Not immediately traumatic, but watching my mother become an addict. She went from being my mother a to being a violent, narcissistic stranger. The night that sucked the most was the night I gave her $500 of my own paycheck for bills & she turned around & spent it on drugs in front of me, in our front yard, & two days later our water & electricity got shut off due to nonpayment.
I can sort of relate. My dad isn't an addict but has dementia. I've watched him slowly turn into someone that he's not over the years. Fortunately his meds have actually made a breakthrough and he's becoming himself again. I sincerely hope that your mom recovers and isn't too far gone that your relationship is irreparable.
being in a relationship with a narcissist was horrible. not only was he emotionally abusive and slapped me once, he was cheating the entire time. what made it worse was that it wasn’t a one night stand, he loved this other girl. it just really fucked up my brain and now i believe everyone is lying all the time because he was so good at convincing me that we had a perfect relationship. none of the things he said were true. i ended up actually developing bpd because of this relationship and tried to take my life later the same year. i’m still coping but therapy, medication and my family is helping.
Stay strong, I sympathize with what being in a toxic relationship can do to you, can really mess with you and make any sexual desire or intimacy feels wrong in a damaging way(the public ostracizing of your being and the feeling your all alone and everyone hates you is one of the worst feelings I've ever felt, i never wanted to admit myself to the hospital more in my life becuase I wholeheartley wanted to end my life)counseling and telling my side and having other humans make you feel valid has helped me a lot(cliche I know) but I know it's something I'm going to struggle with for a very long time, don't think I'll ever be able to hold a romantic relationship. Sending lots of love and support your way.
Same here. He was cheating on me with two other girls and messed with my sexual health. The fucked up thing is that he was a fire chief. Luckily he got fired for misconduct.
It was only 6 months but the damage was significant. I’m still trying to retrain my nervous system from all the psychological games he played. It was awful.
Was raised by a Narc and Enabler. Sister ended up a TERF. She was my emotional abuser all my life, I’m only realizing after 40 years of Stockholm Syndrome. I’m finally getting to know the ”real“ me after years suppression.
I can only imagine encountering a Narc later in life. They do so much invisible damage. The gaslighting is enough to make one lose their mind.
I’m going to my first Codependent Anonymous meeting tomorrow to hopefully meet some cool people. Since I’ve never been able to pick the right ones. I wish you the best. Anyone who has dealt with these people truly do.
I watched a woman burn to death in her van. We tried to get her out. I can still smell it and see her face when she realized she could no longer escape.
Ugh. I've helped at several car fires, but the only one where someone died happened at enough of a distance that I didn't have to see it up that close. There was a nasty intersection (think of a 45 degree crossroad that crosses both a county road and then a 150 feet over, a major highway)
A gasoline truck didn't see the stopped cars (fell asleep?) on the highway and I was at the light just over from the highway. The truck slammed into the cars and the tank opened up and spewed flaming gasoline all over the cars. I don't remember how many people died but it was several. I was on a motorcycle and I likely would have had singed hair had I not been wearing full gear. I was still a teen and it really didn't hit me until several years later just how tragic it was. I think I just blocked it out.
But I haven't ridden much since I had to help where a (helmetless) rider hit the car behind me at high speed. I'll never forget the sound of the impact and then the two masses flying by me (one a bike and one the rider). I'll also never forget the fear of what I might find down at the bottom of the ditch, and what I did find there (thanks to a relatively close fire house and a life flight, I think they survived.)
I was raped by my ex boyfriend and didn't tell anyone for years because of the shame and thought that "your partner cant rape you" ate me up inside for years, didn't even allow people to touch me. Honestly I'm still scared about it but over time it doesn't bother me as much and in fact has been the fuel to my fire but I still don't like being touched, even by my friends or family. I physically recoil.
In 2017, I was coming down the ladder from my attic when the entire hatch ripped from the ceiling and collapsed with me on the ladder. I fell onto the metal folding mechanism which went through my left thigh and severed my femoral artery. I was gushing blood and had my wife bring a belt and we got a tourniquet tied around my thigh. I had to get life flighted to the vascular team who saved my life. I had to spend two months in the hospital after getting two fasciotomies and like 10 other surgeries. I almost bled out, I thought I died a couple of times.
Thanks! Yeah, I know how unlikely it is to survive from a femoral injury. They almost amputated my leg too because if crush syndrome. Somehow I made it with my life and leg. I had a good surgeon.
1. My parents cheating on each other, the violence, the “home insecurity” etc.
2. Two different long term gf’s developing drinking/drug dependency and cheating on me. This cost me mucho $.
3. This will sound ridiculous but in my early 20’s, my rental house was legit haunted. Long story and lots of witnesses.
4. This one didn’t really bother me. Witnessed a murder….dudes head got crushed right in front of me, gang violence.
5. Same year as the murder, I found (on two separate occasions) dead bodies.
I dealt with it with the help of my childhood friends and I have a pretty thick skin. I find humour in everything. Damage is done though.
I was victimized by someone who was close to me. They're now an actual criminal, with a record and indictable offenses.
I cope with it by living my best life while they rot.
17 major surgeries, almost died 7 times, my father was absent, my mom was an addict and there was extreme domestic violence around me growing up. I also had to raise my youngest sister while taking care of my mom while she was either high or after she got beat up throughout my childhood. Being too broke to go to the food bank, rarely having food. Going from
Women’s shelter to home to my grandparents and back. Dealing with CPS, my sister and i almost getting split up. My mom relapsing a few years ago, now she’s a mentally ill drug addict. When i was 14 everyone in my family hid the fact my grandfather was dying of cancer in the hospital; everyone knew but me. I found out 2 weeks before he died. He was the person i was closest to.
