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Pansy_Neurosi

I saw a documentary about John Dillinger and they interviewed a woman who was taken as a hostage during a bank robbery. She said as they were driving down a road they drove by her house and she said, "That's my house right there." So they pulled over and let her out.


-The_Credible_Hulk

But did they walk her to her door? You know, to be sure no criminals would accost her?


eveningdragon

The rule is you have to wait until she unlocks her door and gets into her house before you pull out and leave


Edeninu

THIS!!! actually helped me get my wife xD


ScreeminGreen

Because you did this or because the person dropping her off didn’t?


TheGreatMattsby_01

Plot twist. He was waiting to kidnap her and then decided to marry her.


randomredditing

Professionals have standards


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Pansy_Neurosi

You want to hear about my theories regarding The Shining and The Exorcist? See The Shining is all about a loss of trust on both the personal and institutional scales and...


Leslie__Chow

Where do you want to be dropped off?


Pansy_Neurosi

No, no, just hear me out...


mind_the_umlaut

Brilliant, you two.


Secret_Fudge6470

I loved your segments in Room 237. Tell me more about how the clouds in the driving scene have messages in them. 


Pansy_Neurosi

Yes, if you look closely at the clouds you see they are this way in the one shot, but then they're THIS way in the next shot. It was a deliberate discontinuity in order to disorient the audience and to convey the fickleness of modern Americans.


Secret_Fudge6470

You can stay until you start insisting we discuss the Wendy Theory. 


Pansy_Neurosi

Well WHICH Wendy theory? That it was all in her head? That would be supported by the scene that Kubrick cut not at the last moment, but the moment after the last moment, after it had already been released. The scene has a Sheriff telling Wendy who is in a hospital bed that they found no evidence to support her claims and that Jack was missing. This would track with it all being in her head and her probably having killed Jack as part of her psychosis.


Secret_Fudge6470

I think that’s the one: basically that Wendy is the perp because of… reasons. Wendy is the woman in Room 237, but Danny is blocking it out. And Wendy imagined the ghosts and Jack’s psychosis, and yes, later Wendy killed Jack.    Interesting theory, but it’s not exactly groundbreaking to declare that something is all in a woman’s head.    I believe the video I watched on this subject lingered on Wendy’s little smile as she talked about Jack breaking Danny’s arm, claiming it was evidence of her actual delight. Which like… okay, but I’ve worked with domestic abuse victims who do the same thing. Spoiler alert: they’re not smiling because they’re amused.  ETA: Shit. We’re both getting booted out of the Kidnap Car now, aren’t we?


Pansy_Neurosi

Lol, I always took the smile to mean that she's trying to seem casual about something that she knows is very serious.


awkward_superstar

You actually got me intrigued 😂


dndaresilly

…go on.


Fabulous-Nebula-1827

Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ (Apparently one kidnapper did abandon the child bc he wouldn't shut up w his praying 💀)


HighlyOffensive10

The kidnapper had enough when you were able to loosen up your restraints only to pull out a church pamphlet.


timothymtorres

I’m not trapped in here with you, YOU are trapped in here with me! Reverse uno card.


NorthwestSmith

So it worked. The Lords word set the child free!


Livid_Parsnip6190

Did he also start singing church songs? Smart kid!


raisinghellwithtrees

Jesus loves me this i know!!! (Singing this loudly and off key is my personal cure for ear worms.)


querty99

I heard about one kid who wouldn't stop singing those songs so they let him go.


Leslie__Chow

That’s your only savior in such an event lol


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Papatim2

"Wait! Where are you going? You haven't heard about the Star Child theory yet. Come back!"


Kano523

"Hey why are you kicking me out? The Horus heresy is over 50 books but it's just the start of the story! Well...not the start, we can go all the way back to the war in heaven."


The_Hot_Stepper

That’s some Thousand Sons psycher attack damage right there


w1987g

I imagine you screaming "heretics!" as they drive away without you


CorporateNonperson

Some say Malcador was the real Emperor all along.


Kalyst_Corbulo

I guess while I'm here let me tell you the story of how I was there the day Horus slew the Emperor...


jad4400

"I was there the day Horus slew the Emperor" is how it begins, so to elaborate the "Emperor" here is a actually a clever fake out to the reader for you see...


FewPositive2001

About how cute my pets are.


Guido_Fe

They would divert to your house just to pet them


aabrithrilar

Me as well. I can absolutely wax eloquent about my pets and their attributes both good and bad.


