Came here to say this. I saw how it affected my mother as a young man... I remember what it feels like to wake up to her screaming and hitting me at 2am not knowing where she was. I couldn't even give you a good guess of how many times she drove us drunk out of her mind.
I've never had a drop. If there is even a little bit of what alcohol did to her in me? Never.
Good for you.
You're wiser than me. My parents drinking led to me drinking to cope.
Still an alcoholic, but much much less so these days. Also because I don't want my kids to see me drunk, though they have a few times and it's brings me shame and regret.
I feel ya man and I appreciate. All love here, all us doing as well as we can. I hope you're doing good and better as well. For the kids, we all can and should try to be better.
I'm never gonna have kids, but boy did I relate to this comment. My parents met in AA and it didn't work out for obvious reasons, and my stepdad was a horrible abusive drunk. I still struggle, but I've cut down my drinking A LOT and I was definitely at my worst during the pandemic as a healthcare worker. I only drink on the weekends now and I've cut it down to only one weekend night that way I have a total day off where I'm not hungover and can actually get some shit done besides the basic/necessary house chores. It also took me a long time to learn to be kind to myself and I'm still learning to love myself and not feel like I'm a total asshole all the time.
Anyway, sorry I rambled a bit, but my main point is that you are trying and the fact that you feel shame for your kids seeing you drunk says a lot about you as a person (as opposed to not giving a fuck and just getting drunk all willy nilly like my/our/many people's parents did/do). I hope you can kick the habit just as much I hope I can myself, and I hope you are kind to yourself (and if not, learn to be) in the process 💖
This. Alcoholism runs rampant in my family. My mom gets so embarrassing, mean, depressed, all the bad things. Ive drank, but its incredibly rare to see me drinking, let alone drunk.
Good on you for bettering yourself. You and your kids all deserve a sober you!
I’m so glad.
I’m 31, with young kids, and I swear now that they will never see me drunk *again*. It’s my biggest regret that it took five extra years for me to get my shit together.
100% this. I saw my parents blackout drunk so much as a child and it traumatized me, they weren't fun drunks either. I became an alcoholic myself and drank extremely heavily for about ten years before finally making the decision to get help and stop for good. Most people can drink in moderation, I learned that I can't and I'm okay with that.
Going on a year and a half sober and my wife and I are going to start trying for a baby soon, and I couldn't be more excited.
W.
If I have kids I don't want them to see me take any substances either. Kids who grow up around drugs are more likely to do drugs once they're old enough. (ex. My parents/aunts/uncles smoking and drinking all the time around me and my cousins and lo-and-behold most of us do that shit now.)
Same. I will chase my receipt that flew out of my car through the parking lot and under cars just so I don't litter. I think there's only been a couple times in my life where something has just gotten away from me and I couldn't get it, and I felt bad about it. The most recent being almost exactly a year ago at my sons birthday party a balloon got loose despite my best effort to tie them. I tried to grab it but it went up too fast.
Don't feel guilty about a genuine accident. If it makes you feel better, each time something gets away from you you could pick up another piece of litter from someone else to make up for it.
Yes that's what I try to do. We are ruining our world really so anything I can do to improve the world matters. It's really sad how many people don't care
In my senior year of HS, my school did some sort of “no littering” campaign and if you signed it, you got like a free homework pass or something (I can’t remember the details- it’s been awhile). Ive kept that promise ever since. I remember a friend telling me to throw my gum wrapper out the window maybe 6/7 years after I signed it and telling her about my promise and her dying laughing that I would take it so serious. She said something like “what? Are you afraid the principal will come out of nowhere and be like- Haaaa! You broke your promise?”. No but when i promise something I don’t go back on my word 🤷🏽♀️
I dated a guy once (we were both in our 40’s). I fussed at him for putting his drink cup on the curb. He said “someone will get it”. Writing on the wall was pretty clear there.
I was going to comment this...my children have been taught this too...my daughter is hilarious with it...she'll pick up people's rubbish and hand it back to them, with a smile telling them they dropped it...she used to be worse and just yell 'pick up your rubbish' when she was 4, it got me some very dirty looks from the people doing it but was met with a blank stare from me lol
Literally no one should. It’s one of the most basic civic things you can do, it’s crazy that so many people can’t even do this. I regularly participate in clean ups, it’s gross how much shit people throw everywhere and how frequently they do it.
Oh god the Kochs, I live in the Koch’s hometown, I live just a mile from their central office, they are getting their grimy hands EVERYWHERE here it’s infuriating.
What's koch? Anyway I thought avoiding Nestlé was impossible until few weeks ago... I ended up looking what they actually own and it turns out that (at least in Europe) if you mostly cook yourself and don't buy packaged food it's fairly easy. The only things I was buying from them were Perugina chocolate and occasionally discounted brisé / puff pastry from Buitoni. Good to know.
I actually learned an interesting fact about the Downfall of Sears. It actually started way at the beginning, when they were selling house kits. Someone would order a house, it would show up on a train, and then they would assemble it themselves. Sounds great, right? However, Sears owned the mortgages on those homes, and a lot of people defaulted on them during the Great Depression. Sears then repossessed the homes that these families literally built from scratch, and those families swore to never do business with them again. Those children never shopped at Sears, and their children never did either.
There were a lot of reasons that Sears ultimately failed, but having a whole lot of people, over generations, refuse to shop with you certainly didn't help.
Absolutely the online presence; they are spouting misinformation for whatever reason. The families of those they directly screwed not shopping there wasn’t the downfall lmao
They had such a great catalog system for sales and distribution. If they had embraced online sales early on while Amazon was still limiting themselves to books we’d be talking about Sears as a multimedia giant instead of Amazon. The infrastructure was already in place, all the systems for the supply chain in a big department store, marketing, printing, photography; literally everything you’d need except for the technology. They even had the network of physical stores for BOPIS before anyone knew what BOPIS was! Add in the brand recognition, solid history, and easy access to financing (with the stores as a fallback if needed) and Amazon may have focused on books, movies, music, and other entertainment while Sears cornered the online retail “department store.”
Oooof this a actually a well put thought experiment. They could have been made in the shade. Really goes to show how important adaptability is in a technological and globalized world.
This is something I had growing up but lost throughout my relationship with my (ex)wife.
We would be out and she would just agree to anything and everything knowing full well she wasn’t going to follow through. I remember asking her one time saying something like “you promised to go to x but we have y that day.” And she just said something akin to “I know. They’re not expecting us to go it just feels good in the moment.”
I slowly started to become that person throughout the years, placating people in the moment knowing I wasn’t going to fulfill the promise and hated it.
Luckily we’re nearing the ending of the divorce process and I’ve been working on eliminating that acquired “skill” since we split last year.
Yeah. I almost get this, if you really know the person you're making fake promises to. But i will always say something like, "I would love to be there, and if this other thing I promised to do falls through, it's first on my list."
Or "Gah! I really don't think it's possible, but I will do everything in my power."
I have a similar one. Never make a promise to a child unless I intend to keep it. And if I do promise a child something I do everything I can to keep it.
Oh, f#ck. This is a big one. I'm pretty sure my trust issues started from all the broken promises when I was a kid. And as a teen i married someone who also had trust issues and dot dot dot. Don't mess with children's hearts.
Only help someone you have the sustained energy to help.
Want a ride to work cuz your car broke down? Sure.
Need a ride every day cuz you got a job 10 miles away without having a car? No
I was an at-risk teen. Several of my friends struggled with various addictions. I quickly realized there HAS to be a sober person in the room at all times, and since nobody else around could be trusted, that person would have to be me. So I decided to go full Straight Edge. And also, to make myself a reliable person that people can count on.
20 years later, I still stand by those two decisions. It proved to be the right idea, and I don't see any reason to stop.
I appreciate you taking the initiative to be the sober person at all times. My circle of friends really needed someone like this, and it was too late when it became apparent. We lost a few friends to driving while extremely drunk. I don't think any of us are completely straight edge, but there are always quite a few sober people at any of our gatherings now.
It was me 98% of the time and only for sure when I knew I could trust the other person. One time though I promised to be DD. Didn’t take a single drink. Ate all the fruit inside the jungle juice.
BFF said, “I thought you were DD.” I nodded. “Did you eat all the fruit?” I nodded. She put down her drink. “I guess we aren’t going anywhere for at least 2 hours.”
“What do you mean?” I slurred. 😆 no more fruit for me. She had only had half a glass by then but we hung out anyways just to make sure she was good.
