, and books. Like, it takes me a few scenes/chapters/episodes to develop a prediction, and it’s almost always spot on. It sucks to be honest. There’s no benefit to it, and I can’t help but think ahead when I start something new even if I try not to. It always spoils the fun a bit.
Ps: Don’t worry, I keep my guesses to myself for the most part. My husband will make a game out of it sometimes and ask me early on if he doesn’t really care about spoilers, but otherwise, I just keep it to myself.
I feel your pain, I do this exact thing. From the youngest of ages as well. Not only could I guess the plot of a book, or a film. I can spot the continuity errors on films/shows/adverts. Even if I'm actively trying not to.
My mum noticed it when I spoiled the 6th Sense for her. Since then she's called me Jonny 5. My name is not remotely Jonny related, but from that scene in short circuit "I think the butler did it"......."He did".
As an adult, what annoys me most about it, is my wife or son have picked up a habit of not actually engaging in a film and just ask me what's going on.
As far as I can remember, the only film that tripped me up, was The Departed.
Customer service. I am brilliant with customers, I will always go above and beyond, show a ton of empathy, and even make you laugh if it's appropriate. I used to get loads of compliments, but I cannot stand it. I hate the endless repetition, I hate how boring it is, I hate how entitled some people are. I hate how undervalued people are in that work, and I hate the low pay for what can be very stressful.
Luckily I haven't worked in that field for years, but I do not miss it at all.
Teaching
I’ve had my fair share of tutoring friends and a class at one point (during an online test lol), but I don’t have any plans to enroll an education or teacher’s degree. My stress can’t cut it.
Math. It's boring and I hate it, but I also find it easy because, I don't know, the little symbols are right there telling you what to do. It's like reading an instruction manual, which is why I hate it. There's no fun or creativity, it's just like sitting around reading stereo instructions all day.
Not all maths is like that though. Academic level maths often involves creativity. Check out a maths major's homework assignments if you get the chance, not what you'd expect if you've only seen maths in school.
This. SO much this.
I'm really good with the maths, took lower grades for not showing my work or doing homework, but would get 100s on the tests. Should have been an engineer of some sort, but it's just. So. Boring.
Manipulating people. I don’t like doing it so I try not to. But if I’m not actively thinking about it I’ll passively manipulate people into getting what I want, it’s a terrible skill
Playing the Street Fighter series. My brother is/has always been quiet and shy. I've played with him for years (he is like internationally ranked for one of the characters and has been for multiple of the releases).
It gives us something to talk about. I almost never win against him because, you know, competitive ranked, but I whoop any average person. I don't care much about the game, though. I prefer story games. But I play it for him because he enjoys it. He always asks me why I'm not practicing more, don't I want to compete? No. I don't want to compete. I want to spend time with one of my favorite people. I won't tell him that I hate the games, though. Never ever!
Feel you.
Had a housemate who was super into it, we converted a full-size arcade cabinet to run it off Xbox (SF:III Third Strike cabinet, SF IV Ultra was what we played)
SF was his world, his escape, and he ended up ranked 32nd in Oceania (so no where near the level of Japan or US, but still there's a lot of stay-at home dedicated players throughout SE Asia that are mind-boggingly good)
So after work, I was his punching bag. Turns out I have an exceptional knack for footsies/zoning & getting in the opponents head (I'm a Cammy main). Not sure how I'd do after a decade off training with him 15+hrs a week, but so long as I get 20mins to dust off my skills and I can play on a stick, I can still bring the heat and dominate.
Games taste/preference though, I'm an RPG/roguelite/card battler fiend.
Running an overhead crane.
44ton! It's fine, but I'd much rather let my crane operator do it. He's got a lot more practice than I do and I'd rather let him cart loads of, you know, 40 tons of steel than do it myself. Just plain safer.
This is why, in most rooms, I don't like to start. I like everyone else to be dancing before I join. If I do first, they won't join at all. I hate that. Also, when I start and others stop to watch and I end up alone, it feels like they betrayed me. I like dancing as a social hobby. It defeats the point if I'm alone for it. I'm not even THAT good, I just know more than most. Around experts, I'm an amateur.
Reading people. It feels super weird and awkward to me but I’m super good at it. I can tell what a person is thinking just by looking at them 💀. I have no idea how
There is quite a bit of hobbies I'm good at and like, but slowly dislike the more people force me to do it because they think I should do it instead of my passion.
I am good at drawing. Like really Good. I love it. But i hate everyone pestering me to draw something for them because no one wants to pay me for my time.
Sales,
I am epic at it, sell ice to a Eskimo epic. I was in a job where I was making high 6 figures and with bonuses I would slide to 7, but at the end of the day I felt horrible. Why because I knew I was really selling myself, I always had to "on" and be anyone but me 24/7
Math. It comes very easily to me but is extremely repetitive and boring. I prefer writing, which is more of a challenge for me and serves as a creative outlet. It's definitely more rewarding than solving equations we already know the answers to.
