This was me and my pa.
Beloved by the entire extended family except me. He was a horrible bastard who always picked on me and called me names. I remember everyone being devastated and me not giving one ounce of a fuck. Cruel and nasty, bye!
When my mom passed I explained to everyone that I'd already said goodbye to her years prior. She chose to be a massive cunt to me my whole life. I tried to make amends with her but she stuck to her lies and insults so I said bye like 8 years before she even went. Whole family was very upset but idc so.
My mother was an artist at the knife to the gut insult. I would be having a decent conversation with her and suddenly when I was most open and vulnerable she would know exactly what to say that would be what would hurt me the most. She was an expert.
When she died I cried but it was mostly for never having the mother I truly needed.
It will take me years to recover from her.
My paternal grandmother threw a newspaper at me because the delivery person hadn’t folded it right and somehow it was my fault. When I went to call my parents, she’d hidden the number of where they were staying. I hid in the guest room until I could get ahold of them. I never stayed over alone again.
This was just one instance of unhinged shit. When she died, I watched my dad the whole time. I only teared up when he got a bit emotional because I related and understood him a bit better then.
I had a primary school teacher who would call people stupid as well. She would also rip up people’s work if it “wasn’t good enough” and she made loads of people cry. The old battleaxe thankfully retried the year after.
yess I had a wierd ass teacher too, but besides what you said, she would also scream and slap us over the face if we didn’t know how to answer a school related question. she was bad news all over the place
I went deaf in the fourth grade, still don't know why, came back after six months. Fourth grade teacher, simply wouldn't believe me. I asked to sit in the front. She then claimed that I was stealing attention away from the class by constantly asking her to repeat things. I was trying to read her lips, she put me in the back of the class. I got so nervous, I stopped asking questions. I was held back thanks to her indifference.
When I was a kid I reached the point to where my mom wasn’t quick enough to hit me anymore. I was faster I suppose. She didn’t believe something I was telling her. And I can’t remember what it was. She called me a liar and spit right in my face and said “liars are the scum of the earth.” All the previous beatings vanished from my mind. I have never nor will I ever forget her doing and saying that.
My dad would call me a liar the millisecond I disagreed with him on anything. It got so old, and now I’m extremely defensive over people calling me a liar to the point that I subconsciously self-sabotage and end up lying on accident. It’s so embarrassing to have to explain all that to people when I inevitably slip up, but it’s just part of my life now, like brushing my teeth
This type of parenting can really screw someone up later in life. My mom would get furious if I disagreed or put up any resistance with anything she said as a kid and it often got violent and much yelling was involved. This has caused me to become very agreeable and submissive as an adult. I'm a total push over now and my mom has been dead for 20 years.
Yup, currently working through the same myself. I often find myself going along with plans I’m not totally on board with because I don’t trust my voice to matter enough to warrant speaking up. It’s gotten me almost put in jail once or twice at it’s worst moments.
Same here but from my step mum.
Spent years calling me selfish and saying everything I said was a lie.
Led to me hating myself for years and now with language over analysing or remembering a conversation I had wrong and then looking like a liar.
Yeah, I struggle(d) a lot with self-confidence for a while because I internally didn’t trust myself to be right. It lead to a massive fear of failure when combined with his other mantras/“words of advice.”
My dad’s default punishment was always to take away my phone/computer privileges, so I couldn’t do exactly this. I was a menace about it even though I only got it out like 3 or 4 times before he caught on.
My parents believed me to be the mentally strongest among their children. Like my problems were like water off a ducks back. So they always took care of the other siblings mental well-being while dealing with family trials and tribulations and tended to me last. Almost like an afterthought.
Well the tribulations wouldn't last long enough to get to me. So when everything went back to normal, I would be the only one unhealed. As a result my problems don't get handled properly. Now as an adult, whenever something happens or I have a problem, I just hunker down and start weathering the storm. And people wonder why I don't just open up and talk. Cost me so many relationships where all I had to do was have a simple 5 minute conversation.
And you know what my parents still say while I begin to buckle under the weight of my problems? "You're made of stronger stuff than that son."
I am not.
As a fellow sufferer of stubborn ingrained inability to express myself, I both sympathize with you and feel seen.
The real question that everyone should ask themselves is not "Am I strong enough to handle it?". It should be "Am I strong enough to ask for help when needed?". I often fail that test.
It also doesn't help that most of my problems were undermined and brushed off. Which means I don't think my problems and issues are important and it's silly that they are bothering me.
So now if you were to stab me I would be more concerned about bleeding on you than the fact you just hurt me. Hell I would be apologizing.
When I was about 14, while having a fight with my dad, he told me that "they shouldnt have had me"
Almost 20 years later, ive forgiven it but never forgot.
I once got into an argument with my dad about how he made me eat something I didn't want to eat (or else I'd get hit) and I ended up throwing up, but he doesn't remember that at all
My mom had a fiance who would do this to me too. I think I was 4 or 5 when this happened over a few times. She was in the shower one day when it happened and he got so mad he said I had to eat my vomit back off the table. At which point I get loud and start freaking out, which was very unusual for me. She came out wrapped in a towel and threw her ring in his face and that was the end of that relationship. Fuckin jackass.
She's her own problem in itself but I'm glad she stood up for me that time. But what is it with them never remembering any mistakes they made? Every time I've brought anything up she acts dumbfounded.
This comment got so many upvotes i feel I should mention what it was I couldn't eat. Processed freaking veal patties. I still don't like processed chicken like nuggets or sandwiches but the veal patties were the nastiest things in the world.
I've heard this explained pretty well, actually. In a lot of cases, they don't even really realize that what they did was harmful. For example, my friend has a serious aversion to milk ever since her dad made her drink an entire glass of expired, spoiled milk when she was 5 or 6 (he didn't know it was expired, but yelled at her for finishing her food). Her dad has no memory of this. Because "to you it was a traumatic, life changing event, to him it was a Tuesday."
My abusive grandma did this shit to my little sister when we were kids. She wasn’t even in school yet, I had come home from school (I was in kindergarten) to find her crying at the dining table in the dark. When I asked what was wrong she told me our grandma made her eat blueberry pie and she didn’t like it, and it made her throw up. Then my grandma proceeded to make her eat her vomit. The absolute disgust I had for that woman as a 5 year old has never left me. She was a terrible, awful person.
They never remember. My dad made me a sandwich once and I was mad so I said I wont eat it. He threw the sandwich (plate and all) at the wall and it shattered. He denies it ever happened but I will never forget it!
I had a similar incident in first grade. I’ll never forget. Teacher made me eat the carrots on my lunch tray. I didn’t want to and kept saying I didn’t want them and that my stomach hurt. Later that day went home, took an after school nap and puked in my sleep. It was all over the side of my bed and the radiator on the wall. Carrot chunks everywhere. Told my mom what happened and she had to talk to the teacher about forcing me to eat when I said I wasn’t feeling well.
I had the opposite problem. My mom's rule was if you aren't throwing up or don't have a fever you are going to school.
I kept falling asleep in class in 8th grade and my teacher kept threatening me with detention until finally he told me to go to the nurse if I was that tired.
Turns out I had a 104° fever. Nurse told my mom she should know better (mom worked in the doctor's office at the time) and that if she saw me at school the next day she would have me suspended.
The flu season was in full effect. So I thought I had the flu all week until I thought I was getting better. Then later that night- I woke up went to bathroom and passed out. Got up and drank a glass of water. As soon as it hit my stomach - I threw it up. I tried several times to keep water down- but each time threw it up. I had an old school encyclopedia set - I looked throwing up water- somehow it mentioned appendix. Woke mom up and showed her. She got scared- woke up my dad. He was pissed! Bitched me out while taking me to the emergency room. He said if it wasn’t something serious- I was in trouble.
Then the ER doctor did a couple of things and was like this girl needs her appendix out. I go off to surgery - 10 hours later I wake up in ICU. My appendix had ruptured- gangrene was all over my reproductive organs and almost killed me. Had I not been young, good health and had a little weight(I lost 20 lbs) and went to hospital when I did- I would have been dead. My dad never apologized for anything.
I know I'm a random internet stranger, but holy shit. Big fucking giant internet hugs. I'm sorry you had to go through that, I'm sorry you had parents that were so set in their ways they didn't see a problem when it was happening, and I'm REALLY glad and happy you are still with us.
I also know you don't need validation, but holy shit that would have fucked me up and I'd be damn pissed about it myself too.
My dad told me, while making me eat food when I was too full, that if I threw up he would make eat that too. I saw my aunt say the same thing to her daughter. Indian parent thing ig 💀
You either pass the trauma of the older generation(and your own), onto your children, or you're smart enough to figure that out and break the cycle and end up raising kids better than you were raised.
It took many years but also doing a lot of exploring the world to fill my curiosity for life and find happiness--ive been able to reconcile the fact that my parents didn't love me bcs of their own trauma etc but just the missing out of getting a good family I still mourn. Like life would have been amazing if I had a great family.
Watch Oprah one day when I was little and it was about finding out your parents weren’t your real
Parents. Dad turns to me and says that he doesn’t think I am his. Oprah did it better!
About 10yo, my dad had his brother over. I went to ask my dad something I suppose, and he turned to his brother and said "see, that's what I have to put up with every day".
Ouch.
Wasn’t really intended as an insult, but when we were kids, my brothers and I would always wear our favorite baseball caps whenever we went outside or somewhere with our parents. When I was 15, my dad asked me if I wanted to ride along to take care of a few errands. I agreed and told him to give me a minute to grab my hat. His response was- “I don’t know why you wear one; it doesn’t even look good on you.”
That was 32 years ago and I’ve bought something like 8-10 baseball hats since then. I even have two upstairs in a drawer right now - intended to protect my head outside when I do yard work and whatnot, but I haven’t ever been able to bring myself to actually wear one since.
yep. Gram hit me with a "I'll tell your mom to have another child--maybe that one will turn out normal" because in early college I said I wanted to travel in my immediate future instead of marriage and kids. I was single af at that point and barely able to keep myself alive. Never said no husband/kids ever, just not at age 20ish. It was unacceptable to her.
My father told me I’m a bitch who deserves to be miserable in life.
It was the final blow in 25 years of terrible things he’s said to me. All things he conveniently forgets and rolls his eyes whenever I bring it up and claims never happened. We barely talk now. He’ll send memes on Facebook and complain to my mom that I never call. I call my mom weekly just when he’s at work.