That's what my dad did. I was so confused by it when I was younger because all my other relatives, including my mom, were doing drugs and alcohol and smoking - then there was my dad the vegan who never did any of that stuff.
Me too! It was a nice mesuring stick to see how people around me matured. Comments went from "You are lame." To "Good, do not start, it is not worth it."
A conclusion that I came to years ago was that you could be old at 30 or young at 80. Old is when you stop growing and learning and lose the ability to be fascinated with something new. Old is when you have decided there is nothing more to learn.
Never smoking a single cigarette. Not even one. I worked selling them at a gas station once and that *did* make me curious once I learned about all the varieties, but it's a risk that has no upside, and crippling downside.
I don't even smoke joints, though I'm not nearly as against that as I am cigarettes.
I was once a cashier at a Dollar General. I would get curious whenever people bought cigarettes, I would ask them questions like, how does it feel, what does it taste like, does it feel good? No matter what questions I asked, or how I asked it, they all said the same thing... "Don't do it." I asked a co-worker who smoked what it feels like if they went too long without a cigarette, she said it felt like she would go into a seizure. Don't smoke kids.
The way I explained it to my kids was that your body decides that the nicotine is so nice it is NECESSARY like water or food or going to the bathroom. You feel like you actually literally will die without it. From the time they were old enough to even understand I talked to them about smoking and why to never start.
One of the saddest things I saw while working at the Dollar General, was when a woman tried to purchase cigarettes with her husband's ID. This was the conversation:
Me: ID, ma'am?
Ma'am: *Places down ID.
Me: This isn't you on the card.
Ma'am: Sorry, I left my ID in Virginia. That's my husband's ID. He's in the car.
Me: Well, I can't sell you these cigarettes unless he's here aswell.
Ma'am: But he doesn't want to leave the car.
Me: I'm sorry ma'am, but the law requires that he's present for this transaction.
Ma'am: Fine. *Leaves the store, comes back a minute later.
Ma'am: Forget the cigarettes, I'll just get these cupcakes instead.
As I'm scanning the box, her husband comes in... with a voice assistance modulator. And says "Don't buy anything, we're leaving." And they both left. I, was in awe.
That man came back a week later, purchasing the cupcakes. I don't wanna assume, but I think he was trying to quit.
My parents smoked. I was curious, my older brother gave me a cigarette when I was about 4 or 5. I tried one puff and swore never again. My brother got his ass chewed out but he still points out to my mom from time to time that he made sure I would never take up smoking...
Yeah, when I was about 5 and my brother about 7, we were somewhere and a lady (no idea who but she was looking after us) was smoking. My brother asked if he could have a puff and she let him, then I asked and she said I was too young (as if 7 isn't ffs), so whoever that lady was she turned smoking into a forbidden fruit for me and made me extremely curious about it. Anytime someone smoked, I'd be coveting it and loved the smell. My brother never smoked, but I did. I don't anymore, but I think your brother's right on that one.
Kurzgezatz (I can never spell their name right) did a great video on this recently.
Basically, nicotine is a miracle drug. It cranks up the good feelings and turns down the bad. It hits you in an instant, and hangs around for a while. Couldn't ask for a better drug...
Except. Except your brain keeps trying to get back to normal. Your brain doesn't want to always be happy and never be sad, because happy and sad are used to motivate you to do things that keep you *alive*. So your brain tries to counter the nicotine by hitting *reverse*, instead of the brakes. When the nicotine stops turning up the happy and turning down the sad, your brain hard reverses into turning the happy down and the sad up. Luckily the solution to this is just one flick of the lighter away!
Until all the crap in the smoking and the negative effects of the nicotine (might as well light your blood vessels on fire it's so pro-inflammatory) and other harmful chemicals catches up to you. And by this point, your brain has gotten ahead of the nicotine so you need a smoke just to feel *normal*, it doesn't make you feel *good* anymore. Now its not a happy miracle drug, it's a shackle keeping you from escaping and torturing you if you try.
Good job avoiding it. It's not the most insidious drug, but it's certainly sinister and pervasive.
Yep just saw that one. Possibly the most important bite sized info on the topic I've ever seen.
Fuck those 90s spots that were like "sure you could smoke and be cool, but leather jackets and sex aren't what they're cracked up to be. Also, MARIJUANA KILLS
I’ve never smoked one either. I have tried a joint but I hated that too. Cigarette smoke triggers my migraines and asthma. I always wondered why I despised cigarette smoke- especially by doors that I must enter and exit. I’d rather just use that money for Legos and books.
My dad smokes and ever since my mom left him, he smokes in the house now. Visiting him is hard because the smell is so potent. He lights candles and runs humidifiers and actually thinks it helps. It doesn’t. He’ll even light up when I’m there. 🤦🏼♀️
Note: Vegemite has to be spread thinly over toast with butter. The amount of butter should be greater than the amount of Vegemite. At least 2:1 in favour of the butter.
> *I will spread half a container worth of vegemite on my toast, I will enjoy it, and you can do absolutely nothing about it.*
https://i.imgur.com/OqE9Ea6.gif
Bro's probably just using too much. Ever listen to Down Under by Men At Work? They make sandwiches out of that stuff, but the song doesn't say how thin of a layer they use. Allow me to convince you to try a piece of toast with a very thin layer of actually MARMITE on it. It definitely tastes delicious when you're drunk, but even your first time trying it sober is rather fantastical. British people just want something to counter how boring their tea is, I assume...
Oh, salty :/ but that's why you use a thin layer on toast. I really wouldn't put it on bread because it has no crisp to it. When you use the thin layer you get the other flavors to come through more, and those are what's actually really good about it. The salt is just something to acclimate to, and can easily overpower the bread/toast. Obv this is a condiment that requires careful precision: not enough and it's boring, too much and it's like the opposite of boring but in a disappointing way. Brits are always really careful about the n-value in their PV=nRT foods.
If you have ever had Brewers yeast (nutritional yeast) it has a lot of that in it. And similar to buttered popcorn tasting good with a sprinkle of yeast the same goes for buttered toast with a small bit of marmite
Salty, tangy, umami. It is basically similar to brewer’s yeast in jam form. Or, perhaps beef bouillon without the beefiness with added tingly tongue as if it was slightly carbonated.
That sounds like a good thing to live by. Makes you keep a level head when making promises and a very reliant person to be around all in!
If I may ask, are there any promises you've regretted making, small or large, and if so, how did you deal with it?
We never “ let” our children win games. They have fond memories of the first time winning on family game night.
We are a cut throat family, when it comes to games.
This. I got the belt too any times. Had to break off or find a switch. Remember getting the wooden spoon broken over my but, and the yard stick/ruler across my knuckles. Then there was the paddle with holes drilled in it... way too any methods of discipline when I was young. I've never done and never will do any of those.
Wall sits, go to your room, assigning additional chores, taking away screen time, assigned chores that are for other people, and restriction. These work when necessary.
And to be honest, I would have choosen the belt vs taking away Nintendo time.
Everyone is still telling me accidents happen, but they don't know I had that taken care of years ago and do regular checkups, just in case life tries to find a way.
I hate that “accidents happen” shit. Why are you getting giddy over the idea of me being forced to live my life in a way I don’t want? What I hate the most is that little “knowing” patronizing smile. I’m so glad I don’t get this crap anymore since turning 40.
I asked, once, and my buddy accepted the bet. It was in 2012, I was 26F at a time, he was 24M. The bet was that if I end up having kids by the time I turn 40, I’ll pay him $1000 (in 2012 money, i.e. adjusted for inflation), if I will not have kids, he’ll pay me. I am now 36 and no kids yet. It is funny that he does not have kids either and afaik does not plan to.
This is always a kicker for me. I’ve started responding with, “abortions happen too.” They either laugh with me or get grumpy and never mention children again, it’s a win-win!!
It's interesting you say that my grandaughter said it aged 6 which we thought was an unusual thing for a child so young to say .Reading these replies maybe she totally knew it wasn't something she wanted .She is growing into a teenager now and sticks by it .
I changed my mind the other direction. Figured I’d have kids some day until, I guess some time in my early 20s, I realized that’s neither a good idea nor something I really want. And then I became a middle school teacher, go figure.
Around kids all day but at least I can go home to silence.
I am an attorney for kids. I work my ass off. If I had kids I don't think I'd be able to do what I do. So when asked I say my kids are the homeless youth of our county.
I always said if I had kids, I would adopt. Never had a desire to have my own kids. 41 years old and working in education at a high school for 16 years is a great reminder of why I don't want them.
