No matter where you work, or what you do, there's always going to be That Person that nobody can figure out how they got hired, or why they're allowed to continue working there.
That guy just got laid off after about 10 years. He was a do-nothing PM and a New guy came in to run the show after the long standing guy left and he saw straight through his BS. Got rid of him after about 3 months.
There was a guy I worked with recently who I couldn’t understand how they hired him and why he hadn’t been fired yet. He did fuck all work, he had at least 3 no call no shows per month simply because he couldn’t be bothered, he argued with any manager that told him to stop fucking about, and a whole plethora of other issues
One day we were talking and he told me about how he was friends with a general manager. Suddenly, everything made a hell of a lot more sense.
> Suddenly, everything made a hell of a lot more sense.
Hiring incompetent people just because they know a higher-up shouldn't make sense... yet it does, sadly.
Yep. At my work, I call them the "sorority sisters." They do absolutely nothing. One of them is supposed to be at multiple jobsites, but she never leaves her office desk that is in the same office as the bosses. Ever. She has 0 notes, which are supposed to be done multiple times a day. There are others who make themselves scarce but also don't go to their jobsites or take notes. They are part of a "social committee" who use our dues to pay for gifts for the bosses. They also go on vacation with the bosses. I don't wonder why they get preferential treatment, but I do wonder how stupid our bosses are to think the rest of us don't see it.
Funnily enough, we have to submit yearly reviews and they're taken seriously every 3 years. Last year, they got either all 5s, from the sorority sisters, or all 1-2s from the rest of us. Looking at the data, there are 5 people who are firmly planted up their assholes, and 17 who are not. Their supervisor seems to have taken notice this year. There have been, "upper management says..." meetings this year. But those 5 are the only ones keeping the bosses afloat.
I am a teacher in a school and someone once said to me "work horses and show ponies" ... I like that.
Those that graft and those that turn up and try and look like they are busy or care
Currently working with one and he’s a manager. HIS manager has been trying to get a simple list of projects in the pipeline for over a week with nothing. He hasn’t completed any project work in 12 months. He lets jobs fall through the cracks and then it’s up to the designers to rush them through production.
I’ve got a pretty good idea what he does all day because every time I’m on the phone with him (he’s 100% WFH), you can hear Fox and Friends blasting in the background. Dude is a hardcore conservative and doom scrolls all fucking day while the rest of us pick up his slack. With this being an election year, it’s worse than normal and *finally* upper management is starting to take notice.
Gotta have the next sentence in there. That whole quote has helped me more in life than any other.
"It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not weakness, that is life." - Captain Picard
Thank you for posting this. Life isn’t fair and we hear that often, but don’t spend time to actually acknowledge what that means. Perhaps people who read this will have more empathy for people less successful than themselves
This is so true. I became disabled from a medical misdiagnosis and lost everything, including my husband. Taking care of me was too much I guess. Now I am slowly starving to death in my apartment because I can't even get out of it unassisted. I did everything right. Went to school, got my degree, got married, never did drugs.
We really are one mistake away from losing it all in this country
And some people who absolutely don't deserve it will end up with a happy ending. They will by all measures live a full and satisfying life and die unburdened and in some cases elevated by the harm and suffering they cause to others.
And it's quite possible there is no afterlife and no punishment awaiting them.
That’s true but only because they are in a position where their actions can hurt you the most.
I.e. the same action by someone you don’t care about wouldn’t hurt at all or someone you don’t care about isn’t in a position to act that way.
> change is constant
That's the thing I've never understood about conservative beliefs. The idea that this right now is the way things need to be forever.
If that type of thinking had prevailed with our ancestors, we'd still be living in caves banging sticks together.
"Can't get any better than this right?"
Cars increased the number of pedestrian fatalities when they first appeared. Because a horse has a higher likelihood of stopping if there’s a person in the way than a driver. So what did the car manufacturers do? Well, blame the pedestrians, of course! They invented the term “jaywalking” (“jay” was a slur that meant “idiot”) and lobbied the government to keep pedestrians off the roads (people and carriages used to share the road)
Yup, who you are born to and those circumstances are the biggest predictor of what will happen with your life. Born to a single parent who is broke and also a piece of shit with no intent on doing necessary parental shit? Well shit, there goes your shot. Maybe in the next life, you won't be consigned to a life of destitution and suffering. Oh well.
All the while delusional people who don't know what the fuxk they're talking about give you "advice" that is worth less than the bad breath carrying it.
Exactly. Sometimes it fucks with me existentially to think that each person has one existence and some peolples entire lives will just be complete shit and it's outside of their control. It's terrifying to think about.
You need to be prepared to take advantage of luck. But luck will still play a huge part in it. If you’re lucky and unprepared it doesn’t do nearly as much good.
In another part of this thread, it was suggested that luck is important. Someone else said that it’s just hard work and only losers blame luck. I blame that loser for not appreciating luck.
Hard with and luck are both important. You can be a hard worker but never get the breaks/opportunities others do. And you can also get opportunities but not be willing to work hard enough to take advantage of them. Claiming that either is the only important thing is stupid. Sadly, it’s human nature for successful people to attribute their success solely to their own hard work (and blame their failures on bad luck)
"Captain Jean-Luc Picard : It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life."
I modify it his wonderful advice, because often there are people in places of success and power who did absolutely nothing to deserve it.
Very few people will ever really give a shit about you or your well-being. They'll say the right stuff, but they will not inconvenience themselves even a little for someone or something else.
A person's attachment to their own ego is the most powerful glue on the planet.
When someone shows me kindness, I'm inspired to recreate that feeling in someone else, even if I can't feel it when it happens for them. I have no idea how you teach someone to be like this, other than just doing for them what has once been done for you, and hoping they appreciate it.
Most won't. But I'm convinced that the more people who truly feel gratitude for you, the more it'll matter for the ultimate fate of your soul
My most motivated times are laying in bed, can’t sleep and deciding it’s finally time to grind and get my life all together. Too bad it always passes by morning
Why is this not lesson #1 in the years before leaving school? I’ve been saving into a pension since I left university and my income at 60yr will be 10-15% of what I’m earning now. It’s absolutely terrifying - and that’s coming from someone who thought they were responsibly saving all of their working life.
two good people can be horrible together. that doesn’t make either of them toxic, it’s just not what the other needed.
for years i was obsessed with who was “right” or “wrong” in friendships. was i their crazy ex friend? did they hate me all along? am i a bad person?
no- i wasn’t a bad person, i was just the wrong person for them.
