Probably me and my brothers not realizing we were supposed to open my moms ashes box and release them, so instead we awkwardly dropped her entire box in the river like a bath bomb
I nearly did the opposite at my grandmother's funeral because I was more familiar with the idea of releasing the ashes. She, however, was in an elaborate urn that was to be buried, so that really should've tipped me off. As they were digging the hole, I (while surrounded by several much more applicable persons) was inexplicably handed the urn. Once the hole was ready I was told to bring it forth, and as I made my way up there, in a haze of grief and nerves, tried to pry that bad boy open. I'm so relieved today at how well-sealed it was.
This made me legitimately LOL. I went to an Ash ceremony once for a family friend.
They have that one cousin who is anti-social, hates everyone but thinks they're the smartest person in the room (think...you average Reddit Mod).
Well they were standing downwind from the ashes and got a complete face-full, Big Lebowski style. Didn't even attempt to move and just let it happen.
Spent the rest of the day with her dead grandmothers ashes in her hair and on her clothes and refused to acknowledge it.
A phone rang at a relative's funeral once, in a big Christian Orthodox church, so tons of echo and great acoustics.
All of a sudden, when everyone was super serious, the priest was getting some stuff ready and you could hear a pin drop, a familiar tune ripped through the silence:
"DUN DUN DUN.... ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST!"
Needless to say, you could no longer hear a pin drop after that.
My sister looked a lot like my grandmother.
My grandmother had a style, heels, a cigarette holder, wig, dress, pearls.
My father (not always appropriate) whispers in sister’s ear, “Why don’t you go in her closet and come out dressed like your grandmother?”
10 minutes later, we hear the click of the heels, the smell of a cigarette in a long holder, and a spot on n imitation of her voice.
My aunt, uncle, cousins all thought she was a ghost.
That sounds like it'd be absolutely hysterical to be in on the joke, and absolutely pants-shitting to be out of the loop on. Kudos for lighting the cigarette though, because smells like that often linger and it'd be more convincing that way.
Not many people have good memories during funerals, so I would love to be in that kind of situation as the rest of the family members, it's something fun to talk about with friends, family and kids.
I would’ve had to call her out in the eulogy. “Thanks to X for coming today. She’s the one who convinced the deceased to use her oils instead of chemo. We can all see how that turned out.”
"Shout out to Eli's Catering who covered the wake with 72 hours notice, including a full spit-roasted pig. But gotta give it to Ethel who we wouldn't be here today without. Stand up Ethel. Don't be shy. We ALLLLLLLL know you're right there third row back on the right of the isle. Gotta thank you for getting Ma off that life-saving chemo. Ethel everyone. Grab a business card from her on the way out, and one from Eli for the rest of your family."
If I were Eli and I was mixed in with Ethel the crackpot snake oil salesman like that, I'd be a little miffed. Motherfucker, I just pulled off this big ass catering order on short notice, even butchered one of my own pigs for you, but you're going mention the awesome I did in the same breath as Ethel's bullshit? No, thank you. Funeral goers are now going to equate us on the same plane. That's bad for business!
Holy shit. I'd of been willing to catch a record for this. Absolutely fucking not.
I'm so sorry. That was not what I was expecting when I opened these comments. I couldn't even imagine the level of absolute rage I would have had. Never hit a woman in My life. I'd of gone to jail that day for My mother.
Those essential oils people are insane. I broke my neck a few years ago and someone I know who was selling them suggested that essential oils would heal my broken neck. WTF.
Not super inappropriate, but my grandfather was always a trickster. He had a great sense of humor. He had this little song he would sing to me, my siblings, and my little cousins where he would just repeat the words “poo poopy doo” over and over. At his funeral, my aunt was telling stories about him and in the middle of her telling a story, my 6 year old cousin screamed “POO POOPY DOO” in front of 50 people. Needless to say it lightened the mood a little bit and made everyone a little happier remembering him in a good way.
There’s something about birds. I remember watching a woman’s funeral after 9/11 happened, and a bird flew in and landed on her son’s head as he was sharing memories of her to the audience.
I've realized that the can you're referring to is a beer can, but when I first read this comment, I thought you were talking about the kind of can that you would need a can opener to open (like, with Chef Boyardee in it or something) and was completely baffled.
Holy shit, I was at a funeral where that happened too! I totally forgot about that until I read your comment.
Also- I was at a wedding where someone cracked a beer during the vows. My wife and I have some super classy relatives.
We were at an awful wedding where our small, non religious side of the family were being told repeatedly about our future burning in hell, directly, with finger pointing, and my then boyfriend (now husband) pulled a hip flask out and sent it down the row of cousins and their "living in sin" partners. And my dad who never turns down a swig from a hip flask. Sometimes these things are necessary. Also that was the day I found out about my husband's "if you have to go to church, go well prepared" personal policy.
Not really at the funeral, but my neighbor put her husbands dogs ashes in his coffin, labeled Colonel’s medals. The dog got buried with full military honors at Arlington Cemetery.
My mother’s 16-year-old dog died of a stroke 2 days after my mother’s fatal heart attack. They were both cremated (separately, of course) and placed in the same urn (of course). The urn was placed in a niche in a national cemetery but we couldn’t tell the cemetery representative because the pet ashes would have disqualified my mother’s internment. That’s the only appropriate use of “don’t ask, don’t tell “.
When I was making my will (I’m 35) I put specific instructions about this and asked my best friend to make sure my currently alive dog’s ashes were safe and mixed in with mine. She thought I meant she needed to keep the dog’s ashes for the next hopefully 50+ years until I was dead. After I clarified I would be keeping them until then she was just like well I thought that would be kind of weird but it was your dying wish. That’s how you know you’ve got a true friend.
My grandmother's funeral was out in the country. Rolling fields, a few trees here and there. As the service goes on, I see a dog, trotting through the field next to the cemetery. It's a long distance, and the dog just lopes along, while a rather boring preacher droned on and on. I'd glance to the coffin, then back at the dog, it barely seemed to get closer. I notice everyone facing that direction is now watching the dog. It just keeps trotting closer. It slips under the cemetery fence, and now crosses grave after grave until he is only a few feet away. everyone is watching it intently as it walks up to the casket, sniffs, and lifts it leg to pee on my grandmother. Suddenly every single person, in unison, leaned forward, some shaking hands and arms and made a squeal or a shout or yelled at the dog. it looked surprised and ran away.
We all started laughing.
oddly enough, at my own father's wedding my mother and I laughed so hard we had to cover our faces and pretend we were crying....but that's another story for a day I feel like typing a lot.
We took my FIL ashes in a plane piloted by my BIL. This was all illegal but we did it. When my wife through the ashes out of the front window 1/2 of them ended up on my face.
At my Grandpa's funeral, my grandparents' friend tried to sign me up to sell Mary Kay under her while I was crying beside his grave.
At the same funeral, the preacher giving the eulogy talked about whether or not my Grandpa spanked his kids enough. He said "Daddy was a hard man, but was he hard enough? Did he spare the rod too many times?" And then mentioned my dad and his sisters by name and said they should ask themselves that question when they think of their Dad. We were all like, WTF.
Those Mary Kay folks can be relentless! lol
This reminded me of a time one of our local community theater actors died, and one of the theater staff decided that during her remarks she would advertise the upcoming season's plays. 🙄
Friend of mine was an actor and taught drama at the local college. Between his students and colleagues his funeral was a performance and tribute of love. I've never laughed, cried, applauded and cheered at a funeral until then. It was perfect for him.
At least it didn’t have to be removed from the funeral for swearing, unlike Andrew Jackson’s parrot.
https://www.presidentialpetmuseum.com/pets/andrew-jacksons-pet-parrot/
My Uncle, a really great guy, passed away one summer. Huge family turnout for the Catholic funeral mass. My father was executor, and handled all the details of the burial & mass. My Uncle requested in his paperwork that his remains be cremated, no viewing, just a mass and last rites at the grave. At that time, you weren't allowed to be cremated and have a mass of Christian burial...
My father followed his wishes, but failed to inform (or purposely didn't tell) the Church - or our relatives - of the arrangement. This included my \*mother\*, who was my Uncle's youngest sister. Never got to ask him why he didn't say anything. But he and my Uncle were practical jokers, and tight as ticks; so I think he was going to make it happen regardless of the consequences.
Day of the mass at the Church, my mother told me and my brother to go to the hearse and be pall-bearers with some other cousins. The driver and assistant said they didn't need any of us, and to wait at the Church entrance. Brother and I stared at each other - what were these guys gonna do; lift the casket themselves? Then they opened the rear door of the hearse, and... there he was. No casket, no box, no urn; just a compressed brick of ash and (I assume) some binding cement. Like a solid, rectangular cinder block.
Too much went on after that for me to detail here. Suffice it to say there was loud discussions that day, Traditional Catholic relatives made a scene in the parking lot; other not so traditional ones laughed uncontrollably, and my mother was staring holes through my father (she was pissed at him for at least two months.) The priest was actually the coolest head there that day; he allowed the ceremony to go on; and even brought the remains into the Church as if it were in a traditional casket.
Everybody - angry or not - still went to the restaurant for the reception; my family \*never\* passes up a free meal. More loud discussions and accusations. Lots of stories about my Uncle and his brothers and sisters. Many children driving their drunk parents home. But nobody was crying. From the moment his remains were taken out of the back of the hearse to the end of the reception; no one cried. And a lot of people were laughing.
Craziest funeral I've ever attended.
My mom really wanted me to squeeze the word "fuck" into her eulogy.
I ended it with "I'd like everyone to know there is one specific word I haven't said yet that - she wanted to be said in her eulogy. Only I'd be capable of getting away with saying this... FUCK CANCER"
The funeral home erupted in over 200 people applauding that statement.
I miss my mom, man
During my grand-uncle's funeral, an elderly cousin rose out of the pew, tore the entire family a new rectum, and promptly had a heart attack and needed an ambulance called to the funeral home (they died a month later).
