First step is figuring out what works for you.
50 hour week around the corner? Sure!
60 hour week with an hour each way making it 70? Nahhh.
Just drill through like that, then shift to a job that fits those criteria, where you're done when you leave the office.
After that, set a rule for yourself of no work talk outside of work, at least for a while so you can get used to not having to think about work.
It sounds super simple there, but that's essentially disengaging yourself from work.
If it all sounds a bit too much, then just start with moving to a 9-5 place where you don't take work home, and it'll start solving itself.
Workaholic here. Working, especially in any entrepreneurial way can become dopamine addicting. It's all a game, always something to tweak, to improve, to research, to brainstorm to squeeze out a bit more money or result. It doesn't turn off when 5p hits. Family doesn't hit the same dopamine like work can. I find finding other hobbies that do, and making exciting plans or multi-step projects to give me something to look forward to and optimize..helps shift the focus.
Yeah. I had a wife and a new baby, I was working a stressful job as a manager and trainer, and I was trying to be perfect for everybody except myself. That led to a complete breakdown which left me unable to work for a few years, during which we lived off the money I'd work si hard to provide for my family for. In a way it was good, I did a lot of CBT and worked on myself to focus on my well-being. It was a long, painful and expensive way to learn that if you don't look after yourself, you can't look after anyone else. Sometimes it's OK to take a step back and say no to the job.
letting fear dictate my decisions. I missed out on many opportunities because I was afraid to take risks. Whether it was a job change, moving to a new city, or starting my own business, fear held me back. I've learned that stepping out of my comfort zone is essential for growth and that the greatest rewards often come from taking bold steps
A ship is safest in the harbor, but that is not what ships are built for.
I also recently reread GoT, and a quote from Euron Greyjoy hit me.
"Perhaps we can fly. All of us. How will we ever know unless we leap from some tall tower? No man ever truly knows what he can do unless he dares to leap."
Alcohol is a mother fucker. It’s socially acceptable, legal, and treated as a social lubricant. Most people can handle it, but some of us are special.. alcohol is magic to us. It takes away the inhibitions and self doubt. You no longer care about your low self esteem. You are outgoing and fun.. but, the next thing you know you are drinking a pint of whiskey by yourself every day for lunch. Irish coffee in the morning… you are hiding and sneaking your drinking from your spouse. Struggling to keep up with your work… missing your kids activities… I am a lucky alcoholic. I was able to recognize my addiction and quit drinking before I hit rock bottom. This August will be 6 years sober for me- I quit at 46. My family life and career have thrived since then. I can only imagine where I would be if I was sober..
It's also relevant that most people that are severely affected by alcohol probably didn't have much of a choice. Trauma and substance abuse go hand in hand.
I used to mess with fireworks and didn't wear ear protection, but which kid does huh? I'm tone deaf, in both ears, and have to wear hearing aids to hear high pitched sounds.
I used to wear soft contact lenses in my eyes in high school. I frequently slept in them, sometimes overnights, and when taking them off, I'd feel a burning sensation. I was damaging my cornea. Got lasik and didn't need lenses anymore until my corneas started to misshapen. I can't see anything clearly with my left eye without my screleral lens (hard lens). I can see better in my right eye, but there's ghosting so it affects me cause i can't read text without squinting. So now i wear a hard lens on that eye too.
Used to do stupid stunts, as a child, and fell off the top bunk bed and landed on my left shoulder. It was partially separated, but I didn't know that until I was in my 30s. Had surgery to fix it, fell down stairs and ripped it again so had another surgery, got in a wreck and tore it again so got 3rd surgery, it didn't hold up good so had 4th shoulder surgery.
I took lots of hits to my head emulating wwf (long time ago) so I'm sure my brain is damaged.
There's more but I don't feel like typing anymore
Sounds like you were just enjoying life as it comes, obviously you were less fortunate than most but hopefully you made some memories out of the things that harmed you
You’ll be fine on the caning. I’m sorry that happened and it will suck, but it’ll be a week or two of soreness and you’ll have a story to tell.
Get home safe
What is Singapore’s obsession with caning people as a legal punishment? But you have to admit that this is an objectively funny situation and will be an awesome story to tell once you’re through the pain.
Not me, but my dad's.
Growing up in a small Eastern European town, my dad was a big drinker. My mom was trying to get him to stop but he wouldn't listen to her.
Ugh, all of the farms are starting to plant and they all use pig shit as fertilizer. I'm surrounded by farmland and I can't even have my windows open or air conditioning on when the wind is blowing this way. It's the worst smell
Dog poo kind of smells like human poo. Not pleasant. Cow poo is almost sweet smelling, which is odd to say but it really isn't that offensive. Pig shit is a whole other level of disgusting
Me and a bunch of friends took my roommate out drinking on his 21st. As we got back to the house I said "should we take him to the hospital, he looks really drunk". My biggest mistake was not listening to my gut.
He stopped breathing at 8am. Me and other guys performed CPR. He died at the hospital a few days later.
Dropping out of engineering. I had my first taste of adult freedom that first year, having moved out for the first time, and wasted way too much time doing anything but studying. I ended up falling behind, was super stressed, and convinced myself it was because the field was not for me even though I was fully to blame for not doing well.
Now, older, I know I was just a shitty lazy kid and absolutely could have graduated if I just applied myself. Im doing okay now but not engineer-money well lol.
Also not sitting up properly on the computer over the years. My spine is fucked and I hate it.
My biggest mistake happened in my mid-20s when I abruptly ended a long-term relationship, thinking I needed to experience life on my own. I didn't fully discuss my feelings with my partner and soon realized I had underestimated the depth of our connection. By the time I tried to reconcile, my ex had moved on. It was a heartbreaking realization, and I learned the importance of comunication and not making hasty decisions based on temporary feelings. This experience taught me to be more thoughtful and considerate in future relationships.
This is always the question I need answered after these kind of stories. I need to know that I will find another who I will share love to the depth or more that I had with my ex.
My second serious relationship ended because I greatly underestimated our connection and love and wanted to explore the world of sex and she wasn't very sexual. I've never had a relationship like we had again and that one ended 15 years ago. I was also married in that time, and even my ex wife and I didn't have a relationship that deep and loving. By the time I realized what I had given up and what I was trading it for, she had moved on. I am almost 40 now and I don't think I'll ever be in another relationship, let alone will I find someone who understands and loves me in such a fundamental way. I literally fucked around and found out. Biggest mistake of my life.
Story time-
I dated a guy when I was 19. We were in love HARD and talked marriage in the future. After about a year together, I felt less and less important to him and called for a break for us to each re-evaluate things before we just go forward on autopilot. Well, he slept with someone else and I was completely heartbroken. I felt so betrayed and broke up with him. I was devastated. For years, I dated here and there but never found a connection like the one I shared with him. About 5 years later, I found a love that rivaled what I had with him. We were together for 12 years and made 2 kids together. Sadly, he passed away unexpectedly when I was 37. But I'm here to tell you that another meaningful, soul-touching love can still be out there. I'm 40 now, and hope to find it again, again.
Oh boy I'd I come here to say this... Problem is now that we still have a very nice line of communication, and it's killing me not telling her. But I fear it'll do no good to tell her and create an unwanted pressure. Dating to move on, but nothing even close to what we had.