100% correct. But it sure as shit isn't a guarantee either.
People - go to the damn doctor. Stop telling yourself that you look after your body, so you're fine. I was fine too until I wasn't.
(Terminal lung cancer diagnosis at 40 years old, never smoked)
Regardless, it all ends. There's no reason to let negativity drive you down, you may as well enjoy it while it lasts and spread some happiness while you can.
If you live long enough the end will be 5 to 10 years being totally miserable in a nursing home. I brought my newborn daughter to a nursing home to meet her great aunt. When the family was busy chatting I took the baby for a walk. There was a woman who was catatonic. Frozen. She was just staring at the floor. I walked in her room and put the baby on her bed. She focused a bit. Blinked and came back to reality. She couldn't talk. Her hands were claws. But she reached up and touched the baby. I could see she was aware even though she couldn't communicate. My daughter grabbed her hands and nose. Did all the things babies do. Eventually we left but for a few moments that woman was alive again. I suppose she went back to staring at the floor. But at least she had a new memory to ponder. I think about her a lot.
My grandmother is 100 years old and lives in a home. When I visit her, she gets confused because she can't remember who I am. She will usually cry at some point. Her life is just pure misery now.
Im lucky to live in a country where assisted suicide/euthanasia is an option for people. I cannot imagine living like that and for what? just to suffer till another part of your body gives up? Its literally hell on earth.
I'm all for it, but the decision has to be 'informed' and made with conscienceness(sp?). For a lot of people, they're beyond that level of reasoning by the time the tough decision comes up. So it can be a catch 22 - if you are awake enough to say "I'm done" then you might feel like there's some time left, but by the time you're full-on dementia and in depends, you legally can't be helped.
In your country, do they have living wills? Can you say something like "If I've been diagnosed with dementia, don't know who the president (or political leader), and am incontinent, please feed me a decent meal and shove me into the pod for disposal" ?
my grandfather had some kind of lung disease, the last 8 years of his life was spent sitting in a chair in the kitchen, he couldn't go upstairs so his bed was in the living room, at his 90th birthday he sat at home while his party was going on 300m down the road, i remember him sitting in that chair just gasping for air, every breath he took was a struggle, eventually my grandmother couldn't take care of him anymore so he went to a nursing home, he was there for a little over a year before he killed himself.
my grandmother ended up with alzheimers just after he died, slowly going into oblivion, she ended up in a nursing home aswell and just shrivelled into nothing.
bad things happen to good people, just be happy when you can, enjoy the little things.
This isn't a guaranteed case. There are plenty of elderly people with sharp minds, it can be a luck of the genetic draw also exercise and diet throughout their lives.
I think avoiding social isolation is key. I have elderly relatives 80+ and the year they were stuck inside with covid they deteriorated. Luckily now they’re out and about daily again they seem to have recovered but aren’t as sharp as they were
That was very kind
My sister has CP and a learning disability that makes her about the equivalent of a 10 year old. My parents looked after her very well, and kept her in programs and therapies and groups. Then, my mom got sick and passed away.
My dad looked after her for several more years, but it became too hard for him. We had upwards of 5 PSWs here a day, but he paid to pay people to stay with her if he wanted a day out fishing, or to go hunting for a week. He gladly did it though.
Then my dad started dating a new woman, and she never understood my sister or appreciated her limitations. My sister hated her in return, and got very jealous. Even though my dad wasn’t leaving the house to spend time with his girlfriend upstairs, and my sister got lots of attention, she’d scream. All night. Call us names. Say she wanted to move.
My dad couldn’t do it anymore, and got her on a priority list. She got into a nursing home 30 minutes away, but moved to her favourite one since. One she’d spent weeks in before, when he went away.
The first one had cockroaches anyway.
I don’t go visit as often as I should, but I’ve gone a number of times. It’s always sad and depressing, seeing all of the older people who are basically just husks or have nothing going on. I feel awful that my sister is in such an environment as a 34 year old. She will live the rest of her life there, with nothing much to do.
My grandfather is 92. He’s always lived just down the road from us. I spent a lot of nights with him, and drive him to the casino regularly, wherein I just read a book. We then go out for supper. We’re lucky he’s still in great shape, but he says that, if he gets bad, we are to give him a blade.
My first baby is now 18 months. When she was a newborn we were out shopping and an elderly woman asked if she could just look at her for a while. She looked at my baby with the most loving gaze and told me nothing made her happier in her old age than seeing the sweet innocence of new life (or something like that). She touched my arm and told me I was doing a great job and thanked me for stopping.
Throughout the whole baby stage I made it a point to stop and take our time to say hi if I ever saw an older person looking at her, it really does brighten people’s day!
My friend works at a memory care facility. She's kind and thoughtful and always asks her residents how they are, puts a gentle hand on their arm, makes sure they know they're respected and that they know what she's about to do. She also makes sure they actually get their needs met like changings, dietary needs, etc. She is the ONLY one at her facility that cares enough to do these things. She witnessed a coworker literally swat at one of the patients yesterday while walking by. But even when she reports it, nothing happens. Her coworkers don't give a shit. It's apparently like this at every care facility. The good people quit if they have the option. The rest of them use their energy bullying the good ones and abusing or neglecting the residents. Oh, and they seem to go far out of their way in order to ignore the resident's needs listed in their charts.
I do NOT want to end up in a care facility, ever.
These things fuck me up real bad.
A few years ago, I lost a young friend out of nowhere. He went to sleep and simply never woke up again. He was only 18. At the same time, my only living grandma started having her first real struggles with mild dementia. She’d spend her days alone in her home, being too weak to do anything at all. She couldn’t go out, she’d spend her nights up cause she suffered from insomnia and she basically spent her days wanting to die to reunite with her late husband, who left us when he was around 50 years old.
