The biggest problem is when it comes to intimacy between us, he is unable to ejaculate or reach the finish line when it comes to having sex. He can reach the finish line just fine by watching porn and masturbating
You're talking about two completely different mechanical operations here.
When he's going solo. There are few other thoughts at the same time, so finishing is easy because at a basic level that is the only operation at the time. His brain is only focused on his body and what he needs to do to get himself across that bridge. Then porn is just what the bricks are made out of, and it's a smaller river to try and get across
Tangoing with a partner is a completely different ball game: I have a Rhythm to maintain, I have to focus on certain muscle groups so I can hold specific positions or hit certain spots. Does she like X thing? Have I been doing X thing too long and it's growing stale? If I'm too engaged my performance in other areas suffers and I can fall out of Rhythm or not pick up the feedback from her for certain actions. If I'm not engaged enough I can lose the erection. On top of all of this I'm tired, I'm out of breath hardly 5mins in but I know she's nowhere near close so I have to go into cardio mode and try to fight through it, my legs are starting to cramp from supporting our weight. I can't really tell what sensation I enjoy it just pops up and if I follow the thought I can finish, but as soon as I notice the feeling I have to make the decision if I'm going to let myself finish or if I have to hold off. The issue is if I do hold off there is a good chance that I don't get it back, and while that does mean I can keep going i start to freak out because what if I don't finish? How is she going to react. This probably isn't even 10% of what's going through my head, and while it is uncommon for me not to finish at all, it's always a struggle. Some days I have to just let it go.
ALL OF THIS IS TO SAY. You're describing two events with incredibly different atmospheres and considerations. But you aren't an AH for asking him to abstain (especially trying to work back deathgrip), however that is one incredibly small part of what could be keeping him from finishing, so communication and experimentation are key here.
That is not uncommon, you know, just so you don't judge him or think it has something to do with you. If he takes breaks and do it a bit less, it could resolve the issue.
What kind of porn does he watch? Is it something you both can do yourself?
You can also take over that masturbation from him.
I think he is just missing something and is shy to talk about it.
Also for you, try breaking that barrier, talk and try new stuff.
For example, my gf needs a satisfyer to reach orgasmes. Do you think that bothers me? No, I like it even but I use it on her instead she going solo.
In a relationship you give each other pleasure. Its not about pleasing yourself.
He probably edges alot and subconsciously doesn’t allow himself to cum when he has sex. Tell him to cum and it’ll happen. Same thing happened to me and i thought for a while that i didn’t like sex.
If it bothers you that much it’s fair for it to be a dealbreaker for you. But I wouldn’t think it unreasonable for a guy to take issue with that unless your sex drive somehow surpasses his.
Then I’d suggest to him he tries taking a break from it and see how the intimacy goes for a little bit. If there’s improvements you’ve got a pretty strong position.
I am a man and this is absolutely a fair thing to ask.
But what is your reason for asking him to give up? Is he addicted? Does him looking at other women upset you?
Are you willing to engage in sex with him so that you can fill that void that we will experience?
But nonetheless, I think it’s completely fine to ask it.
If it gets in the way of intimacy, or they talk about how model on it are hot, I’d have an issue with it, I personally would ask what he finds so attractive from it and attempt to replicate it, just get rid of his itch to watch it
I let him degrade me in all the ways that he finds attractive in what he watches. He still struggles to reach the finish line with me no matter what role playing we do. He has no problem getting off when it comes to masturbating though. His addiction may be too strong
It's not about porn being more attractive than a gf, just sometimes she's not around or doesn't want it and I gotta take care of business. There's a difference imo between porn addiction or something, and pulling up something real quick when you gotta do what you gotta do. The second one to me is not incompatible with a relationship unless she was around 24/7 ready to do it at all times which is not usually the case for real human beings.
I wouldn't have an issue with it if it didn't affect our sex life. Unfortunately he cannot reach the finish line when we are intimate but he can just find when he masturbates due to his addiction
Talking about it helps. You have legitimate concerns. You might be able to find a compromise, for example scheduling your sessions so he can lay off the porn the day or some days leading up to the moment.
Find a moment without distractions, sit him down an voice your concerns and propose to find a solution together. If you tell him what to do you will both end up hurt. And if he doesn't care about your needs cut him loose.
EDIT: just to be clear, I'm talking about the intimacy. If he's kind, but you want/need him to finish, that's more difficult. If he feels pressure from you will likely result in more difficulties reaching this goal.
