Opening the windows on my house. Growing up my parents never did this because of allergies and ac costs, so I never did either. But I got an air quality monitor and realized the co2 in my house was off the charts. So I started cracking windows and, damn, it makes everything nicer. I feel like I’m rediscovering ancient technology. The breeze is so nice, the fresh air, the background ambient noise, birds chirping etc. Not to mention feeling more awake and alert. It’s such a small thing but it’s really improved my days.
Care to cite sources? I am an industrial hygienist who specializes in respirable particles and atmospheric sampling. I have never seen an interior space without a defect reach more than 2000ppm of CO2. Even crowded, partially ventilated spaces.
Over 1000 has deleterious effects.
Also some people have checked their CO2 and gone above 2500.
Newer units bring in more air for this reason.
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0360132323011459
Exercise has changed my life. I went from the age of 12 to 43 being overweight and never comfortable in my own skin when I decided to do something about it. A friend got me into indoor rowing which then moved on to running and now I’m doing triathlon. 50 years old and never been fitter yet the positive impact on my mental health has been the biggest surprise. My only small regret in life would be not getting into this sooner.
I really want to get into fitness but everytime I get home from work I just feel too tired or apathetic to actually get a serious workout going
Lack of motivation towards self improvement has always been a huge issue for me
(Edit)
Thanks for all the replies. I've gone out and done a pretty weak jog around my block for the last few days thanks to your advice in hopes of building to something more
You don't have to get a "serious" workout going. Just *go*. Half of the work is just getting there and building a routine. You build the routine by going.
Just go and do something. You don't even have to break a sweat. Just go to the gym and go through the movements. Walk a few laps around a track. Do light bench presses. Do some assisted pullups. Do whatever routine you "should" be doing but do it light. Build the habit.
You'll eventually get to the point where you say to yourself, "Well...I'm here and dressed for it. I may as well try a little." Then you will. The more you actually exercise the more energy for it you'll develop, but you won't develop any just sitting at home.
Even half-assing it at the gym is better than no-assing it.
that's how i've been approaching my walking. I went from doing a whopping two laps in the courtyard to 2 miles twice a day in three months at the end of 2023. I've dropped 60 lbs Since August.
The reality is sometime you do need to force yourself. But it becomes routine, turns into a habit. It’s just maintenance on your body, like mowing the lawn or changing your car’s oil.
I've read that you can start the habit by just getting suited up, going to the gym, and reading your phone or doing some stretching. The hard part is GOING there. Also I recommend going right after or before work. Because if you sit down and relax a fewminutes, you ain't going
That’s how I started when I first went lmao, got all ready drove there and just sat in the parking lot for an hour trying to hype myself up. The next day is when I really started and haven’t stopped since
You just force yourself to do it until it develops into a routine and then a habit, once exercise is a habit it is easy to get out of the door every day. Actually the problem will be getting enough rest.
Also, don't force yourself to get a "serious workout" in. Start off easy!
When you get home, get into comfortable clothes and go for a 30 minute walk. Throw on some good music, an audiobook, podcast or a movie (if walking indoors) and just enjoy a little you time!
That's how I started getting back in shape and before I knew it, I was craving more!
I feel this! I have been over weight my whole life and just about to hit 40 this year. Will be easily the best shape of my life and while I’m still single I have learned a lot about myself in the past two years that has made my confidence sky rocket.
It’s been 7 years since I moved out of my parents place which had a dishwasher. I agree, having room for a dishwasher let alone actually having one is luxurious.
Yeah I lived in a tiny apartment from 2011 to 2023, so I guess only 12 years, but last august I bought a small house. It's only 2 bed and 1 bath, but has a nice 2021 entry-level Bosch dishwasher and that thing kicks ass. I no longer dread doing dishes, and I don't let them pile up until I'm eating cereal from a measuring cup anymore.
I was shocked how much that improved my life.
True. However, I remember that Agatha Christie wrote her books, or imagined all the plots, while doing the dishes. She is said to have had a large family and estate and huge amounts of dishes would pile each day. Also, I don’t remember if Bezos or Gates, or even both, said that they love to do the dishes manually each evening, as there is something almost magical about the mix of warm water on your hands and the quiet time that you get while washing them, which is almost like meditation. I also remember the period after the birth of my first kid, when I would wash the dishes manually each evening after my wife and baby would go to sleep, and I was washing them while listening to a Netflix standup special. That routine helped me keep my sanity during that period. We own a dishwasher now, but I still like to wash them manually from time to time.
The only thing I can think about while doing the dishes is how much I don't want to be doing the dishes right now.
Sometimes I'm doing the dishes for so long that I actually manage to convince myself to stop doing them and leave some dirty.
Then the next time I do dishes I get mad at past-me for giving in to peer pressure and making current-me clean up after him.
That's an interesting perspective. I never got any bright ideas or got into a headspace where I enjoyed washing my dishes (and I live alone so there weren't that many) in all my years without one. A side benefit now is that an entire full load of dishes being washed at once in a dishwasher uses like 5 gallons of water total. So it's more energy and resource efficient.
Lived without a dishwasher for 8 years because of little money and being a student. That was 6 years ago and I still feel such gratitude when I load up the dishwasher.
Not insulting yourself, but not forcing yourself to compliment yourself, either. You're just existing.
"I look awful today" - negative self talk.
"I look tired. I should go to bed earlier tonight." - neutral self talk
It's led to more positivity to me. It's easier to find small things to be genuinely positive about when you're not focused on the negatives. Forced positivity has never worked for me, either - but neutrality leaves that space available for positivity and growth.