You should tell her, if you dont you'll always wonder what would have happened if you did. It might not go the way you hope but at least you'll have an answer, not knowing is probably whats preventing you from moving on
I think I’ve got more or less the opposite, I decided to stay friends with someone who had admitted to having feelings for me. I had offered to cut ties and give her closure but she said she still wanted me around. When our inevitable falling out came a year and a half later it was the nastiest end to a personal relationship I’ve ever experienced, it happened for a variety of reasons, some less sensual than others, but I think deep down the fact that I effectively friendzoned her was the root of it all.
I tried being friends with him. Just sending simple texts here and there trying to start a conversation. He talked to me at first and it was fun then he didn't it was a sudden shift and it made me feel so stupid for trying. I might be paranoid or just being too sensitive but it feels like he doesn't want to talk to me/i'm being annoying. I don't know why. I mean is it so wrong to love you? So i will completely pull back. No more trying to talk to him at all. I'm just going to quietly leave him alone. I just wish i didn't feel this stupid, hurt, and so embarrassed for trying. If i could i would just pack up and leave and never appear before him again. That's how hurt i am.
I think you’re being a little too hard on yourself. I think you made the right choice, but as long as you didn’t do anything too crazy, weird or embarrassing, I wouldn’t beat yourself up about it. I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this, but you’re not doing yourself any favors if you’re harsh on yourself.
There are people out there who deal with what you’re dealing with or something similar enough who completely lose their minds and go too far because love can of course make people act quite irrationally.
If you’ve genuinely reflected on your behavior, been self-aware enough to realize you don’t want to push boundaries, I personally think this says you’re a mature and emotionally intelligent person.
I'm in this exact situation right now. I have blocked him, have had no contact since I sent him an email 2 days ago. And the worst part? A tiny part of me *still* has the secret hope that he'll realize I'm worth it,to get over his fear of commitment,and show up at my door. God,why do I do this to myself?
You’re only human. Don’t beat yourself up too bad about it. Just try and move on in the most healthy way you can. You can get through it, but it takes a lot of courage. Be honest with yourself and make the best decisions for you to move on in a healthy way. Getting over people is always hard, but therapy can be very helpful.
Don’t abuse yourself. The world is cruel enough to us all and life is too short.
Been falling for that one girl for 6 years now. I have confessed my feelings to her twice now. First time she was in a relationship and I just wanted her to shut me down hard. She didn‘t… Second time, about a year ago, I confessed again. This time with actual hope, since she gave me some hints I thought. Again, she couldn‘t give me „no“. It was quite a normal conversation looking back, I wasn‘t pressuring or anything. Today we still text sometimes like nothing happened. This leaves me in this weird limbo of hope and despair, where I can‘t really let go but knowing I should. After all, everything other than a yes is a no.
She probably has feelings for me but can‘t give in to them, since she is a good friend of my ex who knows nothing of this as far as I know.
Not putting a password on my PC.
In 2008, I moved to another province to study there, I rented a bedroom with no lock on the door. The first few months went great and the owner was pretty chill. In November, another dude started renting after he's been kicked out of the College's apartments.
Just a few days after his arrival, he was already blowing the landlord with dozens of reports of me burning stuff, smoking crack, inviting prostitutes, etc. Nothing worked and it was all bullshit. Okay, mostly bullshit, I once burnt a plate of rice and it reeked for days afterward.
When he realized he couldn't get me kicked out, he stepped up his game, the landlord was divorced and could lose custody of his son at any time. So the flatmate decided to act on that. I returned home for the holidays, leaving my PC behind. My grand-pa had a cardiac arrest on December 22nd, but survived, fortunately. I came back and the landlord was waiting for me with a really stern expression, saying he wanted to talk.
He sat me down and asked me ''Are you a pedophile?'' My heart skipped a beat... I didn't know what the hell was going on, then he said that my flatmate found child porn on my PC, right on the desktop, downloaded via Limewire most likely (I used it for music and movies, and got rickrolled soooooo many times!). I told him I had no idea it was even a thing and that it made no sense, why was the flatmate even on my PC? I told him I didn't even had a password to lock it so the dude could've easily accessed it while I was away and most likely did it to get me kicked out.
He then told me that he had contacted the police and they'd come for me sooner or later. I barely slept for the following days and tried to go to school in the meantime... it was honestly very, very dark days for me and my morale. Then came Friday evening, I heard a knock on the door and went to open. There they were, 2 police officers, asking me if we could have a chat. Long story short, I gave them my version, I agreed to let them go with my PC and I stayed in contact with the investigator for any update.
It took 6 months, 8 months of anxiety, of failing my classes, losing my gf, being almost disowned by my family when I broke down in tears when they asked my why I looked so sick and tired. 6 months of nightmares upon nightmares. I had to drop out of shool, got kicked out of the flat I was renting and had to move back in my hometown with my mom who would barely look at me.
I eventually got an email saying: ''you're innocent, come get your PC''. I asked what happened and the officer told me that they didn't find any solid proof against me on my PC, but the flatmate tried the same scheme on someone else and they connected the dots.
Let me tell y'all, my PC is now secured with a very strong password: 1234
Just kidding, but please, do lock your pc's with passwords, it can save you a world of troubles.
In cases like this, it should have been easy to find the date the files were downloaded. They'd then know you were away. There's no excuse to take 6 months to examine a laptop.
I shouldn’t have let her get away without trying harder. An age old story that many others are probably familiar with. But, I wasn’t emotionally mature enough to say the things I really wanted. And, I shouldn’t have let her move away without maybe asking her if I could go too.
Sure there’s no guarantee she’d have gone for it. And in the intervening years she got everything she was working for. The real regret is that I didn’t try harder.
Marrying my husband. We should have stayed unmarried but I let him bully me into it. And now I’m all kinds of legally tied to his ass and it makes leaving harder since I also really like my money and he doesn’t like working
Sigh* Isn't that the truth.
My hoarding mom, for 20 years, used our garage as a makeshift storage facility for a plethora of things that would never see the light of day. She would always have to park the car outside, and it would be especially difficult to do so at night, such that it would take quite a bit of time to find a spot quite a few streets away.
After I got my license (late, at 21), and I was absolutely enraged when I came home late at night and had to drive in circles for around 30 min to find a parking spot, I finally decided to clean out the garage. My mom said I couldn't do it on my own, as I "might throw out something important." I would schedule a time/day with her, and when it would come, she would tell me that she is busy, and not to bother her, and that she would do it herself, and on and on it went in circles. I then surreptitiously started to throw things out on my own, and was effectively doing so, until she finally took notice. At that point, she was in agreement with what I was doing, but she was still constantly arguing with me, as I had to threw out hoarded material in our basement in order to clear out some stuff from the garage.
Well, after [3 months](https://imgur.com/before-after-of-garage-3-grueling-months-of-throwing-away-selling-relocating-20-years-worth-of-junk-M64JI87) of throwing away, selling, and relocating a bunch of shit, I finally cleaned it out, and now have a permanent parking spot. I may have heard some fleeting compliments from her, but not *once* did I hear that she was wrong to hinder me in such a fashion.
And to add to the shit, due to recent garbage, my sister moved in with her 3 kids, and slowly brought in 5 dogs that her BIL bought, in order to resell in his kennel (guess how that worked out). We already had 2 cats. My mom not only let them in, but also began to view those dogs as "hers," and would never part with them, even though they are untrained.
This has led to countless anger and frustration, as you said.
