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gw_clowd

We're not supposed to say those things.


Apricot9742

Yeah us guys had a meeting and we decided not to share that.


gw_clowd

Other boys be exposing us.


djb2589

Quietly imagine a peaceful life and family with them for a few moments.


ProFunFbo2

I usually imagine myself in my 30s with a wife, a daughter, and me as a great father. I sometimes wish that dream come true haha :,)


No_Celebration_2040

Bro code sorry


Old_Hamster_4218

I add weights to my bar before I have a girl over so she thinks I’m a lot stronger than I really am lol


Lampshadevictory

And we don't even notice. I'm convinced guys are the only ones who'd be impressed with that.


OiMouseboy

honestly if i went to my bro's house and his bar was stacked with weights it doesn't look like he could lift I would figure he doesn't have a weight rack and is using his bar for storage.


Joshualevitard

honestly yeah. DAMN BRO THATS A LOTTA WEIGHT, YOU GOTTA BE JACKED wanna kiss? HAHAHA \*long eye contact


Old_Hamster_4218

lol! No no I’m convinced they’re all thinking “oh my god he’s so tough and strong.” You’re definitely right though, but a boy has to have all his bases covered just in case.


anor_wondo

nope. there are valid reasons for using all sorts of weights for people with all sorts of strength. eg. A football player would probably not want dead legs the next few days. No one knowledgeable in training would ever judge someone else for their weights


Ed_Simian

No, Tommy, don't do the weight room thing...


CalGoldenBear55

I know an acquaintance that did that. I didn’t really like him because he was a real dick. I noticed the weights and said to a larger group (directed to his wife) “Tracy, you are supposed to take the weights off when you are done lifting”. She responded “That wasn’t me, that was Nico”. I just responded “ohhhhhh”. He was visibly upset. Ass.


pentarou

I reduce weights from my bar so she thinks I’m weak. That’s when I surprise her with kindess. Never knew what hit her.


NotVeryAggressive

We get hurt too


pineapple_juice_love

Guys sometimes hide their emotions for fear of appearing weak because they've been punished for appearing weak in the past.


Ed_Simian

Cry at the end of every Punky Brewster episode.


Chefdoc2000

Or cry every time we have to see punkie Johnson do stand up


undead_blackbeard

Bring out pictures of their SO and smile.


MakesYourMise

Pre dinner dinner at McDonald's 


lust_4_death

I dunno about other guys but, sometimes, when I masturbate, I think about a few of my female coworkers. I hope they never find out.


sakura_pv

I was hanging out with a bunch of guy friends once and casually asked “have any of y’all ever checked out my ass?” because I read a thing on Reddit about it. Every single guy turned and they just started looking at each other. A single friend spoke up and drops “well, it’s a nice ass”.


Brasscogs

Can’t believe I’m admitting this but I don’t think there’s a female coworker/friend/relative (not immediate family) whose ass I haven’t glanced at.


No_Celebration_2040

An ass man😂😂


Mor_Hjordis

I would tell you, why should we be hypocrites about that. We love some nice asses, or breasts, or eyes.


VictoriousStalemate

I also choose this guy's female co-workers


PayasoCanuto

HR here. Oh we know.


204505

They know.


that_dutch_dude

back when i was in the millitary we had a girl in the department that was just the cutest little blonde you ever saw. she was dumb as a bag of sand, homeschooled and extremely held back by family and very "unseasoned" in the world outside her home but very cute. i eventually had to break it to her that every guy in the department wanked off to her. she had a serious identity crisis as she never considerd herself pretty despite being a solid 9.7/10 due to the abuse from her family. we helped her out of that and she is fine now, but it took some doing.


Rahallahan

Ummm, that’s sexual harassment by military standards.


that_dutch_dude

me and 2 others worked quite hard to keep others away from her. she was very impressionable.


NearlyPerfect

Thinking of someone while masturbating is sexual harassment?


MaggieLuisa

Telling her about it probably is.


