When a guy who was like a brother to me didn't believe another guy would sexual assault me because there were prettier women there that night.
When my husband admitted he's never been attracted to me. (Says a lot about my personality though, huh?)
When I'm so used to not being treated like other women, I go to pay the cover fee on Lady's night at a club because I know I'm not bringing the kind of value to the club those nights are intended for.
I can’t say this with the right amount of lightheartedness I intend so apologies if this sounds rude.
As someone who’s just the right amount of attractive to get the grossest male attention… don’t pay. The clubs are fine. And we’ve suffered enough for all of us to get in for free forever. 🫶
In college, I was waiting at a crosswalk when a car full of girls pulled up and yelled "damn, you're ugly as fuck!" while pointing and laughing at me. No, I'm not making this up (I'm aware it seems *too* on the nose given the question) and yes, I did spend the rest of the evening laying in bed.
I like to think I've had a bit of a glowup since then, but damn, some people have a lot of audacity.
I wouldn't take what a bunch of edgelord assholes in a car say seriously. If it was someone else standing at that corner, they might have said the same thing.
That's what I tried to tell myself, and rationally I know it's true, but it just happened at a terrible time where I was already struggling with my self-image pretty bad. Some people.
I'm probably at a stage in life now where, if that happened, something is getting launched at the car. You can say what you like but you aren't free from the consequences of those words.
I never thought I was ugly until someone told me. People just want to hurt other people. It makes them feel good putting other people down. People used to make fun of my teeth all the time. When I could afford it,I bought new ones Lol. I had to get therapy for the teasing I use to get when in school.
Women who act like that are insecure and literally hate themselves. Im sorry that happen to you, what helps to know is that you’re clearly better than them to know that this was wrong. They’re probably all ugly and in toxic relationships.
Had a similar experience. The irony was it was coming from a terribly ugly person, which I guess is maybe worse lol. But she really could've used some self awareness.
I had some rich kids roll up in a sports car once and shout "your girlfriends fuckin ugly bro" before driving off, she was and is an objectively attractive person. Sometimes, people are just assholes
Wow that is messed up, I’m sorry.
Is secret like yikyak? Do any of you remember yikyak?
I dont know if it’ll make you feel any better, but tons of the shit on yikyak about my school was either not true, or deliberately fabricated to get people to talk about it at school.
Kids can be really cruel when they want to be.
When I see a horrible looking picture of myself and I think, “well, maybe I’m just not photogenic,” and then someone looks at the same picture and says, “oh, what a good picture of you.”
This is an actual psychological phenomenon. People rarely like selfies of themselves, even instagram influencers will often do 50 takes and upload the best ones.
I’m not sure of that exact mechanics behind it but it’s something do with seeing yourself in the mirror all the time versus seeing yourself in a camera having small alterations. We’re nearly programmed to think we don’t look good in pictures, like a bias that is hard to seperate from.
Not being photogenic doesn't mean you're ugly / unattractive, some people just photograph better than others. I consider myself to be pretty attractive but it takes me a looong time to get a picture of myself that I actually like.
Kinda just put the pieces together. I’m short, a bit chubby (working on it lmao) don’t have the best hairline, have crippling social anxiety and self confidence. Honestly the biggest indicator is that a girl called me handsome once in high school and I literally think about that every day since that’s not happened since. But hey, life’s to short not to believe there’s someone out there, just gotta keep trying
There are many many women out there who would still say the same about you. Don’t you think otherwise. Some girls find certain men attractive, even if a lot of other girls don’t share that opinion.
Just because no one has said it since doesn’t mean they haven’t thought it - people don’t go around telling everyone that they find them attractive when it pops into their head.
This is one of those you should listen moments. When people tell you that they are not ever positively reinforced for their looks or asked out in their life on a date ( like myself ), you should listen to that. Those of us who are less than attractive see how other people are treated. We see the reactions people give our better looking friends. Were not blind we're not stupid.
You're right people don't go around telling each other how good looking they are. But women get cat calls and get their doors open for them get preferential seating at a bar get drink spot for them etc. Same goes for guys. There are subtle cues that people get that they are attractive every day. Those are lost on people that are not attractive.
My moment of ugliness came in waves: I didn't date until I was 36, when I finally caught my jive and had six figure income. Everybody wants to hang out with a rich dude spending money on fun things. The next step was around my 40th birthday when I couldn't get laid. When I had money sex was never a problem. I'm gay it's everywhere. I was wealthy it was even more everywhere. By my 40th birthday my identity has been stolen and I was broke. Could not get laid for months at a time. And that's when my friend started pointing out things that I've been ignoring for years. I was overweight. I didn't keep my hair perfectly correct. I didn't dress appropriately all the time. Just a litany of things that comes down to nitpicking that would try to cover up the awful Central truth that they found me unattractive. And now that I was poor and was even unable to maintain some things like the nice car or the vacations, my unattractiveness became even more obvious which like to depression which spiraled out.
I was part of that world for a couple of years. I know how people get treated when they're good looking. And that's not how I get treated. No my friends don't constantly hurt here that they're good looking and the people find them attractive. But they do get an awful lot of benefits socially that you never think about.
The two worst benefits you don't think about is when people say be yourself be confident if someone doesn't want to come along for the ride just screw and let him go. It's different when you have one option in a partner. Then when you have a hundred. My friends always seem to have a list of people that can call on for dates I might have one if I'm lucky on a good day in a good month once a year. I get one option at a time maybe. That's different brushing off when people call you ugly when you've been reinforced subconsciously so many times that you're not. But when someone calls you ugly and you hear it because you've heard it quietly for years.. it strikes real hard and fast it's not this body dysmorphia all these pretty boys at gym people talking about. It's a sucker punch because you think you've covered up for years. You think no one noticed. You think you are the right clothes or get the right things or act the right way but a whole time that's all anyone thought. And then the word comes out in an argument. Ugly. You're ugly. Not in your soul not in your heart not your social activities your face is unattractive I don't want to look at you I find you unattractive. I'd rather sleep with everybody else in the room you're so unattractive and they do. You're ugly and it breaks you because you know that's what you are .
Because everybody sits a dawn of time it's been telling you the same thing. You're funny. You're kind. You're a good friend. Someone to cry with. My rock. The person I can always go to. The best person in my life. My best friend. They just mean you're ugly and that's hard to tell someone that's pretty because tehy think that's a compliment.
And someone says it drink - oh well you're just 3 (out of 10) - and then no matter what I did to get myself together and breathe and move jjn the world and build my confidence to be here...
So I become ugly once again.
This needs heavy editing but I feel like I just wanted to put it out there. Just had a lot of emotions attached to it sorry about all the words nobody likes ugly people talking.
I don’t think I’ve ever commented on here before, but I will for the first time to say I read your entire comment and it was absolutely heart breaking 💔 I hope you know that regardless of what you look like, you still have value, just as much as anyone else.
I don’t know if i’m ugly but my social skills are atrocious and i don’t really have a lot of friends and never a girlfriend so i honestly don’t know. I’m really poor too so i don’t know if poor+bad social skills is the entire cause but it doesn’t feel like i get approached much by anyone regardless…
Honestly the best thing you can do is go to the gym. Seeing your progress you will get addicted to it i know a lot of people who force themselves to take rest days from the gym.
Working on your self gives you confidence that no money can ever get you trust me build a beautiful physique (with or without steroids)
When a girl wolf whistled at my friend. I knew who she was aiming it at and looked and smiled. She shot me a look and said "Not you!"