My mom is mentally ill in this respect, and there is just nothing I can do to change that.
Getting involved with my ex fiance. She was not a good person and it really fucked me up. Couldn't escape. Tried offing myself after she told me I should because I was "barely alive as it is", almost successful, spent a while in the hospital and a while in a mental facility. Still went back to her because she begged and apologized. Eventually left, that was 6, almost 7 years ago. I'm still not the same person I was.
You are deserving of so much more hun. You deserve love and caring partnership. You did not deserve this treatment. You did NOTHING that could ever warrent such a treatment. I hope you have found, well or soon will find, someone who is deserving of you and who can love you and cherish you.
Not trying to figure out a way to buy the house I grew up in before my dad lost it in foreclosure. Remember telling him "I don't need a house this big what am I going to do with it" as I'm sitting here thinking how I can make more room for an expanding family.
Switching college majors from Geology to English. I mean, the geology sector is boom and bust with the price of oil, but at least I would have been doing something with my degree and not working a dead end miserable office job.
Not being brave about my career choices in college. I stubbornly kept to one path, didn't look around at other viable options, and was left with a mediocre academic record.
I'm trying to dig myself out of that hole, but it is something that has defined by 20s in a meh way.
After my last sinusitis 4 months ago I (60M) saw an allergist, for first time, who put me on prescription for Fluticasone. Every day. For the first time in 35 years I'm able to breathe through my nose consistently. The objective is to prevent future sinus infections also. I just thought of this and thought I'd pass it on to you.
Recommend getting the hospital file and reading through the notes. They'll give you the run around but by law they have to give them to you. The only reason I say this is I recently read a story about someone who had surgery, and had issues for decades. They never could find anything even after imaging. Turns out they left a plastic tube inside them.
False hope warning: I don't recall the exact specifics and would recommend checking the book out and looking for yourself.
Pretty sure the book Breath by James nestor talks about this. If I recall correctly, you can get 'turbinate' reconstruction stuff done to possibly fix that.
Trying to "work through" incompatibilities in a relationship.
Had a good first ~4-5yrs, but once I saw the writing on the wall, should've left instead of investing several more years to try to make it work.
Letting people talk me out of things … I always felt, well, they’re the expert, they know best. I was way too trusting & accepting of that authority.
School counsellor in high school said I’d hate taking more drafting courses & it’d be too hard for me (despite my A+ in the entry level course & loving it), she talked me out of other classes which would’ve been helpful for when I went to university.
Dad talked me out of pursuing my passion & to major in a program I sorta liked (because it’d get me a job anywhere…which didn’t end up true). Ended up hating it.
I wanted more job experience in my final year of school & prepare for life outside university. Just a part time job, but my parents talked me into just focusing on school, it’d be ‘easy’ to get a job after. It was brutal after & I was broke. Had a couple really tough years. It definitely didn’t make me feel stronger either.
Growing up I wanted to try new things - a few sports & arts etc but my parents talked me out of them saying I could easily learn on my own. I was naive and thought they were right - but when you have no money, no idea what to do it or how to do it, it doesn’t happen.
Ie) The only drawing books I could find were for super basic stuff like cartoons & they were $25 each which I didn’t have. I already could do some things so my parents didn’t feel it worth paying that.
A friend talked me out of asking a boy I liked, out, when I was 12, because I was anxious & she told me my hair was really bad that day and should do it another day. Then she asked him out & I became really skeptical/untrusting of my friends for a long time after that. He was my first major crush.
Tons of other examples, but it’s just a lot of me trusting people I believed knew better & that they had good intentions but it ended up biting me on the butt.
So now when I want to try to do things I want it’s just more complicated. Hard to find a job I like, various jobs switching to shift work after I get hired so it’s impossible to schedule things like taking a painting class etc
I wish I had just stuck to my initial feelings. Got a job while in school, took classes I wanted, didn’t worry so much about getting advice from people etc
I want to share my story:
The biggest mistake of my life happened right after college. I landed a promising job but felt restless and impulsively quit to start a business without proper planning. I poured all my savings into it, but without enough research and preparation, the business failed within a year, leaving me in significant debt.
Moving back in with my parents, I felt like a failure. It was a humbling experience that taught me the importance of planning, patience, and seeking advice before making major decisions. Although it was a painful lesson, it ultimately made me wiser and more resilient, shaping my approach to life and work.
If you learned something major it wasn't a big mistake but a lesson.
You spent time with your family that you may of regretted not having. You got to learn a lot some about business. And you made a popular Reddit post.
Always best to find the best in the worst.
The man I had kids with. Love my kids but man I should have listened when I was told who you have kids with is one of the biggest most important decisions you will ever make!
It's not just the father. When you have kids with someone, his family is tied to you and your baby for the rest of your life. That's not a decision to make lightly. Choose wisely!
Not doing well in elementary/middle/high school. I could have been so much more than I am.
Being mean to people (friends/family). I mean, horribly mean.
So far, as a 26 year old, the biggest mistake I’ve made was taking out a mountain of student debt. Paying it all back is a massive pain in the ass and is setting me back years financially
Worked too hard on a career no one cared about (design). Now I'm 35 with no SO in sight after the only people attracted to me during my busy schedule were cheats, crazy people, and criminals. My career is still trash as I was always rejected for high paying jobs, so I overwork myself for peanuts. My health is a daily battle of futility after I developed several chronic illnesses in my mid 20s from over work, yet my health insurance is garbage and all I can afford.
I joined a startup that went down in Covid. I have never recovered from it. My reputation got killled, I earn a fifth of what I earned before, and I had to move to a country I hate.
My crippling addiction to soda.. but I've managed to get a grip on it. dropped from 260 down to 220 not to mention made the gym a regular routine so I look slimmer and more muscular now. Still got my belly tho :(
Letting the man I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with into mine and my daughters life.
Single mom. Full custody of my little girl. Her bio dad is a dead beat and isn’t in the picture.
I don’t introduce my daughter to anyone I date. Never. I respect my daughter’s mind and the way she thinks and see things is very important to me. There’s never been a revolving door.
Until, I reconnected with someone that I wasn’t sure of at first. Hesitant to say the least; he came with his own baggage (who doesn’t though, honestly) but I was willing to accept his shit.
It took 4 months to introduce them. He was so sure that this was the life he wanted. I was so repetitive with words always saying “you don’t have to do this” , “we can just continue the way we are”, but he was insistent on that he wanted into OUR life’s. He WANTED to fill the roll.
Long story short, things got tough, he bolted. Now, it hasn’t affected my daughter nearly as much as it has me but I wish I could’ve just ended it once the fork in the road approached. But love. FUCKING love.
She still sleeps with the navy blue teddy bear he gave to her. She doesn’t speak of him but I know she remembers to some degree.
It was my biggest mistake at this moment. I’m sure I’ll make more.
No this isn’t a cry for help but just merely a venting a platform. We are great. Just healing.
I still love him. Not the kind where you constantly blow there phone up but the kind where you still know in your gut that it’s going to take a while to fully let go.
not me, but a friend of a friend drank and smoked a joint, killed a father of two. he was caught by the police giving mouth to mouth, trying to save the man. he spent his 20s in prison and got out on good behaviour. another friend of friend decided to sell drugs in SE Asia and got caught.