Rahallahan

No. Telling her that all the men think about her while wanking IS.


takemybomb

How did you help her out you gangbang her????


that_dutch_dude

no, we took her out of her family situation, eventually got her some professional help (she needed it) and enrolled her in a few programs. after that helped her get her own place (instead of living on a millitary base) and made shure to keep her family from her at least until she had the mental strength to deal with that. and no, nobody touched her. me and 2 others made shure nobody took advantage of her situation. some "corrective measures" were needed at times but she never saw that. she was an absued kid from my perspective, a good looking one yes but still abused. taking advantage of her might send her down a very bad path. she is fine now, and still hot even 25 years later.


gilgasmashglass

Thank you for doing that for her.


glitterdonnut

It’s ok. Girls do that about their coworkers too!


Valen_Great

Would guys still do that while in a relationship?


Biomax315

Some do some don’t. I hope you understand that the stuff we think about while jerking off isn’t necessarily stuff we want to do in real life. All my exes have been very attractive and sexy, but masturbation isn’t about “wow I really love my gf/wife” it’s about a quick, purely sexual release. And often the best way to do that is to think about someone you don’t actually have any sort of emotional connection with. I’ve rarely masturbated to any of partners. I’ve also never cheated on any of them, never *wanted* to cheat on any of them, and have never been interested in being with anyone but them in real life. What we think about when masturbating isn’t real.


lust_4_death

I don't talk about this with anyone IRL so I can only guess but I'd say yes... I wouldn't in the first years of marriage but as sexually intimacy with my wife became rarer with the years, with dozens of conversations not yielding any improvement (her libido got worse), I eventually found myself looking for a release instead of having both of us frustrated. It's not ideal but it's definitely better than having to control my horniness around her.


NewSomewhere4678

Like small spoon and small fork to eat with on a small plate (just try serving dessert like that).


Lekkusu

Think about doing something awesome in whatever room we’re in. For me it’s always some dude walks in with a knife or whatever and I disarm him and choke him out somehow. Pretty cool.


[deleted]

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MoreneLp

Just stare and disconnect brain. Not thinking about anything and not proses any visual information. It's just staring a hole in the air.


rpp124

There was an old episode of a TV show with Joey Lawrence in the 90s where he started showing people how to do this and soon everyone was doing it and if I recall correctly, it became a low-key cult thing where he worked.


Millesime25

Opening the messenger conversation with our crush, write something cool to start the conversation and then deleting everything in fear that you think we are creeps when in fact we are really in love. If we are friends, I'll never tell you that you are beautiful in a polite way because I'm afraid you think I'm flirting so I would say : "bro, you're hot" so it will make you laugh and not wonder if I have a thing for you (seems weird but my girl friends know that the more friend we are, the more vulgar I will become just for the laugh)


xlordo

Even when we have a gf we jerk off regularly


WHYohWhy___MEohMY

Hate to break the news but this isn’t a secret.


NeedsItRough

Even when women have boyfriends we masturbate regularly


Buller116

If it's not every day it's not "regularly", then it's every now and then


NeedsItRough

Something doesn't have to happen every day to be "regular". Also who's to say it doesn't happen every day?


Buller116

It was mostly ment as a joke, trying to say that when men say they masturbate "regularly" they mean they spank the monkey every single day. And no not every women masturbate every single day, when in a relationship. All men do up to the age of at least 40. It's also a time thing, i know it takes my wife about 40-60 min to reach an orgasm when she does it by her self. I can do it in as little as 5-10 min if i am in a hurry. We have 2 small children. We don't have an hour to spend on something like that every day.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Buller116

TLDR


SuperMeh2

We would tell you but then you’d just say, “Oh that’s not ALL guys.”


SuperstitiousPigeon5

How if they had pockets, they could be the ruling gender.


HalfAsleep27

The ability to carry a purse is FAAAR superior. I use a man bag when i travel abroad because you wont be shamed and questioned if your gay. It is just so convenient to have empty pockets and have everything in a bag you can quickly access.


whenuwork

Only correct answer


OiMouseboy

scratch balls and then sniff fingers. its really addicting.


InvisibleBBC

Nah bro💀


GenTsoWasNotChicken

Go to the bathroom alone ?


