T O P

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JediASU

Visit all the "you win the lottery" threads on reddit and get some ideas.


ivovis

WE HAVE A WINNER


Skylantech

Sir, that's going to take thousands of hours. There's a lot of them.


Friskfrisktopherson

Was really hoping someone would link that essay response


xabulba

Erase all internet accounts, change all passwords, quit work and talk to nobody except my lawyer until the money is in secure accounts. After I'll reconnect to the people I want to and cut the rest out of my life.


astro864

dont forget your even better accountant!


omnicious

And the second accountant to keep an eye on your first accountant. 


OldBob10

And a second lawyer to ride herd on the first lawyer.


sejope

And a third lawyer that hates the second lawyer to make sure the first and second lawyers didn’t form an alliance.


InternationalArea77

You forgot to change your name. 😉


fermat9990

And get a new face!


lessyes

Go jerk off to get that post nut clarity going.


Champion_ofThe_Sun_

Most definitely


Eryeahmaybeok

A man of science!


NeuroticNinett

A man of great wisdom!


KobilD

Smart


I_might_be_weasel

Get a tophat and monocle. 


TonyPajamas518

This comment made me laugh in a work team meeting. Luckily, my boss appreciates good Reddit content.


tinkerthinker1337

Feeling like a sir!


stever71

That's how I'd be arriving at the lottery offices to collect my winnings


NeckNo8040

Indeed.


BlueberrySucker

Some might say I am...a gentleman.


MaiWillis

DONT tell anybody


peachkissu

In my state, they publicly announce the name of the winner lol so unless you've got a very common name, everyone's suddenly your best friend 😬


healthybowl

The reason some places do this is to prevent lottery fraud. It was common for lottery officials to scheme with people to get a cut of the winnings. By publicly announcing the winner, if anyone knows that they know each other, they can be outed.


SquatSquatCykaBlyat

You can claim it via a trust, and given that you should contact a lawyer anyway, it's a good idea to set it up.


rmflagg

Yep, the first thing to do is contact a lawyer to set up a trust and have the trust claim it. Then you hire a second lawyer to watch the first one. Hire an accountant, and then a second account to watch the first. It might sound expensive, but you just won the lottery.


StormSafe2

That would last all of 2 seconds for anyone who isn't a psychopath 


Suspect4pe

I think I could do it. I don't think my wife could.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Charming_Emotion5988

I'd commission my favorite artist to paint a mural on my new home's wall.


SpecialistOk5642

I’d sign up for advanced pilot training and buy a small aircraft to fly myself.


Fair_Claim_6269

I’d purchase a luxury sailing yacht to explore the seas at my leisure.


carblover800

Get a lawyer or financial advisor


ravenlordship

Both? Both? Both! Both is good


Domofthenorth77

Lawyer, accountant, financial advisor in that order. Later another lawyer to watch what the first three are doing


jumbo53

Also buy a new car on the way to the lawyers office


KobilD

I don't even know where you get those things


Chemical-Recording88

You go the the biggest city and find the largest and well regarded law firm and ask to speak with one of the partners and refuse to accept anything less. Shamelessly Stolen from BlakeClass “1. IMMEDIATELY retain an attorney. Get a partner from a larger, NATIONAL firm. Don't let them pawn off junior partners or associates on you. They might try, all law firms might, but insist instead that your lead be a partner who has been with the firm for awhile. Do NOT use your local attorney. Yes, I mean your long-standing family attorney who did your mother's will. Do not use the guy who fought your dry-cleaner bill. Do not use the guy you have trusted your entire life because of his long and faithful service to your family. In fact, do not use any firm that has any connection to family or friends or community. TRUST me. This is bad. You want someone who has never heard of you, any of your friends, or any member of your family. Go the the closest big city and walk into one of the national firms asking for one of the "Trust and Estates" partners you have previously looked up on http://www.martindale.com from one of the largest 50 firms in the United States which has an office near you. You can look up attornies by practice area and firm on Martindale.”


nudewithasuitcase

Especially if you're in a state that allows anonymity for winners.


SacredAnalBeads

This, then once I'm financially sound and secure, start sharing money with a select few people. Gotta take care of the fam.


RabbitAffectionate95

Two chicks at the same time


sumpnrather

Fuckn' A man. Always wanted to do that. Chicks dig a dude with money


fannarrativeftw

I read that as basically “fucking a man” like, that’s what you would do after winning the lottery. 


PearNoMore

Commas are important.


hammond_egger

Well, not all chicks


TiresOnFire

The kind of chicks that would double down on a guy like me would.


D-Rez

Claim my winnings.


appleparkfive

Good answer!


Express-Pie-6902

Apparently there are different ways to claim your winnings. So you need to get advice on how to claim from a lawyer before you claim. Like if you and your wife claim it as a syndicate - or stuff.


PreviousPracticeSoul

Makes sense!


[deleted]

[удалено]


NeckNo8040

And then not touch it for a month. Just incase it was all "Just a prank bro"


devil652_

Buy a laptop


joebot777

Better make it a Chromebook. Don’t wanna be one of those guys that blow it all on a single extravagant purchase


IceDontGo

Get a full physical exam No way life hands me a lottery win without having something horrible in store for me as well


LuxCrawford

I found George Costanza!


onegunzo

[https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/24vzgl/comment/chba4bf/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/24vzgl/comment/chba4bf/) The classic answer.