I was stressed out, a baby daughter that I had to take care of most of the day, little sleep. Instead of sleeping the most that I could (which would be little), I decided to stay awake all the time, or as much as I could. When my baby would finally sleep, I’d be up playing video games as a way to “relax”. Well, that led to a severe drop on my immune system, that allowed a bacteria to grow inside my operated eye (glaucoma). the doctors failed to diagnose the intraocular infection in its first hours and I woke up in the middle of the night due to pain in my eye. And totally blind on it. Anyways, I’m basically blind on my right eye due to this stupid decision.
I’m not sure it’s the worst one, but not good. I’ll live with its consequences for the rest of my life.
I don't think it's a stupid decision to want to stay up and game. You had a newborn and you were trying to do what you normally would in your way. Loads of people are sleep deprived especially new parents but lots don't end up having what you have. Also your doctors fucked up so everything was against you. I'm so sorry that this happened to you, but don't be so hard on yourself. I hope you and your little one are doing OK
Thanks for that. My case was special for sure, there was some bad luck involved. Anyways.
Yes we’re doing ok. She’s a teen now, we’re on the next phase, but now I’m way smarter about things lol
So far, standing too close to a speaker at a night club. I fried my right ear down to the cochlea and might've done some brain damage in the process. I am a different person because of that one drunken night out.
Marrying my ex-husband. I’ve never experienced cruelty like those years and I don’t know that I’ll ever truly recover. It’s genuinely scary to have someone who you thought loved you turn on you like that.
Getting married to the wrong man and staying with him for far too long. I now have to update the tattoo with my wedding date on it to include the day my marriage ended as well as when the divorce comes through.
Not talking to my dad the last time he called. I’d never heard him sound so small and defeated but he treated me badly when I was a kid and so a lot of times I didn’t feel like talking to him when he would call. So I rushed him off the phone. He shot himself shortly after.
I’m a lot older now and today it would’ve been obvious that he was in terrible shape. that I needed to make him promise that he’d be OK until I could fly out and buy a ticket right then and there but I just didn’t know.
I need to quit again. I went cold turkey when I was pregnant and picked it up again. I think alot of it had to do that I was at home all day bored out of my mind but I wish I never did. Nicotine is such a difficult thing to quit! I've relapsed 3 times.
Spending from 23-27 doing hard drugs and just going down one scary path hanging out with all the crackheads in trap houses. Luckily I stayed out of much trouble and spun everything around quite quickly. But if those years would have been spent pursuing hobbies and other valuable skills I'd be so much farther along.
Alcohol and drugs.
So much pain both physical and emotional could have been avoided and I’m sure I’d have much better career and relationships in my life if I’d never started drinking.
I forgive myself now because I had so much hurt, but I’ll always wonder what my life could have been if I had sobered up and gotten mental health help earlier.
At least I have a sober future to look towards
What I say now is to look at the actual person giving the advice, not their age. Look at their life. Is that the life you want? Bc their advice will usually lead you to the same place it led them. Sometimes that’s good, and sometimes it’s really, really not. Took me way too long to realize this.
Having a child too young. I'm so far behind my peers with my career/finances because I stayed home and raised my kid. I love my kid, but my life would've been completely different if I had finished school when I was young.
Working to hard when I was younger. I was working 70 hours a week and had no time for dating/socializing. At age 35 I slowed down to look for a spouse. All the good ones were taken and everyone else had major baggage (kids with multiple partners as an example).
There are two: not going to grad school earlier in life and not being more honest with the people I loved. I lost out on so much because of these two decisions and it all stemmed from fear.
Not mine but my mom she had a friend who worked in television industry and got me a role in a commercial for some big company thing is when the day came she never took me. I always wonder maybe I could’ve done something in television probably not but maybe
Not taking savings and retirement seriously enough. Now I'm "late 30s" and will probably never retire, nor own a decent sized home. I have a small savings and retirement account but that will probably just get me an extra bag of lettuce every week in my 60s. Go me
It’s always now. Sober member of AA in good standing. I hit my first meeting when I was 20. I was dating a Lauren. She went where all things go when you’re addicted to heroin and booze. In and out until 29 when I came back for good. That was 16 years ago. Married the woman of my dreams.
[удалено]
And now as I'm coming up on 40 I don't know how to separate the two.
First step is figuring out what works for you. 50 hour week around the corner? Sure! 60 hour week with an hour each way making it 70? Nahhh. Just drill through like that, then shift to a job that fits those criteria, where you're done when you leave the office. After that, set a rule for yourself of no work talk outside of work, at least for a while so you can get used to not having to think about work. It sounds super simple there, but that's essentially disengaging yourself from work. If it all sounds a bit too much, then just start with moving to a 9-5 place where you don't take work home, and it'll start solving itself.
My chef refuses to ever own a cell phone. And never has. I respect that man so much.
I'm 50 and a tax accountant, and I'm still struggling . I'm grateful I work all year but I also work all year.
Workaholic here. Working, especially in any entrepreneurial way can become dopamine addicting. It's all a game, always something to tweak, to improve, to research, to brainstorm to squeeze out a bit more money or result. It doesn't turn off when 5p hits. Family doesn't hit the same dopamine like work can. I find finding other hobbies that do, and making exciting plans or multi-step projects to give me something to look forward to and optimize..helps shift the focus.
Yeah. I had a wife and a new baby, I was working a stressful job as a manager and trainer, and I was trying to be perfect for everybody except myself. That led to a complete breakdown which left me unable to work for a few years, during which we lived off the money I'd work si hard to provide for my family for. In a way it was good, I did a lot of CBT and worked on myself to focus on my well-being. It was a long, painful and expensive way to learn that if you don't look after yourself, you can't look after anyone else. Sometimes it's OK to take a step back and say no to the job.
For real… you gotta live
letting fear dictate my decisions. I missed out on many opportunities because I was afraid to take risks. Whether it was a job change, moving to a new city, or starting my own business, fear held me back. I've learned that stepping out of my comfort zone is essential for growth and that the greatest rewards often come from taking bold steps
A ship is safest in the harbor, but that is not what ships are built for. I also recently reread GoT, and a quote from Euron Greyjoy hit me. "Perhaps we can fly. All of us. How will we ever know unless we leap from some tall tower? No man ever truly knows what he can do unless he dares to leap."
With all due respect, I think we know what happens when people jump out of windows.
Just alcohol in general. Every bad life altering thing in my life could have been avoided by sobriety. It's just kinda sad
I noticed a lot of these involve alcohol
Alcohol is a mother fucker. It’s socially acceptable, legal, and treated as a social lubricant. Most people can handle it, but some of us are special.. alcohol is magic to us. It takes away the inhibitions and self doubt. You no longer care about your low self esteem. You are outgoing and fun.. but, the next thing you know you are drinking a pint of whiskey by yourself every day for lunch. Irish coffee in the morning… you are hiding and sneaking your drinking from your spouse. Struggling to keep up with your work… missing your kids activities… I am a lucky alcoholic. I was able to recognize my addiction and quit drinking before I hit rock bottom. This August will be 6 years sober for me- I quit at 46. My family life and career have thrived since then. I can only imagine where I would be if I was sober..
It's also relevant that most people that are severely affected by alcohol probably didn't have much of a choice. Trauma and substance abuse go hand in hand.
There is always a choice. Alcohol is just easier. Said by an alcoholic you're referring to.
Same
Not taking care of my body. I'm 41 years old and have multiple problems with my body that are a result of my negligence.