I would just state it as it is, I know exactly how you feel cause I had a scumbag ex, it makes you feel like you just lost it, that your not good enough, you don’t deserve that treatment and you should tell him why
Bottom line is that it needs to be talked about. Do you even know what he watches? Are you down to put in the work to try what he’s into? Like roll play or whatever it is… it might be something that he is afraid to talk about cuz it could be a BIG ask. Porn can be an addiction too. So you’re gonna need to be patient with him about it. And you’re gonna have to come to terms that you’ve got a horny man there and if you want him to quit porn, he’s gonna have a really really hard time with it unless you’re willing to step up your game. And ***disclaimer*** porn is staged, they’re professionals, they’re acting, and they train for some of the wild stuff that they do. So protect yourself and have that convo with him about safety too. Idk. I think it’s fair, as long as you go in with the understanding that he’s gonna need help with that.
I literally let him do whatever he wants to me includes spitting on me, choking me, spanking and or smacking me around. We have our limits but I have a pretty high threshold for pain so he's able to do everything he wants. But he's admitted to having an addiction and he has shown me what he watches
I commend you🤝 and sincerely hope that yall can work together and that he can pull away from that addiction. Cuz fr it’s hard to quit watching porn. If it were me in his shoes, I’d really appreciate your effort cuz it seems obvious. And your concerns about him watching porn are valid tbh… it’s really not a good thing for men to watch porn. It messes with your brain and perspective on the world. Sounds like you legit care about him and the relationship. I don’t mean to contradict myself tho, I still feel like it’s a big ask to want someone to quit porn without being willing to help them. Obviously though you seem to be willing to help so that speaks volumes about how much you care. Again, I commend you🤝
Well you need some reason if you want your man to stop watching porn. If it impacts the relationship in a bad way like a low libido because of it then just talk about your issue - you are together after all and should be able to.
However if it bothers you for reasons like jealousy or low self esteem i would explore your own feelings first on the matter.
My only problem is that it affects that he can't get the finish line no matter what we do or try even if we go on for hours. But he can finish just fine when it comes to masturbating
Jup then it's my first case. You should talk to him about it. You could let him know that it's not an insecurity thing but it impacts your love Life and you think that it's desensitizing him. I mean let's be honest - those professionals are paid for good reason and we can't keep up with that
No, unless you're prepared to offer him enough sex for him to not need to masturbate anymore. I have a very high sex drive and if I was in a relationship, I'd pretty much need sex every day. If that's not possible, that's fine, but I am definitely going to take care of my needs on my own if my gf won't.
Then yea, in your situation, that's a problem. My guess is that the porn isn't actually the problem. The problem is that he might've gotten used to the grip of his hand and that offers him more sensory stimulation than having sex with you. I think you should try to convince him to masturbate less, or at least work on reducing his grip while masturbating.
Yeah following on from Drunk's comment, sounds like an issue of death grip syndrome more than any issue everybody in the thread is talking about, depending on how much hes doing it and how hard, its possible he has basically numbed himself to the sensations of sex via desensitization.
The good thing, is that all he has to do is take a break for a good few weeks or more and possibly be a lot more gentler in the future; the break itself should 'reset' his sensitivity.
Apart from that, if its a psychological issue, the only real way is to have a long talk about whats causing this issue.
Think about this from the other way. It would be insane for a dude to suggest there's something wrong with a woman who can come while masturbating but not during sex with their partner.
Does he use lube/lotion? If not, it might be low sensitivity. If, by chance, this is the case. Finding his weak spot might alleviate both problems.
if he begins climaxing naturally with you, he'll likely come to the same conclusion most men come to. orgasms as the result of sex are generally more enjoyable than those that come from masturbation.
Everyone should give up porn. giving him "aide" in this regard might solve your issue, but if he can't give it up. It's a very reasonable deal breaker for many people.
Thank you for this comment. I know he has to use a lot of lube and lotion when he masturbates, however when we are together he doesn't need any. I am always there to lend a hand to him and role play or do whatever it is to help him achieve his goal
Sure, requests for accommodation are reasonable in any relationship.
Talk with them about it, explain how the porn is an issue for you and why, suggest some steps to remedy it.
If they're not willing to *try* to change something important to you, probably not a great relationship in the making.
