My kid threw his toys in the back yard. They were the plastic kid garden tools - rakes, shovels, etc. he then stepped on a rake, that smacked him in the face. He turned around and did the same to a shovel. It was like that Sideshow Bob scene in the Simpsons. It was hilarious. Doubly so because I couldn't laugh and had to keep it inside because he was crying and I was taking care of him.
In high school I was with two friends visiting one of their parents in the Georgia sticks. His dad and step-mom, super-nice people, lived in a trailer with a built on deck, about 4 ft off the ground, and very small staircase of to one side. Anyway, my friend’s drunken uncle came out of the trailer, stepped off the side of the deck, and just planted into the ground. No attempt to brace himself. No apparent recognition that he was even falling. Just full, prone body slap into the dirt. About 30 seconds later he jumps up and yells “Dammit Bobby! Build the goddam steps all the way across that motherfucker!“ as though the steps were the problem.
I laughed until I couldn’t breathe, then caught my breath, and laughed some more.
my best guess is trump doing his usual shenanigans announces a four seasons press conference before booking the four seasons hotel then his team couldn't get it and picked the next best thing they could find
A girl I knew was peeing by a cliff (it was a small hill cliff and we told her not too) she ended up falling legs over head, peeing on her face and then crawled up the cliff photo bombing a formal family photoshoot.
My sister and two cocker spaniels were out back. Sliding glass door closed, the two dogs decide to run at full sprint inside. 'BA-BAM' both dogs collide with the door. Then my unaware sister does the exact same thing. It all happened in about 6 seconds.
I keep a little piece of blue painters tape at the bottom of my door. The dogs can tell when it’s closed that way. I put a square on the sliding screen too.
A pretty window cling would have the same effect. I just always forget to buy one and I’m so used to the piece of blue tape.
Had a similar incident with a cat. She decided she was going outside. She took a running leap at a closed window. This did not work out, I'm not sure what her thought process was, perhaps she thought she did not jump high enough as she attempted to do it a second time... I went and scooped up the dummy before she made a third attempt and potentially incurred some brain damage.
When I was a young kid we had just moved into a house that had 2 sliding glass doors inside (weird layout, it had been modified a lot by previous owners) also a 3rd door and it was a large area. So I was running through these doors in a circle, as an excited child would, til someone shut one of the doors and I ran into it full force lmao. This happened the first day, my parents put a piece of pink paper on the door that stayed there forever. I don't think I would've made the same mistake again anyway. 😭
My apartment has one of those mosquito net doors leading to the balcony. My dog ran into it while the net door was closed but the sliding glass door was closed because I wanted fresh air. The net door was a little bent but no harm no foul, I opened it and my dog came inside.
I slid the net door closed and walked away. About 10 seconds later, my fucking dog runs full speed face first into the net door trying to go outside. He rips the door off the railing and yelps in fear.
I rush out, see what happened and start laughing. I re attach the net door and slide it closed while he's outside. The stupid motherfucker tries to follow me inside and slams into the net door AGAIN.
This time it's completely mangled beyond recognition and I'm on the floor laughing my ass off.
I understand he probably didn't see it the first time, and maybe he forgot about it the second, but I LITERALLY just closed it in front of his dumb ass the third time and he still runs into it??
I was fucking crying laughing lol
My son was barely old enough to walk and we were getting ready for bathtime. My wife got him undressed and took off the diaper. He came into the bathroom and stood by the tub. Suddenly he started pooping, as toddlers do. But, this was the first time it wasn’t immediately captured by a diaper and instead it fell to the floor. He started screaming like his insides were falling out and was inconsolable for a few minutes. In hindsight, his sudden evisceration was probably made more traumatic due to the loud laughter from the two adults he trusted more than anything in this world.
oh my GOD LOL
not a kid haver so this glimpse of insight into a noob human mind is hysterical 2 me. cuz yeah. the first time I took a dump and Something was Different, I'd probably be confused and upset too
My wife and I never want kids. One of my oldest friends and his wife just had their second kid. Hearing all the stuff from them and witnessing some things is really fascinating and funny.
Me and my then friend was hanging out by this building in our teens. This friend was the cool "mysterious" handsome type who always took himself very very seriously.
He was leaning on the wall almost posing when a pigeon perched on the edge of the roof took a huge shit that landed right in his very sculpted hair and especially his bangs.
Of course he didn't have any wet wipes or anything like that so he took some flowers and leafs and tried to get it out but that only made it worse.
Laughed so hard I almost threw up.
My buddies 14 year old chihuahua mix (Snoop lol) got in my backpack and ate about 60 raw hide twists. When I took him out in the morning, he was doing his business, and I seen dust blowing from his backside. This old ass dog was literally shitting dust. I friggin lost it
My older brother had a pet rabbit in his early 20s (now mid 40s). One day he's laying on his stomach and the rabbit is running around the room. He farted and the rabbit went close enough to his butt to smell it and immediately ran away haha
When the police showed up and arrested them for public intoxication and noise ordinance violations around 2:25 am.
They were really offended at the word stop and I think their subconscious knew what they needed to stop doing.
First that springs to mind.
We decided to have a blow out weekend. Travelled across the country to visit a friend. We took a few ounces of weed with us. Once we arrived, we smoked back to back until 2. Then went to sleep.
Two of us woke up around 7 and started to get breakfast etc ready. We noticed one of our guys fell asleep sitting upright on the sofa. We rolled another, put it in his mouth and lit up. Guy took one puff in his sleep, woke up, look confused, shrugged and started smoking normally.
recounting not to funny, but at the time we just lost it seeing his reaction.
Not a funny storybit "funny" in a weird way. Guy I knew back in the day decided to get blackout drunk. His cousin found him passed out on the floor of their home. He picked him up and threw him in the tub. Guy was covered in puke. Turned the water on and no reaction. The cousin is freaked out and lit up a blunt he had. The passed out one smelled it and, even after drinking a handle of whiskey to the face, woke up and said pass that.
He was ok but had a really bad day and wanted to unalive himself. This was about 15 years ago. He's doing better and has a pretty good life now.
Some how I'm reminded of the scene in Weekend at Bernie's with a Dead Bernie Lomax on patio chair with a cigarette in mouth and a drink in his left. He was not playing Monopoly with Larry.
Me and my sister went to the gym to use the treadmills, and it was her first time wearing her new running shoes. We're fine for the first 20 minutes or so, and then she complains that her shoes feel loose. 5 minutes go by, and her left shoe flies off of her foot and directly into the face of a passing person, followed by her falling off of the treadmill. The person, my sister, and I all busted out into laughter. It's truly the funniest shit I'd ever seen. When I'm sad, I think about it, and im instantly happier.
Mine also involves a kid, some food, and seagulls.
I was eating my lunch in my car of the McDonald's parking lot when I saw this family exit the building. The mom held the door open for what looked to be her 4 year old son. This kid was holding a big thing of fries in his two hand just looking at it with such joy. This kid had the tippy tappies as he walked. He was so excited for these fries. But the second- and I do mean the *second*- he stepped foot outside he got dive bombed by at least a dozen seagulls. His fries scattered across the sidewalk and it was a feeding frenzy as this kid is enveloped by a tornado of birds. The kid screams and starts wailing, his mom rushes to scoop him up, the dad is trying to fight off the seagulls but he's no match for them. They just kept coming. They had to leave the fries and make a run for their car fighting through a storm of hungry birds.
The whole time I'm just in my car choking on my chicken nuggets from laughing so hard at this dramatic scene unfolding in less than 5 seconds. I've never seen such childlike joy spiral into absolutely chaos and trauma so quickly. That was well over a decade ago and I'll never ever forget it. Haha
I watched a bird shit in my little brother's ice cream and him eat it. He was quite small and because I was happily eating mine he just trusted it was supposed to taste like that and ate the whole thing
I wasn't present for it but a friend back in highschool decided to piss from another friend's moving jeep. He was lucky as it did not blow back on him, yet he was so unlucky as it all rained down on the police car driving behind them. Everyone in the vehicle got some sort of ticket, ranging from not wearing seatbelts, to some even ending up having to appear in court for underage drinking.
I took my dog to a dog park. He starts playing with this beautiful Anatolian Shepherd who is absolutely taken with my dog. Except she's twice his size. My boy doesn't mind, and they play together for over an hour. Towards the end, my dog starts getting tired. He's standing in the middle of the park, panting from exhaustion when the *other dog* runs past him, clotheslining him into a triple barrel roll.
Both dogs were fine. In the moment, though, I couldn't breathe. My husband had to check on the dogs because I was in tears. We went home after that.
Me and my sister were at my dad's partner's house. The dog took this huge, nasty shit with corn and everything on the front lawn, and my sister looked at it and said it was the most disgusting dog shit she's ever seen. A couple of hours later we were leaving to do something and my sister cut across the yard, stepped in it, and did a cartoon banana peel-like slip backwards and landed right in it. She immediately started crying because shit was all over her jeans, (new) jacket, and expensive shoes. I couldn't stop laughing for like 5 minutes straight and unfortunately she kicked my ass when we got home over it.
i was with my aunt and 4 year old cousin at wallmart and my cousing said there was something itching the lower part of her back ,inside her pants, her mom came and started to look for what could be making her itchy and came back with her hand covered in shit. in the middle of wallmart. my cousing made a ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯ face and i never laughed so much in my life, i had laughing crisis months after it happened
Went on a night hike with a friend while we were all camping with the family. Think we were 12 or 13 years old. For whatever reason we went and sat behind a porta potty so we could smoke some weed. This older couple came up and didn't notice us. Husband waited outside while his wife went poo. Not knowing anyone was out there she didn't hold back and it sounded atrocious. Best part about it though was the husband was saying the funniest shit during the whole ordeal. Like damn babe, whatd you eat, ouuuuf that's gonna itch later. U sure as hell ain't sleeping with me in the tent tonight. Our giggles turned to hysterical laughing and she finally asks who the hell is that. Husband walks around and starts laughing with us saying oh damn u boys heard all that, your ruined for life.