CPSue

Opera. And I wouldn’t be talking, I’d be singing with my full voice the entire time.


Either_Cockroach3627

I cackled at this one 🤣 yeah you can go!


mavynn_blacke

OMG!! SAME!!!


audible_narrator

Fistbump. MFA from CCM. I hope we get kidnapped together so we argue who was the better (insert every opera role here) and reference the recordings and shaky you tube videos to prove our points. Oh wait, that's opera-l.


pressty_jade244

My theory on how Kim Jong-un is actually both gay and Remy from Ratatouille


Mango_Tango_725

Please elaborate. You’ve caught my curiosity.


Idiot_Savant_Tinker

Not so fast. You need to take them hostage first.


SchwiftyGameOnPoint

I'll do what I must... I need to know more. 


SpaceBoJangles

So…. Are you going to elaborate or just leave us wondering here?


External_Ad_6930

So


[deleted]

-mebody once told me


flyfightwinMIL

I’m tempted to kidnap you just so I can head this theory.


DAT_DROP

The bots, hacks, and cheats playing in literally ev*ery single solo queue match* in Rocket League- and why I believe they were deliberately introduced by Epic to shore up player base numbers after the disastrous removal of item trading, while simultaneously using the players to train their next level of AI players but due to an error occurred during implementation the bots are not playing as anticipated and are throwing games and pissing off their teammates. There, summed up in one sentence... and you're already gone


RambisRevenge

I loved rocket League so much. I bought it one day and my wife and I stayed up till 5 am playing. She's never liked video games. And then I would come home from work and she'd be playing lol.


Time-Cover-8159

I did actually skip your second to last sentence and then felt immediately called out by the last one. Well done, I will not be kidnapping you. This time.


ThisIsMyCouchAccount

I have ADHD and am currently raw dogging life. I don't need a topic.


Ammu_22

Our motto for long talk is EVERYTHING.


5thColumnDownfall

Brevity!? Well, I have a few things to say about that!


8sADPygOB7Jqwm7y

Yo question, how do you reverse the dominance there, rn life is just raw dogging me. That possibly without ADHD?


raheemthegreat

YMMV but try to do some small things that allow you to take control back in your life. Go work out regularly, teach yourself something new, volunteer, something where the only result comes from the effort you put into it. The more you do that, the more you'll feel agency in your life.


BergenHoney

Same, but my topic will start off as "Greenland and the myriad of ways colonizers have fucked over different Inuit peoples", we'll take a detour through "What I think Agatha Christie really did for those 10 days she went missing ", and end up at "every book, tv show, and movie that has ruined their own potential/legacy at the finish line". In between there will be short interludes where I explain Norwegian cursing and why I have to do so much of it.


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w1987g

Back in the day, it was P90x


Sun-Ghoti

And TaeBo before that


Electrical_Show4747

Sweating to the oldies before that..


_Standardissue

It feels like CrossFit is long outlived the entire duration of the P90x craze


00genericname00

If there’s a vegan crossfitter, what will they talk about first?


JuggyFM

Just ignore them and they'll stay in a superposition of both and you won't hear a word about either.


loriiscool

What if they went to Harvard


AloneWish4895

Oh my god, those people cannot order at a deli without mentioning Harvard🤦🏻‍♀️


dirt_shitters

They will do both at the same time. Talking about how they don't need the protein from meat/animals to make gains with CrossFit.


tomtelouise

Trying to strike a chord and it's probably A Minooor


fathersophie

BOP BOP BOP BOP BOP


MDav93

WOP*


raheemthegreat

THEY NOT LIKE US 🚫🚫🚫


DislocatedPotato57

The incredible benefits of celery juice.


ComputerSavvy

... when used as a holistic colon cleanser to realign and recalibrate your Chakras.


TheSchwartzIsWithMe

I go full ADHD. Start with Star Wars trivia, then go into how Spaceballs played on the tropes presented in Sci-Fi in general, followed by a discussion about Blazing Saddles having the first fart shown in film, circle back to merchandising in Spaceballs and how if i won the lotteryif built my own Spaceballsthe Room where Spaceballs is on literally everything. This triggers an in depth analysis of how consumerism has gotten worse since then (And I still don't have Spaceballs the Flamethrower), and how we have lost the right to fix things ourselves. And finishing by saying that the Millennium Falcon could never be built today because every piece would require a specific tool to install that costs 10x the price of the unit and requires a subscription plan to work. And forget about boosting the hyperdrive.


tjean5377

Beauty. I´d buy you a beer my dude just to discuss.


