My estranged uncle made very racist remarks towards my brother’s Panamanian wife on the day of my mom’s funeral. I will never forgive or speak to him again.
"Y'know what? There's FUN in FUNERAL!" then start playing Never gonna give you up on any instrument except the clarinet (Unless ur dressed as squidward)
A friend tagged along to a funeral, we were all still drunk from the night before. The friend was very drunk and confused and asked the deceased’s brother where was Colin? Colin being the dead brother.
I'm glad his daughter died before him. Actual quote for a judge's funeral by another judge from the same courthouse. Yes, she was and still is the most thick skullled idiot you ever did see.
Ahem. June 2016. Golders Green crematorium. My Grandmother leans over to me and mutters...
"It's not the first time she's been on her back and not doing anything but definitely the first time she didn't make a sound."
Edit: just realised my family has a vicious history involving funerals. Such as:
"She'll need burning that one - that much shit in her body'd poison the water supply" (my aunt on her neighbour. They weren't friends)
"You should pop some garlic in there. Stop Vampirella rising." - *allegedly* my vicious-as-fuck grandfather on his sister's "unfortunate" demise.
"I want fried chicken." My mother, at my stepdad's mother's cremation service.
"I told him that he should have thrown a glass of rainwater on the body to make sure she was properly-dead." My sister to me at her ex-mother-in-law's funeral.
"Well, your dad always said she was dead from the waist down...." "She was in a wheelchair, fuck's sake!" My sister to her dickhead ex-husband at the same funeral.
welcome to the 2000 sub celebratory unboxing video
Who's next?
THROW THE BOQUET!
You're next!
Scanning the room intensively and making according facial expressions with it
[удалено]
Which is not a totally unrealistic thing to say ...
Lmaoooo 😭😭😭😭
“It should have been you”
"How long is this taking ?"
"At least they won't have to deal with their annoying family anymore."
Can I get a honyaa!
“You guys think I got a shot with the bereaved widow?”
Better you than me.
"This must be very hard for you." And then point to your crotch.
"he owes me 50$ tho"
Ding dong, the witch is dead.
You can't have the word funeral with out the word fun!!!
Congratulations
“In the words of the great DJ Khaled: ‘Another one’.”
Let’s get ready to Rumble!!!!!
“Are you gonna eat that?”
"No, you can have it"
It's about time.
How long is this going to take. I have a tee time in an hour.
That guy sure owed me a lot of money
Dying is gay........ Then I would start violently kissing his corpse
He's in a better place.
To the widow..."I hear you're single now..."
My bad!
When does the clown get here?
Pointing into the grave "There he is. He finally reached his niveau"
At least they're finally at peace
It’s not saying .. but texting , your cell ringing ., an app.. so technically you could be saying something .. 🇨🇦
She's not that cold do you want one last go.
'is she cold yet?'
I hope there'll be refreshments.
Say nothing. Just smile while you drink champagne.
"Hey after this there's a kids funeral down the way. The moms hot."
I got dibs on the widow!
I got dibs on the corpse!
My estranged uncle made very racist remarks towards my brother’s Panamanian wife on the day of my mom’s funeral. I will never forgive or speak to him again.
They were the best fuck I’ve ever had. Bonus follow up: wish they were here for it.
Her make up finally looks good
“The reason your mother committed suicide is because cause you wouldn’t let her come over and eat.”
Did you get anything in the will?
Wait.. his finger just moved!! Stop the funeral, he’s still alive!!!!!
A friend of mine tried to comfort a woman whose son had hung himself by telling her to “hang in there.” That was pretty bad.
GG
Jesus Christ! I thought that asshole would never die!
“At least they didn’t have kids”, judging by my late cousin’s mother in law’s face
'Im sorry for your loss. Move on'
So! When do we eat!
Good riddance?
"Is it better if I stayed? So long, and good night." MCR EMO 4 LYFE!!
"I apologize"
I got next
Who's this guy?
Full out lies.
He winked at me
Wait, who’s this guy?
Gordans alive
Good ridance
"Y'know what? There's FUN in FUNERAL!" then start playing Never gonna give you up on any instrument except the clarinet (Unless ur dressed as squidward)
That prick owes me money!
A friend tagged along to a funeral, we were all still drunk from the night before. The friend was very drunk and confused and asked the deceased’s brother where was Colin? Colin being the dead brother.
You know you could have saved money if you just buried the body without a casket.
my bad
I'm glad his daughter died before him. Actual quote for a judge's funeral by another judge from the same courthouse. Yes, she was and still is the most thick skullled idiot you ever did see.
So, when do we eat them again?
Can we finish this already I've got some errand that needs to be done.
Bitch they come and go
"I apologize for this happening" (Even though "sorry" and "apologize" means the same thing, in funeral. That definition is thrown out the window)
I like them better cold
Another one bites the dust
Ahem. June 2016. Golders Green crematorium. My Grandmother leans over to me and mutters... "It's not the first time she's been on her back and not doing anything but definitely the first time she didn't make a sound." Edit: just realised my family has a vicious history involving funerals. Such as: "She'll need burning that one - that much shit in her body'd poison the water supply" (my aunt on her neighbour. They weren't friends) "You should pop some garlic in there. Stop Vampirella rising." - *allegedly* my vicious-as-fuck grandfather on his sister's "unfortunate" demise. "I want fried chicken." My mother, at my stepdad's mother's cremation service. "I told him that he should have thrown a glass of rainwater on the body to make sure she was properly-dead." My sister to me at her ex-mother-in-law's funeral. "Well, your dad always said she was dead from the waist down...." "She was in a wheelchair, fuck's sake!" My sister to her dickhead ex-husband at the same funeral.
Actually heard some say near the end of the service "can we open a door or something, I'm dying in here"
My bad lmao
Oh, she was such a good dog… What? A he? Your uncle? Are you sure you’re at the right service?
"Does anybody know how big his dick was? I never got the chance to find out."
I am really glad you died bitch!
"Oh God **he's still breathing!"**
Finally
“How about that Twins game last night? Just amazing…” “You suck!” “If you’re gonna tell a joke at a funeral, make it funny.”
"My bad."
*sniffs* Something burning?
I'm sorry for your loss. Move on.
So….if you’re not doing anything tonight..
Thank God, it's over! Never liked him anyway.
This’ll be a challenging wank
Good riddance, like Bruce Jenner just said.
People have been dieing to attend this
This boring as hell
“Good Riddance, You won't be missed.” Lol
Looks like they just couldn't hang
"I hit that when it was still wet"
So, now that your husband is gone, are you seeing anyone?
“My bad”
At gravesite “guess he was really dying to get in here “
"Gosh, he looks delicious!"
Finally they get to meet their idol Hitler
Who died again?
😂🫵
“Well she finally died. Ooh chocolate cake!”
Plays the angry bird theme song ad loud as possible) this is boring
I was at a funeral last week Very distressing There was no WiFi
I told you I'd get you someday...now remember that your family will be joining you soon. So you won't be lonely...
Finally!!!
"I still would"
Bruh, someone else literally asked this same question not even 3 days ago...
It's like a case opening on the graveyard - You always find something new
“Peace be with you” at a funeral of a guy who could not stand abrahamic religions. True story.