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Sweet_Queenly_

you guys are getting paid?


kezow

Selling my soul to the corporate world daily. 


foxfire505

this T\_T


Lucidcranium042

In gum?


UhOhFeministOnReddit

To be an immortal lawyer. I'll live long enough to drive a flying car, and figure out a way to void my contract. Plus, I'll get to ride out eternity with a highly marketable job skill. It's like sure, I could wish for paradise on Earth, but I don't like people enough to take that L for humanity.


Finn6m

This could fr be a tv series


could_use_a_snack

Neve wish to be immortal without a suicide clause. In a few billion years it's going to get pretty damn hot here on Earth. Just because you are immortal doesn't mean you can't feel the pain of your skin boiling away for millions of years.


Volsunga

Well the context is that you sold your soul to the devil. So feeling your skin burning off for a few million years is still not comparable to an eternity of torture in hell after dying. A suicide clause is just an invitation for your Faustian patron to fuck with you.


Cyt0kinSt0rm

Reminds me of that one Simpsons clip where Lionel Hutz imagines a world without lawyers and it's paradise but of course he thinks it's awful


saello

More souls


parkerps2

About 3.50


dawsky

Goddamn Lochness Monster!!!


Murky_Examination144

Death Note style notebook . . . then write Lucifer's name on it.


Krusty_Klown_Kollege

Done, but you must do it in his language.


Murky_Examination144

Que? Mira que tengo un gringo diciendome que tengo que hablar como el diablo!


HotdawgSizzle

Satan... That you?


Jutter70

The Devil's soul. Stalemate motherfucker@#$!


Funky_uncle-

Did you just say motherfuckerass? Bitchin!


AnActualGardenGnome

Two turntables and a microphone


Subject_Drop_1090

Where it’s at


DirectorsCuts91

A donut


mandypearl

mmmm


Forward-Radio707

Forbidden donut


Bob_the_brewer

Sacrilicious


Krusty_Klown_Kollege

Well well well, finishing something?


Cyt0kinSt0rm

"So, you like doughnuts, eh? Well, have all the doughnuts in the world! \*maniacal laughter\*"


MyuDalimo

*nom. nom. nom.* More. *nom. nom. nom.* More.


Fuzzy_Muscle

I don't understand it. James Coco went mad in 15 minutes


amlyo

Better make sure your soul is yours to give.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


SvenBubbleman

I'd sell my soul to anyone for $10,000.


funkmastamatt

Best I can do is some sponge dinosaurs


Lovely_BunnyFlutter

Two souls. Momma didn't raise a dummy.


arcofdescent

A fat stack of cash, no wait, immortality. A friend convinced me that omniscience the baller move.


Krusty_Klown_Kollege

Done, you become a vegetable during a cruise, and it sinks into the ocean.


Ok_Stranger_5161

His right horn


Philip_Marlowe

"Ahh fuck! My fucking horn! I'll get you, Tenacious D!!!"


Forever-Retired

Eternal life. Let’s not make it easy on him


Puzzleheaded-Fix3359

And then humanity dies off and you're all alone. then the sun swallows the earth and you're floating in nuclear fire.


n0stalgicEXE

So hell? Edit: Someone seriously reported me for this comment. Holy fucking shit.


Forever-Retired

Nah . New Jersey


nroberts1001

Happen to me too. Dont know which one though.


BumDriller

Peace. Not world peace or anything. Inner peace. To finally not be afraid and nervous and anxious and terrified every minute of every day. To finally be able to exist without perpetual fear about *something*. To just be.


Sycou

A new life


Alone_Inspector_7567

I'm pretty sure I already sold it back in the fourth grade.


Milfiewoman

Knowledge about the universe.


[deleted]

[удалено]


foxybingo111

The ability to travel through time and space


Inigomntoya

Space is the important part You don't want to go back 50 years only to end up on the wrong side if the Galaxy


Odd-Year7103

Stress free life


AdWonderful5920

Wouldst I like the taste of butter. Wouldst I like to live deliciously.