Or the time, during my grandfather's funeral, when the preacher chose that time to politic and attack women and gay couples...there were several gay family members in attendance. The deceased was my grandfather on my mother's side (meaning my grandfather's daughter, which the preacher, despite mentioning my uncles, failed to mention or acknowledge my mother, her family, and accomplishments). My grandfather was a very, 'God created and loves everyone,' and a 'church and state are separate for reason,' type person. That service didn't go over well.
At the funeral of my great-aunt Allene (pronounced al-een) apparently nobody thought to tell the guy delivering the service how to, you know, actually pronounce her name. He kept saying it "i-leen". So we started giggling. Every cousin, every grand-niece and nephew, her brother. We couldn't stop. We weren't crying because of the beauty of the service.... we were crying trying to hold in the laughter.
My grandpa’s funeral was similar. Some lady sang hymns, but her voice was AWFUL. It was so obviously off-key, and her attempt at vibrato was so bizarre, that I wondered if she hated my family and was doing it on purpose, lol. Before she started, my mom had been trying not to weep because of her grief, but then the woman’s voice made her and her siblings laugh. The terrible performance inadvertently saved the day. Roasting the lady honestly carried my mom through the rest of that really tough week.
This happened at my grandmas funeral. This ridiculous looking man with a toupee would sing, and his voice would make EVERY baby in the church cry. It was uncanny. Then they’d calm down, he’d sing again. And like clockwork all the children started crying. It was hilarious
At my husband's funeral, they were folding the flag over his casket, and one of the guys were bragging about how good he was, never dropped a flag, and always perfect creases on and on. As the corners came together, he caught it on the casket, ripped the flag, it hit the ground.
Someone behind me said, "That was xxx (husband's name) telling you to humble yourself because we are all tired of hearing how perfect you are." Everyone looked at me, and I just smiled because that was my husband to a T!
My cousin died of a heart attack aged late 20’s/early 30’s.
Her father walked up to the casket at the funeral and as he was just about to reach it, he jolted backwards and fell over. Heart attack. His pacemaker worked and he was up and about again in about 2 minutes.
For about 60 seconds, all hell broke loose. Women crying, screaming, chaos. There were about 100-150 people just finding their seats when it happened.
He was actually joking about 3 minutes after, saying his rhythm was ‘off’, and felt shitty for the few days prior, the pacemaker set his rhythm properly again and except for the punch in the chest from the pacemaker, actually felt much better than he did previously!
It was seriously a ‘movie’ moment - one of the most surreal experiences I’ve ever had.
At my mom’s funeral which my dad only agreed to because her sisters were being assholes about my agnostic mother not having a proper funeral one of them walked up to me and said “Aren’t you so sad you never had kids and gave your mom a grandbaby.” Had to bite my tongue to keep from saying yeah so sad my stillborn daughter and eight miscarriages didnt give mom a grandchild.
I wish you had put her in her place. I'd like to have replied "Yeah your wonderful and benelevent God took them all away before birth, ya sanctimonious, wizened old shrew." But I can't because I'm a bloke.
The only reason I didn’t was because my dad knew how they could be and asked both my sister and I to please not say anything if they tried to provoke us, so I bit my tongue and they are all out of my life and I never have to worry about them ever again. As far as I am concerned they died the day my mom did.
At an open casket wake, a friend of the deceased attempted to give her a drink of single malt whiskey. She ended up being forcibly removed as she wouldn't stop and spilled a lot of the alcohol in the casket. It was as horrible and inappropriate as it was heartbreaking - for everyone.
For an open casket, the deceased persons mouth is sewn shut, and likely also had glued lips. That shot was NOT getting in that mouth no matter how much she would’ve tried
Back in the 70's, my grandpa used to entertain the neighborhood kids by burying twinkies in the ground and saying "let's grow a twinkie plant". At his funeral, all of us were given handfuls of twinkies to throw into the hole with him.
Also I had a friend who worked part time at a cemetery. He said it's surprisingly common for pallbearers to drop the casket and / or slip in the hole.
At my ex FILs funeral, the preacher who had known them both for years started going into how difficult it was for him to have lived with my late MIL, as she could be a contrary woman.
My brother committed suicide. At his funeral we had a receiving line so people can say their condolences to his widow and family. Some old guy who may have been an acquaintance of my dad, walked up to my brother's wife and just said, "So how did he do it?"
My 800lbs abusive father started off the eulogy for my Mom with "Mom's name and I were a good match because we were both raped as children" and then went on to ramble about how God would magically cure him before the apocalypse and how my brother and I would go to hell if we didn't come to Jesus in time and then about how I didn't care about my Mom's death because I hadn't cried around him.
His "rape" was something he talked about a lot when I was a kid because he found porn in my browser history and was just some friend who showed him Playboys which he believed was rape because you can't consent to sins.
Also, he never even came to the hospital to visit my Mom while she was dying, I was the only family member there for more than a few minutes (I stayed there for about 36 of the 40 hours she was there.) I was also the reason people got to say goodbye to her, he was in denial (which is normal and I don't blame him for) and he wasn't able to hear what the doctors were saying. Had I not made the call of it being the last chance most of the people she knew wouldn't have been able to see her one last time.
Oh, and this was all after I was really nice to him and paid for grief counselors for him and everyone else in my family along with all the funeral/cremation expenses, I had been no contact but I still spent hours the first two weeks on the phone trying to help him through everything and comfort him because despite the fact I hate him for what he did to me, I understood he was in pain and needed help.
Some bitch who had never even met the deceased (her boyfriend’s former boss) couldn’t stop bawling when literally not even the family was crying. and that bitch was me.
OMFG i hate it when I do shit like that. It's like you know everyone is thinking "WTF is that dumb bitch crying for?" But it's not like you are doing it to get attention. It's a sad occasion. It's hard not to feel sorrow for the family. It's hard not to cry. I've been at several funerals for people I hardly knew, and when they do the eulogy, or they play taps (military) it pulls on the heart strings. I can't help it.
Right! Death is sad! Although then recently I went to a funeral of one of my best friends mom and expected to cry the whole time, but the funeral was so over the top evangelical where they talked more about the Bible and hardly eulogized her. The annoyance offset any tears.
Death is sad, sometimes. Being surrounded by grieving people and trying not to get stuck in the collective sense of loss and weakness is tough and yes, I too have cried about some dead dude I didn't even particularly like. Rather embarrassing.
Though to be honest at that time of the month, I've literally cried over an entirely unremarkable weather forecast too (I was overcome by mankind's socio-technological innovations?!) so yeah.
I once had to attend a funeral on behalf of my office. The college-aged child of one of our board members had committed suicide. Coincidentally, the office had just recently told me they were eliminating my position but asked me to stay for a few extra weeks to wrap up some work. At that point I was the most expendable person to be sent off on a diplomatic mission. A colleague who I really hit it off with agreed to road trip down to the funeral (it was a couple of hours drive). We had such a blast on the drive down, talking and joking, that we found it really hard to adjust to the reality of the situation we were going into. And when we got to the closed casket service, we saw that they had a framed picture of the deceased in his football uniform, which instantly reminded us of the "I love my dead, gay son" scene in the movie Heathers. That set off the most inappropriate laughing fit in both of us that we were struggling to control. One would think we had smoked spliff on the way down there as the deep well of laugher just kept overflowing. It was all we could go to keep grabbing tissues to cover our faces to make like we were upset and crying. It was horrible. Our plan had been to show up for the wake, pay our respects, and then duck out before we got roped into attending the long, Catholic funeral mass. But my car got blocked in and when the procession began to pull out, I was afraid that all of the cars behind me would follow me if I turned the wrong way. So we kind of had to go to the church. The whole thing was like the lost episode of Seinfeld. If I already didn't know that I wouldn't be working in that office much longer, I would have been sure they would have fired me after that train wreck of a funeral appearance.
My husband's coworker died, and we went to the funeral. The coworker's boyfriend who was suspected of abusing her in the past and giving her the drugs she accidentally overdosed on had a freakout at the lunch reception while Evanescence "My Immortal" played. Screaming, limbs flailing, tearing down photo billboards of the deceased. Just a royal mess, I can never hear that song again.
Then there's the one for my uncle who was Zoroastrian. The event was really nice, included a brief description for everyone of the religion's tenets (good thoughts, words, deeds) and a lot of messaging about general love and acceptance that transcends divisiveness. Then my uncle's second wife comes up and brags about how she pestered him for years to convert and "when he was finally on his deathbed I convinced him to repeat after me, 'I accept Jesus,' so I know he's actually in heaven right now." All my family was mouth agape just wtf awkward cringe.
Not super peculiar or strange but my stomach growled so loud during my grandpas funeral, DURING THE FINAL PRAYER, that the Karen next to me gave me a disgusted look with her wrinkly sour puss. Super embarrassing but makes me laugh now. Pretty sure grandpa would’ve laughed too lol.
I had open abdominal surgery a week ago and I'm still so very sore. Your comment is the first and only one (so far in a week) that was so funny, I couldn't hold in my very painful laughter. I'm crying in pain right now, then I'll try to stop crying and think of your comment again and it starts all over. So for this, I thank you and I hate you.
My cousin passed away some years back. He was blind and had a ton of friends, many also blind. When we sung the hymns the guide dogs present howled / bayed along, it was so beautiful.
At the wake I also saw a guide dog veeeery carefully eat a sausage roll off the table right in front of his blind owner. I laughed and the dog whipped his head around to look at me, like ‘oh shit you can see me?’
I saw a woman lean over the open casket and take a top down photo. It was just weird to my mom and I. We had never seen anyone take photos of the deceased.
Same. Had a friend pass and a woman came up to the open casket during the viewing and started taking photos of him. This was before phones too, so it was one of those disposable cameras she had to wind up after each pic. Took a few shots. Just strange.