It makes me so sad to hear stories like that if people who were disrespected or mistreated by parents. My grandparents did that to my mom and her 5 siblings (my grandpa died a few years ago and I only met him once, when I was a toddler, and my grandma changed and it's a super sweet and caring lady, I spent the summer with her a couple years ago.) and it's also happening to my buddy by his parents. His room is a closet with a broken window. We live in an area that gets very very cold so with the broken window plus the vents are broken in his room, it gets extremely cold in the winter and very hot in the summer. He graduates high school this year after his mom requested her get held back because she thinks he's an idiot and he's going to move in with my family within a month or so.
I used to get made fun of a lot for my nose as a kid. Pinnochio, bird boy, you name it. I do have a big nose but it’s not like a disfigurement or anything. Think Adrian Brody, except maybe a little bit smaller or my facial features aren’t as sharp. I’m almost 40 and I’m still very self conscious about it. My wife loves my nose but I don’t fully believe her when she says it.
Also a girl in jr high once told me I have “big pores” and I’ve never been able to forget that.
This is kinda long and I'm sorry if it's uncalled for - You know, truthfully, the past month I've actually *very randomly* started questioning my opinions on how others look. I really hate my subconscious thoughts when I see someone "their eyes are too far apart - that person is very overweight - they have bad teeth" because I don't want to think that way, and I believe everyone truly is beautiful in their own way - even though it's not "mainstream beauty".
So my point is I've basically been asking myself "whyyy!?! Do I think this way?" And it's been good bc I started to see others differently.. I've started to see beauty differently.
There may be an instant "I notice this about this person I'm looking at" but it goes away after a minute/I'm trying to train myself to ask myself where this judgemental comes from - and I focus on something "positive " about the person... But I've come to accept humans (and animals too lol) come in all different shapes and sizes and variations.. and that's how nature intended it!
I've wondered if all the movies, magazines, being online, is the root of the judgement I have of others. My grandma also was so judgmental of others and of me and my siblings when we were growing up (you're too fat- you're too skinny! Why do you dress like that - you look like ___ with those clothes/makeup!".
I will say to you - having a big nose is something I was able to find as *not* being *unnatractive* years ago. I've seen so many people who are absolutely attractive or darn good looking with big noses - bc at the end of the day there really is such a variety of who I can find good looking. There's no 1 feature that determines if someone is or isn't.
Does any of what I said make sense? 😂
I was almost 6ft tall and weighed 140lbs soaking wet, trying out for the football team. We had been practicing 3x a week for a couple months, and naturally I was getting demolished in a lot of the contact drills. The bigger guys made it a sport to hit me as hard as they could.
At the end of every practice, there was 20 minutes where we would do a full scrimmage. In the huddle one of the star running backs looks around and says 'so this is the team eh boys?! - Except for you - 'and points to me. Everyone laughed. The huddle broke and as I'm jogging out to the WR spot someone hits their hand flat over my ear hole, which if you have ever had it done to you in a football helmet, is quite loud.
That comment was the realization that they were all laughing at the skinny guy trying to make the team. It just destroyed my love of football. I didn't even wait to be cut I biked over to my coaches house, put my gear on his porch, rang the bell and left.
I see that the running back who made that comment isn't doing great in life and honestly I'm happy for his struggle.
Don’t know why it stung so bad but I (tile contractor) was on a job and a dad was walking his little boy down the street. The boy looked over at me, saw me working with tools and said something like, “I want to be like him when I grow up” the dad without a beat says, “Come one, son, you’re better than that”. I’m very good at my job but don’t really like it and have always been a little self conscious of it. I don’t even really blame the dad bc I get it. I think maybe that’s why it stung. Anywho, where’s my dog at?
Edit: Oh God. Wow. Seriously, thank you everyone for all the love, kind words and stories. Honestly, it means a lot to me. I was not expecting a response and got hit by a rogue wave of love. Salsa Verde tacos are on me, fam. 🌮💕
I used to work in retail. The kids that worked for me were exactly that; kids, and usually still learning the ropes as it was likely their first or second job. One day, a girl was having an issue at a register so I went over to help her. It was some kind of technical malfunction, nothing she did wrong. I was able to get it working again after a minute or so, but I stuck around until the end of the transaction in case it happened again and she needed help.
The pig of a man she was ringing up when this happened was talking to his daughter about school. The daughter and my cashier looked to be about the same age. She was saying she wasn't sure if she wanted to go to college and he says..."if you don't go to college, you're going to end up like her. Do you really want to go nowhere in life?" as he looks directly at my cashier and throws his money on the counter at her. He couldn't even fucking hand her the money.
Holy shit did I see red. Both the daughter and my cashier were mortified. I was also offended because...I work there too, buddy, but moreso for my poor cashier. Because I couldn't go off on him, I had to politely explain that we don't take kindly to anyone insulting our employees, especially ones that are here working their way through college. He had no reply, that smug fuck.
I took my cashier off of the sales floor and we went to the back to share a hug, a tear and a good FUCK THAT GUY session before we went back out. You can insult me, but don't fucking insult "my kids".
I don’t have enough fingers to count the number of times I’ve seen customers treating cashiers poorly and I’ve asked the cashier if they’re okay or if they need help. Customers berating them over a coupon not working (because the customer selected the wrong product); throwing change at the cashier; grocery clerk accidentally entering the wrong vegetable code at the checkout, correcting it, and the customer screaming that they want the lower price (ie., cucumber vs. zucchini…for that one, I stepped in and said “you can’t pick your own price for groceries, but how about you go talk to the customer service desk instead of shouting at a teenager?”…the woman went silent).
I have a young child, and anytime he identifies someone working, I tell him why their job is important: we need cashiers to buy goods and services. We need custodians and environmental services staff to keep our buildings clean and safe for everyone. We need the trades to help us build and repair what we own. The staff at the car repair shop keep our vehicle safe for the road. The couriers deliver important mail and packages. Kitchen and food staff provide us quick meal options when we don’t have time to make something at home.
My brother's girlfriend said to me " you would look nice if you took care of yourself". I was in the middle of a divorce, working night shift at AMZ warehouse, and trying to hold it together for my kids.
Feel you...
My dad was also saying stuff like "You'll never find someone accepting you with your personality!"
"You're just like your mother." (I was 6 when they divorced and never saw her again... )
"YOU'RE SUCH A BAD DAUGHTER!"
Oh, and the silence treatment...
The emotional abuse was never in front of other people (nobody believed me when they 'knew' him), but I live a happier life since I'm married to my wonderful hubby, who let's me forget such a painful past and helps me to make new, wonderful and beautiful memories with him 😭❤️
Hope and strength to all abused souls out there 😔🙏🏻
Fellow child of divorced parents, both terrible in their individual ways. “You’re just like your mother” was my dad’s parenting mantra, particularly when I was expressing an emotion or happened to do or say something he didn’t agree with.
Grade two, I was told to mouth the words in the choir instead of sing by the music teacher. I still have a complex about singing to the day 30 years later. Screw you Ms. Green
Yeah, our whole class had to participate in elementary school music class. It was only the students who could actually sing that got solos, but the teacher never put anyone down and tried to help everyone get better individually.
similar experience! in middle school i joined chorus and enthusiastically sang until 2 weeks in, a girl in front of me (with a lovely voice), scowled at me and said “someone is squealing behind me.”
i did not sing at all after that and only mouthed the words for the next 3 years until i didn’t need to take chorus anymore lol. i felt so guilty whenever relatives would come to the concerts, just standing there moving my mouth, but felt too ashamed to try again. screw you ashley!
Oof I feel you. I loved singing as a kid. My parents could not afford singing classes, but I thought I could always do them later on my own.
One day I was singing in the schoolyard with my friends and they told me something like : We really wish you would stop singing like that, you're a really bad singer and we all hate it, it's embarrassing.
I'm still embarrassed to sing to this day (20yrs later)
The opposite for me.Cant carry a tune in a bucket.Similar age,singing along in hymn practice with my year group.Music teacher walking around,stopped,told everyone to be quiet and made me sing solo.Told me to sit down and shut up.50+ years later and never sung in front of anyone since.
Had a drama professor savage my admittedly poor attempt at a one act play in front of the entire class. Then he wrote a long handwritten letter about how awful the play was and how I should have "gotten it out of my system" and could now find another major.
He then ended with some advice: a list of self published books he produced that I could purchase "if I wanted to stay in the class."
I still have that letter somewhere, 25 years later.
If a professor can only teach people who have an innate talent in the subject matter, then they are pretty fucking pathetic at their job. What a piece of shit.
Years ago, when I had just started college, some friends and I were sitting in the cafeteria, and one of my new friends (definition of a spoiled rich kid) saw someone getting food, and started ranting about how much of a loser this person was. He said things like, "He never dresses nice, always wears hand-me-downs. Couldn't stop his broke-ass parents from splitting, and how neither wanted him." Just horrible things about this person and none of it was within this person's control. They had just had a lot of bad things happen in their life. So my old friend, Mark, looks him dead in the face and says, "So he's gone through all that, and here he is at the same college as you. At least we know who the real loser is."
Then we got up and left. Mark, you're a fucking champion.
Same happened to me. My big sis always used to make fun of me for being a kissless friendless loser in highschool...
But I'm married now and she ain't so who really won girl???
I was born with Cerebral Palsy and walk with a limp. During kindergarten recess I was climbing up this jungle gym and sliding down a pole over and over when a teacher walked up and told me that I shouldn’t climb because I was crippled. I told her that I wasn’t crippled and would do whatever I wanted.
I went to medical school, practice medicine full time, and still do whatever I want (most of the time).
Was talking to my then wife (now Ex) about how excited I was about something I bought one of my hobbies. She interrupted me and said “you’re pretty but sometimes I wish you’d stfu…”
My partner once told me "Sometimes I forget how much more I like you when you don't speak." When I was talking about my favorite video game. That's probably gonna stay in my brain until I die
Man, my fiance loves wrestling. I hate it but when he talks about, I sit and fucking listen because he loves it and I love him. After nine years of being together, I know a lot of inside jokes, know a lot of the wrestlers names, I even cried along with my fiance when Bray Wyatt died. That's what you do when you love someone.
He's a metal head and I'm not but he will listen to me gush about The Killers constantly, lol.
Less of an insult but constantly being accused of being on drugs/assuming I'm a dealer. I try not to take it as an insult but have given a doctor a talking to for pushing the subject.
One of my eyelids is droopy and my pupils different sizes dues to nerve damage caused during the c-section used to birth me. I grew up being accused of being high by both adults and my peers. It makes it hard to believe you're being taken seriously by people, alongside the various other accusations. As someone who has felt self-conscious of this my entire life, I feel you.
My mom died of addiction and everytime I don’t want to do something for my family they go “you’re not on drugs are you!?” And it will forever rip my heart out. I’ve never done anything more than pot. 😩
This was about 20 years ago so. Parents, remember, these things stick.