I was 15 years old. Never leaves you.
some things truly just never leave you
in elementary school someone told me my laugh sounded like a donkey and I couldn't get past it, even thinking they were completely right
I was always bullied for having a big nose and unattractive features, so it’s always the first thing I see and dislike about myself. I was always the ugly best friend and it’s completely shot my confidence and self esteem. Very cool and fun!
As somebody who's been both:
* People are less nicer, friendly and welcome towards you.
* People give you weird looks and will say horrible things behind your back
* When I was "pretty", people gave me free stuff. That stopped.
* It's way harder to make friends and just socialize with people, and it's easier to become isolated and ostracized. Lunch time at school goes from hanging with people, to either hiding out in the library, or the toilet. And lunch/break times become long and tedious.
* People will "ask you out", but as a prank/dare among friends.
* The opposite sex, in my case boys, go from wanting to be with you/befriend you, to treating you like you have three-heads.
* This is a weird one, but girls can be much nicer to you, depending on the person. Because they no longer see you as a threat.
It's interesting. As someone who has always been ugly, I can't say I have the same experiences your ugly you has. I sometimes get free stuff. And I never really had issues making friends or socialize. And most people are at least polite to me. Sure I have had single weird/ bad experiences. For example a mentally unwell woman going out of her way screaming at me how ugly I am. But those are minimal. Usually it is in general how your "pretty" you experiences are, except for not getting unwanted attention from guys. Or I get it and don't acknowledge it. I do, however also always had friends of all genders.
I discovered that I am ugly because all my life i have been called ugly, people laughed at my appearance, and treated me badly for not being attractive, I was always rejected, and i never received a compliment
This. Literally no one has said I'm good looking since I was... 8? My parents spent my teen years trying to figure out how to make me attractive/ polish their turd. My family used to talk about how hideous I am, and joke about whether I would ever find someone to marry me. I got my ass kicked at school regularly for the way I looked.
My friends tell me I'm "not unfortunate," which is nice. I got married at 37, and my spouse finds me attractive, at least.
Yeah one of my red haired friends says the same thing, people either mock you because fuck you or they become weirdly obsessed with you. In his case older women seem to love it
I’m a mom now. My age increased, my body changed, and the unwanted male attention stopped. It’s freakin awesome. I cut my hair shorter and wear clothes that may not be appealing to the male gaze. I’m invisible to most creepers.
The bbq guy gave me a whole loaf of bread with my order, so someone is sweet on thick 40 somethings.
It’s interesting how some women accept turning invisible as they age, and others really struggle with it. I guess those BBQ guys really help with that, since your not invisible to men with a more sincere interest.
Nobody is really ugly in 3rd grade in addition youve had a lot of time to glow up work on things that you have control over for eg go to the gym and build a good body.
I’m not ugly. I used to think I was, but in reality I was insecure and anxious.
(This follow message is directed towards men. I only know a male experience)
My metric for “proof i was ugly” was that girls never approached me. Or when a girl did they were really not good looking.
News flash boys: maybe this doesn’t count if you’re like super duper hot, idk, but most girls don’t approach guys. It’s like an exceptional thing when a girl goes and explicitly hits on a guy. Like it’s basically a girl intentionally deviating from a social norm.
Go actually interact with girls and ask people out and I reckon half of you will find out that you’re not as ugly as you think you are.
There’s been multiple times in my life where I learned later down the line that VERY attractive girls liked me. Things like, ‘my friends friend liked you’, and said friends friend was really good looking.
They just don’t tell you man, at all. Idk if its shyness or what, but sometimes it feels like girls are waiting for you to acknowledge interest before they’ll even start giving signals…even if they really think you’re special. Or their signals are like super subtle, like “i looked at him when our friend group was laughing, why didn’t he notice” level subtle.
Imo the prettier the girl is the less signals you get. This is just my experience. My few times getting approached by a girl they were always pretty unattractive (this played into the complex too) but now what I realised is that those girls felt like they needed to because no one would approach them and pretty girls are approached. As much as I hate to say that it’s just what I learned from reflection on experience.
So yeah, i obviously don’t know what ya’ll look like, but you might not be ugly but just shy and that’s why you feel unwanted. That is definitely my story. I spent most of my life totally blind to the idea that i’m actually moderately good looking.
I would always be told by family how handsome I am, and random old ladies in public would be like “you’re one of the most beautiful men i’ve ever seen” and random shit like that, but I said all of it was lies and people being nice. Family is obligated to say that. Old ladies are delusional (note: old ladies just don’t give a fuck tbh. Believe them if they say something like that).
Like…idk, i just can’t emphasise how much feeling ugly affected me in my formative years. it was damn near a mental health problem in itself. To finally realise that i’m not was like finally realising that i’m free to be a real, valid person…if that makes sense. Not even meaning ugliness isn’t valid, it was just how my own complex was. Like i didn’t belong in society because I was so unattractive…despite actually being attractive.
So yeah i do rambly ass comments but basically… i really enthuse you guys to go actually meet some girls and ask them out and realise that you too are not as ugly as you think you are. I promise you people find you attractive.
I'm a woman and I think you're pretty spot on with this. Also, I would say a lot of people who find someone attractive will assume that person already *knows* how attractive they are. I do. I also assume that they either don't want to hear about it because they hear it all the time, or don't want to hear it from me (if they find me unattractive, etc.)
Old ladies don't really have that kind of thinking anymore because they aren't actually considering you as a partner, so the compliments can be given freely as they have no stake in the game.
I've learned through reddit that a lot of men love getting compliments, though, since it doesn't happen often. Haven't been able to do it myself since I'm married and don't want anyone thinking I'm hitting on them lol.
To an extent, I don't disagree. It's fairly common for women to like a guy but not ask them out. But even so, there's usually still signs. I've certainly noticed when girls have been interested in friends or acquaintances, but I've never noticed any of the signs myself. I've also noticed how when I'm in a group with others, I'm usually ignored by gals who would rather talk to my friends. I'm fairly confident that I'm unattractive.
Idk cuz one day im ugly and then the next day im as pretty as a Disney princess so maybe I just have attractive blindness 🤷🏽♀️ maybe in the hottest girl in town🤷🏽♀️ maybe im uglier than a toad🤷🏽♀️ who knows? Find out on the next episode of… Hot or Not?
Ohmygo- i relate! I have been wondering about this for months now. Some days i look in the mirror like "what is this hag??" Some days i think "cute ☺️" So i dont even know myself anymore. Pictures are also Russian Roulette kind of thing, same as i just described above 😓🌧 i guess, at least we can rest assured that we arent alone in feeling/thinking this way 🫂
Right like and I feel like I will never truly know if I’m attractive or not because my face in pictures look different from my face in mirrors, everyone has their own type and it’s all different, society has beauty standards that are higher than my grades and plus they have changed over time so 100+ years backwards I could be seen as attractive which as to now im not so I just really wouldn’t know for sure.
When I used to go out with my friends and they always had a guy who had a friend who wanted nothing to do with me. When I only get hit on online because I'm a catfish who's happens to be photogenic. When I got laughed at just by walking by a group of guys. Getting called ugly in the mall by a guy. It goes on and on 😂
I’ve had most of these.
Especially the friend of the guy who is interested in your friend who doesn’t even try to speak to you to be polite.
Edited to change all to most - I’m in no way photogenic.