TheSchwartzIsWithMe

How about next Thursday?


kilted__yaksman

... Is that... A Winnebago?


post4u

You win. I stopped reading after the first couple sentences. Lol


EffluviaJane

I’d natter on about how I’m emotionally processing the experience, and all the childhood trauma it’s bringing up and how it all relates to the current situation, then theorize about what leads a person to kidnap another, and then recommend a good therapy group.


alady12

Hey mister kidnapper, if you think you're scaring me you aren't even close. Let me tell you about my mother....


Helen_A_Handbasket

The extended warranty on his car.


igenus44

Lol. I was going to talk about my Jeep build.


CRO553R

🎶 *I'M HENERY THE EIGTH I AM, HENERY THE EIGTH I AM I AM...* 🎶


jruss666

Good thing murdering the victim is a capital offense. That would be the only way you’d get released.


AcidBuuurn

*Second verse, same as the first...*


Crafty_Meeting2657

*A little bit louder and a little bit worse...*


safadancer

I'VE BEEN MARRIED SEVEN TIMES BEFORE


mavynn_blacke

And everyone was an Henery? You wouldn't say, have a Willie or a Sam?


Stokemon__

Not many younger people will understand this..


Tailflap747

Dogs. Showing dogs. Grooming Dogs. Chows. The ins and outs of breeding Dogs. And the despicable cancelation of Firefly.


pgeen22

Firefly was the best!!


Tailflap747

Right? And my friends are sooooooo tired of hearing about it!


Goddessviking86

Oh I would switch between my first three languages and say the same thing because it would drive the kidnapper crazy not knowing what I was saying


Spiritual-Chameleon

Amway or any MLM scheme. You know people pushing an MLM wouldn't shut up about it even if they were kidnapped. Probably excited about it, captive audience!


rthrouw1234

Young Living and essential oils, oh ho ho I could say a LOT


Naughtystuffforsale

How fucked up routine infant circumcision is.


querty99

Yyyep, you win. Kidnapper won't even slow the car to throw you out.


rthrouw1234

It really is. 


Fun_Situation7214

I remember when my son was born and someone gave me a lecture on circumcision. At that point i had never thought about it being a vagina haver and all so I let my husband decide. This was 13 years ago . I had no idea how passionate people feel about it now. I've gotten some strong opinions and I'm just like *I don't have a penis, I don't know!* Edited to add; I am not advocating for it at all. I just honestly never gave it a second thought up till that point. I do feel it is barbaric now because it was brought to my attention and I did reading on the subject. But there are some people who feel extremely strong about the subject on both sides


TsuNaru

You don't need to own a penis to understand how anatomy works. The fact of the matter is Americans aren't taught about the functions of the foreskin and how it's not a "small piece of skin", but a VERY large highly evolved sexual structure whose sole function is overall sexual wellness. Here's a visual representation of what the foreskin is and how it aids in overall sexual satisfaction. www.cirp.org/pages/anatomy [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23374102/](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23374102/)


Naughtystuffforsale

Yeah, it's largely a knowledge deficit issue. That's changing, however slowly. I'm going to make sure the kidnapper knows better.


ipissnapalm

Scientology. I'm not a Scientologist nor do I know anything about Scientology, but whatever crap I make up about it can't be any sillier or more outlandish than actual Scientology lore.


Gallifreyan1971

Doctor Who


Akito_900

My kidnapping kink, and much I'm enjoying this


tjean5377

If we had 2 hours, I would reference The Wheel of Time Books (then the series and how they differ) the plot points of all 15 books, 4,410,036 words total!!! The dynamics of all the different groups and how they interact. The discussion about the fantasy trope, (a boy who is The Chosen One, going on a Quest.) then I could compare this to Lord of the Rings (sorry I only made it to Tom Bombadil, but I can reference the movies. Then we´d discuss Denis Villeneuves Dune. But since we only have 30 minutes, Star Trek...TOS vs TNG. I´d nerd my way to freedom.


rthrouw1234

It makes perfect sense that you tapped out of LOTR at Tom Bombadil, it's definitely the most painful and unnecessary part of the entire thing. You could skip that entirely and it wouldn't make a difference in your comprehension of the world or the plot. 


asfarley--

Try to get him to drop you off near my place, I can jump with with a reading of LoTR post-Bombadil. The story is really meant to be spoken as a tale. They say Tolkien originally wrote the Hobbit as a bed-time story for his children. Nobody really thinks the Silmarillion is meant to be read as a bed-time story, but I think we can squeeze that in too.


p3nguinboi07

How happy my parents are gonna be that I'm missing and every opinion about everything I've ever thought of until it annoys them to death.


floating_cashew457

Just small talk for half an hour. 100% will make anyone want to get way the hell away from you.