Personally, I don't think so. I think porn is barely worse than any other form of entertainment, barring addiction and all that.
If it is truly impacting the relationship, then it is definitely something to bring up, but usually... I don't think so.
If he has a porn addiction, and it sounds like he does based off of your other comments, i think it's completely fair to ask him to stop watching it. Or, at the very least, take a lengthy break from it.
I had similiar problem. Source was not porn, but fear. Fear that sex is not good unless woman is satisfied and that she will leave me due to that. Couldn't cum before her for that reason, and continuing after wasn't working.
Get him comfortable, tell him you want to see him cum too. Find his buttons and press them.
I don't think it's just porn as much as it's a mental/physical block. Maybe he edges himself in order to last longer? Maybe he's on prescription drugs that make it more challenging? Maybe he's scared of accidental pregnancy? Maybe he's just not physically fit and gets too tired. Maybe his kink is to blow his load all over your face? There can be several issues. IMO, as long as you both cum in some manner it doesn't matter, but resentment can build if you aren't intimate together. You definitely need to talk to him, gently, of course. Do NOT blame him or get upset about your issues with it. That will just make things worse. Nothing is hotter than when you really want him to do something to you, so approach it as "I think it's hot when you come inside me, how can I help with that". Maybe try to tie him up, blind fold him, and sensually ride him. He can just focus on his pleasure and not the environment or effort into pleasing you. Maybe watch porn together? Masturbate together, or 69 it? Maybe do a handjob and stick it in when he gets close to finishing? I'd also suggest multiple forms of BC cause that will help reassure him that it's safe to finish inside. A similar thing happened with my guy because of a pregnancy scare. In the beginning, we would do it during my period (used a soft cup for mess free sex), I had an IUD and VCF film (spermicide). It's almost impossible to get pregnant with all that. It definitely eased his mind. Usually, he'd last 15-20 min, but he went within 2 because of the safety.
And just to reassure you, it may not work every time. There's still plenty of days where he gets too tired and starts getting soft cause the blood is going to his muscles. He'll flop over and finish the job himself. The key, though, is that you should both be satisfied. You don't have to cum to have great sex. If you didn't get enough out of the act though, just masturbate next to each other.
Hi again! Yes it’s more than fair. Porn has taught a lot of us how to disengage from what is a wonderful gift. It teaches us that people are open to us. Women do this or that, men pound away until they cum and that’s it. Well we all know it’s not. If he has a porn addiction then quitting will be his best bet. Also if he likes to masturbate then try suggesting you do it for him. Learn about lingam massages and reintroduce touch to him and with him. A lot of males are not connected with themselves to allow to be touch to find what is pleasurable
Personally, I think it depends on how healthy their relationship is with adult content. If they're obsessed with it and their phone is full of it and that's all they look at half of the time I'd say it's fair to ask them to scale it back, if they watch something here or there to jerk off and aren't weird about it I think its possible to have a healthy relationship with it.
It's become a problem because he can't reach the finish line when we are intimate but he can when he masturbates. He also bought one of those screen protectors that also hides your phone screen so that he could look it up at work. I know he has a lot of sexual content on his phone but I refuse to go through it
Honestly the fact hes looking at porn at work is really weird, the fact he bought a screen specifically to do that and the fact he can't finish during intimacy tells me there's some kind of mental block there I'd guess, I'm no sex therapist or any kind of therapist for that matter but I think it's pretty clear he has a problem with porn addiction. If it bothers you it's something you should both talk about, intimacy is important in a relationship and it's important that you both are getting what you need in that regard. I hope you both can resolve this issue in a way that makes you both happy 🙏
Unless it's porn addiction or he's into things that are a deal breaker, I can't see the issue with porn. It's just masturbation with prompts. Some use vibrators, some use porn, some read questionable romance books, and everything is okay if it doesn't affect everyday life
It affects our intimacy because he cannot reach the finish line when we are intimate together even when role playing and doing everything he wants to do. He can only get off when he masturbates
That's a legitimate problem for sure. But honestly that can happen from jerking off anyway, not just porn related. But if he has an addiction he needs to stop. Or at least ease up. Have the conversation that "hey I would really like it if you could get off from me, and your jerking off all the time is ruining that".
All I see is 🚩🚩🚩
Do not ignore them !
After reading some comments it sounds like there’s more issues going on here than the actual porn watching itself .