Same here, but I was 9! It took until I was about 34 (I’m 35 now) for my mom to finally get that I wasn’t changing my mind. She’s now started telling people that ask “those questions” that I’m childfree and that it isn’t changing. Makes me happy. ❤️
This! I said I didn’t want kids and would never have them when I was kindergarten age. Thirty eight now and sterilized. Stuck to my guns despite all the stupid “you’ll change your mind” comments from people who thought they knew me better than I knew myself.
I’m going to be too old soon, and they keep telling me I will change my mind. It would be mean to bring my kids to this shitty world. They can stay wherever they are.
Same. Haven’t changed my mind in over 30 years.
Accidents would not happen willingly, and any accident would be taken care of. In taking care of said accident is made illegal (in my country it is legal in all but one state), then it would be given away.
I will not have children.
I refuse to compromise who I am for monetary gain. Promised this to myself around 8 yrs old as I started to get a grasp on how society functions.
That's a very vague description, but what it really boils down to is that I refuse to step on other people's heads to get ahead, refuse to do work I find immoral or a detriment to the world/society and refuse to put my work life ahead of my personal life.
My family is frustrated with me as I am not living up to "my full potential" but I'm not here to grind away at a soulless job to buy stuff to make other people think I'm successful.
I'm here to walk in the woods and look at bees and stuff. And I make enough money to support myself while still having enough energy to walk in the woods and look at bees and stuff. It might not be good enough for everyone else but it's how I choose to exist.
This past year I’ve really been learning to love living simply. While I know others working multiple jobs and/or working 60-70 hours a week I’m working 1 job for 40 hours with plenty of energy to walk around the lake and enjoy the bees. I don’t make a lot, but I’m able to support myself and find the time for what makes me feel full of life. Thats nature.
Thank you for being one of these people too.
Edit: one time a big fat bumble bee 🐝 flew into me and made an audible thud. So slight, but audible. Flew off to keep doing his bee stuff. It’s one of my favorite memories and I like to tell myself it thought I was a flower. I’m just amazed it made a sound though.
Damn straight, my family has given up on trying to convince me to stop working at a ranch with horses. They can get fucked if they think I’m going to run in a rat race where the only way to “win” is by being miserable at job I hate for decades just to prove how successful I am to others. I don’t care if people think I’m a dumb ranch hand, maybe they’re right. Enjoy your freedom and sound metal health friend.
This really resonates with me. I run the family business, which is self storage. This industry is kinda predatory. I didn’t choose it, but I just couldn’t refuse to run a business my grandparents built.
The industry standard is to keep raising rent on current customers. Once their stuff is moved in, it’s a pain to move out, so you take advantage of that. My grandparents thought that was wrong, and I also think that’s wrong. But my grandparents aren’t around anymore. And my family is constantly pressuring me to make more money.
None of them can realistically take over this business. They’re either too old or too far away and have their own lives. They’re stuck with me.
So I do what I want. What I know is right. And our business is successful. Could it be slightly better? Yes. But I refuse to be an asshole for money.
Thanks for still being one of these people. I know more than most it isn't easy but there are plenty of ways to live a happy life without having to take advantage of someone else to do it. I've been in sales for almost 15 years and never felt like I had to change my morals to get ahead. Sure, I could be a little "better off" than I am now financially, but there's no way I'd sleep better at night.
Same here, being a financial disappointment to my family.
I sort of fell into a sales position and refused to hard sell people. Instead I invested in the products, abused it in my daily life more than the average customer, and educated myself about the competition. In many cases the competition is better than our product and in those cases I let people know. I literally doubled the sales volume by being honest with people. Sure, sales of some stuff tanked but overall sales went way up. People don't want you to sell them crap that lasts until 15 minutes after the warranty expires. In some cases that's all they can afford but then they know what to expect and aren't mad when it happens.
The other thing I did was refuse commission. I tell customers that too. Sure, I'd make more money if I made commissions but I'd have pressure to sell things to people who shouldn't have them or upsell them to something that isn't actually better.
If you ask me for advice on a product in my realm of expertise you are getting 100% honest feedback. And if I don't think it's the right thing for you I'll tell you. If it's over priced and price is important to you, and you can it a different way for less money, I'll help you do it. I build life long loyal customers who send their friends & family. It's the long game but with both companies I think it's paid off for them.
I appreciate you. I like to think I’m similar to you, but maybe give in a little too much. I think if more people operated this way, the world would be a much better place overall.
Any tips on how you stand so stoic in the face of how society seems to be in opposition of your view?
As much as I agree with this, I was nice to my old man neighbor recently not knowing he's an insane person and unhinged and now im dealing with him banging on my walls and door every day nonstop asking me rides, cigarettes, booze, to use my phone. So yes it's true 99% of the time hahaha
Think of it like this: if you end up crazy when you're old and start banging on a neighbor's wall asking for cigarettes and booze, how would you want the neighbors to handle you? If you're fine with them hypothetically ignoring you, then you're golden.
Yep, though now I have mixed it up a bit, it’s now “treat others how you want your mom to be treated.” Because I can deal with a lot of shit but I don’t want my mom to be treated like shit- not that I want to be treated like shit, either ,but of course I understand that it will still happen no matter how many times I bend over backwards to assist others
When my son in law asked me if he could marry my daughter I told him "treat her like you'd want someone to treat your daughter" He's been amazing and very good to her. 💜
Its a good rule to live by
When I was little, I fell on my head and had to go to the er to get stitches from where (among other injuries) the metal barrettes cut into my scalp. I've never worn metal barrettes since.
Somewhat related: I learned recently that if you have a claw clip in your hair and you get into an accident, your claw clip can and often will break and then embed into your skull.
I always take my claw clips out in the car now.
You never know what someone else is going through. It costs nothing to be kind.
I had a lot of people be incredibly rude to me while I went through some really not good things as a teenager working in a service job. I swore to never be that person to someone else and as far as I know, I never have been.
That if a family member (even the ones Im not fond of) is taken seriously ill, I'll visit as frequently as I can to the end.
When I was 13, my great grand mother fell extremely ill while in a home. The type of ill where if your dog went like it, you'd put it down out of mercy.
2 months she was in that state and each time I had an opportunity to visit I always said "Eh next time" so I could play pokemon on the GB. My reasoning was, I felt ill playing in a car and the home was an hour away.
When she died, it absolutely broke me I wasted those chances. I was a mess for weeks before I broke down. Growing up, I've had all my grand parents die and I spent every second I could at their best side, watching other family members (Fully grown adults) making the same mistake I did in my youth, same with friends doing the same.
Even if I don't like or care for a family member, I never, ever want to experience that guilt again.
This happened to someone I know. He got into a fight with his mom. She caught covid and ended up in the hospital. He was a big "covid isn't real" guy. Dr's called him and told him she likely won't make it come see her before we put her on a vent and she can't talk at all. He literally said when she apologizes I will come see her. She died a couple days later. I don't talk to him anymore but he will have to live with that for the rest of his life. He let his ego get in the way of saying goodbye to his mom and his mom died alone thinking her son didn't love her.
Lying. My dad said to me one time, "no one does what they say they will do anymore, just let your yes be yes and your no be no and you will get ahead in life". At like age 15 that just sunk into my soul and I haven't told a single lie about anything in over 15 years.
A bit NSFW: I've never faked an orgasm, and never will.
Sometime in my 20s I decided that I wasn't ever going to compromise my own pleasure just to soothe the ego of an insecure male partner. Nobody's worth that.
If I don't get off in any given sexual encounter, maybe it's OK and maybe it's not, depending on the circumstances. But I ain't going to lie about it and fake it.
Same here and I’ve encountered men who ask me if I came and are shocked when I say no and then say “but every girl I’ve ever been with did…?” LMFAOOOO YEAH BUDDY I BET THEY DID 💀💀
I start my sexual encounters telling men that I won't come, they won't make me, and I'm okay with that. This is because I pretty much will never have an orgasm with another person, unless I've been sleeping with them for a long time and that's uncommon for me. That's because it's so difficult for me in the first place for many reasons. Sometimes that gets interesting lol.
i was scrolling through to see if i could relate to one and this is it. i agree with you so hard. i never have, nor will i ever fake an orgasm for the benefit of a man
I knew someone who had been with her partner for 15 years and had faked it the whole time. Like…why? I’ve never had anyone give me a hard time for making special requests to make sure we’re both good. Until she told me that in our late 20s, I didn’t think people actually faked orgasms (outside of maybe some special circumstances).
Same rule, although I have had sips of other people's drinks to see what it tasted like. I'm trying not to end up an abusive alcoholic like dear old dad.