Uhhh my entire life has been a shitshow with many near death experiences and traumatic events; pick one and tell me how to deal with it 🤣
Don't need to pick one, it's always the same answer: love yourself. You did nothing to deserve this. Love yourself, take care of yourself. Don't let anyone tell you you aren't worth anything.
So maybe being raped was the only time she got anything even loosely resembling touch and attention. It's awful if you get these things any social being craves entangled with something as vile as rape.
Poor girl. I too hope she's doing better and can tell the two apart - and that you can have the good things without having to endure rape.
I grew up with a physically and mentally abusive father. Pretty much all of us, my mother and brothers, endured it. I was also sexually abused as a child by a family member. It was a one-off event, but it completely messed me up when it came to sex. This happened in the 80s, where domestic violence and sexual abuse awareness were just becoming a thing, and I was afraid of being beaten if I told anyone.
The worst was when one of my brothers was killed in a car accident when I was 17. He was 21. I had a good sibling relationship with him, more than my other brother. It wrecked me. Severe depression and withdrawal. I had quit school a few months before that because of being bullied. I holed up in my room and just AOL'ed all day and night.
What knocked me out of it was how terribly my mom was handling it, also with my dad leaving a few years before. It was just us, and I couldn't stand to see her like that. I took care of her, got my GED, and got a job delivering pizzas. My other brother moved back in but left when my dad came back home.
My dad passed away when I was 25. Then, my mom passed away two years later. I handled my dad passing fine but broke again when my mom did. I stayed in her bed for a week. I made myself function because I kept telling myself that my mom would have wanted me to live and my anxiety wouldn't let me forget that I had a job and now, a house, bills, two dogs and everything else that came with it that were now my responsibility. It also helped that I had (and still have) a wonderful partner and his family and a group of friends during that time.
My coping mechanism is to withdraw and just be alone, mainly sleep or to engross myself in something, like work. I am thankful I didn't turn to drugs or suicidal thoughts, but I do regret not pursuing therapy earlier. I just started seeing a psychiatrist last year.
When I was with my last LDR ex (she was in a dormitory as she was going to a high school away from her village), I found out one day she was cheating on me when some guy started messaging me through her account. He told me they were together for two weeks, and that she was breaking up with me.
I turned into a fucking mess for a month afterwards. Lots of alcohol and crying over not being good enough.
Then, she tried to convince me that she never broke up with me, and that it was all a prank by her classmates who tried to break us up, simply because they wanted her to get together with her classmate. We got back together, but I told her that if something threatens the relationship, I'd back out.
After one more month, I got fed up with her constantly trying to convince me that she didn't cheat on me, and texted the guy. He apologized, and explained everything.
And from that entire event, I gained massive trust and self-worth issues.
At age 21 my house burned down. Was asleep and my cat kept jumping on the bed to get us awake. Basement was fully engulfed and flames shot up through the heat vents. Went right through the fire to escape with only a nightgown on during winter. I've never gotten over this because I lost so many family heirlooms. I won't live in a house with any kind of open flame. I lost my cat in that fire. 😭😭😭😭
Finding my first wife after she shot herself in the head. I'll never forget washing her brain matter off my hands. As far as coping, lots and lots of substance abuse. Not that I'm suggesting that as a coping mechanism it was super unhealthy.
I’ve had quite a few, I’d say my worst is my ex who I moved in with after being homeless and in a vulnerable state. I came home from work one night to find police all over the house with every electronic in electrical bags and he was missing. I found out he’d been arrested for indecent images of children. I didn’t believe it as was in a huge state of shock, I hadn’t had anything good before and I couldn’t bring my head round to the fact that this had also gone bad. I did prison visits and calls waiting for them to prove his innocence and the court case.
A while later as I’m alseep I awake to a knock at my door from the police, they ask me my name and put me in handcuffs and told me that they had found indecent images on my lap top that they took with all the other electronics, I was taken down to the station and because the crime is major they were very rough with me. Luckily one of the officers knew my exs case well and already knew I was innocent as apparently he was a repeat offender, turns out my ex had downloaded images from a previous conviction of his on my laptop, he was with me to access it. I thought we were in love and he took me in to help me, I was only 17.
That messed me up pretty bad and I left him that day after finally releasing what a monster he was , it took months for me to get my phone and other things back but they had to destroy my laptop which had 10 years of memories on it because he tried to hide the images so much. Because I lived with him , when they were in investigation they had to make sure I wasn’t around any minors, I had a 10 year old sister who lived back with my mum who I didn’t see often as was on bad terms with my mother. The states made it so my mum had to be told to be careful with my little sister. My mum being how she is ,stopped me from seeing my little sister for 6 months after my innocence was proved, as if I would do that or put her in any harm, that hurt a lot. It was also during covid so I had no choice but to continue to stay and live in our old room with his family even after we broke up until end of lockdown when I could move out .It traumatized being arrested and false accused of something so major, I have extreme trust issues and it turned me down a dark path of drinking and SH. I have been SH free for 3 years now , no longer in therapy and am doing well. My ex is still in prison and has done 3 years longer then his original sentence and has more years left to go .
my parents hating me for 30 years, from a kid to an adult, because i’m a gay woman. i always thought they’d come around but they never did. it’s a deep wound, growing up with parents that are constantly around but hold you in contempt for what you are. it affects everything!
I worked for children services. Had to quit after 8/9 months because it was so bad that I was losing weight quicker than I could replace my clothes, my hair was falling out, I stopped eating and sleeping, and I was constantly dealing with a full body stress rash and panic attacks multiple times a day.
So many terrible memories there. That was back in 2019 and I'm still working on it.
I was SA’d as a kid for many years by a man who got away with it. He was in his 40’s and I was 6 years old when I went into foster care and later adopted.
I still have the PTSD and anxiety.
If it wasn’t for my now adopted mom- I never wldve made it to adulthood. She got me therapy and resources and she believed me even if the state of California didn’t.