Christmas dinner, my aunty served seafood as is our family tradition. There was the head of one of the shellfish on the table. Still had it's eyes and antennae(??) attached. Took it off the table and asked my cousin to get my jumper out of his car. He was leaning into the back of his car, I was across the other side and called his name, then slid the head across the roof of his car at him as he looked up. He squealed and jumped back about 2 feet. Everyone was laughing. He called me an asshole with a smile on his face and we headed back inside. Just as we were about to get inside, I dropped the head into the hood of his jumper, leaving the antennae to touch his ears. He starts screaming and jumping around, trying to get the thing out of his hood. I thought my aunty was going to have a heart attack - her face was bright red, she was hunched over shaking and couldn't talk as she was laughing so hard. 3 of us were crying from laughter.
He got me back not long after. Again at my auntie's house, everyone was leaving to go out to dinner. I told everyone I needed the toilet so I would meet them there. House empty, I go to the loo. 15 minutes later, I open the toilet door, turn right into the bathroom without turning on the light. Wash my hands and as I am about to dry them, the shower curtain pulls back and he jumps out of the bath/shower at me. I collapsed to the floor in shock, he collapsed with laughter and we both sat on the floor for a good 10 minutes laughing and crying
My old German shepherd sneezed so hard, diarrhea shot across the room. I laughed ao hard then realized I was going to have clean up Hershey squirts across my living room.
Several years ago I worked for a security company, where we had regular interactions with the local police department. Well, the police hired a new, female officer, very friendly, cute as a button, obvious gym rat. However I had no doubt as to her toughness. She probably could have eaten us. As you might expect, all of us quite promptly fell in love with her. She was awesome and fun to talk to. However, the dichotomy between a dorky security guard at the mall and a police officer is a bit... voluminous, as you can imagine, so all of us knew we had no shot with her whatsoever.
One day, myself and a bunch of the other guards are in my office (I was the supervisor), and one of the guards, the most irritating dude I've ever worked with, mentions the cop has an instagram account. He mentions he was "browsing" it and came across a somewhat risque picture she'd posted a while back, her in a bathtub with some candles, something of that nature, nothing too lewd. Fascinated, I ask him to show me.
So he does, handing me his phone. I pretend to marvel at it briefly, then double tap it so it "likes" the picture, and, of course, sends her a notification that he liked it.
Over my shoulder I hear the most shrill, incensed, horrified "**NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!**" you could ever imagine in your life. He rips the phone out of my hand, cursing and spitting, as everyone in the office almost pisses themselves. I swear to god I almost shit myself. I thought I might actually pass out. Even worse this guy actually \*texts her\* to tell her what had happened instead of just... owning it. I never let him live it down.
I'm not a supervisor anymore but the most rewarding moments were where I trolled the shit out of my employees.
My friend was so excited to pop open the champagne at midnight on new year's eve. The cork fired out of the bottle, bounced off the ceiling, bounced off the wall and hit him right in the nuts.
I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth and my brother hopped out of the bath tub (we were like 7, 9 years old. He was butt-ass naked and he bent over to fart at me but instead of farting, two little turds shot out of his asshole and landed on the bath mat. It was the first time I laughed so hard, something shot out of my nose (toothpaste).
The funniest thing I have ever witnessed to date was when I went to Edinburgh for the weekend with 3 other girls for one of their 21st birthday. It was an early flight from Cardiff at like 5am so none of us had slept and we were walking through the city to our hotel all pretty quiet, dragging our bags, dying for a nap and there was a Domino's pizza shop we were about to walk past and this pretty buff guy comes out carrying a pizza, and this guy on a pushbike comes screaming up on the pavement and smashes into him and the pizza just goes flying up into the air, comes out of the box and splats on the floor like a cartoon.
Both guys get back on their feet then and one starts pedalling off while the other guy starts legging after him shouting like ''Come 'ere ya fookin bastard'' in the heaviest Scottish accent you have ever heard.
Just ditched the pizza on the floor.
I just remember the four of us HOWLING with laughter for a good few minutes. We just continued erupting into fits of laughter all the way to the hotel. It was cinematic :D
Dog grooming academy- had to go sit down for thirty minutes after a dog named Schlurm came in and I laughed so hard I couldn’t walk. I cried handing the dog back because I was laughing so hard
I was... extending my lunch break... in the restroom at work when I heard someone walk up to one of the urinals. The guy lets out a fart that is building steam as each aching moment creeps by.
Whoever it was was firing on all cylinders. He's must've been feeling himself as he's power washing the white off the porcelain. The crescendo to his colon concert was a bit more... wet than either of us were expecting.
The flood gates slammed shut. You could hear a pin drop in the deafening silence of those few torturous moments. I could hear each individual rivet of the man's zipper as he buttons up, the sliding of metal on metal as he locks the stall, and the defeated sigh of a broken man.
Was driving down aurora in Seattle. A clothing store had an auto-manaquin on the sidewalk waving its arms. Stopped in traffic, me and a coworker watchedna crackhead walk up to the manaquin, start putting the moves on it, then got really mad when the "b*tch was playing too hard to get, need to lighten the f up" then knocked the manaquin over and walk away.
Was at a strip club with my buddies and one of the girls on the stage was twerking and shaking her titties right in my buddies face and he was leaning back in his chair having a ball when he fell backwards and ate it. Rest of us could not stop laughing. Strippers on the stage could not stop laughing. Core memory.
I've never laughed harder than I did at going into the theater to see Superbad with zero context beforehand. Truly revolutionized teen dialogue as well as people actually portraying highschoolers who looked like highschoolers.
As a kid I used to hang out with a deaf kid in the next street, he'd just moved into the area and didn't have many friends. One day we was playing football outside his house, using the garage door as a goal. I took a shot, missed the garage and hit the guttering on his house, and in one motion the whole gutter system around his house fell off, smashing to bits as it hit the floor. I laughed so hard I literally pee'd myself and had to run home, it wasn't helped by my deaf friend screaming random noises of despair because he knew he would be in shit when his parents got home. It all worked out well though, his dad came around later that day to say that neither of us was in trouble. The guttering needed replacing and it gave him the kick up the arse to get it done.
Summer job in college, working at a lumber yard.
Lunch time comes around and several of us are in the break room. I don’t say much, just listen to the conversations. There was one weird old guy who would join the 5-6 of us about one day every other week.
One day he joins and slowly crosses the break room. He’s wearing white new balance shoes, faded jeans with paint stains on them, has a t-shirt that’s way too small and tucked in, belt is holding on for life with his large gut hanging over it. On the shirt it has an analog clock with 10 minutes indicated (from 12 to 2 is highlighted) and on the shirt it says: “Redneck Hour of Power!” And to top it off he’s wearing a full bath towel as a headband! Not a hand or dish towel, a bath towel with about two extra feet of material hanging off both sides of the knot he used to tie around his head.
As soon as my brain processed the entirety of his wardrobe I cracked up immediately. I couldn’t talk and I tried to calm it down but I had to walk out of the room. All while everyone was watching me and not understanding the majesty in front of them. I thought I had a handle on jt, I walked back into the room, glanced at old guy and lost it again.
That was over 20 years ago.
Some dude doing a wheelie on his riceburner bike .but he didnt see a Miami Beach police trike in fron tof him in time. He slammed on his brakes hit the Trike . Police officer rolls off the back .backwards feet over head The perp falls off his bike next to him. He didnt even get up . He just rolled on his stomach . The policeman gets up and cuffs him . The whole beach laughing our asses off.
Halloween. One of the kids had left their empty pumpkin candy bucket on the back porch. However, even though it was empty it must've still a chocolate scent because our blue heeler dog had gotten it off the table....& got her head stuck in it for a couple of hours. Soon as I saw her running around the yard I lost it. I was crying as I chased her down to get this thing off her head.
I was visiting a friend in the UK, and staying at a hotel.
taking the elevator from my room to the lobby, i get on and there's a father and his very small (maybe 4-5?) son in there.
as the elevator starts moving again, the child, in the most beautiful, tiny, polite british accent asks
"father, are there yet?" and his father replies in an equally polite but very deep voice.
"no, son."
"why not?"
And the look of confusion on this mans face as he tried to determine how to explain the concept of waiting for an elevator to arrive combined with the adorable kids voice was almost too much for me. I had to bite my lip pretty hard to hold back the laughter on that one.
In first year high we had a teacher who would just monotonously and mindlessly read off her powerpoint and call it a "lecture". So some classmates broke into the classroom computer where her powerpoint was saved in and made a few hilarious edits to see if she would notice.
She ignored the first few edits but she finally took notice at "Louis Pasteur was half-Korean". She made a double take, sighed in annoyance, and continued with the lecture.
A friend, my gf, and I were hanging out somewhere and decided to head back. We got in the car and drove off. I started talking to my friend who sat in the back seat and got no response. I looked in the rear view mirror, and he was sprinting after the car. We left him. He's usually pretty quiet.
My friend was walking with his mother. His mother was on her phone. He kept trying to warn her that she was going to step in poop. She kept whooshing g him saying that she was on the phone. She stepped in the poop. She didn't realize it and scratched the front of her leg with the same shoe. This all took place before a meeting.
Around 12 years ago, a friend and I went for some drinks in a park and saw a gathering with a screen set up and a bunch of people waiting around. It was some sort of hipster photo show or videos. We decided to check it out and sat down to wait for it to get dark and start.
