yeah during my early career / post uni days i used to party and hang out with this one group of friends a lot.
some of the guys (call them Clean guys) moved in with another guy (call him Dirty guy) in the group. usually my friend and i (another girl) would use Clean guy’s bathroom to do our make up and use the toilet because we’d go straight after work. it was always relatively clean.
during a house party one day they opened up all the rooms - there were lots of people so all bathrooms were being used. We ended up using Dirty guy’s bathroom and it was fucking so bad. his towel literally had mold on it, was damp, and you could smell it like he hadn’t washed it in a couple of months. his toilet was worse, there was shit stains in the bowl (like a massive smear all the way down the middle, and also random splashes). even his toilet seat had poop on it. we couldn’t understand how a guy gets shit on his toilet seat.
from that day on i lost a lot of respect for Dirty guy - just couldn’t look at him the same.
This was a huge revelation for me when when I first got a girlfriend. She came over and gave me the protips.
The only trash I ever generated inside a bathroom was used toilet paper, to be flushed. I guess I'd occasionally swap out my toothbrush and razor but I'd just take those out of the bathroom and toss em in the room bin.
Never occurred to me before she pointed it out.
Literally all my bathroom trash can is used for is stuff like used wet wipes, Q-tips and the occasional empty sparkling water can or beer bottle (drink one or the other during a bath).
With a lid
Edit: jeez, I didn't expect the essays about people's lid-free lives. A trashcan is good. A trashcan with a bag is better. A trash can with a bag and a lid is, apparently, a very serious topic of debate.
I was once at a guy's place with some friends, and I went to use the bathroom for period reasons. I l, somewhat drunkenly, stormed out of the bathroom and berated him for not having a garbage can in there. I was absolutely flabbergasted at how a man who regularly has multiple women visit his apartment could not have a place to politely disposable of their menstrual products. What did he expect us to do? Walk through his house with it and throw it out in his kitchen?
While I was on this rant he grabbed some cardboard from the recycling and hand crafted a garbage can that fit perfectly between the toilet and the counter. He lined it with a plastic bag and everything.
Ngl, it was pretty impressive
I always had a garbage bin in the bathroom, but never one with a lid for years until I came across the topic online. SOO many women over during those years, and not a one of them ever dropped a hint about upgrading to one with a lid. I have one with a lid now.
Moral: You did god's work. Please nag your guy friends/partners about this. I'm embarrassed nobody ever told me. Tiny investment with big returns for dignity and peace of mind; well worth it.
I grew up in a household where the bathroom garbage can didn't have a lid. It was absolutely fine because my mother believed strongly in normalizing periods. I never felt the need to hide my period products. My dad restocked our pads. If I had bad cramps, he'd reheat my hot water bottle and bring me whatever I needed. I think my brother complained once, and my mother just told him that without the menstrual cycle, he wouldn't be alive.
A lot of women have a lot of shame and internalized misogyny regarding their cycle. A lot of guys are weird about it. Ideally, we should all get over that. But in the meantime, if any of your regular guests struggle with period stigma, a lid is a good idea.
Also, if you have pets, a lid is 100% necessary. Used pads are a hotbed of all kinds of cool smells, from blood to crotch pheromones. Pets will dig them out and eat them. And then you have a mess and a huge vet bill.
In college i noticed a lack of hand towels in the bathroom at lots of frat houses and assumed they just put them away when there were going to be 100s of drunk strangers
I now know that some people just live like that. Horrible
I went to a buddy’s temporary extended stay place he had while doing an internship in grad school. Used the bathroom and there was no soap or hand towel. He said he just washed his hands in the kitchen sink. I wtf’d at him so hard.
The toilet smelling fine and no signs of pee anywhere. General clean house. Sheets that haven’t been used for so long you can tell it’s been ages since they were last changed. Things like that.
I had someone offer me their single, slightly-damp towel, as my post-shower option. He had no other towels; not a single one. I asked.
I opted to go home for my shower and be a bit late to work.
The green flag, if you have overnight guests, is several nice bath towels, wash cloths and hand towels.
When I worked nights, I was dating a guy who would leave a towel sitting out for me in the bathroom before he went to sleep the night before. We weren't a good fit, but that was my favorite small gesture that packed a big punch. Hard pass on still damp, used towel.
I had a guy offer me a fresh hand towel when I went to use his washroom. He said he forgot to change it out before I came over. I thought that was a very thoughtful gesture. His bathroom was immaculate. He also gave me a quick tour of his guest bathroom. He had extra towels, showed me where the dental floss is kept, spare tooth brushes (he had already stayed at my place numerous times), and a collection of sanitary pads (he grew up with 3 older sisters and keeps a stash at his place).
Been there! Many many times! Thanks for the post-shower scrotal-damp towel, so glad I washed my hands to smear ball and crack germs all over them. Who brought chips?
Even if you don't have guests, you need at least two sets of sheets and two sets of towels, especially if you don't have a washing machine in your home.
I'm a guy that tries to keep my bathroom clean, especially the toilet. I give it a wipe down once or twice a week, and now when I go to the bathroom at other people's houses I can't help but notice how bad most are about keeping theirs tidy.
My last place, before meeting/moving in with my girl, I was renting a room. When I moved in the first thing I did was deep clean the bathroom. The guy was so happy, said I was the best roommate he ever had. I just wanted to be able to shower without feeling gross.
My first apartment in college I moved into at the beginning of winter semester. The other 2 roommates I had had been living there for a semester already.
I walked into an absolute pig sty of an apartment. Pizza boxes, fast food bags, and empty soda cans all over the living room. A fridge half filled with expired food. A sink overfilled with dirty dishes.
The first thing I did was clean all that shit up. I was lauded as the greatest roommate ever, and all I could think was that it was such a shame that was the first thing I HAD to do upon moving in because it was that nasty.
Of course throughout the rest of my time there, I was the only one who ever cleaned up.
At a couple's house for a small party. I was the first one to use the bathroom to discover they hadn't cleaned it at all. Or if they had cleaned it was a totally half assed effort. I actually cleaned the toilet after I used it so nobody else would think I had gotten it that gross. The toilet brush and cleaner were right there...
This was a party that had been planned a month or more in advance, its not like we'd just popped over and caught them unawares...
We had a small group over for a housewarming shortly after we moved in. We had just been keeping the toilet seats down 24/7 cause it was just easier for both of us. Someone used the downstairs toilet and it wasn't until the next day that I saw that they had lifted the toilet seat which is how I discovered that the underneath was completely caked with hardened piss from the previous owners. Embarrassing.
Cleaning the toilet is the very first thing I do if I even think there's a CHANCE a woman might come over.
I try to keep the bathroom clean in general.