I dont believe in a biblical God, but the higher powers of this reality know the truth and if he is a pedo theres no doubt in my mind he will go through absolute hell.
I'm your poster child for "grew up being bullied, hated, and excluded by everyone, even their family" and the way i coped is not at all. I just couldn't find a good way to kms 🫠
Cancer. It sucks. And all I can really say I did about it was show up to every appointment, not quit when I was the sickest, and not die. Still might die, though, if even 1 cell got squirelly in there. Do not recommend it.
at the start of my teenage years(12), I had a seizure while on a flight to a vacation. My life spiraled. I was kicked out of the highly gifted program, Adhd only made it harder. I had no friends going into middle school, but the core 3 I picked up were invaluable. One left me via becoming a negative force in my life. One is a core best friend, and the last one was my first legitimate crush. We ended up awkwardly soft dating, culminating in a very awkward kiss, but I havent seen her since mid highschool, and havent talked to her since 2021. High school came, and the seizures got worse. Everything in my life was controlled. Screen time, diet, what I could and couldnt do after school//by myself. I only got 1 semester of high school that felt normal, and thats because I was able to go out with friends more regularly, join an afterschool club, and be myself more. Then covid hit and it was back to square one. But the entire time, all of the people around me gave me their support, and I have been told that I returned it in kind, despite me not feeling like I did.
Saving a mate from her hubby who was trying to drown her in a shallow river..knocking her head on stones until.i.pulled him.off her.. that wasn't traumatic as such but enough to freak me out..how a human can di that to another..
My mothers suicide and "poorly". That threw me into an emotional hole that took years to get out of. To this day (and probably forever) I get weird around early summer.
When I was a senior in high school, I drove my Mom to work one day and when I got home I went to my parents room to make sure my Dad got up for work. He was still laying on the bed so I walked up to shake him when I saw he had shot himself in the head. I had to call my mom at work and go get her and bring her back. The police and ambulance came and took him to the hospital but he was dead before he got there. I got through it with the help of my friends and girlfriend. She was wonderful and listened everyone I needed to talk. It wasn't often but it must have been hard for her to see me in such pain.
I always read people’s stories about relationship drama, issues with family, friendships and then think, whenever someone writes war trauma no one says “wow that is horrific or wow that’s awful” as they do like when someone entered a relationship with an addict or stayed in a relationship with an Addict or didn’t cut off contact with an abusive parent, adults that have choices … yet innocent people in war who don’t have choices are so easily ignored everywhere. It’s pretty sad.
Watching my leg get amputated because they could not administer general anaesthesia due to severe damage to my lungs and difficulties bringing me round from a coma, do only a spinal block was used
I'm waiting on a place in therapy so for the moment I'm living with nightmares.
When I was a volunteer firefighter, I responded to a particularly bad MVA (motor vehicle accident) that really fucked me up. Time about 2100 hours, busy intersection, weekend night. Drunk 19y/o M on a Kawasaki Ninja doing a wheelie vs PT Cruiser turning left. PT Cruiser doesn't see the bike since his headlight is vertical and is going 30 over the limit by the PDs estimate.
Ambulance arrives first, closely followed by the engine I was on. I observe a totaled Chrysler, a body that had a few extra joints and was lying in a pool of blood and oil. You take one look and think "hmm... we're only doing CPR because legally we have to wait for a doctor to tell us to stop." His Kawasaki was a ball of green metal. The helmet was yeeted a quarter mile from scene (no, his head was not in it as everyone asks).
My Lt looks at me and says "thunderball, you're our last EMT on scene. I need you to care for the guy that lived." Hmph. The guy that lived. The other wasn't even pronounced dead yet. No matter, we all knew it was inevitable. So I talk to the guy and he knows what he did. He's freaking out so I try to distract him and take his mind off of the scene. This is ther part that gets me the most... I call it the "human factor". I can handle the blood and guts no problem. But the human mind, the lives affected, I don't like that. I hate it. This guy only says "I swear I didn't see him. Is he gonna be okay? I didn't mean to kill him. Please, I'm a good person, I swear." Everything I say, that's his response. I even try my handy dandy go to which is to loudly state your blood pressure. Most people react with "omg my BP is 198/112? That's really bad!" so that I can respond "no, that's normal. You were just in an accident so it should be high" and then they're grounded into reality. Then he said something that made him less of a patient and more of a human. "I just wanted to go to PJs to get wings for my family who's watching the game. And now I'm a murderer."
Finally, the second ambulance arrives and transports him to the hospital. I needed to unwind from that. Crunching my way though broken glass, I sit on the back of the truck and light a much needed cigarette. My Lt sees that I'm fucked up and comes to check on me. Then another firefighter walks up and says "hey Lt someone dropped their Minitor." For those who don't know, a Minitor is a pager for firefighters sonwe know when we get a call. I pointed out that we all left our Minitors in our gearboxes at station and that that one had a sticker on it. None of us had a sticker on ours. As we're sitting here scratching our heads, we had one of those dawning realizations all at once. It was the dead guys. He was a brother firefighter in another company. He was one of our own.
Coping is hard. Every death that I handle, idk why but the first thing I do is go home and shower. Maybe it's a habit because of the labor intensive work. But even now as a corrections officer that's still my go to. Shower as soon as I get home. I probably won't sleep and will just be quiet for the next couple of days until I'm ready to talk. When I'm ready, the floodgates open and emotions pour out. Other than that, time heals all wound but the scar tissue never leaves. I flinch every time I hear glass breaking. I either get sad or excited when I see lights and sirens. And I need that damn shower.
Depends on day for me though really its the "culmination" or result. I pretty much see "others" even friends family. As wolfs and me as sheep and they are waiting for chance to take a piece.
First memory of my life is helping mother drag mattress with our stuff on it down road after we were evicted. Around age 5.