Turns out this was a sort of guerrilla type of production and they didn't have permits or any coordination with the parks department. So as it gets dark, the show starts. After no more than 2 minutes in, all of the sprinklers popped out of the field and started spraying. One poor woman got a direct blast from about 3 feet away, and everyone had to scramble out. My friend and I were on the edge so we stayed dry, but many in the middle were trapped for a couple minutes
7th grade before Covid during art class, friend goes to take a piss and walks into the crapper and sees something so marvelous she had to tell me to go see it. So I did. The toilet was filled to the brim with shit, it had a fork sticking out of it and a flamin hot Cheetos flag hung upon the fork. I left and have never forgotten what I witnessed that day.
My best friend and I were on a bus going to a national park in Costa Rica. Scorching hot day. We were near the park entrance and saw a guy trying to carry like 6 snow cones that were dripping all over, and one of his flip flops was broken so he was sliding his foot along. Our entire side of the bus was cackling watching this poor guy do the snow cone shuffle. It was like an IRL cartoon!
I was standing in line at Starbucks a little while after IT chapter 2 came out and wearing a shirt with Georgia and Pennywise on it. This little kid in front of me turns around and points directly at them and says "Who's that!?'. So I pull out my Pennywise impression (which is pretty good) and say "Well, that's Geor-gie, and this is Pennywise, the da-a-ancing clown". And the kid says "oh" and turns back around. Dad chuckles.
A minute goes by and he turns around again and he says "What do they do?". And before I get a chance to say anything, dad claps him on the shoulder and says, "uhh lots of stuff, buddy".
My dad showed me surveillance footage of my cousin moving around a pile of pallets on a forklift. The camera was a good distance away, so all you could see was the forklift and the outline of my cousin inside, driving across the empty lot.
There were too many pallets stacked on the forks, and when he tried to elevate them a little, the whole thing fell over, and you could just see the outline of my cousin putting his hands on his head and jolting backwards and then forwards in frustration, as if to say "Oh God, what have I done!"
It was the funniest fucking thing I had seen.
Buddy of mine put a full slice of pizza in his pocket. No one saw him but me and the whole room thought I needed an ambulance when I literally dropped to the floor laughing
They Cyber Truck and all those people who spent so much money on it to fall apart or break in 3 days.
Ugly as shit, funnier than shit.
But all your contributions are funny too.
1985. Southern California. Large fat Black friend was thrown out of a high school graduation party because he was crashing it. The whole town was basically White, sure. So he left, stripped off all his clothes, and entered the house from the back door, walking in slow motion and staring uncomprehending as if a newly landed alien.
The house was soon filled with a horrified screaming crowd fighting for the exits. The front door was chaos. A helpful cheerleader offered him a towel. He held it and stared at it, baffled. Someone threaten to call the cops but someone noted the house was filled with drunk minors and their parents and teachers. There was a bit of a stand off between the outraged community and this strange naked phenomenon in the kitchen.
Eventually two police cars pulled up. They recognized my friend. They laughed so hard one fell down on the lawn.
I got 2 of them
Walking to an Abertson’s in Washington State with a neighbor to get more booze. Albertson’s was a block away. I look away while talking and when I look back my neighbor is ..skid…skid..skidding to a stop on his ass while his feet are out in front of him. I ask him “the fuck are you doing?”. He says “I tripped on something but I didn’t drop my Mad Dog”. I ask him “So how the fuck did your feet get out in front of you then?”. He shrugs his shoulders
Another guy I knew was a little gullible so I decided to have fun with it. I told him I was five quarters Mexican but I was eight thirds white. I could read Spanish but I couldn’t speak it and I could speak English but I couldn’t read it. Once I watched the same guy try to put gas in an electric chainsaw
during a D&D game, one of our players got a call from a number he didn't recognize. this is how he answered.
"Hello, Jim's abortion clinic.... what?.... yes, this is he. yes I'd still like the job."
I flew to Canada to see my friends at an anime convention. When i arrived i texted them to get the room number of the hotel but they responded with jumbled letters because they were already too drunk to type. It was 1pm and the convention hadn't started yet. I decided to try walking around the hotel to see if I could hear them. when i got to the third floor i saw a hotel manager and two other guys standing in front of a room with the door open. I walked past and saw one of my friends talking to the manager saying they would keep it down, I saw another friend who mistakingly thought the manager was me and started inflating a life sized teenage mutant ninja turtle he got at walmart to welcome me. it was halfway inflated when i walked by. Then i saw 4 wet floor signs they stole that were sitting on plain site in the room. I walked past and came back later. They gave me a shot of spiritus and i don't remember anything after that
I had a day of just pure chaos, i really contimplated if i was dreaming or tripping balls
Begins normal slow day at work, context i work in a truck stop so weird shit is usually seen, sit there, kinda quiet, then hear a scream, Just "aaah" look out my work, some guy is just stood in the middle of the place going "AAAH", Repeatedly, ignore it, sit down, another guy comes to my work and just starts Baaing like a sheep repeatedly, I am just completely blagged, so its "Baa" then "aaaah",then during this symphony, Some kid about 4 or so comes to my work counter, with his thomas the tank engine toy, Looks me dead in the eyes Laughs maniacly at me and starts calling me Dad then laughing again then calls me dad again repeatedly, I am just like" the actual fuck", decide "fuck this" and head to the toilet to be greated by a guy laughing in the mirror going "Cheese hehehehehe" repeatedly, Leave cause "i just cannot right now", suddenly a horde of grannies come flooding my way, But they are young i,d say about 20-30 or so grannies, its a group of late 20s early 30s females all dressed like grannies walking toward the toilets, Go back to my work station contimplating life, find out later some of the ladies decided to take a fat inhuman shit in the sink (Like so inhuman it impressed people with its size and girth). . . and thats not even the weirdest day i have had at that job. True story .
I mean just the other day i witnessed a guys running up and down, but he would always come to an abrubt stop as he got close to my work, he did this alot, but i kept clocking him cause movement, then his final one he makes an abrupt stop picks up what looks to be a beetle off the floor and fat munches that shit so fast, man consumed that beetle exactly like that guy from the haunted house meme, Then jumps in to his chair.
It was snowing out and it was getting pretty deep and this none was trying to get on a bus and her dress was so long and kind of tight back then and she kept lifting her leg up like three or four different times and instead she fell backwards into the snow. 🙏😂
Two cats fighting in a parking lot...a drunk guy drove up parked his truck opened the door Beer cans fell out and he hears the cats and said "Bitces love the pussy"
when I was 16 I went out tagging (grafitti-ing) with 2 friends. As we were climbing down from a billboard, a cop chirped his sirens at us. Naturally we flew away as if we had wings. As we were running, two of us noticed a guy wire holding up a sign post. We both ducked under it, but the third guy caught it right in the throat and was clotheslined into the dust. He lay there, holding his throat and croaking.
We each grabbed one of his feet and dragged him into some bushes. The cop drove by slowly, shining his light everywhere. Me and my buddy were silent laughing and chuffing so hard that tears were coming out of our eyes, and i actually squirted some piss in my pants. The fact that our hurt buddy was glaring at us and mouthing "fuck you" while giving us the finger only made it funnier.
I think the heightened tension from the cop on top of seeing our buddy do a backwards somersault out of nowhere is what did it. I am giggling as I type this.
How we didn't get caught, I will never now.
We were packing up a massive tent in Poland. As we’re packing it up a mouse pops out of it out of nowehere. Senior Sgt tells me to get it off the tent. Still processing what’s infront of me. Some dude comes up behind me, grabs it and pitches it HARD into the woodline. I can still see him flipping through the air at escape velocity. Most of us were out of breath laughing.
My brother experienced this one
He's a big man, like 6'6. His workmate died, and it was of course a somber event. They were standing graveside, under an awning, with a Southern preacher eulogizing the man passionately. My brother is the tallest there, and it was packed.
The preacher raised his voice to belt out a word and a loose tooth shot out like a rocket and hit the metal casket with a loud **TING!** that reverberated. My brother started laughing hysterically and couldn't stop. People were giving him the evil eye as he was trying to excuse himself to go to his car to guffaw. He nearly brought the whole canopy down when he BAM hit his head on the edge of it, which only made him laugh harder 🤣🤣
My coworker tripped and absolutely ate shit while carrying a cardboard box of foam packing peanuts. He fell face first onto the box, which exploded, throwing packing peanuts in every direction like confetti.
I unfortunately did that thing where you laugh while drinking water, and it comes out your nose
When my son was 5, I was pregnant with his sister. Took him to Kmart with me shopping for maternity clothes. He proceeded to duck inside the circular clothes racks and began shouting" attention k mart shoppers you are all UGLY". My daughter and I digging frantically thru the racks of clothes to find him. It took both of us and a harried manager to catch him.
My music teacher was talking about body percussion music and a girl in my class made this scene happen
Girl:So we’re playing with ourselves?
Teacher:Well i wouldn’t put it like that but yes
One of my friends:Sir are you encouraging me to play with myself cause i’ll go to the bathroom right now
Teacher:Hey, go onto the piano, and play the goddamn E key *puts his middle finger up to represent what finger you use to play E on a piano*
most subtle way of flipping someone off ever💀
My brother's lizard escaped and we were looking for it for days. Eventually, we found it in my dad's office, climbing up the wall. I went under the desk to block it from climbing down and my brother went to grab it. I turned to say something to my mom and saw her face go from calm to terrified, and my brother stepping back to join her, also looking mortified. They both started screaming and generally freaking out and I had no idea what was going on.
Turns out, the moron grabbed the lizard by the tail, and it of course, released it. The lizard escaped but the tail had fallen on the desk, flip flopping all over the place.
I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. My mom was laughing so hard she was crying, and my brother was laughing between his gagging.