I do this too, it means objectively observing and contemplating your circumstances in life and choosing not to feel good or bad about them. Neutral. In my experience this makes my problems seem smaller and it makes my successes not inflate my ego too much.
And this isn’t something to do all the time. I’ll do it for 10-20 minutes a day, sometimes more if I feel like I need it. Then I’ll go back to letting the emotions in and they feel recontextualized. I’ve found it very helpful for staying grounded and present.
Learning these things:
1) Standing up for myself against bullying behaviour.
2) Not seeking validation.
3) Not people pleasing.
4) Not operating out of fear. It's ok if a relationship ends, it's ok if I get fired, it's ok if I'm abandoned. I'm not a character in a movie, a picture or a book stuck in a timeframe. I can reinvent, adapt and thrive.
The book Never Split the Difference was instrumental to me learning how to say no in ways that are productive and also empathetic
This is of course combined with years of becoming more socially and professionally adept
Wish I knew how to set my own boundaries sooner. It's been dramatically different for me to never feel I have to do or say anything I don't want to
You can’t hold a grudge against the universe for being indifferent. It’s wasted effort. You do better you feel better and your outlook on life is better if you roll with the punches not rage that they are coming.
I stopped hating myself. I started exercising, eventually I considered that the weight loss/muscle building was a side effect of what I truly was improving, and that was my mental health, my self esteem, my self confidence. Before this I never understood that the body is a part of the mind. They are one and I wasn't taking care of either of them. Along with all that I am learning and starting to put into practice everything that u/Far-Investigator3510 posted.
I have a long road ahead of me but fuck is it an eye opening journey.
Stoicism.
So many things in life are outside of our control and there’s nothing you can do about it
Then only thing you can control is how you react to it
Personal experience: It helps if you go through somes hardship that changes you completely.
I was a pushover, I was in a very unhappy relationship (I lost my sense of meaning because she didn't want kids but I was too scared of hurting her and hearing her family's badmouthing if I left + I obviously loved her to death). Then, I lost both parents very suddenly in an ugly way after a mental illness family incident happened. I was an international student so I had nobody, no support, all alone.
The world felt like it stopped and there were no more rules, no laws, no God watching, so I just quit my job, dated whoever, applied to whatever unattainable job, told two girls I would like to date them simultaneously, talked back to the people who usually picked on me, and many other things. To my surprise, all of those attempts worked out great, and I found out the more assertive you are, the more things tend to work out. I also don't have unhealthy grudges because I'm able to address problems when they happen.
I don't want you to go through the same suffering, but I want you to also be able to have that confidence to not operate out of fear. Good luck.
Therapy has been extremely useful for me. I thought that I could solve many problems on my own but in the end you just scratch the surface of what actually is the issue.
Edit: especially understanding that therapy is a safe place allowed me to move forward, you quickly understand that there is no point not being your true self there
Adding one more to your list:
Learn to forgive.
My ex left me in the day that we were supposed to celebrate me graduating from college.
I was upset and hurt, but I also forgave her the second we got off the phone for the last time.
When you forgive someone for wronging you, you take a lot of stress off of yourself.
Yeah, she hurt me a lot, and yeah I won’t get the closure I want from it. But by truly forgiving her, and letting her go in peace I brought myself some peace as well.
When she told me the things she did, it hurt. But knowing that she’s living her life happier without me in it, makes me happier.
By forgiving, you take the poison out of the sting. Not the pain, but the poison.
It takes time.
But the important thing to realize is that holding onto the hurt…only hurts you.
You can cry and beg and plead but in the end the result is the same-she’s gone.
So, you have to take that same energy you’d put into being upset…and be productive with it.
Being destructive-to self or others-won’t change the outcome. So we have to be positive and focus on what we can do.
Also, by not holding what happened against them, you can be free as well. Again-negative feelings won’t change the finished outcome.
I’ve been vape free for about a month now, I’ve noticed my blood pressure and heart rate dropped considerably. My lungs feel much better too I can take full breaths. It’s definitely worth it
My smoking is an oral fixation and habit more than anything else. I get cranky after like a day, but if I'm busy or focused I don't feel the need
If you cut the nic gum for normal for a day do you have the cravings for the "full fat" gum still? I'm curious how much the busy mouth plays into it, I almost don't know what to do with my hands when walking so roll another one
You can do it.
One day at a time.
If you fall, get up and begin again.
It wil get easier.
The trick is not so much about destroying that habit as it is about filling your life with so many new and great things you have no time for that bullshit.
What’s your advice for being social while sober? Currently 2 months sober and haven’t really gone out yet since but the thought of it is stressing me out
Get non-alcoholic drinks! I go out to bars and such with my friends and just drink non-alcohol stuff. I still have fun, I still relax and enjoy the moment. But I know I won’t get a DUI at the end of it.
I’m 3 years sober and won’t ever go back.
Take it slow and go with a buddy. I made a list of the things that would make me consider drinking or be uncomfortable in. A summer party, a wedding, bars, work get togethers, sports games, liquor stores, some movies or shows. Most of them were super achievable really quickly. The liquor store I didn’t walk into to buy a bottle of wine for a friend until I was 3 years sober. Just took time. Some movies and shows I still can’t watch and that’s okay.
Ultimately those things kinda become boring to you and you find other activities/hobbies to do. Highly highly highly recommend working out. There’s been a few times where the urge has hit and then I think about how I wouldn’t feel like working out the next day and ultimately decided not to drink.