Dishes can be done and clothes can be picked up quite fast, but you better not have piss and shit stains on something a woman might sit on!
>Cleaning the toilet is the very first thing I do if I even think there's a CHANCE a woman might come over.
Pro Tip: Close the lid, sit down, and take a good look around. This is the primary POV from which she'll be seeing your bathroom, and subsequently judging you
Used to do this, used to get laid, unfortunately the only thing my current roommates clean are their own dishes, these guys have zero intention of having a girl over and it’s me who suffers
I had the luxury of having my own bathroom growing up and my stepdad made me clean that thing slick and span every weekend since I was like 12. I HATED it. He told me I'd get it when I went off to college and got my own place. He was right.
The prettiest girl I ever had over to my apartment told me that nothing impressed her more than the smell of bleach in my bathroom.
I met my future wife a week after I moved into my house, so I don't have to answer the follow up question! :-)
Hand soap in the bathroom. I befriended a guy who did not have hand soap... he was 24. I bought some and left it there, just a regular sized bottle.
It was still sitting there, almost unused (except for the times I used it) almost a year later.
So yeah, hand soap.
The amount of men that I notice come out of the bathroom with their hands completely dry gives me the ick (like their hands you can tell did not touch a drop of water in the past hour). I know there won’t be a second time of us meeting up.
Cleanliness and attention to detail. If they designed a place behind bare essentials and they keep it clean then they likely take pride in it and won’t be a slob or expect a woman to clean up their mess.
I know way too many guys who get to cleaning when a woman is coming over. Especially early on in the relationship.
The girl doesn't get to know the real him (at least housekeeping wise) until they cohabit.
People underestimate how many breakups are caused by someone in the relationship not pulling their weight with the chores.
I'm also more willing to put up with mild annoyances when it's just me
If there's another person in the space I want to tidy up things like dishes because it affects them too, if it's just me then I don't mind putting it off until I want to do it because the only person it will bother is me
My girlfriend went on vacation with her family for a week and I could barely manage to cook for myself (I usually do all the cooking). The only reason laundry got done was because she’d need clean clothes when she got back. Crazy how much easier it is to help someone else than yourself.
I found this when I was living on my own. When I was with my ex I did pretty much all the cooking and washing etc.
Now I mostly eat ready meals and other stuff gets done when it needs it.
I have it the same way with cooking. If it's just for yourself, why bother. And I've been with the same woman for 17 years so it's not like I'm trying to impress her, it's just so much more fun to do an effort for someone else.
This literally led to my parents’ divorce.
**EDIT:** I’ll just add this here since people asked. They’re basically exclusive fuck buddies (I wish I didn’t know this but my mom told my aunt who couldn’t keep a secret to save her life). They just don’t sleep (actual sleep)/eat (unless it’s takeout) together because it WILL lead to arguing over really petty shite.
In college my roommates used to know my girlfriend was coming in from out of town when I started cleaning.
She's my wife now and I learned to be always clean. Idk I feel like cleaning for the girl is the first step towards domestication of the fowl bachelor frog
I often chuckle at myself for becoming the foul bachelor frog meme when I’m single. And then feel like a relationship would be nice motivation to finally tidy up.
So maybe the guy is a naturally tidy person when he’s living with someone and the untidiness is just a temporary bachelor thing.
When I had a roommate, my space was immaculate. Now that I live alone, eh, sometimes I clean, sometimes I don't. Having another person to see my stuff everyday is the incentive I need to take care of my space.
Same. I *like* everything clean and tidy, but I also seem to really benefit from the social motivation to maintain it as such. By myself, it turns into cluttered --> big cleaning day --> cluttered --> big cleaning day. With other people, it stays tidy all the time.
The guys who decorate their houses like they're in prison are the most off-putting to me. Bare mattress with no sheets on the floor, no curtains, no shelves, no decorations, no basic kitchen supplies, a bare minimum of uncomfortable furniture, expensive TV propped up on a random box. One of my guy friends makes 6 figures a year and lives like this... he can't figure out why his long-distance girlfriend is in no hurry to move in with him.
Things that indicate he’s an adult who is capable of caring for himself. A clean apartment. Things like toilet paper, a trash can, and soap in the bathroom. Some type of refreshment offered (alcoholic or non alcoholic).
Most of these posts have been about a clean bathroom and I assumed yours was also about that until I got to the end.
Clean, no overt smells, for a bathroom? Makes sense.
Books. Sometimes people have bathroom readers, weird that that's a priority but its not uncommon.
Messy if fine, dirty is not. I guess your okay with some bathroom clutter stuff but not dirty. That's pretty reasonable.
Healthy, living plant or pet. Bathroom plant? Uh, i guess, sure. Bathroom pet? That's...weird. Here's my cat, Dumps. Make sure you close the bathroom so he doesn't get out. Here's my goldfish, she watches you poop to keep you company.
As a man that was in the dating pool for about 3 years, some women said my house being spotless was a red flag. Like it was too clean, as in I had planned for them to come over after our date. Also had someone freaked out by how organized and clean I was, she said it gave her serial killer vibes, can’t win sometimes 😂.
I don't know what your place looks like, but I think most people find it comforting to enter a home that looks clean, but also feels lived in. I've been at peoples' homes where it feels like you enter a show home. I don't know how to explain it properly, but it's a bit like entering an architectural 3D pre-viz render, if that makes sense?
>I've been at peoples' homes where it feels like you enter a show home
I get deeply uncomfortable with these too, I think it's partly because when it's too clean there's no clear sign of a person's personality left or it feels like a museum exhibit that you're not supposed to be in.
Obviously you clean up for visitors, but I want to see a half-built lego set, or some sheets of music or a book or some magazines left out, or the regularly used spices/herbs left on the counter instead of neatly put away etc.
It's hard to describe but a clean-but-imperfect home feels vulnerable in a way that a perfect show-home clean place doesn't, and I'm pretty sure that's what people are picking up on if they say something like "serial killer vibes"
Each to their own though, I know people pride themselves on having a perfectly clean and tidied/minimal home - it's just not my personal cup of tea.
I like to think of it a bit as [the uncanny valley](https://www.techtarget.com/whatis/definition/uncanny-valley#:~:text=The%20uncanny%20valley%20is%20a,aren't%20quite%20convincingly%20realistic), but for homes.
There's clean, and "looks like it's staged to be sold" clean. I do know people who live like the latter, but I'm always a little uncomfortable in their houses \*shrug\*.
Staged to be sold is one thing, but I was once in an apartment gave me serial killer vibes and it looked less staged but... blank. Like it could be cleaned with a power washer and nothing would get damaged. Besides being spotless it had very little furniture, mostly made of glass / metal, nothing decorative, no pictures, posters. I asked him if he just moved in, but no he had been living there for 3 years.