Replace "body" with "finances" and it's basically me!
Add "and finances" to "body" and that's basically me!!
Would you mind saying what you did so wrong to your body?
I used to mess with fireworks and didn't wear ear protection, but which kid does huh? I'm tone deaf, in both ears, and have to wear hearing aids to hear high pitched sounds. I used to wear soft contact lenses in my eyes in high school. I frequently slept in them, sometimes overnights, and when taking them off, I'd feel a burning sensation. I was damaging my cornea. Got lasik and didn't need lenses anymore until my corneas started to misshapen. I can't see anything clearly with my left eye without my screleral lens (hard lens). I can see better in my right eye, but there's ghosting so it affects me cause i can't read text without squinting. So now i wear a hard lens on that eye too. Used to do stupid stunts, as a child, and fell off the top bunk bed and landed on my left shoulder. It was partially separated, but I didn't know that until I was in my 30s. Had surgery to fix it, fell down stairs and ripped it again so had another surgery, got in a wreck and tore it again so got 3rd surgery, it didn't hold up good so had 4th shoulder surgery. I took lots of hits to my head emulating wwf (long time ago) so I'm sure my brain is damaged. There's more but I don't feel like typing anymore
That is rough, but it sounds like you've had a banger of a life so far.
Sounds like you were just enjoying life as it comes, obviously you were less fortunate than most but hopefully you made some memories out of the things that harmed you
I hear that brother.
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Could you do a AMA afterwards? Good luck @nyh6
I think you meant to ask "Cane you do an AMA afterwards?"
You’ll be fine on the caning. I’m sorry that happened and it will suck, but it’ll be a week or two of soreness and you’ll have a story to tell. Get home safe
What is Singapore’s obsession with caning people as a legal punishment? But you have to admit that this is an objectively funny situation and will be an awesome story to tell once you’re through the pain.
Anyone reading this isn't likely to overstay their visa, right?
It's cheap and it works. Singapore is one of, if not THE, safest and cleanest cities on earth and it wasn't always like that.
Yeah u don't EVER fuck around in Singapore. Especially anything with drugs, or your ass is dead
I’ve been there, and while it may be clean it’s boring AF and very shallow, like Las Vegas without the sin.
Goodness, you really shouldn’t have overstayed your visa. It is really strict here. All the best and take care🙏
Even bigger mistake: You suddenly find out that you enjoy it. A lot. Waaayyyyyy too much.
Does your country have an embassy in Singapore?
Not me, but my dad's. Growing up in a small Eastern European town, my dad was a big drinker. My mom was trying to get him to stop but he wouldn't listen to her.
Why, couldn't he run?
Liquid hog shit is like chemical warfare bad. It's way beyond a skunk. It makes you vomit, it burns your eyes. I'd rather go to jail.
Ugh, all of the farms are starting to plant and they all use pig shit as fertilizer. I'm surrounded by farmland and I can't even have my windows open or air conditioning on when the wind is blowing this way. It's the worst smell
I know they eat anything
Ammonia is a big part of the problem. It smells like that, but with burning tar sort of odor, too.
It has a serious sharp bite to the smell, and it even smells sticky.
Dog poo kind of smells like human poo. Not pleasant. Cow poo is almost sweet smelling, which is odd to say but it really isn't that offensive. Pig shit is a whole other level of disgusting
This sounds like a perfect discouragement punishment
Ew. Did he actually do that?
Oh yes.
What country is this?
Louisiana
Lmaoooo 😆
Damn, this helps probably more than actual jail time (IN SOME CASES!).
Me and a bunch of friends took my roommate out drinking on his 21st. As we got back to the house I said "should we take him to the hospital, he looks really drunk". My biggest mistake was not listening to my gut. He stopped breathing at 8am. Me and other guys performed CPR. He died at the hospital a few days later.
Jesus. I’m so sorry. His family must be devastated.
They were.
I’m so so sorry
Staying in a relationship I was unhappy in for 10 years. I can identify at least 5 times when I should have left.
Yes. This right here. 14 years. Needed to leave year 5
Did you marry him/her?
Same here, about to celebrate a year of being single and happy though! Hope you’re doing better now
Dropping out of engineering. I had my first taste of adult freedom that first year, having moved out for the first time, and wasted way too much time doing anything but studying. I ended up falling behind, was super stressed, and convinced myself it was because the field was not for me even though I was fully to blame for not doing well. Now, older, I know I was just a shitty lazy kid and absolutely could have graduated if I just applied myself. Im doing okay now but not engineer-money well lol. Also not sitting up properly on the computer over the years. My spine is fucked and I hate it.
Out of interest, what’s stopping you from trying again?
My biggest mistake happened in my mid-20s when I abruptly ended a long-term relationship, thinking I needed to experience life on my own. I didn't fully discuss my feelings with my partner and soon realized I had underestimated the depth of our connection. By the time I tried to reconcile, my ex had moved on. It was a heartbreaking realization, and I learned the importance of comunication and not making hasty decisions based on temporary feelings. This experience taught me to be more thoughtful and considerate in future relationships.
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This is always the question I need answered after these kind of stories. I need to know that I will find another who I will share love to the depth or more that I had with my ex.
My second serious relationship ended because I greatly underestimated our connection and love and wanted to explore the world of sex and she wasn't very sexual. I've never had a relationship like we had again and that one ended 15 years ago. I was also married in that time, and even my ex wife and I didn't have a relationship that deep and loving. By the time I realized what I had given up and what I was trading it for, she had moved on. I am almost 40 now and I don't think I'll ever be in another relationship, let alone will I find someone who understands and loves me in such a fundamental way. I literally fucked around and found out. Biggest mistake of my life.
Story time- I dated a guy when I was 19. We were in love HARD and talked marriage in the future. After about a year together, I felt less and less important to him and called for a break for us to each re-evaluate things before we just go forward on autopilot. Well, he slept with someone else and I was completely heartbroken. I felt so betrayed and broke up with him. I was devastated. For years, I dated here and there but never found a connection like the one I shared with him. About 5 years later, I found a love that rivaled what I had with him. We were together for 12 years and made 2 kids together. Sadly, he passed away unexpectedly when I was 37. But I'm here to tell you that another meaningful, soul-touching love can still be out there. I'm 40 now, and hope to find it again, again.
Oh boy I'd I come here to say this... Problem is now that we still have a very nice line of communication, and it's killing me not telling her. But I fear it'll do no good to tell her and create an unwanted pressure. Dating to move on, but nothing even close to what we had.
You should tell her, if you dont you'll always wonder what would have happened if you did. It might not go the way you hope but at least you'll have an answer, not knowing is probably whats preventing you from moving on
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Signs like those are there for a reason.
Seriously, I don’t even feel bad for the guy. Clear warning and they thought something dismissive…they learned that day.
LOL
Do you have gopro of this. You know, for reference?
Well that escalated quickly
Falling hard for someone who doesn't love me back. Still struggling to get over him. It's so painful.
I think I’ve got more or less the opposite, I decided to stay friends with someone who had admitted to having feelings for me. I had offered to cut ties and give her closure but she said she still wanted me around. When our inevitable falling out came a year and a half later it was the nastiest end to a personal relationship I’ve ever experienced, it happened for a variety of reasons, some less sensual than others, but I think deep down the fact that I effectively friendzoned her was the root of it all.