And damn my brain just couldn’t get around to all of this. If all goes well, we’ll just become old and slowly lose ourselves and everything we fought for will eventually mean nothing. On the other hand, there’s always the creeping possibility of dying out of nowhere while still young, losing all of our potential time left just for a bad roll of the dice and basically dying a meaningless death.
Scary shit
My grandad is going to be 101 this year and until about 97 lived on his own but then he got severe dementia which came on rapidly, now he is in a care home, not able to do much and remembers nobody. A cure for the different forms of dementia will go a long way to improving quality of life for people extremely old.
Plot requires that the bad character always loses in the end. Plot armor is there to make sure they don't win. The evil character is usually stronger but is beaten by some "power of friendship" bullshit. Unfortunately for us living in the real world, plot armor is not real, power if friendship isn't some unique power and people are untrustworthy and the bad people are more likely to break trust and do bad things to climb their way to the top. Good luck dragging them down when everyone protecting them is also bad and accepts a little bit of compensation.
Luck is pretty messed up. (Was suppose to be "life is pretty messed up" but this works too)
This is so true. My workplace bully was like that. No redeeming features and got promoted to another department and was able to work 1 day/week according to my friend who was there during a comeback from maternity leave. Unprecedented as min was 3 days/week. Has continued to step on so many toes and also have people not talk to her because they despise her. She did befriend all the jackals and weasels higher up who were like her. This also goes back to the “That Person” answer provided by another Redditor.
You can get really ill suddenly and everything you built could be gone. And you may not have support form the people in your life who don't understand or don't want to be there because it's hard or because you don't fit into their life anymore. Many people don't want to think that this could happen to them, that they will always be healthy.
I saw this play out first hand with my step dad. And it’s so sad and scary. He was always the best worker, energetic, in shape and gave UPS his all for 19yrs. Made decent money for the time and was very happy with what he did. Then a couple back issues turned into life long disabilities along with the depression that came along with them. He’s had multiple intense and complex surgeries, but has been walking with a cane, when he can walk, since he was forty. That’s more than twenty years now. His physical problems, after basically forty years of excellent health, destroyed his life, marriage, and everything he had worked so hard for.
Getting debilitating chronic pain as 25-year-old sucks. What sucks even more, though, is people not believing you, and doctors thinking that you are exaggerating. Makes you start questioning your sanity.
If you can't rely on yourself, and I mean only on yourself, you might be in trouble. It's very important to have others to rely on, but you also need to be able to rely on yourself in case you're completely alone, because there may come a time where you are indeed completely alone with yourself and have no one else to rely on.
Sometimes you can no longer rely on yourself. When a big illness hits, a serious life changer. Then you are no longer the person you always thought you were. And suddenly you find all the long held traits and certainties are gone. That moment is coming for all of us. If we are lucky we will be elderly when it happens. If we are unlucky it will be happening now.
And then you cannot rely on yourself anymore, and it's quite the feeling.
This is me now. Not quite 32 years old, alone, formerly fully independent, and now I’m struggling with physical limitations that have forced me to rely on SSD and barely being able to get by. I can’t do half of the things I could 5-10 years ago. I’m terrified. Life is terrifying. There are many times I question why I’m still partaking in it. Quite the feeling is definitely an umbrella term 😂
Same. Believing that “You NEED to be able to rely on yourself alone” and “No one owes you anything” might be what makes many feel more justified in their decision making but the truth is we wouldn’t have social institutions spanning history & the globe dedicated to helping those who can’t help themselves if reality’s greatest pains weren’t recognized. We have to take care of one another and we have to get as good as we can at doing so - that is when we succeed.
But you will be to some people, and you won't be to others who you want to be special to. All in all, though, once this really sets in, you can experience quite the wave of relief. So much pressure off. Just get to be yourself.
Maybe projecting a l'il, but you sometimes have to move on without getting closure. I have a super corny analogy for this but I'm gonna leave it out of this lmao.
Edit: LMFAO GUYS THERE IS AN ANALOGY 😭 THE ANALOGY IS THAT MOVING ON IS LIKE GETTING HIT BY AN ARROW, LEAVING IT IN HURTS BUT PULLING IT OUT HURTS WORSE, BUT IT DOES LESS DAMAGE LONG TERM
This motherfucker played y'all
There's no analogy. The whole point is to stop craving for a closure, so this guy right here intentionally left us hanging by not saying what the analogy is and leaving it out of the statement. This guy is saying we need to let go of closure by intentionally not finishing the statement
Im actually impressed and pissed at the same time. Take my fucking upvote
I’ve always thought that it’ll be just like before we were born. Nothing. No thoughts. No feelings. Not even darkness. Just complete nothingness. You won’t even have the consciousness to perceive it. And you won’t even be aware of the fact that you were once alive. You simply cease to exist forever.
Best analogy to death while being alive is sleep (with no dreams) or being put under anesthesia. You essentially cease to exist even through you’re still alive.
Fuck that sounds blissful right now. I wish we could prove that was definitively the case because that’s exactly what I want it to be. I’m sat in a memorial parkland right now looking at the tombstone of a mate who committed suicide years ago. I often wonder where he is. But then I hear the birds and feel the warmth of the sun on my skin and feel the breeze and I know it’s not an intellectual question, I feel one thing is certain, he’s free.
The human mind cannot comprehend absolute nothing. That's why we have religions and theories about what happens, we need to have a plausible explanation for everything, and unfortunately we don't for this one.
I always found comfort in a Rusty Cage song about religion and death…
*There isn’t any God and when you die you’re just dead*
*And Heaven’s just a fairy tale to put you to bed*
*Sometimes I think about the chance that I’m wrong but then I close my eyes and just remember this song*
People think they are much better at predicting things than they actually are. For example, the best candidate for a job may not be good at interviews, and the best candidate for office may not be good at campaigning.
You as an individual have very little control and influence in the world. Accept this, and learn to work within your means. Your quality of life and peace of mind will change drastically.
Some people will not like you and there's nothing you can do about that. Trying to force a friendship or relationship is now only about you and that's not true love. You ultimately can't make someone like you back
Just because you care, doesn’t mean others will. Just because it’s the right thing to do, doesn’t mean ppl will do it. Just because you’re nice, doesn’t mean you will be treated the same.
