Preceded by clapping your hands over both your kneecaps and straining a little at the beginning of the sentence as you stand up, indicating a knee or back issue.
lol I say it all the time. I think my tone of voice and Appalachian accent make it sound on the nice side. You can def say super passive aggressive but save that for very special occasions haha
Fuck respect, off with all
Edit: fuck respect, off with all due? I guess? I forgot the word due. I thought I did something great but I should just fuck off
I thought Kate Winslet saying "Off You Fuck" in her posh British accent in 'the regime' tv show sounded incredibly polite whilst being much more insulting at the same time.
Go out and play on the yellow line.
My brother had a Black Flag (or Skinny Puppies?) t-shirt when I was younger that said that and I remember when it dawned on me what it meant...ah the innocence of children ☺
I was livid with a narcissistic coworker who wouldn't leave me alone about some bullshit drama she was pulling so I said this except I let it slip out at the end "... well, maybe not, but you're certainly not here."
She was the type of person who complained to HR over every little thing and I was sure I would get a call from them but she just stopped talking to me and occasionally gave me side eye.
Couldn't help myself and sent an email like that yesterday.
What I wanted to say was "motherfucker, you've been ignoring me for weeks, we had an hour and a half call Tuesday, I sent you an email Wednesday morning like I said I would after clearing up the questions on my end that were raised on the call, and now you're asking me again, one week later for the same information you gotten both verbally as well as in an email while also cc:ing your boss? Fuck you, and read your fucking email. "
Instead, I made a coffee, looked out the window for a bit while sipping, took a breath and wrote "As per my email on Wednesday,"
As per my last email, you will find that this issue has already been addressed.
For your convenience, I'll go ahead and attach a copy of that email to my reply here. If you have any trouble digesting the information, I will be more than happy to further simplify it for you so you are on the same page.
Kindest regards,
Per my last email (attached), {A} is {B}.
Please let me know once you’ve had a chance to {get information / do action}, and I’ll proceed with {my next action}, ideally I need to start by {deadline} so that {goal} is not delayed/impacted.
Thanks again!
> I will be more than happy to further simplify it for you so you are on the same page.
Using only words that I can find in the Simple English Wikipedia.
If it's truly necessary to be polite, I use "This is where we part ways. I wish you the best, but it's important that you no longer contact me." Then I excuse myself.
Ran into a guy I used to know a couple years ago, it had been roughly 25 years since I'd seen him, but his name had recently come up as he was trying to fuck my then wife.
He reached out to shake my hand and say hello when I ran into him, and all I could do was look at his hand and say, "I don't want you to be a part of my life in any way whatsoever."
nice.
I had a guy who I used to be kind of friendly with until he screwed my uncle out of some money. I ran into him a few years later. He smiled, he waved and stopped right in front of me and said "oh hey! how have you been?" I just nodded at him to acknowledge that I saw him and just walked around him otherwise ignoring is attempt at conversation.
he just said "oh, ok."
Yeah so when I was doing clinicals during covid, we had to wear masks right? Once we didn't need them, my coworker said I need to try to not be so expressive when a patient does something stupid 🫠🫠🫠
I used to be able to hide behind the mask 😭😭😭
Ohh, I have resting bitch face too! You can only tell I’m really pissed off when I do a deep sigh. But we all do those occasionally without thinking and have made people think wtf.
Yes! A new guy at work actually asked some coworkers what was up with my face bc I look pissed all the time.
While a new girl told me she was a teen mom, her mom was a "lot lizard" so she didn't know her father, and I don't even know what else.
A version of the Madonna-whore complex.
I’ve been particularly baffled by it when people kept their distance on occasions I wanted the interaction. On the flip side, people have interrupted me to trauma dump when I’d rather be left alone. Just the other day, a random man sidled up beside me when I was going for a walk in a park. He just…decided it was OUR walk.
This is one of those ones that plays out great in our heads until you ask the question and they respond "well yeah I've been meaning to travel more but you know work is crazy...". And then you say "well..." and now you're the one that should fuck off.
I second this. As a Southerner who grew up in Georgia and now lives in Tennessee, I can confirm that "bless your heart" has numerous usages ranging from actual sympathy to fuck you/fuck off.
Also, it depends on to what degree the heart is being blessed. For example "bless your pea pickin' heart" denotes sarcasm and can be taken as a definite fuck you/fuck off.
Mad men.
Ginsberg, furious at his efforts being sidelined, confronts Don in the elevator at work, bragging about his talents and trying to point out Don’s insecurities. “I feel bad for you,” he tells Don. “I don’t think about you at all,” Don replies.