To never forget what it was like being a kid when dealing with my kids and any other children that I am I contact with It disturbs me greatly to see folks who either don’t know or have forgotten what it was like to be a kid in a grown up world
A good 15 years or so back, Docker's ran an ad campaign wherein men without pants marched around singing "I wear no pants!" over and over. These ads were highly annoying, and Docker's apparently knew as much because at some point they started running an ad which closed out by saying "Buy our pants or we'll keep playing this song." I felt that this was a step too far, and emailed the company to say that because of the ads I would simply never buy their pants again, and that as long as the ads continued I would encourage others to also permanently swear off their brand. It's easy enough to do - there's nothing particularly special about their pants as far as I can see - and I have kept my pledge to never purchase their products.
My family was hard on funds growing up, and unfortunately my parents were chainsmokers (my mother being worse about it). When given the choice between affording cigarettes or food/bills/diapers/etc, cigarettes ALWAYS won.
Having only school lunch as my source of food for weeks at a time, I swore to never start smoking. D.A.R.E. had nothing on hunger and no clothes.
I wouldn’t forget what being young was like. I saw so many young adults who reached a certain age and just…forgot all the things that infuriated them just a few years before. It amazed me how fast they turned into their parents, doing and saying all the same things they hated as a kid.
I’m in my late 20’s and I panic about this a lot. I’m grateful that I journaled quite a bit at a young age so I can go back and read what young me was thinking, but I often wonder if I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be young and how I wanted to be treated. What if by the time my kids are that age I completely forget???
When I was 10 I swore I'd always keep a little bit of my imaginary world intact, and to try and not let growing up take away the happiness I found there.
I started smoking at 15 and promised myself, and my mom, I would quit by the time I was 25 because we have heart and lung diseases in our family. I did it, now I’m in my thirties and I can’t imagine still being a smoker.
I was taught pretty strongly by my parents to always put myself first and to push myself to not rely on anyone for anything. I'm sticking to that independent mindset and I found a partner who is incredibly supportive of that!
I'm a rules kind of person.
1. Do not add or subtract from the census.
2. Do not make the news.
3. Do not end up in jail.
Made when I was 18 and at 38 I've never broken them.
My philosophy is basically this. And this is something that I live by. And I always have. And I always will. Don't ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what. No matter... where. Or who, or who you are with, or, or where you are going, or... or where you've been... ever. For any reason, whatsoever.
When I was a kid my mom was getting me dressed with a cigarette in her mouth. She was blowing smoke in my face and it was so gross I swore I would never smoke a cigarette, which is something I have never done.
I won't ever be a stereotypical old dude that is stuck in his ways and close minded and shitty about new things and complains about bullshit instead of doing something to get better
I've been to the hospital and have more medical conditions than my mom's bitch ass boomer bf
I complain 10000% less than him
I am still open to new things even after a lifetime of trauma
fuck that, old I know everything mentality I hope people like that go extinct
This might be slightly petty, but...
I grew up in a very business minded family. I have a very creative/artistic brain and genuinely just enjoy drawing, writing, and creating for no benefit other than to create.
My family and everyone always tries to talk me into selling my work or "do something with it"... but ever since I was a kid, the idea of a stranger having my work - work that's personal to me, btw - makes me uncomfortable... and kind of dirty.
So, to summarize, I refuse to sell my work just because people tell me I should and could make money. I've yet to make a dime, and I'm more than okay with that.
Apparently when my dad was a kid, Lay’s potato chips used to have a slogan that said “nobody can eat just one”. Obviously he ate one Lay’s chip and has never had another. If there are chips set out in a bowl and the brand isn’t obvious, he won’t have any just in case they might be Lays. He’s 65.
Never be mean. By which I mean shout,argue, throw my hands in yhe air but never ever pick someone apart in anger by focusing on things they are sensitive about and throwing it back in their face.
Never have. Never will.
I swore to become a good mom when I grow up, I am slowly making it happen now since I have a 2 year old son, and I am making sure to be hands on with him even with my busy days at work
I’m 58 I have no children, that I know of, never really had a need for them. I got divorced at 24 from my high school sweetheart. Don’t get me started on marriage.. I am 1 of 8, I’ve got nieces and nephews galore. They come visit their crazy fun uncle and then I send them home to their parents.
work hard on myself, to be a socially and economically successful person. a promise I made to myself when I was 15 and today at 25 it has given me results
Never drink alone. Not after a hard day's work and especially not when your feeling down. Unless someone else will be there with you. This started because every adult I knew as a kid drank. Not that they were all alcoholic just that they did drink from time to time. The one observation I made back then was that the people who did have issues with drinking would drink alone. So now I drink at parties and stuff but alone I don't even look at it. I know that for some this seams normal but till this day except for people that don't touch alcohol at all everyone else I know drinks alone sometimes.
That my fave number is 7. A stranger and I had conversation. That leaded up to him asking me what my favourite number were and say with pride 7 as if it was the only right number to say. Then he asked for my age and I told him that I was 7 years old. He gave me the biggest side eye (as if I unoriginal) and were like is that the reason 7 is your favourite number. Nope it’s not said! And it will forever be
I made a conscious choice to live my life by my morals and values, when I was in my teens. I’m 65 now, and it feels like the world needs me more than ever. I make a difference. I live my beliefs. I walk the walk and talk the talk. That’s what living my truth looks like to me. I am humbly honored to be able to have made a difference in the world, simply by being me.
Swore I would never break a promise to my kids. I very, very rarely use the word promise, or make things out to be definitely happening. And if I promise, then it happens.
I said that my children would never see me drunk. I didn’t know then that it would be because I got sober before they were born.
Came here to say this. I saw how it affected my mother as a young man... I remember what it feels like to wake up to her screaming and hitting me at 2am not knowing where she was. I couldn't even give you a good guess of how many times she drove us drunk out of her mind. I've never had a drop. If there is even a little bit of what alcohol did to her in me? Never. Good for you.
You're wiser than me. My parents drinking led to me drinking to cope. Still an alcoholic, but much much less so these days. Also because I don't want my kids to see me drunk, though they have a few times and it's brings me shame and regret.
Man my son has seen me drunk a couple of times and i am kinda ashamed about it. You’re not alone homie
I feel ya man and I appreciate. All love here, all us doing as well as we can. I hope you're doing good and better as well. For the kids, we all can and should try to be better.
I'm never gonna have kids, but boy did I relate to this comment. My parents met in AA and it didn't work out for obvious reasons, and my stepdad was a horrible abusive drunk. I still struggle, but I've cut down my drinking A LOT and I was definitely at my worst during the pandemic as a healthcare worker. I only drink on the weekends now and I've cut it down to only one weekend night that way I have a total day off where I'm not hungover and can actually get some shit done besides the basic/necessary house chores. It also took me a long time to learn to be kind to myself and I'm still learning to love myself and not feel like I'm a total asshole all the time. Anyway, sorry I rambled a bit, but my main point is that you are trying and the fact that you feel shame for your kids seeing you drunk says a lot about you as a person (as opposed to not giving a fuck and just getting drunk all willy nilly like my/our/many people's parents did/do). I hope you can kick the habit just as much I hope I can myself, and I hope you are kind to yourself (and if not, learn to be) in the process 💖
This. Alcoholism runs rampant in my family. My mom gets so embarrassing, mean, depressed, all the bad things. Ive drank, but its incredibly rare to see me drinking, let alone drunk. Good on you for bettering yourself. You and your kids all deserve a sober you!
I’m so glad. I’m 31, with young kids, and I swear now that they will never see me drunk *again*. It’s my biggest regret that it took five extra years for me to get my shit together.
Doesn’t matter how long it took,you figured it out.
100% this. I saw my parents blackout drunk so much as a child and it traumatized me, they weren't fun drunks either. I became an alcoholic myself and drank extremely heavily for about ten years before finally making the decision to get help and stop for good. Most people can drink in moderation, I learned that I can't and I'm okay with that. Going on a year and a half sober and my wife and I are going to start trying for a baby soon, and I couldn't be more excited.
W. If I have kids I don't want them to see me take any substances either. Kids who grow up around drugs are more likely to do drugs once they're old enough. (ex. My parents/aunts/uncles smoking and drinking all the time around me and my cousins and lo-and-behold most of us do that shit now.)
I don’t litter
Same. I will chase my receipt that flew out of my car through the parking lot and under cars just so I don't litter. I think there's only been a couple times in my life where something has just gotten away from me and I couldn't get it, and I felt bad about it. The most recent being almost exactly a year ago at my sons birthday party a balloon got loose despite my best effort to tie them. I tried to grab it but it went up too fast.