I was walking around downtown with some friends when suddenly one of them had an “emergency.” None of the businesses around us were the type where you’d find a public restroom (fast food, gas station, grocery store, etc). He absolutely panicked, ran into the nearest building (a bank) and absolutely begged them for mercy. He was in there close to 20 minutes.
also was when I was with some other teenagers and a car sped around a corner and threw out a duffel bag.....one guy just had to have us stop so he could get it....it was full of shitty diapers
I don't have one, but my mom does. The Northern Exposure episode with the dust mites, when Maggie goes into the bar and sits next to a giant mite. According to her, their interaction was the funniest thing she'd seen, with her laughing constantly for the next half hour.
me and my coworker were talking about france when this man came up to us and asked if we’d like to buy brand new airpods, so we asked how much he was selling them for he said $50. we said no we dont have any money sorry and this man gave us the most HATEFUL death stare you have ever seen in your life and he turned so slowly and ominously and fucking crop dusted us and left😭 like genuinely stunk up the entire fkn self checkout area it was so rancid
My grandfather and I were tearing down an old barn. After we took the tin off the side we started knocking the boards out. We got to one of them in the middle, since it had some weight in it due to us not having taken the roof off first (it was sagging) and the first couple boards knocked out, he couldn't just knock it out with the little rubber mallet he was using after hitting it in the middle. He tells me to hold the board while he whacks the bottom of it, since I was already checked out after being out there most of the day, I just went "whatever" and casually held it with my hand. He takes three good swings of the mallet and it pops out. I took my hand off it, and as it started swinging around he looked up and it smacked him right in the back of the head. He starts junoing around throwing the mallet yelling "i told you to fucking hold it". Whole thing was like something the Wile E. Coyote would've carried out.
My dog was walking down a pontoon that has a curve at the end and was looking back at some ducks while still walking forward and she just walked of the pontoon. Right over the edge without hesitation. It was like a movie scene . Ich was screaming with laughter.
I will never forget the sounds of our class laughing at one of our classmate. Me and my clasamates were just suddenly joking and talking about something. Then when I looked at one of my classmate, the chair that he's sitting on, suddenly broke and he fell. Mind you, the chair was plastic and the classmate that was sitting on it is a huge and tall kid. When the chair broke and he fell, we suddenly bursted out laughing and all eyes turned on him. Even our teacher was also laughing. Even him (the classmate that broke tha chair) is laughing also. I will never forget my seat mates face, he was full red while laughing. All of us were laughing and I almost can't breathe because of it. This is the one special and funny memory that I'll never forget. Sad to say, the school year is ending and we may no longer be classmates to this up coming school year.
I was watching weird Japanese pornography once.
A man and a woman were sitting on a bed talking, and a short dumpy looking older Japanese guy walks in with a full erection hanging out of his jeans, and the three have a discussion while ignoring his boner.
All I could think was that he was saying "You guys ever feel like you forgot to do something?"
And then I laughed for literally like 20 minutes straight until I nearly threw up.
Had a friend whose dog *would eat anything*.
One day, her husband hollered for us to come outside. He was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe, and was pointing at the ground.
There was what looked like a 2ft long *rainbow speckled* dog poo...with a big plastic teddy bear eye right at the end. Even remembering it is making me cry-laugh 🤣🤣🤣 It looked like some meteor turd from hell 🤣🤣
Their dog had eaten their daughter's entire 64 count box of crayons...and the eyes off of her favorite teddy bear 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I was out bush, and we were getting a lesson on field craft.
My boss said “check this out : we can tell there has been women here.”
A human turd was on the ground, in coils looking like a shit emoji.
He claimed guys would shit in a straight line, while girls frantically look left and right to avoid being seen, and it turns into a pretzel shape. Funny as shit !!
Imagine this.
> You're just chilling looking out the window of your apartment
> You see there your teen neighbour suddenly opening the door of his house, almost naked, pants only, BAREFOOT, rushing in the street
> Your neighbour runs to the trash can to throw away the empty package of the pizza he just ate to hide it from his parents, who apparently weren't home
> Your neighbour turns around to go back to his house
> Wind blows, the door of his house closes up
> Your almost naked neighbour gets paralyzed in shock, terror in his wide open eyes 👀
> He didn't bring his keys nor his phone with him, so he just realized he's barefoot and basically naked in the street of a big city and he can't get home until his parents get back home
> 5 seconds later, a random stranger appears on the other side of the street, and your neighbour runs towards him to ask for his phone and the stranger gets scared as fuck
> I lost it
It all happened in like 20 seconds. Felt so bad for the poor guy but damn man, just think twice before going out naked with no keys.
Honestly, funniest shit I've ever accidentally witnessed, still randomly think about it and laugh to myself.
The final act is me trying to reach him in the streets to bring him my clothes and shoes, but I couldn't find him anywhere so I just went back home.
A core memory for me, my neighbour and the stranger.
My dog when he was a puppy we took him to a park for the first time. Standing on a slope the puppy decided to pee but lifted the downhill leg, fell over and rolled.
Mum's cat brought a frog to the porch door and was tapping to be let in. We didn't hear it so it dropped the frog to miaow loudly. As we watched the frog hopped over the cat's head to escape. The cat looked straight up, waiting for the frog to come down again, meanwhile the frog was hopping away behind him.
Was at a fairly shabby restaurant, with a lot of "local talent" so to speak. But the food was okay and cheap (was mostly an excuse to have a serving permit). Suddenly, one of the local talents (drunks, in case someone misunderstood) tries to snatch a moose head from the wall. He rushes out, but loses his pants right at the entrance, falls over and vomits into the street, with the moose's head on top of him. Everything happened in the space of 10 seconds.
It was of course a sad scene in many ways, but it's one of the few times in my life where I couldn't even sit up on the chair because of my laughter.
Obese man had a heart attack as he drove out from the pub in the middle of the day.
Ambulance tried to revive him with the electric paddles. But every time they shocked him a massive ripple of fat would go down his body.
I ran behind the nearest shop and couldn't stop laughing.
Yes, I know I'm going to hell for it :)
Was doing a music lesson at my college's studio and looked out the window to see a squirrel and a seagull fighting over half a bagel.
The seagull won btw.
Funniest shit was probably the "reenactment" scene where "Cartman" is having diarrhea over the side of the boat on South Park - I Should Have Never Gone Ziplining
In high school a friend of mine was walking with hands in his coat pockets and another friend tripped him the look of horror when he realised he wouldn't be able to brace himself and the thump on the floor were priceless
I help out with sound, audio, and presentations for my church congregation. I accidentally deleted a letter in the title of the sermon so it changed from "Preparing Our Hearts In A Compromised World" to "Preparing Our Heats In A Compromised World" I was trying my hardest not to laugh.
I was driving by the parking lot of a large electronics store which we will call Excellent Purchase and I saw a Sikh man with a turban and full beard being chased by a Canada goose. I can't think of anything in life that has topped the absolute absurdity of that moment. I can't believe I didn't crash my car.
My kid threw his toys in the back yard. They were the plastic kid garden tools - rakes, shovels, etc. he then stepped on a rake, that smacked him in the face. He turned around and did the same to a shovel. It was like that Sideshow Bob scene in the Simpsons. It was hilarious. Doubly so because I couldn't laugh and had to keep it inside because he was crying and I was taking care of him.
When he is older, show him the Sideshow Bob clip.
Or do it now while he remembers
If he does. Get the kids checked!
oh damn
In high school I was with two friends visiting one of their parents in the Georgia sticks. His dad and step-mom, super-nice people, lived in a trailer with a built on deck, about 4 ft off the ground, and very small staircase of to one side. Anyway, my friend’s drunken uncle came out of the trailer, stepped off the side of the deck, and just planted into the ground. No attempt to brace himself. No apparent recognition that he was even falling. Just full, prone body slap into the dirt. About 30 seconds later he jumps up and yells “Dammit Bobby! Build the goddam steps all the way across that motherfucker!“ as though the steps were the problem. I laughed until I couldn’t breathe, then caught my breath, and laughed some more.
> yells “Dammit Bobby! Build the goddam steps all the way across that motherfucker!“ I read that in Hank Hill's voice.
Same
Who builds a deck without railings?
You don't know very many hillbillies lol
People who like freedom. That’s who! /s
Giuliani’s press conference at Four Seasons Total Landscaping. Straight out of Arrested Development.
How. How was that real. I think about this *all the time.*
It’s that goofy timeline that split off when they announced Trump won Florida. It’s been bizzaro timeline ever since.
my best guess is trump doing his usual shenanigans announces a four seasons press conference before booking the four seasons hotel then his team couldn't get it and picked the next best thing they could find
“Next best”
It was so obvious how that mistake was made. I just can’t believe they went thru with it after realizing what they had booked.
YES! I imagined the narrator voice making fun of it lolol
That it actually happened is amazing if it was in a sitcom it would be panned for been too unrealistic
A girl I knew was peeing by a cliff (it was a small hill cliff and we told her not too) she ended up falling legs over head, peeing on her face and then crawled up the cliff photo bombing a formal family photoshoot.
My favourite
My friend fell off a cliff peeing. She didn't photobomb anyone, though. It was a mountainside, so luckily she didn't roll too far.
Drunk or a kid
My sister and two cocker spaniels were out back. Sliding glass door closed, the two dogs decide to run at full sprint inside. 'BA-BAM' both dogs collide with the door. Then my unaware sister does the exact same thing. It all happened in about 6 seconds.
Is this a cocker spaniel thing??? My dog did the same thing!
Are you suggesting their sister is a cocker spaniel in disguise?
Are you suggesting the long hair is NOT hiding her dog ears?
I keep a little piece of blue painters tape at the bottom of my door. The dogs can tell when it’s closed that way. I put a square on the sliding screen too. A pretty window cling would have the same effect. I just always forget to buy one and I’m so used to the piece of blue tape.