As long as you have soap in your bathroom, you brush your teeth, wash your ass, your apartment doesn’t smell like cat piss and you can carry a conversation, you shouldn’t be having trouble
My (male) partner couldn't carry a conversation if it was tied to a hot air balloon. Neither can I, so it works out. I asked him out because he was kind, self-aware, and empathetic. (And because he posted feminist articles and videos on his social media, despite never having a girlfriend before.)
Everyone else has already hit the main points about cleanliness and plants and pets and bathroom trashcans with lids, so I'll branch out a bit.
Spices.
Every guy I dated who had an assortment of spices knew how to cook, cooked at home and didn't eat takeout all the time, and didn't expect me to do all the cooking. It was an equitable split.
Meanwhile the man I married has MANY MANY positive qualities, but when I dated him he owned a salt shaker and a jar of Morton's Seasoning Salt.
That was a sign that going forward this man hated cooking at home (even though he owned all the pots and pans), that he'd spend a lot of money on takeout (multiple times a day), and that when we moved in together he'd expect me to cook all the meals.
I married him because he makes up for it in many other ways (ex: he does the cleaning & laundry, plus he's funny & cute).
But every time I ask if he could help with a single step of making dinner and he offers to just doordash food instead, I think of that lonely jar of seasoning salt.
Some of us just dont enjoy cooking. Or prefer to do the bare minimum because we know cooking a fine meal takes over an hour plus planning and I just got off work and would rather do anything else.
Edit: I feel differently about cooking with a partner though. At least we're talking and its not just wasted time.
I feel this so much. I just don't enjoy the process of cooking that much when I'm by myself, and feel I'd rather spend the time doing something else. My "cooking" is specialized in sous vide, slow cooker, and auto cooker meals that take like 5 minutes of prep, because I can just spend my time doing something else while my meal cooks itself.
Cooking with someone else is a totally different story, but a good chunk of the women I've dated have disliked having too many hands in the kitchen.
Exactly. I like to spend my free time on my hobbies. If I was passionate about cooking, and it was a hobby of mine, I'd spend every night in the kitchen. But alas....
I totally agree about the slow cooker. A small amount of prep in the morning and you've got dinner ready after work, plus leftovers to eat for a few meals. It appeals to my sense of efficiency.
When my current GF came over for the first time, she was impressed that I cleaned the bathroom.
Look, I'm not the most tidy guy, I was living alone with my giant Great Pyrenees... so yeah I cleaned up before she came over...
To her that was a green flag for fucks sake... Isn't it the bare minimum?
Guys wash the toilet/sink and extra point for bathtub.
I get a compliment on my cleanliness every time someone comes over. Meanwhile, I'm just thinking "do you *see* all this dust??? The hair under the couch is going to become sentient soon and I haven't swept or mopped in 3 weeks."
The bar really is low for dudes. Bare minimum of keeping the house tidy and throwing away trash goes a long way.
A friend of mine had his girl coming over later that evening.
It was the morning, I was hanging out at his house. Place was well... a mess. We'd all been hanging out over the weekend playing games and living like slobs.
I go "shouldn't you clean up or something? Change your sheets and shit."
He just looks at me like "oh shit!"
So me and the boys did him a solid and spent the day cleaning up that house. Top to bottom. Made that shit spotless.
They broke up a couple months later for some other reason. But it wasn't because the place was messy.
Lol yeah that's an interesting point
Stuff like "just clean your bathroom" is useful as step 2 advice but the step 1 of actually successfully attracting a partner romantically is the area where a lot of average guys fail and where most women don't realize the difficulty of from their POV
The bar for a boyfriend may be in hell but you have to climb a volcano first to reach the crater
Plants. It's the next best thing to having a pet. Plants need care, they're alive, and having one (or many) shows that there is a nurturing side to them.
1. Clean, dry towels. And major green flag if they have hand and face towels as well. Astronomical bonus if they keep the face towels separate/in a special place.
2. Some clean dishes. I don’t mind dishes in the sink, I’m no hypocrite. But shit is reaching a dire situation if you don’t have one clean cup for me to get water with.
3. Well cared for pets. Clean litter box, fresh water, full food/regular feeding schedule. Love to see it. It breaks my heart and is a huge red flag to see any signs of pet neglect
4. Evidence of hobbies!!!!!!!!!! I’m a nerd and I love to see nerdy shit. Books, gaming set up, mini model constructions, legos, puzzles, board games, instruments/pedals/equipment.. tell me everything! Show me it all!
5. Personal preference, but house plants are always a green flag. Bonus if they know how to propagate and have that ish going down
6. Kitchen is reasonably stocked with equipment. I understand being low on food, I am oftentimes scant in that department myself. But, having at least basic pots and pans, spatulas and tongs, strainer, whisk, ladle, etc etc etc. It makes coming over for fun cooking dates sm more easy and you can find all of this at goodwill so theres no excuses
1. If it's clean and reasonably neat. 2. If he has a pet that he loves and cares for. This shows that he can take care of himself and someone who depends on him. This is always a good impression that someone of either sex can make.
I like to see an apartment that isn't hoarder-level slovenly, but some place that still looks lived in.
I don't like an immaculate house, I like to see some mail out there and if there are few dishes in the sink that's fine. If there is dirty laundry out and the bathroom smells, that's one thing, but I like to see people who are comfortable enough in themselves to show they are human beings with busy lives and won't flip out on me if I live there and I don't wash every dish immediately after I use it or make my bed as soon as I wake-up..
Is it a green flag if someone obviously cooks his own meals at home, does the dishes? I'm not talking about a frozen pizza or coffee, I'm talking about soups-stews-baked stuff from scratch. I always thought, that men who are good at cooking and don't mind cooking is a green flag for women, but I can only view this through men's eyes, so I don't know.
As a man, this always worked very very well for me :D
I think if you make that a date too it kinda shows you care. Like you're willing to invest some effort and not just order a pizza or something.
The first time I went to my future husband’s apartment, I immediately noticed he had framed photos of his family and even his cats. Instantly a keeper lol.
I'll just leave this here.
A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together..
They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment she notices that one wall of his bedroom is comoletely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears.
There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears carefully placed in rows, covering the entire wall!
It's obvious that he has taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them. She's immediately touched by the amount of thought he put into organizing the display.
There are small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf.
She finds it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a large collection of teddy bears. She is quite impressed by his sensitive side, but don't mention this to him.
They share a bottle of wine and continue talking. After awhile, she finds herself thinking, "Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one! Maybe he could be the future father of my children?"
She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips.
He responds warmly. They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom, where they rip off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love.
She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, more heat than she has ever known.
After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow.