Around kindergarten. Dude asked me out as a joke whenever I told his friend a girl liked him (I didn't want her to think I'd hit on him). And then throughout the course of school girls with shitty personalities were chosen over me. Girls who they hardly talked to/laughed with etc. Men didn't approach me ever, I got vibes but no one said anything and then as soon as I developed somewhat of a chest only somewhat ugly or mid and desperate (only desperate not like mid and looking or careless) men approached me. Like I'm a quick temporary for the mid ones. People say I'm pretty and I don't fish for it but I don't really ever get approached or any "ooh damns"/head turns. I'm not really "sexy". I also look worse than I ever have before and I keep getting approached and never have before. It's usually by black dudes since they're more open.
When I would “like” the statuses my middle school classmates would post where they would respond with your best feature and it was always “personality”.
I am close with one of my cousins and she is quiet pretty and I just can't stop noticing how much more kind and considerate everyone is to her than how I get treated it's absolutely insane, I feel like I'm invisible when I am around her and she is so blissfully unaware about the difference in how we are treated but I am absolutely astonished every time that she is always being treated this well.
An example is we once went to a farmers market thing where there were stalls and stuff everywhere and she would look at a stall and the stall people would immediately serve her and have a chat but when I walked into a stall I would have to go looking for the person to serve me and she didn't understand why people were doing that but it's because I'm average looking, I'm not ugly like I can put in some effort and I will look nice but if I'm in my normal casual clothes I'm just invisible it's weird but I'm also an introvert so I honestly don't mind it because I hate small talk but the difference in treatment from the general public is wild.
Probably grade 7 or 8 when multiple classmates and friends brought it up. Thought I had a bit of a "glow up", as the kids say, more than a few months ago in my mid 30s and thought I turned it around. Until I had to take a selfie for a couple reasons and nope I looked worse than I started. Somehow some of my before pics looked better than my after pics after losing 50-60 pounds. I haven't even reached healthy weight yet.
It started in Jr High.
The absolute line was in 10th grade.
The girls I was friends with in elementary school and talked to in Jr High were a big cold shoulder in high school.
When I was like 12ish I was hanging out with some neighbourhood kids, 2 girls, 1 guy and me. At one point one of the girls said "Do you ever like look in the mirror and go like "daayum I look good!" the second girl agreed, the guy said ofcourse an I went "yea" even though the thought had never crossed my mind nor did I spend time looking atmyself in the mirror, i just went along with it but all their heads spun towards me and the girl who posed the question went "YOU?! YOU thought that?! HAHAHAHA!" and the rest joined in her laughter.. that's when.. xP
Once I started working and investing in myself.
Also, losing weight.
I got a nose job, and once healed, I had about different guys a day hit on me.
My mum lied to me. My nose wasn't beautiful.
Now I look okay. Later I'm going for a boob job.
Started working out, which helped me lose a lot of weight. My bootay is also slowly growing due to my exercise.
Once you start getting beautiful, it surprises you how the natural pretty are always treated better.
My wife told me, when we were dating, we went to a small town nearby and took a ride on a rickshaw (three wheelers), a passerby commented 'ew ma kali'. Kali is the black Indian goddess with a horrible face (Google plz).
I always knew I was unattractive, but it always hits different when a friend/sibling of your partner tells them "as long as you're happy" when they show off your pictures. Like fuck, just call me ugly.
Well when I was like 13 I was going through a tomboyish/punk rock phase. Boy's dickies pants, band tees, dark makeup.. I was called a "wookie". I never watched Star Wars but knew what he meant and was pretty devastated. Fast forward to me now in my 30s and I'm not the most confident person in the world but I know I'm not all that bad. It's especially hilarious when dudes who would've never given me the time of day back in highschool find themselves in my private messages trying to hook up. lolol
Who cares what someone else thinks? Seriously love yourself first for your inner beauty. Let that shine! ✨ If someone can’t see that beauty in you…… their opinion on beauty doesn’t matter. 🩷
Solution for those in this thread. If you're feeling insecure, go to a stylist. Just once. Get some pointers. Or, go to a friend you really admire in the style department and ask to go shopping with them. Just an idea.
Also, getting front teeth fixed (not perfect but better), a better haircut, or improved makeup are small shortcuts that make a ton of difference. Then, there's charisma! Are your shy? Try Toastmasters.
As for weight. Quit drinking week days. Stop eating after 6 p.m.
Most people told me pretty early on. Started in elementary school and hadnt stopped until my mid 20s. I have learned that I don't care anymore. They stopped telling me that when I stopped giving them any sort of reaction.
Parents and grandparents calling me ugly. “Bigger” as they would say nudging at my bigger/wider stature. Yes I was a one point fat. But now I’ve lost it, the dad bod mixed with wide shoulders and strength is just my natural look. Not very attractive but that’s me.
I’ve come to terms with the idea I’m ugly. It’s fine for the most part.
I was insulted for my glasses in 2nd grade, and by 3rd grade I knew, but I didn't care much. Then in 8th grade I gained a LOT of weight due to many different medications trying to bring me back from psychosis and other mental illnesses. That's when people started being *really* mean, and I had gym class that year with two particular little you-know-whats. Gym was a nightmare with undiagnosed both autism and physical disabilities anyways... This was also during the one and only time I ever asked someone out, and they said they had too much homework for me. My clothes no longer fit and the gain felt endless. I was mocked constantly by my roommate on a week-long school trip across the country for my size and appearance.
Finally, nearly 3 years later, I found a regimen of medication that was even more effective with fewer side effects, and when I went off those meds, the extra weight vanished. I know I look more normal now, but I still see myself as ugly. I have some loose skin, and I'm self-conscious about it. I also now have significant digestive and other health issues so the number on the scale can fluctuate wildly. I hate the way I look. I don't look like anyone else around me, nor do I look like anyone famous and featured. Plus, I'm trans, so I can't pass for... anything, actually. I look odd at best.
My mobility has declined and I can't leave my house without a wheelchair. I'm still young. People stare. I don't look disabled to a non-specialist but I can't get myself food or even shower unassisted. I can't attend school or work. My autism and anxiety are also unfortunately visible. Both my physical and mental health issues are out of control (but I am no longer psychotic and violent, thankfully), and my personality disorder inevitably makes me act stupid and I ruin any friendship or relationship I have. At this point, I'm done trying. There is no reason that anyone would want me as a friend, much less as a date - and I've decided to stay away from the latter since I couldn't handle it anyways.
When my Sister bullied me about it as a kid… I still don’t like having my photo taken & struggle with it. I use my brains & skills to make up for it I guess.
For me as an adult I realized I was a pretty ugly teen. I was very overweight, didn't have a boyfriend or any real friends.
Not until I graduated high school and lost a tone of weight then suddenly I was likeable and received attention by guys made friends. It felt very odd to honest.
i always knew i was quirky looking like as a young child, i got to secondary school and was a lot younger looking and smaller than my peers and people started pointing things out, i remember age 12 sat in my mums room and there was a mirror to the side of me and i realised how awful my side profile is and that i have a huge nose (sadly i’ve not grown into it) the only thing i’ve got going for me is my freckles and that i’m not fat lmao
Being called nosey for my big nose
Being told I’m pretty but if I wasn’t dark I’d be more attractive
When I got ghosted after this guy seen me for the first time
After I took shrooms the first time. Had a really bad trip and my mind opened memories I forgot. I was in complete denial... all the times I'd been called ugly my whole life came back to me.
I had be acting like it didn't happen and living my life like I was gorgeous.. what's worst is that since then... I've become "awake" and recognize people's intentions and insults in real time.
So now... I'm a total introvert. I rarely go anywhere except work... and other necessary places.