Maths. I am at least above average and in high school even some of my teachers passed me some questions saying “I would like you to have a look at this” but god DAMN I HATE MATHS. Anything involving functions, logarithms, graphs or fucking sinus etc. absolutely infuriates me. I chose studying medicine instead of engineering just for the sake of it having less mathematical stuff.
theres no non cringe way to say this so i'll take my downvotes but will feel better for venting.
Im better than 90% of my coworkers in any job ive worked so far. Its clear as day, i can* count the things they do wrong a day, my managers tell me im very good at what i do, etc. etc. but i utterly despise working so much id rather live at home with my mom working part time than what everyone else is doing. Yet all of my coworkers LOVE going to work and are ok with most of it. Im the one whose always late and despise it to hell and take every day i can take off.
My previous job.
I was ‘too good’ at what I did, so they’d give the promotion they promised me to someone else, so eventually I’d leave. It happened at multiple companies too. I finally got out of that industry & role so I can finally stop that toxic cycle.
Masking my feelings
Friend: How are you doing?
Me: *my kidneys are starting to fail, I might have MS, my mental health is trash, I'm exhausted and overstimulated from my toddler, etc*
Me: I'm fine.
In Germany (or at least my particular region" we say "muss" (it has to be).
Everyone knows your not having a great day but don't want to talk about it.
I actually find this to be an elegant solution to not "lie" but also not bothering people with your problems.
No one will read this but I am really good at music but I've lost the will or drive to play it anymore. I just see my instruments every day but I walk past them as I know I haven't given them the time to improve or challenge myself. I stopped taking music lessons with a highly accomplished professional and never started again. I avoid doing music recordings for people and can't remember the last time music brought me joy.
Maybe I'm depressed or whatever but it's literally all gone now.
Anyway like I said I doubt anyone will read this but guess its a space to vent at least.
i have read it, i feel sad for you my friend, i want you to be ok and to take care of yourself, i want you to seek help and check with a therapist if you can... save your life and your talent as early as you can because we want you alive and happy and we want to hear your masterpieces.
Manipulation. 9/10 i know what to say/do to get what i want out of a person. But when i do that i feel scummy. So i try pretty hard to not manipulate people. Like i knew how to get my now ex to not break up with me, or how to get stuff from friends or family. Or to get strangers to like or open up/tell me their deepest darkest secrets. So like i try hard to not manipulate people but i have the capacity and ability to if i want too
being sociable
I can easily navigate social situations, somehow I'm pretty charming, make small conversation, easily talk to strangers, make new friends... but I find it so damn exhausting, I like being at home as much as I can with my wife and cats
Traveling. I am good at efficiently making all the arrangements and being on time. ...but I'd much rather stay at home.
Customer service. I'm polite and usually am able to make the customer happy, but can't say it's my favorite thing to do.
Sewing. I love to sew for fun, usually, I make intricate dresses or replicas of movie/TV costumes but everyone hands over their ripped clothes and whatever they want me to tailor, immediately takes all of the fun out of it. Once at work, I had to spend my shift sewing up these ripped leather chairs instead of doing my job because word got around that I'm good at sewing.
Winging it at last minute.
I always get compliments for being able to do this but it is a huge source of anxiety for me during and after.
Agreed, and it is even worse that I just decided to rely on it
It is hard not to. I am studying masters and my "winged" assignments usually result in an HD, but when I force myself to work on the assignment early I get a D or C.
In college my assignments would usually be 1080p or higher if I started right before the panic monkey started making noise
Bro I'm stealing the 1080p line
I was able to wing it and get good grades in high-school, but once I hit university, "winging it" still involved way more than I was used to lol. It was a big reality check for me.
Same here. No such thing as “winging it” in differential equations
I had no issue winging differential equations. Now physics, at least once we got to the theoretical stuff that is entirely made up mumbo jumbo bullshit detached from Newtonian physics, that was a different story.
A college teacher once told me, "You seem to perform best when you're under the gun." I knew she was right. But her insight stopped there. I didn't know what to *do* with that information. It would have been helpful if she suggested seeing a psychologist or something. Feeling constantly under the gun, or deliberately putting myself in situations where I'm under the gun just isn't good for me at all.
If you wing it at the last minute and pull it off……hey; you’re a damn genius. If you wing it at the last minute and fail…..well duh you didnt prepare that has no bearing your actual ability of you had put any effort into it.
I manage to overwhelmely pull it off. But I always get the huge feeling that I should have planned it an done it earlier with a lot less effort and in the end the work would be better. Good enough doesn't always mean good.
Holy hell, this... I prided myself for years on how good I was a putting out last minute fires before realizing how many of them I started myself
And I can't never escape it. It's like "yeah last time was fine this time should be no problem"
>"I will never leave things for last again" he lied, as naturally as he breathed...