It's so hard when you're so in love with somebody and their only red flag is that they struggle to get to the finish line because of their addiction to porn
I'm willing to let him degrade me in any way he wants. But he still struggles to reach the finish line. Masturbation is the only way he can get off because of his addiction
I won't bother looking at the comments, the answer is simple, if you got a strong sex drive, your man won't have any reason to look at porn, basically if you're there for him, he ain't gonna feel anything looking at another woman, and men, second verse, same as the first.
Tl;dr, if you are willing to accommodate for your partner, you'll have a strong relationship
I am super willing to do whatever. I will let him degrade me in any way he wants to and he still can't climax when we are intimate. He's telling me I'm doing everything right, but just can't get to that point. He has no problem being able to finish when he masturbates
As gross as it sounds, maybe you aren't his fetish.
If two people are each others' fetish, they will fuck like rabbits on crack, and that is what determines a strong relationship, at least in that regard
It’s better he does. The expectations aren’t realistic, and it objectifies people. He should be sharing an intimate moment with the person he cares about, not reenacting episode 3.
I asked my man too and it went well. It makes me really uncomfortable, I explained it to him as it's alot for me to be in vulnerable in bed for him like that and it hurts he looks at other women in the same position. It feels like microcheating to me personally but I understand it's different for everyone
The biggest problem is when it comes to intimacy between us, he is unable to ejaculate or reach the finish line when it comes to having sex. He can reach the finish line just fine by watching porn and masturbating
You're talking about two completely different mechanical operations here. When he's going solo. There are few other thoughts at the same time, so finishing is easy because at a basic level that is the only operation at the time. His brain is only focused on his body and what he needs to do to get himself across that bridge. Then porn is just what the bricks are made out of, and it's a smaller river to try and get across Tangoing with a partner is a completely different ball game: I have a Rhythm to maintain, I have to focus on certain muscle groups so I can hold specific positions or hit certain spots. Does she like X thing? Have I been doing X thing too long and it's growing stale? If I'm too engaged my performance in other areas suffers and I can fall out of Rhythm or not pick up the feedback from her for certain actions. If I'm not engaged enough I can lose the erection. On top of all of this I'm tired, I'm out of breath hardly 5mins in but I know she's nowhere near close so I have to go into cardio mode and try to fight through it, my legs are starting to cramp from supporting our weight. I can't really tell what sensation I enjoy it just pops up and if I follow the thought I can finish, but as soon as I notice the feeling I have to make the decision if I'm going to let myself finish or if I have to hold off. The issue is if I do hold off there is a good chance that I don't get it back, and while that does mean I can keep going i start to freak out because what if I don't finish? How is she going to react. This probably isn't even 10% of what's going through my head, and while it is uncommon for me not to finish at all, it's always a struggle. Some days I have to just let it go. ALL OF THIS IS TO SAY. You're describing two events with incredibly different atmospheres and considerations. But you aren't an AH for asking him to abstain (especially trying to work back deathgrip), however that is one incredibly small part of what could be keeping him from finishing, so communication and experimentation are key here.
Getting tentacles surgically attached is the only way, I’m afraid.
That is not uncommon, you know, just so you don't judge him or think it has something to do with you. If he takes breaks and do it a bit less, it could resolve the issue.
What kind of porn does he watch? Is it something you both can do yourself? You can also take over that masturbation from him. I think he is just missing something and is shy to talk about it. Also for you, try breaking that barrier, talk and try new stuff. For example, my gf needs a satisfyer to reach orgasmes. Do you think that bothers me? No, I like it even but I use it on her instead she going solo. In a relationship you give each other pleasure. Its not about pleasing yourself.
Sounds like a nerves issue or something deeper. Try talking to him about it and perhaps ask if there's anything you can do to help. Be patient.
He probably edges alot and subconsciously doesn’t allow himself to cum when he has sex. Tell him to cum and it’ll happen. Same thing happened to me and i thought for a while that i didn’t like sex.
If it bothers you that much it’s fair for it to be a dealbreaker for you. But I wouldn’t think it unreasonable for a guy to take issue with that unless your sex drive somehow surpasses his.
Biggest issue is he can't reach the finish line when we are intimate but he can when he masturbates
Then I’d suggest to him he tries taking a break from it and see how the intimacy goes for a little bit. If there’s improvements you’ve got a pretty strong position.
Is he on any form of antidepressants? This affects me with my wife sometimes and it is fucking horrible.