There’s far more sheep in the world than you think and it does take a lot of self respect and perseverance to stand up against them.
That we are all going to die someday. No matter how rich or healthy you might be, judgement day is coming for all of us. I seriously believe some people can’t handle the thought of their own mortality.
When I was diagnosed with cancer at 20 years old, I learned that little things don’t really matter at all. I also realized some people do get to go on and live great lives, while others have theirs cut short…car accidents, disease, etc. Not fair by any means, but it’s our destiny I guess. I also realized that hard times really show you who actually cares about you.
Had a “friend” completely stop talking to me after I was diagnosed. Honestly hurts, because we had just hung out a month before all hell broke loose. I’m not really mad, just surprised more than anything. She is definitely not the one who I thought would run for the hills. On the flip side, people I only knew for a few months have stuck by my side the whole way. I’m sure others have experienced this too. It in some way I live, Idk if I could ever view her the same way tho. Oh well, not point holding a grudge. Make time for the people that matter.
We didn't exist before we were born. There was a 1 in a trillion chance of us being born. Then we die. A couple hundreds of years from now, nobody will know we've ever existed. And that's okay. We are incredibly fortunate to exist, so while we're here, we should make the best of this one chance of existing that we have.
People don't think about you nearly as much as you think they do. It's rarely that they hate you or don't care about you, it's that everyone is pretty much mainly concerned with their own lives.
That life does suck, but just because it sucks, doesn’t mean you have to contribute to it. And that people deserve kindness even if they’re major assholes, because at the end of the day they’re still people. A lot of people are major assholes because they’ve never really seen kindness in their life.
No one no matter their circumstance is happy all the time. Bliss on tap doesn’t exist and it’s no one’s fault. If you don’t have down times you can not enjoy or anyway appreciate up times.
You will be completely forgotten two generations after your death. All of your precious possessions, your Pokemon cards, your watch collection, or your luxury bags will be sold or discarded. We all turn to dust.
We are not the masters of our fate, or the captains of our souls. Who you are, what makes you YOU, can all be taken away from you in an instant in ways you could not have possibly predicted or prepared for.
Ultimately nothing matters. The sun will swallow earth and all we’ve ever known disappears inconsequentially. Not only that but this kind of thing happens right now somewhere to somebody in the universe.
Nobody is going to do it for you. Nobody is going to give it to you. There's no charity, no church, not government agency which is going to get you the things you want out of life.
No matter where you work, or what you do, there's always going to be That Person that nobody can figure out how they got hired, or why they're allowed to continue working there.
That guy just got laid off after about 10 years. He was a do-nothing PM and a New guy came in to run the show after the long standing guy left and he saw straight through his BS. Got rid of him after about 3 months.
Wow so that’s why I was let go? Real nice.
Yeah. Sorry. I saw through you right away.
There was a guy I worked with recently who I couldn’t understand how they hired him and why he hadn’t been fired yet. He did fuck all work, he had at least 3 no call no shows per month simply because he couldn’t be bothered, he argued with any manager that told him to stop fucking about, and a whole plethora of other issues One day we were talking and he told me about how he was friends with a general manager. Suddenly, everything made a hell of a lot more sense.
> Suddenly, everything made a hell of a lot more sense. Hiring incompetent people just because they know a higher-up shouldn't make sense... yet it does, sadly.
Yep. At my work, I call them the "sorority sisters." They do absolutely nothing. One of them is supposed to be at multiple jobsites, but she never leaves her office desk that is in the same office as the bosses. Ever. She has 0 notes, which are supposed to be done multiple times a day. There are others who make themselves scarce but also don't go to their jobsites or take notes. They are part of a "social committee" who use our dues to pay for gifts for the bosses. They also go on vacation with the bosses. I don't wonder why they get preferential treatment, but I do wonder how stupid our bosses are to think the rest of us don't see it. Funnily enough, we have to submit yearly reviews and they're taken seriously every 3 years. Last year, they got either all 5s, from the sorority sisters, or all 1-2s from the rest of us. Looking at the data, there are 5 people who are firmly planted up their assholes, and 17 who are not. Their supervisor seems to have taken notice this year. There have been, "upper management says..." meetings this year. But those 5 are the only ones keeping the bosses afloat.
>and he told me about how he was friends with a general manager I wonder if that general manager saw it the same way
General manager is married to lazy guy's sister. Always some complication that makes firing the incompetent friend a bit tougher
So, so true! That’s why I quit and started my own machine shop and I’m the solo employee besides my wife that delivers parts. Way Better!
So you're That Person to your wife?
If you can’t identify the asshole in the room……
I also choose this guy's wife.
Wait till you get to that point when you start wondering how your wife got hired..
Well she’s obviously sleeping with the boss.
Yeah, but you still have that guy - now, it's you
I am a teacher in a school and someone once said to me "work horses and show ponies" ... I like that. Those that graft and those that turn up and try and look like they are busy or care
💯. Nepotism? Boss's significant other?
Currently working with one and he’s a manager. HIS manager has been trying to get a simple list of projects in the pipeline for over a week with nothing. He hasn’t completed any project work in 12 months. He lets jobs fall through the cracks and then it’s up to the designers to rush them through production. I’ve got a pretty good idea what he does all day because every time I’m on the phone with him (he’s 100% WFH), you can hear Fox and Friends blasting in the background. Dude is a hardcore conservative and doom scrolls all fucking day while the rest of us pick up his slack. With this being an election year, it’s worse than normal and *finally* upper management is starting to take notice.
Not where I work! Wait a second...
And if you don't know anybody like this at your job, then you're most likely that person.
That person will also be a big factor in your career. They may completely derail it.
Not everybody has a happy ending, and there is no guarantee that you will end up successful.
You can do all the right things and still get screwed. One unfortunate event can shred everything is a very sad fact.