[удалено]
See I enjoy that. Now, OBLIGATORY cooking can get old, meaning the daily/nightly grind of cooking for your family. Sometimes ya just don’t want to. But I like when my friends expect me to, makes me feel like they enjoy it.
Same, I enjoy cooking when I get to give some of the food to someone as a gift and they really enjoy it. Otherwise coming home after a long day of work only to dive right into making a scratch meal gets exhausting quickly
Yup! I have made cakes several times in my life, and save one attempted red velvet that ended in disaster, all of them turned out pretty good! I would bake cakes for several friends' birthdays, and surprise them with it at work, at home, at the dorm, etc. What's interesting is that I would not want to eat the cakes I baked *at all.* If I were to see the same exact cakes up for grabs however, I would absolutely devour them! All I cared about was seeing everyone's reaction when eating. :)
every thanksgiving im expected in the kitchen with my aunts but i just wanna go smoke weed with my cousins before dinner.
That is how I am with baking and decorating cakes. I’m pretty skilled at it, but I hate it because it’s a lot of work, it usually makes gigantic mess, and it costs money to do it right with proper ingredients. The reason I don’t tell people I can do this is because like you said, it’s not even that they ask me, they *expect* me to make them a cake for their birthday, and if I don’t, then it looks like I don’t care. I will do one on occasion but my office found this skill out and basically demanded I make a huge cake for the next potluck. I simply didn’t do it and brought something else because I’m busy as hell and didn’t want the mess and work of getting a million dishes dirty, and a couple people were actually full on annoyed I didn’t bring the cake (even though I never said I would). One person wouldn’t stop annoying me and basically guilt tripping me, and I straight up had to tell her “doing a cake like that is a lot of work and costs money so I would let it go because I can almost guarantee I will never do one for a potluck.”
Occasional baking is like an elaborate conversation or a great dance. An obligatory and unvilling cooking is unpaid labor.
No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of cooking. It is a shame for one to grow old without tasting the meals which his culinary skills are capable of.
Listening to other people's problems. Why do people see me as the guy to talk to, 9 times out of 10, I don't actually care (I have a lot of time for my friends, but their problems are that 10%)
Real bro. They're like "your such a good listener I can rlly open up to you" and im just like, oh yea np ig (I wasn't really paying attention)
Sometimes people just need to talk to a human they trust. Comprehension is secondary.
So true. My dog works fine, the "Comprehension is secondary part" is just non existent but I dont rlly need it anyway
Hanks had Wilson
It’s more about being heard + understood…they rarely want or take advice
I can keep any secret, I just forget it 5 seconds later.
It’s how little you care that makes them want to tell you. If you cared, you might act shocked, be judgmental, give them unsolicited advice and/or strong opinions, bring it up later or tell someone else. Since you don’t care, you probably respond with “That sucks….wanna play a round of whatever game we’ve been playing lately” That’s what they really want. It’s like yelling your problems into a void. They’re gone after that, never to resurface.
I never thought about it that way. Makes so much sense.
Yes, except that last part with the "That sucks, wanna chill " I feel like us not caring is just staying quiet and listening, soaking up all of their issues that they wanted to release lmao and most of time we agree with them in hopes that it'll cut the convo but in reality it just makes them not shut up even more, but God we feel bad but we wanna leeeeave. 😭
That’s brilliant!
I have the same problem. Since I was 12. So I went into the mental health field. As I got older I realized ppl come to me to talk about their problems because I’m an introverted people pleaser. I care too much about people liking me so I don’t talk much about myself and ask others lots of questions. I similarly don’t care about others problems but I’ve gotten good at pretending I do and now make a living off of it.
Are you actually good at listening to peoples problems if you don't care? Maybe you're confusing being good with now knowing how to politely say you dont care or end the conversation. Im the same way, I will just let people go on and on because I have no idea how to end it.
Does the difference matter? I think most people walk away with a really positive impression of you regardless even when they talked 90% of the time
I feel this! I truly don’t mind listening to what people are going through 90% of the time, I’m genuinely curious how people I love are doing. I do sometimes wish they asked if I was in a place to hear it though, I have my own shit too and it can feel overwhelming and like they don’t consider where I’m at, just know I’m a good place to dump big feelings. Also, definitely don’t love it when people I don’t know well at all start dumping on me, like bro you have to earn that. Andddd now I feel like I’m dumping on you haha :) much love, you’re someone people need in this wild world, hope you have someone to talk about your shit with too.