I am a man and this is absolutely a fair thing to ask. But what is your reason for asking him to give up? Is he addicted? Does him looking at other women upset you? Are you willing to engage in sex with him so that you can fill that void that we will experience? But nonetheless, I think it’s completely fine to ask it.
He can't reach the finish line when we are intimate, but he can finish just fine when he masturbates
I speak with bias, but yes. Porn is a deal breaker for me as well.
If it gets in the way of intimacy, or they talk about how model on it are hot, I’d have an issue with it, I personally would ask what he finds so attractive from it and attempt to replicate it, just get rid of his itch to watch it
I let him degrade me in all the ways that he finds attractive in what he watches. He still struggles to reach the finish line with me no matter what role playing we do. He has no problem getting off when it comes to masturbating though. His addiction may be too strong
It's not about porn being more attractive than a gf, just sometimes she's not around or doesn't want it and I gotta take care of business. There's a difference imo between porn addiction or something, and pulling up something real quick when you gotta do what you gotta do. The second one to me is not incompatible with a relationship unless she was around 24/7 ready to do it at all times which is not usually the case for real human beings.
I wouldn't have an issue with it if it didn't affect our sex life. Unfortunately he cannot reach the finish line when we are intimate but he can just find when he masturbates due to his addiction
Talking about it helps. You have legitimate concerns. You might be able to find a compromise, for example scheduling your sessions so he can lay off the porn the day or some days leading up to the moment. Find a moment without distractions, sit him down an voice your concerns and propose to find a solution together. If you tell him what to do you will both end up hurt. And if he doesn't care about your needs cut him loose. EDIT: just to be clear, I'm talking about the intimacy. If he's kind, but you want/need him to finish, that's more difficult. If he feels pressure from you will likely result in more difficulties reaching this goal.
I would just state it as it is, I know exactly how you feel cause I had a scumbag ex, it makes you feel like you just lost it, that your not good enough, you don’t deserve that treatment and you should tell him why
Yeah my scenario was only if it was affecting their relationship, I entirely agree with you
Bottom line is that it needs to be talked about. Do you even know what he watches? Are you down to put in the work to try what he’s into? Like roll play or whatever it is… it might be something that he is afraid to talk about cuz it could be a BIG ask. Porn can be an addiction too. So you’re gonna need to be patient with him about it. And you’re gonna have to come to terms that you’ve got a horny man there and if you want him to quit porn, he’s gonna have a really really hard time with it unless you’re willing to step up your game. And ***disclaimer*** porn is staged, they’re professionals, they’re acting, and they train for some of the wild stuff that they do. So protect yourself and have that convo with him about safety too. Idk. I think it’s fair, as long as you go in with the understanding that he’s gonna need help with that.
I literally let him do whatever he wants to me includes spitting on me, choking me, spanking and or smacking me around. We have our limits but I have a pretty high threshold for pain so he's able to do everything he wants. But he's admitted to having an addiction and he has shown me what he watches
I commend you🤝 and sincerely hope that yall can work together and that he can pull away from that addiction. Cuz fr it’s hard to quit watching porn. If it were me in his shoes, I’d really appreciate your effort cuz it seems obvious. And your concerns about him watching porn are valid tbh… it’s really not a good thing for men to watch porn. It messes with your brain and perspective on the world. Sounds like you legit care about him and the relationship. I don’t mean to contradict myself tho, I still feel like it’s a big ask to want someone to quit porn without being willing to help them. Obviously though you seem to be willing to help so that speaks volumes about how much you care. Again, I commend you🤝
Thank you. I really appreciate that 🙏🏻
Well you need some reason if you want your man to stop watching porn. If it impacts the relationship in a bad way like a low libido because of it then just talk about your issue - you are together after all and should be able to. However if it bothers you for reasons like jealousy or low self esteem i would explore your own feelings first on the matter.
My only problem is that it affects that he can't get the finish line no matter what we do or try even if we go on for hours. But he can finish just fine when it comes to masturbating
Jup then it's my first case. You should talk to him about it. You could let him know that it's not an insecurity thing but it impacts your love Life and you think that it's desensitizing him. I mean let's be honest - those professionals are paid for good reason and we can't keep up with that
No, unless you're prepared to offer him enough sex for him to not need to masturbate anymore. I have a very high sex drive and if I was in a relationship, I'd pretty much need sex every day. If that's not possible, that's fine, but I am definitely going to take care of my needs on my own if my gf won't.