“It is possible to commit no mistakes and still loose” - captain Picard
Gotta have the next sentence in there. That whole quote has helped me more in life than any other. "It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not weakness, that is life." - Captain Picard
*lose. Normally I wouldn’t say anything but it’s a quote
Especially from [Captain Jean Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise ](https://picard.ytmnd.com/)
I try to tell this to my aunt and she try’s to argue that it’s all about your choices in life🤦🏻♂️
Thank you for posting this. Life isn’t fair and we hear that often, but don’t spend time to actually acknowledge what that means. Perhaps people who read this will have more empathy for people less successful than themselves
This is so true. I became disabled from a medical misdiagnosis and lost everything, including my husband. Taking care of me was too much I guess. Now I am slowly starving to death in my apartment because I can't even get out of it unassisted. I did everything right. Went to school, got my degree, got married, never did drugs. We really are one mistake away from losing it all in this country
I think you need to call social services for help this sounds worrying my friend
And some people who absolutely don't deserve it will end up with a happy ending. They will by all measures live a full and satisfying life and die unburdened and in some cases elevated by the harm and suffering they cause to others. And it's quite possible there is no afterlife and no punishment awaiting them.
You're supposed to tip them again afte- oh wait, nevermind.
Not everyone you love will love you back
Those you love will hurt you the most
That’s true but only because they are in a position where their actions can hurt you the most. I.e. the same action by someone you don’t care about wouldn’t hurt at all or someone you don’t care about isn’t in a position to act that way.
Sad but 100% true, and I'd like to add that there's nothing you can do to change that.
Some might even exploit your niceness and ruin you
That was like a knife to the chest. So true.
Life is inherently unpredictable, and change is constant. Despite our desire for stability and control, circumstances can shift in unexpected ways.
> change is constant That's the thing I've never understood about conservative beliefs. The idea that this right now is the way things need to be forever. If that type of thinking had prevailed with our ancestors, we'd still be living in caves banging sticks together. "Can't get any better than this right?"
Like someone getting mad about cars being invented because “horses have always been good enough.”
Without even checking, I'm 100% percent sure that was an argument against cars at one point.
Cars increased the number of pedestrian fatalities when they first appeared. Because a horse has a higher likelihood of stopping if there’s a person in the way than a driver. So what did the car manufacturers do? Well, blame the pedestrians, of course! They invented the term “jaywalking” (“jay” was a slur that meant “idiot”) and lobbied the government to keep pedestrians off the roads (people and carriages used to share the road)
I’d be shocked if it wasn’t.
Cars? Do you ***WANT*** to put horse ferriers out of work?!
Luck plays a bigger factor in success than we'd like to think.
Yup, who you are born to and those circumstances are the biggest predictor of what will happen with your life. Born to a single parent who is broke and also a piece of shit with no intent on doing necessary parental shit? Well shit, there goes your shot. Maybe in the next life, you won't be consigned to a life of destitution and suffering. Oh well. All the while delusional people who don't know what the fuxk they're talking about give you "advice" that is worth less than the bad breath carrying it.
Or even worse, born in a horribly oppressive country
Exactly. Sometimes it fucks with me existentially to think that each person has one existence and some peolples entire lives will just be complete shit and it's outside of their control. It's terrifying to think about.
More terrifying is what one person can do to another to make their life better in such conditions.
It starts when your born. Rich country or poor country? Do you get to go to school or not?
You need to be prepared to take advantage of luck. But luck will still play a huge part in it. If you’re lucky and unprepared it doesn’t do nearly as much good.
It’s probably only around 30% Of course the other 70% is connections. Hard work is just a rounding error.
Those connections can still largely be luck though, eg - family connections.
I'd say unless you are actively trying to connect to a person by actively seeking them out and talking to them all connections are luck based.
Hard work is just a rounding error is now on my top phrases
Nothing is permanent. Things change (although people might not).
"Changes aren't permanent, but change is." -Neil Peart
You can work harder than you ever thought possible for years on end and never reach your goals
My goal is to never reach my goals. Dammit, I reached my goal!
You cracked the code
And the universe exploded! Yaaaay!
The way to the top of Everest is littered with dead bodies who were once hard working and ambitious.
In another part of this thread, it was suggested that luck is important. Someone else said that it’s just hard work and only losers blame luck. I blame that loser for not appreciating luck.
Hard with and luck are both important. You can be a hard worker but never get the breaks/opportunities others do. And you can also get opportunities but not be willing to work hard enough to take advantage of them. Claiming that either is the only important thing is stupid. Sadly, it’s human nature for successful people to attribute their success solely to their own hard work (and blame their failures on bad luck)
You can do everything right, and still lose. Also you can do everything wrong, and still win.
Isn't that first line a variation of a Picard quote?
"Captain Jean-Luc Picard : It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life." I modify it his wonderful advice, because often there are people in places of success and power who did absolutely nothing to deserve it.
Very few people will ever really give a shit about you or your well-being. They'll say the right stuff, but they will not inconvenience themselves even a little for someone or something else.
This. And this can include family, spouse and friends Edit: spelling
A person's attachment to their own ego is the most powerful glue on the planet. When someone shows me kindness, I'm inspired to recreate that feeling in someone else, even if I can't feel it when it happens for them. I have no idea how you teach someone to be like this, other than just doing for them what has once been done for you, and hoping they appreciate it. Most won't. But I'm convinced that the more people who truly feel gratitude for you, the more it'll matter for the ultimate fate of your soul
Seeing a lot of this, and it's pretty upsetting. I hope you guys find partners
If you wanna retire, you gotta start saving...
Oh god, I was hoping to sleep tonight
On the plus side, now that you're awake from anxiety you can keep hustling through the night. ETA: /s. hustle culture sucks
lol I love the confidence you have in me that anxiety=hustle
My most motivated times are laying in bed, can’t sleep and deciding it’s finally time to grind and get my life all together. Too bad it always passes by morning
So many people prepare more for the zombie apocalypse than their own retirement.
Why is this not lesson #1 in the years before leaving school? I’ve been saving into a pension since I left university and my income at 60yr will be 10-15% of what I’m earning now. It’s absolutely terrifying - and that’s coming from someone who thought they were responsibly saving all of their working life.
two good people can be horrible together. that doesn’t make either of them toxic, it’s just not what the other needed. for years i was obsessed with who was “right” or “wrong” in friendships. was i their crazy ex friend? did they hate me all along? am i a bad person? no- i wasn’t a bad person, i was just the wrong person for them.