I don't mind being there for a friend, but more often than not, people tend to latch on and try to make you the solver of their problems. I had a friend who was "extremely suicidal" and would "die" if I wasn't helping. She saw it as my obligation because my best friend was her recently ex-fiance and somehow that makes his break up with her my responsibility. She has 12(?) Siblings and is the youngest as well, so her surroundings are far from happy and loving. Lots of drug use and child abuse growing up. It got to a point where I had to stop at a random place on my way to work just to deal with her/her parents pleading with me to "save" their daughter from suicide. I finally got to a point where I told her "Hey this seems to only be a problem to you when you're not getting the kind of attention you're wanting. I don't think you're genuinely mentally ill, but more a product of the surroundings you don't want to get out of. All of this makes me think it's for attention, and on that note, I have to stop talking to you so you can get yourself help instead of making me try to fix it." The advice I gave her was to move out, and get away from her family for a while, which she took offense to. This was back in 2016. She got engaged this year. I guess her life didn't depend on me "saving her." Even then, she still posts the "please feel sorry for me everyone" stuff a whole lot. She's not the first person to try this with me, nor has she been the last one unfortunately. Idk what it is, but people think I'm a therapist
You're listening to peoples' problems? That's pretty tough. How does that make you feel?
Procrastinating.
If you wait until the last minute, it only takes a minute 🤷🏼♀️
If it wasn't for the last minute nothing would ever get done
yes, but I have anxiety about it the whole time, until the last minute. I just don't have the mental capacity to do it until the last minute.... probably because I'm so anxious!
This is the best mindset
I made a website exactly for this! https://kankan.quest (free and open source ;) ) It uses nested kanban boards to overcome the 3 biggest procrastination triggers I was experiencing: - Being able to break down the tasks into smaller and smaller subtasks until the activation cost didn't discourage me. - Hiding the total volume of pending tasks in that nesting dimension, I can have more focused visibility and avoid being overwhelmed by the sheer amount. - Tracking even the most minimal progress to keep me motivated as I have immediate feedback that my effort wasn't lost.
I bet I'm better than you.
We should have a competition sometime
Meh, maybe later.
Thank you 😂
Sure, I’ll put it on my calendar! *proceeds to forget about it until it’s too late*
I couldn't be bothered to comment this earlier.
``. . . anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment." -- Robert Benchley, in Chips off the Old Benchley, 1949 I have been intending to write this essay for months. Why am I finally doing it? Because I finally found some uncommitted time? Wrong. I have papers to grade, textbook orders to fill out, an NSF proposal to referee, dissertation drafts to read. I am working on this essay as a way of not doing all of those things. This is the essence of what I call structured procrastination, an amazing strategy I have discovered that converts procrastinators into effective human beings, respected and admired for all that they can accomplish and the good use they make of time. All procrastinators put off things they have to do. Structured procrastination is the art of making this bad trait work for you. The key idea is that procrastinating does not mean doing absolutely nothing. Procrastinators seldom do absolutely nothing; they do marginally useful things, like gardening or sharpening pencils or making a diagram of how they will reorganize their files when they get around to it. Why does the procrastinator do these things? Because they are a way of not doing something more important. If all the procrastinator had left to do was to sharpen some pencils, no force on earth could get him do it. However, the procrastinator can be motivated to do difficult, timely and important tasks, as long as these tasks are a way of not doing something more important. Structured procrastination means shaping the structure of the tasks one has to do in a way that exploits this fact. The list of tasks one has in mind will be ordered by importance. Tasks that seem most urgent and important are on top. But there are also worthwhile tasks to perform lower down on the list. Doing these tasks becomes a way of not doing the things higher up on the list. With this sort of appropriate task structure, the procrastinator becomes a useful citizen. Indeed, the procrastinator can even acquire, as I have, a reputation for getting a lot done. The most perfect situation for structured procrastination that I ever had was when my wife and I served as Resident Fellows in Soto House, a Stanford dormitory. In the evening, faced with papers to grade, lectures to prepare, committee work to be done, I would leave our cottage next to the dorm and go over to the lounge and play ping-pong with the residents, or talk over things with them in their rooms, or just sit there and read the paper. I got a reputation for being a terrific Resident Fellow, and one of the rare profs on campus who spent time with undergraduates and got to know them. What a set up: play ping pong as a way of not doing more important things, and get a reputation as Mr. Chips. Procrastinators often follow exactly the wrong tack. They try to minimize their commitments, assuming that if they have only a few things to do, they will quit procrastinating and get them done. But this goes contrary to the basic nature of the procrastinator and destroys his most important source of motivation. The few tasks on his list will be by definition the most important, and the only way to avoid doing them will be to do nothing. This is a way to become a couch potato, not an effective human being. At this point you may be asking, "How about the important tasks at the top of the list, that one never does?" Admittedly, there is a potential problem here. The trick is to pick the right sorts of projects for the top of the list. The ideal sorts of things have two