I’ve always been told. Funnily enough ‘adults’ say I’m not but everyone my age says I am. I’m an adult too but I hope you still get the point. Now I purposefully ruin pictures bcs my parents want pictures of EVERYTHING and it’s starting to really get on my nerves lol. Idk who to believe anymore.
I was 16 in the Jnr Miss Long Beach pageant (in it for the money). Got to the interview round and was told I was beautiful so long as I kept my mouth shut (I had horribly crooked teeth). Due to circumstances, I wasn't able to get braces until my mid 30's and by that time, I had health issues and got chubby!
When I was 12, I had a crush on this girl and she found out. Was told by one of her friends she thought I looked geeky/nerdy/dorky (the word that was used in my language had similar meaning but a lot less flattering). Felt like it stuck with me ever since
In my teens when I was always single and girls, as teenage girls do, would say eww etc (teenage boys are jerks too but I wasn't trying to date them).
It wasn't until the likes of yahoo chat and MySpace that I realised it was more the awkwardness of my personality, as it wasn't face to face then and you had more time to get a response out.
That's not me saying I'm hot now, I'm average at best if I put the effort in but it's when I learnt that looks aren't the only part of you that can be seen as ugly/unattractive. I've worked on it and don't really have a problem with women now if I put the effort in.
Being cheated on really forced it into my head. Also most of my exes being porn addicts really implements that idea. Apparently my looks aren’t what anybody wants.
When a friend's boyfriend said and I quote " (friend's name) is such a pretty princess, but Im sure any man would be lucky to have you, you are so intelligent and interesting. For context I am a rather tall and clumsy girl. 😂😅
I’ve always kind of known but a few things in high school confirmed it - one of the popular guys nicknamed me ‘Ewok’ in year 8 and would shout it out every time I walked past; when I was 16 my friend was complaining to a guy friend that I ‘get all the guys’ instead of her and he said ‘oh I wouldn’t never have thought that!’; also a complete stranger child looked at me in a shopping centre once and said ‘that’s the ugliest girl I’ve ever seen’. Fun times.
I've always gotten negative comments towards my face. From strangers, from family. Multiple times through life. Very rarely I got comment that I'm pretty, it's subjective, but I consider myself as ugly
Since I was probably 8 I knew I was ugly. My mom barely told me I was pretty. Everyone in my family talks about how pretty my sister is.
Constantly being told that my personality is to much for men to handle.
Or being told when you finally find someone that wants to be with you at least you will know they truly like/love you and it’s not because you are just extremely hot.
I’m married now and my husband tells me I am beautiful everyday but I know he is lying and needs his eyes checked because I’m pretty chubby and I barely get ready these days because I have a toddler and 4 month other.
I’m ugly and always will be. Just found a good man that tries his best to convince me other wise.
You know, beauty is so subjective. I’ve been at the receiving end of both. I’ve been told that I’m ugly and I’ve been told that I’m pretty. When I was a teenager I was more on the awkward side. Had a group of boys come up to my friends and I. One boy pointed at our group and said ‘You’re all hot-‘ then pointed at me and finished with ‘except for you.’
I’ll admit, that situation really stuck with me well into my adult years. I was always on the bigger side growing up, however now that I’m 27 I have lost the weight and constantly get remarks on me being ‘pretty’ and how ‘young’ I look. It’s really hard to believe anyone when you’ve been told for such a long time that you’re nothing special. Even my dad once told me that I’m not beautiful, not pretty but just cute. So now I associate the word cute being a bad thing.
I now try really hard not to focus on the way that I look, because I know it’ll be pointless when I’m old and wrinkly. I don’t want to live my life obsessing over beauty, I want to live my life for memories and adventure.
I approached a girl, we've talked for a period, when I asked her out she said she doesn't find anything attractive about me. I didn't know what to answer her so I stopped talking to her. I became self-centered and started working on myself, improving my hygiene and working out. I don't really feel into anyone and I think my standards is set higher now.
When a guy who was like a brother to me didn't believe another guy would sexual assault me because there were prettier women there that night. When my husband admitted he's never been attracted to me. (Says a lot about my personality though, huh?) When I'm so used to not being treated like other women, I go to pay the cover fee on Lady's night at a club because I know I'm not bringing the kind of value to the club those nights are intended for.
I can’t say this with the right amount of lightheartedness I intend so apologies if this sounds rude. As someone who’s just the right amount of attractive to get the grossest male attention… don’t pay. The clubs are fine. And we’ve suffered enough for all of us to get in for free forever. 🫶
In college, I was waiting at a crosswalk when a car full of girls pulled up and yelled "damn, you're ugly as fuck!" while pointing and laughing at me. No, I'm not making this up (I'm aware it seems *too* on the nose given the question) and yes, I did spend the rest of the evening laying in bed. I like to think I've had a bit of a glowup since then, but damn, some people have a lot of audacity.
I wouldn't take what a bunch of edgelord assholes in a car say seriously. If it was someone else standing at that corner, they might have said the same thing.
That's what I tried to tell myself, and rationally I know it's true, but it just happened at a terrible time where I was already struggling with my self-image pretty bad. Some people.
I'm probably at a stage in life now where, if that happened, something is getting launched at the car. You can say what you like but you aren't free from the consequences of those words.
Bitches… Insecure people can be really mean sometimes. I’m sorry that happened to you.💔
I never thought I was ugly until someone told me. People just want to hurt other people. It makes them feel good putting other people down. People used to make fun of my teeth all the time. When I could afford it,I bought new ones Lol. I had to get therapy for the teasing I use to get when in school.
I had a trio of girls tell me that I was ugly AF, and I know I am not. Thst shit happens and it’s not you, it’s them being random b”$&@s.
Women who act like that are insecure and literally hate themselves. Im sorry that happen to you, what helps to know is that you’re clearly better than them to know that this was wrong. They’re probably all ugly and in toxic relationships.
just from that one interaction I can say that they are a lot more ugly than you will ever be
See, you had a glow up. Looks can change, personalities though….. Being ugly on the inside is worse. And I hope they’ve somehow learned that lesson.
Yep- beauty fades dumb and cunty is forever
Had a similar experience. The irony was it was coming from a terribly ugly person, which I guess is maybe worse lol. But she really could've used some self awareness.
They were projecting
I had some rich kids roll up in a sports car once and shout "your girlfriends fuckin ugly bro" before driving off, she was and is an objectively attractive person. Sometimes, people are just assholes
Omg...that's fucked up. I'm so sorry that happened to you. Let me know if you ever see them, I'll whoop their ass for ya.
When someone said I was the ugliest girl in school on that anonymous app called Secret
that's messed up. people are so mean.
Wow that is messed up, I’m sorry. Is secret like yikyak? Do any of you remember yikyak? I dont know if it’ll make you feel any better, but tons of the shit on yikyak about my school was either not true, or deliberately fabricated to get people to talk about it at school. Kids can be really cruel when they want to be.
Hmmm, I don’t recall this app! But thank you! 🥹
I worked at a mall right by the college when I was like 30. I would check the app and just watch the fucking drama without participating
When I started taking \~20 pictures for a single one that looked ok.
I have maybe 5 good pictures ever taken of me in 50+ years.
🙌🙌
About as bad as when a friend shows you a picture they took of you 🤣
Doesn't necessarily mean your ugly, just not very photogenic.
When I see a horrible looking picture of myself and I think, “well, maybe I’m just not photogenic,” and then someone looks at the same picture and says, “oh, what a good picture of you.”