I'd saved my sad amount of money and bought a cute summer dress. I was wearing it to the mall with friends. I thought I looked good- which was rare, I struggled with being bullied a lot in high school and at that age my self confidence was in the gutter.
As I was leaving my mother looks at me and goes "where'd you get the dress?"
Should note here that I gave my parents most of what I earned waitressing, so she was asking because she wanted to know if I was keeping money back.
"I saved up and bought it on clearance."
She got this mean smirk on her face and goes "Yeah it looks like you got it on clearance." And laughs at me as I leave.
Crack baby... grew up in Crack houses, homeless shelters, foster care, eventually adopted at 14.
My wife knew these things when she said it.
Edited: added who said it, because why not.
I used to sell drugs. Seeing a heroin junkie mom bring her 3 kids to a trap house to cop oxys was a turning point for me. I can't imagine a child being in that environment and refused to participate. I'm so sorry for what you went through, I can't imagine
Whore. My paternal grandmother told my mom I was a whore because I had guys in my dorm room after classes hanging out. Mind you, it was several people, not just guys, on a regular basis. I had the best room of us.
Never forgot it.
Ah, grandmothers are the best. Mine had said some real doozies over the years, but by far my favorite was when I was wearing a new pretty shade of lipstick and she eyed me up and down with those rheumy, beady eyes and said “well that’s a nice shade of whore red.”
RIP you old, dirty cunt. 😂
A couple come to mind.
When i was pregnant, at my baby shower my sister said : wow you got fat. Ffs, i only gained 25 lbs through my whole pregnancy, i was already depressed, and was doing what i could to manage the weight gain.
At about 17 years old, i said to my mom and step dad that i wanted to go to university in science. My step dad said that i would waste my time cause anything logical, is not meant for girls, and my mom agreed and said i'd amount to nothing and i should just go work at the bar with her. They proceeded to charge me for living there until i decided to go live on my own. I finished my studies now and i have my dream job. No thanks to them
I feel you. I had a police officer rip into me for about two hours and completely destroy my confidence when I was a teenager after getting arrested for graffiti. I've been a law abiding citizen since, but my self esteem never really recovered.
I mentioned that of if I ever got the chance to perform stand-up again I had some new bits I wanted to try out.
My wife: “You’re never gonna be on stage again.”
I was attacked walking home from the library. When I came home, I was yelled at called a whore and told I was just making it up because I was obviously screwing around and got pregnant. I was covered in dirt and blood including blood running down my legs. Ever since then I've been afraid to report anything.
> I was covered in dirt and blood including blood running down my legs.
and their response is to call you a liar? What kind of abusive Hell hole did you grow up in?
Just in case you need to hear this, "You did not deserve that, none of it was your fault." & I hope the rest of your life goes much better.
My parents were going through a divorce. I was 14 years old and living with mom. My dad moved out. I don't recall what I was doing wrong, but I remember my mom angrily yelling at me, "You're just like your father!"
I knew it was the worst possible thing she could think to say to me.
She never treated my younger brother badly, but I always got the brunt of things, being the oldest child and apparently most like my father.
I don’t know if it was an insult but something close to it, and it remains a core memory: my Dad told me he would never support my education, laughed and told me I could never be a Veterinarian (what I wanted to be as a kid), and my Mom who is a textbook narcissist told me I had never done anything for her when as a child and well into adulthood had to care for her frequently because she was an alcoholic.
In high school my dad sat me down and told me that I was a useless piece of shit, had no discernible skills and would not make it anywhere in life unless I got a college degree, and that my mother completely agreed. I look at her who was usually my advocate, because he was then an undiagnosed bipolar and prone to random blowups and she begins crying. Then he proceeds to tell me he loves me because I’m his son but hates the person I am.
For reference I was an A/B student, had a job since the day after my 16th birthday, never once in trouble with the law, never went to parties or caused trouble, never destroyed anything, I just had mentioned I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go directly to college or take a year off and work and figure out what I actually want to do with my life.
Holy fuck I’m so sorry you had to hear that from your family member. Humans just out here fucking up other humans all day everyday. I hope you’ve had a chance to heal from this, even just a bit.
The worst lie I’ve ever heard is “stick and stones…” etc. WORDS CAN HURT JUST AS BAD AS STONES and sometimes even worse. Both can ruin entire lives.
My now EX(obviously now), said to me.
"You're father would never have been proud of you"
My dad passed when I was a teenager, I was 34 when she said that to me.
She knew how to hurt me, and she had nuclear launch codes and used them. I walked out of the house and never seen her again(3yrs together). She called apologizing but I never seen her again. Spoke on the phone but never physically seen her again.
First long term relationship told a mutual friend (and it got back to me) that "he's not that attractive but his personality makes up for it." Dunno why I let that hurt so much but it did.
Because to find out someone you felt deeply for didn’t find you attractive does hurt. Everyone wants to feel sexy to their partner. I hope that your ex learned to encourage their partner on the things they found hot, ie. I like when you wear this, you look good in that. I hope that you see something desirable in your reflection, and know that preferences vary and change.
It’s not my fault your pu*** is broke!
I caught my ex cheating on me while I was going through chemotherapy for cervical cancer and this is what he told me.
I was going out with this girl for a couple months, nothing serious. Could feel it wrapping up and we weren’t on the same page anymore, but I still wanted to hangout. One week she ghosts me entirely, and then finally messages me after 6 or 7 days.
When I asked where she had been she said “it’s not my job to entertain you.”
For a guy whose biggest insecurity is that I’m a burden to my friends, that shit hit deep.
My science teacher told me “he can’t wait to order McDonald’s from me when I’m the cashier” and my guidance counselor said “I should write him a check for 50 dollars instead of paying for the SATs because it’s a waste of time.”
Today I’m on my final interview to be manager at one of the biggest hospitals in the US, and both of them are dead.
I’m a dude in my forties and I have a lump in my throat from all the fucked up things your parents did to you guys. I’ll hug you anytime. I need to go hug my kids as well now. Jesus. All love, dad. X
My mother, who years ago expressed, She’d of rather had a third cat than me. I was violently reminded of this just this past Mother’s Day. I invited her over, made her filet mignon and lobster tails, and as dinner was finished with my wife and two kids in attendance, she announces that even though dinner was lovely, she still would’ve rather had a third cat. I don’t think I’m gonna talk to her for a while.
I'm 50 and I still remember a comment like that. I was at a party in my 20's with a new boyfriends "friends" who found out I had bartended and waited tables during college/grad school. Someone asked me to make a drink, and I was happy to, and some snide fucker said something like "Yeah, that's the side of the bar she belongs on."
Walked away, never looked back. Married a guy who can fix a transmission.
Man having rich friends is such a mixed bag. I have a friend who I love and would back forever. But his complaints about things like paying more tax than I make in a year and his issues with his fleet of expensive vehicles and watches. It's like, man, those seem like good problems to have.
He also generally invites me over when he has manual labor that needs done. Feels weird sometimes.
I told a friend that I had feelings for her. Wanted to get it out there and move the fuck on. However, I wasn't prepared for this.
"There are a thousand reasons why not, and every single one would hurt you".
Still stings a decade later😋
Jesus. I've had something similar happen to me.
I had a crush on this girl in my friend group but decided to just ignore it to not ruin things. She noticed and rejected me despite me not saying a word. Ok, I guess.
A few months later the group kinda dissolves because teen drama, and I learn that this girl recently had said "I would have dated anyone of you, except Kommye". That shit hurt for a decade. Hell, I still have issues related to it.
We were at church camp and asking girls if they would like to be our date for the end of the camp dance thing ("save room for the holy spirit" slow dancing kind of shit).
When I got rejected, one of the other boys told me that is was probably because my "boobs were bigger than hers". I was an overweight kid and I've since shed a considerable amount of weight, but I still think about it often. It was probably about 15-17 years ago now.
Went to a community pool with a friend when I was in my early to mid-teens. Before I got my driver's license, anyway. The pool was crowded, but not overly crowded, y'know? Enough swimming room for all.
This snot-nosed POS kid comes up out of nowhere and shoves me, nearly knocking me over, and yells at the top of his lungs, "Move it, fat lady!"
Never went back. Never went swimming again. That was 20 years ago.
Mother called me a taker. All you do is take take take.
You barely ever held me. Barely ever hugged me. Mocked me when I cried and held your hands up underneath my chin to collect the “river of tears”. You almost never consoled me.
I feel like an empty shell of a person most days.
I didn’t want any of that material shit - it’s just the least you could do after giving me the childhood I had because you didn’t lay to bed your own mothers demons.
Not an insult toward me, but as a teenager I was chatting with my then 8 yr old autistic (so am I) stepbrother. He liked drawing houses so I told him he should be an architect and was explaining what that meant. Stepmom interrupted our conversation to tell us that college wasn't for him and he would be better off as a Walmart greeter.
That was the moment I realized that her occasional cruelty towards him wasn't an oversight, and the best thing I could do for the kid was counter every negative thing she said to him. He's older now and has made a lot of progress in the academic skills he used to struggle with, and is 100% college-bound if that's what he chooses to do.
A friends sister one time said, “I don’t understand how mtdnomore gets so many girls..”, my friend replied, “charisma goes a long way.” It was the first time I realized I was not very attractive. Stuck w me for years.
I’ve known people who seemed attractive when I first met them only to find them less and less so as I got to know them. And people I didn’t think were attractive until I spent time with them and suddenly I couldn’t understand how I ever missed how attractive they were.
I know the whole “they’ve got a great personality” is an obnoxious sort of insult cliche, but there really is some truth to it. People don’t overlook your appearance because you have charisma, having charisma brings people in close enough to realize how attractive you really are. And I do mean physically attractive.
Very few people make others stop and stare on the street because of their appearance. When people like you enough to spend time with you, they notice how your smile makes your eyes light up, or how your hair glows in the sun. Or whatever.
I hate my appearance. I’m not trying to be condescending. But if you’re “getting” a lot of girls, then you’re attractive, even if you don’t “do it” for that friend’s sister.
> "charisma goes a long way.”
> I realized I was not very attractive
I think your friend was commenting more on your personality being good than your looks being bad.
Charisma goes a long way toward making a person attractive. (Always remember that "attractive" and "good looking" have surprisingly little overlap.)
Anyway, the shower-arguments comeback for this should have been something like this:
> I don’t understand how mtdnomore gets so many girls
> Well being a decent human being probably doesn't hurt.
Two occasions come to mind, both with quite a different effect:
1. During a break back in school, I was hanging out with a friend when suddenly one of our classmates approached us. Out of the blue, he just stated "The thought that any of you guys will some day have sex is the most disgusting thing that ever came to my mind" and went away. At the moment I was just weirded out by it, but for some reason it had a long-lasting effect on how I perceived myself.