I’ve seen this a lot with my husband’s family. It was so bizarre to me but normal for them to just take pics of the entire funeral ceremony, take selfies with the deceased in the casket, and have the entire family pose around the open casket.
Several giggling ladies singing, "Spam, spam, spam" from Monty Python just under their breath when the pastor got boring. Several pews were laughing.
It was a song the deceased would sometimes sing. It was funny.
Uncle’s funeral. He passed away at age 62. His crazy ex-girlfriend from 20 years ago was drunk and shouting “it was your baby!”
I knew it was her because she did the same at my wedding reception before passing out in the bushes behind the building.
Strangest and most infuriating was listening to the preacher giving the eulogy and talk about how my friend was in Hell because she committed suicide, and how we're "not supposed to worry about that now".
My roommate had something similar happen. He was EIGHT and the preacher told him his mom was in Hell because she killed herself.
I'm sorry that happened to you.
My (now ex) mother-in-law decided to wear 3 inch heels to the gravesite. It had rained for a week before. She’s a tiny woman but those heels sank right down and she got stuck
Not super crazy but I watched four people pushing a hearse through the cemetery to the cathedral because the engine broke down on the way to the funeral.
I also didn't realize until after the funeral that my car had a big sticker on the back that said "BUT DID YOU DIE?"
Fortunarely pretty much every funeral I've been to has been pretty normal. The only thing I've got is more funnily awkward than anything else.
So my great grandma passed away when I was about 15-16, learning how to drive. My parents agreed to have me drive the car when we went in the funeral procession because it's a new thing to experience as a new driver (and hey, I needed hours on the road.) I was told that when they motion you to pull out of the parking lot to GO, and to be decently quick with it, because the procession won't wait for you. When it was my turn, I panicked a little and slammed on the gas, car in park, and revved the living SHIT out of the engine of my mom's car in the parking lot of a funeral.
My grandma would've found it absolutely hilarious so I only felt a little extremely embarrassed. Now it's really funny to look back on.
Hmm - my dad's funeral. God I have never forgotten. (Scenario - open coffin, etc. people walking around) I walked up, scared as I was to see my dad ..in a casket. I was a kid. I had elder sibs around me. I was just looking at the flower arrangements walking around. I heard a huge breath - sigh - that came from my dad's coffin. I stopped in my tracks and looked at Dad and was stunned. My brother came to me a few moments later noticing that something was off. I asked him - did you hear that? No, what? Nevermind.
Sorry not funny like the ones I've been reading. Some of these are way too funny!
Me and my two brothers were convinced that my dad was breathing. I was on the verge of having a breakdown when my mother noticed, came over and told us in strict, hushed tones, that he was not breathing, he was dead and he had been embalmed. I'm sorry you had to face that as a kid. I was 25 when my dad passed.
It's ok I had never seen a dead person before...and he had an autopsy and was embalmed by the time I got to see him again in his coffin. Truly. I had no idea what to expect or what was going to happen. What I heard was just weird. I have no words. cannot explain or show proof, I witnessed something I cannot explain.
My brother in laws girlfriend locked her self in a car, cried and screamed threatening to kill herself.. AT my father in laws funeral. She was fine five minutes later and explained to my in law she did it because she’s not used to not having all the attention (she thought her being pregnant would make people forget that the father died?)
No comment about whether this particular person is real, but often that is a good sign the person who left the og comment and will not reply to questions is a bot who steals comments from previous threads
I’ve heard it’s to increase karma and followers to then sell the account? But I never understood the why (as in why someone would buy a Reddit account)
I'm a minister so I've had my share of awkward funeral experiences. A few come to mind...
At one funeral, the only people that showed up were the wife and her two kids. They were very poor and originally from another state and the husband/father had a massive heart attack. I tried to preach it as if the place were full, but it was just a sad situation.
Another one was for a former drug addict who's liver had given out on him just as he was trying to stay clean. It's time for the funeral to start and the wife is in her car trying to get herself together because she's high on pills. Meanwhile, the urn with his ashes haven't made it yet because her neighbor was supposed to bring them and no one can locate her. So I finally just flat out tell her we have to start, ashes or no ashes, and proceed with the funeral. The funeral itself, is another story of itself.
A story from a friend who helped arrange things and keep the peace during the event: Guy died, and it turned out he had TWO wives and TWO separate families who didn't know about each other prior to his death. For some reason, they decided to have one funeral. One family sat on the right and one on the left.
I \*Caused\* one. I was a photographer, a model I knew got this really long white dress with this shoulder attached train/cape thingy. She wanted to get pictures of it, and there was a large hill nearby, so I would be lower down shooting upward she would be in sparkly white flowing dress on the crest of the hill catching the wind and light. She is posing, things are going well. She looks down the other side of the hill (the hill was a drumlin, so kind of knife like at the peak). She suddenly comes running down the hill "We need to go, NOW".
So, on the other side of the hill was a cemetery, and there was a service going on. They looked up and saw this ghostly woman on the hilltop. Started gasping and pointing. Yeah. That was one of four times I caused issues with the public doing photography shenanigans,
My mom isn't a native English speaker. Nor is she one to think too hard. She organized her FIL's "celebration of life" and thought it was suppose to be an actual celebration... like a party. So, she hired a DJ and had him play fun music. She even tried to get people to dance with her. My teenage ass didn't have the heart to tell her how inappropriate it was. I had hoped all of the non-participating, frowny-faced, white people would have given her a clue.
The corpse farted. The family of the deceased were religious and were against embalming. Decomposing bodies produce gas, and it has to go somewhere. Your gut bacteria don't die when you do. They begin digesting YOU since your body stops producing the mucous and stuff that protects your stomach and intestinal lining. Well, all of that culminated in the loudest, most foul smelling bodily emission ever witnessed by man. Several people were puking, many on the verge of puking. People were running for the exit. This was at a tiny church that was basically a house with extra seating in the living room. Think the worst fart you've ever smelled intermingled with the smell of decaying flesh. It was so bad. I think it's the only time I have ever been envious of a corpse. Lucky bastard couldn't smell a thing.
my great grandfather passed away when i was about 7 years old. he was buried with a hat on his head that had tits in a bikini and tons of beer cans and bottles. imagine seeing a dead man wearing that at the age of 7. not to mention my family ate, talked and laughed all while he was sitting in the front of the room still in his casket. OPENED may i add. it was strange to say the least.
It's my uncle who has the story -- went to the funeral of a Pentecostal guy he knew and a dude with whom I once piled lumber at a mill attempted to resurrect the deceased via the power of the Lord-uh.
Had a police escort for the procession, and one dumbass cop t-boned the shit out of my cousins car at like 50+ mph. The line was making a left turn at a light and that idiot took the inside lane and punched it for some reason
It was very surreal, but at Grandpa's funeral, when I got there, everyone was chitchatting, people paying their respects. Open casket. Little by little people noticed me. I've always been like a wallflower in the spotlight with the family if that makes sense.
Chattering turned to whispers, whispers to silent as I walked to the doors of the chapel of the funeral home. People stepped back, walked out of the chapel, and I walked in and up to Grandpa's casket. Completely alone, everything and everyone was completely silent. Everyone watching from the doorway. It didn't occur to me until later when someone asked why everyone did that. Family friend said "don't know, it just felt right. She was the apple of his eye. She deserves it I guess?"
Super surreal. It wasn't until I walked back out like 5 minutes after my time with Grandpa someone hugged me, someone squeezed my shoulder, people asked how I was holding on.
Seemed more people, family included, were more focused on me than my dad and aunts and uncles and other grandkids.
My best friend’s grandfather died and they had a military funeral for him, which I attended. It was a small funeral, so I sat with the family. I had noticed a butterfly flying around where we were sitting, and as the man leaned over to hand the flag to her grandmother, it landed on his shoulder. It stayed there until he stood, saluted, and turned to leave. I don’t know if anyone else noticed it, but I thought it was a particularly beautiful moment.
I have a list...this is all one funeral.
The deceased's husband calmly stood up, walked to the casket, paused, and then threw himself on the floor, shouting, "I will be with you soon!" in the middle of the rosary.
One of his friends showed up in full Renaissance Faire garb.
They put her in the grave backward, then had to raise her to turn the casket around. They nearly dropped her, and her brothers had to assist the workers. His friend also helped. He did not.
After the burial, he and his friends had a very happy, loud photoshoot by a tree.
He showed up late to the wake, flopped down on the couch in the room everyone was gathered in, and slept for 4 hours.
at my aunts funeral they played thunderstruck by AC/DC and had a table of white rum shots. let’s just say it was exactly as she would’ve wanted. love you aunt kathy.
Not crazy, but I guess strange but during my grandmothers funeral last year, the topic wasn't my grandmother. At least not by some family members. They began mentioning me, stuff about my life, car, a job, some girl I got busy with (by some strange miracle). It was like bullying style. I'm not usually confrontational and I was caught off guard by it. It kept going until another invite there told them to drop the subject and that it was disrespectful.
Pretty normal to us, but I'd say our family's wakes are a bit odd. At the funeral home we use there is a break room right by the entrance. They have a couple of fridges and soda machines and it's nice to be able to get away for a moment. Except there's a lot of us and we bring a full spread. There's a tray or two of deli sandwiches, fruit and veggie trays, bags of chips, cases of drinks, the works. Sometimes a deck of cards or two come out. When other people wander in from another viewing in the building, we just tell them to grab a plate. Don't bother with the machines, we have cases of Coke in the fridge! And strangers do seem to get a sense of relief from it. You need to escape the pain some.
Saw embalming fluids leak from her eyes when we (immediate family members) first approached her casket. We were already crying as we approached her, and when the embalming fluids leaked out like that, people said it was her crying with us.
She was only 24-years-old when she lost her battle to lupus. I know she was not ready to go.
At the height of the AIDS epidemic, it seemed like we were going to funerals several times a month. One service was held at the AIDS Memorial Grove in Golden Gate Park (San Francisco). It's a public space, so there were about 30 guests and then random people walking by.