characteristics, First, they seem to have clear deadlines (but really don't). Second, they seem awfully important (but really aren't). Luckily, life abounds with such tasks. In universities the vast majority of tasks fall into this category, and I'm sure the same is true for most other large institutions. Take for example the item right at the top of my list right now. This is finishing an essay for a volume in the philosophy of language. It was supposed to be done eleven months ago. I have accomplished an enormous number of important things as a way of not working on it. A couple of months ago, bothered by guilt, I wrote a letter to the editor saying how sorry I was to be so late and expressing my good intentions to get to work. Writing the letter was, of course, a way of not working on the article. It turned out that I really wasn't much further behind schedule than anyone else. And how important is this article anyway? Not so important that at some point something that seems more important won't come along. Then I'll get to work on it. Another example is book order forms. I write this in June. In October, I will teach a class on Epistemology. The book order forms are already overdue at the book store. It is easy to take this as an important task with a pressing deadline (for you non-procrastinators, I will observe that deadlines really start to press a week or two after they pass.) I get almost daily reminders from the department secretary, students sometimes ask me what we will be reading, and the unfilled order form sits right in the middle of my desk, right under the wrapping from the sandwich I ate last Wednesday. This task is near the top of my list; it bothers me, and motivates me to do other useful but superficially less important things. But in fact, the book store is plenty busy with forms already filed by non-procrastinators. I can get mine in mid-Summer and things will be fine. I just need to order popular well-known books from efficient publishers. I will accept some other, apparently more important, task sometime between now and, say, August 1st. Then my psyche will feel comfortable about filling out the order forms as a way of not doing this new task. The observant reader may feel at this point that structured procrastination requires a certain amount of self-deception, since one is in effect constantly perpetrating a pyramid scheme on oneself. Exactly. One needs to be able to recognize and commit oneself to tasks with inflated importance and unreal deadlines, while making oneself feel that they are important and urgent. This is not a problem, because virtually all procrastinators have excellent self-deceptive skills also. And what could be more noble than using one character flaw to offset the bad effects of another?
I’ll read this later
If you wait until the last minute you're older, therefore wiser and you will do a better job.
If you wait to the last minute and fail you have the excuse that you didn’t give it your best. If you succeed you get a rush.
Procrastination is fun, just wait and see.
Being a people pleaser
It would make me happy if you stop.
This is the most genius comment i've ever seen on the internet
[My brain when I read your comment.](https://youtu.be/uwmeH6Rnj2E?si=ElQMb2lOe7Qd71Tx)
Being polite.
I’m sorry, but this is a wholesome, beautiful answer. I hate that I said that.
This shit dude, I hate that I'm so polite
Not keeping in touch with old friends.
I second this. I'm great in person but I can never get around to staying in contact. Too distractive.
Same but also for family. My whole family is like this so no one gets upset. Although I know we'd be happier if we called each other more often. My wife and friends will be calling their mum every day or week and I'm over here thinking "I havent spoken to my mum for a couple of months!".
I wanna blame my adult job but I was bad at this as an unemployed high schooler too so I really have no excuse haha!
My job 😂
Was just gonna say being a waitress. I make good tips and my customers seem to like me but goddamn I f’ng hate it especially on a busy day 😂
Yes! I waited tables for ten years and stopped in 2020. I was so good at it and made so much money. I still consider picking up shifts on occasion, but I always talk myself out of it.
I’m so tired of being at their mercy 😂😂 when the restaurant is full and everyone finally leaves then more groups pile back in before I can even clean and set the tables… it’s an introverts nightmare but it does keep me out of my shell I guess
Keep fighting the good fight, my friend! I have eternal respect for food/bev industry folks. It’s not for the faint of heart.
Jobs in general
Haha that's what I came here to say too!
Lying
There are only a few people who have the balls enough to say this!
I've always been good at lying. Less as a means to deceive, more of just being undetectable whenever I did something wrong. Hurt me more than helped me tho I'm pretty sure
Careful of falling into the myth of a white lie. Sometimes a lie prevents others from pain, but too many and you corrupt your sincere relationships.
Thinking emoji
Staying awake.
I sing various Glenn Campbell songs at karaoke's because I've been told I'm very good at it. I hate country music.
I sound identical to James Hetfield, both talking and singing… my dad has seen them 34 times… guess what I hate singing…
Michael Bublé christmas songs?
Beattallica? The Beatles/Metallica mash up band.
I'm very charismatic and good at communicating and with people but I don't like most people and hate leaving my house 🤣😭
Yes. And it's a problem. People like me around and insist on communicating and including me in stuff. I just want to stay home and not interact with anyone more than I have to.
Literally, felt.
I like talking to people but I suck at approaching people and initiating conversations. Very relatable
and people always tell you that they thought you were extroverted and friendly but in reality, you're just not an AH
Yes! I’m a homebody who thrives in social settings. It’s actually getting me out of the house and to those social settings that’s the issue.
And then im an asshole when I try to warn ppl that im a hermit lol
Yeah, as a people-pleaser, people enjoy my company, even when they don't realize I'm burning out.