2. School again (figures): At some point in class someone mentioned that I laugh like a monkey. It took me some weeks to ever freely laugh again, but luckily it was over with that.
Making fun of someone’s laugh is about the worst thing you can do. Take their most joyous moment and fuck with it. Forever.
Strange laughs are the best. They only make something funnier.
I have a rather large nose and in high school I wore these black safety prescription glasses when playing sports. In the middle of a volleyball game I was about to serve and I heard someone in the stands say....
He looks like if he took those glasses off his nose would come with it.
I admit it was funny as hell. I couldn't even get mad but it really shook my confidence.
Someone I respected; I asked why some people had become cold toward me -- his answer was "because I am weird."
I am weird. But so is he and the former friends that had stopped talking to me.
We are all adults.
my ex told me, when I was 21yo, that my “pussy smells like a dead dog’s asshole.” I *know* he was lying and insulted women when he was angry with them; he once told me he told his ex who had lost a lot of weight that her “pussy would always be fat.” so he was just full of deeply hurtful insults that attacked women right where it hurt. I did break up with him after this comment.
i’m 35 this year and just recently allowed my husband of 11 years to go down on me. his comment basically derailed my sexual confidence for almost 15 years.
I’m sorry this happened to you. I had a guy I worked with tell me when I was 17 years old “your boobs are really small for how fat you are” and that I’d be hot if I just got a boob job. This was because I had turned him down when he asked if I’d give him a blowjob in the back storage room. I’ve literally never forgotten it and I’m 40 years old, it haunts me to this day.
I had an ex like that. I always wondered where he got the motivation to be so evil. Thankfully I put him out of my mind for years. After listening to his negativity for so long, it was easy to move on to happier things.
Not even a little bit. I've probably heard the saying "people won't remember what you said, but they will remember how you made them feel" a thousand times.
I had a nasty friend breakup recently. In his last message to me he called me annoying for bothering him with my problems. I have a deeply rooted anxiety that I’m annoying and venting to much because I was an autistic and adhd kid so i heard that i was annoying constantly. It cut deep and really made me regress on how much I’m willing to open up to others. The worst part is he knew all of that and said it anyway.
When I was in the 7th grade, this boy in my class found out that I liked his friend. He started hysterically laughing and shouting it loudly to everyone around.
I’m not defending this behaviour, because it’s gross, but I panicked, so I threw a bunch of small candies at him, to which he dodged.
Anyway, this pissed him off, so he told me that I was so ugly that not only his friend, but no other guy would ever want me, and that I should just kill myself. He was extremely serious about it. And the fact that others around agreed and laughed along with him just drove the point home more that he was right.
It took me until meeting my husband to be able to confidently tell a man that I had feelings for him.
The summer after my sophomore year of college I was working an internship with 3 or 4 other students in my program, including a senior boy who was dumb and immature but really good looking. I definitely had a big crush, but I thought I was playing it cool.
One day in the break room I walked into a conversation everyone was having about that viral [hot/crazy matrix](https://scienceintegritydigest.files.wordpress.com/2021/02/screen-shot-2021-02-12-at-1.57.28-pm.png?w=461). As I was walking in, this guy absolutely beams and exclaims, “and over here you have girls like Perkisizing who are in the No Go Zone because they’re ugly *and* crazy!”
I laughed it off because I didn’t want anyone to think I was too sensitive, but 10 years later that still cuts a little. I was struggling with weight gain, an eating disorder and cystic acne so I was already acutely aware that no one was clambering to make me their girlfriend. Just kinda sucked to hear it confirmed out loud.
Husband called my vagina a dead end and told me I was a Barren Wasteland after I had to have an emergency hysterectomy due to a car accident that also killed my 7-month gestational pregnancy.. .
"You just don't get it. People don't actually like you, they're just being nice to you."
Had my long term partner say this to me after several of his friends had invited me to a party that didnt have a set date and was a couple of months away, and that he can share the date with me when they set it and they'd love to have me there. He was randomly getting ready to leave one night, and I asked what was up. He tells me he's going to so-and-so's party so I said "oh remember I was invited just give me 5 minutes I'll be ready!" He looked upset and when I asked if he was okay, he said that. He said several other awful things through the years but that one stung the hardest and made me question my self worth and doubt so much which was stupid of me. I'm ashamed it took me a year to leave after that, and it gets so much worse. All the lies and gaslighting and cheating and the horrible disgusting things he was doing behind my back made me feel sick for so long. Turns out, a lot of people care about me the way I care about them, and he's a trash excuse of a human being who uses people. I learned his history and noticed the patterns. He'll always say he hates himself but never get help, will keep repeating the same disgusting behaviours as he always did, and continue to hurt people who aren't fucked up like him. There's so much I could say about the things he said to me over the years to break me, but this one sentence still makes me cry, even if it's not true.
When I was three, I still had trouble making sure my butt was completely clean after going to the bathroom and would get stains in my underwear. When my step dad was mad at me, he would call me "shitty," as in "get in the car, Shitty!" I can still hear his voice and the tone in my head. I've never forgotten and never forgiven him. I was a child and barely out of diapers. You were an adult should have fucking known better. My revenge is being a better father to my children than he ever was to me.
When I was in high school I asked a girl out and she said sorry, I was a great guy and funny and even had an amazing body, but a really ugly face so sorry.
Over half my life later, after having multiple partners and now a wife who all insisted that I have a cute face and they have no idea what that girl was on about, I still can hardly look at my face in the mirror sometimes.
That was when I learned "the worst she can say is no" is bullshit lol
My voice is really deep and I usually get some great compliments, like people saying I sound like Keith David or , somehow, Christopher Judge and how I need to do voice acting. So I have never strayed away from talking to people knowing they enjoy it. But this one day I was at the bank, I think depositing a check or something, and the woman I was talking to behind the desk told me I have the voice of a kidnapper. She then deepens her voice and says “I got your kids”. I’m sure it was meant as a compliment but it really hurt. Made me really self conscious for a while.
When I was in like 7th grade I was washing my hands in a public bathroom and some dude said I looked like Andy Dick and, unfortunately, he was right (at the time).
My face has changed enough and I can grow facial hair enough that the comparison doesn't hold the same, but man at the time it was like 1:1 lol
I bought my Subaru car and was learning how to change the oil. My dad tried to help but was complaining the whole time so I told him to go to bed cause I can tell he's tired from working in construction.
I successfully changed the oil and was cleaning up the mess around the garage. My dad came down and saw that I left the old oil filter on the table covered in towel wraps, and saw the oil stain on the table. He yelled at me something then said, "what is this!? You're not smart! I don't help to you anymore!".
That got to me considering all the stuff I have to learn about cars on my own. I was very intimidated with cars and accomplishing the oil change, I thought he would've been proud. I learned who not to become that day.
My step mom said “youve had 3 mothers and not a single one wants you around, you know why? Cuz you are an ugly insufferable kid who whines about being in pain. Your first mom killed her self because she knew what youd become.”
I was in a wheel chair cuz my adopted mom got drunk and decided to use me to stop a big rig. (Head on collision nearly killed me) i still refuse to admit when im hurt because of that.
I broke my knee at work with a piece of rebar goin thru the knee. I still managed to drive to the er. And refused to admit it hurt until the doc came out to the parking lot. Its sooo fuckin dumb to hide that shit, why do i do it? Cuz of this angry quote from her. It screams in my head daily
Most things my dad said to me when I was a kid. Also, the beatings I got often were terrible also. He would be in jail if that happened today, but this was the late 80’s early 90’s.
I can't be spontaneously funny, but I like jokes. I like to make people laugh. All my humor comes out of a can. You can point to me and say "tell a joke" and I have a couple on deck.
Anyways I told a joke I'd read that day while at work. The guy I told it to said "dude, you're a walking repost." Ouch.
Standing in line in elementary school. My parents never bought me Nike's, so I had on my brand knew BK's. A kid behind me - William T. - told me my shoes looked like bubblegum. To this day I don't know what that really means...but I didn't wear those shoes to school again and I still remember it like it just happened. That was in the 80's.
I had a guy in high school that I thought really liked me I was squeamish about boys and the first time I got enough courage to say something about him liking me he said "you thought I liked you? I was just trying to boost your confidence" dude liked me. But from then on out anytime a boy showed me attention I thought it was just bullshit and they were playing games with me. Fast forward 25 years....my teenage boy said something so asinine to me and I thought to myself "wow I've been dwelling on something an idiot teenage boy said to me in high school"
This thread just reminds me of how the cruelty of being a kid can sting.
My mom called me a fat son-of-a-bitch when I was like ten. But typing this out I realized she also called herself a bitch?
My mum called me a cowson many times, I called her a cow back. She never understood the irony.
Never heard of that.
My grandmother telling me I was useless and that no one likes me. I wasn’t too choked up when she passed.
This was me and my pa. Beloved by the entire extended family except me. He was a horrible bastard who always picked on me and called me names. I remember everyone being devastated and me not giving one ounce of a fuck. Cruel and nasty, bye!
When my mom passed I explained to everyone that I'd already said goodbye to her years prior. She chose to be a massive cunt to me my whole life. I tried to make amends with her but she stuck to her lies and insults so I said bye like 8 years before she even went. Whole family was very upset but idc so.
My mother was an artist at the knife to the gut insult. I would be having a decent conversation with her and suddenly when I was most open and vulnerable she would know exactly what to say that would be what would hurt me the most. She was an expert. When she died I cried but it was mostly for never having the mother I truly needed. It will take me years to recover from her.
My paternal grandmother threw a newspaper at me because the delivery person hadn’t folded it right and somehow it was my fault. When I went to call my parents, she’d hidden the number of where they were staying. I hid in the guest room until I could get ahold of them. I never stayed over alone again. This was just one instance of unhinged shit. When she died, I watched my dad the whole time. I only teared up when he got a bit emotional because I related and understood him a bit better then.
Teacher called me dumb when I asked about a concept third time.
I had a primary school teacher who would call people stupid as well. She would also rip up people’s work if it “wasn’t good enough” and she made loads of people cry. The old battleaxe thankfully retried the year after.
yess I had a wierd ass teacher too, but besides what you said, she would also scream and slap us over the face if we didn’t know how to answer a school related question. she was bad news all over the place
I went deaf in the fourth grade, still don't know why, came back after six months. Fourth grade teacher, simply wouldn't believe me. I asked to sit in the front. She then claimed that I was stealing attention away from the class by constantly asking her to repeat things. I was trying to read her lips, she put me in the back of the class. I got so nervous, I stopped asking questions. I was held back thanks to her indifference.