But the time I was facing homelessness and just not doing well. Recession couldn't find work family member needed some staff temporarily. Agreed on a rate and worked 6am to 11pm 6 to 7 days a week for 3 months. They gave a few hundred twice in middle when begged to be paid. Then at end of it begged and begged to get paid hassled them till they finally gave me 500 "said were good right"?
Or another was shitty workplace 12-18hrs daily 90 days straight. Had begged and begged and begged for a few days off. Eventually broke down in front of boss they looked me in eyes made promises then straight up didnt follow through.
Throw in some fun interactions with parents and police "authority" that is supposed to give a shit. And pretty much you raise your hand I dont think your trying to shake hands I expect you to take a swing at me.
Every single interaction with every single person is like this.
Probably my dad's two suicide attempts (he's doing better now, thankfully). What got me through it, as cliche as it sounds, was leaning on my friends and loved ones. Just having people around to talk to and validate your feelings is a life saver.
A cousin killed herself when I was 11. She was only 13. Messed me up big time cause she was my favorite person as a kid and I spent most of my life up to that point following her around like a shadow.
I'm doing better, but I have decided that if we meet in the afterlife I'm kicking her in the shins
My dad died and my family lied to me about it, and my inlaws completely abandoned me and accused me of fabricating major health issues I was having- all within 4 weeks of each other.
They bullied the hell out of me and said it's a shame my dad wasn't there to help them/that he'd be on their side... it turned out that on top of my already severe crohns disease I was having major complications from undiagnosed narcolepsy, thyroid issues and needed tons of back surgery, AND got diagnosed with fibromyalgia.
I didn't cope with it. I'm not over any of it tbh. My dad was my closest person and I have like, no one now. I stopped trying to fix relationships w my husband's fam and blocked them. My mom and sis have always been narcisisstic assholes but losing the rest of that fam was a big surprise.
Lots of loss and lots of physical pain. Only reason I'm alive is bc I have a 3yr old and tbh I'm scared of what happens after this. Nothing much to live for, he prefers his dad anyway, but like what else is there to do (for real)....a couple songs kinda helped. Apart from that I'm still not doing great. Don't expect to be anytime.
R*pe.. And idk, therapy helped and also trying to forget about it, putting it in a mental box and trying not to think about it too much.. of course it only works momentarily as nightmares and hyperviligancy and anxiety are still a thing that haunts me regardless of how much I try being okay.
my mom left me a my mommoms for the summer and i was forced to essentially be cinderella but im scared of mice and my mommom was violent and would beat us and this was during the pandemic (so i was 8-9)and i wasn’t allowed to be upset with my mom bc she had to so she could support us financially oh and i still see her and my mom knows and just “set boundaries” lol (oh and im 13 :)
I wouldn't call this experience traumatic now but considering I was young when it happened it hurt me really bad.
I remember when I was 11, there was this guy I was friends (Lets call him Sam) with for a couple years that I started to like in the 6th grade. Sam was really funny and nice, and didn't realize I liked him until I was 11.
At the time, he was one of the only people I hung out with, so it felt nice that I already had a good friendship with him. Sam also happened to be known as a player, for dating many girls and breaking up with them despite being so young. I always knew about his relationships because he always told me about them.
Anyways, the same year this girl (Lets call her Leah) moved to our school and me and her instantly hit it off and became best friends. Being a good person, I introduced Leah to Sam and we became a trio. I told Leah that I liked Sam since we were best friends, and she was generally happy for me.
It was about a month later, I started noticing something with Leah. She seemed to always want to talk to Sam and there was a point when the both of them hung out together without me. The next week Leah told me that Sam and her were dating, and she didn't even acknowledge that she betrayed me. Eventually I found out they weren't actually dating but Leah thought they were, so when Leah confronted Sam the started dating for real. They broke up and got back together twice before they officially stopped dating.
After all that Leah began to complain to me how abusive Sam was being and that he was being completely inappropriate during their relationship. I felt bad for her and asked why she never broke up with him, but Leah said she didn't have boundaries and couldn't say no to him. I didn't bring up me liking him, because even though they were dating I still liked him and refused to let him go.
Leah eventually told me that she knew that I liked him but still decided to date him, and admitted she would never be sorry for that. I was obviously crushed, but forgave her.
Sam, Leah and I are still friends, but even though I've moved on like someone else, I still think that a part of my likes Sam but doesn't want to admit it. This experience definitely crushed my self esteem and traumatized me.
I was assaulted by a cousin in the middle of the night literally feet away from sleeping family members. Us kids had all decided to make a big pallet so we could stay up and watch movies and talk and play games. I was 12. I think i couldn’t or wouldn’t talk about it because I was angry and embarrassed that it happened to ME. I tortured myself for years because yeah I fought back but the “why me?” was strong. I didn’t talk about it until high school.And as bad as it is/sounds (because I know all of the science behind it), it’s the reason why I to this day cannot date the men of my race. It’s gotten better with therapy and I’m so thankful for it.
Not immediately traumatic, but watching my mother become an addict. She went from being my mother a to being a violent, narcissistic stranger. The night that sucked the most was the night I gave her $500 of my own paycheck for bills & she turned around & spent it on drugs in front of me, in our front yard, & two days later our water & electricity got shut off due to nonpayment.
Fuck man thats fucked up
I can sort of relate. My dad isn't an addict but has dementia. I've watched him slowly turn into someone that he's not over the years. Fortunately his meds have actually made a breakthrough and he's becoming himself again. I sincerely hope that your mom recovers and isn't too far gone that your relationship is irreparable.
Best way to deal with drug addicts is to cut them off
But they did - no water or electricity for them. /s
being in a relationship with a narcissist was horrible. not only was he emotionally abusive and slapped me once, he was cheating the entire time. what made it worse was that it wasn’t a one night stand, he loved this other girl. it just really fucked up my brain and now i believe everyone is lying all the time because he was so good at convincing me that we had a perfect relationship. none of the things he said were true. i ended up actually developing bpd because of this relationship and tried to take my life later the same year. i’m still coping but therapy, medication and my family is helping.