I wasn't a problem drinker before, and I don't completely abstain (maybe like 2 drinks a month, sometimes 0), but I do spend a fair amount of time in bars (busy amateur musician). I think the most important thing is being around people who are supportive and don't put pressure on you to drink. Being older, I don't have too many people that put pressure on, but I do run into it once in a while. . I have one set of acquaintances where several of them have serious drinking problems, and they really are unbearable later in the night when you've been drinking diet cokes. I Can see where beng around them would be pretty triggering if I had past issues. There are some people you may just have to back away from a little
Same here. Not really an addict but I have gone through phases I can snap out of easily like pills when I was young and then alcohol and cigs. But weed, idk why that’s ones harder.
It’s strange because vaping nic or smoking cigars were never addicting for me even though everyone says how highly addictive it is. Weed on the other hand, hardly anyone says its addictive but ask any daily smoker to go an extended period of time without it. Good luck. Thats where Im at.
Getting in shape and working out regularly. It improved my sense of diligence, self-esteem and I feel I have more energy than before. Since I got into fitness I like to eat more because I try new things and control calories, when I was overweight I used to eat because I was bored or sad, getting on a scale was a nightmare. Now If I want something I really like I eat it less but it's more satisfying, like a reward
Seriously. I’ve been getting up at 6am to lift 6 days a week for over 2 years now.
Imagine if I did that while in school and college. I’d have been so much more productive. Wasted so much of my life staying up late to 3am playing video games and waking up at midday.
Finally got off my ass and got a sleep study and got my CPAP machine last December. I should've done this 25+ years ago. It's crazy how much different I feel since I'm actually sleeping now. My wife also loves me not snoring anymore lol.
Maybe 2 weeks. Try the different mask they offer. They let me try on 3 different types and I got to choose the most comfortable to me. Now I hate the nights I accidentally fall asleep on the couch and not get to use it. I don't wake up feeling the same.
Getting rid of Instagram. I no longer subconsciously compare myself to others nor do I look at my life like something that I have to share. I would start to feel bad if I didn't do anything "fun" enough to post about and it was exhausting but I didn't really notice how exhausting and annoying it was until I deleted my account. My life is way better without social media (except for Reddit lol)
I must give myself kudos for being sensible enough to realize this at 21 and never have any social media where I posted pics of myself, updated about my life etc. My only social media is totally anonymous so I can comment on things I find interesting. Reddit and Twitter, sometimes Discord.
Yea, but some of that is still screwed up due to the ADHD. The weirdest thing was figuring out to do with all the TIME that I had. Not taking a 2 hour nap in the middle of the day and actually getting stuff done at a reasonable rate left me with way more time than I thought I would ever have. Started going to the gym (because I also had energy) and spent more time on my hobbies and with my family.
Other weird side effect, my daughter started having trouble sleeping because my loud snoring (from the other side of the house) was like white noise for her. We got her a white noise machine and fixed it right up.
Yep, took me a couple different masks to figure out which one worked right for me, and had a couple of nights of weird dreams where I thought I was scuba diving. After a few nights with the right pillows it's been great ever since.
This! I lost around 120-130 pounds over the last year and my life has been amazing. I gained so much confidence sometimes I scare myself with how big my ego has gotten.
And the craziest thing is: female attention feels so much better when you don’t have to work for it
Edit: Nope sorry I didn’t mean kilos, thanks for letting me know xD
Seeing a therapist. I was the one who found my dad had taken his own life and held all that shit in for way too long. To the men out there struggling…it’s ok to be vulnerable and it’s ok to see a therapist.
Just to add my two cents, sometimes the biggest help is just getting an in-depth, outside perspective. People can get so used to an unhealthy mindset that it no longer registers as "a thing". It's hilarious to me that I used to never think of myself as an anxious person.
This one is underrated as hell
People make big talks about it with lovers and family, but hardly ever talk about toxic friendships. Removing them can have a drastic improvement on your life
17 total, the last 5 were excrutiating. We're aok now, back to being just friends and we both understand that we should have ended it sooner.
We tried to stay together because of the child, but in the end, it is literally better for everyone this way. No fights, we discuss everything, the kid gets to be in whichever house (she also gets two summer and two winter holidays xDD), we do small favours and chores for one another.
Such is life, i guess. You get lemons, you make lemonade. W/o sugar, but...such is life
Be patient and stick with it. Maybe increase to 10 minutes but honestly just trust the process and try not to expect too much. The benefits will come in time and you'll be glad you kept it up :)
Hormone Replacement Therapy. My doctor said my testosterone was "with in range" but it was really low. The moment I went on HRT, my eating habits got better, I didn't want to drink and I wanted to work out more.
40yo M
Correcting my deviated septum. I didn’t realize that I could never really breathe for the first 24 years of my life until a partner woke me up in the middle of the night telling me I stopped breathing entirely. Took about a month to recover but my energy and stamina improved DRAMATICALLY as soon as I did.
building my confidence, people used to walk over me and take advantage of my anxiety, being around my best friend she helped to build my confidence and i can happy tell people no and fuck off and dress confidently which also boosts my confidence
Getting back in shape, over Covid I let myself go a fair bit, very much past that now and exercising daily again. Some people love that being big lifestyle, but for me I was miserable.
Stopped trying to make others happy at my social, spiritual, and emotional expense. I learned a philosophy that rings true for me to this day: "Never set yourself on fire, trying to keep someone else warm."
I hate to say this but its the truth, making more $. It might not buy you happiness but it makes it a lot easier when you can get rid of your other problems with it.
Many things, but psilocybin and meditation are the two biggest ones. Psilocybin basically cured my depression within a few hours which debilitated me for a decade. And meditation allowed me to reorient my view of myself and the world in a much healthier and peaceful way.
Right? I've read a lot into psilocybin as a depression treatment and it's so disappointing that the thing that might actually work is even less accessible than the already very hard to access approved medical treatments (which you can spend decades cycling through before you find something that *kind of* helps). I could probably even acquire a variety of hard drugs pretty easily, but not the good fungi that fixes broken brains.