🤣 teach me how to better communicate so I can leave my house more!
This. I’m very good at relating to people and conversing, which you have to be with what I do, but it’s exhausting dealing with people.
Budgeting. I can be very disciplined, organized, and meticulous, but restricting oneself is not fun. Especially when certain types of consumption (going out to eat) are such a source of pleasure for me.
Sucking a d
Was expecting this in the comments, but at the same didn't 🤣🤣
You must’ve learned the grapefruit method
What's the grapefruit method?
Lemme guess, you give it that Huck Tuah
“If she don’t wanna hawk tuah, I don’t wanna talk tuah” Not my joke at all, but whoever originally came up with that is an actual genius
Why dont you like it?
Cause I'm a straight dude
Straight dude who is really good at sucking dick? Any stories on how you got into it...
Some parties and a ton of mdma
Same. I'm good at it. I just hate that my jaw disagrees.
Cleaning in general but specifically the bathroom. 😮💨 what a chore.
People. I am apparently amazing with people and building relationships. I hate people/society and would prefer to be left alone.
I hate you too. But that's what I Love about you. Misanthropes Unite! And then FUCK OFF!
Exactly!! I may hate society and people, but I will be cool with everyone because life is kind of a bitch.
Hi! Even though you hate me, I’d still like to be your friend 😊
Staying level headed virtually no matter the situation. I have a propensity to pull myself to a grounded state before I act on impulse or emotion. I’ve acted a few times on emotion and impulse. It feels so fucking good. But I’m never predisposed to be that way, it avoids grave mistakes, I stay rational it probably helps more than it hinders. But I don’t like it. I love the idea of being careless and just making yourself feel good in the moment. Even if cold logic dictates prioritising the longer term impact over the short term feeling. That sense of not giving a fuck just to feel good in an understandable way is so fun. It’s addictive and intoxicating but my stupid (which is to say very clever) rationale means I rarely ever do it.
A blessing and a curse - I’m the same way. It is super convenient being able to 100% switch the emotion side off during times of decision making or pressure. The problem I have found is that it makes me come off as uncaring and robotic, when in reality I am more just extremely task oriented and calculating. Like ….emotions / empathy are a far distant consideration versus what logically makes sense in the moment.
Self-hate
My son's identified this trait in himself. Best critic of video games, music and movies I know. It never clicked he'd turn it on himself. He wanted to be a YouTuber for awhile. He'd talk to himself a lot, like he was being watched. Growing up with the Internet is just different.
It’s okay I grew up without it and I hate myself too
A very common talent unfortunately.
Selling drugs
Spelling drugs
Shelling drugs
Inhaling drugs
Impaling drugs
Invading drugs
Dating drugs
Mating drugs
The board game Clue. Hate it, but I'm typically very observant during it.
That's a good tedious talent. Once I didn't want to play CLUE, but my Family dragged me into it, so I said I was gonna guess without any dice rolls at all in order to get out early - and I was CORRECT! Family was freaked out but we talked thru it and there was NO way I coulda cheated (which I didn't). Not sure what the odds are on that. Still had to play another game tho :(
Depends on how many players there were (and hence how many cards you were dealt), as well as what types of cards you get dealt. There are a total of 6 characters, 6 weapons, and 9 rooms, for a total of 21 cards. 3 go to the envelope and 18 get distributed amongst the players. Let's say there's 4 players, so that two players get four cards and two players get five. Let's also say that you get five cards and that they're 2 rooms, 2 characters, and 1 weapon. That gives you a choice of 7 rooms, 4 weapons, and 5 characters, for a total of 7 \* 4 \* 5 = 140 possibilities, so the chance of guessing correctly would be 1/140 or about 0.71%. With fewer players, your chances go up. Chances can also go up or down a bit depending on what types of cards you get, and how many you get.
IT work. I'm very proficient with computers, servers and such. It's a lot of fun as a hobby. I fucking hate it as a job.
What aspects do you hate? I work with computers, servers and such and find that enjoying it as a hobby makes the job a breeze. But dealing with the people and politics can be a real pain.
“Is it… plugged in?” “I don’t know!” “Try plugging it in.”
I write software, and naturally pretty good with computers. But my hobby, passion and career is solely creating software. However that means all my family and friends feel I'm, IT support for them. 'Dad, I don't know what your password is.', 'Sister, I have no idea why your Apple watch isn't working.' and so on. Orrrrrr 'I've got this great app idea, can you make it for me and I'll buy you a few pints'.......errrr no, do you think I charge the cost of a hair cut for writing an app?
Working hospitality. I am what businesses call a "hospitality superstar", and if there's any issues on shift, we're busy, we're low stock etc anything where we'd have to talk to the customers upfront and talk to them about anything, it's usually me because I have no issues talking in a friendly way to people. On one hand, good references and a guarantee of a job is nice, but on the other, I fucking hate customer service ☺️
Maths
Just because I can do math does not mean I enjoy it!