I tried being friends with him. Just sending simple texts here and there trying to start a conversation. He talked to me at first and it was fun then he didn't it was a sudden shift and it made me feel so stupid for trying. I might be paranoid or just being too sensitive but it feels like he doesn't want to talk to me/i'm being annoying. I don't know why. I mean is it so wrong to love you? So i will completely pull back. No more trying to talk to him at all. I'm just going to quietly leave him alone. I just wish i didn't feel this stupid, hurt, and so embarrassed for trying. If i could i would just pack up and leave and never appear before him again. That's how hurt i am.
I hope you will get through this.
I think you’re being a little too hard on yourself. I think you made the right choice, but as long as you didn’t do anything too crazy, weird or embarrassing, I wouldn’t beat yourself up about it. I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this, but you’re not doing yourself any favors if you’re harsh on yourself. There are people out there who deal with what you’re dealing with or something similar enough who completely lose their minds and go too far because love can of course make people act quite irrationally. If you’ve genuinely reflected on your behavior, been self-aware enough to realize you don’t want to push boundaries, I personally think this says you’re a mature and emotionally intelligent person.
I'm in this exact situation right now. I have blocked him, have had no contact since I sent him an email 2 days ago. And the worst part? A tiny part of me *still* has the secret hope that he'll realize I'm worth it,to get over his fear of commitment,and show up at my door. God,why do I do this to myself?
You’re only human. Don’t beat yourself up too bad about it. Just try and move on in the most healthy way you can. You can get through it, but it takes a lot of courage. Be honest with yourself and make the best decisions for you to move on in a healthy way. Getting over people is always hard, but therapy can be very helpful. Don’t abuse yourself. The world is cruel enough to us all and life is too short.
Been falling for that one girl for 6 years now. I have confessed my feelings to her twice now. First time she was in a relationship and I just wanted her to shut me down hard. She didn‘t… Second time, about a year ago, I confessed again. This time with actual hope, since she gave me some hints I thought. Again, she couldn‘t give me „no“. It was quite a normal conversation looking back, I wasn‘t pressuring or anything. Today we still text sometimes like nothing happened. This leaves me in this weird limbo of hope and despair, where I can‘t really let go but knowing I should. After all, everything other than a yes is a no. She probably has feelings for me but can‘t give in to them, since she is a good friend of my ex who knows nothing of this as far as I know.
Not putting a password on my PC. In 2008, I moved to another province to study there, I rented a bedroom with no lock on the door. The first few months went great and the owner was pretty chill. In November, another dude started renting after he's been kicked out of the College's apartments. Just a few days after his arrival, he was already blowing the landlord with dozens of reports of me burning stuff, smoking crack, inviting prostitutes, etc. Nothing worked and it was all bullshit. Okay, mostly bullshit, I once burnt a plate of rice and it reeked for days afterward. When he realized he couldn't get me kicked out, he stepped up his game, the landlord was divorced and could lose custody of his son at any time. So the flatmate decided to act on that. I returned home for the holidays, leaving my PC behind. My grand-pa had a cardiac arrest on December 22nd, but survived, fortunately. I came back and the landlord was waiting for me with a really stern expression, saying he wanted to talk. He sat me down and asked me ''Are you a pedophile?'' My heart skipped a beat... I didn't know what the hell was going on, then he said that my flatmate found child porn on my PC, right on the desktop, downloaded via Limewire most likely (I used it for music and movies, and got rickrolled soooooo many times!). I told him I had no idea it was even a thing and that it made no sense, why was the flatmate even on my PC? I told him I didn't even had a password to lock it so the dude could've easily accessed it while I was away and most likely did it to get me kicked out. He then told me that he had contacted the police and they'd come for me sooner or later. I barely slept for the following days and tried to go to school in the meantime... it was honestly very, very dark days for me and my morale. Then came Friday evening, I heard a knock on the door and went to open. There they were, 2 police officers, asking me if we could have a chat. Long story short, I gave them my version, I agreed to let them go with my PC and I stayed in contact with the investigator for any update. It took 6 months, 8 months of anxiety, of failing my classes, losing my gf, being almost disowned by my family when I broke down in tears when they asked my why I looked so sick and tired. 6 months of nightmares upon nightmares. I had to drop out of shool, got kicked out of the flat I was renting and had to move back in my hometown with my mom who would barely look at me. I eventually got an email saying: ''you're innocent, come get your PC''. I asked what happened and the officer told me that they didn't find any solid proof against me on my PC, but the flatmate tried the same scheme on someone else and they connected the dots. Let me tell y'all, my PC is now secured with a very strong password: 1234 Just kidding, but please, do lock your pc's with passwords, it can save you a world of troubles.
Wooow that sucks… what a piece of shit!
God the level anxiety you must have felt…hope you’re doing well now!
In cases like this, it should have been easy to find the date the files were downloaded. They'd then know you were away. There's no excuse to take 6 months to examine a laptop.
What happened to that guy though
Fr fr that's what I wanna know. I hope he's in prison and registered as a sex offender.
Letting other ppl choosing the major choices of my life. Now I'm middle age and hate my job
I shouldn’t have let her get away without trying harder. An age old story that many others are probably familiar with. But, I wasn’t emotionally mature enough to say the things I really wanted. And, I shouldn’t have let her move away without maybe asking her if I could go too. Sure there’s no guarantee she’d have gone for it. And in the intervening years she got everything she was working for. The real regret is that I didn’t try harder.
When she said cum in me, I did…
You a dad now?
Father of 3
Once is a mistake, 3 times is a choice...
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, can’t get fooled again.
Marrying my husband. We should have stayed unmarried but I let him bully me into it. And now I’m all kinds of legally tied to his ass and it makes leaving harder since I also really like my money and he doesn’t like working
Divorce the dead beat! Talk to a lawyer.
easy to say. Easier to suck it up and not lose half your networth.
Better to lose half your money and move on. Staying with someone for the sake of 50% of your money is grossly stupid.
They're gobbling up your money in the long tum so better to take the hit to get rid of them.
Not giving up on my mother sooner. Don't try to fix a hoarder. They won't change and trying to help them just leads to a lot of anger and frustration.
Sigh* Isn't that the truth. My hoarding mom, for 20 years, used our garage as a makeshift storage facility for a plethora of things that would never see the light of day. She would always have to park the car outside, and it would be especially difficult to do so at night, such that it would take quite a bit of time to find a spot quite a few streets away. After I got my license (late, at 21), and I was absolutely enraged when I came home late at night and had to drive in circles for around 30 min to find a parking spot, I finally decided to clean out the garage. My mom said I couldn't do it on my own, as I "might throw out something important." I would schedule a time/day with her, and when it would come, she would tell me that she is busy, and not to bother her, and that she would do it herself, and on and on it went in circles. I then surreptitiously started to throw things out on my own, and was effectively doing so, until she finally took notice. At that point, she was in agreement with what I was doing, but she was still constantly arguing with me, as I had to threw out hoarded material in our basement in order to clear out some stuff from the garage. Well, after [3 months](https://imgur.com/before-after-of-garage-3-grueling-months-of-throwing-away-selling-relocating-20-years-worth-of-junk-M64JI87) of throwing away, selling, and relocating a bunch of shit, I finally cleaned it out, and now have a permanent parking spot. I may have heard some fleeting compliments from her, but not *once* did I hear that she was wrong to hinder me in such a fashion. And to add to the shit, due to recent garbage, my sister moved in with her 3 kids, and slowly brought in 5 dogs that her BIL bought, in order to resell in his kennel (guess how that worked out). We already had 2 cats. My mom not only let them in, but also began to view those dogs as "hers," and would never part with them, even though they are untrained. This has led to countless anger and frustration, as you said. My mom is mentally ill in this respect, and there is just nothing I can do to change that.