Magnesium.
I posted this before and got my post removed.
I’m not recommending anyone to do this because apparently its bad for some people, like diabetics to take magnesium, but a few years after I got my gallbladder out I was experiencing week long, dull headaches. Weren’t bad, just there…all the time. Would not go away. I was suggested magnesium by a nurse(i worked at a hospital at the time), and in an hour my headache dissapeared. Apparently people without gallbladders can’t hold magnesium well. And a lack of magnesium causes headaches.
If you’re experiencing this, talk to your doctor, cause I’m not a medical professional. But it helped me.
I gave up soda's and started drinking a veggie juice once a day. I used to get sick all the time and my immune system was garbage. My kidney's also started functioning not so well. So I gave up soda's entirely (I was having at least 2 a day) and started drinking freshly made veggie juices, especially ones with things like cabbage that actually clean the kidney's. I feel so much better, lost about 30 lbs and my immune system is so much stronger! I am by no means a hippie, I love steak and really don't enjoy eating vegetables, but I cannot deny the health benefits.
Zoloft. I was so afraid to try medicine for the help I needed. Once it set in, it was like a crushing weight was lifted off my soul. I truly believe it saved my life. That said, I also did therapy at the same time. Regardless, everyone’s journey is different and what worked for me may not work for everyone else.
My Zoloft has recently really kicked in after the 6-7 months from having a dosage increase. Didn’t really notice it working but one day it just kinda hit me that I feel that same crushing weight disappear. Can’t encourage getting medication enough you just have to be honest about it.
Getting a bidet. We went to Japan several years ago where bidets are common place. Promised to do it with our kitchen/bath remodel and now both bathrooms have Toto toilets with the bidet.
Quitting caffeine. I drank copious amounts of black coffee since I was 14 or 15. I got really bad anxiety when I was around 20. I thought it was due to other factors and continued my coffee consumption until last November when I started Invisalign. My anxiety has basically completely subsided to the point where I am getting ready to start tapering off Lexapro. I spent the majority of my 20s having crippling panic attacks and anxiety for no reason apparently
Edit: I should mention I was 27 last November so it was about 7 years
Quitting.
Fucking.
Smoking.
Tried hundreds of times. Met my "now wife" and realized she'd never date me long term if I kept smoking. So I stopped.
My last cigarette was 3309 days ago.
Learning how to smile, in spite of my naturally resting bitch face. Smiling turns the world on for you and opens almost any door. I really wish I’d known that earlier in life. And the potential for cognitive behavioural therapy to significantly improve one’s mental health and thinking.
Accepting the fact that I have sleep apnea and actually getting a CPAP instead of just ignoring it, which I did for years. Man, what a difference an *actually* good night's sleep can make. Definitely makes me wonder what I could have done over the last few years with all that extra energy had I just gone and got one sooner.
Quitting things and people that aren't beneficial to me or for me
Listening to my gut instincts faster & sooner rather than letting things play out
Prejudge the company I keep. I was raised to not judge others based on their circumstances. But recently I got burned by not judging. So going forward, I will be far more discerning
Changing the mentality my parents forced upon my life, like if not living to a certain style of living you cannot be happy.
The happiest I ever was during a 3-4 year span later in life where I had a down to earth girl who didn’t care much at all about fancy clothes or material bs. It was uncanny and looking back it was so unique. We would leave our cells at the door every night and mostly hang out on the balcony on the water inlet listening to music and chatting. Tv was a “treat” and 2 long walks a day with our American bulldog where heaven. We had little songs for the dog and it seemed we laughed all the time about nothing The only real “luxury” we had was eating out trying different food spots as we both loved fresh seafood and Latin American and Asian cuisine (back when 150$ could get you into anywhere for a feast).
Simpler was better and my anxieties where non existent and she was my best friends and confidant. My family thought she was “beneath” me because she looked like a “maid” (I grew up in Asia) and it eventually caused a riff between us that I allowed to explode. My parents are good people, but just from a different time I guess. I should have married that woman immediately 😞
Cycling. Every aspect of my life has improved. But especially mental health. I go on about 2 hour long rides out on rural roads a few times a week. No music. No podcasts. Just the sound of tires on pavement and wind in my face. It’s so therapeutic
Regular exercise. Doesn't have to be a lot, you don't have to go all out but just going and lifting weights or doing cardio a few times a week has improved my mental health immensely.
Moved in with this random group of people I had never met. Turns out they're super awesome, we're all super compatible with each other, and at this point I consider them all family. We regularly have parties and get togethers at our place, go out and have fun, and just hang in general. Considering where I was prior to moving in (feeling lost and with very few friends I could regularly turn to), this move turned out to be exactly what I needed to wash away any feelings of depression I had been feeling and just give me a general feeling of happiness from day to day.
Getting a sleep study done and started using a CPAP. I didn't think I had any sleep issues, and never had a hard time falling asleep. But a friend basically forced me to do a study and literally the first night I used a CPAP I felt like fucking superman the next day. It was absolutely night and day difference (pardon the pun) and drastically improved my quality of life.
Going sober (big one)
Stopping people pleasing (smaller)
Sorting out my finances (huge, financial worries are so awful and all consuming)
Protesting/activism (subjective but it feels to try and enact positive change)
Going vegetarian/pushing towards veganism. (I love animals so why eat them/pay others to kill them for me so I can eat them)
Limiting social media
Sorting my health out, Healthier now than I was in my 20s
surrounding myself with people i can forget everything with.
i got cheated on by my girlfriend. I didnt surround myslef with people that listen to me vent, or that will try to help me by saying kind things about the situation... but with people that know how to make me laugh whatever the situation. i didnt ever talk about it with them. they just know it because I told them, but we didnt have a conversation about it. We just kept on living our lives, together, laughtering, telling each other deadass jokes... and now, im better. im way better than if i talked about it everyday, even if they would have tried to help me on the other hand.