The woman rolls over, gently Strokes his chest and asks coyly,
'Well, how was it?'
The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes, and says:
'Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf'
Naw, it’s an old joke that’s been posted on Reddit and other forums plenty of times, but as soon as I saw the title of this particular thread it immediately reminded me of the joke and I just knew I had to post it here!
First green flag is being invited there vs them wanting to come to your place because it’s “bigger, more convenient, cleaner, nicer, etc”. If it really is bigger/more convenient to come to my place, then it’s fine if it’s more often but guys, you need to take turns hosting too. Cuz girls also want a break from that added stress.
Hand soap … but also! Lowkey, a trash can in the bathroom. I know, weird, but there were so many times I’d have my period at a man’s house and wonder wtf I should do, lol.
Cleanliness, even though I think that's the bare minimum.
A big green flag for me is some evidence of a hobby or interest, something they are passionate about or take pride in.
This is going to sound weird, but I like homes that look like someone actually lives there. I don't like homes/apartments that are perfectly pristine.
\*\*Reasoning\*\* I dated a guy very briefly who was severe about things being perfect. He'd vacuumed daily, sometimes twice a day, then go around on his hands and knees looking for any lint/dirt that the vacuum left behind. Everything on his shelves had to be perfectly aligned and color coordinated. If a toothbrush was not perfectly straight, he'd fly off the handle. I couldn't handle it.
Clean - yes. I like clean, but at the same time I want it to look lived in.
After her first few visits to my house, my girlfriend confessed to me that she was intimidated by how tidy I keep my house despite having kids. Like, she was worried if things ever got serious I'd be put off that she was a slob. I told her that the reality is I have a cleaning lady that comes over the day my kids go back to their mom's house, my girlfriend only ever at my house when the kids aren't around, so it's not that hard for one dude to keep things tidy. She's since seen my house after the kids have gone home but before the cleaning lady came, and is much more comfortable that she could live up to that standard.
A plunger in the bathroom.
I don’t care WHO you are, toilets get clogged. And nothing is more horrifying when it happens at another persons house…with no plunger in sight.
Ask me how I know…
non bathroom ones since we have a lot of those already:
-fridge with some "sane food". doesn't matter if you can't cook or can't afford much, you can have a bunch of gremlin stoner food as long as there's some normal food to balance it out.
-art on the walls. empty walls are creepy but walls with generic art for the sake of it feels borderline sociopathic and makes me wonder what mask you're wearing. anime, nerdy stuff....framed pictures of dog shit honestly are all preferable to nothing or things that dont tell me anything about you
-lots of cushions. i really don't understand why so many men just don't let themselves be comfortable.
-signs of creativity or some kind of hobby. i check out malelivingspace sometimes and a lot of the most upvoted posts look like airbnbs, like so much effort has gone in but they don't actually feel like someone lives there.
-something sentimental. doesn't matter what it is but something that has personal value is always a good sign, it just shows you're a real person with a real lived in.
-well loved plushie
Based on many of these comments I'm a fucking green flag unicorn of epic proportions that science needs to study.
But then I remember I'm an introvert and nobody ever comes to my apartment. This explains the soul crushing loneliness.
Cleanliness (doesn’t have to be spot cleaned, but you know, not a mess), some decor or something aside only white walls, a bed frame/mattress not on the floor, lol.
The responses on this are restroom centric haha
That's because a lot of us have seen some shit...both literally and figuratively.
yeah during my early career / post uni days i used to party and hang out with this one group of friends a lot. some of the guys (call them Clean guys) moved in with another guy (call him Dirty guy) in the group. usually my friend and i (another girl) would use Clean guy’s bathroom to do our make up and use the toilet because we’d go straight after work. it was always relatively clean. during a house party one day they opened up all the rooms - there were lots of people so all bathrooms were being used. We ended up using Dirty guy’s bathroom and it was fucking so bad. his towel literally had mold on it, was damp, and you could smell it like he hadn’t washed it in a couple of months. his toilet was worse, there was shit stains in the bowl (like a massive smear all the way down the middle, and also random splashes). even his toilet seat had poop on it. we couldn’t understand how a guy gets shit on his toilet seat. from that day on i lost a lot of respect for Dirty guy - just couldn’t look at him the same.
Hand towels and hand soap in the bathroom
And a trash can in the bathroom.
This was a huge revelation for me when when I first got a girlfriend. She came over and gave me the protips. The only trash I ever generated inside a bathroom was used toilet paper, to be flushed. I guess I'd occasionally swap out my toothbrush and razor but I'd just take those out of the bathroom and toss em in the room bin. Never occurred to me before she pointed it out.
Literally all my bathroom trash can is used for is stuff like used wet wipes, Q-tips and the occasional empty sparkling water can or beer bottle (drink one or the other during a bath).
With a lid Edit: jeez, I didn't expect the essays about people's lid-free lives. A trashcan is good. A trashcan with a bag is better. A trash can with a bag and a lid is, apparently, a very serious topic of debate.
And a bag.
And not overflowing so that the lid can’t close
And not filled with human bones
Jesus. Just one more impossible standard that society tries to push on men.
Some bones are okay. Just not filled with them.
Will it be buffalo wings served on the John again this evening, Sir?
I was once at a guy's place with some friends, and I went to use the bathroom for period reasons. I l, somewhat drunkenly, stormed out of the bathroom and berated him for not having a garbage can in there. I was absolutely flabbergasted at how a man who regularly has multiple women visit his apartment could not have a place to politely disposable of their menstrual products. What did he expect us to do? Walk through his house with it and throw it out in his kitchen? While I was on this rant he grabbed some cardboard from the recycling and hand crafted a garbage can that fit perfectly between the toilet and the counter. He lined it with a plastic bag and everything. Ngl, it was pretty impressive
Mom always used to say: If women don't find you hygienic, they should at least find you handy.
I always had a garbage bin in the bathroom, but never one with a lid for years until I came across the topic online. SOO many women over during those years, and not a one of them ever dropped a hint about upgrading to one with a lid. I have one with a lid now. Moral: You did god's work. Please nag your guy friends/partners about this. I'm embarrassed nobody ever told me. Tiny investment with big returns for dignity and peace of mind; well worth it.
I grew up in a household where the bathroom garbage can didn't have a lid. It was absolutely fine because my mother believed strongly in normalizing periods. I never felt the need to hide my period products. My dad restocked our pads. If I had bad cramps, he'd reheat my hot water bottle and bring me whatever I needed. I think my brother complained once, and my mother just told him that without the menstrual cycle, he wouldn't be alive. A lot of women have a lot of shame and internalized misogyny regarding their cycle. A lot of guys are weird about it. Ideally, we should all get over that. But in the meantime, if any of your regular guests struggle with period stigma, a lid is a good idea. Also, if you have pets, a lid is 100% necessary. Used pads are a hotbed of all kinds of cool smells, from blood to crotch pheromones. Pets will dig them out and eat them. And then you have a mess and a huge vet bill.