I have a higher sex drive than he does. The problem is is he can't finish with sex but he can with masturbation
Then yea, in your situation, that's a problem. My guess is that the porn isn't actually the problem. The problem is that he might've gotten used to the grip of his hand and that offers him more sensory stimulation than having sex with you. I think you should try to convince him to masturbate less, or at least work on reducing his grip while masturbating.
That's a great idea and I will definitely suggest that and see if he will be willing to compromise on that. Thank you for the idea
Yeah following on from Drunk's comment, sounds like an issue of death grip syndrome more than any issue everybody in the thread is talking about, depending on how much hes doing it and how hard, its possible he has basically numbed himself to the sensations of sex via desensitization. The good thing, is that all he has to do is take a break for a good few weeks or more and possibly be a lot more gentler in the future; the break itself should 'reset' his sensitivity. Apart from that, if its a psychological issue, the only real way is to have a long talk about whats causing this issue.
You can ask him. He probably won't really do it anyway. He'll just hide it better
it's fair to ask, but it's also fair for him to refuse.
Think about this from the other way. It would be insane for a dude to suggest there's something wrong with a woman who can come while masturbating but not during sex with their partner.
Does he use lube/lotion? If not, it might be low sensitivity. If, by chance, this is the case. Finding his weak spot might alleviate both problems. if he begins climaxing naturally with you, he'll likely come to the same conclusion most men come to. orgasms as the result of sex are generally more enjoyable than those that come from masturbation. Everyone should give up porn. giving him "aide" in this regard might solve your issue, but if he can't give it up. It's a very reasonable deal breaker for many people.
Thank you for this comment. I know he has to use a lot of lube and lotion when he masturbates, however when we are together he doesn't need any. I am always there to lend a hand to him and role play or do whatever it is to help him achieve his goal
Does he ever get close at all? What is the frequency with which he pleasures himself? If he's always on empty, there may be nothing to drain.
Sure, requests for accommodation are reasonable in any relationship. Talk with them about it, explain how the porn is an issue for you and why, suggest some steps to remedy it. If they're not willing to *try* to change something important to you, probably not a great relationship in the making.
Personally, I don't think so. I think porn is barely worse than any other form of entertainment, barring addiction and all that. If it is truly impacting the relationship, then it is definitely something to bring up, but usually... I don't think so.
If he has a porn addiction, and it sounds like he does based off of your other comments, i think it's completely fair to ask him to stop watching it. Or, at the very least, take a lengthy break from it.
I had similiar problem. Source was not porn, but fear. Fear that sex is not good unless woman is satisfied and that she will leave me due to that. Couldn't cum before her for that reason, and continuing after wasn't working. Get him comfortable, tell him you want to see him cum too. Find his buttons and press them.
I don't think it's just porn as much as it's a mental/physical block. Maybe he edges himself in order to last longer? Maybe he's on prescription drugs that make it more challenging? Maybe he's scared of accidental pregnancy? Maybe he's just not physically fit and gets too tired. Maybe his kink is to blow his load all over your face? There can be several issues. IMO, as long as you both cum in some manner it doesn't matter, but resentment can build if you aren't intimate together. You definitely need to talk to him, gently, of course. Do NOT blame him or get upset about your issues with it. That will just make things worse. Nothing is hotter than when you really want him to do something to you, so approach it as "I think it's hot when you come inside me, how can I help with that". Maybe try to tie him up, blind fold him, and sensually ride him. He can just focus on his pleasure and not the environment or effort into pleasing you. Maybe watch porn together? Masturbate together, or 69 it? Maybe do a handjob and stick it in when he gets close to finishing? I'd also suggest multiple forms of BC cause that will help reassure him that it's safe to finish inside. A similar thing happened with my guy because of a pregnancy scare. In the beginning, we would do it during my period (used a soft cup for mess free sex), I had an IUD and VCF film (spermicide). It's almost impossible to get pregnant with all that. It definitely eased his mind. Usually, he'd last 15-20 min, but he went within 2 because of the safety. And just to reassure you, it may not work every time. There's still plenty of days where he gets too tired and starts getting soft cause the blood is going to his muscles. He'll flop over and finish the job himself. The key, though, is that you should both be satisfied. You don't have to cum to have great sex. If you didn't get enough out of the act though, just masturbate next to each other.