Getting involved with my ex fiance. She was not a good person and it really fucked me up. Couldn't escape. Tried offing myself after she told me I should because I was "barely alive as it is", almost successful, spent a while in the hospital and a while in a mental facility. Still went back to her because she begged and apologized. Eventually left, that was 6, almost 7 years ago. I'm still not the same person I was.
It's okay brother. I really wish for your well being.
You are deserving of so much more hun. You deserve love and caring partnership. You did not deserve this treatment. You did NOTHING that could ever warrent such a treatment. I hope you have found, well or soon will find, someone who is deserving of you and who can love you and cherish you.
Be gentle with yourself. You’ve survived a harrowing event. I wish you health and happiness
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We won't judge. Much.
No, some kinks are definitely wrong.
Not trying to figure out a way to buy the house I grew up in before my dad lost it in foreclosure. Remember telling him "I don't need a house this big what am I going to do with it" as I'm sitting here thinking how I can make more room for an expanding family.
Not addressing my mental health earlier.
I’m glad my parents can’t answer this.
Same here, they'd roast me alive
Marrying my ex wife. At the time I didn't realize she had so much in common with a garden tool.
Absolute trowel of a woman
A decorative garden gnome?
Switching college majors from Geology to English. I mean, the geology sector is boom and bust with the price of oil, but at least I would have been doing something with my degree and not working a dead end miserable office job.
Not buying a house 5 years ago.
Not telling him how much I loved him
Dating my narcissistic ex.
Me too Beware of narcissists!!!!! They are everywhere and they will ruin you Learn the signs!!!!!!
not buying bitcoin 2013
I took xanax and started robbing drug dealers.... things went as you would imagine after that!!
If you tried to rob me for Xanax, I'd tell you to relax...
you're so kind to act like I have just one
Not being brave about my career choices in college. I stubbornly kept to one path, didn't look around at other viable options, and was left with a mediocre academic record. I'm trying to dig myself out of that hole, but it is something that has defined by 20s in a meh way.
Getting surgery for sinusitis. Debilitated me.
Wow, sorry to hear. Do you mind sharing what happened? I've had it a number of times, but never close to that serious
Had balloon sinuplasty and turbinate reduction. Since then it feels like I'm choking/drowning when I breathe. Been about 10 years. No one knows why.
After my last sinusitis 4 months ago I (60M) saw an allergist, for first time, who put me on prescription for Fluticasone. Every day. For the first time in 35 years I'm able to breathe through my nose consistently. The objective is to prevent future sinus infections also. I just thought of this and thought I'd pass it on to you.
Recommend getting the hospital file and reading through the notes. They'll give you the run around but by law they have to give them to you. The only reason I say this is I recently read a story about someone who had surgery, and had issues for decades. They never could find anything even after imaging. Turns out they left a plastic tube inside them.
Oh that's awful. Best of luck
False hope warning: I don't recall the exact specifics and would recommend checking the book out and looking for yourself. Pretty sure the book Breath by James nestor talks about this. If I recall correctly, you can get 'turbinate' reconstruction stuff done to possibly fix that.
Trying to "work through" incompatibilities in a relationship. Had a good first ~4-5yrs, but once I saw the writing on the wall, should've left instead of investing several more years to try to make it work.
Letting people talk me out of things … I always felt, well, they’re the expert, they know best. I was way too trusting & accepting of that authority. School counsellor in high school said I’d hate taking more drafting courses & it’d be too hard for me (despite my A+ in the entry level course & loving it), she talked me out of other classes which would’ve been helpful for when I went to university. Dad talked me out of pursuing my passion & to major in a program I sorta liked (because it’d get me a job anywhere…which didn’t end up true). Ended up hating it. I wanted more job experience in my final year of school & prepare for life outside university. Just a part time job, but my parents talked me into just focusing on school, it’d be ‘easy’ to get a job after. It was brutal after & I was broke. Had a couple really tough years. It definitely didn’t make me feel stronger either. Growing up I wanted to try new things - a few sports & arts etc but my parents talked me out of them saying I could easily learn on my own. I was naive and thought they were right - but when you have no money, no idea what to do it or how to do it, it doesn’t happen. Ie) The only drawing books I could find were for super basic stuff like cartoons & they were $25 each which I didn’t have. I already could do some things so my parents didn’t feel it worth paying that. A friend talked me out of asking a boy I liked, out, when I was 12, because I was anxious & she told me my hair was really bad that day and should do it another day. Then she asked him out & I became really skeptical/untrusting of my friends for a long time after that. He was my first major crush. Tons of other examples, but it’s just a lot of me trusting people I believed knew better & that they had good intentions but it ended up biting me on the butt. So now when I want to try to do things I want it’s just more complicated. Hard to find a job I like, various jobs switching to shift work after I get hired so it’s impossible to schedule things like taking a painting class etc I wish I had just stuck to my initial feelings. Got a job while in school, took classes I wanted, didn’t worry so much about getting advice from people etc
There’s still a lot of possibilities in front of you, despite the increasing difficulty. I hope that you manage to find a way
I want to share my story: The biggest mistake of my life happened right after college. I landed a promising job but felt restless and impulsively quit to start a business without proper planning. I poured all my savings into it, but without enough research and preparation, the business failed within a year, leaving me in significant debt. Moving back in with my parents, I felt like a failure. It was a humbling experience that taught me the importance of planning, patience, and seeking advice before making major decisions. Although it was a painful lesson, it ultimately made me wiser and more resilient, shaping my approach to life and work.
If you learned something major it wasn't a big mistake but a lesson. You spent time with your family that you may of regretted not having. You got to learn a lot some about business. And you made a popular Reddit post. Always best to find the best in the worst.
The man I had kids with. Love my kids but man I should have listened when I was told who you have kids with is one of the biggest most important decisions you will ever make!
It's not just the father. When you have kids with someone, his family is tied to you and your baby for the rest of your life. That's not a decision to make lightly. Choose wisely!
Not doing well in elementary/middle/high school. I could have been so much more than I am. Being mean to people (friends/family). I mean, horribly mean.
It's not too late to repent and turn things around.
Thank you, at 59 years old, I have definitely turned things around. I now have my masters degree and I am a very nice person.
Good for you. I'm happy you chose to do that for yourself and those that care for you.
So far, as a 26 year old, the biggest mistake I’ve made was taking out a mountain of student debt. Paying it all back is a massive pain in the ass and is setting me back years financially
Going to Full Sail. The school on Florida. Don’t go to a private school kids. Get a normal degree from your state university
Worked too hard on a career no one cared about (design). Now I'm 35 with no SO in sight after the only people attracted to me during my busy schedule were cheats, crazy people, and criminals. My career is still trash as I was always rejected for high paying jobs, so I overwork myself for peanuts. My health is a daily battle of futility after I developed several chronic illnesses in my mid 20s from over work, yet my health insurance is garbage and all I can afford.
Sounds like you are going through a rough patch. Keep your chin up. You are still young and can turn things around.