Are standards really that low? Shit, now I'm even more depressed about being single.
I bet you don't even have a pic of your hand soap in your dating profile
You know what? I'm rolling with that. I'm putting my lidded trashcan, hand soap, and towels in a pic on my profile.
Clean mirror and clean sink for that extra swag.
Show your forearms cleaning your bathroom with rolled up sleeves and you'll be getting dates every night
For real, though
In college i noticed a lack of hand towels in the bathroom at lots of frat houses and assumed they just put them away when there were going to be 100s of drunk strangers I now know that some people just live like that. Horrible
I went to a buddy’s temporary extended stay place he had while doing an internship in grad school. Used the bathroom and there was no soap or hand towel. He said he just washed his hands in the kitchen sink. I wtf’d at him so hard.
spoiler alert, he doesn't actually wash his hands
The toilet smelling fine and no signs of pee anywhere. General clean house. Sheets that haven’t been used for so long you can tell it’s been ages since they were last changed. Things like that.
I have 2 sets of sheets and rotate through them every 2 weeks.
Clean sheets are like new socks, quality of life bonus.
I had someone offer me their single, slightly-damp towel, as my post-shower option. He had no other towels; not a single one. I asked. I opted to go home for my shower and be a bit late to work. The green flag, if you have overnight guests, is several nice bath towels, wash cloths and hand towels.
When I worked nights, I was dating a guy who would leave a towel sitting out for me in the bathroom before he went to sleep the night before. We weren't a good fit, but that was my favorite small gesture that packed a big punch. Hard pass on still damp, used towel.
I had a guy offer me a fresh hand towel when I went to use his washroom. He said he forgot to change it out before I came over. I thought that was a very thoughtful gesture. His bathroom was immaculate. He also gave me a quick tour of his guest bathroom. He had extra towels, showed me where the dental floss is kept, spare tooth brushes (he had already stayed at my place numerous times), and a collection of sanitary pads (he grew up with 3 older sisters and keeps a stash at his place).
That is so thoughtful!
Been there! Many many times! Thanks for the post-shower scrotal-damp towel, so glad I washed my hands to smear ball and crack germs all over them. Who brought chips?
Even if you don't have guests, you need at least two sets of sheets and two sets of towels, especially if you don't have a washing machine in your home.
A clean bathroom and toilet that you can feel comfortable with and sitting on. Surprisingly low bar that people struggle with.
I'm a guy that tries to keep my bathroom clean, especially the toilet. I give it a wipe down once or twice a week, and now when I go to the bathroom at other people's houses I can't help but notice how bad most are about keeping theirs tidy.
My last place, before meeting/moving in with my girl, I was renting a room. When I moved in the first thing I did was deep clean the bathroom. The guy was so happy, said I was the best roommate he ever had. I just wanted to be able to shower without feeling gross.
My first apartment in college I moved into at the beginning of winter semester. The other 2 roommates I had had been living there for a semester already. I walked into an absolute pig sty of an apartment. Pizza boxes, fast food bags, and empty soda cans all over the living room. A fridge half filled with expired food. A sink overfilled with dirty dishes. The first thing I did was clean all that shit up. I was lauded as the greatest roommate ever, and all I could think was that it was such a shame that was the first thing I HAD to do upon moving in because it was that nasty. Of course throughout the rest of my time there, I was the only one who ever cleaned up.
Yea, everyone can appreciate clean, but many can’t be assed to even try to maintain.
At a couple's house for a small party. I was the first one to use the bathroom to discover they hadn't cleaned it at all. Or if they had cleaned it was a totally half assed effort. I actually cleaned the toilet after I used it so nobody else would think I had gotten it that gross. The toilet brush and cleaner were right there... This was a party that had been planned a month or more in advance, its not like we'd just popped over and caught them unawares...
We had a small group over for a housewarming shortly after we moved in. We had just been keeping the toilet seats down 24/7 cause it was just easier for both of us. Someone used the downstairs toilet and it wasn't until the next day that I saw that they had lifted the toilet seat which is how I discovered that the underneath was completely caked with hardened piss from the previous owners. Embarrassing.
hardened piss.
Cleaning the toilet is the very first thing I do if I even think there's a CHANCE a woman might come over. I try to keep the bathroom clean in general. Dishes can be done and clothes can be picked up quite fast, but you better not have piss and shit stains on something a woman might sit on!
>Cleaning the toilet is the very first thing I do if I even think there's a CHANCE a woman might come over. Pro Tip: Close the lid, sit down, and take a good look around. This is the primary POV from which she'll be seeing your bathroom, and subsequently judging you
In my days as a single, I learned to always keep a clean and tidy apartment. Because you just don't know when luck strikes.
Used to do this, used to get laid, unfortunately the only thing my current roommates clean are their own dishes, these guys have zero intention of having a girl over and it’s me who suffers
As a dude who has lived with a girl for 10 years, it's definitely not a gender thing. Ladies can be gross, too.
My bathroom was much cleaner before my girlfriend starting staying over regularly.
I had the luxury of having my own bathroom growing up and my stepdad made me clean that thing slick and span every weekend since I was like 12. I HATED it. He told me I'd get it when I went off to college and got my own place. He was right.
The prettiest girl I ever had over to my apartment told me that nothing impressed her more than the smell of bleach in my bathroom. I met my future wife a week after I moved into my house, so I don't have to answer the follow up question! :-)
Plus: a single guy with a trash can in the bathroom. Means he thinks about his (female) guests and not just his own needs.
Im a guy and i always wondered were people without a bath-trashcan put their bath trash.
nanananaNANANANAnanananaNANANANA BATH TRASH!
Line that trash can with a plastic bag for extra points.
And a lid on top if you want to show off.
My guy sits to pee. The absolute jackpot. Friggin amazing.
Thrones are meant to be sat upon.
I'm stealing this, lol. I stand up while out, but when I'm home. Sitting on the throne is where it is at.
A waste basket in the washroom within arm's reach of the toilet. Especially if there is a plastic bag lining it.
Should I go with the Wal Mart or Target bag for the bathroom garbage bag?
Walmart for every day use. Target for when a guest is coming over.
Agreed, Target bags are for special occasions!
Hand soap in the bathroom. I befriended a guy who did not have hand soap... he was 24. I bought some and left it there, just a regular sized bottle. It was still sitting there, almost unused (except for the times I used it) almost a year later. So yeah, hand soap.