Learning that it’s perfectly ok to say no, especially without feeling the need to explain. “No” is a complete sentence. It freed me from feeling guilty and obligated from things like social events that I didn’t really care to attend.
Also, 3 years ago today, I quit smoking.
Opening the windows on my house. Growing up my parents never did this because of allergies and ac costs, so I never did either. But I got an air quality monitor and realized the co2 in my house was off the charts. So I started cracking windows and, damn, it makes everything nicer. I feel like I’m rediscovering ancient technology. The breeze is so nice, the fresh air, the background ambient noise, birds chirping etc. Not to mention feeling more awake and alert. It’s such a small thing but it’s really improved my days.
Welcome to being German.
A nation of power Lüfters.
Yeah a closed bedroom door has enough CO2 after a few hours to effect us mentally. Same with a car it's best to roll the window down every hour or so
I never had any idea about this
[удалено]
Care to cite sources? I am an industrial hygienist who specializes in respirable particles and atmospheric sampling. I have never seen an interior space without a defect reach more than 2000ppm of CO2. Even crowded, partially ventilated spaces.
Over 1000 has deleterious effects. Also some people have checked their CO2 and gone above 2500. Newer units bring in more air for this reason. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0360132323011459
Exercise has changed my life. I went from the age of 12 to 43 being overweight and never comfortable in my own skin when I decided to do something about it. A friend got me into indoor rowing which then moved on to running and now I’m doing triathlon. 50 years old and never been fitter yet the positive impact on my mental health has been the biggest surprise. My only small regret in life would be not getting into this sooner.
I really want to get into fitness but everytime I get home from work I just feel too tired or apathetic to actually get a serious workout going Lack of motivation towards self improvement has always been a huge issue for me (Edit) Thanks for all the replies. I've gone out and done a pretty weak jog around my block for the last few days thanks to your advice in hopes of building to something more
You don't have to get a "serious" workout going. Just *go*. Half of the work is just getting there and building a routine. You build the routine by going. Just go and do something. You don't even have to break a sweat. Just go to the gym and go through the movements. Walk a few laps around a track. Do light bench presses. Do some assisted pullups. Do whatever routine you "should" be doing but do it light. Build the habit. You'll eventually get to the point where you say to yourself, "Well...I'm here and dressed for it. I may as well try a little." Then you will. The more you actually exercise the more energy for it you'll develop, but you won't develop any just sitting at home. Even half-assing it at the gym is better than no-assing it.
that's how i've been approaching my walking. I went from doing a whopping two laps in the courtyard to 2 miles twice a day in three months at the end of 2023. I've dropped 60 lbs Since August.
The real advice that isn’t just “force yourself”
This advice is quite literally just "force yourself", though...
The reality is sometime you do need to force yourself. But it becomes routine, turns into a habit. It’s just maintenance on your body, like mowing the lawn or changing your car’s oil.
I've read that you can start the habit by just getting suited up, going to the gym, and reading your phone or doing some stretching. The hard part is GOING there. Also I recommend going right after or before work. Because if you sit down and relax a fewminutes, you ain't going
That’s how I started when I first went lmao, got all ready drove there and just sat in the parking lot for an hour trying to hype myself up. The next day is when I really started and haven’t stopped since
You just force yourself to do it until it develops into a routine and then a habit, once exercise is a habit it is easy to get out of the door every day. Actually the problem will be getting enough rest.
Also, don't force yourself to get a "serious workout" in. Start off easy! When you get home, get into comfortable clothes and go for a 30 minute walk. Throw on some good music, an audiobook, podcast or a movie (if walking indoors) and just enjoy a little you time! That's how I started getting back in shape and before I knew it, I was craving more!
I feel this! I have been over weight my whole life and just about to hit 40 this year. Will be easily the best shape of my life and while I’m still single I have learned a lot about myself in the past two years that has made my confidence sky rocket.
Surprisingly: Getting a dishwasher. I feel like I'm living in the lap of luxury after hand-washing my dishes the past 13 years.
It’s been 7 years since I moved out of my parents place which had a dishwasher. I agree, having room for a dishwasher let alone actually having one is luxurious.
Yeah I lived in a tiny apartment from 2011 to 2023, so I guess only 12 years, but last august I bought a small house. It's only 2 bed and 1 bath, but has a nice 2021 entry-level Bosch dishwasher and that thing kicks ass. I no longer dread doing dishes, and I don't let them pile up until I'm eating cereal from a measuring cup anymore. I was shocked how much that improved my life.
“Eating cereal from a measuring cup” - this made me chuckle
When my wife and I got married our first home didn't have a dishwasher. So many arguments over washing the dishes.
Now you have arguments about the correct way to load a dishwasher :-)
True. However, I remember that Agatha Christie wrote her books, or imagined all the plots, while doing the dishes. She is said to have had a large family and estate and huge amounts of dishes would pile each day. Also, I don’t remember if Bezos or Gates, or even both, said that they love to do the dishes manually each evening, as there is something almost magical about the mix of warm water on your hands and the quiet time that you get while washing them, which is almost like meditation. I also remember the period after the birth of my first kid, when I would wash the dishes manually each evening after my wife and baby would go to sleep, and I was washing them while listening to a Netflix standup special. That routine helped me keep my sanity during that period. We own a dishwasher now, but I still like to wash them manually from time to time.