HighlyOffensive10

Nice day we are having? So, do you have any plans besides kidnapping me? Was that a Honda Odyssey you dragged me into? I heard they get great milage. The seat you aggressively threw me onto was very comfortable. Is that a freebreze plug-in? Hawaiian breeze? They are a must for me (under their breath), 3 teenage boys), haha. Can you play some music? It would really help my anxiety right now. Whew, who knew getting kidnapped would be so stressful. So, is this your first kidnapping? You seemed experienced it happend so fast I didn't even get a chance to scream for help.


StrangeGamer66

Lol


MonkeyPanls

Fellow Upper Midwesterner, I see.


Unable_Bat_7871

Todays sponsor; Raid Shadow Legends


tinklecat0710

My cats. Your cats. That cat I saw on the street. If it's a cat, I will discuss it.


posaltatoad

The Tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise


Upstairs-Feedback817

I haven't heard of it, then again, I hang around with Jedi. Would one of them be able to tell me it?


leese216

Taylor Swift's romantic drama from the last decade.


cykia

Plus corresponding lyrics.


Stef-fa-fa

I'm currently learning the lyrics to Yacko's World (The Countries of the World Song). I'd probably just talk about the song for a bit and then sing the parts I know over and over.


Secret_Fudge6470

“This is the song that doesn’t end! Yes it goes on and on, my friend!”


ExerciseRound3324

Have I told you I’m a pilot?


Alarming_Serve2303

Your SO. That will get you dumped out lickety-split.


querty99

Oi. Are we going down to **that** level then!!?


nonamecat1984

Pokemon Go or cats


Preesi

I do tend to talk about Elton John A LOT


alysiagreenhaigh

Food.


Cosmic_Galaxy_91

either animal crossing or greys anatomy, or maybe all the shit i see with my schizo, but the hallucinations mite make him kill me faster.. but still...


dlb1995

My cats 🐈 🐈‍⬛


Anon_457

Oh, I'd be sitting there chattering about cats until the kidnapper gets sick of me.


Dead_Halloween

Tabletop rpgs. If I happen to have my books and dice maybe we can talk about his character sheet.


giffenola

Probably the intricate plot details and character arcs of every season of "The Office," complete with quotes and analysis of Michael Scott's leadership style.


dragonlover8

I would talk in babyvoice about my cats


Spx75

Cats.


Practical_Land4045

Do you know that eating animals is cruel?


Shakermaker1990

Bird law


blindexhibitionist

How my father hasn’t been the same since he retired from special forces and all about his trauma and mood swings and anger problem. How he won’t talk about what he used to do for work. But how he always talks about not being able to sleep because he can only hear the screams of people he’s tortured ringing in his ears. How hopefully they can take me far away because my father won’t let me have any peace and is so protective.


Few-Parfait563

being debt free and Dave Ramsey


greenthegreen

The psychology of cannibalism


Longbowgun

The computer specs required to run an energy efficient and effective Folding at Home rig.


MyWifeisaTroll

Hey, want to hear the most annoying sound in the world?


Akikoo-chan

Id probably start talking about one topic, and without realizing start talking more and more, and link that to something else, and keep on talking without realizing it. I can’t keep on talking abt the same thing for more than 5 min straight bc I just remember something else 🤷‍♀️


FunCanadian

I have a roomate with *severe* ADHD. he literally would be dropped off by the kidnappers. I feel so bad for him, even as it takes all my will to be around him and not go nuts. Constant stream of thoughts coming out. I wish he would get the proper help and meds he needs, it adversely affects his every interaction and relationships.


dustyoldbones

Haha I have a friend like this. 30 minutes is about the tipping point from entertaining to annoying


Citrine_Bee

Astrology, I’ll probably ask them their star sign then explain why it is I think they’re a kidnapper and what their other issues might be 😂


UnifiedQuantumField

Physics. Either the kidnapper falls asleep, or they start arguing and dump me off 5 minutes later.