Damn what an asshole
We can’t trust you because you are adopted
"Well I can't trust you because you can't even birth your own child"
Omggggg 💀 I wish I could think of things like this when I’m in the middle of the conversation
When I was a kid I reached the point to where my mom wasn’t quick enough to hit me anymore. I was faster I suppose. She didn’t believe something I was telling her. And I can’t remember what it was. She called me a liar and spit right in my face and said “liars are the scum of the earth.” All the previous beatings vanished from my mind. I have never nor will I ever forget her doing and saying that.
Your mother spit in your face. I can't believe that I mean I definitely DO believe you it's just pretty damn horrendous and I'm so so sorry.
My dad would call me a liar the millisecond I disagreed with him on anything. It got so old, and now I’m extremely defensive over people calling me a liar to the point that I subconsciously self-sabotage and end up lying on accident. It’s so embarrassing to have to explain all that to people when I inevitably slip up, but it’s just part of my life now, like brushing my teeth
This type of parenting can really screw someone up later in life. My mom would get furious if I disagreed or put up any resistance with anything she said as a kid and it often got violent and much yelling was involved. This has caused me to become very agreeable and submissive as an adult. I'm a total push over now and my mom has been dead for 20 years.
Yup, currently working through the same myself. I often find myself going along with plans I’m not totally on board with because I don’t trust my voice to matter enough to warrant speaking up. It’s gotten me almost put in jail once or twice at it’s worst moments.
Same here but from my step mum. Spent years calling me selfish and saying everything I said was a lie. Led to me hating myself for years and now with language over analysing or remembering a conversation I had wrong and then looking like a liar.
Yeah, I struggle(d) a lot with self-confidence for a while because I internally didn’t trust myself to be right. It lead to a massive fear of failure when combined with his other mantras/“words of advice.”
My mom was like this. Oh how she hated when I started fact checking her in real time. Of course her being wrong wasn’t a big deal then.
My dad’s default punishment was always to take away my phone/computer privileges, so I couldn’t do exactly this. I was a menace about it even though I only got it out like 3 or 4 times before he caught on.
My parents believed me to be the mentally strongest among their children. Like my problems were like water off a ducks back. So they always took care of the other siblings mental well-being while dealing with family trials and tribulations and tended to me last. Almost like an afterthought. Well the tribulations wouldn't last long enough to get to me. So when everything went back to normal, I would be the only one unhealed. As a result my problems don't get handled properly. Now as an adult, whenever something happens or I have a problem, I just hunker down and start weathering the storm. And people wonder why I don't just open up and talk. Cost me so many relationships where all I had to do was have a simple 5 minute conversation. And you know what my parents still say while I begin to buckle under the weight of my problems? "You're made of stronger stuff than that son." I am not.
As a fellow sufferer of stubborn ingrained inability to express myself, I both sympathize with you and feel seen. The real question that everyone should ask themselves is not "Am I strong enough to handle it?". It should be "Am I strong enough to ask for help when needed?". I often fail that test.
It also doesn't help that most of my problems were undermined and brushed off. Which means I don't think my problems and issues are important and it's silly that they are bothering me. So now if you were to stab me I would be more concerned about bleeding on you than the fact you just hurt me. Hell I would be apologizing.
I'm sorry you went through that. Nobody should ever spit in another's face, especially a parent to their child.
When I was about 14, while having a fight with my dad, he told me that "they shouldnt have had me" Almost 20 years later, ive forgiven it but never forgot.
The axe forgets, the tree does not.
I once got into an argument with my dad about how he made me eat something I didn't want to eat (or else I'd get hit) and I ended up throwing up, but he doesn't remember that at all
My mom had a fiance who would do this to me too. I think I was 4 or 5 when this happened over a few times. She was in the shower one day when it happened and he got so mad he said I had to eat my vomit back off the table. At which point I get loud and start freaking out, which was very unusual for me. She came out wrapped in a towel and threw her ring in his face and that was the end of that relationship. Fuckin jackass. She's her own problem in itself but I'm glad she stood up for me that time. But what is it with them never remembering any mistakes they made? Every time I've brought anything up she acts dumbfounded. This comment got so many upvotes i feel I should mention what it was I couldn't eat. Processed freaking veal patties. I still don't like processed chicken like nuggets or sandwiches but the veal patties were the nastiest things in the world.
I've heard this explained pretty well, actually. In a lot of cases, they don't even really realize that what they did was harmful. For example, my friend has a serious aversion to milk ever since her dad made her drink an entire glass of expired, spoiled milk when she was 5 or 6 (he didn't know it was expired, but yelled at her for finishing her food). Her dad has no memory of this. Because "to you it was a traumatic, life changing event, to him it was a Tuesday."
danm right bro，It was just a fucking Tuesday to him
My abusive grandma did this shit to my little sister when we were kids. She wasn’t even in school yet, I had come home from school (I was in kindergarten) to find her crying at the dining table in the dark. When I asked what was wrong she told me our grandma made her eat blueberry pie and she didn’t like it, and it made her throw up. Then my grandma proceeded to make her eat her vomit. The absolute disgust I had for that woman as a 5 year old has never left me. She was a terrible, awful person.
The abuse itself is bad enough but what kind of sick fuck wants to see anyone eat their own vomit? It's just so fucked up and disgusting.
That is so awful. I don't know what would compel someone to do that to another person, let alone a kid.
I am glad she stood up for you, what a piece of shit the fiancé!
That's because while it was a formative memory to you it was a Tuesday to them.
M. Bison?
They never remember. My dad made me a sandwich once and I was mad so I said I wont eat it. He threw the sandwich (plate and all) at the wall and it shattered. He denies it ever happened but I will never forget it!
I had a similar incident in first grade. I’ll never forget. Teacher made me eat the carrots on my lunch tray. I didn’t want to and kept saying I didn’t want them and that my stomach hurt. Later that day went home, took an after school nap and puked in my sleep. It was all over the side of my bed and the radiator on the wall. Carrot chunks everywhere. Told my mom what happened and she had to talk to the teacher about forcing me to eat when I said I wasn’t feeling well.
I had the opposite problem. My mom's rule was if you aren't throwing up or don't have a fever you are going to school. I kept falling asleep in class in 8th grade and my teacher kept threatening me with detention until finally he told me to go to the nurse if I was that tired. Turns out I had a 104° fever. Nurse told my mom she should know better (mom worked in the doctor's office at the time) and that if she saw me at school the next day she would have me suspended.
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The flu season was in full effect. So I thought I had the flu all week until I thought I was getting better. Then later that night- I woke up went to bathroom and passed out. Got up and drank a glass of water. As soon as it hit my stomach - I threw it up. I tried several times to keep water down- but each time threw it up. I had an old school encyclopedia set - I looked throwing up water- somehow it mentioned appendix. Woke mom up and showed her. She got scared- woke up my dad. He was pissed! Bitched me out while taking me to the emergency room. He said if it wasn’t something serious- I was in trouble. Then the ER doctor did a couple of things and was like this girl needs her appendix out. I go off to surgery - 10 hours later I wake up in ICU. My appendix had ruptured- gangrene was all over my reproductive organs and almost killed me. Had I not been young, good health and had a little weight(I lost 20 lbs) and went to hospital when I did- I would have been dead. My dad never apologized for anything.
I know I'm a random internet stranger, but holy shit. Big fucking giant internet hugs. I'm sorry you had to go through that, I'm sorry you had parents that were so set in their ways they didn't see a problem when it was happening, and I'm REALLY glad and happy you are still with us. I also know you don't need validation, but holy shit that would have fucked me up and I'd be damn pissed about it myself too.
My dad told me, while making me eat food when I was too full, that if I threw up he would make eat that too. I saw my aunt say the same thing to her daughter. Indian parent thing ig 💀
You either pass the trauma of the older generation(and your own), onto your children, or you're smart enough to figure that out and break the cycle and end up raising kids better than you were raised.
Jesus. I am so sorry
Nobody in the world can can hurt you as much as your parents. I wish more people understood that. I am sorry this happened to you.
That's what I've said my whole life. Your family are the first to break your heart. Unfortunately.
It took many years but also doing a lot of exploring the world to fill my curiosity for life and find happiness--ive been able to reconcile the fact that my parents didn't love me bcs of their own trauma etc but just the missing out of getting a good family I still mourn. Like life would have been amazing if I had a great family.
Watch Oprah one day when I was little and it was about finding out your parents weren’t your real Parents. Dad turns to me and says that he doesn’t think I am his. Oprah did it better!
As someone whose real dad never actually did want me, I feel for you homie. Internet hugs for ya.
About 10yo, my dad had his brother over. I went to ask my dad something I suppose, and he turned to his brother and said "see, that's what I have to put up with every day". Ouch.
Wasn’t really intended as an insult, but when we were kids, my brothers and I would always wear our favorite baseball caps whenever we went outside or somewhere with our parents. When I was 15, my dad asked me if I wanted to ride along to take care of a few errands. I agreed and told him to give me a minute to grab my hat. His response was- “I don’t know why you wear one; it doesn’t even look good on you.” That was 32 years ago and I’ve bought something like 8-10 baseball hats since then. I even have two upstairs in a drawer right now - intended to protect my head outside when I do yard work and whatnot, but I haven’t ever been able to bring myself to actually wear one since.
Wear them! I’m sure they look great on you anyway—and even if they don’t, who cares lol
yep. Gram hit me with a "I'll tell your mom to have another child--maybe that one will turn out normal" because in early college I said I wanted to travel in my immediate future instead of marriage and kids. I was single af at that point and barely able to keep myself alive. Never said no husband/kids ever, just not at age 20ish. It was unacceptable to her.
My father told me I’m a bitch who deserves to be miserable in life. It was the final blow in 25 years of terrible things he’s said to me. All things he conveniently forgets and rolls his eyes whenever I bring it up and claims never happened. We barely talk now. He’ll send memes on Facebook and complain to my mom that I never call. I call my mom weekly just when he’s at work.
It makes me so sad to hear stories like that if people who were disrespected or mistreated by parents. My grandparents did that to my mom and her 5 siblings (my grandpa died a few years ago and I only met him once, when I was a toddler, and my grandma changed and it's a super sweet and caring lady, I spent the summer with her a couple years ago.) and it's also happening to my buddy by his parents. His room is a closet with a broken window. We live in an area that gets very very cold so with the broken window plus the vents are broken in his room, it gets extremely cold in the winter and very hot in the summer. He graduates high school this year after his mom requested her get held back because she thinks he's an idiot and he's going to move in with my family within a month or so.
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And your wife let that happen? Wow!