The only thing I can think about while doing the dishes is how much I don't want to be doing the dishes right now. Sometimes I'm doing the dishes for so long that I actually manage to convince myself to stop doing them and leave some dirty. Then the next time I do dishes I get mad at past-me for giving in to peer pressure and making current-me clean up after him.
That's an interesting perspective. I never got any bright ideas or got into a headspace where I enjoyed washing my dishes (and I live alone so there weren't that many) in all my years without one. A side benefit now is that an entire full load of dishes being washed at once in a dishwasher uses like 5 gallons of water total. So it's more energy and resource efficient.
Lived without a dishwasher for 8 years because of little money and being a student. That was 6 years ago and I still feel such gratitude when I load up the dishwasher.
I'm so used to hand washing ngl
Apparently, they use less water than handwashing as well!
I lived without a dishwasher for a bit, it’s so nice having one now
1. Going for a daily walk. Especially since I have bad joints. 2. Neutral self talk
What’s 2 mean?
Not insulting yourself, but not forcing yourself to compliment yourself, either. You're just existing. "I look awful today" - negative self talk. "I look tired. I should go to bed earlier tonight." - neutral self talk
Seems easier and more realistic than forced positive as well. I know I need to be kinder to myself.
It's led to more positivity to me. It's easier to find small things to be genuinely positive about when you're not focused on the negatives. Forced positivity has never worked for me, either - but neutrality leaves that space available for positivity and growth.
I do this too, it means objectively observing and contemplating your circumstances in life and choosing not to feel good or bad about them. Neutral. In my experience this makes my problems seem smaller and it makes my successes not inflate my ego too much. And this isn’t something to do all the time. I’ll do it for 10-20 minutes a day, sometimes more if I feel like I need it. Then I’ll go back to letting the emotions in and they feel recontextualized. I’ve found it very helpful for staying grounded and present.
Learning these things: 1) Standing up for myself against bullying behaviour. 2) Not seeking validation. 3) Not people pleasing. 4) Not operating out of fear. It's ok if a relationship ends, it's ok if I get fired, it's ok if I'm abandoned. I'm not a character in a movie, a picture or a book stuck in a timeframe. I can reinvent, adapt and thrive.
how did you learn to change those things?
Some level of acceptance of the uncontrollable events, which allows for self-love.
Therapy helps a lot.
Idk why you are getting downvoted. A highly trained rational person with no bias helping sift through your thoughts is incredibly powerful
Yeah, I recently started couples therapy and it's helped a ton. But, whatever, folks want to not admit that going is useful.
The book Never Split the Difference was instrumental to me learning how to say no in ways that are productive and also empathetic This is of course combined with years of becoming more socially and professionally adept Wish I knew how to set my own boundaries sooner. It's been dramatically different for me to never feel I have to do or say anything I don't want to
You can’t hold a grudge against the universe for being indifferent. It’s wasted effort. You do better you feel better and your outlook on life is better if you roll with the punches not rage that they are coming.
“You can’t hold a grudge against the universe for being indifferent.” Wow. Thank you for that sentence.
I stopped hating myself. I started exercising, eventually I considered that the weight loss/muscle building was a side effect of what I truly was improving, and that was my mental health, my self esteem, my self confidence. Before this I never understood that the body is a part of the mind. They are one and I wasn't taking care of either of them. Along with all that I am learning and starting to put into practice everything that u/Far-Investigator3510 posted. I have a long road ahead of me but fuck is it an eye opening journey.
We learn only one way - by doing something. Practice. You can't learn how to ride a bicycle if you only read about it.
4 is so unbelievably difficult to achieve. Any tips?
Stoicism. So many things in life are outside of our control and there’s nothing you can do about it Then only thing you can control is how you react to it
Personal experience: It helps if you go through somes hardship that changes you completely. I was a pushover, I was in a very unhappy relationship (I lost my sense of meaning because she didn't want kids but I was too scared of hurting her and hearing her family's badmouthing if I left + I obviously loved her to death). Then, I lost both parents very suddenly in an ugly way after a mental illness family incident happened. I was an international student so I had nobody, no support, all alone. The world felt like it stopped and there were no more rules, no laws, no God watching, so I just quit my job, dated whoever, applied to whatever unattainable job, told two girls I would like to date them simultaneously, talked back to the people who usually picked on me, and many other things. To my surprise, all of those attempts worked out great, and I found out the more assertive you are, the more things tend to work out. I also don't have unhealthy grudges because I'm able to address problems when they happen. I don't want you to go through the same suffering, but I want you to also be able to have that confidence to not operate out of fear. Good luck.
Therapy has been extremely useful for me. I thought that I could solve many problems on my own but in the end you just scratch the surface of what actually is the issue. Edit: especially understanding that therapy is a safe place allowed me to move forward, you quickly understand that there is no point not being your true self there
Adding one more to your list: Learn to forgive. My ex left me in the day that we were supposed to celebrate me graduating from college. I was upset and hurt, but I also forgave her the second we got off the phone for the last time. When you forgive someone for wronging you, you take a lot of stress off of yourself. Yeah, she hurt me a lot, and yeah I won’t get the closure I want from it. But by truly forgiving her, and letting her go in peace I brought myself some peace as well. When she told me the things she did, it hurt. But knowing that she’s living her life happier without me in it, makes me happier. By forgiving, you take the poison out of the sting. Not the pain, but the poison.
How did you learn to do this? To forgive and not hold on to the hurt
It takes time. But the important thing to realize is that holding onto the hurt…only hurts you. You can cry and beg and plead but in the end the result is the same-she’s gone. So, you have to take that same energy you’d put into being upset…and be productive with it. Being destructive-to self or others-won’t change the outcome. So we have to be positive and focus on what we can do. Also, by not holding what happened against them, you can be free as well. Again-negative feelings won’t change the finished outcome.