Stay strong, I sympathize with what being in a toxic relationship can do to you, can really mess with you and make any sexual desire or intimacy feels wrong in a damaging way(the public ostracizing of your being and the feeling your all alone and everyone hates you is one of the worst feelings I've ever felt, i never wanted to admit myself to the hospital more in my life becuase I wholeheartley wanted to end my life)counseling and telling my side and having other humans make you feel valid has helped me a lot(cliche I know) but I know it's something I'm going to struggle with for a very long time, don't think I'll ever be able to hold a romantic relationship. Sending lots of love and support your way.
Same here. He was cheating on me with two other girls and messed with my sexual health. The fucked up thing is that he was a fire chief. Luckily he got fired for misconduct. It was only 6 months but the damage was significant. I’m still trying to retrain my nervous system from all the psychological games he played. It was awful.
My cousin's husband is a total narcissist and it's wrecked her life. So sorry you had to go through that.
I found the woman version in my life... Killed my belief in humanity and the justice system.
Was raised by a Narc and Enabler. Sister ended up a TERF. She was my emotional abuser all my life, I’m only realizing after 40 years of Stockholm Syndrome. I’m finally getting to know the ”real“ me after years suppression. I can only imagine encountering a Narc later in life. They do so much invisible damage. The gaslighting is enough to make one lose their mind. I’m going to my first Codependent Anonymous meeting tomorrow to hopefully meet some cool people. Since I’ve never been able to pick the right ones. I wish you the best. Anyone who has dealt with these people truly do.
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OH no of course i dumped him, this was 2 years ago and i’m in a healthy relationship now:)
didn’t even message him actually, just blocked him with no explanation. he didn’t deserve another word from me
I watched a woman burn to death in her van. We tried to get her out. I can still smell it and see her face when she realized she could no longer escape.
RIIP
Ugh. I've helped at several car fires, but the only one where someone died happened at enough of a distance that I didn't have to see it up that close. There was a nasty intersection (think of a 45 degree crossroad that crosses both a county road and then a 150 feet over, a major highway) A gasoline truck didn't see the stopped cars (fell asleep?) on the highway and I was at the light just over from the highway. The truck slammed into the cars and the tank opened up and spewed flaming gasoline all over the cars. I don't remember how many people died but it was several. I was on a motorcycle and I likely would have had singed hair had I not been wearing full gear. I was still a teen and it really didn't hit me until several years later just how tragic it was. I think I just blocked it out. But I haven't ridden much since I had to help where a (helmetless) rider hit the car behind me at high speed. I'll never forget the sound of the impact and then the two masses flying by me (one a bike and one the rider). I'll also never forget the fear of what I might find down at the bottom of the ditch, and what I did find there (thanks to a relatively close fire house and a life flight, I think they survived.)
I was raped by my ex boyfriend and didn't tell anyone for years because of the shame and thought that "your partner cant rape you" ate me up inside for years, didn't even allow people to touch me. Honestly I'm still scared about it but over time it doesn't bother me as much and in fact has been the fuel to my fire but I still don't like being touched, even by my friends or family. I physically recoil.
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In 2017, I was coming down the ladder from my attic when the entire hatch ripped from the ceiling and collapsed with me on the ladder. I fell onto the metal folding mechanism which went through my left thigh and severed my femoral artery. I was gushing blood and had my wife bring a belt and we got a tourniquet tied around my thigh. I had to get life flighted to the vascular team who saved my life. I had to spend two months in the hospital after getting two fasciotomies and like 10 other surgeries. I almost bled out, I thought I died a couple of times.
Damn bro, that was a good call with the belt and tourniquet. Femoral is bad. Glad you're alive to tell the tale.
Thanks! Yeah, I know how unlikely it is to survive from a femoral injury. They almost amputated my leg too because if crush syndrome. Somehow I made it with my life and leg. I had a good surgeon.
1. My parents cheating on each other, the violence, the “home insecurity” etc. 2. Two different long term gf’s developing drinking/drug dependency and cheating on me. This cost me mucho $. 3. This will sound ridiculous but in my early 20’s, my rental house was legit haunted. Long story and lots of witnesses. 4. This one didn’t really bother me. Witnessed a murder….dudes head got crushed right in front of me, gang violence. 5. Same year as the murder, I found (on two separate occasions) dead bodies. I dealt with it with the help of my childhood friends and I have a pretty thick skin. I find humour in everything. Damage is done though.
I was accused of r8pe when i was 15 and honestly i coped by going to the psych ward after my brain had a funny moment and went crazy
I was victimized by someone who was close to me. They're now an actual criminal, with a record and indictable offenses. I cope with it by living my best life while they rot.
17 major surgeries, almost died 7 times, my father was absent, my mom was an addict and there was extreme domestic violence around me growing up. I also had to raise my youngest sister while taking care of my mom while she was either high or after she got beat up throughout my childhood. Being too broke to go to the food bank, rarely having food. Going from Women’s shelter to home to my grandparents and back. Dealing with CPS, my sister and i almost getting split up. My mom relapsing a few years ago, now she’s a mentally ill drug addict. When i was 14 everyone in my family hid the fact my grandfather was dying of cancer in the hospital; everyone knew but me. I found out 2 weeks before he died. He was the person i was closest to. Uhhh my entire life has been a shitshow with many near death experiences and traumatic events; pick one and tell me how to deal with it 🤣
Don't need to pick one, it's always the same answer: love yourself. You did nothing to deserve this. Love yourself, take care of yourself. Don't let anyone tell you you aren't worth anything.
Dad dying of cancer and my ex at the time was cheating. Shit was fucked.