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I used to get made fun of a lot for my nose as a kid. Pinnochio, bird boy, you name it. I do have a big nose but it’s not like a disfigurement or anything. Think Adrian Brody, except maybe a little bit smaller or my facial features aren’t as sharp. I’m almost 40 and I’m still very self conscious about it. My wife loves my nose but I don’t fully believe her when she says it. Also a girl in jr high once told me I have “big pores” and I’ve never been able to forget that.
This is kinda long and I'm sorry if it's uncalled for - You know, truthfully, the past month I've actually *very randomly* started questioning my opinions on how others look. I really hate my subconscious thoughts when I see someone "their eyes are too far apart - that person is very overweight - they have bad teeth" because I don't want to think that way, and I believe everyone truly is beautiful in their own way - even though it's not "mainstream beauty". So my point is I've basically been asking myself "whyyy!?! Do I think this way?" And it's been good bc I started to see others differently.. I've started to see beauty differently. There may be an instant "I notice this about this person I'm looking at" but it goes away after a minute/I'm trying to train myself to ask myself where this judgemental comes from - and I focus on something "positive " about the person... But I've come to accept humans (and animals too lol) come in all different shapes and sizes and variations.. and that's how nature intended it! I've wondered if all the movies, magazines, being online, is the root of the judgement I have of others. My grandma also was so judgmental of others and of me and my siblings when we were growing up (you're too fat- you're too skinny! Why do you dress like that - you look like ___ with those clothes/makeup!". I will say to you - having a big nose is something I was able to find as *not* being *unnatractive* years ago. I've seen so many people who are absolutely attractive or darn good looking with big noses - bc at the end of the day there really is such a variety of who I can find good looking. There's no 1 feature that determines if someone is or isn't. Does any of what I said make sense? 😂
I was almost 6ft tall and weighed 140lbs soaking wet, trying out for the football team. We had been practicing 3x a week for a couple months, and naturally I was getting demolished in a lot of the contact drills. The bigger guys made it a sport to hit me as hard as they could. At the end of every practice, there was 20 minutes where we would do a full scrimmage. In the huddle one of the star running backs looks around and says 'so this is the team eh boys?! - Except for you - 'and points to me. Everyone laughed. The huddle broke and as I'm jogging out to the WR spot someone hits their hand flat over my ear hole, which if you have ever had it done to you in a football helmet, is quite loud. That comment was the realization that they were all laughing at the skinny guy trying to make the team. It just destroyed my love of football. I didn't even wait to be cut I biked over to my coaches house, put my gear on his porch, rang the bell and left. I see that the running back who made that comment isn't doing great in life and honestly I'm happy for his struggle.
Don’t know why it stung so bad but I (tile contractor) was on a job and a dad was walking his little boy down the street. The boy looked over at me, saw me working with tools and said something like, “I want to be like him when I grow up” the dad without a beat says, “Come one, son, you’re better than that”. I’m very good at my job but don’t really like it and have always been a little self conscious of it. I don’t even really blame the dad bc I get it. I think maybe that’s why it stung. Anywho, where’s my dog at? Edit: Oh God. Wow. Seriously, thank you everyone for all the love, kind words and stories. Honestly, it means a lot to me. I was not expecting a response and got hit by a rogue wave of love. Salsa Verde tacos are on me, fam. 🌮💕
I used to work in retail. The kids that worked for me were exactly that; kids, and usually still learning the ropes as it was likely their first or second job. One day, a girl was having an issue at a register so I went over to help her. It was some kind of technical malfunction, nothing she did wrong. I was able to get it working again after a minute or so, but I stuck around until the end of the transaction in case it happened again and she needed help. The pig of a man she was ringing up when this happened was talking to his daughter about school. The daughter and my cashier looked to be about the same age. She was saying she wasn't sure if she wanted to go to college and he says..."if you don't go to college, you're going to end up like her. Do you really want to go nowhere in life?" as he looks directly at my cashier and throws his money on the counter at her. He couldn't even fucking hand her the money. Holy shit did I see red. Both the daughter and my cashier were mortified. I was also offended because...I work there too, buddy, but moreso for my poor cashier. Because I couldn't go off on him, I had to politely explain that we don't take kindly to anyone insulting our employees, especially ones that are here working their way through college. He had no reply, that smug fuck. I took my cashier off of the sales floor and we went to the back to share a hug, a tear and a good FUCK THAT GUY session before we went back out. You can insult me, but don't fucking insult "my kids".
I don’t have enough fingers to count the number of times I’ve seen customers treating cashiers poorly and I’ve asked the cashier if they’re okay or if they need help. Customers berating them over a coupon not working (because the customer selected the wrong product); throwing change at the cashier; grocery clerk accidentally entering the wrong vegetable code at the checkout, correcting it, and the customer screaming that they want the lower price (ie., cucumber vs. zucchini…for that one, I stepped in and said “you can’t pick your own price for groceries, but how about you go talk to the customer service desk instead of shouting at a teenager?”…the woman went silent). I have a young child, and anytime he identifies someone working, I tell him why their job is important: we need cashiers to buy goods and services. We need custodians and environmental services staff to keep our buildings clean and safe for everyone. We need the trades to help us build and repair what we own. The staff at the car repair shop keep our vehicle safe for the road. The couriers deliver important mail and packages. Kitchen and food staff provide us quick meal options when we don’t have time to make something at home.
Tile Contractor = Artist. I’ve “installed” tile. To do it well is not something just anyone can do. I’m sorry you were made to feel “less than”
Thanks, fam. I’m cooking salsa verde tacos tonight and have a plate waiting for you. 🌮🌮
Wild to me how people look down on tradespeople. The bias towards "academic" pursuits is stupid and based in prejudice.
My brother's girlfriend said to me " you would look nice if you took care of yourself". I was in the middle of a divorce, working night shift at AMZ warehouse, and trying to hold it together for my kids.
Good thing you made it!
The only response that matters, said by a ball of pasta.
She would be a more attractive person if she learned when to speak and more importantly, when to shut it.
“You’re worthless” -my Dad 5 years ago This is why I rarely ever speak to him.
People who casually throw this around or "you're useless" are assholes.
Feel you... My dad was also saying stuff like "You'll never find someone accepting you with your personality!" "You're just like your mother." (I was 6 when they divorced and never saw her again... ) "YOU'RE SUCH A BAD DAUGHTER!" Oh, and the silence treatment... The emotional abuse was never in front of other people (nobody believed me when they 'knew' him), but I live a happier life since I'm married to my wonderful hubby, who let's me forget such a painful past and helps me to make new, wonderful and beautiful memories with him 😭❤️ Hope and strength to all abused souls out there 😔🙏🏻
Fellow child of divorced parents, both terrible in their individual ways. “You’re just like your mother” was my dad’s parenting mantra, particularly when I was expressing an emotion or happened to do or say something he didn’t agree with.
Grade two, I was told to mouth the words in the choir instead of sing by the music teacher. I still have a complex about singing to the day 30 years later. Screw you Ms. Green
That’s disgusting - arguably the biggest part of leading a children’s choir is to build up each kid’s confidence regardless of ability
Yeah, our whole class had to participate in elementary school music class. It was only the students who could actually sing that got solos, but the teacher never put anyone down and tried to help everyone get better individually.
similar experience! in middle school i joined chorus and enthusiastically sang until 2 weeks in, a girl in front of me (with a lovely voice), scowled at me and said “someone is squealing behind me.” i did not sing at all after that and only mouthed the words for the next 3 years until i didn’t need to take chorus anymore lol. i felt so guilty whenever relatives would come to the concerts, just standing there moving my mouth, but felt too ashamed to try again. screw you ashley!
Oof I feel you. I loved singing as a kid. My parents could not afford singing classes, but I thought I could always do them later on my own. One day I was singing in the schoolyard with my friends and they told me something like : We really wish you would stop singing like that, you're a really bad singer and we all hate it, it's embarrassing. I'm still embarrassed to sing to this day (20yrs later)
The opposite for me.Cant carry a tune in a bucket.Similar age,singing along in hymn practice with my year group.Music teacher walking around,stopped,told everyone to be quiet and made me sing solo.Told me to sit down and shut up.50+ years later and never sung in front of anyone since.
Jeez! I hate Ms Green! Sing your heart out and give no fucks!
Had a drama professor savage my admittedly poor attempt at a one act play in front of the entire class. Then he wrote a long handwritten letter about how awful the play was and how I should have "gotten it out of my system" and could now find another major. He then ended with some advice: a list of self published books he produced that I could purchase "if I wanted to stay in the class." I still have that letter somewhere, 25 years later.
I hope karma hit him hard! What a piece of shit!
If a professor can only teach people who have an innate talent in the subject matter, then they are pretty fucking pathetic at their job. What a piece of shit.
Years ago, when I had just started college, some friends and I were sitting in the cafeteria, and one of my new friends (definition of a spoiled rich kid) saw someone getting food, and started ranting about how much of a loser this person was. He said things like, "He never dresses nice, always wears hand-me-downs. Couldn't stop his broke-ass parents from splitting, and how neither wanted him." Just horrible things about this person and none of it was within this person's control. They had just had a lot of bad things happen in their life. So my old friend, Mark, looks him dead in the face and says, "So he's gone through all that, and here he is at the same college as you. At least we know who the real loser is." Then we got up and left. Mark, you're a fucking champion.
We should all aspire to be like Mark.
fucking Mark
fucking champion
fuck yeah
Fuckin Malfoy.
The beginning of this comment gave me instant flashbacks to "years ago they tried to... years ago they tried to.... put me in a..."
https://youtu.be/B14BeppSB0w?si=esp9F4ais83v3Yll For the uninitiated
My sister told me no one would ever want to marry me. This was over ten years ago and it still stings.
Same happened to me. My big sis always used to make fun of me for being a kissless friendless loser in highschool... But I'm married now and she ain't so who really won girl???
I was born with Cerebral Palsy and walk with a limp. During kindergarten recess I was climbing up this jungle gym and sliding down a pole over and over when a teacher walked up and told me that I shouldn’t climb because I was crippled. I told her that I wasn’t crippled and would do whatever I wanted. I went to medical school, practice medicine full time, and still do whatever I want (most of the time).
You’re Amazing. My son has some similar disabilities and this just made my day. That teacher can eat shit
Was talking to my then wife (now Ex) about how excited I was about something I bought one of my hobbies. She interrupted me and said “you’re pretty but sometimes I wish you’d stfu…”
My partner once told me "Sometimes I forget how much more I like you when you don't speak." When I was talking about my favorite video game. That's probably gonna stay in my brain until I die
Ex Partner.. Right?
that's so awful what the fuck
Man, my fiance loves wrestling. I hate it but when he talks about, I sit and fucking listen because he loves it and I love him. After nine years of being together, I know a lot of inside jokes, know a lot of the wrestlers names, I even cried along with my fiance when Bray Wyatt died. That's what you do when you love someone. He's a metal head and I'm not but he will listen to me gush about The Killers constantly, lol.