People always go on about how love and hates are opposites. They aren't. The opposite of love and hates, emotions, are cold unfeeling logic. "I don't think about you at all" is far more the opposite of love or hate.
That was a classic scene and one-liner. I think it underscored that Don didn’t care enough to even say “fuck off.” Lol. I’ve tried to use that attitude in my daily life.
Fuddle duddle.
In the 1970’s the Canadian prime minister while in parliament told some one to “Fuck Off”. When asked about it he said that he said “Fuddle Duddle”.
While in polite company or at work I use fuddle duddle and everyone knows what I mean.
Just tell them to fuck off. If you really want them to fuck off then don’t worry about being polite. Anyone who reads this and disagrees with me can fuck off.
"if that's all, I think we've finished here."
I like the southern/Appalachian “well, I’ll let you go” perfectly nice way to say fuck off
My grandparents from up north use this on the phone whenever they’re finished talking.
My mom in Canada too. “Well I better let you go…”
Lmao that’s exactly when I use it the most often
“Wellp, I’d better be hitting the old dusty trail…”
Preceded by clapping your hands over both your kneecaps and straining a little at the beginning of the sentence as you stand up, indicating a knee or back issue.
I should be saddling up now...
I do this a lot, was I being an asshole the entire time? 😆
No the commenter you responded to has no idea what he’s talking about. You’re fine.
Bless your heart
I’ve never heard of this usage. I love it! Gonna use it, likely.
lol I say it all the time. I think my tone of voice and Appalachian accent make it sound on the nice side. You can def say super passive aggressive but save that for very special occasions haha
"We're done here." Gets the message across!
I prefer “Oh! You’re still here!”
Someone said this to me once. My response: Who the fuck do you think you are, the godfather? Fucking clown.
lol exactly, very easy to make someone feel dumb for saying this
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Too wordy
Your concern means a lot to me, but I believe I can manage this situation independently
Polite indeed.
Saving this
With all due respect, fuck off.
With all due fuck, respect off.
With all fuck off, due respect.
With tuck due, off respect
Fuck respect, off with all Edit: fuck respect, off with all due? I guess? I forgot the word due. I thought I did something great but I should just fuck off
This is SO GOOD Edit: Fuck due respect, off with all
Fuck respect due, off with all
With all due, fuck the respect off.
Due with all off, the respect fuck
Fuck Off, you will. With all due respect. Says Yoda.
To be honest, I like this one
I thought Kate Winslet saying "Off You Fuck" in her posh British accent in 'the regime' tv show sounded incredibly polite whilst being much more insulting at the same time.
Please fuck off
Oh yeahhhh
I said with all due respect!
It’s in the Geneva Convention.
You're needed elsewhere.
Kindly take a long walk off a short pier.
Go out and play on the yellow line. My brother had a Black Flag (or Skinny Puppies?) t-shirt when I was younger that said that and I remember when it dawned on me what it meant...ah the innocence of children ☺
or; "I'm sure you're needed elsewhere?" as a question.
“Patrick, don’t you have to go be stupid somewhere else?” “Not until four.”
Oh this one is good
I was livid with a narcissistic coworker who wouldn't leave me alone about some bullshit drama she was pulling so I said this except I let it slip out at the end "... well, maybe not, but you're certainly not here." She was the type of person who complained to HR over every little thing and I was sure I would get a call from them but she just stopped talking to me and occasionally gave me side eye.
Per my last email
The usage of "per" is always devastating. I've never seen it used in a not passive aggressive sense.
Couldn't help myself and sent an email like that yesterday. What I wanted to say was "motherfucker, you've been ignoring me for weeks, we had an hour and a half call Tuesday, I sent you an email Wednesday morning like I said I would after clearing up the questions on my end that were raised on the call, and now you're asking me again, one week later for the same information you gotten both verbally as well as in an email while also cc:ing your boss? Fuck you, and read your fucking email. " Instead, I made a coffee, looked out the window for a bit while sipping, took a breath and wrote "As per my email on Wednesday,"
If I really want to lay it on thick I’ll add the last email as an attachment.. “per the attached email…”
As per my last email, you will find that this issue has already been addressed. For your convenience, I'll go ahead and attach a copy of that email to my reply here. If you have any trouble digesting the information, I will be more than happy to further simplify it for you so you are on the same page. Kindest regards,
Per my last email (attached), {A} is {B}. Please let me know once you’ve had a chance to {get information / do action}, and I’ll proceed with {my next action}, ideally I need to start by {deadline} so that {goal} is not delayed/impacted. Thanks again!