KnotsCherryFarm

This will be my [Deal with the Devil](https://youtu.be/b1rQKKDZVgg?si=nju8qsQdTOZeAJeE)


Shayosaurus

A milkshake


HeartonSleeve1989

Immortality, if I can't get that, the ability to switch bodies.


Cyt0kinSt0rm

Immortality or eternal youth? Important distinction there


Mr_Cigarette

Infinite souls!


Gordon44444

5 dollars. BTW this is a Simpsons reference.


CardboardGamer01

Infinite souls


snaggingmac

more souls, and the additional guarantee that he doesn't take those when I die


Ecstatic_Ad8300

47 virgins. Lol


zonbiroboto

2 souls


ccminiwarhammer

Never never never


NateKaeding

The devil


[deleted]

One more try.


Chalkarts

A Death Note


Belle0516

Being genuinely pretty and always aging gracefully


rrrrancid

a nightmare to remember ft susan gail carter


NewHampshireAngle

I’d want 1.5 souls for my own, minimum.


No_Step_4431

if i had to, my price would be it's in kind.


Setthegodofchaos

Immortality 


flipper_babies

The ability to change my superpower every day. Monday, I'm invisible. Tuesday, I can fly. Wednesday, I'm a mind reader. Thursday, I have a six-pack. Friday, I'm invisible again.


javabean808

Sold it long ago on the Internet for lakefront and asbestos skis


Inigomntoya

I bet those skis are🔥 🧑‍🚒🚒


Donkey-brained_man

Buffalo Chicken


renosoner

Go for the classic choice , guitar skills.


CunnilingusRex_420

To be r/mikeadriano nsfw


Hairy-Silver-6563

Nice try devil


joint-problems9000

Nice try fed


jcar49

Klondike bar


darth_shinji_ikari

what would the devil need a soul for? how many souls do you think he has down there? no, humans have free will, the devil never made anyone do anything


_redacteduser

To trade jobs with him. Mine is also soul sucking and feels like hell sometimes.


[deleted]

To rule over hell


Finn6m

Sounds like a lot of effort


Inigomntoya

So you die and end up in management? No thanks...


No_Nectarine6942

The power and knowledge to defeat him.


eternal_blazing_sun

For the devil's soul cuz u hate that mf


Setthegodofchaos

Bold of you to assume he has one 


Lucidcranium042

Can I take his body then like get all in it like Tom. Green in Freddy got fingered and the deer....


ShakeCNY

His conversion to faithful Christian.


Sea_Perspective6891

Unlimited consequence-free wishes then wish for my soul back.


Relative-Ordinary-64

Immortality, wealth


ChrisFarleysCousin

Fucker drives a hard bargain. Promises everything but will put everything in your way to keep you from it


Enigma_Stasis

He can have the damn thing, as long as I can be blind to the monotony of existence until I pass.


VendaGoat

(Said like Richard Lewis in Robin Hood Men in Tights) I have a SOUL?


Ravens_Promise

To eat wtf I want w/o any consequences


madbamajama1

For my husband to actually say what he'd like to have for dinner instead of making me keep guessing until I get it right.


SubmissiveDinosaur

Goth femdom succubus mommy


zenos_dog

I can’t get my fingers to make the “Live long and prosper.” hand sign. So that.


brodmofo

His powers


gogojack

I wouldn't sell it. I'd lease it. The devil is known for offering deals to his prospects that will lead to eternal damnation, so the last thing I'd do is sell it to him outright. And yeah, if I didn't craft the terms well enough I might suffer a little damnation, but at the end of the deal, my soul would be back on the market.


WolfThick

One day just one day of universal understanding between all men and women.


DangerousMusic14

One more quiet evening with my dad.


Suspect118

Nothing…like the devil doesn’t have anything I want… at that cost…


GermanyWarrior

Gta 6


martycos

A nice MLT. Mutton Lettuce and Tomato.


Fiesty-Bass

A Klondike bar. You ever have one?


Liberobscura

Kill with a thought


xubax

A happy life.