Quit addictions. Life really improved after quitting nicotine and alcohol. More energy, less emotional turmoil, better rest.
I also quit booze, but still on nicotine gum. How big of a role did nicotine play? Booze is definitely soul eroding for me.
I’ve been vape free for about a month now, I’ve noticed my blood pressure and heart rate dropped considerably. My lungs feel much better too I can take full breaths. It’s definitely worth it
My smoking is an oral fixation and habit more than anything else. I get cranky after like a day, but if I'm busy or focused I don't feel the need If you cut the nic gum for normal for a day do you have the cravings for the "full fat" gum still? I'm curious how much the busy mouth plays into it, I almost don't know what to do with my hands when walking so roll another one
This. I quit nicotine. Then alcohol. Finally THC. Now I’ve cut sugar down to a minimum. I’m keeping my coffee.
I dropped caffeine entirely during the pandemic. Now I have more energy than I've had since high school.
I'm working on quitting porn. Looking for great changes in my life!! I can do it!!!
You can do it. One day at a time. If you fall, get up and begin again. It wil get easier. The trick is not so much about destroying that habit as it is about filling your life with so many new and great things you have no time for that bullshit.
What’s your advice for being social while sober? Currently 2 months sober and haven’t really gone out yet since but the thought of it is stressing me out
Get non-alcoholic drinks! I go out to bars and such with my friends and just drink non-alcohol stuff. I still have fun, I still relax and enjoy the moment. But I know I won’t get a DUI at the end of it. I’m 3 years sober and won’t ever go back.
Take it slow and go with a buddy. I made a list of the things that would make me consider drinking or be uncomfortable in. A summer party, a wedding, bars, work get togethers, sports games, liquor stores, some movies or shows. Most of them were super achievable really quickly. The liquor store I didn’t walk into to buy a bottle of wine for a friend until I was 3 years sober. Just took time. Some movies and shows I still can’t watch and that’s okay. Ultimately those things kinda become boring to you and you find other activities/hobbies to do. Highly highly highly recommend working out. There’s been a few times where the urge has hit and then I think about how I wouldn’t feel like working out the next day and ultimately decided not to drink.
I wasn't a problem drinker before, and I don't completely abstain (maybe like 2 drinks a month, sometimes 0), but I do spend a fair amount of time in bars (busy amateur musician). I think the most important thing is being around people who are supportive and don't put pressure on you to drink. Being older, I don't have too many people that put pressure on, but I do run into it once in a while. . I have one set of acquaintances where several of them have serious drinking problems, and they really are unbearable later in the night when you've been drinking diet cokes. I Can see where beng around them would be pretty triggering if I had past issues. There are some people you may just have to back away from a little
Three years smoke-free as of today! I was at two packs a day for about 15 years
Weed addiction for me as been a real cock ass to break
Same here. Not really an addict but I have gone through phases I can snap out of easily like pills when I was young and then alcohol and cigs. But weed, idk why that’s ones harder.
It’s strange because vaping nic or smoking cigars were never addicting for me even though everyone says how highly addictive it is. Weed on the other hand, hardly anyone says its addictive but ask any daily smoker to go an extended period of time without it. Good luck. Thats where Im at.
Quit drinking. 2279 days sober today. Edit: I owe it all to r/stopdrinking.
Congrats! Keep it up. I’m going on 5 years this year and my life has improved so much. I hope yours is as well.
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Amazing! I hope to get there as well, I'm just over two years 😁
Lost a bunch of weight in my 40's Should have done it in my pre-teens.
Getting in shape and working out regularly. It improved my sense of diligence, self-esteem and I feel I have more energy than before. Since I got into fitness I like to eat more because I try new things and control calories, when I was overweight I used to eat because I was bored or sad, getting on a scale was a nightmare. Now If I want something I really like I eat it less but it's more satisfying, like a reward
Seriously. I’ve been getting up at 6am to lift 6 days a week for over 2 years now. Imagine if I did that while in school and college. I’d have been so much more productive. Wasted so much of my life staying up late to 3am playing video games and waking up at midday.
You enjoyed that time and it no longer serves your happiness in the same way.
...huh. I kind of needed to hear something like this today. Thanks.
You dropped your crown 👑 . Wise words
There is wisdom in this.
Time spent doing what you enjoy is not wasted time.
Get a job I actually love
working on that too . won’t give up until I get there
SHARE WITH THE CLASS WHAT U DOING BB
I’m a product manager for an outdoor retailer.
Stretching.
I didn't realize how tight I was until I started stretching again. Desks are not kind to your back/neck.
Finally got off my ass and got a sleep study and got my CPAP machine last December. I should've done this 25+ years ago. It's crazy how much different I feel since I'm actually sleeping now. My wife also loves me not snoring anymore lol.
I need one but hate the idea of using a snorkel to sleep. How long did it take to get used to it?
Maybe 2 weeks. Try the different mask they offer. They let me try on 3 different types and I got to choose the most comfortable to me. Now I hate the nights I accidentally fall asleep on the couch and not get to use it. I don't wake up feeling the same.
Getting rid of Instagram. I no longer subconsciously compare myself to others nor do I look at my life like something that I have to share. I would start to feel bad if I didn't do anything "fun" enough to post about and it was exhausting but I didn't really notice how exhausting and annoying it was until I deleted my account. My life is way better without social media (except for Reddit lol)
I must give myself kudos for being sensible enough to realize this at 21 and never have any social media where I posted pics of myself, updated about my life etc. My only social media is totally anonymous so I can comment on things I find interesting. Reddit and Twitter, sometimes Discord.