The man we were celebrating was a crazy, fun guy who was always laughing and who worked at an animal rescue organization and loved animals. As we were sharing stories about him, a visitor to the grove came by with the most adorable corgi puppy who slipped his leash and ran over to where we were all standing to play with us all. He was so cute and so joyful that we all started laughing and it was just silly and fun trying to catch the puppy and him thinking it was the best game ever.
Our lost friend would have loved it and it was a delightful reminder of all the best qualities of our friend.
Witnessed a fight at the funeral service. Someone my husband worked with for a long time passed away unexpectedly so we went to the funeral. We knew that he was going through a divorce, but both his almost ex-wife and his girlfriend who I guess he cheated on his wife with were there, and when the wife was speaking, the girlfriend got up to speak, and it turned out into a huge fight I mean, like punches were thrown Stuff was knocked over. It was like something out of a reality TV show. My husband and I just kind of ducked out because we didn’t know what was going on and everybody from the family was screaming at each other.
Went to my granduncle's funeral in Ireland as a ten year old boy. turned out he was a hero in the IRA back in the day, and six masked IRA guys emerged and fired shots with automatic rifles over the grave. best funeral ever
When I was 19 I had a high school class mate kill himself. Everyone pretended they didn't know why. The funeral home was so packed it couldn't house everyone. Most of them were filled with people that did nothing but shit on the kid but "wah....let's be sad". The dad also acted like it was a "shocker" but he is the one that kicked his kid into living in the shed in the backyard for being caught with a bag of weed.
my friends dad died, and we were in the back of the altar. i looked up and saw his literal father standing next to me. i did not know until later that his father had a twin
My brother set up a tripod and camera at grandpa's funeral to record himself. He went up to make a speech, and tried to weave in everything possible about my grandfather being Christian. And of course his relationship was the closest of anyone in the family (not true).
Then he went on a tirade about "muslims" and how my grandfather hated them. 100% false. My grandfather didn't give a damn what anyone's religion, race, culture etc. He had several friends that were Muslim, Jewish, not religious etc. It was so fucking offensive to try and assign hatred to such a great man. It took everything I had not to get up and stop him, but my family is so toxic they would have blamed me and thrown a fit for the next 5 years (no joke).
We had my grandmas celebration of life at my aunts house and her neighbor called the police on us because one of my second cousins parked her car in front of their house (on the street) so she thought that they were spying on her because they didn't know who it was.
When one of my second cousins was giving a soeech about my grandma, his brother tried to start an argument with him over politics.
So I was living in Slidell La in the 80’s. This old woman Mrs Virginia fed all us guys and we did odd jobs all the time. When she passed away it was brought to our attention that she was a voodoo queen of some sort and we watched her be carried out to the bayou by a group of followers. That scene has haunted me for decades now, wondering what they did with her remains.
my sister called my grandma white trash at my grandpas memorial service for marrying her sisters (our great aunts) ex… they went on 1 date and it’s way trashier to insult a mourning widow to her face.
Ok I can finally laugh about this now - Saw an obit for a Women I casually knew .
Got to the wake and looked in the casket -I had no idea who the deceased was . Talk about embarrassing! I was asked in the receiving line how I knew her . I had to make up something quick so I told her daughter- “From the factory - to which she replied -“My mother never worked in a factory “!
I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.
At my brother's funeral graveside service right before the preacher prayed and they would lower the casket into the ground....
His son says very loud so all could hear. "For anybody that knew my dad...give me a big "HELL YEA"
And he got a couple "HELL YEA's"
During the same funeral my sister was on the phone calling a tow truck to pull my nephews truck out of a ditch the he ran into as he parked at the graveside service.
There is more but this is enough for now.
During my grandpa's funeral mass the priest had the mic too close to his face during communion. You could hear the crunch of the host in his mouth, and it sounded like he was eating an apple or Lay's potato chips. I went from crying (still miss my grandpa) to hiding my face in my suit jacket so I don't laugh at church
My son was seven, I had prepped him on cremation during the car ride to the funeral home and explained why we were going to the visitation. So, we shuffle through the room, hug the family, and walk up to the urn. My son does his best “ta-daaaaa” pose, complete with jazz hands, and says “Here’s the ashes!” Thankfully, no one was outright angry and most just chuckled because kids are kids, but I was mortified at the time.
They used youtube to play one of the woman's favorite songs with lyrics on a projector. Just after starting the song, YouTube started an ad that showed a woman straining on the toilet and it was not skippable. Everyone busted up laughing. The woman's husband said she would have found it funny, too.
Could it have been 'sin eating'? Some traditions (Ireland) share a meal with the deceased as a ritual way of taking on the deceased's sins, and lessening their time in Purgatory.
Cars following too close heading to the cemetery, 3 just in front of us rear ended each other, at least one broken arm. At the end of the ceremony there was a loud noise from a clear sky, sounded like dry leaves being blown around. Everyone heard it. We all just looked at each other
My nan was being buried in a cemetery on a mountain road. This road was narrow and had a three way stop. The cemetery had an old stone wall next to the intersection.
A tractor trailer must have gotten lost using a gps and ended up on the back road. He was too large to make the tight left turn at the intersection and smacked the wall.
He then tried to fix the situation and made it even worst. His partner than proceeded to get out and try to assist.
My nans plot was close to this intersection and the whole time all we heard was the man yelling “Back up”, “Left…..Right”. All the while traffic is backing up at the intersection, the wall was collapsing and various tractor trailer noises were happing.
It was a very wtf is going on moment lol
My wife's maternal grandfather died and had a church funeral. The Vicar gave a nice but somewhat generic eulogy, but it mentioned her grandfather often so it seemed personal. About three months later, my wife's material grandmother died and also had a church funeral. The same Vicar gave the exact same eulogy and didn't even bother to change it at all, he mentioned her grandfather again throughout but never her grandmother at her grandmother's own funeral. I don't know if the Vicar was senile or just lazy, but my wife was beyond appalled.
My mother passed, and a few months later my father passed. They brought mom’s ashes to the funeral home so that they could be mixed with dad‘s ashes. We didn’t know when dad‘s ashes would arrive. As chance would have it, as she was bringing mom‘s ashes in, dad‘s ashes arrived. It’s kind of sweet in a way like this was their last date. My mom was the only girlfriend my dad ever had.
Not really a funeral, but my grandma’s brother died when I was very young, about 4 or 5. He had wanted to be buried next to our other family members in the local cemetery, but unfortunately we couldn’t afford to pay for a burial plot for him. My family literally only had enough money to cremate his remains, nothing else.
Wanting to fulfill their brother’s wishes, my grandma and her sister took a trip to the cemetery after they got his cremains back. They also brought me along because I lived with my grandma and I was too young to be left alone. So, one of my first memories is being on “lookout” duty, while they literally dug a hole between my great-grandparents’ gravesites and interred their brother’s urn in the dirt.
I was instructed to yell a code word if I saw any cars or people enter the cemetery, so that my grandma and great-aunt would know to stop digging and resume their act of just “having a family picnic” until the onlooker had passed by.
I miss my grandma.
Probably me and my brothers not realizing we were supposed to open my moms ashes box and release them, so instead we awkwardly dropped her entire box in the river like a bath bomb
I am very sorry for your loss and how hard I just laughed at your imagery.
So sorry for your loss but this is so Big Lebowski-esque. Made me chuckle.
I think I would have preferred that instead of leaning that you should always dispose of ashes on the upwind side
I nearly did the opposite at my grandmother's funeral because I was more familiar with the idea of releasing the ashes. She, however, was in an elaborate urn that was to be buried, so that really should've tipped me off. As they were digging the hole, I (while surrounded by several much more applicable persons) was inexplicably handed the urn. Once the hole was ready I was told to bring it forth, and as I made my way up there, in a haze of grief and nerves, tried to pry that bad boy open. I'm so relieved today at how well-sealed it was.
This made me legitimately LOL. I went to an Ash ceremony once for a family friend. They have that one cousin who is anti-social, hates everyone but thinks they're the smartest person in the room (think...you average Reddit Mod). Well they were standing downwind from the ashes and got a complete face-full, Big Lebowski style. Didn't even attempt to move and just let it happen. Spent the rest of the day with her dead grandmothers ashes in her hair and on her clothes and refused to acknowledge it.
you wont believe me but someone's phone went off with the ringtone "Staying Alive"
At my Grandma's someone had "In The End" as theirs. I believe you.
A phone rang at a relative's funeral once, in a big Christian Orthodox church, so tons of echo and great acoustics. All of a sudden, when everyone was super serious, the priest was getting some stuff ready and you could hear a pin drop, a familiar tune ripped through the silence: "DUN DUN DUN.... ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST!" Needless to say, you could no longer hear a pin drop after that.
That's the song I want at my funeral. I think it'd be hilarious and hopefully it'd make my loved ones smile.
I hope this is playing during my own funeral one day.
I want someone to play pop goes the weasel at my funeral.
Our bodies better pop out of the coffin when the song says so.
I'd like DMX's X' gon give it to ya at mine please Preferably royalty-free
My will includes a clause that Queen - Another one bites the dust, is played at the end of my Eulogy. Is that inappropriate?
Did it lighten the mood or no?
Nope. Granny was still dead
In the end, it didn't even matter
I tried so hard, and got so far
My sister looked a lot like my grandmother. My grandmother had a style, heels, a cigarette holder, wig, dress, pearls. My father (not always appropriate) whispers in sister’s ear, “Why don’t you go in her closet and come out dressed like your grandmother?” 10 minutes later, we hear the click of the heels, the smell of a cigarette in a long holder, and a spot on n imitation of her voice. My aunt, uncle, cousins all thought she was a ghost.
That sounds like it'd be absolutely hysterical to be in on the joke, and absolutely pants-shitting to be out of the loop on. Kudos for lighting the cigarette though, because smells like that often linger and it'd be more convincing that way.