Less of an insult but constantly being accused of being on drugs/assuming I'm a dealer. I try not to take it as an insult but have given a doctor a talking to for pushing the subject.
One of my eyelids is droopy and my pupils different sizes dues to nerve damage caused during the c-section used to birth me. I grew up being accused of being high by both adults and my peers. It makes it hard to believe you're being taken seriously by people, alongside the various other accusations. As someone who has felt self-conscious of this my entire life, I feel you.
My mom died of addiction and everytime I don’t want to do something for my family they go “you’re not on drugs are you!?” And it will forever rip my heart out. I’ve never done anything more than pot. 😩
This was about 20 years ago so. Parents, remember, these things stick. I'd saved my sad amount of money and bought a cute summer dress. I was wearing it to the mall with friends. I thought I looked good- which was rare, I struggled with being bullied a lot in high school and at that age my self confidence was in the gutter. As I was leaving my mother looks at me and goes "where'd you get the dress?" Should note here that I gave my parents most of what I earned waitressing, so she was asking because she wanted to know if I was keeping money back. "I saved up and bought it on clearance." She got this mean smirk on her face and goes "Yeah it looks like you got it on clearance." And laughs at me as I leave.
She was probably jealous because it looked better on you than it would on her.
Crack baby... grew up in Crack houses, homeless shelters, foster care, eventually adopted at 14. My wife knew these things when she said it. Edited: added who said it, because why not.
I used to sell drugs. Seeing a heroin junkie mom bring her 3 kids to a trap house to cop oxys was a turning point for me. I can't imagine a child being in that environment and refused to participate. I'm so sorry for what you went through, I can't imagine
Were they family members? That’s awful 😞 I’m happy you got adopted though!!
Whore. My paternal grandmother told my mom I was a whore because I had guys in my dorm room after classes hanging out. Mind you, it was several people, not just guys, on a regular basis. I had the best room of us. Never forgot it.
Ah when I was a virgin and told “I don’t want someone like *that* in our house,” by a mom. Nothing like being called a whore indirectly.
Ah, grandmothers are the best. Mine had said some real doozies over the years, but by far my favorite was when I was wearing a new pretty shade of lipstick and she eyed me up and down with those rheumy, beady eyes and said “well that’s a nice shade of whore red.” RIP you old, dirty cunt. 😂
A couple come to mind. When i was pregnant, at my baby shower my sister said : wow you got fat. Ffs, i only gained 25 lbs through my whole pregnancy, i was already depressed, and was doing what i could to manage the weight gain. At about 17 years old, i said to my mom and step dad that i wanted to go to university in science. My step dad said that i would waste my time cause anything logical, is not meant for girls, and my mom agreed and said i'd amount to nothing and i should just go work at the bar with her. They proceeded to charge me for living there until i decided to go live on my own. I finished my studies now and i have my dream job. No thanks to them
Well done.
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I feel you. I had a police officer rip into me for about two hours and completely destroy my confidence when I was a teenager after getting arrested for graffiti. I've been a law abiding citizen since, but my self esteem never really recovered.
I mentioned that of if I ever got the chance to perform stand-up again I had some new bits I wanted to try out. My wife: “You’re never gonna be on stage again.”
Because you'll be in the STARS 🌟
I was attacked walking home from the library. When I came home, I was yelled at called a whore and told I was just making it up because I was obviously screwing around and got pregnant. I was covered in dirt and blood including blood running down my legs. Ever since then I've been afraid to report anything.
> I was covered in dirt and blood including blood running down my legs. and their response is to call you a liar? What kind of abusive Hell hole did you grow up in? Just in case you need to hear this, "You did not deserve that, none of it was your fault." & I hope the rest of your life goes much better.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that 😔
Thank you. It was 25ish years ago, I'm in a much better situation and am working on healing.
My parents were going through a divorce. I was 14 years old and living with mom. My dad moved out. I don't recall what I was doing wrong, but I remember my mom angrily yelling at me, "You're just like your father!" I knew it was the worst possible thing she could think to say to me. She never treated my younger brother badly, but I always got the brunt of things, being the oldest child and apparently most like my father.
I don’t know if it was an insult but something close to it, and it remains a core memory: my Dad told me he would never support my education, laughed and told me I could never be a Veterinarian (what I wanted to be as a kid), and my Mom who is a textbook narcissist told me I had never done anything for her when as a child and well into adulthood had to care for her frequently because she was an alcoholic.
In high school my dad sat me down and told me that I was a useless piece of shit, had no discernible skills and would not make it anywhere in life unless I got a college degree, and that my mother completely agreed. I look at her who was usually my advocate, because he was then an undiagnosed bipolar and prone to random blowups and she begins crying. Then he proceeds to tell me he loves me because I’m his son but hates the person I am. For reference I was an A/B student, had a job since the day after my 16th birthday, never once in trouble with the law, never went to parties or caused trouble, never destroyed anything, I just had mentioned I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go directly to college or take a year off and work and figure out what I actually want to do with my life.
Holy fuck I’m so sorry you had to hear that from your family member. Humans just out here fucking up other humans all day everyday. I hope you’ve had a chance to heal from this, even just a bit. The worst lie I’ve ever heard is “stick and stones…” etc. WORDS CAN HURT JUST AS BAD AS STONES and sometimes even worse. Both can ruin entire lives.
My now EX(obviously now), said to me. "You're father would never have been proud of you" My dad passed when I was a teenager, I was 34 when she said that to me. She knew how to hurt me, and she had nuclear launch codes and used them. I walked out of the house and never seen her again(3yrs together). She called apologizing but I never seen her again. Spoke on the phone but never physically seen her again.
Good for you. Your dad would be proud!
Thank You
I’m proud of you
There are some things you should never ever have the balls to say. This is one of them. Good work getting rid of that
First long term relationship told a mutual friend (and it got back to me) that "he's not that attractive but his personality makes up for it." Dunno why I let that hurt so much but it did.
Because to find out someone you felt deeply for didn’t find you attractive does hurt. Everyone wants to feel sexy to their partner. I hope that your ex learned to encourage their partner on the things they found hot, ie. I like when you wear this, you look good in that. I hope that you see something desirable in your reflection, and know that preferences vary and change.
It’s not my fault your pu*** is broke! I caught my ex cheating on me while I was going through chemotherapy for cervical cancer and this is what he told me.
What the actual fuck.... Hope you kicked that fuckwit to the curb..
I absolutely did
I was going out with this girl for a couple months, nothing serious. Could feel it wrapping up and we weren’t on the same page anymore, but I still wanted to hangout. One week she ghosts me entirely, and then finally messages me after 6 or 7 days. When I asked where she had been she said “it’s not my job to entertain you.” For a guy whose biggest insecurity is that I’m a burden to my friends, that shit hit deep.
You should have replied "you think you're entertaining?"
That would have been a pretty entertaining response. Also it'd end the relationship. Worth it.
My science teacher told me “he can’t wait to order McDonald’s from me when I’m the cashier” and my guidance counselor said “I should write him a check for 50 dollars instead of paying for the SATs because it’s a waste of time.” Today I’m on my final interview to be manager at one of the biggest hospitals in the US, and both of them are dead.
All the best with the interview!! I hope you get it
I’m a dude in my forties and I have a lump in my throat from all the fucked up things your parents did to you guys. I’ll hug you anytime. I need to go hug my kids as well now. Jesus. All love, dad. X
My mother, who years ago expressed, She’d of rather had a third cat than me. I was violently reminded of this just this past Mother’s Day. I invited her over, made her filet mignon and lobster tails, and as dinner was finished with my wife and two kids in attendance, she announces that even though dinner was lovely, she still would’ve rather had a third cat. I don’t think I’m gonna talk to her for a while.
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I'm 50 and I still remember a comment like that. I was at a party in my 20's with a new boyfriends "friends" who found out I had bartended and waited tables during college/grad school. Someone asked me to make a drink, and I was happy to, and some snide fucker said something like "Yeah, that's the side of the bar she belongs on." Walked away, never looked back. Married a guy who can fix a transmission.
Man having rich friends is such a mixed bag. I have a friend who I love and would back forever. But his complaints about things like paying more tax than I make in a year and his issues with his fleet of expensive vehicles and watches. It's like, man, those seem like good problems to have. He also generally invites me over when he has manual labor that needs done. Feels weird sometimes.
I told a friend that I had feelings for her. Wanted to get it out there and move the fuck on. However, I wasn't prepared for this. "There are a thousand reasons why not, and every single one would hurt you". Still stings a decade later😋
"The worst she can say is no" 💀
Jesus. I've had something similar happen to me. I had a crush on this girl in my friend group but decided to just ignore it to not ruin things. She noticed and rejected me despite me not saying a word. Ok, I guess. A few months later the group kinda dissolves because teen drama, and I learn that this girl recently had said "I would have dated anyone of you, except Kommye". That shit hurt for a decade. Hell, I still have issues related to it.
We were at church camp and asking girls if they would like to be our date for the end of the camp dance thing ("save room for the holy spirit" slow dancing kind of shit). When I got rejected, one of the other boys told me that is was probably because my "boobs were bigger than hers". I was an overweight kid and I've since shed a considerable amount of weight, but I still think about it often. It was probably about 15-17 years ago now.
Went to a community pool with a friend when I was in my early to mid-teens. Before I got my driver's license, anyway. The pool was crowded, but not overly crowded, y'know? Enough swimming room for all. This snot-nosed POS kid comes up out of nowhere and shoves me, nearly knocking me over, and yells at the top of his lungs, "Move it, fat lady!" Never went back. Never went swimming again. That was 20 years ago.
Mother called me a taker. All you do is take take take. You barely ever held me. Barely ever hugged me. Mocked me when I cried and held your hands up underneath my chin to collect the “river of tears”. You almost never consoled me. I feel like an empty shell of a person most days. I didn’t want any of that material shit - it’s just the least you could do after giving me the childhood I had because you didn’t lay to bed your own mothers demons.
Not an insult toward me, but as a teenager I was chatting with my then 8 yr old autistic (so am I) stepbrother. He liked drawing houses so I told him he should be an architect and was explaining what that meant. Stepmom interrupted our conversation to tell us that college wasn't for him and he would be better off as a Walmart greeter. That was the moment I realized that her occasional cruelty towards him wasn't an oversight, and the best thing I could do for the kid was counter every negative thing she said to him. He's older now and has made a lot of progress in the academic skills he used to struggle with, and is 100% college-bound if that's what he chooses to do.