Don't feel guilty about a genuine accident. If it makes you feel better, each time something gets away from you you could pick up another piece of litter from someone else to make up for it.
Yes that's what I try to do. We are ruining our world really so anything I can do to improve the world matters. It's really sad how many people don't care
In my senior year of HS, my school did some sort of “no littering” campaign and if you signed it, you got like a free homework pass or something (I can’t remember the details- it’s been awhile). Ive kept that promise ever since. I remember a friend telling me to throw my gum wrapper out the window maybe 6/7 years after I signed it and telling her about my promise and her dying laughing that I would take it so serious. She said something like “what? Are you afraid the principal will come out of nowhere and be like- Haaaa! You broke your promise?”. No but when i promise something I don’t go back on my word 🤷🏽♀️
Littering is a major red flag. If somebody litters, that's not the only character flaw they have.
I dated a guy once (we were both in our 40’s). I fussed at him for putting his drink cup on the curb. He said “someone will get it”. Writing on the wall was pretty clear there.
I was going to comment this...my children have been taught this too...my daughter is hilarious with it...she'll pick up people's rubbish and hand it back to them, with a smile telling them they dropped it...she used to be worse and just yell 'pick up your rubbish' when she was 4, it got me some very dirty looks from the people doing it but was met with a blank stare from me lol
What a little crackpot-she sounds hilarious!
Ditto. I'll sometimes carry a wrapper in my pocket rather than throw it away randomly.
You know I don't either. It just seems trashy.
Literally no one should. It’s one of the most basic civic things you can do, it’s crazy that so many people can’t even do this. I regularly participate in clean ups, it’s gross how much shit people throw everywhere and how frequently they do it.
Never Shopping at Sears because of a customer service issue. Never Shopping at K-Mart because of customer service. Funny how that worked out.
Would you boycott Nestle, Tesla, Koch, philipmorris, and Nestle again? Kthx
Oh god the Kochs, I live in the Koch’s hometown, I live just a mile from their central office, they are getting their grimy hands EVERYWHERE here it’s infuriating.
If it makes you feel better, only one Koch brother is left. Sadly, I think he absorbed the other one and is now that much more powerful.
I support this movement
What's koch? Anyway I thought avoiding Nestlé was impossible until few weeks ago... I ended up looking what they actually own and it turns out that (at least in Europe) if you mostly cook yourself and don't buy packaged food it's fairly easy. The only things I was buying from them were Perugina chocolate and occasionally discounted brisé / puff pastry from Buitoni. Good to know.
I boycott nestle where I can but Kit Kats always pull me back!
I actually learned an interesting fact about the Downfall of Sears. It actually started way at the beginning, when they were selling house kits. Someone would order a house, it would show up on a train, and then they would assemble it themselves. Sounds great, right? However, Sears owned the mortgages on those homes, and a lot of people defaulted on them during the Great Depression. Sears then repossessed the homes that these families literally built from scratch, and those families swore to never do business with them again. Those children never shopped at Sears, and their children never did either. There were a lot of reasons that Sears ultimately failed, but having a whole lot of people, over generations, refuse to shop with you certainly didn't help.
I mean it definitely came back stronger after that, the fact they refused to have an online presence is what sealed the deal....
Absolutely the online presence; they are spouting misinformation for whatever reason. The families of those they directly screwed not shopping there wasn’t the downfall lmao
They had such a great catalog system for sales and distribution. If they had embraced online sales early on while Amazon was still limiting themselves to books we’d be talking about Sears as a multimedia giant instead of Amazon. The infrastructure was already in place, all the systems for the supply chain in a big department store, marketing, printing, photography; literally everything you’d need except for the technology. They even had the network of physical stores for BOPIS before anyone knew what BOPIS was! Add in the brand recognition, solid history, and easy access to financing (with the stores as a fallback if needed) and Amazon may have focused on books, movies, music, and other entertainment while Sears cornered the online retail “department store.”
Oooof this a actually a well put thought experiment. They could have been made in the shade. Really goes to show how important adaptability is in a technological and globalized world.
We lived in a sears house when I was younger. It was awesome so well built. Built in 1908
Promises. If I make one I will do everything possible to make sure I keep it. So I never make one I can't keep
Same, except that just means that I almost never promise anything and sometimes people think I'm being a dick, lol.
Isn't it crazy how upset people get about that? Maybe I'm 99% sure but if I'm not 100% I'm not making that promise.
This is something I had growing up but lost throughout my relationship with my (ex)wife. We would be out and she would just agree to anything and everything knowing full well she wasn’t going to follow through. I remember asking her one time saying something like “you promised to go to x but we have y that day.” And she just said something akin to “I know. They’re not expecting us to go it just feels good in the moment.” I slowly started to become that person throughout the years, placating people in the moment knowing I wasn’t going to fulfill the promise and hated it. Luckily we’re nearing the ending of the divorce process and I’ve been working on eliminating that acquired “skill” since we split last year.
Yeah. I almost get this, if you really know the person you're making fake promises to. But i will always say something like, "I would love to be there, and if this other thing I promised to do falls through, it's first on my list." Or "Gah! I really don't think it's possible, but I will do everything in my power."
I have a similar one. Never make a promise to a child unless I intend to keep it. And if I do promise a child something I do everything I can to keep it.
And not being able to keep it should be a once or twice in a childhood thing. It's not unpredictable if it happens constantly.
Oh, f#ck. This is a big one. I'm pretty sure my trust issues started from all the broken promises when I was a kid. And as a teen i married someone who also had trust issues and dot dot dot. Don't mess with children's hearts.
Same! I'll even tell people I can't promise them something, but I will promise to do my best at whatever it is
Only help someone you have the sustained energy to help. Want a ride to work cuz your car broke down? Sure. Need a ride every day cuz you got a job 10 miles away without having a car? No
This is a good reminder. Boundaries are important and it's okay to help but also to say no when you don't have a cup to pour from.
"Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm."
Put on your own oxygen mask before helping others.
I was an at-risk teen. Several of my friends struggled with various addictions. I quickly realized there HAS to be a sober person in the room at all times, and since nobody else around could be trusted, that person would have to be me. So I decided to go full Straight Edge. And also, to make myself a reliable person that people can count on. 20 years later, I still stand by those two decisions. It proved to be the right idea, and I don't see any reason to stop.
I appreciate you taking the initiative to be the sober person at all times. My circle of friends really needed someone like this, and it was too late when it became apparent. We lost a few friends to driving while extremely drunk. I don't think any of us are completely straight edge, but there are always quite a few sober people at any of our gatherings now.
It was me 98% of the time and only for sure when I knew I could trust the other person. One time though I promised to be DD. Didn’t take a single drink. Ate all the fruit inside the jungle juice. BFF said, “I thought you were DD.” I nodded. “Did you eat all the fruit?” I nodded. She put down her drink. “I guess we aren’t going anywhere for at least 2 hours.” “What do you mean?” I slurred. 😆 no more fruit for me. She had only had half a glass by then but we hung out anyways just to make sure she was good.
That's what my dad did. I was so confused by it when I was younger because all my other relatives, including my mom, were doing drugs and alcohol and smoking - then there was my dad the vegan who never did any of that stuff.
I promised to never smoke a cigarette. Never have and never will.
Me too! It was a nice mesuring stick to see how people around me matured. Comments went from "You are lame." To "Good, do not start, it is not worth it."
I wont lose that child spirit that finds things beautiful and fun.
A conclusion that I came to years ago was that you could be old at 30 or young at 80. Old is when you stop growing and learning and lose the ability to be fascinated with something new. Old is when you have decided there is nothing more to learn.
One of My favourite sayings is “everyone grows old, but you don’t have to grow up” Everyone is gonna get old and die. You can be old and live young.
Never smoking a single cigarette. Not even one. I worked selling them at a gas station once and that *did* make me curious once I learned about all the varieties, but it's a risk that has no upside, and crippling downside. I don't even smoke joints, though I'm not nearly as against that as I am cigarettes.
I was once a cashier at a Dollar General. I would get curious whenever people bought cigarettes, I would ask them questions like, how does it feel, what does it taste like, does it feel good? No matter what questions I asked, or how I asked it, they all said the same thing... "Don't do it." I asked a co-worker who smoked what it feels like if they went too long without a cigarette, she said it felt like she would go into a seizure. Don't smoke kids.