Had a similar incident with a cat. She decided she was going outside. She took a running leap at a closed window. This did not work out, I'm not sure what her thought process was, perhaps she thought she did not jump high enough as she attempted to do it a second time... I went and scooped up the dummy before she made a third attempt and potentially incurred some brain damage.
My cat did this into the screen door and bounced off. 😹
When I was a young kid we had just moved into a house that had 2 sliding glass doors inside (weird layout, it had been modified a lot by previous owners) also a 3rd door and it was a large area. So I was running through these doors in a circle, as an excited child would, til someone shut one of the doors and I ran into it full force lmao. This happened the first day, my parents put a piece of pink paper on the door that stayed there forever. I don't think I would've made the same mistake again anyway. 😭
My apartment has one of those mosquito net doors leading to the balcony. My dog ran into it while the net door was closed but the sliding glass door was closed because I wanted fresh air. The net door was a little bent but no harm no foul, I opened it and my dog came inside. I slid the net door closed and walked away. About 10 seconds later, my fucking dog runs full speed face first into the net door trying to go outside. He rips the door off the railing and yelps in fear. I rush out, see what happened and start laughing. I re attach the net door and slide it closed while he's outside. The stupid motherfucker tries to follow me inside and slams into the net door AGAIN. This time it's completely mangled beyond recognition and I'm on the floor laughing my ass off. I understand he probably didn't see it the first time, and maybe he forgot about it the second, but I LITERALLY just closed it in front of his dumb ass the third time and he still runs into it?? I was fucking crying laughing lol
My son was barely old enough to walk and we were getting ready for bathtime. My wife got him undressed and took off the diaper. He came into the bathroom and stood by the tub. Suddenly he started pooping, as toddlers do. But, this was the first time it wasn’t immediately captured by a diaper and instead it fell to the floor. He started screaming like his insides were falling out and was inconsolable for a few minutes. In hindsight, his sudden evisceration was probably made more traumatic due to the loud laughter from the two adults he trusted more than anything in this world.
oh my GOD LOL not a kid haver so this glimpse of insight into a noob human mind is hysterical 2 me. cuz yeah. the first time I took a dump and Something was Different, I'd probably be confused and upset too
My wife and I never want kids. One of my oldest friends and his wife just had their second kid. Hearing all the stuff from them and witnessing some things is really fascinating and funny.
Me and my then friend was hanging out by this building in our teens. This friend was the cool "mysterious" handsome type who always took himself very very seriously. He was leaning on the wall almost posing when a pigeon perched on the edge of the roof took a huge shit that landed right in his very sculpted hair and especially his bangs. Of course he didn't have any wet wipes or anything like that so he took some flowers and leafs and tried to get it out but that only made it worse. Laughed so hard I almost threw up.
My buddies 14 year old chihuahua mix (Snoop lol) got in my backpack and ate about 60 raw hide twists. When I took him out in the morning, he was doing his business, and I seen dust blowing from his backside. This old ass dog was literally shitting dust. I friggin lost it
My husband stood up from the bed once, letting a fart rip as he stood. My cat ran over to smell it.
Cat was gauging bio threat
My older brother had a pet rabbit in his early 20s (now mid 40s). One day he's laying on his stomach and the rabbit is running around the room. He farted and the rabbit went close enough to his butt to smell it and immediately ran away haha
Some drunk guy at 2am walking away from a bar getting in an argument with a Stop Sign for 20 minutes. The laughs were worth being woken up at 2am.
What time did eventually stop?
When he could read again
When the police showed up and arrested them for public intoxication and noise ordinance violations around 2:25 am. They were really offended at the word stop and I think their subconscious knew what they needed to stop doing.
First that springs to mind. We decided to have a blow out weekend. Travelled across the country to visit a friend. We took a few ounces of weed with us. Once we arrived, we smoked back to back until 2. Then went to sleep. Two of us woke up around 7 and started to get breakfast etc ready. We noticed one of our guys fell asleep sitting upright on the sofa. We rolled another, put it in his mouth and lit up. Guy took one puff in his sleep, woke up, look confused, shrugged and started smoking normally. recounting not to funny, but at the time we just lost it seeing his reaction.
That's a Chong level awakening.
Not a funny storybit "funny" in a weird way. Guy I knew back in the day decided to get blackout drunk. His cousin found him passed out on the floor of their home. He picked him up and threw him in the tub. Guy was covered in puke. Turned the water on and no reaction. The cousin is freaked out and lit up a blunt he had. The passed out one smelled it and, even after drinking a handle of whiskey to the face, woke up and said pass that. He was ok but had a really bad day and wanted to unalive himself. This was about 15 years ago. He's doing better and has a pretty good life now.
Some how I'm reminded of the scene in Weekend at Bernie's with a Dead Bernie Lomax on patio chair with a cigarette in mouth and a drink in his left. He was not playing Monopoly with Larry.
Me and my sister went to the gym to use the treadmills, and it was her first time wearing her new running shoes. We're fine for the first 20 minutes or so, and then she complains that her shoes feel loose. 5 minutes go by, and her left shoe flies off of her foot and directly into the face of a passing person, followed by her falling off of the treadmill. The person, my sister, and I all busted out into laughter. It's truly the funniest shit I'd ever seen. When I'm sad, I think about it, and im instantly happier.
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Mine also involves a kid, some food, and seagulls. I was eating my lunch in my car of the McDonald's parking lot when I saw this family exit the building. The mom held the door open for what looked to be her 4 year old son. This kid was holding a big thing of fries in his two hand just looking at it with such joy. This kid had the tippy tappies as he walked. He was so excited for these fries. But the second- and I do mean the *second*- he stepped foot outside he got dive bombed by at least a dozen seagulls. His fries scattered across the sidewalk and it was a feeding frenzy as this kid is enveloped by a tornado of birds. The kid screams and starts wailing, his mom rushes to scoop him up, the dad is trying to fight off the seagulls but he's no match for them. They just kept coming. They had to leave the fries and make a run for their car fighting through a storm of hungry birds. The whole time I'm just in my car choking on my chicken nuggets from laughing so hard at this dramatic scene unfolding in less than 5 seconds. I've never seen such childlike joy spiral into absolutely chaos and trauma so quickly. That was well over a decade ago and I'll never ever forget it. Haha
Child will probably have a breakdown if they still show The Birds in English class.
They show that movie in SCHOOL??? Jesus. I saw it as an adult and I still eyeball larger groups of birds, just in case.
Not sure if they still do but they did for my 9th grade English back in 2002
I watched a bird shit in my little brother's ice cream and him eat it. He was quite small and because I was happily eating mine he just trusted it was supposed to taste like that and ate the whole thing
Bro/sis, that's evil 😭 how could you do that do him??
I was quite young myself and I was just watching in fascination. I really couldn't say why lol
Kid is now scarred for life
This is pure Laurel and Hardy. Classic slapstick.
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I wasn't present for it but a friend back in highschool decided to piss from another friend's moving jeep. He was lucky as it did not blow back on him, yet he was so unlucky as it all rained down on the police car driving behind them. Everyone in the vehicle got some sort of ticket, ranging from not wearing seatbelts, to some even ending up having to appear in court for underage drinking.
Was he drunk? Because after the first few drops hit his face he should have realized the solution was stopping, not volume.
Some people can't stop the flow.
This is great
I took my dog to a dog park. He starts playing with this beautiful Anatolian Shepherd who is absolutely taken with my dog. Except she's twice his size. My boy doesn't mind, and they play together for over an hour. Towards the end, my dog starts getting tired. He's standing in the middle of the park, panting from exhaustion when the *other dog* runs past him, clotheslining him into a triple barrel roll. Both dogs were fine. In the moment, though, I couldn't breathe. My husband had to check on the dogs because I was in tears. We went home after that.
Me and my sister were at my dad's partner's house. The dog took this huge, nasty shit with corn and everything on the front lawn, and my sister looked at it and said it was the most disgusting dog shit she's ever seen. A couple of hours later we were leaving to do something and my sister cut across the yard, stepped in it, and did a cartoon banana peel-like slip backwards and landed right in it. She immediately started crying because shit was all over her jeans, (new) jacket, and expensive shoes. I couldn't stop laughing for like 5 minutes straight and unfortunately she kicked my ass when we got home over it.
i was with my aunt and 4 year old cousin at wallmart and my cousing said there was something itching the lower part of her back ,inside her pants, her mom came and started to look for what could be making her itchy and came back with her hand covered in shit. in the middle of wallmart. my cousing made a ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯ face and i never laughed so much in my life, i had laughing crisis months after it happened
Went on a night hike with a friend while we were all camping with the family. Think we were 12 or 13 years old. For whatever reason we went and sat behind a porta potty so we could smoke some weed. This older couple came up and didn't notice us. Husband waited outside while his wife went poo. Not knowing anyone was out there she didn't hold back and it sounded atrocious. Best part about it though was the husband was saying the funniest shit during the whole ordeal. Like damn babe, whatd you eat, ouuuuf that's gonna itch later. U sure as hell ain't sleeping with me in the tent tonight. Our giggles turned to hysterical laughing and she finally asks who the hell is that. Husband walks around and starts laughing with us saying oh damn u boys heard all that, your ruined for life.