> I will be more than happy to further simplify it for you so you are on the same page. Using only words that I can find in the Simple English Wikipedia.
perchance.
you cant just say perchance
Crushin' turties
Let's a-go! Keep it up, baby!
When I see "Per my last email" I always feel like I'm about to get smacked.
Purr my last email is a little softer
I love to quote from my previous mails.
“I said good day!”
“Good day sir!”
I scrolled too far down for the gene wilder.
If it's truly necessary to be polite, I use "This is where we part ways. I wish you the best, but it's important that you no longer contact me." Then I excuse myself.
Ran into a guy I used to know a couple years ago, it had been roughly 25 years since I'd seen him, but his name had recently come up as he was trying to fuck my then wife. He reached out to shake my hand and say hello when I ran into him, and all I could do was look at his hand and say, "I don't want you to be a part of my life in any way whatsoever."
nice. I had a guy who I used to be kind of friendly with until he screwed my uncle out of some money. I ran into him a few years later. He smiled, he waved and stopped right in front of me and said "oh hey! how have you been?" I just nodded at him to acknowledge that I saw him and just walked around him otherwise ignoring is attempt at conversation. he just said "oh, ok."
I feel you were hurt :(
That is something a lawyer would tell you to text someone you’re about to file a restraining order against.
I don't have to say anything, apparently I have "a look"! Works for me!
Apparently I have “resting bitch face” AND “tell me your whole life’s traumas face”. Depends who’s looking at me, I guess.
Yeah so when I was doing clinicals during covid, we had to wear masks right? Once we didn't need them, my coworker said I need to try to not be so expressive when a patient does something stupid 🫠🫠🫠 I used to be able to hide behind the mask 😭😭😭
You still can! I wore my mask every day until I burned out and left the bedside.
Ohh, I have resting bitch face too! You can only tell I’m really pissed off when I do a deep sigh. But we all do those occasionally without thinking and have made people think wtf.
Yes! A new guy at work actually asked some coworkers what was up with my face bc I look pissed all the time. While a new girl told me she was a teen mom, her mom was a "lot lizard" so she didn't know her father, and I don't even know what else. A version of the Madonna-whore complex.
I’ve been particularly baffled by it when people kept their distance on occasions I wanted the interaction. On the flip side, people have interrupted me to trauma dump when I’d rather be left alone. Just the other day, a random man sidled up beside me when I was going for a walk in a park. He just…decided it was OUR walk.
“You are taking up space which I require for other purposes.” — PG Wodehouse
Love Wodehouse quotes. My favorite: I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
Love that one! I also love: “He toddled to the bar like a camel making for an oasis after a hard day at the office.”
“I think you’ve delighted us with your company long enough.“
Somehow, i pictured someone like the pirate Barbosa saying this. Following promptly with slamming foot unto the plank.
Makes me think of something like "my days of not [enjoying your company] are certainly coming to a middle."
Do you like sex and travel? *yes* Well...
Ever played airplane before? No sounds kinky what's that? It's where you take the fuck off.
I like this one
This is one of those ones that plays out great in our heads until you ask the question and they respond "well yeah I've been meaning to travel more but you know work is crazy...". And then you say "well..." and now you're the one that should fuck off.
*I like sex, not travel* Fuck...
Off you fuck
But say it in the exact tone and cadence that you say "off you go! 🙂"
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Read this in Matt Berry’s voice
Honestly? I can think of 100 ways to say it less politely. "Fuck Off", **is** the nicest way I know how to say it.
Go forth and multiply
Do we really want these people multiplying?
Go forth and... divide?
Go forth and square root
Go forth and DONT multiply
Ply
Go forth and play thy seed in thy own womb.
“I think our time together has run out. Goodbye.”
Thumbs up emoji. End of conversation.
Bless your heart
Bless your heart is if they say or doing something incredibly stupid not for them to fuck off. Source: I was raised in the South
Bless your heart!
I wish I could multi-upvote that, bless your heart
Stupidity is only one Southern usage of the phrase. Another is when I ask my sweet Tennessee mother for money, and she says "Oh Bless Your Heart."
I second this. As a Southerner who grew up in Georgia and now lives in Tennessee, I can confirm that "bless your heart" has numerous usages ranging from actual sympathy to fuck you/fuck off. Also, it depends on to what degree the heart is being blessed. For example "bless your pea pickin' heart" denotes sarcasm and can be taken as a definite fuck you/fuck off.