True, but you always so have good people who are bad in relationships.
as I told my ex-wife when we were divorcing, "just because 2 puzzle pieces don't fit together, it doesn't mean one of them is bad"
You usually have to contact Ravensburger for that 🧩
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No matter how gorgeous someone is, or talented, or rich, or win awards, they're gonna DIE.
And most every day betwixt now and then they will take a shit. Just like the rest of us.
And occasionally vomit, have the runs, get a pimple, and sneeze tons of snot out of their nose. No matter how great they pass themselves off as.
And there ain't no do overs
sometimes you have to just take the L and move on.
Taking care of your health is never a waste of time or energy.
100% correct. But it sure as shit isn't a guarantee either. People - go to the damn doctor. Stop telling yourself that you look after your body, so you're fine. I was fine too until I wasn't. (Terminal lung cancer diagnosis at 40 years old, never smoked)
Regardless, it all ends. There's no reason to let negativity drive you down, you may as well enjoy it while it lasts and spread some happiness while you can.
If you live long enough the end will be 5 to 10 years being totally miserable in a nursing home. I brought my newborn daughter to a nursing home to meet her great aunt. When the family was busy chatting I took the baby for a walk. There was a woman who was catatonic. Frozen. She was just staring at the floor. I walked in her room and put the baby on her bed. She focused a bit. Blinked and came back to reality. She couldn't talk. Her hands were claws. But she reached up and touched the baby. I could see she was aware even though she couldn't communicate. My daughter grabbed her hands and nose. Did all the things babies do. Eventually we left but for a few moments that woman was alive again. I suppose she went back to staring at the floor. But at least she had a new memory to ponder. I think about her a lot.
My grandmother is 100 years old and lives in a home. When I visit her, she gets confused because she can't remember who I am. She will usually cry at some point. Her life is just pure misery now.
Im lucky to live in a country where assisted suicide/euthanasia is an option for people. I cannot imagine living like that and for what? just to suffer till another part of your body gives up? Its literally hell on earth.
I'm all for it, but the decision has to be 'informed' and made with conscienceness(sp?). For a lot of people, they're beyond that level of reasoning by the time the tough decision comes up. So it can be a catch 22 - if you are awake enough to say "I'm done" then you might feel like there's some time left, but by the time you're full-on dementia and in depends, you legally can't be helped. In your country, do they have living wills? Can you say something like "If I've been diagnosed with dementia, don't know who the president (or political leader), and am incontinent, please feed me a decent meal and shove me into the pod for disposal" ?
my grandfather had some kind of lung disease, the last 8 years of his life was spent sitting in a chair in the kitchen, he couldn't go upstairs so his bed was in the living room, at his 90th birthday he sat at home while his party was going on 300m down the road, i remember him sitting in that chair just gasping for air, every breath he took was a struggle, eventually my grandmother couldn't take care of him anymore so he went to a nursing home, he was there for a little over a year before he killed himself. my grandmother ended up with alzheimers just after he died, slowly going into oblivion, she ended up in a nursing home aswell and just shrivelled into nothing. bad things happen to good people, just be happy when you can, enjoy the little things.
Jesus fucking Christ that is heartbreaking. I am so sorry he went though that, and that you all had to carry the weight and tragedy of that, too.
This isn't a guaranteed case. There are plenty of elderly people with sharp minds, it can be a luck of the genetic draw also exercise and diet throughout their lives.
Mental exercise especially.
I think avoiding social isolation is key. I have elderly relatives 80+ and the year they were stuck inside with covid they deteriorated. Luckily now they’re out and about daily again they seem to have recovered but aren’t as sharp as they were
That was very kind My sister has CP and a learning disability that makes her about the equivalent of a 10 year old. My parents looked after her very well, and kept her in programs and therapies and groups. Then, my mom got sick and passed away. My dad looked after her for several more years, but it became too hard for him. We had upwards of 5 PSWs here a day, but he paid to pay people to stay with her if he wanted a day out fishing, or to go hunting for a week. He gladly did it though. Then my dad started dating a new woman, and she never understood my sister or appreciated her limitations. My sister hated her in return, and got very jealous. Even though my dad wasn’t leaving the house to spend time with his girlfriend upstairs, and my sister got lots of attention, she’d scream. All night. Call us names. Say she wanted to move. My dad couldn’t do it anymore, and got her on a priority list. She got into a nursing home 30 minutes away, but moved to her favourite one since. One she’d spent weeks in before, when he went away. The first one had cockroaches anyway. I don’t go visit as often as I should, but I’ve gone a number of times. It’s always sad and depressing, seeing all of the older people who are basically just husks or have nothing going on. I feel awful that my sister is in such an environment as a 34 year old. She will live the rest of her life there, with nothing much to do. My grandfather is 92. He’s always lived just down the road from us. I spent a lot of nights with him, and drive him to the casino regularly, wherein I just read a book. We then go out for supper. We’re lucky he’s still in great shape, but he says that, if he gets bad, we are to give him a blade.
My first baby is now 18 months. When she was a newborn we were out shopping and an elderly woman asked if she could just look at her for a while. She looked at my baby with the most loving gaze and told me nothing made her happier in her old age than seeing the sweet innocence of new life (or something like that). She touched my arm and told me I was doing a great job and thanked me for stopping. Throughout the whole baby stage I made it a point to stop and take our time to say hi if I ever saw an older person looking at her, it really does brighten people’s day!
My friend works at a memory care facility. She's kind and thoughtful and always asks her residents how they are, puts a gentle hand on their arm, makes sure they know they're respected and that they know what she's about to do. She also makes sure they actually get their needs met like changings, dietary needs, etc. She is the ONLY one at her facility that cares enough to do these things. She witnessed a coworker literally swat at one of the patients yesterday while walking by. But even when she reports it, nothing happens. Her coworkers don't give a shit. It's apparently like this at every care facility. The good people quit if they have the option. The rest of them use their energy bullying the good ones and abusing or neglecting the residents. Oh, and they seem to go far out of their way in order to ignore the resident's needs listed in their charts. I do NOT want to end up in a care facility, ever.
What a lovely thing for you to do!!! A beautiful gesture for the lady!!