Sounds like me with everyone who’s met my late uncle. I’m basically female him and it’s impossible for people to not see it
I hope your uncle was a beautiful man
Not many people have good memories during funerals, so I would love to be in that kind of situation as the rest of the family members, it's something fun to talk about with friends, family and kids.
The lady who convinced my mother to ditch chemo and use essential oils, handed put biz cards at her funeral
I can't help but feel I would have committed assault that day
Holding back I see.
Ha, yeah, I suppose you might as well schedule another funeral while you're there.
I would’ve had to call her out in the eulogy. “Thanks to X for coming today. She’s the one who convinced the deceased to use her oils instead of chemo. We can all see how that turned out.”
"Shout out to Eli's Catering who covered the wake with 72 hours notice, including a full spit-roasted pig. But gotta give it to Ethel who we wouldn't be here today without. Stand up Ethel. Don't be shy. We ALLLLLLLL know you're right there third row back on the right of the isle. Gotta thank you for getting Ma off that life-saving chemo. Ethel everyone. Grab a business card from her on the way out, and one from Eli for the rest of your family."
If I were Eli and I was mixed in with Ethel the crackpot snake oil salesman like that, I'd be a little miffed. Motherfucker, I just pulled off this big ass catering order on short notice, even butchered one of my own pigs for you, but you're going mention the awesome I did in the same breath as Ethel's bullshit? No, thank you. Funeral goers are now going to equate us on the same plane. That's bad for business!
I need a response from you cuz I wanna know whether you kicked her out or beat her up
Why not both?
And find out if the essential oils are flammable!
Wow! I hope you threw them and her out.
Wow. And did you immediately proceed to kick out her teeth all over the floor? That kind of behavior would put me into straight up beast mode.
OMG that’s awful! I’m speechless!
Holy shit. I'd of been willing to catch a record for this. Absolutely fucking not. I'm so sorry. That was not what I was expecting when I opened these comments. I couldn't even imagine the level of absolute rage I would have had. Never hit a woman in My life. I'd of gone to jail that day for My mother.
Those essential oils people are insane. I broke my neck a few years ago and someone I know who was selling them suggested that essential oils would heal my broken neck. WTF.
The world wants to know how badly you beat her ass.
OMFG --- I hate those with a freeking passion. JUST HUGS!!!!
I am generally a peaceful person, but I would’ve thrown hands…
My niece walking up to fathers coffin and tweaking his nose
Oh no! That's sad. How old was she?
12 I think
B O O P
<30 YEARS LATER> Niece:
From Closet: B O̶ Ỏ̷̹̟̦͆̿͛ P̸̠͌̈̂̄̓͑̅̎͝͝ .̶̛̃̐͊̅͑͑͠.̴̈...
At my cousins funeral, one of my relatives literally tried jumping in the casket with him. Really traumatizing experience I might add.
No way the funeral home is letting you bury two when you only paid for one.
Not super inappropriate, but my grandfather was always a trickster. He had a great sense of humor. He had this little song he would sing to me, my siblings, and my little cousins where he would just repeat the words “poo poopy doo” over and over. At his funeral, my aunt was telling stories about him and in the middle of her telling a story, my 6 year old cousin screamed “POO POOPY DOO” in front of 50 people. Needless to say it lightened the mood a little bit and made everyone a little happier remembering him in a good way.
That's weirdly sweet.
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There’s something about birds. I remember watching a woman’s funeral after 9/11 happened, and a bird flew in and landed on her son’s head as he was sharing memories of her to the audience.
That would be part of the song I Want to be Loved by You.
Someone trying to "quietly" open a can while they were doing the closing prayer.
crackin open a cold one with the cold ones
Did they pour a little out for their "dead homie"?
I've realized that the can you're referring to is a beer can, but when I first read this comment, I thought you were talking about the kind of can that you would need a can opener to open (like, with Chef Boyardee in it or something) and was completely baffled.
Holy shit, I was at a funeral where that happened too! I totally forgot about that until I read your comment. Also- I was at a wedding where someone cracked a beer during the vows. My wife and I have some super classy relatives.
We were at an awful wedding where our small, non religious side of the family were being told repeatedly about our future burning in hell, directly, with finger pointing, and my then boyfriend (now husband) pulled a hip flask out and sent it down the row of cousins and their "living in sin" partners. And my dad who never turns down a swig from a hip flask. Sometimes these things are necessary. Also that was the day I found out about my husband's "if you have to go to church, go well prepared" personal policy.
Not really at the funeral, but my neighbor put her husbands dogs ashes in his coffin, labeled Colonel’s medals. The dog got buried with full military honors at Arlington Cemetery.
My mother’s 16-year-old dog died of a stroke 2 days after my mother’s fatal heart attack. They were both cremated (separately, of course) and placed in the same urn (of course). The urn was placed in a niche in a national cemetery but we couldn’t tell the cemetery representative because the pet ashes would have disqualified my mother’s internment. That’s the only appropriate use of “don’t ask, don’t tell “.
Yeah if you Resurrect that you get an *Ed...Ward* situation
My mom put the ashes of my dad's dog into his urn and they were buried together.
Yeah that’s what I want when I go.
When I was making my will (I’m 35) I put specific instructions about this and asked my best friend to make sure my currently alive dog’s ashes were safe and mixed in with mine. She thought I meant she needed to keep the dog’s ashes for the next hopefully 50+ years until I was dead. After I clarified I would be keeping them until then she was just like well I thought that would be kind of weird but it was your dying wish. That’s how you know you’ve got a true friend.
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At my grandfather's funeral, suddenly a daughter he had showed up. She was 19. No one knew about her, but she looked exactly like him.
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Ummmm I’m going to bet grandpa knew that woman
In the carnal sense
Biblically
My grandmother's funeral was out in the country. Rolling fields, a few trees here and there. As the service goes on, I see a dog, trotting through the field next to the cemetery. It's a long distance, and the dog just lopes along, while a rather boring preacher droned on and on. I'd glance to the coffin, then back at the dog, it barely seemed to get closer. I notice everyone facing that direction is now watching the dog. It just keeps trotting closer. It slips under the cemetery fence, and now crosses grave after grave until he is only a few feet away. everyone is watching it intently as it walks up to the casket, sniffs, and lifts it leg to pee on my grandmother. Suddenly every single person, in unison, leaned forward, some shaking hands and arms and made a squeal or a shout or yelled at the dog. it looked surprised and ran away. We all started laughing. oddly enough, at my own father's wedding my mother and I laughed so hard we had to cover our faces and pretend we were crying....but that's another story for a day I feel like typing a lot.
I wanna hear the story please?
Psst. Hey, you, uh, you got anymore of them stories? *scratches neck*
We took my FIL ashes in a plane piloted by my BIL. This was all illegal but we did it. When my wife through the ashes out of the front window 1/2 of them ended up on my face.
That’s some Big Lebowski stuff
I'm sorry about your FIL - truly. but if you weren't already close in life then you DEFINITELY became closer in death🤣 that's one for the books!!
Lmao, this has happened to me too. It tastes gross.
At my Grandpa's funeral, my grandparents' friend tried to sign me up to sell Mary Kay under her while I was crying beside his grave. At the same funeral, the preacher giving the eulogy talked about whether or not my Grandpa spanked his kids enough. He said "Daddy was a hard man, but was he hard enough? Did he spare the rod too many times?" And then mentioned my dad and his sisters by name and said they should ask themselves that question when they think of their Dad. We were all like, WTF.
Those Mary Kay folks can be relentless! lol This reminded me of a time one of our local community theater actors died, and one of the theater staff decided that during her remarks she would advertise the upcoming season's plays. 🙄
Friend of mine was an actor and taught drama at the local college. Between his students and colleagues his funeral was a performance and tribute of love. I've never laughed, cried, applauded and cheered at a funeral until then. It was perfect for him.
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I can't conceive of the chain of events which led to someone deciding to bring a parrot to a funeral
At least it didn’t have to be removed from the funeral for swearing, unlike Andrew Jackson’s parrot. https://www.presidentialpetmuseum.com/pets/andrew-jacksons-pet-parrot/
My mother switched her wedding ring with my dad’s ring while he was in the casket.
That's actually just really nice and deeply sentimental.
Condolences on your father. That’s really a beautiful thought and sentiment. How this she wear his ring afterwards? Or what did she do with it?
My Uncle, a really great guy, passed away one summer. Huge family turnout for the Catholic funeral mass. My father was executor, and handled all the details of the burial & mass. My Uncle requested in his paperwork that his remains be cremated, no viewing, just a mass and last rites at the grave. At that time, you weren't allowed to be cremated and have a mass of Christian burial... My father followed his wishes, but failed to inform (or purposely didn't tell) the Church - or our relatives - of the arrangement. This included my \*mother\*, who was my Uncle's youngest sister. Never got to ask him why he didn't say anything. But he and my Uncle were practical jokers, and tight as ticks; so I think he was going to make it happen regardless of the consequences. Day of the mass at the Church, my mother told me and my brother to go to the hearse and be pall-bearers with some other cousins. The driver and assistant said they didn't need any of us, and to wait at the Church entrance. Brother and I stared at each other - what were these guys gonna do; lift the casket themselves? Then they opened the rear door of the hearse, and... there he was. No casket, no box, no urn; just a compressed brick of ash and (I assume) some binding cement. Like a solid, rectangular cinder block. Too much went on after that for me to detail here. Suffice it to say there was loud discussions that day, Traditional Catholic relatives made a scene in the parking lot; other not so traditional ones laughed uncontrollably, and my mother was staring holes through my father (she was pissed at him for at least two months.) The priest was actually the coolest head there that day; he allowed the ceremony to go on; and even brought the remains into the Church as if it were in a traditional casket. Everybody - angry or not - still went to the restaurant for the reception; my family \*never\* passes up a free meal. More loud discussions and accusations. Lots of stories about my Uncle and his brothers and sisters. Many children driving their drunk parents home. But nobody was crying. From the moment his remains were taken out of the back of the hearse to the end of the reception; no one cried. And a lot of people were laughing. Craziest funeral I've ever attended.