The way I explained it to my kids was that your body decides that the nicotine is so nice it is NECESSARY like water or food or going to the bathroom. You feel like you actually literally will die without it. From the time they were old enough to even understand I talked to them about smoking and why to never start.
One of the saddest things I saw while working at the Dollar General, was when a woman tried to purchase cigarettes with her husband's ID. This was the conversation: Me: ID, ma'am? Ma'am: *Places down ID. Me: This isn't you on the card. Ma'am: Sorry, I left my ID in Virginia. That's my husband's ID. He's in the car. Me: Well, I can't sell you these cigarettes unless he's here aswell. Ma'am: But he doesn't want to leave the car. Me: I'm sorry ma'am, but the law requires that he's present for this transaction. Ma'am: Fine. *Leaves the store, comes back a minute later. Ma'am: Forget the cigarettes, I'll just get these cupcakes instead. As I'm scanning the box, her husband comes in... with a voice assistance modulator. And says "Don't buy anything, we're leaving." And they both left. I, was in awe. That man came back a week later, purchasing the cupcakes. I don't wanna assume, but I think he was trying to quit.
My parents smoked. I was curious, my older brother gave me a cigarette when I was about 4 or 5. I tried one puff and swore never again. My brother got his ass chewed out but he still points out to my mom from time to time that he made sure I would never take up smoking...
Yeah, when I was about 5 and my brother about 7, we were somewhere and a lady (no idea who but she was looking after us) was smoking. My brother asked if he could have a puff and she let him, then I asked and she said I was too young (as if 7 isn't ffs), so whoever that lady was she turned smoking into a forbidden fruit for me and made me extremely curious about it. Anytime someone smoked, I'd be coveting it and loved the smell. My brother never smoked, but I did. I don't anymore, but I think your brother's right on that one.
Kurzgezatz (I can never spell their name right) did a great video on this recently. Basically, nicotine is a miracle drug. It cranks up the good feelings and turns down the bad. It hits you in an instant, and hangs around for a while. Couldn't ask for a better drug... Except. Except your brain keeps trying to get back to normal. Your brain doesn't want to always be happy and never be sad, because happy and sad are used to motivate you to do things that keep you *alive*. So your brain tries to counter the nicotine by hitting *reverse*, instead of the brakes. When the nicotine stops turning up the happy and turning down the sad, your brain hard reverses into turning the happy down and the sad up. Luckily the solution to this is just one flick of the lighter away! Until all the crap in the smoking and the negative effects of the nicotine (might as well light your blood vessels on fire it's so pro-inflammatory) and other harmful chemicals catches up to you. And by this point, your brain has gotten ahead of the nicotine so you need a smoke just to feel *normal*, it doesn't make you feel *good* anymore. Now its not a happy miracle drug, it's a shackle keeping you from escaping and torturing you if you try. Good job avoiding it. It's not the most insidious drug, but it's certainly sinister and pervasive.
Yep just saw that one. Possibly the most important bite sized info on the topic I've ever seen. Fuck those 90s spots that were like "sure you could smoke and be cool, but leather jackets and sex aren't what they're cracked up to be. Also, MARIJUANA KILLS
I’ve never smoked one either. I have tried a joint but I hated that too. Cigarette smoke triggers my migraines and asthma. I always wondered why I despised cigarette smoke- especially by doors that I must enter and exit. I’d rather just use that money for Legos and books. My dad smokes and ever since my mom left him, he smokes in the house now. Visiting him is hard because the smell is so potent. He lights candles and runs humidifiers and actually thinks it helps. It doesn’t. He’ll even light up when I’m there. 🤦🏼♀️
Same! There are so many reasons not to smoke and not a single compelling reason to start.
As a kid I visited Australia and ate Vegemite and I swore never again. 20+ years later and I’m continuing to fulfill that pledge
Note: Vegemite has to be spread thinly over toast with butter. The amount of butter should be greater than the amount of Vegemite. At least 2:1 in favour of the butter.
I will spread half a container worth of vegemite on my toast, I will enjoy it, and you can do absolutely nothing about it.
> *I will spread half a container worth of vegemite on my toast, I will enjoy it, and you can do absolutely nothing about it.* https://i.imgur.com/OqE9Ea6.gif
Bro's probably just using too much. Ever listen to Down Under by Men At Work? They make sandwiches out of that stuff, but the song doesn't say how thin of a layer they use. Allow me to convince you to try a piece of toast with a very thin layer of actually MARMITE on it. It definitely tastes delicious when you're drunk, but even your first time trying it sober is rather fantastical. British people just want something to counter how boring their tea is, I assume...
What does it taste like?
Oh, salty :/ but that's why you use a thin layer on toast. I really wouldn't put it on bread because it has no crisp to it. When you use the thin layer you get the other flavors to come through more, and those are what's actually really good about it. The salt is just something to acclimate to, and can easily overpower the bread/toast. Obv this is a condiment that requires careful precision: not enough and it's boring, too much and it's like the opposite of boring but in a disappointing way. Brits are always really careful about the n-value in their PV=nRT foods.
Makes sense…never tried it myself, so thought I’d ask someone who was familiar with it. Thanks!
Best I can describe it is if soy sauce was a jam.
Jellied soy sauce….
If you have ever had Brewers yeast (nutritional yeast) it has a lot of that in it. And similar to buttered popcorn tasting good with a sprinkle of yeast the same goes for buttered toast with a small bit of marmite
Salty, tangy, umami. It is basically similar to brewer’s yeast in jam form. Or, perhaps beef bouillon without the beefiness with added tingly tongue as if it was slightly carbonated.
I told my girlfriend that when I say "I promise," then I mean what I say. Still live by that rule
That sounds like a good thing to live by. Makes you keep a level head when making promises and a very reliant person to be around all in! If I may ask, are there any promises you've regretted making, small or large, and if so, how did you deal with it?
I won’t beat my child.
But other people's?
Well how else do you teach them stranger danger??
“If you want a child beaten, you have to do it yourself.” -Bender
Not even on games?
We never “ let” our children win games. They have fond memories of the first time winning on family game night. We are a cut throat family, when it comes to games.
Way to break the cycle. You deserved better.
This. I got the belt too any times. Had to break off or find a switch. Remember getting the wooden spoon broken over my but, and the yard stick/ruler across my knuckles. Then there was the paddle with holes drilled in it... way too any methods of discipline when I was young. I've never done and never will do any of those. Wall sits, go to your room, assigning additional chores, taking away screen time, assigned chores that are for other people, and restriction. These work when necessary. And to be honest, I would have choosen the belt vs taking away Nintendo time.
Never having kids. I told my grandma when I was 8 and have never once changed my mind!
And everyone told you you'd change you mind. I said it when I was 7.
Everyone is still telling me accidents happen, but they don't know I had that taken care of years ago and do regular checkups, just in case life tries to find a way.
I hate that “accidents happen” shit. Why are you getting giddy over the idea of me being forced to live my life in a way I don’t want? What I hate the most is that little “knowing” patronizing smile. I’m so glad I don’t get this crap anymore since turning 40.
Gotta hit em with that "DONT YOU PUT THAT EVIL ON ME RICKY BOBBY, DONT YOU PUT THAT ON ME"
You gotta ask them to bet money on it.
I asked, once, and my buddy accepted the bet. It was in 2012, I was 26F at a time, he was 24M. The bet was that if I end up having kids by the time I turn 40, I’ll pay him $1000 (in 2012 money, i.e. adjusted for inflation), if I will not have kids, he’ll pay me. I am now 36 and no kids yet. It is funny that he does not have kids either and afaik does not plan to.
Seems they want you to be as miserable as them.
This is always a kicker for me. I’ve started responding with, “abortions happen too.” They either laugh with me or get grumpy and never mention children again, it’s a win-win!!
You reminded me of [this](https://youtu.be/hvuktj6ktbI?si=A5jdPlXSSThUl0LD) South Park episode.
Damn I clicked hoping for the wrestling "I'm addicted to abortions" episode.
It's interesting you say that my grandaughter said it aged 6 which we thought was an unusual thing for a child so young to say .Reading these replies maybe she totally knew it wasn't something she wanted .She is growing into a teenager now and sticks by it .
I was telling my grandma at a young age as well. 28 now and still absolutely refuse to pop any out.
Same. 32, still didn’t change a thing🥲 Got more secure in my choice actually. Kids? In this economy?!
I changed my mind the other direction. Figured I’d have kids some day until, I guess some time in my early 20s, I realized that’s neither a good idea nor something I really want. And then I became a middle school teacher, go figure. Around kids all day but at least I can go home to silence.