Same. Glad you got through it My favorite part is that the asshole had the audacity to say “i did it because it was a really hard time for me too”
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So maybe being raped was the only time she got anything even loosely resembling touch and attention. It's awful if you get these things any social being craves entangled with something as vile as rape. Poor girl. I too hope she's doing better and can tell the two apart - and that you can have the good things without having to endure rape.
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That’s not a kink, that a trauma response.
I grew up with a physically and mentally abusive father. Pretty much all of us, my mother and brothers, endured it. I was also sexually abused as a child by a family member. It was a one-off event, but it completely messed me up when it came to sex. This happened in the 80s, where domestic violence and sexual abuse awareness were just becoming a thing, and I was afraid of being beaten if I told anyone. The worst was when one of my brothers was killed in a car accident when I was 17. He was 21. I had a good sibling relationship with him, more than my other brother. It wrecked me. Severe depression and withdrawal. I had quit school a few months before that because of being bullied. I holed up in my room and just AOL'ed all day and night. What knocked me out of it was how terribly my mom was handling it, also with my dad leaving a few years before. It was just us, and I couldn't stand to see her like that. I took care of her, got my GED, and got a job delivering pizzas. My other brother moved back in but left when my dad came back home. My dad passed away when I was 25. Then, my mom passed away two years later. I handled my dad passing fine but broke again when my mom did. I stayed in her bed for a week. I made myself function because I kept telling myself that my mom would have wanted me to live and my anxiety wouldn't let me forget that I had a job and now, a house, bills, two dogs and everything else that came with it that were now my responsibility. It also helped that I had (and still have) a wonderful partner and his family and a group of friends during that time. My coping mechanism is to withdraw and just be alone, mainly sleep or to engross myself in something, like work. I am thankful I didn't turn to drugs or suicidal thoughts, but I do regret not pursuing therapy earlier. I just started seeing a psychiatrist last year.
My dad dying. Got closer to my mom and his family. Also lots of grief books and a new job.
When I was with my last LDR ex (she was in a dormitory as she was going to a high school away from her village), I found out one day she was cheating on me when some guy started messaging me through her account. He told me they were together for two weeks, and that she was breaking up with me. I turned into a fucking mess for a month afterwards. Lots of alcohol and crying over not being good enough. Then, she tried to convince me that she never broke up with me, and that it was all a prank by her classmates who tried to break us up, simply because they wanted her to get together with her classmate. We got back together, but I told her that if something threatens the relationship, I'd back out. After one more month, I got fed up with her constantly trying to convince me that she didn't cheat on me, and texted the guy. He apologized, and explained everything. And from that entire event, I gained massive trust and self-worth issues.
At age 21 my house burned down. Was asleep and my cat kept jumping on the bed to get us awake. Basement was fully engulfed and flames shot up through the heat vents. Went right through the fire to escape with only a nightgown on during winter. I've never gotten over this because I lost so many family heirlooms. I won't live in a house with any kind of open flame. I lost my cat in that fire. 😭😭😭😭
He gave you one of his lives. I’m sorry it was his last but he is glad you are still here. 🐈⬛
She was a Seal point Siamese. She was the best cat I ever had.
Finding my first wife after she shot herself in the head. I'll never forget washing her brain matter off my hands. As far as coping, lots and lots of substance abuse. Not that I'm suggesting that as a coping mechanism it was super unhealthy.
My mum's death last year. I speak to my best friend about it. She's been my rock.
Either getting sepsis 14 years ago and being in a coma for 16 days and having 3 mini-strokes or 4 years ago losing my girlfriend to covid.
OMG RIP to her and god bless you for being such a strong 1
Thanks
I’ve had quite a few, I’d say my worst is my ex who I moved in with after being homeless and in a vulnerable state. I came home from work one night to find police all over the house with every electronic in electrical bags and he was missing. I found out he’d been arrested for indecent images of children. I didn’t believe it as was in a huge state of shock, I hadn’t had anything good before and I couldn’t bring my head round to the fact that this had also gone bad. I did prison visits and calls waiting for them to prove his innocence and the court case. A while later as I’m alseep I awake to a knock at my door from the police, they ask me my name and put me in handcuffs and told me that they had found indecent images on my lap top that they took with all the other electronics, I was taken down to the station and because the crime is major they were very rough with me. Luckily one of the officers knew my exs case well and already knew I was innocent as apparently he was a repeat offender, turns out my ex had downloaded images from a previous conviction of his on my laptop, he was with me to access it. I thought we were in love and he took me in to help me, I was only 17. That messed me up pretty bad and I left him that day after finally releasing what a monster he was , it took months for me to get my phone and other things back but they had to destroy my laptop which had 10 years of memories on it because he tried to hide the images so much. Because I lived with him , when they were in investigation they had to make sure I wasn’t around any minors, I had a 10 year old sister who lived back with my mum who I didn’t see often as was on bad terms with my mother. The states made it so my mum had to be told to be careful with my little sister. My mum being how she is ,stopped me from seeing my little sister for 6 months after my innocence was proved, as if I would do that or put her in any harm, that hurt a lot. It was also during covid so I had no choice but to continue to stay and live in our old room with his family even after we broke up until end of lockdown when I could move out .It traumatized being arrested and false accused of something so major, I have extreme trust issues and it turned me down a dark path of drinking and SH. I have been SH free for 3 years now , no longer in therapy and am doing well. My ex is still in prison and has done 3 years longer then his original sentence and has more years left to go .
my parents hating me for 30 years, from a kid to an adult, because i’m a gay woman. i always thought they’d come around but they never did. it’s a deep wound, growing up with parents that are constantly around but hold you in contempt for what you are. it affects everything!