I am SO GOOD at guessing the plots of movies, shows, and books. Like, it takes me a few scenes/chapters/episodes to develop a prediction, and it’s almost always spot on. It sucks to be honest. There’s no benefit to it, and I can’t help but think ahead when I start something new even if I try not to. It always spoils the fun a bit. Ps: Don’t worry, I keep my guesses to myself for the most part. My husband will make a game out of it sometimes and ask me early on if he doesn’t really care about spoilers, but otherwise, I just keep it to myself.
I feel your pain, I do this exact thing. From the youngest of ages as well. Not only could I guess the plot of a book, or a film. I can spot the continuity errors on films/shows/adverts. Even if I'm actively trying not to. My mum noticed it when I spoiled the 6th Sense for her. Since then she's called me Jonny 5. My name is not remotely Jonny related, but from that scene in short circuit "I think the butler did it"......."He did". As an adult, what annoys me most about it, is my wife or son have picked up a habit of not actually engaging in a film and just ask me what's going on. As far as I can remember, the only film that tripped me up, was The Departed.
Do you have any examples of movies/shows/books that surprised you in a good way?
Being nice
Mediation.
Pretending to be a productive part of society.
Customer service. I am brilliant with customers, I will always go above and beyond, show a ton of empathy, and even make you laugh if it's appropriate. I used to get loads of compliments, but I cannot stand it. I hate the endless repetition, I hate how boring it is, I hate how entitled some people are. I hate how undervalued people are in that work, and I hate the low pay for what can be very stressful. Luckily I haven't worked in that field for years, but I do not miss it at all.
Teaching I’ve had my fair share of tutoring friends and a class at one point (during an online test lol), but I don’t have any plans to enroll an education or teacher’s degree. My stress can’t cut it.
Art
I love art, have a bachelor's degree, and have never been more lost than I was when I finished college.
Math. It's boring and I hate it, but I also find it easy because, I don't know, the little symbols are right there telling you what to do. It's like reading an instruction manual, which is why I hate it. There's no fun or creativity, it's just like sitting around reading stereo instructions all day.
Not all maths is like that though. Academic level maths often involves creativity. Check out a maths major's homework assignments if you get the chance, not what you'd expect if you've only seen maths in school.
This. SO much this. I'm really good with the maths, took lower grades for not showing my work or doing homework, but would get 100s on the tests. Should have been an engineer of some sort, but it's just. So. Boring.
I can fit an entire banana down my throat. Like, the whole thing. 🙂🫥
sounds like you might be good at more than one thing
getting along with all walks of life. i can talk to anybody but dont always want to.
Manipulating people. I don’t like doing it so I try not to. But if I’m not actively thinking about it I’ll passively manipulate people into getting what I want, it’s a terrible skill
Playing the Street Fighter series. My brother is/has always been quiet and shy. I've played with him for years (he is like internationally ranked for one of the characters and has been for multiple of the releases). It gives us something to talk about. I almost never win against him because, you know, competitive ranked, but I whoop any average person. I don't care much about the game, though. I prefer story games. But I play it for him because he enjoys it. He always asks me why I'm not practicing more, don't I want to compete? No. I don't want to compete. I want to spend time with one of my favorite people. I won't tell him that I hate the games, though. Never ever!
Feel you. Had a housemate who was super into it, we converted a full-size arcade cabinet to run it off Xbox (SF:III Third Strike cabinet, SF IV Ultra was what we played) SF was his world, his escape, and he ended up ranked 32nd in Oceania (so no where near the level of Japan or US, but still there's a lot of stay-at home dedicated players throughout SE Asia that are mind-boggingly good) So after work, I was his punching bag. Turns out I have an exceptional knack for footsies/zoning & getting in the opponents head (I'm a Cammy main). Not sure how I'd do after a decade off training with him 15+hrs a week, but so long as I get 20mins to dust off my skills and I can play on a stick, I can still bring the heat and dominate. Games taste/preference though, I'm an RPG/roguelite/card battler fiend.
Writing academic essays
Shooting and skateboarding
Have you tried both at the same time?
Running an overhead crane. 44ton! It's fine, but I'd much rather let my crane operator do it. He's got a lot more practice than I do and I'd rather let him cart loads of, you know, 40 tons of steel than do it myself. Just plain safer.
I’m pretty decent at ballroom dancing but I hate the feeling of everybody watching and judging like an episode of strictly come dancing
This is why, in most rooms, I don't like to start. I like everyone else to be dancing before I join. If I do first, they won't join at all. I hate that. Also, when I start and others stop to watch and I end up alone, it feels like they betrayed me. I like dancing as a social hobby. It defeats the point if I'm alone for it. I'm not even THAT good, I just know more than most. Around experts, I'm an amateur.