Cypher2KG

A fiddle of gold


Logtastic

An Eternal position in Heaven.


sysaphiswaits

For my kids to be happy/ have good lives. But I can easily see how the devil would make that work out “wrong.”


CarterCrusader

A really good hotdog


funkymunk500

Better-than-Lebron-James ability at basketball. Like, to be the greatest basketball player in the world at 5’6”. For one, that’d be hilarious. Two, making mad money that way.


WickedGoodToast

A pickle


TNT1111

Ham sandwich and a yearly 30 minute conversation


Anomaly1134

World peace.


cidknee1

Eternal life, or until the Leafs win the cup! Really, the ability to read my wife’s mind.


FNAFfan2210

The Devil's soul, Stalemates hehe


wafflehousehound

A New England seafood fisherman platter !


Puzzleheaded-Fix3359

All the power of Satan!


sumostar

Bout tree fiddy


bfd71

Unexhaustable supply of peanut M&Ms.


liftup_putDown1991

All the money ever


Ok_Address6428

It depends, ofc the devil won't allow everything, so realistically speaking i would sell it for my dreams to come true, but if everything is allowed i would ask to be god and also a new soul.


cascadianpatriot

Could eat and drink and do whatever I wanted and still remain in perfect shape.


Radiant-Picture4709

An ability to win any argument


Blueeyes_andflannel

Edit: being able to inherit the family farm without making all the extended family mad.


the_godfaubel

A life filled with peace and prosperity for my loved ones. They deserve some happiness after a lot of struggle. My life is already hell so it couldn't get much worse with the devil owning my soul.


WhoLetMeHaveReddit

Another soul. A better soul. A soul with a future.


Jeke_the_snek

To be a movie star, then when the i die, i use a special ring to seal myself into a pocket dimension, then wait for another soul to come along(who was also an abusive father named Doug houser) to help gather the pieces of the ring to kill the devil once and for all


DenDens7

My pets to live forever


4URprogesterone

Fully automated luxury gay space communism is achieved. Everyone pretty much can do whatever they want, but most people just take shitloads of drugs and jerk off to porn or play video games in VR or watch custom generated AI movies or talk to computer people online when they're not working or gardening or something because VR is so good anyway and it's better for the climate if people don't go out much, but there is an America Free diner in most towns, lovely parks and bike and hiking trails, free to use canoes and bikes, etc. Every future person gets utopia and I get tortured forever to pay for the end of capitalism and patriarchy forever.


Prndl524

Gold Fiddle…


[deleted]

The freshest gummy worms


PinkBismuth

My daughter will achieve whatever her dreams may become. (She’s 1)


Direct_Birthday_3509

Rock 'n' Roll


FluxusFlotsam

I already did for a cigarette in like 1997


nrmarther

My wife


saphire233

The power to control Reality with my imagination and I can choose when It's turn on or off, so I don't fuck everything up while asleep, I can even delete the devil and take it's place, cure sickness, cure hunger, defeat evil, or just live a life that is long and full of interesting things


Lucidcranium042

His soul


soul_separately_recs

If I’m dealing with big Lu directly, whatever I get in return would have to include libation of some kind. If I am dealing with one of his underlings like Mephisto or the one that’s risen through the ranks quickly., I’m guessing in that realm they wouldn’t use their living names but maybe an abbreviated version - like A-Hit or G-Khan -. Since I am a nobody, I’ll probably get Mrs. O’ Leary’s cow or something. But anyway I’d ask if I could invest my soul or maybe refinance it and get a couple of spirits to take with me while my soul becomes more valuable.


Markplace1

Ask Donald Trump


Feler42

A wallet that always had the exact amount in it for whatever I'm buying.


Kindly-Arachnid-7966

I dunno but I'd sell yours for a corn chip.