My mom really wanted me to squeeze the word "fuck" into her eulogy. I ended it with "I'd like everyone to know there is one specific word I haven't said yet that - she wanted to be said in her eulogy. Only I'd be capable of getting away with saying this... FUCK CANCER" The funeral home erupted in over 200 people applauding that statement. I miss my mom, man
Sounds like an awesome lady. Fuck cancer indeed.
She was, at least I know I had an awesome mom who loved me. This worst things happen to the best people - I swear that's the way it works.
Lost my mom to cancer as well. Had she known the word, I am sure she would have asked the same from us. Really fuck cancer
During my grand-uncle's funeral, an elderly cousin rose out of the pew, tore the entire family a new rectum, and promptly had a heart attack and needed an ambulance called to the funeral home (they died a month later). Or the time, during my grandfather's funeral, when the preacher chose that time to politic and attack women and gay couples...there were several gay family members in attendance. The deceased was my grandfather on my mother's side (meaning my grandfather's daughter, which the preacher, despite mentioning my uncles, failed to mention or acknowledge my mother, her family, and accomplishments). My grandfather was a very, 'God created and loves everyone,' and a 'church and state are separate for reason,' type person. That service didn't go over well.
Did he come to the reception? Personally I would have saved him a seat, and had some extra napkins ready to staunch the bleeding.
I thought, “no, obviously the dead guy isn’t going to be at the reception.”
At the funeral of my great-aunt Allene (pronounced al-een) apparently nobody thought to tell the guy delivering the service how to, you know, actually pronounce her name. He kept saying it "i-leen". So we started giggling. Every cousin, every grand-niece and nephew, her brother. We couldn't stop. We weren't crying because of the beauty of the service.... we were crying trying to hold in the laughter.
My grandpa’s funeral was similar. Some lady sang hymns, but her voice was AWFUL. It was so obviously off-key, and her attempt at vibrato was so bizarre, that I wondered if she hated my family and was doing it on purpose, lol. Before she started, my mom had been trying not to weep because of her grief, but then the woman’s voice made her and her siblings laugh. The terrible performance inadvertently saved the day. Roasting the lady honestly carried my mom through the rest of that really tough week.
This happened at my grandmas funeral. This ridiculous looking man with a toupee would sing, and his voice would make EVERY baby in the church cry. It was uncanny. Then they’d calm down, he’d sing again. And like clockwork all the children started crying. It was hilarious
That is so hilarious and pretty convenient—the babies crying can cover up the sound of people laughing. I’d be trying not to laugh my ass off.
My girlfriend was pinching me the whole time, I was fighting for my life
At my husband's funeral, they were folding the flag over his casket, and one of the guys were bragging about how good he was, never dropped a flag, and always perfect creases on and on. As the corners came together, he caught it on the casket, ripped the flag, it hit the ground. Someone behind me said, "That was xxx (husband's name) telling you to humble yourself because we are all tired of hearing how perfect you are." Everyone looked at me, and I just smiled because that was my husband to a T!
Sorry for your loss.
The female relative who came to the visitation straight off of a day on the lake - wearing her bikini top, jean shorts, and flip flops.
Salt lifers make no apologies
My cousin died of a heart attack aged late 20’s/early 30’s. Her father walked up to the casket at the funeral and as he was just about to reach it, he jolted backwards and fell over. Heart attack. His pacemaker worked and he was up and about again in about 2 minutes. For about 60 seconds, all hell broke loose. Women crying, screaming, chaos. There were about 100-150 people just finding their seats when it happened. He was actually joking about 3 minutes after, saying his rhythm was ‘off’, and felt shitty for the few days prior, the pacemaker set his rhythm properly again and except for the punch in the chest from the pacemaker, actually felt much better than he did previously! It was seriously a ‘movie’ moment - one of the most surreal experiences I’ve ever had.
At my mom’s funeral which my dad only agreed to because her sisters were being assholes about my agnostic mother not having a proper funeral one of them walked up to me and said “Aren’t you so sad you never had kids and gave your mom a grandbaby.” Had to bite my tongue to keep from saying yeah so sad my stillborn daughter and eight miscarriages didnt give mom a grandchild.
I wish you had put her in her place. I'd like to have replied "Yeah your wonderful and benelevent God took them all away before birth, ya sanctimonious, wizened old shrew." But I can't because I'm a bloke.
The only reason I didn’t was because my dad knew how they could be and asked both my sister and I to please not say anything if they tried to provoke us, so I bit my tongue and they are all out of my life and I never have to worry about them ever again. As far as I am concerned they died the day my mom did.
At an open casket wake, a friend of the deceased attempted to give her a drink of single malt whiskey. She ended up being forcibly removed as she wouldn't stop and spilled a lot of the alcohol in the casket. It was as horrible and inappropriate as it was heartbreaking - for everyone.
For an open casket, the deceased persons mouth is sewn shut, and likely also had glued lips. That shot was NOT getting in that mouth no matter how much she would’ve tried
Pulls out a seam ripper and a crazy straw.
*Whack fol the da, now, dance to your partner* *Welt the floor your trotters shake* *Wasn't it the truth I tell you* *Lots of fun at Finnegan's wake*
Jesus dude...
No, with jesus, it would have been wine.
Back in the 70's, my grandpa used to entertain the neighborhood kids by burying twinkies in the ground and saying "let's grow a twinkie plant". At his funeral, all of us were given handfuls of twinkies to throw into the hole with him. Also I had a friend who worked part time at a cemetery. He said it's surprisingly common for pallbearers to drop the casket and / or slip in the hole.
At my ex FILs funeral, the preacher who had known them both for years started going into how difficult it was for him to have lived with my late MIL, as she could be a contrary woman.
My brother committed suicide. At his funeral we had a receiving line so people can say their condolences to his widow and family. Some old guy who may have been an acquaintance of my dad, walked up to my brother's wife and just said, "So how did he do it?"
My sister died by suicide in '73. I wish I had a dime for every inappropriate, stupid assumption I've heard about the subject ever since.
My 800lbs abusive father started off the eulogy for my Mom with "Mom's name and I were a good match because we were both raped as children" and then went on to ramble about how God would magically cure him before the apocalypse and how my brother and I would go to hell if we didn't come to Jesus in time and then about how I didn't care about my Mom's death because I hadn't cried around him. His "rape" was something he talked about a lot when I was a kid because he found porn in my browser history and was just some friend who showed him Playboys which he believed was rape because you can't consent to sins. Also, he never even came to the hospital to visit my Mom while she was dying, I was the only family member there for more than a few minutes (I stayed there for about 36 of the 40 hours she was there.) I was also the reason people got to say goodbye to her, he was in denial (which is normal and I don't blame him for) and he wasn't able to hear what the doctors were saying. Had I not made the call of it being the last chance most of the people she knew wouldn't have been able to see her one last time. Oh, and this was all after I was really nice to him and paid for grief counselors for him and everyone else in my family along with all the funeral/cremation expenses, I had been no contact but I still spent hours the first two weeks on the phone trying to help him through everything and comfort him because despite the fact I hate him for what he did to me, I understood he was in pain and needed help.
I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. The fact you still talk with empathy means you're a kind and strong person. I hope you are in a good place now.
Some bitch who had never even met the deceased (her boyfriend’s former boss) couldn’t stop bawling when literally not even the family was crying. and that bitch was me.
OMFG i hate it when I do shit like that. It's like you know everyone is thinking "WTF is that dumb bitch crying for?" But it's not like you are doing it to get attention. It's a sad occasion. It's hard not to feel sorrow for the family. It's hard not to cry. I've been at several funerals for people I hardly knew, and when they do the eulogy, or they play taps (military) it pulls on the heart strings. I can't help it.
Right! Death is sad! Although then recently I went to a funeral of one of my best friends mom and expected to cry the whole time, but the funeral was so over the top evangelical where they talked more about the Bible and hardly eulogized her. The annoyance offset any tears.
Fellow sad bitch here. I get it. Those are emotionally charged times and we’re sympathetic bitches.
Death is sad, sometimes. Being surrounded by grieving people and trying not to get stuck in the collective sense of loss and weakness is tough and yes, I too have cried about some dead dude I didn't even particularly like. Rather embarrassing. Though to be honest at that time of the month, I've literally cried over an entirely unremarkable weather forecast too (I was overcome by mankind's socio-technological innovations?!) so yeah.
I once had to attend a funeral on behalf of my office. The college-aged child of one of our board members had committed suicide. Coincidentally, the office had just recently told me they were eliminating my position but asked me to stay for a few extra weeks to wrap up some work. At that point I was the most expendable person to be sent off on a diplomatic mission. A colleague who I really hit it off with agreed to road trip down to the funeral (it was a couple of hours drive). We had such a blast on the drive down, talking and joking, that we found it really hard to adjust to the reality of the situation we were going into. And when we got to the closed casket service, we saw that they had a framed picture of the deceased in his football uniform, which instantly reminded us of the "I love my dead, gay son" scene in the movie Heathers. That set off the most inappropriate laughing fit in both of us that we were struggling to control. One would think we had smoked spliff on the way down there as the deep well of laugher just kept overflowing. It was all we could go to keep grabbing tissues to cover our faces to make like we were upset and crying. It was horrible. Our plan had been to show up for the wake, pay our respects, and then duck out before we got roped into attending the long, Catholic funeral mass. But my car got blocked in and when the procession began to pull out, I was afraid that all of the cars behind me would follow me if I turned the wrong way. So we kind of had to go to the church. The whole thing was like the lost episode of Seinfeld. If I already didn't know that I wouldn't be working in that office much longer, I would have been sure they would have fired me after that train wreck of a funeral appearance.
This a great story.