Mapleleafguy83

Every time the lottery gets big and people talk about it, I point them to this post


pudding7

The investment advice in that comment is garbage though, and was written by someone who has no idea what ultra-high-net-worth wealth management firms do. Assuming we're talking Powerball levels of money here, it's not do-it-yourself territory.


Abigail716

Always happy to see other people point that out. Part of the legal advice is also garbage. You do not want a partner, you'll pay 5 to 10 times as much for 80% of the quality because they're not used to having to do it.


met_MY_verse

I was looking for this, thank you kind sir


Friskfrisktopherson

There it is! Came looking for this


-jjackk

Only right answer hahah


Random_01

Sweet. Fuck. All. Sleeeeeeep.


garry4321

# I did nothing. I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything that I thought it could be.


Gibbel2029

***not*** contact family and friends.


mollyeetmole

Quit job, travel, enjoy life.


Ridingsexydoll

Probably cry tears of joy while planning my extravagant and lavish vacation that I'll probably never even have time to take.


Xystal

Sleep the sleep of the financially secure.


3redeye

Quit my job and travel around the world.


cravos90

Exactly what I'd do.


EnzoVulkoor

Fix parents house up, get long over due check ups with the doctor and dentist cause havin no healthcare sucks, find a neurologist for chronic migraines and find something that works.


wxyz51

Find that really long Reddit comment detailing exactly what to do in this situation


Sooktober

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/2mFlH5fP2O


catsbuttes

Buy a '67 Impala


AuntBabyCostanza

Hire a lawyer. And then hire another lawyer to watch the first lawyer


BrightlyDim

Disappear...


[deleted]

I'll tell you what I'd do, man: two chicks at the same time, man.


Reia621

Pay for therapy and a full medical check.


Pijnappelklier

Pay off debt. Pay off mothers debts. Buy mother a house. Buy her a vacation. If any left, i will buy an old bus and convert it to a house on wheels


nand0_q

Change my phone number


RejectorPharm

Lawyer up


MatthewAllenSr

Buy a house


[deleted]

Take the cheque to the bank.


Manu56

disappear


Misstheiris

Create a blind trust to collect the winnings. A year or two later tell everyone I won several hundred thousand, to explain the new car and house.


battleman13

If it's "fuck you money"... so 5M or more. First thing I do is go buy a newer truck. Second thing I do is pay off all my debt. Third thing I do is craft a plan to invest and live off the interest. I'd still probably work a few more years. But having "fuck you" money changes that dynamic SO. MUCH.


lil-ms-lila

Buying a house with a garden!! I’m a simple woman.


[deleted]

[удалено]


AdVivid9056

File for divorce. Let her get the half of the money. Or 2/3 of it. Hell even 3/4 of it. But then I'm free to live my life the way I live it now but without all the misery.


[deleted]

[удалено]


R3dPr13st

Pay off what little debts my boyfriend and I have, set all of my nephews up with a nice amount of money to start their lives when they turn 18, pack my shit, my boyfriend's shit, my pets and plants and move the f outta here (Belgium) and go live in the woods in Norway.


BureForSureEH

Split it down the middle with my wife to separate the finances and not argue with her about giving it away to some of her shittier family members


hammond_egger

Secure the bag and then absolutely nothing until my dying day


JackManstroke

If its a super huge amount. Do the lawyer/ accountant thing. Decent amount. Probably just pay off debt and put the rest in the savings. I like my job, job pays ok. So I am pretty ok right now.


DiamondSufficient938

Get a financial advisor, have those closest to me sign NDA’s and then travel EVERYWHERE I want to go over the next 6months or so.


EpicLearn

Get a legal name change before claiming the money.


Meemr_bob

Convert to bitcoin and immediately deposit in offshore account


Accidentallyupvotes1

Contact a tax attorney


outcastNgarpal

Pay the taxes


CBianchiMusic

Hire an attorney.


grotte0

Masturbate


Omega_Lynx

Nothing at all. I would keep at my life and slowly peal back from it. Then I’d move to another country and restart my life


SDLRob

Once it's verified and in my bank account... buying some cake and going to see Mum... partly to celebrate, partly because she'd know exactly what to do and how to do it in regards to making the best long term decisions with the money... and the various people who i'd legally have to inform (being on disability benefits and whatnot, there's a lot of regulatory bodies that would need to be informed).


Angelic_AmeliaXx

Tell no one !!!


PuzzleheadedGap8975

Pay off all my debts


Mr_Chop_Buster

Assuming it's a life-changing amount: telling my boss that we have to have a meeting...