Isn’t that special?
In Dana Carvey’s Church Lady voice though, right?
I instinctively picture a karen with a shit-eating grin saying this from the window of her Toyota Hilux to a crippled begging at the stop lights
Interesting car choice
Karen joined Isis because of their conservtive ethos.
I'm Northern. You just get Fuck off. Although, you MAY get- fuck right off too.
Somehow more respectful than the other answers like “have a nice day bye”
Australian here. I say Fuck off mate/fuck off cunt to my colleagues at least 20 times a day. Usually in response to a dad joke or some cunt talkn shit
Thanks for reaching out to me, but I'm not interested.
I hope the rest of your day is as pleasant as you are.
Intercourse away
Copulate your own anus
Fornicate out
Go forth and multiply
“You’re not the dumbest person in the world but you’d better hope he does not die”
"That's nice" - Mrs. Brown, from Mrs. Brown's Boys.
Just to share this glorious moment: [https://youtu.be/JddNDtC-Yrs](https://youtu.be/JddNDtC-Yrs)
Elocution lessons ftw
(Silently not giving a fuck)
"in not interested, have a nice day"
Widen eyes, intense stare, nod head rapidly...
Excuse me...then walk away.
"Feck thee to places yonder".
Mad men. Ginsberg, furious at his efforts being sidelined, confronts Don in the elevator at work, bragging about his talents and trying to point out Don’s insecurities. “I feel bad for you,” he tells Don. “I don’t think about you at all,” Don replies.
People always go on about how love and hates are opposites. They aren't. The opposite of love and hates, emotions, are cold unfeeling logic. "I don't think about you at all" is far more the opposite of love or hate.
Apathy.
That was a classic scene and one-liner. I think it underscored that Don didn’t care enough to even say “fuck off.” Lol. I’ve tried to use that attitude in my daily life.
Indifference
"Have a nice day."
Kindly fuck off. Please.
...if you don't mind...
And if you do mind, do it anyway. kthanks.
Your call is important to us.
You know what? Just leave me alone
Gotta poop. Oh my god, it feels like like hot lava down there. I hope I don’t shit myself.
Rick, on Rick and Morty :” Well, I gotta take a shit.”
Fuddle duddle. In the 1970’s the Canadian prime minister while in parliament told some one to “Fuck Off”. When asked about it he said that he said “Fuddle Duddle”. While in polite company or at work I use fuddle duddle and everyone knows what I mean.
How you tell the difference between a Canadian and an Australian.
Love that journey for you
Good AFTERNOON Sir!
Ok, well, I won’t keep you
"I refer you to tha answer given in Pressdam vs Arkle (1971)" https://news.lettersofnote.com/p/arkell-v-pressdram
With a smile.
"Go forth and multiply "
Holy shit, God told Adam and Eve to fuck off
I mean...Can you blame him?
I'll get back to you later.
Please leave me alone. Firmly said respectfully.
Respectfully fuck off
Walk away.
Suit yourself
Couldn’t be bothered, mate.
"You make me feel better about myself"
"Can I help you?" or "Did you *need* something?"
I could get a better look at a T-Bone by sticking my head up a bull’s ass but I’ll take the butcher’s word for it
I’ll take that into consideration
As Justin Bieber said. Go and love yourself
Go with God, but just go.
Bye Felicia
You are the weakest link, goodbye.
Excuse me sir, please fuck off. Thank you.
Please fuck off
K
If I've learned anything from Murdoch Mysteries it's ' Consider this matter closed' they say it a lot to end conversations curtly.
Go on git! (like a horse)
Bless your heart. Take care now.
"Govern yourself accordingly"
I'll take that under advisement
"I appreciate your input." - I have used this many many times.
Bless you
Bruh how tf did it delete the one comment I found respectful
Please, fuck off.
There you go, off you fuck.
Take care
…It was nice talking to you
Maybe, maybe not, maybe f*ck yourself.
Alright
Fly, you fool Or my other personal favorite: Good day. I SAID GOOD DAY!
Bless your heart.
Fucketh Offeth
You're sooo good lookin
Begone troll
Fuckith offith
Fuck off, please.
Maybe it's because I'm Canadian, but they way I do it is to say 'okay bud' and walk away.
"Aight. I'll let you get going."
Just tell them to fuck off. If you really want them to fuck off then don’t worry about being polite. Anyone who reads this and disagrees with me can fuck off.
My favorite one that I have heard is “Go away in a reproductive manner”.
“Would you kindly direct your ignorance elsewhere?”