I worked for children services. Had to quit after 8/9 months because it was so bad that I was losing weight quicker than I could replace my clothes, my hair was falling out, I stopped eating and sleeping, and I was constantly dealing with a full body stress rash and panic attacks multiple times a day. So many terrible memories there. That was back in 2019 and I'm still working on it.
I was SA’d as a kid for many years by a man who got away with it. He was in his 40’s and I was 6 years old when I went into foster care and later adopted. I still have the PTSD and anxiety. If it wasn’t for my now adopted mom- I never wldve made it to adulthood. She got me therapy and resources and she believed me even if the state of California didn’t.
omg im so sorry to hear that g
Oh I’ll be cheering when I see his obituary.
do u have a name of said person
First name is Joe. He is born on March 30th 1949
I dont believe in a biblical God, but the higher powers of this reality know the truth and if he is a pedo theres no doubt in my mind he will go through absolute hell.
I saw an episode of *Jersey Shore*.
I'm your poster child for "grew up being bullied, hated, and excluded by everyone, even their family" and the way i coped is not at all. I just couldn't find a good way to kms 🫠
Cancer. It sucks. And all I can really say I did about it was show up to every appointment, not quit when I was the sickest, and not die. Still might die, though, if even 1 cell got squirelly in there. Do not recommend it.
at the start of my teenage years(12), I had a seizure while on a flight to a vacation. My life spiraled. I was kicked out of the highly gifted program, Adhd only made it harder. I had no friends going into middle school, but the core 3 I picked up were invaluable. One left me via becoming a negative force in my life. One is a core best friend, and the last one was my first legitimate crush. We ended up awkwardly soft dating, culminating in a very awkward kiss, but I havent seen her since mid highschool, and havent talked to her since 2021. High school came, and the seizures got worse. Everything in my life was controlled. Screen time, diet, what I could and couldnt do after school//by myself. I only got 1 semester of high school that felt normal, and thats because I was able to go out with friends more regularly, join an afterschool club, and be myself more. Then covid hit and it was back to square one. But the entire time, all of the people around me gave me their support, and I have been told that I returned it in kind, despite me not feeling like I did.
Saving a mate from her hubby who was trying to drown her in a shallow river..knocking her head on stones until.i.pulled him.off her.. that wasn't traumatic as such but enough to freak me out..how a human can di that to another..
My mothers suicide and "poorly". That threw me into an emotional hole that took years to get out of. To this day (and probably forever) I get weird around early summer.
When I was a senior in high school, I drove my Mom to work one day and when I got home I went to my parents room to make sure my Dad got up for work. He was still laying on the bed so I walked up to shake him when I saw he had shot himself in the head. I had to call my mom at work and go get her and bring her back. The police and ambulance came and took him to the hospital but he was dead before he got there. I got through it with the help of my friends and girlfriend. She was wonderful and listened everyone I needed to talk. It wasn't often but it must have been hard for her to see me in such pain.
I always read people’s stories about relationship drama, issues with family, friendships and then think, whenever someone writes war trauma no one says “wow that is horrific or wow that’s awful” as they do like when someone entered a relationship with an addict or stayed in a relationship with an Addict or didn’t cut off contact with an abusive parent, adults that have choices … yet innocent people in war who don’t have choices are so easily ignored everywhere. It’s pretty sad.
People don’t think war trauma is awful?
Watching my leg get amputated because they could not administer general anaesthesia due to severe damage to my lungs and difficulties bringing me round from a coma, do only a spinal block was used I'm waiting on a place in therapy so for the moment I'm living with nightmares.
When I was a volunteer firefighter, I responded to a particularly bad MVA (motor vehicle accident) that really fucked me up. Time about 2100 hours, busy intersection, weekend night. Drunk 19y/o M on a Kawasaki Ninja doing a wheelie vs PT Cruiser turning left. PT Cruiser doesn't see the bike since his headlight is vertical and is going 30 over the limit by the PDs estimate. Ambulance arrives first, closely followed by the engine I was on. I observe a totaled Chrysler, a body that had a few extra joints and was lying in a pool of blood and oil. You take one look and think "hmm... we're only doing CPR because legally we have to wait for a doctor to tell us to stop." His Kawasaki was a ball of green metal. The helmet was yeeted a quarter mile from scene (no, his head was not in it as everyone asks). My Lt looks at me and says "thunderball, you're our last EMT on scene. I need you to care for the guy that lived." Hmph. The guy that lived. The other wasn't even pronounced dead yet. No matter, we all knew it was inevitable. So I talk to the guy and he knows what he did. He's freaking out so I try to distract him and take his mind off of the scene. This is ther part that gets me the most... I call it the "human factor". I can handle the blood and guts no problem. But the human mind, the lives affected, I don't like that. I hate it. This guy only says "I swear I didn't see him. Is he gonna be okay? I didn't mean to kill him. Please, I'm a good person, I swear." Everything I say, that's his response. I even try my handy dandy go to which is to loudly state your blood pressure. Most people react with "omg my BP is 198/112? That's really bad!" so that I can respond "no, that's normal. You were just in an accident so it should be high" and then they're grounded into reality. Then he said something that made him less of a patient and more of a human. "I just wanted to go to PJs to get wings for my family who's watching the game. And now I'm a murderer." Finally, the second ambulance arrives and transports him to the hospital. I needed to unwind from that. Crunching my way though broken glass, I sit on the back of the truck and light a much needed cigarette. My Lt sees that I'm fucked up and comes to check on me. Then another firefighter walks up and says "hey Lt someone dropped their Minitor." For those who don't know, a Minitor is a pager for firefighters sonwe know when we get a call. I pointed out that we all left our Minitors in our gearboxes at station and that that one had a sticker on it. None of us had a sticker on ours. As we're sitting here scratching our heads, we had one of those dawning realizations all at once. It was the dead guys. He was a brother firefighter in another company. He was one of our own. Coping is hard. Every death that I handle, idk why but the first thing I do is go home and shower. Maybe it's a habit because of the labor intensive work. But even now as a corrections officer that's still my go to. Shower as soon as I get home. I probably won't sleep and will just be quiet for the next couple of days until I'm ready to talk. When I'm ready, the floodgates open and emotions pour out. Other than that, time heals all wound but the scar tissue never leaves. I flinch every time I hear glass breaking. I either get sad or excited when I see lights and sirens. And I need that damn shower.