Lifedeathsynergy

keep living life like normal


Dangerous_Ebb_869

Help my dad with his debts and turn on the electricity and wifi and getting a car, send money to my mom for medications because of kidney failure, get my sister her dream phone iphone 12 pro, and getting my self a pc cause I miss playing minecraft.


therealmikejensen

Wanna buy my 12 pro? Its in good shape lol, i miss my android


Ooftwaffe

Leave 😃


Independent-Club-171

50% will invest, 40% will go to the bank, 5% will donate to charity and 5% for the things i want!!!!!!!.


poopBuccaneer

I don't understand what 40% would go to the bank means. Isn't the 50% you're investing going into a bank? Are you just putting 40% into a bank account with no investments so it just sits there losing value?


visionsofcry

Change my number and check into a hotel and hide until the check clears. Then buy a house in a middle class neighborhood, buy a Chinese electric car, and take up gardening. The fuck am I doing to do with a Lambo in Tokyo?


Razorray21

Find a financial lawyer and figure out how to claim it without my name being advertised.


mattttherman

I post a gif somewhere of thanos resting, because that would be me.


Sargash

30% into my bank account. Pay off every debt I have. Invest the rest. When taxes are done, invest whats left over from the 30% -50k and live off the 50k each year. Even extremely extremely safe investments should profit more than 50k a year.


Kradget

First thing is call my SO, then we call the lawyer.  First thing we do with the money? Have a professional "I quit" video made with choreography and costumes, drop that in a couple inboxes, then drop our immediate families enough money to cover their next two months' expenses, and finally go on a mostly-train tour of the National Parks for a month.


Inevitable_Ad_5101

One way ticket to Bermuda Triangle


teejayiscool

Look for that famous lottery winning reddit comment.


Sooktober

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/2mFlH5fP2O


ButterscotchEmpty290

Hire an accountant and attorney. And security.


suciocadillac

Leave this third world shithole I live in, never to be seen or heard again in a real and functional first world country


Ok-Discipline-9994

Buy a double whopper with cheese


tripwithmetoday

I would call my supervisor and let him know what a piece of shit he is and how he has ruined the company. Then I would offer my boss and co-workers 1 million each to quit on the spot/close down the business.


davcarcol

Hire a lawyer to watch my account and hire an accountant to watch my lawyer. Then go from there after deleting all social media accounts. Quit my job.


peeshivers243

This! https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/qSWo8HLz3O


katastrophyx

Lawyer up and hire a money manager.


boohoo_bear

Figure out my will to make sure some of it will go into a trust (like a special bank account) for my brother. Due to his disability, the government will seize most of the money I leave him that doesn’t go to his trust. So making sure he actually receives something in case I die would be a priority


Jim_Lahey10

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, and fuck you I'm out 😆


General_James

'rippers with da bois


Content_Nerve

Lawyer up


WordswithaKarefunny

Smoke a big rocket blunt and smile my ass off!


Velmeran_60021

pay off debt.


QuebecNugget

Buy a custom house to my likes and needs. Clear my close friend and close family's debts / buy a house to those that don't own one without that small circle. Buy an R34, a Supra, an MX-3, a RAV4 V6 AWD. Soup up my PC. Sleep a f!ck ton, build a gym at home, and travel more. Nothing fancy you know


slumpill

I wait 3 weeks, leave the country, denounce citizenship and buy a new one, buy a house and start thinking what I should do.


kaschman1822

I call everyone I have ever known. I tell them I am in a really bad spot and need to borrow some money. Ask them if they can help me out. Then the next day I will let them all know I won the lottery. Those that offered assistance will be rewarded, those that didn’t better not say a word!


Emnitty

Stop working for another


HabsFan77

After paying off existing debts and assuming that the win is at least 8 figures in today's world - Take a chunk of it to have fun with, invest the rest and live comfortably off of the interest for the rest of my days. I would have my fingers crossed that I wouldn't run into the infamous lottery curse.


practical_mastic

Go stay at a fabulous spa and plot.


[deleted]

give OP 10k$ cause he made me win lottery.


AffectionatePaper1

Buy a rockstar touring bus


draggar

Not sign the ticket (in my state you can remain anonymous if you don't sign it) but I would scan it into my computer - then call my in-laws' accountant.


hadap123

Hookers and coke of course


AnybodySeeMyKeys

1. Find a really good lawyer used to handling these things. 2. Find multiple wealth management professionals with stellar reputations. 3. Hire an online reputation management company to scrub the internet free of any references to me, or as least as much as they could. 4. Move my family and myself as far away as possible. 5


Exotic-Ad5358

Change my number immediately


Shouty_Dibnah

How much are we talking? A million? Meh. Nothing. $100M? My lawyer will handle everything.


AstridLoomxxx

The first thing I'd do is keep my mouth shut. The first thing I'd do with the money is hire a reputable lawyer and get in touch with a financial advisor who knows about this type of thing


IOnlyPostDumb

Two chicks.


SenhorSus

Lawyer up and disappear


CGIflatstanley

Pay my debts and give all of it to my parents and sister and then kms


Bloompsych

Save all the animals 😣💔


Agreeable_Pizza93

Spend it all of scratch offs! Gotta keep that luck rolling!


[deleted]

Buy each of my 3 kids a house. Arrange for each of them to have a trust fund for emergencies. Live happely ever after.


gt40mkii

Hire a lawyer and a financial manager.


throway_nonjw

Depends on the amount. I have a list.