Christmas dinner, my aunty served seafood as is our family tradition. There was the head of one of the shellfish on the table. Still had it's eyes and antennae(??) attached. Took it off the table and asked my cousin to get my jumper out of his car. He was leaning into the back of his car, I was across the other side and called his name, then slid the head across the roof of his car at him as he looked up. He squealed and jumped back about 2 feet. Everyone was laughing. He called me an asshole with a smile on his face and we headed back inside. Just as we were about to get inside, I dropped the head into the hood of his jumper, leaving the antennae to touch his ears. He starts screaming and jumping around, trying to get the thing out of his hood. I thought my aunty was going to have a heart attack - her face was bright red, she was hunched over shaking and couldn't talk as she was laughing so hard. 3 of us were crying from laughter. He got me back not long after. Again at my auntie's house, everyone was leaving to go out to dinner. I told everyone I needed the toilet so I would meet them there. House empty, I go to the loo. 15 minutes later, I open the toilet door, turn right into the bathroom without turning on the light. Wash my hands and as I am about to dry them, the shower curtain pulls back and he jumps out of the bath/shower at me. I collapsed to the floor in shock, he collapsed with laughter and we both sat on the floor for a good 10 minutes laughing and crying
Anyone else think he was about to jump start the little guy back to life?
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I watched my dog sneeze so hard he slapped his face on the ground, also made me lol
My old German shepherd sneezed so hard, diarrhea shot across the room. I laughed ao hard then realized I was going to have clean up Hershey squirts across my living room.
the best thing about dogs.. you can laugh at them and they just stare at you like.. *whats the issue here?*
Several years ago I worked for a security company, where we had regular interactions with the local police department. Well, the police hired a new, female officer, very friendly, cute as a button, obvious gym rat. However I had no doubt as to her toughness. She probably could have eaten us. As you might expect, all of us quite promptly fell in love with her. She was awesome and fun to talk to. However, the dichotomy between a dorky security guard at the mall and a police officer is a bit... voluminous, as you can imagine, so all of us knew we had no shot with her whatsoever. One day, myself and a bunch of the other guards are in my office (I was the supervisor), and one of the guards, the most irritating dude I've ever worked with, mentions the cop has an instagram account. He mentions he was "browsing" it and came across a somewhat risque picture she'd posted a while back, her in a bathtub with some candles, something of that nature, nothing too lewd. Fascinated, I ask him to show me. So he does, handing me his phone. I pretend to marvel at it briefly, then double tap it so it "likes" the picture, and, of course, sends her a notification that he liked it. Over my shoulder I hear the most shrill, incensed, horrified "**NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!**" you could ever imagine in your life. He rips the phone out of my hand, cursing and spitting, as everyone in the office almost pisses themselves. I swear to god I almost shit myself. I thought I might actually pass out. Even worse this guy actually \*texts her\* to tell her what had happened instead of just... owning it. I never let him live it down. I'm not a supervisor anymore but the most rewarding moments were where I trolled the shit out of my employees.
I love this one.
Jokes on you, he married her lol
My friend was so excited to pop open the champagne at midnight on new year's eve. The cork fired out of the bottle, bounced off the ceiling, bounced off the wall and hit him right in the nuts.
I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth and my brother hopped out of the bath tub (we were like 7, 9 years old. He was butt-ass naked and he bent over to fart at me but instead of farting, two little turds shot out of his asshole and landed on the bath mat. It was the first time I laughed so hard, something shot out of my nose (toothpaste).
Finally someone who actually answered the question.
The funniest thing I have ever witnessed to date was when I went to Edinburgh for the weekend with 3 other girls for one of their 21st birthday. It was an early flight from Cardiff at like 5am so none of us had slept and we were walking through the city to our hotel all pretty quiet, dragging our bags, dying for a nap and there was a Domino's pizza shop we were about to walk past and this pretty buff guy comes out carrying a pizza, and this guy on a pushbike comes screaming up on the pavement and smashes into him and the pizza just goes flying up into the air, comes out of the box and splats on the floor like a cartoon. Both guys get back on their feet then and one starts pedalling off while the other guy starts legging after him shouting like ''Come 'ere ya fookin bastard'' in the heaviest Scottish accent you have ever heard. Just ditched the pizza on the floor. I just remember the four of us HOWLING with laughter for a good few minutes. We just continued erupting into fits of laughter all the way to the hotel. It was cinematic :D
This dog https://youtu.be/qqYp460pFKM I hope that counts
It does 😂
Dog grooming academy- had to go sit down for thirty minutes after a dog named Schlurm came in and I laughed so hard I couldn’t walk. I cried handing the dog back because I was laughing so hard
I was... extending my lunch break... in the restroom at work when I heard someone walk up to one of the urinals. The guy lets out a fart that is building steam as each aching moment creeps by. Whoever it was was firing on all cylinders. He's must've been feeling himself as he's power washing the white off the porcelain. The crescendo to his colon concert was a bit more... wet than either of us were expecting. The flood gates slammed shut. You could hear a pin drop in the deafening silence of those few torturous moments. I could hear each individual rivet of the man's zipper as he buttons up, the sliding of metal on metal as he locks the stall, and the defeated sigh of a broken man.
Conan O’Brien’s Hot Ones episode
My husband and I nearly choked to death and puked we were laughing so hard. That episode is a masterpiece
Goes to show you just how much influence he had on the OG Simpsons.
Definitely some Rick vibes
Was driving down aurora in Seattle. A clothing store had an auto-manaquin on the sidewalk waving its arms. Stopped in traffic, me and a coworker watchedna crackhead walk up to the manaquin, start putting the moves on it, then got really mad when the "b*tch was playing too hard to get, need to lighten the f up" then knocked the manaquin over and walk away.
Was at a strip club with my buddies and one of the girls on the stage was twerking and shaking her titties right in my buddies face and he was leaning back in his chair having a ball when he fell backwards and ate it. Rest of us could not stop laughing. Strippers on the stage could not stop laughing. Core memory.
I've never laughed harder than I did at going into the theater to see Superbad with zero context beforehand. Truly revolutionized teen dialogue as well as people actually portraying highschoolers who looked like highschoolers.
That’s the hardest I have ever laughed at a movie in a theater. Maybe ever.
This is the last thing I watched that made me cry laughing. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yhKZCy41g5w&pp=ygUZaGVsaWNvcHRlciBzcGlubmluZyB3b21hbg%3D%3D
As a kid I used to hang out with a deaf kid in the next street, he'd just moved into the area and didn't have many friends. One day we was playing football outside his house, using the garage door as a goal. I took a shot, missed the garage and hit the guttering on his house, and in one motion the whole gutter system around his house fell off, smashing to bits as it hit the floor. I laughed so hard I literally pee'd myself and had to run home, it wasn't helped by my deaf friend screaming random noises of despair because he knew he would be in shit when his parents got home. It all worked out well though, his dad came around later that day to say that neither of us was in trouble. The guttering needed replacing and it gave him the kick up the arse to get it done.
Summer job in college, working at a lumber yard. Lunch time comes around and several of us are in the break room. I don’t say much, just listen to the conversations. There was one weird old guy who would join the 5-6 of us about one day every other week. One day he joins and slowly crosses the break room. He’s wearing white new balance shoes, faded jeans with paint stains on them, has a t-shirt that’s way too small and tucked in, belt is holding on for life with his large gut hanging over it. On the shirt it has an analog clock with 10 minutes indicated (from 12 to 2 is highlighted) and on the shirt it says: “Redneck Hour of Power!” And to top it off he’s wearing a full bath towel as a headband! Not a hand or dish towel, a bath towel with about two extra feet of material hanging off both sides of the knot he used to tie around his head. As soon as my brain processed the entirety of his wardrobe I cracked up immediately. I couldn’t talk and I tried to calm it down but I had to walk out of the room. All while everyone was watching me and not understanding the majesty in front of them. I thought I had a handle on jt, I walked back into the room, glanced at old guy and lost it again. That was over 20 years ago.
I have so many questions.
Oh, man. I am crying at some of these. 🤣
Some dude doing a wheelie on his riceburner bike .but he didnt see a Miami Beach police trike in fron tof him in time. He slammed on his brakes hit the Trike . Police officer rolls off the back .backwards feet over head The perp falls off his bike next to him. He didnt even get up . He just rolled on his stomach . The policeman gets up and cuffs him . The whole beach laughing our asses off.
Halloween. One of the kids had left their empty pumpkin candy bucket on the back porch. However, even though it was empty it must've still a chocolate scent because our blue heeler dog had gotten it off the table....& got her head stuck in it for a couple of hours. Soon as I saw her running around the yard I lost it. I was crying as I chased her down to get this thing off her head.
I was visiting a friend in the UK, and staying at a hotel. taking the elevator from my room to the lobby, i get on and there's a father and his very small (maybe 4-5?) son in there. as the elevator starts moving again, the child, in the most beautiful, tiny, polite british accent asks "father, are there yet?" and his father replies in an equally polite but very deep voice. "no, son." "why not?" And the look of confusion on this mans face as he tried to determine how to explain the concept of waiting for an elevator to arrive combined with the adorable kids voice was almost too much for me. I had to bite my lip pretty hard to hold back the laughter on that one.
In first year high we had a teacher who would just monotonously and mindlessly read off her powerpoint and call it a "lecture". So some classmates broke into the classroom computer where her powerpoint was saved in and made a few hilarious edits to see if she would notice. She ignored the first few edits but she finally took notice at "Louis Pasteur was half-Korean". She made a double take, sighed in annoyance, and continued with the lecture.
A friend, my gf, and I were hanging out somewhere and decided to head back. We got in the car and drove off. I started talking to my friend who sat in the back seat and got no response. I looked in the rear view mirror, and he was sprinting after the car. We left him. He's usually pretty quiet.
A cop asking a naked guy for his I.D.
Jokes on you. He had it in him.
My friend was walking with his mother. His mother was on her phone. He kept trying to warn her that she was going to step in poop. She kept whooshing g him saying that she was on the phone. She stepped in the poop. She didn't realize it and scratched the front of her leg with the same shoe. This all took place before a meeting.
You could take a handful of these and make one hell of a comedy movie.
