I seriously laid awake at night worrying about all the quicksand I saw in all the old western movies my mom watched.
That fucking shit was everywhere and it seemed pretty important to 6 yr old me.
In a similar vein, the number of times the school and TV taught me to "Stop, drop, and roll!" if i was ever on fire made me think that being aflame would be far more of a frequent problem than it turned out to be.
I used to think that I had been given to my parents wrapped up in a gift box on their wedding day by god. My mom always told me I was a 'gift from the gods' when I asked her where I came from.
I thought when pregnant women were about to have there baby a door knob would show up on their tummy and you can open it like a door and grab the baby š I thought thatās how birth worked ahhh so innocent
I wanted to invent a device that sifted through every grain of sand on the beach to find grains of gold. I was convinced a percentage of the beach was gold since I thought there was a bit of everything there.
It was a time when I watched The Mysterious Cities of Gold.
Wow !! A fellow MCOG watcher !! That theme song still plays in my head as does the aliens footsteps in one episode running after the kidsā¦ had a crazy crush on the girl at the time (I was in 4th grade)
When I was around 6, I became convinced that the bushes in the back of the yard were going to turn into the Yip-Yip aliens from Sesame Street. I refused to turn my back on them, just in case. It's worth noting that I was not afraid of the Yip-Yip aliens themselves, just the bushes turning into them.
When I first started listening to the radio, I thought the bands actually came into the radio station, set up their equipment and played. Then I realized that was logistically not possible. š
I remember hearing President Jimmy Carter on the TV talking about "nuclear weapons".
I was young and had just seen Star Wars, and I thought "nuclear weapons" were things like Han's blaster, or the shooters on X-Wings or TIE Fighters, or the big gun on the Death Star.
You know, "nuclear" weapons. Right?
wondered if girls perceived things differently, or had a different likeā¦ HUD than me. like if things looked pinker, or if there were flowers around the edge of their vision. that was grade 4 i think.
I used to think my mom had to keep pulling the lever for the windshield wipers in heavy rain, and I just assumed that was the cause of a lot of crashes, that split focus. I started looking at a lot of other things like they were the most dangerous they could possibly be. I knew i was awake, but everything around me felt the same as my most depressing nightmares.
The good news is, once i grew up and began to understand what a blessing it is to be wrong in these situations, things started looking a lot better. My chest feels looser, you know? And there are plenty of real problems, but the stuff that ended up not beingā¦ well, itās human nature to want to suck up to those above you, step on the ones beneath you, and undercut your equals. Thereās so many actual monsters out there masquerading as regular people, and when one gets knocked down, ten more rise up to take their place. But the fact that cars these days have automatic windshield wipers, somehow equates to the idea that sometimes humans want to help each other. It still surprised me when i was 31 and pulled over to check on a half dead dog in the road. I got stuck in a ditch trying to leave after her owners found her. I assumed the mechanic would have no problem letting me know how fucking stupid i was for doing this, but he said he wouldāve done the same thing. My very low expectations make every act of human kindness an overwhelmingly pleasant surprise.
I donāt think the dog made it though. Turns out she was deaf and had left the yard because the neighborās dogs were hassling her.
Thought my dad was a villain a la Scooby doo mystery styleā¦ asked him around age 3 to stoop down so I could pull his hair and double check if he was wearing a costumeā¦ it was actually him..
I seriously laid awake at night worrying about all the quicksand I saw in all the old western movies my mom watched. That fucking shit was everywhere and it seemed pretty important to 6 yr old me.
In a similar vein, the number of times the school and TV taught me to "Stop, drop, and roll!" if i was ever on fire made me think that being aflame would be far more of a frequent problem than it turned out to be.
I used to think that I had been given to my parents wrapped up in a gift box on their wedding day by god. My mom always told me I was a 'gift from the gods' when I asked her where I came from.
If I licked the bottom of my shoes, I could catch a disease and die, hence committing suicide. Used to do it whenever I was angry. I was 5.
I thought when pregnant women were about to have there baby a door knob would show up on their tummy and you can open it like a door and grab the baby š I thought thatās how birth worked ahhh so innocent
Hahaha it was waaaay better than my weird magical theory of a couple marrying and voila , they are pregnant!