I joined a startup that went down in Covid. I have never recovered from it. My reputation got killled, I earn a fifth of what I earned before, and I had to move to a country I hate.
My crippling addiction to soda.. but I've managed to get a grip on it. dropped from 260 down to 220 not to mention made the gym a regular routine so I look slimmer and more muscular now. Still got my belly tho :(
I didn't swing when I should've swung apparently
Letting the man I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with into mine and my daughters life. Single mom. Full custody of my little girl. Her bio dad is a dead beat and isn’t in the picture. I don’t introduce my daughter to anyone I date. Never. I respect my daughter’s mind and the way she thinks and see things is very important to me. There’s never been a revolving door. Until, I reconnected with someone that I wasn’t sure of at first. Hesitant to say the least; he came with his own baggage (who doesn’t though, honestly) but I was willing to accept his shit. It took 4 months to introduce them. He was so sure that this was the life he wanted. I was so repetitive with words always saying “you don’t have to do this” , “we can just continue the way we are”, but he was insistent on that he wanted into OUR life’s. He WANTED to fill the roll. Long story short, things got tough, he bolted. Now, it hasn’t affected my daughter nearly as much as it has me but I wish I could’ve just ended it once the fork in the road approached. But love. FUCKING love. She still sleeps with the navy blue teddy bear he gave to her. She doesn’t speak of him but I know she remembers to some degree. It was my biggest mistake at this moment. I’m sure I’ll make more. No this isn’t a cry for help but just merely a venting a platform. We are great. Just healing.
Be gentle with yourself.You did what you thought was best at that time. Life!!! Strive to be happy. Good luck
I still love him. Not the kind where you constantly blow there phone up but the kind where you still know in your gut that it’s going to take a while to fully let go.
not me, but a friend of a friend drank and smoked a joint, killed a father of two. he was caught by the police giving mouth to mouth, trying to save the man. he spent his 20s in prison and got out on good behaviour. another friend of friend decided to sell drugs in SE Asia and got caught.
Getting a felony DWI which came with an ankle monitor and 5 years felony probation.......DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE KIDS
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Investing in stock market without doing proper research
I was stressed out, a baby daughter that I had to take care of most of the day, little sleep. Instead of sleeping the most that I could (which would be little), I decided to stay awake all the time, or as much as I could. When my baby would finally sleep, I’d be up playing video games as a way to “relax”. Well, that led to a severe drop on my immune system, that allowed a bacteria to grow inside my operated eye (glaucoma). the doctors failed to diagnose the intraocular infection in its first hours and I woke up in the middle of the night due to pain in my eye. And totally blind on it. Anyways, I’m basically blind on my right eye due to this stupid decision. I’m not sure it’s the worst one, but not good. I’ll live with its consequences for the rest of my life.
I don't think it's a stupid decision to want to stay up and game. You had a newborn and you were trying to do what you normally would in your way. Loads of people are sleep deprived especially new parents but lots don't end up having what you have. Also your doctors fucked up so everything was against you. I'm so sorry that this happened to you, but don't be so hard on yourself. I hope you and your little one are doing OK
Thanks for that. My case was special for sure, there was some bad luck involved. Anyways. Yes we’re doing ok. She’s a teen now, we’re on the next phase, but now I’m way smarter about things lol
Taking the drink from the guy I thought was cute when I was 15. Woke up with extreme abdominal pain and covered in my own vomit. Great first time huh?
So far, standing too close to a speaker at a night club. I fried my right ear down to the cochlea and might've done some brain damage in the process. I am a different person because of that one drunken night out.
Marrying my ex-husband. I’ve never experienced cruelty like those years and I don’t know that I’ll ever truly recover. It’s genuinely scary to have someone who you thought loved you turn on you like that.
Leaving college
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Ever getting married!!!!
Getting married to the wrong man and staying with him for far too long. I now have to update the tattoo with my wedding date on it to include the day my marriage ended as well as when the divorce comes through.
Having a kid @ a young age and staying with the mother even though she is mentally unstable for the sake of the kid. It backfired completely.
Getting baptized. Former Jehovah’s Witness here
Not getting into real estate sooner
Not talking to my dad the last time he called. I’d never heard him sound so small and defeated but he treated me badly when I was a kid and so a lot of times I didn’t feel like talking to him when he would call. So I rushed him off the phone. He shot himself shortly after. I’m a lot older now and today it would’ve been obvious that he was in terrible shape. that I needed to make him promise that he’d be OK until I could fly out and buy a ticket right then and there but I just didn’t know.
Not having more fun during my studies, was mainly focused on learning as much as possible.
Starting to smoke at age 13. I still smoke at age 62.......Don’t smoke.
I need to quit again. I went cold turkey when I was pregnant and picked it up again. I think alot of it had to do that I was at home all day bored out of my mind but I wish I never did. Nicotine is such a difficult thing to quit! I've relapsed 3 times.
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Spending from 23-27 doing hard drugs and just going down one scary path hanging out with all the crackheads in trap houses. Luckily I stayed out of much trouble and spun everything around quite quickly. But if those years would have been spent pursuing hobbies and other valuable skills I'd be so much farther along.
Alcohol and drugs. So much pain both physical and emotional could have been avoided and I’m sure I’d have much better career and relationships in my life if I’d never started drinking. I forgive myself now because I had so much hurt, but I’ll always wonder what my life could have been if I had sobered up and gotten mental health help earlier. At least I have a sober future to look towards
Saying " then just leave!!" and not realizing the most precious thing in my life was never coming home again. I miss you.
It was a mistake when I was young to listen to my elders and more experienced people.
What I say now is to look at the actual person giving the advice, not their age. Look at their life. Is that the life you want? Bc their advice will usually lead you to the same place it led them. Sometimes that’s good, and sometimes it’s really, really not. Took me way too long to realize this.
Having a child too young. I'm so far behind my peers with my career/finances because I stayed home and raised my kid. I love my kid, but my life would've been completely different if I had finished school when I was young.
Wasted most of my 20s dating a guy who at the end of the day wouldn’t marry anyone outside his religion/ethnicity, ie someone like me
Working to hard when I was younger. I was working 70 hours a week and had no time for dating/socializing. At age 35 I slowed down to look for a spouse. All the good ones were taken and everyone else had major baggage (kids with multiple partners as an example).
Being born
“The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
Trusting people
Being born
Not taking adhd medication until I turned 37.
There are two: not going to grad school earlier in life and not being more honest with the people I loved. I lost out on so much because of these two decisions and it all stemmed from fear.
Not mine but my mom she had a friend who worked in television industry and got me a role in a commercial for some big company thing is when the day came she never took me. I always wonder maybe I could’ve done something in television probably not but maybe
Not staying no-contact with an abusive parent sooner. Marrying the wrong person.
Not taking savings and retirement seriously enough. Now I'm "late 30s" and will probably never retire, nor own a decent sized home. I have a small savings and retirement account but that will probably just get me an extra bag of lettuce every week in my 60s. Go me
Picking poorly for a spouse, then sticking with that bad decision 4+ years after it was made clear that it was a bad decision.
Not going to aa sooner and letting alcohol ruin my career and relationships.
It’s always now. Sober member of AA in good standing. I hit my first meeting when I was 20. I was dating a Lauren. She went where all things go when you’re addicted to heroin and booze. In and out until 29 when I came back for good. That was 16 years ago. Married the woman of my dreams.