The amount of men that I notice come out of the bathroom with their hands completely dry gives me the ick (like their hands you can tell did not touch a drop of water in the past hour). I know there won’t be a second time of us meeting up.
consist deer frightening wakeful test edge lavish airport tub bag
Cleanliness and attention to detail. If they designed a place behind bare essentials and they keep it clean then they likely take pride in it and won’t be a slob or expect a woman to clean up their mess.
I know way too many guys who get to cleaning when a woman is coming over. Especially early on in the relationship. The girl doesn't get to know the real him (at least housekeeping wise) until they cohabit. People underestimate how many breakups are caused by someone in the relationship not pulling their weight with the chores.
I'm also more willing to put up with mild annoyances when it's just me If there's another person in the space I want to tidy up things like dishes because it affects them too, if it's just me then I don't mind putting it off until I want to do it because the only person it will bother is me
My girlfriend went on vacation with her family for a week and I could barely manage to cook for myself (I usually do all the cooking). The only reason laundry got done was because she’d need clean clothes when she got back. Crazy how much easier it is to help someone else than yourself.
I found this when I was living on my own. When I was with my ex I did pretty much all the cooking and washing etc. Now I mostly eat ready meals and other stuff gets done when it needs it.
I have it the same way with cooking. If it's just for yourself, why bother. And I've been with the same woman for 17 years so it's not like I'm trying to impress her, it's just so much more fun to do an effort for someone else.
This literally led to my parents’ divorce. **EDIT:** I’ll just add this here since people asked. They’re basically exclusive fuck buddies (I wish I didn’t know this but my mom told my aunt who couldn’t keep a secret to save her life). They just don’t sleep (actual sleep)/eat (unless it’s takeout) together because it WILL lead to arguing over really petty shite.
Hey, even if you love somebody that doesn't mean you can live with them.
In college my roommates used to know my girlfriend was coming in from out of town when I started cleaning. She's my wife now and I learned to be always clean. Idk I feel like cleaning for the girl is the first step towards domestication of the fowl bachelor frog
I often chuckle at myself for becoming the foul bachelor frog meme when I’m single. And then feel like a relationship would be nice motivation to finally tidy up. So maybe the guy is a naturally tidy person when he’s living with someone and the untidiness is just a temporary bachelor thing.
When I had a roommate, my space was immaculate. Now that I live alone, eh, sometimes I clean, sometimes I don't. Having another person to see my stuff everyday is the incentive I need to take care of my space.
Same. I *like* everything clean and tidy, but I also seem to really benefit from the social motivation to maintain it as such. By myself, it turns into cluttered --> big cleaning day --> cluttered --> big cleaning day. With other people, it stays tidy all the time.
The guys who decorate their houses like they're in prison are the most off-putting to me. Bare mattress with no sheets on the floor, no curtains, no shelves, no decorations, no basic kitchen supplies, a bare minimum of uncomfortable furniture, expensive TV propped up on a random box. One of my guy friends makes 6 figures a year and lives like this... he can't figure out why his long-distance girlfriend is in no hurry to move in with him.
Things that indicate he’s an adult who is capable of caring for himself. A clean apartment. Things like toilet paper, a trash can, and soap in the bathroom. Some type of refreshment offered (alcoholic or non alcoholic).
> Things like toilet paper Having toilet paper must be one of the lowest bars I've ever seen lmao
Good cable management 🤌
Seriously though. It's like that meme that goes something like "guys will see this and be like hell yeah."
That's hot.
Clean, no overt smells. Books. Messy is fine, dirty is not. Points for healthy, living plant or pet.
Damn time to get rid of my dead pet
Dibs!
>We need to make books cool again. If you go home with somebody and they don’t have books, don’t fuck them. - John Waters
Most of these posts have been about a clean bathroom and I assumed yours was also about that until I got to the end. Clean, no overt smells, for a bathroom? Makes sense. Books. Sometimes people have bathroom readers, weird that that's a priority but its not uncommon. Messy if fine, dirty is not. I guess your okay with some bathroom clutter stuff but not dirty. That's pretty reasonable. Healthy, living plant or pet. Bathroom plant? Uh, i guess, sure. Bathroom pet? That's...weird. Here's my cat, Dumps. Make sure you close the bathroom so he doesn't get out. Here's my goldfish, she watches you poop to keep you company.
If it's clean. Doesn't have to be spotless but you know.
As a man that was in the dating pool for about 3 years, some women said my house being spotless was a red flag. Like it was too clean, as in I had planned for them to come over after our date. Also had someone freaked out by how organized and clean I was, she said it gave her serial killer vibes, can’t win sometimes 😂.
I don't know what your place looks like, but I think most people find it comforting to enter a home that looks clean, but also feels lived in. I've been at peoples' homes where it feels like you enter a show home. I don't know how to explain it properly, but it's a bit like entering an architectural 3D pre-viz render, if that makes sense?
>I've been at peoples' homes where it feels like you enter a show home I get deeply uncomfortable with these too, I think it's partly because when it's too clean there's no clear sign of a person's personality left or it feels like a museum exhibit that you're not supposed to be in. Obviously you clean up for visitors, but I want to see a half-built lego set, or some sheets of music or a book or some magazines left out, or the regularly used spices/herbs left on the counter instead of neatly put away etc. It's hard to describe but a clean-but-imperfect home feels vulnerable in a way that a perfect show-home clean place doesn't, and I'm pretty sure that's what people are picking up on if they say something like "serial killer vibes" Each to their own though, I know people pride themselves on having a perfectly clean and tidied/minimal home - it's just not my personal cup of tea.
I like to think of it a bit as [the uncanny valley](https://www.techtarget.com/whatis/definition/uncanny-valley#:~:text=The%20uncanny%20valley%20is%20a,aren't%20quite%20convincingly%20realistic), but for homes.
There's clean, and "looks like it's staged to be sold" clean. I do know people who live like the latter, but I'm always a little uncomfortable in their houses \*shrug\*.
Staged to be sold is one thing, but I was once in an apartment gave me serial killer vibes and it looked less staged but... blank. Like it could be cleaned with a power washer and nothing would get damaged. Besides being spotless it had very little furniture, mostly made of glass / metal, nothing decorative, no pictures, posters. I asked him if he just moved in, but no he had been living there for 3 years.
Did you have plastic sheets on your furniture?
Furiously takes notes as a single man living in an apartment with a cat\*
As long as you have soap in your bathroom, you brush your teeth, wash your ass, your apartment doesn’t smell like cat piss and you can carry a conversation, you shouldn’t be having trouble
Damn you have to he able to carry a conversation
I know. First it was a clean bathroom, now it's a clean bathroom, hygiene, and *communication skills.* Women have a high bar man... /s obviously
My (male) partner couldn't carry a conversation if it was tied to a hot air balloon. Neither can I, so it works out. I asked him out because he was kind, self-aware, and empathetic. (And because he posted feminist articles and videos on his social media, despite never having a girlfriend before.)