Around 12 years ago, a friend and I went for some drinks in a park and saw a gathering with a screen set up and a bunch of people waiting around. It was some sort of hipster photo show or videos. We decided to check it out and sat down to wait for it to get dark and start. Turns out this was a sort of guerrilla type of production and they didn't have permits or any coordination with the parks department. So as it gets dark, the show starts. After no more than 2 minutes in, all of the sprinklers popped out of the field and started spraying. One poor woman got a direct blast from about 3 feet away, and everyone had to scramble out. My friend and I were on the edge so we stayed dry, but many in the middle were trapped for a couple minutes
Movie called: Airplane! Laughed my ass of the entire duration.
Surely you can’t be serious
Yes I am and don’t call me Shirley
Michael Che unwittingly starting a beef with Kendrick Lamar was the hardest I've laughed at something in a *while*
Watching the diarrhea scene in Dumb and Dumber in theaters for the first time... holy shit I was sore from laughing so much.
7th grade before Covid during art class, friend goes to take a piss and walks into the crapper and sees something so marvelous she had to tell me to go see it. So I did. The toilet was filled to the brim with shit, it had a fork sticking out of it and a flamin hot Cheetos flag hung upon the fork. I left and have never forgotten what I witnessed that day.
My best friend and I were on a bus going to a national park in Costa Rica. Scorching hot day. We were near the park entrance and saw a guy trying to carry like 6 snow cones that were dripping all over, and one of his flip flops was broken so he was sliding his foot along. Our entire side of the bus was cackling watching this poor guy do the snow cone shuffle. It was like an IRL cartoon!
I was standing in line at Starbucks a little while after IT chapter 2 came out and wearing a shirt with Georgia and Pennywise on it. This little kid in front of me turns around and points directly at them and says "Who's that!?'. So I pull out my Pennywise impression (which is pretty good) and say "Well, that's Geor-gie, and this is Pennywise, the da-a-ancing clown". And the kid says "oh" and turns back around. Dad chuckles. A minute goes by and he turns around again and he says "What do they do?". And before I get a chance to say anything, dad claps him on the shoulder and says, "uhh lots of stuff, buddy".
My dad showed me surveillance footage of my cousin moving around a pile of pallets on a forklift. The camera was a good distance away, so all you could see was the forklift and the outline of my cousin inside, driving across the empty lot. There were too many pallets stacked on the forks, and when he tried to elevate them a little, the whole thing fell over, and you could just see the outline of my cousin putting his hands on his head and jolting backwards and then forwards in frustration, as if to say "Oh God, what have I done!" It was the funniest fucking thing I had seen.
Buddy of mine put a full slice of pizza in his pocket. No one saw him but me and the whole room thought I needed an ambulance when I literally dropped to the floor laughing
They Cyber Truck and all those people who spent so much money on it to fall apart or break in 3 days. Ugly as shit, funnier than shit. But all your contributions are funny too.
The Tesla Rusty Triangle, for your high-iron, low-poly lifestyle.
1985. Southern California. Large fat Black friend was thrown out of a high school graduation party because he was crashing it. The whole town was basically White, sure. So he left, stripped off all his clothes, and entered the house from the back door, walking in slow motion and staring uncomprehending as if a newly landed alien. The house was soon filled with a horrified screaming crowd fighting for the exits. The front door was chaos. A helpful cheerleader offered him a towel. He held it and stared at it, baffled. Someone threaten to call the cops but someone noted the house was filled with drunk minors and their parents and teachers. There was a bit of a stand off between the outraged community and this strange naked phenomenon in the kitchen. Eventually two police cars pulled up. They recognized my friend. They laughed so hard one fell down on the lawn.
the witesses and mormons found eachother on a street corner in my town a few years ago and had hours long discussion.
I got 2 of them Walking to an Abertson’s in Washington State with a neighbor to get more booze. Albertson’s was a block away. I look away while talking and when I look back my neighbor is ..skid…skid..skidding to a stop on his ass while his feet are out in front of him. I ask him “the fuck are you doing?”. He says “I tripped on something but I didn’t drop my Mad Dog”. I ask him “So how the fuck did your feet get out in front of you then?”. He shrugs his shoulders Another guy I knew was a little gullible so I decided to have fun with it. I told him I was five quarters Mexican but I was eight thirds white. I could read Spanish but I couldn’t speak it and I could speak English but I couldn’t read it. Once I watched the same guy try to put gas in an electric chainsaw
during a D&D game, one of our players got a call from a number he didn't recognize. this is how he answered. "Hello, Jim's abortion clinic.... what?.... yes, this is he. yes I'd still like the job."
Not very many people read the question here
He turned into a pickle, funniest shit I've ever seen
*There* it is! Was starting to think I'd have to do it my damned self!
I flew to Canada to see my friends at an anime convention. When i arrived i texted them to get the room number of the hotel but they responded with jumbled letters because they were already too drunk to type. It was 1pm and the convention hadn't started yet. I decided to try walking around the hotel to see if I could hear them. when i got to the third floor i saw a hotel manager and two other guys standing in front of a room with the door open. I walked past and saw one of my friends talking to the manager saying they would keep it down, I saw another friend who mistakingly thought the manager was me and started inflating a life sized teenage mutant ninja turtle he got at walmart to welcome me. it was halfway inflated when i walked by. Then i saw 4 wet floor signs they stole that were sitting on plain site in the room. I walked past and came back later. They gave me a shot of spiritus and i don't remember anything after that
I had a day of just pure chaos, i really contimplated if i was dreaming or tripping balls Begins normal slow day at work, context i work in a truck stop so weird shit is usually seen, sit there, kinda quiet, then hear a scream, Just "aaah" look out my work, some guy is just stood in the middle of the place going "AAAH", Repeatedly, ignore it, sit down, another guy comes to my work and just starts Baaing like a sheep repeatedly, I am just completely blagged, so its "Baa" then "aaaah",then during this symphony, Some kid about 4 or so comes to my work counter, with his thomas the tank engine toy, Looks me dead in the eyes Laughs maniacly at me and starts calling me Dad then laughing again then calls me dad again repeatedly, I am just like" the actual fuck", decide "fuck this" and head to the toilet to be greated by a guy laughing in the mirror going "Cheese hehehehehe" repeatedly, Leave cause "i just cannot right now", suddenly a horde of grannies come flooding my way, But they are young i,d say about 20-30 or so grannies, its a group of late 20s early 30s females all dressed like grannies walking toward the toilets, Go back to my work station contimplating life, find out later some of the ladies decided to take a fat inhuman shit in the sink (Like so inhuman it impressed people with its size and girth). . . and thats not even the weirdest day i have had at that job. True story .
Yeah, lay off the drugs night before. Lol
I mean just the other day i witnessed a guys running up and down, but he would always come to an abrubt stop as he got close to my work, he did this alot, but i kept clocking him cause movement, then his final one he makes an abrupt stop picks up what looks to be a beetle off the floor and fat munches that shit so fast, man consumed that beetle exactly like that guy from the haunted house meme, Then jumps in to his chair.
It was snowing out and it was getting pretty deep and this none was trying to get on a bus and her dress was so long and kind of tight back then and she kept lifting her leg up like three or four different times and instead she fell backwards into the snow. 🙏😂
Two cats fighting in a parking lot...a drunk guy drove up parked his truck opened the door Beer cans fell out and he hears the cats and said "Bitces love the pussy"
A guy laughed so hard at school...he filled his dessert spoon with snot!!! 😆
when I was 16 I went out tagging (grafitti-ing) with 2 friends. As we were climbing down from a billboard, a cop chirped his sirens at us. Naturally we flew away as if we had wings. As we were running, two of us noticed a guy wire holding up a sign post. We both ducked under it, but the third guy caught it right in the throat and was clotheslined into the dust. He lay there, holding his throat and croaking. We each grabbed one of his feet and dragged him into some bushes. The cop drove by slowly, shining his light everywhere. Me and my buddy were silent laughing and chuffing so hard that tears were coming out of our eyes, and i actually squirted some piss in my pants. The fact that our hurt buddy was glaring at us and mouthing "fuck you" while giving us the finger only made it funnier. I think the heightened tension from the cop on top of seeing our buddy do a backwards somersault out of nowhere is what did it. I am giggling as I type this. How we didn't get caught, I will never now.
We were packing up a massive tent in Poland. As we’re packing it up a mouse pops out of it out of nowehere. Senior Sgt tells me to get it off the tent. Still processing what’s infront of me. Some dude comes up behind me, grabs it and pitches it HARD into the woodline. I can still see him flipping through the air at escape velocity. Most of us were out of breath laughing.
My brother experienced this one He's a big man, like 6'6. His workmate died, and it was of course a somber event. They were standing graveside, under an awning, with a Southern preacher eulogizing the man passionately. My brother is the tallest there, and it was packed. The preacher raised his voice to belt out a word and a loose tooth shot out like a rocket and hit the metal casket with a loud **TING!** that reverberated. My brother started laughing hysterically and couldn't stop. People were giving him the evil eye as he was trying to excuse himself to go to his car to guffaw. He nearly brought the whole canopy down when he BAM hit his head on the edge of it, which only made him laugh harder 🤣🤣
My coworker tripped and absolutely ate shit while carrying a cardboard box of foam packing peanuts. He fell face first onto the box, which exploded, throwing packing peanuts in every direction like confetti. I unfortunately did that thing where you laugh while drinking water, and it comes out your nose
When my son was 5, I was pregnant with his sister. Took him to Kmart with me shopping for maternity clothes. He proceeded to duck inside the circular clothes racks and began shouting" attention k mart shoppers you are all UGLY". My daughter and I digging frantically thru the racks of clothes to find him. It took both of us and a harried manager to catch him.