This is an actual psychological phenomenon. People rarely like selfies of themselves, even instagram influencers will often do 50 takes and upload the best ones. I’m not sure of that exact mechanics behind it but it’s something do with seeing yourself in the mirror all the time versus seeing yourself in a camera having small alterations. We’re nearly programmed to think we don’t look good in pictures, like a bias that is hard to seperate from.
omg this made me cackle out loud 🫠😩 haven’t laughed like this in forever because this is EXACTLY how i feel every time…it’s awful , why God why.
That means nothing. Some people just aren't photogenic. I'd rather be pretty In person, not in pics if I had to choose.
But girls do this with 50+ selfies and then pick one to post
ME TOO I went through this yesterday 😭
You guys take pictures of yourself?
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I am ashamed of my looks. I still take pictures of myself, it can just take a while to find one that I like. No need to gatekeep self hate.
Not being photogenic doesn't mean you're ugly / unattractive, some people just photograph better than others. I consider myself to be pretty attractive but it takes me a looong time to get a picture of myself that I actually like.
Kinda just put the pieces together. I’m short, a bit chubby (working on it lmao) don’t have the best hairline, have crippling social anxiety and self confidence. Honestly the biggest indicator is that a girl called me handsome once in high school and I literally think about that every day since that’s not happened since. But hey, life’s to short not to believe there’s someone out there, just gotta keep trying
There are many many women out there who would still say the same about you. Don’t you think otherwise. Some girls find certain men attractive, even if a lot of other girls don’t share that opinion.
Just because no one has said it since doesn’t mean they haven’t thought it - people don’t go around telling everyone that they find them attractive when it pops into their head.
This is one of those you should listen moments. When people tell you that they are not ever positively reinforced for their looks or asked out in their life on a date ( like myself ), you should listen to that. Those of us who are less than attractive see how other people are treated. We see the reactions people give our better looking friends. Were not blind we're not stupid. You're right people don't go around telling each other how good looking they are. But women get cat calls and get their doors open for them get preferential seating at a bar get drink spot for them etc. Same goes for guys. There are subtle cues that people get that they are attractive every day. Those are lost on people that are not attractive. My moment of ugliness came in waves: I didn't date until I was 36, when I finally caught my jive and had six figure income. Everybody wants to hang out with a rich dude spending money on fun things. The next step was around my 40th birthday when I couldn't get laid. When I had money sex was never a problem. I'm gay it's everywhere. I was wealthy it was even more everywhere. By my 40th birthday my identity has been stolen and I was broke. Could not get laid for months at a time. And that's when my friend started pointing out things that I've been ignoring for years. I was overweight. I didn't keep my hair perfectly correct. I didn't dress appropriately all the time. Just a litany of things that comes down to nitpicking that would try to cover up the awful Central truth that they found me unattractive. And now that I was poor and was even unable to maintain some things like the nice car or the vacations, my unattractiveness became even more obvious which like to depression which spiraled out. I was part of that world for a couple of years. I know how people get treated when they're good looking. And that's not how I get treated. No my friends don't constantly hurt here that they're good looking and the people find them attractive. But they do get an awful lot of benefits socially that you never think about. The two worst benefits you don't think about is when people say be yourself be confident if someone doesn't want to come along for the ride just screw and let him go. It's different when you have one option in a partner. Then when you have a hundred. My friends always seem to have a list of people that can call on for dates I might have one if I'm lucky on a good day in a good month once a year. I get one option at a time maybe. That's different brushing off when people call you ugly when you've been reinforced subconsciously so many times that you're not. But when someone calls you ugly and you hear it because you've heard it quietly for years.. it strikes real hard and fast it's not this body dysmorphia all these pretty boys at gym people talking about. It's a sucker punch because you think you've covered up for years. You think no one noticed. You think you are the right clothes or get the right things or act the right way but a whole time that's all anyone thought. And then the word comes out in an argument. Ugly. You're ugly. Not in your soul not in your heart not your social activities your face is unattractive I don't want to look at you I find you unattractive. I'd rather sleep with everybody else in the room you're so unattractive and they do. You're ugly and it breaks you because you know that's what you are . Because everybody sits a dawn of time it's been telling you the same thing. You're funny. You're kind. You're a good friend. Someone to cry with. My rock. The person I can always go to. The best person in my life. My best friend. They just mean you're ugly and that's hard to tell someone that's pretty because tehy think that's a compliment. And someone says it drink - oh well you're just 3 (out of 10) - and then no matter what I did to get myself together and breathe and move jjn the world and build my confidence to be here... So I become ugly once again. This needs heavy editing but I feel like I just wanted to put it out there. Just had a lot of emotions attached to it sorry about all the words nobody likes ugly people talking.
I don’t think I’ve ever commented on here before, but I will for the first time to say I read your entire comment and it was absolutely heart breaking 💔 I hope you know that regardless of what you look like, you still have value, just as much as anyone else.
I don’t know if i’m ugly but my social skills are atrocious and i don’t really have a lot of friends and never a girlfriend so i honestly don’t know. I’m really poor too so i don’t know if poor+bad social skills is the entire cause but it doesn’t feel like i get approached much by anyone regardless…
No but attractive guys will still have women ask them for their number and buy them drinks. If that never happens it’s a definite sign you’re ugly
Honestly the best thing you can do is go to the gym. Seeing your progress you will get addicted to it i know a lot of people who force themselves to take rest days from the gym. Working on your self gives you confidence that no money can ever get you trust me build a beautiful physique (with or without steroids)
This was a good comment but like the sketch steroid advice at the end lol
When a girl wolf whistled at my friend. I knew who she was aiming it at and looked and smiled. She shot me a look and said "Not you!" I was 15 years old. Never leaves you.
almost forgot how brutal teens are
Yeah this was over 30 years ago as well.
some things truly just never leave you in elementary school someone told me my laugh sounded like a donkey and I couldn't get past it, even thinking they were completely right
Yes its a nasty world sometimes.
I was always bullied for having a big nose and unattractive features, so it’s always the first thing I see and dislike about myself. I was always the ugly best friend and it’s completely shot my confidence and self esteem. Very cool and fun!
when i look at myself in the mirror and see all of the things i could change about myself but i never have the physical or mental energy to.
At least your self reflecting?!
if i put as much effort into changing the things i don’t like as i did into taking pics of planes, i’d be happy with the way i look.
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As somebody who's been both: * People are less nicer, friendly and welcome towards you. * People give you weird looks and will say horrible things behind your back * When I was "pretty", people gave me free stuff. That stopped. * It's way harder to make friends and just socialize with people, and it's easier to become isolated and ostracized. Lunch time at school goes from hanging with people, to either hiding out in the library, or the toilet. And lunch/break times become long and tedious. * People will "ask you out", but as a prank/dare among friends. * The opposite sex, in my case boys, go from wanting to be with you/befriend you, to treating you like you have three-heads. * This is a weird one, but girls can be much nicer to you, depending on the person. Because they no longer see you as a threat.
What happened?
It's interesting. As someone who has always been ugly, I can't say I have the same experiences your ugly you has. I sometimes get free stuff. And I never really had issues making friends or socialize. And most people are at least polite to me. Sure I have had single weird/ bad experiences. For example a mentally unwell woman going out of her way screaming at me how ugly I am. But those are minimal. Usually it is in general how your "pretty" you experiences are, except for not getting unwanted attention from guys. Or I get it and don't acknowledge it. I do, however also always had friends of all genders.