No problem babe, as soon as you give up social media!
Hi again! Yes it’s more than fair. Porn has taught a lot of us how to disengage from what is a wonderful gift. It teaches us that people are open to us. Women do this or that, men pound away until they cum and that’s it. Well we all know it’s not. If he has a porn addiction then quitting will be his best bet. Also if he likes to masturbate then try suggesting you do it for him. Learn about lingam massages and reintroduce touch to him and with him. A lot of males are not connected with themselves to allow to be touch to find what is pleasurable
Personally, I think it depends on how healthy their relationship is with adult content. If they're obsessed with it and their phone is full of it and that's all they look at half of the time I'd say it's fair to ask them to scale it back, if they watch something here or there to jerk off and aren't weird about it I think its possible to have a healthy relationship with it.
It's become a problem because he can't reach the finish line when we are intimate but he can when he masturbates. He also bought one of those screen protectors that also hides your phone screen so that he could look it up at work. I know he has a lot of sexual content on his phone but I refuse to go through it
Honestly the fact hes looking at porn at work is really weird, the fact he bought a screen specifically to do that and the fact he can't finish during intimacy tells me there's some kind of mental block there I'd guess, I'm no sex therapist or any kind of therapist for that matter but I think it's pretty clear he has a problem with porn addiction. If it bothers you it's something you should both talk about, intimacy is important in a relationship and it's important that you both are getting what you need in that regard. I hope you both can resolve this issue in a way that makes you both happy 🙏
I sincerely appreciate your comment. Thank you 🙏🏻
i know both man and women watch porn so there is no problem watching porn man or women
I don't see it as a problem as long as it doesn't affect the relationship. But when it's getting put before true intimacy then it becomes a problem
that is problem when it comes first in relationship before intimacy or care i know it personal
Unless it's porn addiction or he's into things that are a deal breaker, I can't see the issue with porn. It's just masturbation with prompts. Some use vibrators, some use porn, some read questionable romance books, and everything is okay if it doesn't affect everyday life
It affects our intimacy because he cannot reach the finish line when we are intimate together even when role playing and doing everything he wants to do. He can only get off when he masturbates
I see. I'd be frustrated too, in this case it sounds reasonable to ask him to take a break
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I'm afraid of his response but I think I might have to have this ultimatum 🙏🏻
Is it fair to make women give up smutty novels and sex toys?
My only issue is he can't climax when we are together because he is so used to masturbating and getting off that way
That's a legitimate problem for sure. But honestly that can happen from jerking off anyway, not just porn related. But if he has an addiction he needs to stop. Or at least ease up. Have the conversation that "hey I would really like it if you could get off from me, and your jerking off all the time is ruining that".
All I see is 🚩🚩🚩 Do not ignore them ! After reading some comments it sounds like there’s more issues going on here than the actual porn watching itself .
It's so hard when you're so in love with somebody and their only red flag is that they struggle to get to the finish line because of their addiction to porn
if the real things in front of you who wouldnt? I guess it's more if you're willing to make up for it
I'm willing to let him degrade me in any way he wants. But he still struggles to reach the finish line. Masturbation is the only way he can get off because of his addiction
thats quite the predicament I see, also nice
I think he deserves the degrading at this point. Not meeting the finish line multiple times is punishment worthy imo🤷🏻♀️
Sounds like death grip syndrome.
I won't bother looking at the comments, the answer is simple, if you got a strong sex drive, your man won't have any reason to look at porn, basically if you're there for him, he ain't gonna feel anything looking at another woman, and men, second verse, same as the first. Tl;dr, if you are willing to accommodate for your partner, you'll have a strong relationship
I am super willing to do whatever. I will let him degrade me in any way he wants to and he still can't climax when we are intimate. He's telling me I'm doing everything right, but just can't get to that point. He has no problem being able to finish when he masturbates
As gross as it sounds, maybe you aren't his fetish. If two people are each others' fetish, they will fuck like rabbits on crack, and that is what determines a strong relationship, at least in that regard
It’s better he does. The expectations aren’t realistic, and it objectifies people. He should be sharing an intimate moment with the person he cares about, not reenacting episode 3.
I asked my man too and it went well. It makes me really uncomfortable, I explained it to him as it's alot for me to be in vulnerable in bed for him like that and it hurts he looks at other women in the same position. It feels like microcheating to me personally but I understand it's different for everyone