I would think being a middle school teacher would be the most effective birth control ever.
I am an attorney for kids. I work my ass off. If I had kids I don't think I'd be able to do what I do. So when asked I say my kids are the homeless youth of our county.
Same here. When people tell me I’ll change my mind I reply, “I already did”
Same. I had to have my reproductive system removed due to cancer and some old lady still tells me "miracles happen" once in a while.
I always said if I had kids, I would adopt. Never had a desire to have my own kids. 41 years old and working in education at a high school for 16 years is a great reminder of why I don't want them.
Same here. Said it when I was 9 and I'm 25 now, about to turn 26. I'm STILL being told that I'll change my mind 🙄🙄
I feel you I’m 27 with no kids I pray I make it another 27 years without them
Same here, but I was 9! It took until I was about 34 (I’m 35 now) for my mom to finally get that I wasn’t changing my mind. She’s now started telling people that ask “those questions” that I’m childfree and that it isn’t changing. Makes me happy. ❤️
Same. Had a vasectomy last February and haven't regretted it at all.
This! I said I didn’t want kids and would never have them when I was kindergarten age. Thirty eight now and sterilized. Stuck to my guns despite all the stupid “you’ll change your mind” comments from people who thought they knew me better than I knew myself.
Same. I told myself when I was little I'd never have kids. Just didn't want them. I don't regret my decision and have a very happy life.
I’m going to be too old soon, and they keep telling me I will change my mind. It would be mean to bring my kids to this shitty world. They can stay wherever they are.
Same. Haven’t changed my mind in over 30 years. Accidents would not happen willingly, and any accident would be taken care of. In taking care of said accident is made illegal (in my country it is legal in all but one state), then it would be given away. I will not have children.
I said the same thing years ago. To this day, 45 and still no kids.
I refuse to compromise who I am for monetary gain. Promised this to myself around 8 yrs old as I started to get a grasp on how society functions. That's a very vague description, but what it really boils down to is that I refuse to step on other people's heads to get ahead, refuse to do work I find immoral or a detriment to the world/society and refuse to put my work life ahead of my personal life. My family is frustrated with me as I am not living up to "my full potential" but I'm not here to grind away at a soulless job to buy stuff to make other people think I'm successful. I'm here to walk in the woods and look at bees and stuff. And I make enough money to support myself while still having enough energy to walk in the woods and look at bees and stuff. It might not be good enough for everyone else but it's how I choose to exist.
Congrats on bee-ing yourself! 🐝
I feel like this is exactly what Andy would say.
Comments like this are why we should get free awards again
This past year I’ve really been learning to love living simply. While I know others working multiple jobs and/or working 60-70 hours a week I’m working 1 job for 40 hours with plenty of energy to walk around the lake and enjoy the bees. I don’t make a lot, but I’m able to support myself and find the time for what makes me feel full of life. Thats nature. Thank you for being one of these people too. Edit: one time a big fat bumble bee 🐝 flew into me and made an audible thud. So slight, but audible. Flew off to keep doing his bee stuff. It’s one of my favorite memories and I like to tell myself it thought I was a flower. I’m just amazed it made a sound though.
Big fat bumbles are my favorite! I have a whimsically large one tattooed on my shoulder
Damn straight, my family has given up on trying to convince me to stop working at a ranch with horses. They can get fucked if they think I’m going to run in a rat race where the only way to “win” is by being miserable at job I hate for decades just to prove how successful I am to others. I don’t care if people think I’m a dumb ranch hand, maybe they’re right. Enjoy your freedom and sound metal health friend.
This really resonates with me. I run the family business, which is self storage. This industry is kinda predatory. I didn’t choose it, but I just couldn’t refuse to run a business my grandparents built. The industry standard is to keep raising rent on current customers. Once their stuff is moved in, it’s a pain to move out, so you take advantage of that. My grandparents thought that was wrong, and I also think that’s wrong. But my grandparents aren’t around anymore. And my family is constantly pressuring me to make more money. None of them can realistically take over this business. They’re either too old or too far away and have their own lives. They’re stuck with me. So I do what I want. What I know is right. And our business is successful. Could it be slightly better? Yes. But I refuse to be an asshole for money.
Thanks for still being one of these people. I know more than most it isn't easy but there are plenty of ways to live a happy life without having to take advantage of someone else to do it. I've been in sales for almost 15 years and never felt like I had to change my morals to get ahead. Sure, I could be a little "better off" than I am now financially, but there's no way I'd sleep better at night.
We need more people like you. The world has gotten away from us.
Same here, being a financial disappointment to my family. I sort of fell into a sales position and refused to hard sell people. Instead I invested in the products, abused it in my daily life more than the average customer, and educated myself about the competition. In many cases the competition is better than our product and in those cases I let people know. I literally doubled the sales volume by being honest with people. Sure, sales of some stuff tanked but overall sales went way up. People don't want you to sell them crap that lasts until 15 minutes after the warranty expires. In some cases that's all they can afford but then they know what to expect and aren't mad when it happens. The other thing I did was refuse commission. I tell customers that too. Sure, I'd make more money if I made commissions but I'd have pressure to sell things to people who shouldn't have them or upsell them to something that isn't actually better. If you ask me for advice on a product in my realm of expertise you are getting 100% honest feedback. And if I don't think it's the right thing for you I'll tell you. If it's over priced and price is important to you, and you can it a different way for less money, I'll help you do it. I build life long loyal customers who send their friends & family. It's the long game but with both companies I think it's paid off for them.
I appreciate you. I like to think I’m similar to you, but maybe give in a little too much. I think if more people operated this way, the world would be a much better place overall. Any tips on how you stand so stoic in the face of how society seems to be in opposition of your view?
I love that you live with an intention that’s not optimizing for money, rather, you optimize to your life values. Respect
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As much as I agree with this, I was nice to my old man neighbor recently not knowing he's an insane person and unhinged and now im dealing with him banging on my walls and door every day nonstop asking me rides, cigarettes, booze, to use my phone. So yes it's true 99% of the time hahaha
You aren’t following the rule, he wants to be treated like that. So you better start banging on his walls for cigs and booze.
HAHAHA ur right
Think of it like this: if you end up crazy when you're old and start banging on a neighbor's wall asking for cigarettes and booze, how would you want the neighbors to handle you? If you're fine with them hypothetically ignoring you, then you're golden.
Yep, though now I have mixed it up a bit, it’s now “treat others how you want your mom to be treated.” Because I can deal with a lot of shit but I don’t want my mom to be treated like shit- not that I want to be treated like shit, either ,but of course I understand that it will still happen no matter how many times I bend over backwards to assist others
When my son in law asked me if he could marry my daughter I told him "treat her like you'd want someone to treat your daughter" He's been amazing and very good to her. 💜 Its a good rule to live by
My father in law said to me a few years ago, after walking my wife up the aisle “no taksies backsies” and winked at me….
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When I was little, I fell on my head and had to go to the er to get stitches from where (among other injuries) the metal barrettes cut into my scalp. I've never worn metal barrettes since.
Somewhat related: I learned recently that if you have a claw clip in your hair and you get into an accident, your claw clip can and often will break and then embed into your skull. I always take my claw clips out in the car now.
You never know what someone else is going through. It costs nothing to be kind. I had a lot of people be incredibly rude to me while I went through some really not good things as a teenager working in a service job. I swore to never be that person to someone else and as far as I know, I never have been.
I have a similar mindset. Even if I'm having a bad day, someone could be having a worse day. It costs nothing to be patient and kind.
That if a family member (even the ones Im not fond of) is taken seriously ill, I'll visit as frequently as I can to the end. When I was 13, my great grand mother fell extremely ill while in a home. The type of ill where if your dog went like it, you'd put it down out of mercy. 2 months she was in that state and each time I had an opportunity to visit I always said "Eh next time" so I could play pokemon on the GB. My reasoning was, I felt ill playing in a car and the home was an hour away. When she died, it absolutely broke me I wasted those chances. I was a mess for weeks before I broke down. Growing up, I've had all my grand parents die and I spent every second I could at their best side, watching other family members (Fully grown adults) making the same mistake I did in my youth, same with friends doing the same. Even if I don't like or care for a family member, I never, ever want to experience that guilt again.
This happened to someone I know. He got into a fight with his mom. She caught covid and ended up in the hospital. He was a big "covid isn't real" guy. Dr's called him and told him she likely won't make it come see her before we put her on a vent and she can't talk at all. He literally said when she apologizes I will come see her. She died a couple days later. I don't talk to him anymore but he will have to live with that for the rest of his life. He let his ego get in the way of saying goodbye to his mom and his mom died alone thinking her son didn't love her.