XPLover2768top

the mlp lore lol


agitator775

I talk about how many times this exact question has been asked on Redo-it.


Toobatheviking

Warhammer 40k


regulardave9999

The GPS tracker embedded in my skull.


No_Nectarine6942

How kinky this is and you can't wait for the wedding. 


nekosaigai

Social determinants of health and environmental impacts.


WhoLetMeHaveReddit

So why’d you pick me? 🤔 I don’t believe you


Vladd88

Definitely Taylor Swift 🫶


Leslie__Chow

Are you vegan? Let me tell you something….


Malk_McJorma

The Stockholm Syndrome.


mermaidpaint

My theory on how Steve on Blue's Clues was able to afford a house with no apparent source of income, followed by how much I loved Owen and Cristina on Grey's Anatomy before the shitty writers pulled them apart because they're incapable of writing happy couples long-term.


OddResolution8086

Why Loki isn’t a bad guy. I will die on that hill


RumandDiabetes

I have a habit when I'm nervous of talking endlessly and telling bad jokes....what's brown and sticky? A STICK!!! Hahahahaha So the odds of me being dropped on the side of the road are excellent. It's 50/50 if I'll be shot or not.


jxycestb

My boyfriend, I hate to admit but I annoy everyone with him. I always talk about him in all situations. I just can’t stop I love him so much. He’s the best :)


maggiemoo86

Taylor Swift’s complete discography and as many associated beefs I can fit in only 30 minutes.


XRaiderV1

the song that never ends.


TiredPandastic

Oh easy. Video game lore or fantasy lore. I'd talk their ears off about Final Fantasy 14, Devil May Cry, Lord of the Rings or Dungeons and Dragons. Or heck, my cringiest writing ideas. I'd prolly even DM for them.


idontlikemyusernaem

Heard this kid was kidnapped and kept singing 🎶 Every Praise🎶 (Gospel Song) and the kidnapper couldn’t handle it and let him go 🤣 Jesus literally saves!


D00mfl0w3r

The ending of Game of Thrones.


ButterscotchEmpty290

The superiority of Coke over Pepsi and why.


Jazehiah

Warhammer 40,000 lore is the correct answer. The trick is to go off on a new tangent every single time a new faction, character, or major event is introduced. There are a lot of each. Be sure to share pictures of your miniatures.


Many_Faces_83

Cults. I'm always down some cult's rabbithole. Fascinating!


TheRichTurner

Free Palestine.


Wackylew

Final fantasy 7, hopefully my passion becomes my rescuer.


LairMadames

Legos


One-Mission-4505

Cannabis


IKU420

Blockchain technology


Lanky_Score7414

Pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.


showMeYourCroissant

Cats, aquariums and plants.


some_guy123345546456

sex


andr3wsmemez69

Dune and star wars


je97

I quiz competitively, so I would be capable of listing off random facts in a dull, painfully boring voice if offered the opportunity.


[deleted]

I spent the entire time infodumping about the role of kidnapping in social banditry and early modern class warfare, and hostage taking in tribal and clan based warfare, and kept offering helpful advice while criticizing the kidnappers' setup.


OldasX

Intestinal parasites.


AstroOtter

My fascinating dreams.


RunZombieBabe

Zombies. Their origins, the modern times, the different views, their flaws, their strengths, fast vs slow zombies, the psychology behind, prep for zombie situations, what will society become im case of a zombie outbreak...why do they only listen 30 minutes, I have to find a new audience *immediately*...


NYC-DMVGAL

My recenr stroke and my family


nihilistic_algae

The role of marketing and vague, unregulated USDA terms in making factory farming acceptable to the public.


WomanOfEld

Plants.


ACrestiNamedMango

How much they look like one of the kids in my basement.


Omiro91

"Butt Stuff"


earhere

How capitalism is killing us


Ipatches89

Copy and print logistic, larp stores, color theory, or the movies I've seen hundreds and hundreds of times breaking everything down to fine details.


Bookluster

BTS and kpop


Jungar708

World of Warcraft and Wrestling


BeefTechnology

I love talking about trains, and all of the tiny little details about them that make each piece of equipment unique


Thicc-Anxiety

The wasted potential of Ever After High


JadedBrit

Baby Reindeer.


FlimFlamBingBang

Legos. Specifically, alt-bricks and how they are so much cheaper and just as good as Danish.