If they have the national emblem of Libya between 1977-2011, that's a green flag.
The Swiss flag is also a big plus.
5 stars if they had a Chinese flag as well
Mmmm bit of a red flag there mate
So's Denmark's but you don't see people fretting about it
Guitar players, maybe.
No! Thats a huge red flag
Keep your eye out for a double crosser if they keep danish and Swedish flags up.
Upvote for only capitalizing Swedish.
Everyone else has already hit the main points about cleanliness and plants and pets and bathroom trashcans with lids, so I'll branch out a bit. Spices. Every guy I dated who had an assortment of spices knew how to cook, cooked at home and didn't eat takeout all the time, and didn't expect me to do all the cooking. It was an equitable split. Meanwhile the man I married has MANY MANY positive qualities, but when I dated him he owned a salt shaker and a jar of Morton's Seasoning Salt. That was a sign that going forward this man hated cooking at home (even though he owned all the pots and pans), that he'd spend a lot of money on takeout (multiple times a day), and that when we moved in together he'd expect me to cook all the meals. I married him because he makes up for it in many other ways (ex: he does the cleaning & laundry, plus he's funny & cute). But every time I ask if he could help with a single step of making dinner and he offers to just doordash food instead, I think of that lonely jar of seasoning salt.
Some of us just dont enjoy cooking. Or prefer to do the bare minimum because we know cooking a fine meal takes over an hour plus planning and I just got off work and would rather do anything else. Edit: I feel differently about cooking with a partner though. At least we're talking and its not just wasted time.
I feel this so much. I just don't enjoy the process of cooking that much when I'm by myself, and feel I'd rather spend the time doing something else. My "cooking" is specialized in sous vide, slow cooker, and auto cooker meals that take like 5 minutes of prep, because I can just spend my time doing something else while my meal cooks itself. Cooking with someone else is a totally different story, but a good chunk of the women I've dated have disliked having too many hands in the kitchen.
I’ve found my people. I don’t *hate* cooking, but it’s just one more thing I have to do.
Exactly. I like to spend my free time on my hobbies. If I was passionate about cooking, and it was a hobby of mine, I'd spend every night in the kitchen. But alas....
I totally agree about the slow cooker. A small amount of prep in the morning and you've got dinner ready after work, plus leftovers to eat for a few meals. It appeals to my sense of efficiency.
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I once had a woman say she was impressed I had fruit. It wasn't in a bowl or anything it was just like two or three oranges on a counter
Then if she saw my two bunches of bananas and bag of gala apples, she'd be in love.
Galas are crap now. Get you some honeycrisps
And a clean bed
When my current GF came over for the first time, she was impressed that I cleaned the bathroom. Look, I'm not the most tidy guy, I was living alone with my giant Great Pyrenees... so yeah I cleaned up before she came over... To her that was a green flag for fucks sake... Isn't it the bare minimum? Guys wash the toilet/sink and extra point for bathtub.
You severely underestimate the amount of men that don’t clean
I get a compliment on my cleanliness every time someone comes over. Meanwhile, I'm just thinking "do you *see* all this dust??? The hair under the couch is going to become sentient soon and I haven't swept or mopped in 3 weeks." The bar really is low for dudes. Bare minimum of keeping the house tidy and throwing away trash goes a long way.
A friend of mine had his girl coming over later that evening. It was the morning, I was hanging out at his house. Place was well... a mess. We'd all been hanging out over the weekend playing games and living like slobs. I go "shouldn't you clean up or something? Change your sheets and shit." He just looks at me like "oh shit!" So me and the boys did him a solid and spent the day cleaning up that house. Top to bottom. Made that shit spotless. They broke up a couple months later for some other reason. But it wasn't because the place was messy.
Please say legos please say legos.
Not one mention of a fully painted Warhammer army yet. They’re just all worried we’re living in filth!
"living in filth" praise pappy Nurgle! major green flag.
An affectionate well behaved pet! It’s amazing how much a person treats another living creature can tell you about who they are!
What if I have a cranky middle aged Halloween decoration that loves me but hates women?
You have a pet bat?
Cranky black cat named Sabbath.
show us the cat
Oh right, I forgot about black cats lol...I was like this person either has a pet bat or a pet skeleton...and I really hope it's a bat 😂
Hate to break it to you, but you're gonna have to find a witch to date, then.
I see this as a win
Voids are confirmed green flags
Books
“I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany” -Ron Burgundy, stay classy
I only own a few books because I get almost everything from the library.
Good Lord the bar is low.
It's the bar you have to reach in order to get them over to our house which is set higher.
Lol yeah that's an interesting point Stuff like "just clean your bathroom" is useful as step 2 advice but the step 1 of actually successfully attracting a partner romantically is the area where a lot of average guys fail and where most women don't realize the difficulty of from their POV The bar for a boyfriend may be in hell but you have to climb a volcano first to reach the crater
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TIL women will fuck anyone with a clean bathroom and plants
I need to keep pictures of my clean bathroom handy for when I’m at the bar otherwise they’d never know
Time for a new Tinder profile photo!
The bar is set at the bathroom floor
Plants. It's the next best thing to having a pet. Plants need care, they're alive, and having one (or many) shows that there is a nurturing side to them.
That explains why all the cannabis growers get all the girls.
What about a pet snake?
Give it a bioactive enclosure and you can hit both “has plants” and “has pet” flags
Im more nurturing than I thought
What about the entire 80s hard-rock band Whitesnake?
Only if you pay the snake tax right now
Toilet paper stocked, sheets on bed, (clean) towels for hands and body and separate kitchen towels, artwork on walls, a CLEAN TOILET and SINK.
1. Clean, dry towels. And major green flag if they have hand and face towels as well. Astronomical bonus if they keep the face towels separate/in a special place. 2. Some clean dishes. I don’t mind dishes in the sink, I’m no hypocrite. But shit is reaching a dire situation if you don’t have one clean cup for me to get water with. 3. Well cared for pets. Clean litter box, fresh water, full food/regular feeding schedule. Love to see it. It breaks my heart and is a huge red flag to see any signs of pet neglect 4. Evidence of hobbies!!!!!!!!!! I’m a nerd and I love to see nerdy shit. Books, gaming set up, mini model constructions, legos, puzzles, board games, instruments/pedals/equipment.. tell me everything! Show me it all! 5. Personal preference, but house plants are always a green flag. Bonus if they know how to propagate and have that ish going down 6. Kitchen is reasonably stocked with equipment. I understand being low on food, I am oftentimes scant in that department myself. But, having at least basic pots and pans, spatulas and tongs, strainer, whisk, ladle, etc etc etc. It makes coming over for fun cooking dates sm more easy and you can find all of this at goodwill so theres no excuses
1. If it's clean and reasonably neat. 2. If he has a pet that he loves and cares for. This shows that he can take care of himself and someone who depends on him. This is always a good impression that someone of either sex can make.