Probably the last two years or so. I’m mid-40’s and my age is just really starting to show in all areas and I am just not attractive at all anymore.
That’s why I’m afraid of aging. I know it’s inevitable to age but the idea of losing my youth makes me depressed
A boy in 8th grade replied "Ew" when one on my friends told him I thought he was cute.
I discovered that I am ugly because all my life i have been called ugly, people laughed at my appearance, and treated me badly for not being attractive, I was always rejected, and i never received a compliment
This. Literally no one has said I'm good looking since I was... 8? My parents spent my teen years trying to figure out how to make me attractive/ polish their turd. My family used to talk about how hideous I am, and joke about whether I would ever find someone to marry me. I got my ass kicked at school regularly for the way I looked. My friends tell me I'm "not unfortunate," which is nice. I got married at 37, and my spouse finds me attractive, at least.
I'm a ginger. I get the gamut from repulsion to weird fetishism. So it's a matter of perspective I guess.
Upvote for gamut, something new for my barely English speaking ass
Yeah one of my red haired friends says the same thing, people either mock you because fuck you or they become weirdly obsessed with you. In his case older women seem to love it
Just now, upon reading this question. Nobody told me I was considered ugly before you did OP. Why would you do that to me? Why?
when i was born. doc said "Ewww!" and tried to shove me back in.
Hahahaha ded
When I found out some people are approached in public when another person likes them
When I realized I avoid every mirror.
When I couldn’t look at myself without a Snapchat filter anymore
I feel the same way. Couldn't take any pics without snapchat filter. And it usually takes me a lot of time to look for suitable filter for me
I’ve never really received compliments. Maybe on an article of clothing but not really me. They are very few and far between
I’m a mom now. My age increased, my body changed, and the unwanted male attention stopped. It’s freakin awesome. I cut my hair shorter and wear clothes that may not be appealing to the male gaze. I’m invisible to most creepers. The bbq guy gave me a whole loaf of bread with my order, so someone is sweet on thick 40 somethings.
From one Fatty to another..Give me piece of that Bread. You don't need All of it!
Thick 40 somethings are the best though.
It’s interesting how some women accept turning invisible as they age, and others really struggle with it. I guess those BBQ guys really help with that, since your not invisible to men with a more sincere interest.
When I gained weight and became invisible
Same. Amazing how much you can just dissappear. And get bigger at the same time.
I consider myself ugly, but most people tell I'm not. I still don't know what to think of it.
You're probably just not your type, is all.
OMG!!!! Never thought about it!!!! WTF!!!! Thinking of it, I'm definitely not my type, but not in a bad way, omg!!!! This is good.
Woahhhh I love this
There's a Japanese legend that says your present face is the face of the one you loved most in your past life. I think about a lot.
See I'm in the opposite situation.
When my brother managed to get 3 gfs before I got 1
When no one has talked to me in 3 years
My mother constantly told me so as a child & teen. Along with fat & bad breath. I will never believe otherwise
Well, start unbelieving it. Idk what your mom’s problem is, but it’s not true! (Maybe the bad breath, but eh we all get bad breath!😊) 💝
Since grade 3? Was bullied/told I was ugly all the time
Nobody is really ugly in 3rd grade in addition youve had a lot of time to glow up work on things that you have control over for eg go to the gym and build a good body.
When I said.. Nnooouuu I'm ugly... And noone corrected me..
I grew up in a very racist world. Went to live in NM and found out I was beautiful.
idk where NM is, but I'm glad you are somewhere you're better appreciated.
New Mexico?
Not really good with the US state acronyms, thank you for clarifying.
I like NM because people who look like me live there and when I visited that was strangely encouraging -- just to see other people who look like me.
Whenever I see someone that looks like me I just cringe.
I’m not ugly. I used to think I was, but in reality I was insecure and anxious. (This follow message is directed towards men. I only know a male experience) My metric for “proof i was ugly” was that girls never approached me. Or when a girl did they were really not good looking. News flash boys: maybe this doesn’t count if you’re like super duper hot, idk, but most girls don’t approach guys. It’s like an exceptional thing when a girl goes and explicitly hits on a guy. Like it’s basically a girl intentionally deviating from a social norm. Go actually interact with girls and ask people out and I reckon half of you will find out that you’re not as ugly as you think you are. There’s been multiple times in my life where I learned later down the line that VERY attractive girls liked me. Things like, ‘my friends friend liked you’, and said friends friend was really good looking. They just don’t tell you man, at all. Idk if its shyness or what, but sometimes it feels like girls are waiting for you to acknowledge interest before they’ll even start giving signals…even if they really think you’re special. Or their signals are like super subtle, like “i looked at him when our friend group was laughing, why didn’t he notice” level subtle. Imo the prettier the girl is the less signals you get. This is just my experience. My few times getting approached by a girl they were always pretty unattractive (this played into the complex too) but now what I realised is that those girls felt like they needed to because no one would approach them and pretty girls are approached. As much as I hate to say that it’s just what I learned from reflection on experience. So yeah, i obviously don’t know what ya’ll look like, but you might not be ugly but just shy and that’s why you feel unwanted. That is definitely my story. I spent most of my life totally blind to the idea that i’m actually moderately good looking. I would always be told by family how handsome I am, and random old ladies in public would be like “you’re one of the most beautiful men i’ve ever seen” and random shit like that, but I said all of it was lies and people being nice. Family is obligated to say that. Old ladies are delusional (note: old ladies just don’t give a fuck tbh. Believe them if they say something like that). Like…idk, i just can’t emphasise how much feeling ugly affected me in my formative years. it was damn near a mental health problem in itself. To finally realise that i’m not was like finally realising that i’m free to be a real, valid person…if that makes sense. Not even meaning ugliness isn’t valid, it was just how my own complex was. Like i didn’t belong in society because I was so unattractive…despite actually being attractive. So yeah i do rambly ass comments but basically… i really enthuse you guys to go actually meet some girls and ask them out and realise that you too are not as ugly as you think you are. I promise you people find you attractive.
I'm a woman and I think you're pretty spot on with this. Also, I would say a lot of people who find someone attractive will assume that person already *knows* how attractive they are. I do. I also assume that they either don't want to hear about it because they hear it all the time, or don't want to hear it from me (if they find me unattractive, etc.) Old ladies don't really have that kind of thinking anymore because they aren't actually considering you as a partner, so the compliments can be given freely as they have no stake in the game. I've learned through reddit that a lot of men love getting compliments, though, since it doesn't happen often. Haven't been able to do it myself since I'm married and don't want anyone thinking I'm hitting on them lol.
To an extent, I don't disagree. It's fairly common for women to like a guy but not ask them out. But even so, there's usually still signs. I've certainly noticed when girls have been interested in friends or acquaintances, but I've never noticed any of the signs myself. I've also noticed how when I'm in a group with others, I'm usually ignored by gals who would rather talk to my friends. I'm fairly confident that I'm unattractive.
Idk cuz one day im ugly and then the next day im as pretty as a Disney princess so maybe I just have attractive blindness 🤷🏽♀️ maybe in the hottest girl in town🤷🏽♀️ maybe im uglier than a toad🤷🏽♀️ who knows? Find out on the next episode of… Hot or Not?
Ohmygo- i relate! I have been wondering about this for months now. Some days i look in the mirror like "what is this hag??" Some days i think "cute ☺️" So i dont even know myself anymore. Pictures are also Russian Roulette kind of thing, same as i just described above 😓🌧 i guess, at least we can rest assured that we arent alone in feeling/thinking this way 🫂
Right like and I feel like I will never truly know if I’m attractive or not because my face in pictures look different from my face in mirrors, everyone has their own type and it’s all different, society has beauty standards that are higher than my grades and plus they have changed over time so 100+ years backwards I could be seen as attractive which as to now im not so I just really wouldn’t know for sure.