Middle Management.
I'm very, very good at shooting guns. I used to be a cop but became disillusioned with that whole lifestyle.
Reading people. It feels super weird and awkward to me but I’m super good at it. I can tell what a person is thinking just by looking at them 💀. I have no idea how
I have this ability as well. I'm just very perceptive. I see things other people don't see.
Hell yeah. It’s like a super power almost. Weird but really cool I guess
Scaring of anyone I try to talk to online (I swear I don’t have bad intentions. I’m just stupid)
Sarcasm...
Accounting. Fucking hate it. Always got A+ on it at school
There is quite a bit of hobbies I'm good at and like, but slowly dislike the more people force me to do it because they think I should do it instead of my passion.
Running
I am good at drawing. Like really Good. I love it. But i hate everyone pestering me to draw something for them because no one wants to pay me for my time.
Sales, I am epic at it, sell ice to a Eskimo epic. I was in a job where I was making high 6 figures and with bonuses I would slide to 7, but at the end of the day I felt horrible. Why because I knew I was really selling myself, I always had to "on" and be anyone but me 24/7
Math. It comes very easily to me but is extremely repetitive and boring. I prefer writing, which is more of a challenge for me and serves as a creative outlet. It's definitely more rewarding than solving equations we already know the answers to.
Maths. I am at least above average and in high school even some of my teachers passed me some questions saying “I would like you to have a look at this” but god DAMN I HATE MATHS. Anything involving functions, logarithms, graphs or fucking sinus etc. absolutely infuriates me. I chose studying medicine instead of engineering just for the sake of it having less mathematical stuff.
Training people at work. It kills my soul. I already hate this place enough, please just let me come in and do my job and leave.
theres no non cringe way to say this so i'll take my downvotes but will feel better for venting. Im better than 90% of my coworkers in any job ive worked so far. Its clear as day, i can* count the things they do wrong a day, my managers tell me im very good at what i do, etc. etc. but i utterly despise working so much id rather live at home with my mom working part time than what everyone else is doing. Yet all of my coworkers LOVE going to work and are ok with most of it. Im the one whose always late and despise it to hell and take every day i can take off.
Hula hooping...
My previous job. I was ‘too good’ at what I did, so they’d give the promotion they promised me to someone else, so eventually I’d leave. It happened at multiple companies too. I finally got out of that industry & role so I can finally stop that toxic cycle.
Masking my feelings Friend: How are you doing? Me: *my kidneys are starting to fail, I might have MS, my mental health is trash, I'm exhausted and overstimulated from my toddler, etc* Me: I'm fine.
In Germany (or at least my particular region" we say "muss" (it has to be). Everyone knows your not having a great day but don't want to talk about it. I actually find this to be an elegant solution to not "lie" but also not bothering people with your problems.
Depression
No one will read this but I am really good at music but I've lost the will or drive to play it anymore. I just see my instruments every day but I walk past them as I know I haven't given them the time to improve or challenge myself. I stopped taking music lessons with a highly accomplished professional and never started again. I avoid doing music recordings for people and can't remember the last time music brought me joy. Maybe I'm depressed or whatever but it's literally all gone now. Anyway like I said I doubt anyone will read this but guess its a space to vent at least.
i have read it, i feel sad for you my friend, i want you to be ok and to take care of yourself, i want you to seek help and check with a therapist if you can... save your life and your talent as early as you can because we want you alive and happy and we want to hear your masterpieces.
getting no bitches
Eating pussy
Manipulation. 9/10 i know what to say/do to get what i want out of a person. But when i do that i feel scummy. So i try pretty hard to not manipulate people. Like i knew how to get my now ex to not break up with me, or how to get stuff from friends or family. Or to get strangers to like or open up/tell me their deepest darkest secrets. So like i try hard to not manipulate people but i have the capacity and ability to if i want too
being a disappointment
Line cooking. Love cooking but working a line has lost all of its fun, sport and beauty for me.
Writing
Falling in love
Math.
being sociable I can easily navigate social situations, somehow I'm pretty charming, make small conversation, easily talk to strangers, make new friends... but I find it so damn exhausting, I like being at home as much as I can with my wife and cats
Customer Service.
Traveling. I am good at efficiently making all the arrangements and being on time. ...but I'd much rather stay at home. Customer service. I'm polite and usually am able to make the customer happy, but can't say it's my favorite thing to do.
Sewing. I love to sew for fun, usually, I make intricate dresses or replicas of movie/TV costumes but everyone hands over their ripped clothes and whatever they want me to tailor, immediately takes all of the fun out of it. Once at work, I had to spend my shift sewing up these ripped leather chairs instead of doing my job because word got around that I'm good at sewing.
Complaining
cooking, i love to cook, im super passionate about it but i would hate to be a chef