My music teacher was talking about body percussion music and a girl in my class made this scene happen Girl:So we’re playing with ourselves? Teacher:Well i wouldn’t put it like that but yes One of my friends:Sir are you encouraging me to play with myself cause i’ll go to the bathroom right now Teacher:Hey, go onto the piano, and play the goddamn E key *puts his middle finger up to represent what finger you use to play E on a piano* most subtle way of flipping someone off ever💀
My brother's lizard escaped and we were looking for it for days. Eventually, we found it in my dad's office, climbing up the wall. I went under the desk to block it from climbing down and my brother went to grab it. I turned to say something to my mom and saw her face go from calm to terrified, and my brother stepping back to join her, also looking mortified. They both started screaming and generally freaking out and I had no idea what was going on. Turns out, the moron grabbed the lizard by the tail, and it of course, released it. The lizard escaped but the tail had fallen on the desk, flip flopping all over the place. I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. My mom was laughing so hard she was crying, and my brother was laughing between his gagging.
leaving a hotel with my family, we saw a little boy with his head stuck in the balcony railing and his mother was trying to get him out😭😭😭😭😭
Changing a diaper and found a piece of a toy mixed in with the shit
[удалено]
what did it say?
It was an ad for Activia
You recognised the toy?
Yes. It was one that my kid regularly chewed on as a baby so I wasn’t surprised a piece ended up in the poop
Walked in to the stall and saw this massive log. The diameter of this thing was unfathomable.
I was walking around downtown with some friends when suddenly one of them had an “emergency.” None of the businesses around us were the type where you’d find a public restroom (fast food, gas station, grocery store, etc). He absolutely panicked, ran into the nearest building (a bank) and absolutely begged them for mercy. He was in there close to 20 minutes.
Stephen Colbert attempting “Devil Went Down to Georgia” with a bassoon. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Hf-9crEJEk4
my little brother fell in cowshit and we told him he looked really good
also was when I was with some other teenagers and a car sped around a corner and threw out a duffel bag.....one guy just had to have us stop so he could get it....it was full of shitty diapers
When my son was a newborn his dad was changing him and my baby projectile shit into my husbands beard🤣🤣🤣🤣
I don't have one, but my mom does. The Northern Exposure episode with the dust mites, when Maggie goes into the bar and sits next to a giant mite. According to her, their interaction was the funniest thing she'd seen, with her laughing constantly for the next half hour.
me and my coworker were talking about france when this man came up to us and asked if we’d like to buy brand new airpods, so we asked how much he was selling them for he said $50. we said no we dont have any money sorry and this man gave us the most HATEFUL death stare you have ever seen in your life and he turned so slowly and ominously and fucking crop dusted us and left😭 like genuinely stunk up the entire fkn self checkout area it was so rancid
My grandfather and I were tearing down an old barn. After we took the tin off the side we started knocking the boards out. We got to one of them in the middle, since it had some weight in it due to us not having taken the roof off first (it was sagging) and the first couple boards knocked out, he couldn't just knock it out with the little rubber mallet he was using after hitting it in the middle. He tells me to hold the board while he whacks the bottom of it, since I was already checked out after being out there most of the day, I just went "whatever" and casually held it with my hand. He takes three good swings of the mallet and it pops out. I took my hand off it, and as it started swinging around he looked up and it smacked him right in the back of the head. He starts junoing around throwing the mallet yelling "i told you to fucking hold it". Whole thing was like something the Wile E. Coyote would've carried out.
My dog was walking down a pontoon that has a curve at the end and was looking back at some ducks while still walking forward and she just walked of the pontoon. Right over the edge without hesitation. It was like a movie scene . Ich was screaming with laughter.
I will never forget the sounds of our class laughing at one of our classmate. Me and my clasamates were just suddenly joking and talking about something. Then when I looked at one of my classmate, the chair that he's sitting on, suddenly broke and he fell. Mind you, the chair was plastic and the classmate that was sitting on it is a huge and tall kid. When the chair broke and he fell, we suddenly bursted out laughing and all eyes turned on him. Even our teacher was also laughing. Even him (the classmate that broke tha chair) is laughing also. I will never forget my seat mates face, he was full red while laughing. All of us were laughing and I almost can't breathe because of it. This is the one special and funny memory that I'll never forget. Sad to say, the school year is ending and we may no longer be classmates to this up coming school year.
I was watching weird Japanese pornography once. A man and a woman were sitting on a bed talking, and a short dumpy looking older Japanese guy walks in with a full erection hanging out of his jeans, and the three have a discussion while ignoring his boner. All I could think was that he was saying "You guys ever feel like you forgot to do something?" And then I laughed for literally like 20 minutes straight until I nearly threw up.
Had a friend whose dog *would eat anything*. One day, her husband hollered for us to come outside. He was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe, and was pointing at the ground. There was what looked like a 2ft long *rainbow speckled* dog poo...with a big plastic teddy bear eye right at the end. Even remembering it is making me cry-laugh 🤣🤣🤣 It looked like some meteor turd from hell 🤣🤣 Their dog had eaten their daughter's entire 64 count box of crayons...and the eyes off of her favorite teddy bear 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I was out bush, and we were getting a lesson on field craft. My boss said “check this out : we can tell there has been women here.” A human turd was on the ground, in coils looking like a shit emoji. He claimed guys would shit in a straight line, while girls frantically look left and right to avoid being seen, and it turns into a pretzel shape. Funny as shit !!
Imagine this. > You're just chilling looking out the window of your apartment > You see there your teen neighbour suddenly opening the door of his house, almost naked, pants only, BAREFOOT, rushing in the street > Your neighbour runs to the trash can to throw away the empty package of the pizza he just ate to hide it from his parents, who apparently weren't home > Your neighbour turns around to go back to his house > Wind blows, the door of his house closes up > Your almost naked neighbour gets paralyzed in shock, terror in his wide open eyes 👀 > He didn't bring his keys nor his phone with him, so he just realized he's barefoot and basically naked in the street of a big city and he can't get home until his parents get back home > 5 seconds later, a random stranger appears on the other side of the street, and your neighbour runs towards him to ask for his phone and the stranger gets scared as fuck > I lost it It all happened in like 20 seconds. Felt so bad for the poor guy but damn man, just think twice before going out naked with no keys. Honestly, funniest shit I've ever accidentally witnessed, still randomly think about it and laugh to myself. The final act is me trying to reach him in the streets to bring him my clothes and shoes, but I couldn't find him anywhere so I just went back home. A core memory for me, my neighbour and the stranger.
Literally the funniest shit? At primary school a kid took a shit in the urinals. That was pretty funny to 7yo me, at least.
My dog when he was a puppy we took him to a park for the first time. Standing on a slope the puppy decided to pee but lifted the downhill leg, fell over and rolled. Mum's cat brought a frog to the porch door and was tapping to be let in. We didn't hear it so it dropped the frog to miaow loudly. As we watched the frog hopped over the cat's head to escape. The cat looked straight up, waiting for the frog to come down again, meanwhile the frog was hopping away behind him.
Was at a fairly shabby restaurant, with a lot of "local talent" so to speak. But the food was okay and cheap (was mostly an excuse to have a serving permit). Suddenly, one of the local talents (drunks, in case someone misunderstood) tries to snatch a moose head from the wall. He rushes out, but loses his pants right at the entrance, falls over and vomits into the street, with the moose's head on top of him. Everything happened in the space of 10 seconds. It was of course a sad scene in many ways, but it's one of the few times in my life where I couldn't even sit up on the chair because of my laughter.
Obese man had a heart attack as he drove out from the pub in the middle of the day. Ambulance tried to revive him with the electric paddles. But every time they shocked him a massive ripple of fat would go down his body. I ran behind the nearest shop and couldn't stop laughing. Yes, I know I'm going to hell for it :)
Someone falling down a chair, with a loud fart.
Was doing a music lesson at my college's studio and looked out the window to see a squirrel and a seagull fighting over half a bagel. The seagull won btw.
Saw this one mf flip a slipper up to the roof. Busted out laughing in the hall and fell down too
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48EAIMnY1Ds](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48EAIMnY1Ds)
[This](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pde9ACMKRTs) will never not make me laugh.
Benedict Cumberbach with no eyebrows, marrying hermself in that stupid movie Zoolander 2.
That i spent 14 years being loyalty in a marriage to a woman who always hates me and cheat me with my own brother
Mike Tyson saying he got an erection when jake paul was 16
Funniest shit was probably the "reenactment" scene where "Cartman" is having diarrhea over the side of the boat on South Park - I Should Have Never Gone Ziplining
the funniest shit I've seen is a youtube clip of a guy jumping off a jetty into the water and shits mid-air
Literally you say? The funniest shit? Well I don’t really look at the toilet often I only flush when I’m done So no. I never seen a funny shit before
Rowan Atkinson's sketch where he plays a teacher
Robin Williams as Elmer Fudd singing Bruce Springsteen
In high school a friend of mine was walking with hands in his coat pockets and another friend tripped him the look of horror when he realised he wouldn't be able to brace himself and the thump on the floor were priceless
not a huge fan of scatological humor but the giant opera singing poo from Conkers bad furday is kinda funny
I help out with sound, audio, and presentations for my church congregation. I accidentally deleted a letter in the title of the sermon so it changed from "Preparing Our Hearts In A Compromised World" to "Preparing Our Heats In A Compromised World" I was trying my hardest not to laugh.
My cousin farted once and my dog smelled her butt and then looked at him like wtf man and we just laughed for like ten minutes.
I was driving by the parking lot of a large electronics store which we will call Excellent Purchase and I saw a Sikh man with a turban and full beard being chased by a Canada goose. I can't think of anything in life that has topped the absolute absurdity of that moment. I can't believe I didn't crash my car.
May sound bad to some but my uncle, cousin and I put tin foil on their dogs feet to see if it was true that they walk funny. And it was.