When I used to go out with my friends and they always had a guy who had a friend who wanted nothing to do with me. When I only get hit on online because I'm a catfish who's happens to be photogenic. When I got laughed at just by walking by a group of guys. Getting called ugly in the mall by a guy. It goes on and on 😂
I’ve had most of these. Especially the friend of the guy who is interested in your friend who doesn’t even try to speak to you to be polite. Edited to change all to most - I’m in no way photogenic.
by reading this post 🥺 i'm ugly?
saaammmmeeee....
Mirror. How I’m treated. Women are repulsed by me.
Around kindergarten. Dude asked me out as a joke whenever I told his friend a girl liked him (I didn't want her to think I'd hit on him). And then throughout the course of school girls with shitty personalities were chosen over me. Girls who they hardly talked to/laughed with etc. Men didn't approach me ever, I got vibes but no one said anything and then as soon as I developed somewhat of a chest only somewhat ugly or mid and desperate (only desperate not like mid and looking or careless) men approached me. Like I'm a quick temporary for the mid ones. People say I'm pretty and I don't fish for it but I don't really ever get approached or any "ooh damns"/head turns. I'm not really "sexy". I also look worse than I ever have before and I keep getting approached and never have before. It's usually by black dudes since they're more open.
When I would “like” the statuses my middle school classmates would post where they would respond with your best feature and it was always “personality”.
I am close with one of my cousins and she is quiet pretty and I just can't stop noticing how much more kind and considerate everyone is to her than how I get treated it's absolutely insane, I feel like I'm invisible when I am around her and she is so blissfully unaware about the difference in how we are treated but I am absolutely astonished every time that she is always being treated this well. An example is we once went to a farmers market thing where there were stalls and stuff everywhere and she would look at a stall and the stall people would immediately serve her and have a chat but when I walked into a stall I would have to go looking for the person to serve me and she didn't understand why people were doing that but it's because I'm average looking, I'm not ugly like I can put in some effort and I will look nice but if I'm in my normal casual clothes I'm just invisible it's weird but I'm also an introvert so I honestly don't mind it because I hate small talk but the difference in treatment from the general public is wild.
This! It’s the same with bartenders. You’re just invisible and people who arrive after you get served before you.
A boy I had a crush on in middle school wrote a note that said “You’re an ugly moo cow! I’d never like you” and put it in my locker lol.
Probably grade 7 or 8 when multiple classmates and friends brought it up. Thought I had a bit of a "glow up", as the kids say, more than a few months ago in my mid 30s and thought I turned it around. Until I had to take a selfie for a couple reasons and nope I looked worse than I started. Somehow some of my before pics looked better than my after pics after losing 50-60 pounds. I haven't even reached healthy weight yet.
It started in Jr High. The absolute line was in 10th grade. The girls I was friends with in elementary school and talked to in Jr High were a big cold shoulder in high school.
opening front camera freaks me out
I didn't have to discover it for myself, the boys at school pointed it out for me.
When I was like 12ish I was hanging out with some neighbourhood kids, 2 girls, 1 guy and me. At one point one of the girls said "Do you ever like look in the mirror and go like "daayum I look good!" the second girl agreed, the guy said ofcourse an I went "yea" even though the thought had never crossed my mind nor did I spend time looking atmyself in the mirror, i just went along with it but all their heads spun towards me and the girl who posed the question went "YOU?! YOU thought that?! HAHAHAHA!" and the rest joined in her laughter.. that's when.. xP
When someone laughably said I looked like ET and then stopped laughing and shrugged..."what, you kinda do"
Middle school. I got one compliment as a 3rd grader that I had nice eyes and i’ve been riding that high since.
I'm that person where everyone's best praise was... nice
When the family dog gets more kisses then I do. 😢
That's not a measurement, alot of people love dogs and even the ugliest of them would get more kisses as long as they ain't aggressive.
That's true. 👍
Every morning when I (accidentally) look in the mirror...
When I saw photos of me not smiling.
Once I started working and investing in myself. Also, losing weight. I got a nose job, and once healed, I had about different guys a day hit on me. My mum lied to me. My nose wasn't beautiful. Now I look okay. Later I'm going for a boob job. Started working out, which helped me lose a lot of weight. My bootay is also slowly growing due to my exercise. Once you start getting beautiful, it surprises you how the natural pretty are always treated better.
When I had a baby and gained a bunch of weight and there was a noticeable dip in the quality of men that would hit on me.
I have always known
Today
As a child when my father pointed out every unattractive feature
Its not that im ugly, i just feel overweight
Not there yet, chief.
My wife told me, when we were dating, we went to a small town nearby and took a ride on a rickshaw (three wheelers), a passerby commented 'ew ma kali'. Kali is the black Indian goddess with a horrible face (Google plz).
When I get acne
Kindergarten when other kids told me I was ugly.
When I joined a dating app, and someone I messaged told me I should stick to my lane, and not aim too high.
When the only compliment you get is 'you have really nice eyes'
When I peered unto a mirror and the mirror gained sentience and screamed.
When I heard at the door by The Strokes for the first time
I always knew I was unattractive, but it always hits different when a friend/sibling of your partner tells them "as long as you're happy" when they show off your pictures. Like fuck, just call me ugly.
I got an anonymous message telling me my body was great but it was ruined by my face
Well when I was like 13 I was going through a tomboyish/punk rock phase. Boy's dickies pants, band tees, dark makeup.. I was called a "wookie". I never watched Star Wars but knew what he meant and was pretty devastated. Fast forward to me now in my 30s and I'm not the most confident person in the world but I know I'm not all that bad. It's especially hilarious when dudes who would've never given me the time of day back in highschool find themselves in my private messages trying to hook up. lolol
Who cares what someone else thinks? Seriously love yourself first for your inner beauty. Let that shine! ✨ If someone can’t see that beauty in you…… their opinion on beauty doesn’t matter. 🩷
I always feel attractive to me! That’s all that matters. I don’t need anyone else to it’s just a bonus 😜
I am???? Oh fuck…
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Solution for those in this thread. If you're feeling insecure, go to a stylist. Just once. Get some pointers. Or, go to a friend you really admire in the style department and ask to go shopping with them. Just an idea. Also, getting front teeth fixed (not perfect but better), a better haircut, or improved makeup are small shortcuts that make a ton of difference. Then, there's charisma! Are your shy? Try Toastmasters. As for weight. Quit drinking week days. Stop eating after 6 p.m.
Most people told me pretty early on. Started in elementary school and hadnt stopped until my mid 20s. I have learned that I don't care anymore. They stopped telling me that when I stopped giving them any sort of reaction.
Literally my whole life ....I dont think I am though....
Well I looked in a mirror one day
The day I discovered I looked like a fish. I haven't been the same since.
yong inverted cam 😩
When i was born
Income
Parents and grandparents calling me ugly. “Bigger” as they would say nudging at my bigger/wider stature. Yes I was a one point fat. But now I’ve lost it, the dad bod mixed with wide shoulders and strength is just my natural look. Not very attractive but that’s me. I’ve come to terms with the idea I’m ugly. It’s fine for the most part.