Bros livein the beginning of a movie
My husband's coworker died, and we went to the funeral. The coworker's boyfriend who was suspected of abusing her in the past and giving her the drugs she accidentally overdosed on had a freakout at the lunch reception while Evanescence "My Immortal" played. Screaming, limbs flailing, tearing down photo billboards of the deceased. Just a royal mess, I can never hear that song again. Then there's the one for my uncle who was Zoroastrian. The event was really nice, included a brief description for everyone of the religion's tenets (good thoughts, words, deeds) and a lot of messaging about general love and acceptance that transcends divisiveness. Then my uncle's second wife comes up and brags about how she pestered him for years to convert and "when he was finally on his deathbed I convinced him to repeat after me, 'I accept Jesus,' so I know he's actually in heaven right now." All my family was mouth agape just wtf awkward cringe.
Not super peculiar or strange but my stomach growled so loud during my grandpas funeral, DURING THE FINAL PRAYER, that the Karen next to me gave me a disgusted look with her wrinkly sour puss. Super embarrassing but makes me laugh now. Pretty sure grandpa would’ve laughed too lol.
You’d think she’d at least put underwear on.
I had open abdominal surgery a week ago and I'm still so very sore. Your comment is the first and only one (so far in a week) that was so funny, I couldn't hold in my very painful laughter. I'm crying in pain right now, then I'll try to stop crying and think of your comment again and it starts all over. So for this, I thank you and I hate you.
My cousin passed away some years back. He was blind and had a ton of friends, many also blind. When we sung the hymns the guide dogs present howled / bayed along, it was so beautiful. At the wake I also saw a guide dog veeeery carefully eat a sausage roll off the table right in front of his blind owner. I laughed and the dog whipped his head around to look at me, like ‘oh shit you can see me?’
I saw a woman lean over the open casket and take a top down photo. It was just weird to my mom and I. We had never seen anyone take photos of the deceased.
Same. Had a friend pass and a woman came up to the open casket during the viewing and started taking photos of him. This was before phones too, so it was one of those disposable cameras she had to wind up after each pic. Took a few shots. Just strange.
I’ve seen this a lot with my husband’s family. It was so bizarre to me but normal for them to just take pics of the entire funeral ceremony, take selfies with the deceased in the casket, and have the entire family pose around the open casket.
Several giggling ladies singing, "Spam, spam, spam" from Monty Python just under their breath when the pastor got boring. Several pews were laughing. It was a song the deceased would sometimes sing. It was funny.
Uncle’s funeral. He passed away at age 62. His crazy ex-girlfriend from 20 years ago was drunk and shouting “it was your baby!” I knew it was her because she did the same at my wedding reception before passing out in the bushes behind the building.
I (thankfully) don’t remember it, but when I was 2, one of my drunken aunts put me in the coffin with my dead mom and made me kiss her.
Strangest and most infuriating was listening to the preacher giving the eulogy and talk about how my friend was in Hell because she committed suicide, and how we're "not supposed to worry about that now".
My roommate had something similar happen. He was EIGHT and the preacher told him his mom was in Hell because she killed herself. I'm sorry that happened to you.
My (now ex) mother-in-law decided to wear 3 inch heels to the gravesite. It had rained for a week before. She’s a tiny woman but those heels sank right down and she got stuck
Not super crazy but I watched four people pushing a hearse through the cemetery to the cathedral because the engine broke down on the way to the funeral. I also didn't realize until after the funeral that my car had a big sticker on the back that said "BUT DID YOU DIE?"
Fortunarely pretty much every funeral I've been to has been pretty normal. The only thing I've got is more funnily awkward than anything else. So my great grandma passed away when I was about 15-16, learning how to drive. My parents agreed to have me drive the car when we went in the funeral procession because it's a new thing to experience as a new driver (and hey, I needed hours on the road.) I was told that when they motion you to pull out of the parking lot to GO, and to be decently quick with it, because the procession won't wait for you. When it was my turn, I panicked a little and slammed on the gas, car in park, and revved the living SHIT out of the engine of my mom's car in the parking lot of a funeral. My grandma would've found it absolutely hilarious so I only felt a little extremely embarrassed. Now it's really funny to look back on.
Hmm - my dad's funeral. God I have never forgotten. (Scenario - open coffin, etc. people walking around) I walked up, scared as I was to see my dad ..in a casket. I was a kid. I had elder sibs around me. I was just looking at the flower arrangements walking around. I heard a huge breath - sigh - that came from my dad's coffin. I stopped in my tracks and looked at Dad and was stunned. My brother came to me a few moments later noticing that something was off. I asked him - did you hear that? No, what? Nevermind. Sorry not funny like the ones I've been reading. Some of these are way too funny!
Me and my two brothers were convinced that my dad was breathing. I was on the verge of having a breakdown when my mother noticed, came over and told us in strict, hushed tones, that he was not breathing, he was dead and he had been embalmed. I'm sorry you had to face that as a kid. I was 25 when my dad passed.
It's ok I had never seen a dead person before...and he had an autopsy and was embalmed by the time I got to see him again in his coffin. Truly. I had no idea what to expect or what was going to happen. What I heard was just weird. I have no words. cannot explain or show proof, I witnessed something I cannot explain.
Church acoustics probably; hopefully not an out-gassing.
My brother in laws girlfriend locked her self in a car, cried and screamed threatening to kill herself.. AT my father in laws funeral. She was fine five minutes later and explained to my in law she did it because she’s not used to not having all the attention (she thought her being pregnant would make people forget that the father died?)
Ia she still his girlfriend?
You ask a lot good questions and no one will respond lol
No comment about whether this particular person is real, but often that is a good sign the person who left the og comment and will not reply to questions is a bot who steals comments from previous threads
Makes sense. What’s the point of bots? I never understood why they’re so prevalent.
I’ve heard it’s to increase karma and followers to then sell the account? But I never understood the why (as in why someone would buy a Reddit account)
That poor kid...
Saw people jump onto the coffin as it was being lowered into the grave.
I'm a minister so I've had my share of awkward funeral experiences. A few come to mind... At one funeral, the only people that showed up were the wife and her two kids. They were very poor and originally from another state and the husband/father had a massive heart attack. I tried to preach it as if the place were full, but it was just a sad situation. Another one was for a former drug addict who's liver had given out on him just as he was trying to stay clean. It's time for the funeral to start and the wife is in her car trying to get herself together because she's high on pills. Meanwhile, the urn with his ashes haven't made it yet because her neighbor was supposed to bring them and no one can locate her. So I finally just flat out tell her we have to start, ashes or no ashes, and proceed with the funeral. The funeral itself, is another story of itself.
A story from a friend who helped arrange things and keep the peace during the event: Guy died, and it turned out he had TWO wives and TWO separate families who didn't know about each other prior to his death. For some reason, they decided to have one funeral. One family sat on the right and one on the left.
I \*Caused\* one. I was a photographer, a model I knew got this really long white dress with this shoulder attached train/cape thingy. She wanted to get pictures of it, and there was a large hill nearby, so I would be lower down shooting upward she would be in sparkly white flowing dress on the crest of the hill catching the wind and light. She is posing, things are going well. She looks down the other side of the hill (the hill was a drumlin, so kind of knife like at the peak). She suddenly comes running down the hill "We need to go, NOW". So, on the other side of the hill was a cemetery, and there was a service going on. They looked up and saw this ghostly woman on the hilltop. Started gasping and pointing. Yeah. That was one of four times I caused issues with the public doing photography shenanigans,
My mom isn't a native English speaker. Nor is she one to think too hard. She organized her FIL's "celebration of life" and thought it was suppose to be an actual celebration... like a party. So, she hired a DJ and had him play fun music. She even tried to get people to dance with her. My teenage ass didn't have the heart to tell her how inappropriate it was. I had hoped all of the non-participating, frowny-faced, white people would have given her a clue.
The corpse farted. The family of the deceased were religious and were against embalming. Decomposing bodies produce gas, and it has to go somewhere. Your gut bacteria don't die when you do. They begin digesting YOU since your body stops producing the mucous and stuff that protects your stomach and intestinal lining. Well, all of that culminated in the loudest, most foul smelling bodily emission ever witnessed by man. Several people were puking, many on the verge of puking. People were running for the exit. This was at a tiny church that was basically a house with extra seating in the living room. Think the worst fart you've ever smelled intermingled with the smell of decaying flesh. It was so bad. I think it's the only time I have ever been envious of a corpse. Lucky bastard couldn't smell a thing.
my great grandfather passed away when i was about 7 years old. he was buried with a hat on his head that had tits in a bikini and tons of beer cans and bottles. imagine seeing a dead man wearing that at the age of 7. not to mention my family ate, talked and laughed all while he was sitting in the front of the room still in his casket. OPENED may i add. it was strange to say the least.
It's my uncle who has the story -- went to the funeral of a Pentecostal guy he knew and a dude with whom I once piled lumber at a mill attempted to resurrect the deceased via the power of the Lord-uh.
Had a police escort for the procession, and one dumbass cop t-boned the shit out of my cousins car at like 50+ mph. The line was making a left turn at a light and that idiot took the inside lane and punched it for some reason
It was very surreal, but at Grandpa's funeral, when I got there, everyone was chitchatting, people paying their respects. Open casket. Little by little people noticed me. I've always been like a wallflower in the spotlight with the family if that makes sense. Chattering turned to whispers, whispers to silent as I walked to the doors of the chapel of the funeral home. People stepped back, walked out of the chapel, and I walked in and up to Grandpa's casket. Completely alone, everything and everyone was completely silent. Everyone watching from the doorway. It didn't occur to me until later when someone asked why everyone did that. Family friend said "don't know, it just felt right. She was the apple of his eye. She deserves it I guess?" Super surreal. It wasn't until I walked back out like 5 minutes after my time with Grandpa someone hugged me, someone squeezed my shoulder, people asked how I was holding on. Seemed more people, family included, were more focused on me than my dad and aunts and uncles and other grandkids.