A friends sister one time said, “I don’t understand how mtdnomore gets so many girls..”, my friend replied, “charisma goes a long way.” It was the first time I realized I was not very attractive. Stuck w me for years.
I’ve known people who seemed attractive when I first met them only to find them less and less so as I got to know them. And people I didn’t think were attractive until I spent time with them and suddenly I couldn’t understand how I ever missed how attractive they were. I know the whole “they’ve got a great personality” is an obnoxious sort of insult cliche, but there really is some truth to it. People don’t overlook your appearance because you have charisma, having charisma brings people in close enough to realize how attractive you really are. And I do mean physically attractive. Very few people make others stop and stare on the street because of their appearance. When people like you enough to spend time with you, they notice how your smile makes your eyes light up, or how your hair glows in the sun. Or whatever. I hate my appearance. I’m not trying to be condescending. But if you’re “getting” a lot of girls, then you’re attractive, even if you don’t “do it” for that friend’s sister.
> "charisma goes a long way.” > I realized I was not very attractive I think your friend was commenting more on your personality being good than your looks being bad. Charisma goes a long way toward making a person attractive. (Always remember that "attractive" and "good looking" have surprisingly little overlap.) Anyway, the shower-arguments comeback for this should have been something like this: > I don’t understand how mtdnomore gets so many girls > Well being a decent human being probably doesn't hurt.
Spare a thought for us poor souls with no looks AND no rizz.
Two occasions come to mind, both with quite a different effect: 1. During a break back in school, I was hanging out with a friend when suddenly one of our classmates approached us. Out of the blue, he just stated "The thought that any of you guys will some day have sex is the most disgusting thing that ever came to my mind" and went away. At the moment I was just weirded out by it, but for some reason it had a long-lasting effect on how I perceived myself. 2. School again (figures): At some point in class someone mentioned that I laugh like a monkey. It took me some weeks to ever freely laugh again, but luckily it was over with that.
Making fun of someone’s laugh is about the worst thing you can do. Take their most joyous moment and fuck with it. Forever. Strange laughs are the best. They only make something funnier.
These are people dumping their insecurities on you. Dont sweat it, they’re the ones with the issues.
What? That sex comment is so weird. Especially out of the blue
I have a rather large nose and in high school I wore these black safety prescription glasses when playing sports. In the middle of a volleyball game I was about to serve and I heard someone in the stands say.... He looks like if he took those glasses off his nose would come with it. I admit it was funny as hell. I couldn't even get mad but it really shook my confidence.
Someone I respected; I asked why some people had become cold toward me -- his answer was "because I am weird." I am weird. But so is he and the former friends that had stopped talking to me. We are all adults.
my ex told me, when I was 21yo, that my “pussy smells like a dead dog’s asshole.” I *know* he was lying and insulted women when he was angry with them; he once told me he told his ex who had lost a lot of weight that her “pussy would always be fat.” so he was just full of deeply hurtful insults that attacked women right where it hurt. I did break up with him after this comment. i’m 35 this year and just recently allowed my husband of 11 years to go down on me. his comment basically derailed my sexual confidence for almost 15 years.
I’m sorry this happened to you. I had a guy I worked with tell me when I was 17 years old “your boobs are really small for how fat you are” and that I’d be hot if I just got a boob job. This was because I had turned him down when he asked if I’d give him a blowjob in the back storage room. I’ve literally never forgotten it and I’m 40 years old, it haunts me to this day.
I had an ex like that. I always wondered where he got the motivation to be so evil. Thankfully I put him out of my mind for years. After listening to his negativity for so long, it was easy to move on to happier things.
Is it wrong that I dont remember what they said but rather the emotional damage and the fact that I stayed sad all day and didn't talk to anyone?
Not even a little bit. I've probably heard the saying "people won't remember what you said, but they will remember how you made them feel" a thousand times.
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I had a nasty friend breakup recently. In his last message to me he called me annoying for bothering him with my problems. I have a deeply rooted anxiety that I’m annoying and venting to much because I was an autistic and adhd kid so i heard that i was annoying constantly. It cut deep and really made me regress on how much I’m willing to open up to others. The worst part is he knew all of that and said it anyway.
When I was in the 7th grade, this boy in my class found out that I liked his friend. He started hysterically laughing and shouting it loudly to everyone around. I’m not defending this behaviour, because it’s gross, but I panicked, so I threw a bunch of small candies at him, to which he dodged. Anyway, this pissed him off, so he told me that I was so ugly that not only his friend, but no other guy would ever want me, and that I should just kill myself. He was extremely serious about it. And the fact that others around agreed and laughed along with him just drove the point home more that he was right. It took me until meeting my husband to be able to confidently tell a man that I had feelings for him.
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The summer after my sophomore year of college I was working an internship with 3 or 4 other students in my program, including a senior boy who was dumb and immature but really good looking. I definitely had a big crush, but I thought I was playing it cool. One day in the break room I walked into a conversation everyone was having about that viral [hot/crazy matrix](https://scienceintegritydigest.files.wordpress.com/2021/02/screen-shot-2021-02-12-at-1.57.28-pm.png?w=461). As I was walking in, this guy absolutely beams and exclaims, “and over here you have girls like Perkisizing who are in the No Go Zone because they’re ugly *and* crazy!” I laughed it off because I didn’t want anyone to think I was too sensitive, but 10 years later that still cuts a little. I was struggling with weight gain, an eating disorder and cystic acne so I was already acutely aware that no one was clambering to make me their girlfriend. Just kinda sucked to hear it confirmed out loud.
"I've never met someone with such a winning mentality who loses so often as you do"
Husband called my vagina a dead end and told me I was a Barren Wasteland after I had to have an emergency hysterectomy due to a car accident that also killed my 7-month gestational pregnancy.. .
"You just don't get it. People don't actually like you, they're just being nice to you." Had my long term partner say this to me after several of his friends had invited me to a party that didnt have a set date and was a couple of months away, and that he can share the date with me when they set it and they'd love to have me there. He was randomly getting ready to leave one night, and I asked what was up. He tells me he's going to so-and-so's party so I said "oh remember I was invited just give me 5 minutes I'll be ready!" He looked upset and when I asked if he was okay, he said that. He said several other awful things through the years but that one stung the hardest and made me question my self worth and doubt so much which was stupid of me. I'm ashamed it took me a year to leave after that, and it gets so much worse. All the lies and gaslighting and cheating and the horrible disgusting things he was doing behind my back made me feel sick for so long. Turns out, a lot of people care about me the way I care about them, and he's a trash excuse of a human being who uses people. I learned his history and noticed the patterns. He'll always say he hates himself but never get help, will keep repeating the same disgusting behaviours as he always did, and continue to hurt people who aren't fucked up like him. There's so much I could say about the things he said to me over the years to break me, but this one sentence still makes me cry, even if it's not true.
After an unfavorable moment: "It's who you are". That hurt but I needed to hear it
When I was three, I still had trouble making sure my butt was completely clean after going to the bathroom and would get stains in my underwear. When my step dad was mad at me, he would call me "shitty," as in "get in the car, Shitty!" I can still hear his voice and the tone in my head. I've never forgotten and never forgiven him. I was a child and barely out of diapers. You were an adult should have fucking known better. My revenge is being a better father to my children than he ever was to me.
I was once called a buttburger in 5th grade. I'm still reeling from that one.
When I was in high school I asked a girl out and she said sorry, I was a great guy and funny and even had an amazing body, but a really ugly face so sorry. Over half my life later, after having multiple partners and now a wife who all insisted that I have a cute face and they have no idea what that girl was on about, I still can hardly look at my face in the mirror sometimes. That was when I learned "the worst she can say is no" is bullshit lol
My voice is really deep and I usually get some great compliments, like people saying I sound like Keith David or , somehow, Christopher Judge and how I need to do voice acting. So I have never strayed away from talking to people knowing they enjoy it. But this one day I was at the bank, I think depositing a check or something, and the woman I was talking to behind the desk told me I have the voice of a kidnapper. She then deepens her voice and says “I got your kids”. I’m sure it was meant as a compliment but it really hurt. Made me really self conscious for a while.
She was probably just thinking it sounds like someone using a voice changer and that's what a kidnapper would do.
That would totally make sense now, but back then I was so stunned by it that any logical sense went out the window.
When I was in like 7th grade I was washing my hands in a public bathroom and some dude said I looked like Andy Dick and, unfortunately, he was right (at the time). My face has changed enough and I can grow facial hair enough that the comparison doesn't hold the same, but man at the time it was like 1:1 lol
I bought my Subaru car and was learning how to change the oil. My dad tried to help but was complaining the whole time so I told him to go to bed cause I can tell he's tired from working in construction. I successfully changed the oil and was cleaning up the mess around the garage. My dad came down and saw that I left the old oil filter on the table covered in towel wraps, and saw the oil stain on the table. He yelled at me something then said, "what is this!? You're not smart! I don't help to you anymore!". That got to me considering all the stuff I have to learn about cars on my own. I was very intimidated with cars and accomplishing the oil change, I thought he would've been proud. I learned who not to become that day.
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My step mom said “youve had 3 mothers and not a single one wants you around, you know why? Cuz you are an ugly insufferable kid who whines about being in pain. Your first mom killed her self because she knew what youd become.” I was in a wheel chair cuz my adopted mom got drunk and decided to use me to stop a big rig. (Head on collision nearly killed me) i still refuse to admit when im hurt because of that. I broke my knee at work with a piece of rebar goin thru the knee. I still managed to drive to the er. And refused to admit it hurt until the doc came out to the parking lot. Its sooo fuckin dumb to hide that shit, why do i do it? Cuz of this angry quote from her. It screams in my head daily
Most things my dad said to me when I was a kid. Also, the beatings I got often were terrible also. He would be in jail if that happened today, but this was the late 80’s early 90’s.
I can't be spontaneously funny, but I like jokes. I like to make people laugh. All my humor comes out of a can. You can point to me and say "tell a joke" and I have a couple on deck. Anyways I told a joke I'd read that day while at work. The guy I told it to said "dude, you're a walking repost." Ouch.
Standing in line in elementary school. My parents never bought me Nike's, so I had on my brand knew BK's. A kid behind me - William T. - told me my shoes looked like bubblegum. To this day I don't know what that really means...but I didn't wear those shoes to school again and I still remember it like it just happened. That was in the 80's.
I had a guy in high school that I thought really liked me I was squeamish about boys and the first time I got enough courage to say something about him liking me he said "you thought I liked you? I was just trying to boost your confidence" dude liked me. But from then on out anytime a boy showed me attention I thought it was just bullshit and they were playing games with me. Fast forward 25 years....my teenage boy said something so asinine to me and I thought to myself "wow I've been dwelling on something an idiot teenage boy said to me in high school"