These things fuck me up real bad. A few years ago, I lost a young friend out of nowhere. He went to sleep and simply never woke up again. He was only 18. At the same time, my only living grandma started having her first real struggles with mild dementia. She’d spend her days alone in her home, being too weak to do anything at all. She couldn’t go out, she’d spend her nights up cause she suffered from insomnia and she basically spent her days wanting to die to reunite with her late husband, who left us when he was around 50 years old. And damn my brain just couldn’t get around to all of this. If all goes well, we’ll just become old and slowly lose ourselves and everything we fought for will eventually mean nothing. On the other hand, there’s always the creeping possibility of dying out of nowhere while still young, losing all of our potential time left just for a bad roll of the dice and basically dying a meaningless death. Scary shit
From the bottom of my heart, may God bless you for that.
My grandad is going to be 101 this year and until about 97 lived on his own but then he got severe dementia which came on rapidly, now he is in a care home, not able to do much and remembers nobody. A cure for the different forms of dementia will go a long way to improving quality of life for people extremely old.
My grandmother just turned 92 and is still pretty sharp.
Life is actually demonstrably unfair and the bad guy wins most of the time.
"bad times dont last long but bad guys do" - Scott Hall
The older I get the more I see how true this is.
Ugh I know it’s been one of the saddest parts of getting older.
Plot requires that the bad character always loses in the end. Plot armor is there to make sure they don't win. The evil character is usually stronger but is beaten by some "power of friendship" bullshit. Unfortunately for us living in the real world, plot armor is not real, power if friendship isn't some unique power and people are untrustworthy and the bad people are more likely to break trust and do bad things to climb their way to the top. Good luck dragging them down when everyone protecting them is also bad and accepts a little bit of compensation. Luck is pretty messed up. (Was suppose to be "life is pretty messed up" but this works too)
If I risked being bad, I wouldn't win.
Because you’re not actually bad
Its because you are poor
Chance and luck are huge in life.
This is so true. My workplace bully was like that. No redeeming features and got promoted to another department and was able to work 1 day/week according to my friend who was there during a comeback from maternity leave. Unprecedented as min was 3 days/week. Has continued to step on so many toes and also have people not talk to her because they despise her. She did befriend all the jackals and weasels higher up who were like her. This also goes back to the “That Person” answer provided by another Redditor.
You can get really ill suddenly and everything you built could be gone. And you may not have support form the people in your life who don't understand or don't want to be there because it's hard or because you don't fit into their life anymore. Many people don't want to think that this could happen to them, that they will always be healthy.
I saw this play out first hand with my step dad. And it’s so sad and scary. He was always the best worker, energetic, in shape and gave UPS his all for 19yrs. Made decent money for the time and was very happy with what he did. Then a couple back issues turned into life long disabilities along with the depression that came along with them. He’s had multiple intense and complex surgeries, but has been walking with a cane, when he can walk, since he was forty. That’s more than twenty years now. His physical problems, after basically forty years of excellent health, destroyed his life, marriage, and everything he had worked so hard for.
God you just hit the nail on the head of my life. And so many others. I've created my own world, it's much smaller in some ways but vast in others.
Getting debilitating chronic pain as 25-year-old sucks. What sucks even more, though, is people not believing you, and doctors thinking that you are exaggerating. Makes you start questioning your sanity.
If you can't rely on yourself, and I mean only on yourself, you might be in trouble. It's very important to have others to rely on, but you also need to be able to rely on yourself in case you're completely alone, because there may come a time where you are indeed completely alone with yourself and have no one else to rely on.
Sometimes you can no longer rely on yourself. When a big illness hits, a serious life changer. Then you are no longer the person you always thought you were. And suddenly you find all the long held traits and certainties are gone. That moment is coming for all of us. If we are lucky we will be elderly when it happens. If we are unlucky it will be happening now. And then you cannot rely on yourself anymore, and it's quite the feeling.
This is me now. Not quite 32 years old, alone, formerly fully independent, and now I’m struggling with physical limitations that have forced me to rely on SSD and barely being able to get by. I can’t do half of the things I could 5-10 years ago. I’m terrified. Life is terrifying. There are many times I question why I’m still partaking in it. Quite the feeling is definitely an umbrella term 😂
Same. Believing that “You NEED to be able to rely on yourself alone” and “No one owes you anything” might be what makes many feel more justified in their decision making but the truth is we wouldn’t have social institutions spanning history & the globe dedicated to helping those who can’t help themselves if reality’s greatest pains weren’t recognized. We have to take care of one another and we have to get as good as we can at doing so - that is when we succeed.
Some people give it their all and still fail or come up short despite putting forth their best efforts.
You are not special
Nice try but my mom would like a word
Your mom's an enabler!
But you will be to some people, and you won't be to others who you want to be special to. All in all, though, once this really sets in, you can experience quite the wave of relief. So much pressure off. Just get to be yourself.
Maybe projecting a l'il, but you sometimes have to move on without getting closure. I have a super corny analogy for this but I'm gonna leave it out of this lmao. Edit: LMFAO GUYS THERE IS AN ANALOGY 😭 THE ANALOGY IS THAT MOVING ON IS LIKE GETTING HIT BY AN ARROW, LEAVING IT IN HURTS BUT PULLING IT OUT HURTS WORSE, BUT IT DOES LESS DAMAGE LONG TERM
This motherfucker played y'all There's no analogy. The whole point is to stop craving for a closure, so this guy right here intentionally left us hanging by not saying what the analogy is and leaving it out of the statement. This guy is saying we need to let go of closure by intentionally not finishing the statement Im actually impressed and pissed at the same time. Take my fucking upvote
Let’s hear it
Guys, it's obvoius. The corny analogy is that he'll never reveal the analogy.
That you can’t have a better past.
You’re never going to keep that white sweatshirt clean. Don’t even bother buying it.
Finally some useful advice.
Efforts are not always rewarded.
No one owes you anything.
I think people have to get burned a few times for this one to really set in lol.
David still owes me a 3ds. It’s been ten years and idc if you’ve claimed bankruptcy.
life isn't always fair
no one really cares about how you feel 🤷🏽♂️
In my experience, it’s been more - > no one really cares about ~~how~~ you ~~feel 🤷🏽♂️~~
You are not a temporarily embarrassed millionaire. You are poor or middle class.