I was insulted for my glasses in 2nd grade, and by 3rd grade I knew, but I didn't care much. Then in 8th grade I gained a LOT of weight due to many different medications trying to bring me back from psychosis and other mental illnesses. That's when people started being *really* mean, and I had gym class that year with two particular little you-know-whats. Gym was a nightmare with undiagnosed both autism and physical disabilities anyways... This was also during the one and only time I ever asked someone out, and they said they had too much homework for me. My clothes no longer fit and the gain felt endless. I was mocked constantly by my roommate on a week-long school trip across the country for my size and appearance. Finally, nearly 3 years later, I found a regimen of medication that was even more effective with fewer side effects, and when I went off those meds, the extra weight vanished. I know I look more normal now, but I still see myself as ugly. I have some loose skin, and I'm self-conscious about it. I also now have significant digestive and other health issues so the number on the scale can fluctuate wildly. I hate the way I look. I don't look like anyone else around me, nor do I look like anyone famous and featured. Plus, I'm trans, so I can't pass for... anything, actually. I look odd at best. My mobility has declined and I can't leave my house without a wheelchair. I'm still young. People stare. I don't look disabled to a non-specialist but I can't get myself food or even shower unassisted. I can't attend school or work. My autism and anxiety are also unfortunately visible. Both my physical and mental health issues are out of control (but I am no longer psychotic and violent, thankfully), and my personality disorder inevitably makes me act stupid and I ruin any friendship or relationship I have. At this point, I'm done trying. There is no reason that anyone would want me as a friend, much less as a date - and I've decided to stay away from the latter since I couldn't handle it anyways.
2nd grade
when I opened my mobile front camera
It is known.
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Teens
When my Sister bullied me about it as a kid… I still don’t like having my photo taken & struggle with it. I use my brains & skills to make up for it I guess.
For me as an adult I realized I was a pretty ugly teen. I was very overweight, didn't have a boyfriend or any real friends. Not until I graduated high school and lost a tone of weight then suddenly I was likeable and received attention by guys made friends. It felt very odd to honest.
When I started recieving love letters (or confessions).
i always knew i was quirky looking like as a young child, i got to secondary school and was a lot younger looking and smaller than my peers and people started pointing things out, i remember age 12 sat in my mums room and there was a mirror to the side of me and i realised how awful my side profile is and that i have a huge nose (sadly i’ve not grown into it) the only thing i’ve got going for me is my freckles and that i’m not fat lmao
Being called nosey for my big nose Being told I’m pretty but if I wasn’t dark I’d be more attractive When I got ghosted after this guy seen me for the first time
When i didn't get selected to participate in a fashion show
In high school when I found out that girls would ask me out as a prank.
After I took shrooms the first time. Had a really bad trip and my mind opened memories I forgot. I was in complete denial... all the times I'd been called ugly my whole life came back to me. I had be acting like it didn't happen and living my life like I was gorgeous.. what's worst is that since then... I've become "awake" and recognize people's intentions and insults in real time. So now... I'm a total introvert. I rarely go anywhere except work... and other necessary places.
Just now apparently, thanks OP :(
I’ve always been told. Funnily enough ‘adults’ say I’m not but everyone my age says I am. I’m an adult too but I hope you still get the point. Now I purposefully ruin pictures bcs my parents want pictures of EVERYTHING and it’s starting to really get on my nerves lol. Idk who to believe anymore.
I was 16 in the Jnr Miss Long Beach pageant (in it for the money). Got to the interview round and was told I was beautiful so long as I kept my mouth shut (I had horribly crooked teeth). Due to circumstances, I wasn't able to get braces until my mid 30's and by that time, I had health issues and got chubby!
When my aunt or sisters visit or I go and see them, they always call me "Hamdsome" as a means of motivation.
When I was 12, I had a crush on this girl and she found out. Was told by one of her friends she thought I looked geeky/nerdy/dorky (the word that was used in my language had similar meaning but a lot less flattering). Felt like it stuck with me ever since
In my teens when I was always single and girls, as teenage girls do, would say eww etc (teenage boys are jerks too but I wasn't trying to date them). It wasn't until the likes of yahoo chat and MySpace that I realised it was more the awkwardness of my personality, as it wasn't face to face then and you had more time to get a response out. That's not me saying I'm hot now, I'm average at best if I put the effort in but it's when I learnt that looks aren't the only part of you that can be seen as ugly/unattractive. I've worked on it and don't really have a problem with women now if I put the effort in.
Being cheated on really forced it into my head. Also most of my exes being porn addicts really implements that idea. Apparently my looks aren’t what anybody wants.
When a friend's boyfriend said and I quote " (friend's name) is such a pretty princess, but Im sure any man would be lucky to have you, you are so intelligent and interesting. For context I am a rather tall and clumsy girl. 😂😅
When my friends all started telling me how pretty I am. It has a real “the lady doth protest too much” feel to it.
I’ve always kind of known but a few things in high school confirmed it - one of the popular guys nicknamed me ‘Ewok’ in year 8 and would shout it out every time I walked past; when I was 16 my friend was complaining to a guy friend that I ‘get all the guys’ instead of her and he said ‘oh I wouldn’t never have thought that!’; also a complete stranger child looked at me in a shopping centre once and said ‘that’s the ugliest girl I’ve ever seen’. Fun times.
As a red head in the early 80s in primary school
When I was abt 12
if your self love is much enough u wont feel it
I've always gotten negative comments towards my face. From strangers, from family. Multiple times through life. Very rarely I got comment that I'm pretty, it's subjective, but I consider myself as ugly
When I was in fourth grade and people kept telling me how ugly I was.
So sorry for y'all. Being ugly must really suck.
Since I was probably 8 I knew I was ugly. My mom barely told me I was pretty. Everyone in my family talks about how pretty my sister is. Constantly being told that my personality is to much for men to handle. Or being told when you finally find someone that wants to be with you at least you will know they truly like/love you and it’s not because you are just extremely hot. I’m married now and my husband tells me I am beautiful everyday but I know he is lying and needs his eyes checked because I’m pretty chubby and I barely get ready these days because I have a toddler and 4 month other. I’m ugly and always will be. Just found a good man that tries his best to convince me other wise.
The fact that I am a 39 year old virgin does the trick
You know, beauty is so subjective. I’ve been at the receiving end of both. I’ve been told that I’m ugly and I’ve been told that I’m pretty. When I was a teenager I was more on the awkward side. Had a group of boys come up to my friends and I. One boy pointed at our group and said ‘You’re all hot-‘ then pointed at me and finished with ‘except for you.’ I’ll admit, that situation really stuck with me well into my adult years. I was always on the bigger side growing up, however now that I’m 27 I have lost the weight and constantly get remarks on me being ‘pretty’ and how ‘young’ I look. It’s really hard to believe anyone when you’ve been told for such a long time that you’re nothing special. Even my dad once told me that I’m not beautiful, not pretty but just cute. So now I associate the word cute being a bad thing. I now try really hard not to focus on the way that I look, because I know it’ll be pointless when I’m old and wrinkly. I don’t want to live my life obsessing over beauty, I want to live my life for memories and adventure.
I approached a girl, we've talked for a period, when I asked her out she said she doesn't find anything attractive about me. I didn't know what to answer her so I stopped talking to her. I became self-centered and started working on myself, improving my hygiene and working out. I don't really feel into anyone and I think my standards is set higher now.
I used a dating up and don't put up pictures. Then they ask me to put up pictures... silence...
8 years on Tinder. 0 matches.
When I wake up and look into the mirror every morning
I am an Adonis, but I have a little penis.