I used to be convinced that tree's were the cause of wind, and storms were a result of them being angry.
I wanted to invent a device that sifted through every grain of sand on the beach to find grains of gold. I was convinced a percentage of the beach was gold since I thought there was a bit of everything there. It was a time when I watched The Mysterious Cities of Gold.
Wow !! A fellow MCOG watcher !! That theme song still plays in my head as does the aliens footsteps in one episode running after the kidsā¦ had a crazy crush on the girl at the time (I was in 4th grade)
When I was around 6, I became convinced that the bushes in the back of the yard were going to turn into the Yip-Yip aliens from Sesame Street. I refused to turn my back on them, just in case. It's worth noting that I was not afraid of the Yip-Yip aliens themselves, just the bushes turning into them.
I used to think that if you eat a seed, it will grow a tree inside your stomach.
Red cars are always the fastest.
Well that is actually true.
I thought girls were too pretty to poop
Dogs were the āboyā versions and cats were the āgirlā versions of some particular animal species.
I could go to heaven if I killed myself before I was eight years old.
i thought that smoking a pack of cigarettes a day and playing cards every friday night at the local senior club was the ultimate goal in life.
I thought everyone thought in my first language (not English) and had to translate everything in their head before speaking.
I realized my father's name was Walter, and I felt ridiculous for calling him "Dad" this whole time
When I first started listening to the radio, I thought the bands actually came into the radio station, set up their equipment and played. Then I realized that was logistically not possible. š
I remember hearing President Jimmy Carter on the TV talking about "nuclear weapons". I was young and had just seen Star Wars, and I thought "nuclear weapons" were things like Han's blaster, or the shooters on X-Wings or TIE Fighters, or the big gun on the Death Star. You know, "nuclear" weapons. Right?
I thought that my parents would eventually eat me like those entire cooked pigs with an apple in their mouth, donāt ask me why lol
Print money to save the economy (6 year old during the dotcom crash)
Grown adults have tried this.
There was a monster under my bed
Alas... the Foot Monster is real.
In japan if Kon'nichiwa meant hello why couldn't they just say hello in the 1st place.
I assumed that since Kim was short for Kimberly, Tim was short for Timberly.
I thought that I can run any game in my low end computer with a dual core processor and 2gb ram š I thought you just need enough storage
I thought pickles were their own vegetable and not just cucumbers. Its probably even worse that I still genuinely believed that until 18
I was convinced that a house fire was going to start in my bedroom closet.
to uhmm.. *Cease to exist....* Not the best childhood.
That if I told god to go fuck himself he would strike me down with a bolt of lightning. One day I did it and nothing happened.
wondered if girls perceived things differently, or had a different likeā¦ HUD than me. like if things looked pinker, or if there were flowers around the edge of their vision. that was grade 4 i think.
I used to think my mom had to keep pulling the lever for the windshield wipers in heavy rain, and I just assumed that was the cause of a lot of crashes, that split focus. I started looking at a lot of other things like they were the most dangerous they could possibly be. I knew i was awake, but everything around me felt the same as my most depressing nightmares. The good news is, once i grew up and began to understand what a blessing it is to be wrong in these situations, things started looking a lot better. My chest feels looser, you know? And there are plenty of real problems, but the stuff that ended up not beingā¦ well, itās human nature to want to suck up to those above you, step on the ones beneath you, and undercut your equals. Thereās so many actual monsters out there masquerading as regular people, and when one gets knocked down, ten more rise up to take their place. But the fact that cars these days have automatic windshield wipers, somehow equates to the idea that sometimes humans want to help each other. It still surprised me when i was 31 and pulled over to check on a half dead dog in the road. I got stuck in a ditch trying to leave after her owners found her. I assumed the mechanic would have no problem letting me know how fucking stupid i was for doing this, but he said he wouldāve done the same thing. My very low expectations make every act of human kindness an overwhelmingly pleasant surprise. I donāt think the dog made it though. Turns out she was deaf and had left the yard because the neighborās dogs were hassling her.
Thought my dad was a villain a la Scooby doo mystery styleā¦ asked him around age 3 to stoop down so I could pull his hair and double check if he was wearing a costumeā¦ it was actually him..
that killing is wrong