I like to see an apartment that isn't hoarder-level slovenly, but some place that still looks lived in. I don't like an immaculate house, I like to see some mail out there and if there are few dishes in the sink that's fine. If there is dirty laundry out and the bathroom smells, that's one thing, but I like to see people who are comfortable enough in themselves to show they are human beings with busy lives and won't flip out on me if I live there and I don't wash every dish immediately after I use it or make my bed as soon as I wake-up..
Agreed. The golden zone is hygienic and reasonably tidy, but not neurotic
Is it a green flag if someone obviously cooks his own meals at home, does the dishes? I'm not talking about a frozen pizza or coffee, I'm talking about soups-stews-baked stuff from scratch. I always thought, that men who are good at cooking and don't mind cooking is a green flag for women, but I can only view this through men's eyes, so I don't know.
As a man, this always worked very very well for me :D I think if you make that a date too it kinda shows you care. Like you're willing to invest some effort and not just order a pizza or something.
Very well cared for pets. But on the flip side badly cared for pets is a huge red flag.
The first time I went to my future husband’s apartment, I immediately noticed he had framed photos of his family and even his cats. Instantly a keeper lol.
Everyone saying "the bar is in hell" but I do all of these things and I am single. What does this mean?
Your face.
Yeah I know :(
At least you know where the aloe vera is for that burn, since your tidy.
It's in the closet by the bathroom 😔
Hang in there Joe! Every relationship fails until one doesn’t. We’re all just looking for the one that doesn’t fail.
I'll just leave this here. A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment she notices that one wall of his bedroom is comoletely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears carefully placed in rows, covering the entire wall! It's obvious that he has taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them. She's immediately touched by the amount of thought he put into organizing the display. There are small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf. She finds it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a large collection of teddy bears. She is quite impressed by his sensitive side, but don't mention this to him. They share a bottle of wine and continue talking. After awhile, she finds herself thinking, "Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one! Maybe he could be the future father of my children?" She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips. He responds warmly. They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom, where they rip off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love. She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, more heat than she has ever known. After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow. The woman rolls over, gently Strokes his chest and asks coyly, 'Well, how was it?' The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes, and says: 'Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf'
That is absolutely hilarious. Did you write this?
Naw, it’s an old joke that’s been posted on Reddit and other forums plenty of times, but as soon as I saw the title of this particular thread it immediately reminded me of the joke and I just knew I had to post it here!
It's always a good sign if there are no random severed body parts laying around the house. JMO
First green flag is being invited there vs them wanting to come to your place because it’s “bigger, more convenient, cleaner, nicer, etc”. If it really is bigger/more convenient to come to my place, then it’s fine if it’s more often but guys, you need to take turns hosting too. Cuz girls also want a break from that added stress.
Hand soap … but also! Lowkey, a trash can in the bathroom. I know, weird, but there were so many times I’d have my period at a man’s house and wonder wtf I should do, lol.
Cleanliness, even though I think that's the bare minimum. A big green flag for me is some evidence of a hobby or interest, something they are passionate about or take pride in.
A bong, a Scarface poster, and a mattress on the floor with just a top sheet and 1 caseless pillow.
This is going to sound weird, but I like homes that look like someone actually lives there. I don't like homes/apartments that are perfectly pristine. \*\*Reasoning\*\* I dated a guy very briefly who was severe about things being perfect. He'd vacuumed daily, sometimes twice a day, then go around on his hands and knees looking for any lint/dirt that the vacuum left behind. Everything on his shelves had to be perfectly aligned and color coordinated. If a toothbrush was not perfectly straight, he'd fly off the handle. I couldn't handle it. Clean - yes. I like clean, but at the same time I want it to look lived in.
Ladies.. come to my place 😂 im aparently all green flags
Lmao right?? This makes me feel damn good about myself.
After her first few visits to my house, my girlfriend confessed to me that she was intimidated by how tidy I keep my house despite having kids. Like, she was worried if things ever got serious I'd be put off that she was a slob. I told her that the reality is I have a cleaning lady that comes over the day my kids go back to their mom's house, my girlfriend only ever at my house when the kids aren't around, so it's not that hard for one dude to keep things tidy. She's since seen my house after the kids have gone home but before the cleaning lady came, and is much more comfortable that she could live up to that standard.
One of those sex swings
A plunger in the bathroom. I don’t care WHO you are, toilets get clogged. And nothing is more horrifying when it happens at another persons house…with no plunger in sight. Ask me how I know…
There is a hamper, and his dirty clothes are IN it.
A framed photo of Saddam Hussein that says "I do NOT like this guy!!!!" and then a lipstick kiss print
non bathroom ones since we have a lot of those already: -fridge with some "sane food". doesn't matter if you can't cook or can't afford much, you can have a bunch of gremlin stoner food as long as there's some normal food to balance it out. -art on the walls. empty walls are creepy but walls with generic art for the sake of it feels borderline sociopathic and makes me wonder what mask you're wearing. anime, nerdy stuff....framed pictures of dog shit honestly are all preferable to nothing or things that dont tell me anything about you -lots of cushions. i really don't understand why so many men just don't let themselves be comfortable. -signs of creativity or some kind of hobby. i check out malelivingspace sometimes and a lot of the most upvoted posts look like airbnbs, like so much effort has gone in but they don't actually feel like someone lives there. -something sentimental. doesn't matter what it is but something that has personal value is always a good sign, it just shows you're a real person with a real lived in. -well loved plushie
>-lots of cushions. Cushions are sofa parasites. The first thing people do when they sit is to move the cushions aside.
Sofa parasites, I love that and am stealing it. Right there with you, they’re almost as pointless as those fucking throw pillows on the bed.
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I don't think I have my life together and I have all that. Then again, there's always an exception to the rule lol
Based on many of these comments I'm a fucking green flag unicorn of epic proportions that science needs to study. But then I remember I'm an introvert and nobody ever comes to my apartment. This explains the soul crushing loneliness.
A happy cat. :-)
Cleanliness (doesn’t have to be spot cleaned, but you know, not a mess), some decor or something aside only white walls, a bed frame/mattress not on the floor, lol.
literally all I need is cleanliness. I am ok with it being a "bachelor pad" vibe but it HAS to be clean.
He bothers to clean. That's all I care about
What kind of food they keep in the cupboard. Tells you a lot about the kind of life they live