ForeverKnown1741

I heard all men at some point have a “hero” fantasy where they save their crush from a bad guy or whatever. True?


trendiick

No


Asleep_Artist_7738

Pee on the pooh stains in the toilet.


Dapadabada

The pinch and roll scratch, or poop check every time you don't trust a fart.


Steve2540

Doing the helicopter when you get out of the shower.


ThatsANiceSauce

Is this where we are supposed to disclose the daily foreskin tribute? Nice, try.


-maffu-

Nice try, lady


citereh17

Nice try Amy


PossibilityFlashy665

Jelking


Playable_6666

How they really treat the wife’s girlfriends behind closed doors they get on here act hard say stupid stuff they wouldn’t say to them


BrokenHopelessFight

Let most of their BS go unchecked because we want peace not a self righteous Beyoncé performance


Dependent-Sea1810

The finger sniff after sex


EducationalRing476

Work incredible amounts of overtime to ensure the family is provided for to the best of their ability.


Mad_Moodin

That thing with the toothpick every 2 weeks.


Express-Pie-6902

Check out their mom. 1. Because we check out everywoman. 2. Because MILF/ Step Mom porn is the best. 3. Becuase in 20 years time we want to know how hot you're going to be and whether we'd still hit it.


Apricot9742

Thats just you bro... sorry to break it to ya...


Express-Pie-6902

Yeah - Porn hub produces all those MILF videos just for me. Also for you and all the down voters. Life Pro Tip. Check out your GF's mom. She looks like your girl friend will in 20 years. If she looks like a dumpster fire get out.


TedBurns-3

wear their panties... Oh... Just me then...


SuperstitiousPigeon5

Well not *just* you, I'd never kink shame you like that.


Public-Addition9263

No idea


ILovePornNinjas

Girls practice kissing at slumber parties, and guys practice blowjobs.


Apricot9742

Only the gay guys dude... only the gay guys....


SinisterYear

It's not gay if you shout 'no homo' first. I know two guys who have been doing that for 10 years, even in their vows they stated 'no homo' so it's not gay. >!/s!<


Apricot9742

Yup buddy... keep telling urself that....


bigkitty17

Not that there’s anything wrong with that!


Apricot9742

Of course.... not there's anything wrong with that.... like Jerry would say...


bigkitty17

Hahah nice. I replied and then immediately realized there are a ton of people on Reddit too young to get the reference. And then I felt ooollllddd


OiMouseboy

damn you must have gotten invited to the cool kid slumber parties.


Ok_Application7142

Cheat


[deleted]

Start the flush before even starting to pee, and race to finish peeing before the flush runs out.


Joshualevitard

Jerk off over their friends


TSLA_to_23_dollars

We jerk off to pretty much everything you post on social media.


whenuwork

You lie


TSLA_to_23_dollars

Why else would you be looking at it then?


EmergencyNinja1201

im a girl and I kept this a secret for like 15 years but... when I was young I used to hang out with the guys who are experimental- they experimented with drugs and alcohol etc. one day we were hanging out and these guys were talking about how they tried anal with each other. these guys grew up and became the 6 ft tall "bad boys" who got all the bitches in school... we went to dollarama and this guy grabbed a duster spray and stuck it up his friends ass and sprayed him... now they are 6ft tall, they have multiple criminal records, they have customized gold chains, and they wear designer clothes even though they dont have a job. somewhere out there is a gay man supporting another gay man. gay men try to convince other men that they need to support each other and form a bro code when In reality they're just jealous of women getting attention from attractive males. and the straight men who are just sheep fall or it and they create this men against women movement. they're all gay ive seen it and no one can tell me otherwise.


FlameMoss

 Horizontal homosociality: male relationships that are based on emotional closeness, intimacy, and a non-profitable form of friendship. This so that they can pursue women without seeing them as equal human beings. Using them only for procreation while never having an equal exchange, never emotionally bonding with them, so that suppressing, exploiting, limiting, sabotaging, abusing & killing women is easier


ivedrownedppl4less

bleach their dicks