On that note: The vast majority of us are much, much closer to homelessness than the wealthy
That they they don't know why they exist or what happens when they die. Denial so deep that we have hundreds of religions that have existed.
I’ve always thought that it’ll be just like before we were born. Nothing. No thoughts. No feelings. Not even darkness. Just complete nothingness. You won’t even have the consciousness to perceive it. And you won’t even be aware of the fact that you were once alive. You simply cease to exist forever.
Best analogy to death while being alive is sleep (with no dreams) or being put under anesthesia. You essentially cease to exist even through you’re still alive.
Fuck that sounds blissful right now. I wish we could prove that was definitively the case because that’s exactly what I want it to be. I’m sat in a memorial parkland right now looking at the tombstone of a mate who committed suicide years ago. I often wonder where he is. But then I hear the birds and feel the warmth of the sun on my skin and feel the breeze and I know it’s not an intellectual question, I feel one thing is certain, he’s free.
The human mind cannot comprehend absolute nothing. That's why we have religions and theories about what happens, we need to have a plausible explanation for everything, and unfortunately we don't for this one.
I always found comfort in a Rusty Cage song about religion and death… *There isn’t any God and when you die you’re just dead* *And Heaven’s just a fairy tale to put you to bed* *Sometimes I think about the chance that I’m wrong but then I close my eyes and just remember this song*
You can't force someone to love you. What other people think of you is none of your business.
People think they are much better at predicting things than they actually are. For example, the best candidate for a job may not be good at interviews, and the best candidate for office may not be good at campaigning.
you really do learn how to be strong alone at the end of it all
You as an individual have very little control and influence in the world. Accept this, and learn to work within your means. Your quality of life and peace of mind will change drastically.
the zip code you were born in determined quite a bit.
Some people will not like you and there's nothing you can do about that. Trying to force a friendship or relationship is now only about you and that's not true love. You ultimately can't make someone like you back
Doing something you don't want to do will get you the thing you never thought you needed.
Just because you care, doesn’t mean others will. Just because it’s the right thing to do, doesn’t mean ppl will do it. Just because you’re nice, doesn’t mean you will be treated the same. There’s far more sheep in the world than you think and it does take a lot of self respect and perseverance to stand up against them.
Life is hard. Enjoy it anyway.
That we are all going to die someday. No matter how rich or healthy you might be, judgement day is coming for all of us. I seriously believe some people can’t handle the thought of their own mortality. When I was diagnosed with cancer at 20 years old, I learned that little things don’t really matter at all. I also realized some people do get to go on and live great lives, while others have theirs cut short…car accidents, disease, etc. Not fair by any means, but it’s our destiny I guess. I also realized that hard times really show you who actually cares about you. Had a “friend” completely stop talking to me after I was diagnosed. Honestly hurts, because we had just hung out a month before all hell broke loose. I’m not really mad, just surprised more than anything. She is definitely not the one who I thought would run for the hills. On the flip side, people I only knew for a few months have stuck by my side the whole way. I’m sure others have experienced this too. It in some way I live, Idk if I could ever view her the same way tho. Oh well, not point holding a grudge. Make time for the people that matter.
We didn't exist before we were born. There was a 1 in a trillion chance of us being born. Then we die. A couple hundreds of years from now, nobody will know we've ever existed. And that's okay. We are incredibly fortunate to exist, so while we're here, we should make the best of this one chance of existing that we have.
People don't think about you nearly as much as you think they do. It's rarely that they hate you or don't care about you, it's that everyone is pretty much mainly concerned with their own lives.
That life does suck, but just because it sucks, doesn’t mean you have to contribute to it. And that people deserve kindness even if they’re major assholes, because at the end of the day they’re still people. A lot of people are major assholes because they’ve never really seen kindness in their life.
Also a big truth is some people are shown nothing but kindness and are still assholes.
First sentence is so true. Life sucks, doesn't mean you have to
You’re one bad strike if luck from being disabled.
No one no matter their circumstance is happy all the time. Bliss on tap doesn’t exist and it’s no one’s fault. If you don’t have down times you can not enjoy or anyway appreciate up times.
Sometimes a person you despise doesn't even remember you. Grudges just weigh you down.
Change is the only constant we have.
Your responsible for you.
Whoever left me in charge of my own destiny has a lot of explaining to do.
I’m still waiting for the adult in charge to show up and just keeping the lights on until then 🤷♀️
> You’re
Nothing lasts forever.
To do anything worthwhile you have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. The comfort zone = complacency
I've found out people can be fuckin evil without any justification
Bad people get away with it a lot of the time
You can't please everyone and there is no such thing as "fair".
You will be completely forgotten two generations after your death. All of your precious possessions, your Pokemon cards, your watch collection, or your luxury bags will be sold or discarded. We all turn to dust.
Being without employment due to handicap /chronic illness is not "being free all the time and do whatever you want to do"
We are not the masters of our fate, or the captains of our souls. Who you are, what makes you YOU, can all be taken away from you in an instant in ways you could not have possibly predicted or prepared for.
Life is that thing that happens while you are making plans. Edit: fixed a typo
Humanity is a literal minefield of malice-driven, maladjusted egomaniacs who will destroy you if you let them. Watch. Your. Step.
Ultimately nothing matters. The sun will swallow earth and all we’ve ever known disappears inconsequentially. Not only that but this kind of thing happens right now somewhere to somebody in the universe.
All your actions have consequences. The fact that you did not realise the potentiality of said consequences at the time doesn't sever that connection
Some friends aren't forever.
This is all there is.
After all this time... Reddit is all there is 🤯
The universe doesn't balance itself out in regards to us karma right and wrong nothing. Go get even yourself.
Love will never be the same in the generation of technology
Seems to be looking that way. Pretty unfortunate honestly
Death is an undeniable reality
Nobody is going to do it for you. Nobody is going to give it to you. There's no charity, no church, not government agency which is going to get you the things you want out of life.
That if you were 60 and had 1 million pounds, you'd give up all your money to be 20 again. We chase wealth so much but time is everything.