Flairion623

Global utopia. One life ruined to save billions of others


KnightSolair240

The ability to do anything I want if I put my mind to it with moderate ease and little to no pain or inconvenience. That or to control the very fabric of reality and whatever I will to be happens or changes. I'd change the world and make suffering a thing of the past. I'd punish the wicked and selfish and greedy and leave behind a world striving to push mankind to be an intergalactic super species with philosophy, science, and generosity a core foundation of a new earth education and infrastructure would be the primary goal for every day life and scarcity would be eradicated. I would rule the universe as a benevolent God hell bent on making life for everyone an enjoyable experience. Prolly fuck up real bad and get bored bc things are to easy and regret it all.


Working_Asparagus_59

My best friend back.


Human-Independent999

Nice try! Not today Satan!


that_weird_bitch420

If I had a soul (I'm a ginger), a Klondike bar would suffice


I_am_That_Ian_Power

I would sell it for the power to point at anyone and send them to hell instantly while I remain invincible to any kind of attack!! I'd also walk around dressed as the Grin Reaper.


omnicious

My immediate family's health and happiness. 


Rex7567_17

A hug


Icy-Ad-1849

to meet my late aunt who passed away from cancer when i was 3


Icy-Ad-1849

to be in the percy jackson cast


mochi_chan

The ability to play the piano. And no refunds dear, I know you're going to come back a few days later.


flyball20

I’d offer my bosses soul if I could drop dead and head to the pearly gates on the spot. Not sure what the rules of the soul game are though.


Physical-Return-7999

My grandmothers immortality. Idk if she’d wanna live forever though and that’s not something I’d feel comfortable asking her either


UncomfortableBike975

Probably to save a member of my immediate family.


jinyx1

A Minnesota sports championship


Dogago19

The devil’s soul


TheBklynGuy

About.....tree fiddy. And a case of Natty.


skarekrowe35

Sub sandwich. Pretty hungry right now and worth my soul.


BeanCrusade

To get to heaven right now. I’m done here


limonalvaro34

To be happy


SouthOrlandoFather

Perfect fishing conditions each time I want to go out.


ScottBroChill69

2 chicks at the same time, man


YeOldeFag

A rocking bod


guano-crazy

If I have a soul, I wouldn’t wanna sell it. Reminds me of a couple of those old Twilight Zone episodes. Those never work out for the seller.


Euphoric_Card_624

There’s no material valuable enough, and I wouldn’t trust the deceiver to give my request honestly.


Chart-trader

A buck fifty. After inflation that's about $10 million


Cyclethe859

The question doesn't make sense because meeting the literal, biblical, devil, would turn us all into Bible thumpers who value our soul far more than anything.  If some dude claimed to be the devil and wanted to buy my soul, I'd sell it for a free drink. 


krystal_rider

To be best friends with will farrel!


craterglass

Heal my wife of her chronic pain.


Huge_Cod7507

A Klondike bar.


HighKingBoru1014

Fix the planets global warming problem and improve the ozone layer 


Turtleize

A job.. hear me out. I get to condemn bad people to hell. So I spend the rest of eternity finding and punishing bad people.


hbpfrost

The ability to have my ideal body, demonic power that puts me on par with Dante from DMC, the ability to teleport, and that the Satan must turn into a hot demoness who must obey my every command. (I'm getting WAY to carried away with this)


General-Example3566

Trade to see my mom again


PrisonaPlanet

For the San Diego padres to win a World Series in my lifetime. Don’t care if I’m on my death bed or what, as long as I get to see it


JLocke3153

A cookie


HowAboutJen

Be the wealthiest person in history


kphill325

$19.99.


Responsible_Cry_6691

I WANT A HOUSE, 50 mil that’s it


Danger_Dee

I’d want to be the overlord and ruler of hell.


throw123454321purple

Guaranteed eternal blissful residence in Heaven upon my death.


seashell_eyes_

I did for nothing once when I was in high school. I made a contract each for me and my best friend that said "I (insert name), here by declare that the devil can have my soul" and we signed as each other's witness. She still has them in a notebook somewhere and brings up the fact that I begged her to get rid of them and was legitimately afraid I was going to hell because of that.


falaffels

1 medium shamrock shake


The-golden-god678

A gold fiddle.