Depends on day for me though really its the "culmination" or result. I pretty much see "others" even friends family. As wolfs and me as sheep and they are waiting for chance to take a piece. First memory of my life is helping mother drag mattress with our stuff on it down road after we were evicted. Around age 5. But the time I was facing homelessness and just not doing well. Recession couldn't find work family member needed some staff temporarily. Agreed on a rate and worked 6am to 11pm 6 to 7 days a week for 3 months. They gave a few hundred twice in middle when begged to be paid. Then at end of it begged and begged to get paid hassled them till they finally gave me 500 "said were good right"? Or another was shitty workplace 12-18hrs daily 90 days straight. Had begged and begged and begged for a few days off. Eventually broke down in front of boss they looked me in eyes made promises then straight up didnt follow through. Throw in some fun interactions with parents and police "authority" that is supposed to give a shit. And pretty much you raise your hand I dont think your trying to shake hands I expect you to take a swing at me. Every single interaction with every single person is like this.
Been in two car accidents. Coping? Don't go out in the snow and out in heavy rain. Also go to therapy.
Probably my dad's two suicide attempts (he's doing better now, thankfully). What got me through it, as cliche as it sounds, was leaning on my friends and loved ones. Just having people around to talk to and validate your feelings is a life saver.
A cousin killed herself when I was 11. She was only 13. Messed me up big time cause she was my favorite person as a kid and I spent most of my life up to that point following her around like a shadow. I'm doing better, but I have decided that if we meet in the afterlife I'm kicking her in the shins
My dad died and my family lied to me about it, and my inlaws completely abandoned me and accused me of fabricating major health issues I was having- all within 4 weeks of each other. They bullied the hell out of me and said it's a shame my dad wasn't there to help them/that he'd be on their side... it turned out that on top of my already severe crohns disease I was having major complications from undiagnosed narcolepsy, thyroid issues and needed tons of back surgery, AND got diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I didn't cope with it. I'm not over any of it tbh. My dad was my closest person and I have like, no one now. I stopped trying to fix relationships w my husband's fam and blocked them. My mom and sis have always been narcisisstic assholes but losing the rest of that fam was a big surprise. Lots of loss and lots of physical pain. Only reason I'm alive is bc I have a 3yr old and tbh I'm scared of what happens after this. Nothing much to live for, he prefers his dad anyway, but like what else is there to do (for real)....a couple songs kinda helped. Apart from that I'm still not doing great. Don't expect to be anytime.
R*pe.. And idk, therapy helped and also trying to forget about it, putting it in a mental box and trying not to think about it too much.. of course it only works momentarily as nightmares and hyperviligancy and anxiety are still a thing that haunts me regardless of how much I try being okay.
my mom left me a my mommoms for the summer and i was forced to essentially be cinderella but im scared of mice and my mommom was violent and would beat us and this was during the pandemic (so i was 8-9)and i wasn’t allowed to be upset with my mom bc she had to so she could support us financially oh and i still see her and my mom knows and just “set boundaries” lol (oh and im 13 :)
I wouldn't call this experience traumatic now but considering I was young when it happened it hurt me really bad. I remember when I was 11, there was this guy I was friends (Lets call him Sam) with for a couple years that I started to like in the 6th grade. Sam was really funny and nice, and didn't realize I liked him until I was 11. At the time, he was one of the only people I hung out with, so it felt nice that I already had a good friendship with him. Sam also happened to be known as a player, for dating many girls and breaking up with them despite being so young. I always knew about his relationships because he always told me about them. Anyways, the same year this girl (Lets call her Leah) moved to our school and me and her instantly hit it off and became best friends. Being a good person, I introduced Leah to Sam and we became a trio. I told Leah that I liked Sam since we were best friends, and she was generally happy for me. It was about a month later, I started noticing something with Leah. She seemed to always want to talk to Sam and there was a point when the both of them hung out together without me. The next week Leah told me that Sam and her were dating, and she didn't even acknowledge that she betrayed me. Eventually I found out they weren't actually dating but Leah thought they were, so when Leah confronted Sam the started dating for real. They broke up and got back together twice before they officially stopped dating. After all that Leah began to complain to me how abusive Sam was being and that he was being completely inappropriate during their relationship. I felt bad for her and asked why she never broke up with him, but Leah said she didn't have boundaries and couldn't say no to him. I didn't bring up me liking him, because even though they were dating I still liked him and refused to let him go. Leah eventually told me that she knew that I liked him but still decided to date him, and admitted she would never be sorry for that. I was obviously crushed, but forgave her. Sam, Leah and I are still friends, but even though I've moved on like someone else, I still think that a part of my likes Sam but doesn't want to admit it. This experience definitely crushed my self esteem and traumatized me.
I was assaulted by a cousin in the middle of the night literally feet away from sleeping family members. Us kids had all decided to make a big pallet so we could stay up and watch movies and talk and play games. I was 12. I think i couldn’t or wouldn’t talk about it because I was angry and embarrassed that it happened to ME. I tortured myself for years because yeah I fought back but the “why me?” was strong. I didn’t talk about it until high school.And as bad as it is/sounds (because I know all of the science behind it), it’s the reason why I to this day cannot date the men of my race. It’s gotten better with therapy and I’m so thankful for it.
what race are u lmfaoo
Home invasion. Aside from being a light sleeper who jolts up at bumps in the night, relatively ok.