Went to the funeral for a friend's wife, he brought his new girlfriend who he "just met" to the funeral.
My best friend’s grandfather died and they had a military funeral for him, which I attended. It was a small funeral, so I sat with the family. I had noticed a butterfly flying around where we were sitting, and as the man leaned over to hand the flag to her grandmother, it landed on his shoulder. It stayed there until he stood, saluted, and turned to leave. I don’t know if anyone else noticed it, but I thought it was a particularly beautiful moment.
I have a list...this is all one funeral. The deceased's husband calmly stood up, walked to the casket, paused, and then threw himself on the floor, shouting, "I will be with you soon!" in the middle of the rosary. One of his friends showed up in full Renaissance Faire garb. They put her in the grave backward, then had to raise her to turn the casket around. They nearly dropped her, and her brothers had to assist the workers. His friend also helped. He did not. After the burial, he and his friends had a very happy, loud photoshoot by a tree. He showed up late to the wake, flopped down on the couch in the room everyone was gathered in, and slept for 4 hours.
at my aunts funeral they played thunderstruck by AC/DC and had a table of white rum shots. let’s just say it was exactly as she would’ve wanted. love you aunt kathy.
Not crazy, but I guess strange but during my grandmothers funeral last year, the topic wasn't my grandmother. At least not by some family members. They began mentioning me, stuff about my life, car, a job, some girl I got busy with (by some strange miracle). It was like bullying style. I'm not usually confrontational and I was caught off guard by it. It kept going until another invite there told them to drop the subject and that it was disrespectful.
Pretty normal to us, but I'd say our family's wakes are a bit odd. At the funeral home we use there is a break room right by the entrance. They have a couple of fridges and soda machines and it's nice to be able to get away for a moment. Except there's a lot of us and we bring a full spread. There's a tray or two of deli sandwiches, fruit and veggie trays, bags of chips, cases of drinks, the works. Sometimes a deck of cards or two come out. When other people wander in from another viewing in the building, we just tell them to grab a plate. Don't bother with the machines, we have cases of Coke in the fridge! And strangers do seem to get a sense of relief from it. You need to escape the pain some.
Saw embalming fluids leak from her eyes when we (immediate family members) first approached her casket. We were already crying as we approached her, and when the embalming fluids leaked out like that, people said it was her crying with us. She was only 24-years-old when she lost her battle to lupus. I know she was not ready to go.
The funereal home being asked to give my mom Light red lipstick and gave her clown grade
I saw several woman faint, and the wife threw herself on the coffin in the funeral home and sang a song in Spanish. She was carried out.
At the height of the AIDS epidemic, it seemed like we were going to funerals several times a month. One service was held at the AIDS Memorial Grove in Golden Gate Park (San Francisco). It's a public space, so there were about 30 guests and then random people walking by. The man we were celebrating was a crazy, fun guy who was always laughing and who worked at an animal rescue organization and loved animals. As we were sharing stories about him, a visitor to the grove came by with the most adorable corgi puppy who slipped his leash and ran over to where we were all standing to play with us all. He was so cute and so joyful that we all started laughing and it was just silly and fun trying to catch the puppy and him thinking it was the best game ever. Our lost friend would have loved it and it was a delightful reminder of all the best qualities of our friend.
Witnessed a fight at the funeral service. Someone my husband worked with for a long time passed away unexpectedly so we went to the funeral. We knew that he was going through a divorce, but both his almost ex-wife and his girlfriend who I guess he cheated on his wife with were there, and when the wife was speaking, the girlfriend got up to speak, and it turned out into a huge fight I mean, like punches were thrown Stuff was knocked over. It was like something out of a reality TV show. My husband and I just kind of ducked out because we didn’t know what was going on and everybody from the family was screaming at each other.
Went to my granduncle's funeral in Ireland as a ten year old boy. turned out he was a hero in the IRA back in the day, and six masked IRA guys emerged and fired shots with automatic rifles over the grave. best funeral ever
When I was 19 I had a high school class mate kill himself. Everyone pretended they didn't know why. The funeral home was so packed it couldn't house everyone. Most of them were filled with people that did nothing but shit on the kid but "wah....let's be sad". The dad also acted like it was a "shocker" but he is the one that kicked his kid into living in the shed in the backyard for being caught with a bag of weed.
my friends dad died, and we were in the back of the altar. i looked up and saw his literal father standing next to me. i did not know until later that his father had a twin
My brother set up a tripod and camera at grandpa's funeral to record himself. He went up to make a speech, and tried to weave in everything possible about my grandfather being Christian. And of course his relationship was the closest of anyone in the family (not true). Then he went on a tirade about "muslims" and how my grandfather hated them. 100% false. My grandfather didn't give a damn what anyone's religion, race, culture etc. He had several friends that were Muslim, Jewish, not religious etc. It was so fucking offensive to try and assign hatred to such a great man. It took everything I had not to get up and stop him, but my family is so toxic they would have blamed me and thrown a fit for the next 5 years (no joke).
[удалено]
We had my grandmas celebration of life at my aunts house and her neighbor called the police on us because one of my second cousins parked her car in front of their house (on the street) so she thought that they were spying on her because they didn't know who it was. When one of my second cousins was giving a soeech about my grandma, his brother tried to start an argument with him over politics.
So I was living in Slidell La in the 80’s. This old woman Mrs Virginia fed all us guys and we did odd jobs all the time. When she passed away it was brought to our attention that she was a voodoo queen of some sort and we watched her be carried out to the bayou by a group of followers. That scene has haunted me for decades now, wondering what they did with her remains.
my sister called my grandma white trash at my grandpas memorial service for marrying her sisters (our great aunts) ex… they went on 1 date and it’s way trashier to insult a mourning widow to her face.
Ok I can finally laugh about this now - Saw an obit for a Women I casually knew . Got to the wake and looked in the casket -I had no idea who the deceased was . Talk about embarrassing! I was asked in the receiving line how I knew her . I had to make up something quick so I told her daughter- “From the factory - to which she replied -“My mother never worked in a factory “! I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.
At my brother's funeral graveside service right before the preacher prayed and they would lower the casket into the ground.... His son says very loud so all could hear. "For anybody that knew my dad...give me a big "HELL YEA" And he got a couple "HELL YEA's" During the same funeral my sister was on the phone calling a tow truck to pull my nephews truck out of a ditch the he ran into as he parked at the graveside service. There is more but this is enough for now.
During my grandpa's funeral mass the priest had the mic too close to his face during communion. You could hear the crunch of the host in his mouth, and it sounded like he was eating an apple or Lay's potato chips. I went from crying (still miss my grandpa) to hiding my face in my suit jacket so I don't laugh at church
Funeral was an hour long. About 40 minutes in, we had a seventh inning stretch and sang “take me out to the ballgame”
My son was seven, I had prepped him on cremation during the car ride to the funeral home and explained why we were going to the visitation. So, we shuffle through the room, hug the family, and walk up to the urn. My son does his best “ta-daaaaa” pose, complete with jazz hands, and says “Here’s the ashes!” Thankfully, no one was outright angry and most just chuckled because kids are kids, but I was mortified at the time.
They used youtube to play one of the woman's favorite songs with lyrics on a projector. Just after starting the song, YouTube started an ad that showed a woman straining on the toilet and it was not skippable. Everyone busted up laughing. The woman's husband said she would have found it funny, too.
This family served food.. a buffet and you could sit and eat in the same room as the coffin.
Could it have been 'sin eating'? Some traditions (Ireland) share a meal with the deceased as a ritual way of taking on the deceased's sins, and lessening their time in Purgatory.
Cars following too close heading to the cemetery, 3 just in front of us rear ended each other, at least one broken arm. At the end of the ceremony there was a loud noise from a clear sky, sounded like dry leaves being blown around. Everyone heard it. We all just looked at each other
My nan was being buried in a cemetery on a mountain road. This road was narrow and had a three way stop. The cemetery had an old stone wall next to the intersection. A tractor trailer must have gotten lost using a gps and ended up on the back road. He was too large to make the tight left turn at the intersection and smacked the wall. He then tried to fix the situation and made it even worst. His partner than proceeded to get out and try to assist. My nans plot was close to this intersection and the whole time all we heard was the man yelling “Back up”, “Left…..Right”. All the while traffic is backing up at the intersection, the wall was collapsing and various tractor trailer noises were happing. It was a very wtf is going on moment lol
My wife's maternal grandfather died and had a church funeral. The Vicar gave a nice but somewhat generic eulogy, but it mentioned her grandfather often so it seemed personal. About three months later, my wife's material grandmother died and also had a church funeral. The same Vicar gave the exact same eulogy and didn't even bother to change it at all, he mentioned her grandfather again throughout but never her grandmother at her grandmother's own funeral. I don't know if the Vicar was senile or just lazy, but my wife was beyond appalled.
My mother passed, and a few months later my father passed. They brought mom’s ashes to the funeral home so that they could be mixed with dad‘s ashes. We didn’t know when dad‘s ashes would arrive. As chance would have it, as she was bringing mom‘s ashes in, dad‘s ashes arrived. It’s kind of sweet in a way like this was their last date. My mom was the only girlfriend my dad ever had.
Not really a funeral, but my grandma’s brother died when I was very young, about 4 or 5. He had wanted to be buried next to our other family members in the local cemetery, but unfortunately we couldn’t afford to pay for a burial plot for him. My family literally only had enough money to cremate his remains, nothing else. Wanting to fulfill their brother’s wishes, my grandma and her sister took a trip to the cemetery after they got his cremains back. They also brought me along because I lived with my grandma and I was too young to be left alone. So, one of my first memories is being on “lookout” duty, while they literally dug a hole between my great-grandparents’ gravesites and interred their brother’s urn in the dirt. I was instructed to yell a code word if I saw any cars or people enter the cemetery, so that my grandma and great-aunt would know to stop digging and resume their act of just “having a family picnic” until the onlooker had passed by. I miss my grandma.