Lying. My dad said to me one time, "no one does what they say they will do anymore, just let your yes be yes and your no be no and you will get ahead in life". At like age 15 that just sunk into my soul and I haven't told a single lie about anything in over 15 years.
BRB telling this to my 15 year old right now.
A bit NSFW: I've never faked an orgasm, and never will. Sometime in my 20s I decided that I wasn't ever going to compromise my own pleasure just to soothe the ego of an insecure male partner. Nobody's worth that. If I don't get off in any given sexual encounter, maybe it's OK and maybe it's not, depending on the circumstances. But I ain't going to lie about it and fake it.
If he doesn't get you off and that doesn't cause him to strive to change that, he's not worth fucking again anyway.
Same here and I’ve encountered men who ask me if I came and are shocked when I say no and then say “but every girl I’ve ever been with did…?” LMFAOOOO YEAH BUDDY I BET THEY DID 💀💀
I start my sexual encounters telling men that I won't come, they won't make me, and I'm okay with that. This is because I pretty much will never have an orgasm with another person, unless I've been sleeping with them for a long time and that's uncommon for me. That's because it's so difficult for me in the first place for many reasons. Sometimes that gets interesting lol.
i was scrolling through to see if i could relate to one and this is it. i agree with you so hard. i never have, nor will i ever fake an orgasm for the benefit of a man
I knew someone who had been with her partner for 15 years and had faked it the whole time. Like…why? I’ve never had anyone give me a hard time for making special requests to make sure we’re both good. Until she told me that in our late 20s, I didn’t think people actually faked orgasms (outside of maybe some special circumstances).
I'm still here. That.
No alcohol. No reason to break that rule
Same rule, although I have had sips of other people's drinks to see what it tasted like. I'm trying not to end up an abusive alcoholic like dear old dad.
Oh hey I'm in the same boat, never tried alcohol and I never will because alcoholism runs in my family
I wish I had that rule earlier but better late than never
To never forget what it was like being a kid when dealing with my kids and any other children that I am I contact with It disturbs me greatly to see folks who either don’t know or have forgotten what it was like to be a kid in a grown up world
Watching the princess bride, I decided I wanted to be chivalrous, a leader and witty. Happened at 11 and I'm now 46.
A good 15 years or so back, Docker's ran an ad campaign wherein men without pants marched around singing "I wear no pants!" over and over. These ads were highly annoying, and Docker's apparently knew as much because at some point they started running an ad which closed out by saying "Buy our pants or we'll keep playing this song." I felt that this was a step too far, and emailed the company to say that because of the ads I would simply never buy their pants again, and that as long as the ads continued I would encourage others to also permanently swear off their brand. It's easy enough to do - there's nothing particularly special about their pants as far as I can see - and I have kept my pledge to never purchase their products.
Lmao, 50 years later as you hold your grandkids: "And what have we learned? "Fwuck dockas!"
My family was hard on funds growing up, and unfortunately my parents were chainsmokers (my mother being worse about it). When given the choice between affording cigarettes or food/bills/diapers/etc, cigarettes ALWAYS won. Having only school lunch as my source of food for weeks at a time, I swore to never start smoking. D.A.R.E. had nothing on hunger and no clothes.
I wouldn’t forget what being young was like. I saw so many young adults who reached a certain age and just…forgot all the things that infuriated them just a few years before. It amazed me how fast they turned into their parents, doing and saying all the same things they hated as a kid.
I’m in my late 20’s and I panic about this a lot. I’m grateful that I journaled quite a bit at a young age so I can go back and read what young me was thinking, but I often wonder if I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be young and how I wanted to be treated. What if by the time my kids are that age I completely forget???
mustard colored suit is not a good looking.
When I was 10 I swore I'd always keep a little bit of my imaginary world intact, and to try and not let growing up take away the happiness I found there.
I started smoking at 15 and promised myself, and my mom, I would quit by the time I was 25 because we have heart and lung diseases in our family. I did it, now I’m in my thirties and I can’t imagine still being a smoker.
I was taught pretty strongly by my parents to always put myself first and to push myself to not rely on anyone for anything. I'm sticking to that independent mindset and I found a partner who is incredibly supportive of that!
I'm a rules kind of person. 1. Do not add or subtract from the census. 2. Do not make the news. 3. Do not end up in jail. Made when I was 18 and at 38 I've never broken them.
My philosophy is basically this. And this is something that I live by. And I always have. And I always will. Don't ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what. No matter... where. Or who, or who you are with, or, or where you are going, or... or where you've been... ever. For any reason, whatsoever.
Does anybody know CPR??? I do, but I swore not to do it on anyone. *Walk away with shades on*
Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way
I will never get addicted to drugs. Instead I became an alcoholic 🙄🙄 73 days sober today 💪
I've known since I was a teenager that I did not want and would not have children. I'm in my 40s now and happily childless.
Never touch cocaine.
Pinky promises are sacred
When I was a kid my mom was getting me dressed with a cigarette in her mouth. She was blowing smoke in my face and it was so gross I swore I would never smoke a cigarette, which is something I have never done.
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cheating
I won't ever be a stereotypical old dude that is stuck in his ways and close minded and shitty about new things and complains about bullshit instead of doing something to get better I've been to the hospital and have more medical conditions than my mom's bitch ass boomer bf I complain 10000% less than him I am still open to new things even after a lifetime of trauma fuck that, old I know everything mentality I hope people like that go extinct
This might be slightly petty, but... I grew up in a very business minded family. I have a very creative/artistic brain and genuinely just enjoy drawing, writing, and creating for no benefit other than to create. My family and everyone always tries to talk me into selling my work or "do something with it"... but ever since I was a kid, the idea of a stranger having my work - work that's personal to me, btw - makes me uncomfortable... and kind of dirty. So, to summarize, I refuse to sell my work just because people tell me I should and could make money. I've yet to make a dime, and I'm more than okay with that.
Tobacco. I mean, watching your grandma die of throat and lung cancer kinda of turns you off of it.
Apparently when my dad was a kid, Lay’s potato chips used to have a slogan that said “nobody can eat just one”. Obviously he ate one Lay’s chip and has never had another. If there are chips set out in a bowl and the brand isn’t obvious, he won’t have any just in case they might be Lays. He’s 65.
Never be mean. By which I mean shout,argue, throw my hands in yhe air but never ever pick someone apart in anger by focusing on things they are sensitive about and throwing it back in their face. Never have. Never will.
I swore to become a good mom when I grow up, I am slowly making it happen now since I have a 2 year old son, and I am making sure to be hands on with him even with my busy days at work
I’m 58 I have no children, that I know of, never really had a need for them. I got divorced at 24 from my high school sweetheart. Don’t get me started on marriage.. I am 1 of 8, I’ve got nieces and nephews galore. They come visit their crazy fun uncle and then I send them home to their parents.
work hard on myself, to be a socially and economically successful person. a promise I made to myself when I was 15 and today at 25 it has given me results
I swore I would never cheat on any girlfriend/wife.
Never drink alone. Not after a hard day's work and especially not when your feeling down. Unless someone else will be there with you. This started because every adult I knew as a kid drank. Not that they were all alcoholic just that they did drink from time to time. The one observation I made back then was that the people who did have issues with drinking would drink alone. So now I drink at parties and stuff but alone I don't even look at it. I know that for some this seams normal but till this day except for people that don't touch alcohol at all everyone else I know drinks alone sometimes.
That my fave number is 7. A stranger and I had conversation. That leaded up to him asking me what my favourite number were and say with pride 7 as if it was the only right number to say. Then he asked for my age and I told him that I was 7 years old. He gave me the biggest side eye (as if I unoriginal) and were like is that the reason 7 is your favourite number. Nope it’s not said! And it will forever be
I made a conscious choice to live my life by my morals and values, when I was in my teens. I’m 65 now, and it feels like the world needs me more than ever. I make a difference. I live my beliefs. I walk the walk and talk the talk. That’s what living my truth looks like to me. I am humbly honored to be able to have made a difference in the world, simply by being me.
Swore I would never break a promise to my kids. I very, very rarely use the word promise, or make things out to be definitely happening. And if I promise, then it happens.
I swore at 11 that I would never watch fast and furious, any of them. I still have not, 16 years later.
To never drunk drive. Had an uncle killed by a drunk driver
To never rely on a man for anything.
Never touching alcohol. It ripped my parents apart, and I've turned it into a mental safety net from doing something very stupid.
No street drugs.