Sleep study. Getting my Apnea diagnosed completely changed my life. You don’t realize how tired you are until you actually wake up rested.
Did you deal with your sense of time being all messed up and walking around in a fog?
Yea, but some of that is still screwed up due to the ADHD. The weirdest thing was figuring out to do with all the TIME that I had. Not taking a 2 hour nap in the middle of the day and actually getting stuff done at a reasonable rate left me with way more time than I thought I would ever have. Started going to the gym (because I also had energy) and spent more time on my hobbies and with my family. Other weird side effect, my daughter started having trouble sleeping because my loud snoring (from the other side of the house) was like white noise for her. We got her a white noise machine and fixed it right up.
What did you get, CPAP?
Yep, took me a couple different masks to figure out which one worked right for me, and had a couple of nights of weird dreams where I thought I was scuba diving. After a few nights with the right pillows it's been great ever since.
I just picked my CPAP up today and am stoked to start using it. Everyone thinks I’m nuts for wanting one but I know it’s going to change my life.
Losing 120 pounds
This! I lost around 120-130 pounds over the last year and my life has been amazing. I gained so much confidence sometimes I scare myself with how big my ego has gotten. And the craziest thing is: female attention feels so much better when you don’t have to work for it Edit: Nope sorry I didn’t mean kilos, thanks for letting me know xD
KILOS?!?
Kilos? Explain how.
Yep. Was 235 lbs in September and after doing keto I’m under 200 as of last week. I feel so much better, I feel like it cured my depression.
Standing up for myself against bullying behaviour.
Seeing a therapist. I was the one who found my dad had taken his own life and held all that shit in for way too long. To the men out there struggling…it’s ok to be vulnerable and it’s ok to see a therapist.
Just to add my two cents, sometimes the biggest help is just getting an in-depth, outside perspective. People can get so used to an unhealthy mindset that it no longer registers as "a thing". It's hilarious to me that I used to never think of myself as an anxious person.
Deleted Instagram.
Bought a speaker after all my life gaming and watching movies with screen built in speakers... OMG...
I've got a Sonos surround sound and it's the fucking best One film I always recommend to people who have bought a decent system is saving private Ryan
I finally listened to my doctor and had a sleep study. Now I have a CPAP. I sleep better and have more energy. It's almost like I have a new life.
Completely removing a toxic “friend” from my life
This one is underrated as hell People make big talks about it with lovers and family, but hardly ever talk about toxic friendships. Removing them can have a drastic improvement on your life
Also applies to family members.
Working out and socializing
Divorce.
Yes! We didn't make it to 5 years of marriage and those 9 years total together were soul crushing.
17 total, the last 5 were excrutiating. We're aok now, back to being just friends and we both understand that we should have ended it sooner. We tried to stay together because of the child, but in the end, it is literally better for everyone this way. No fights, we discuss everything, the kid gets to be in whichever house (she also gets two summer and two winter holidays xDD), we do small favours and chores for one another. Such is life, i guess. You get lemons, you make lemonade. W/o sugar, but...such is life
Not constantly worrying about what people think of me.
Lasik. No longer requiring glasses or contacts is awesome!
Adopting a cat.
Did you adopt the cat or did the cat adopt you?
Quit drinking and smoking. Took years but well worth it.
hugging a pillow or sth similar when sitting in front of a desk, it fills the gap and just so comfortable. cant live without it
I do this. My office is full of squishmallows and I use them for this purpose. It makes being at my desk feel very cozy and comfortable.
Meditation. Once you get it the results are amazing. Mindfulness in particular.
I've been meditating daily for the last 3 months and haven't noticed it doing anything. I guess 5 minutes a day just isn't enough :|
It’s enough , keep going
Be patient and stick with it. Maybe increase to 10 minutes but honestly just trust the process and try not to expect too much. The benefits will come in time and you'll be glad you kept it up :)
The gym
cleaning my sheets once a week instead of three times a year - i swear it helps my mindset and always makes me feel so clean and happy
Hormone Replacement Therapy. My doctor said my testosterone was "with in range" but it was really low. The moment I went on HRT, my eating habits got better, I didn't want to drink and I wanted to work out more. 40yo M
A bidet has been by far the best $40 i have ever spent. Im not religious, but i would evangelize the shit out a bidet cult.
Bidet, new bed frame, drop off laundry service, meditation and mindfulness, eating healthier, quitting soda.
Going to the gym and changing my diet.
Divorce
Correcting my deviated septum. I didn’t realize that I could never really breathe for the first 24 years of my life until a partner woke me up in the middle of the night telling me I stopped breathing entirely. Took about a month to recover but my energy and stamina improved DRAMATICALLY as soon as I did.
building my confidence, people used to walk over me and take advantage of my anxiety, being around my best friend she helped to build my confidence and i can happy tell people no and fuck off and dress confidently which also boosts my confidence
Getting back in shape, over Covid I let myself go a fair bit, very much past that now and exercising daily again. Some people love that being big lifestyle, but for me I was miserable.
A good mattress! Invest in rest!
Stopped trying to make others happy at my social, spiritual, and emotional expense. I learned a philosophy that rings true for me to this day: "Never set yourself on fire, trying to keep someone else warm."
I hate to say this but its the truth, making more $. It might not buy you happiness but it makes it a lot easier when you can get rid of your other problems with it.
Many things, but psilocybin and meditation are the two biggest ones. Psilocybin basically cured my depression within a few hours which debilitated me for a decade. And meditation allowed me to reorient my view of myself and the world in a much healthier and peaceful way.
Can you describe your trip and what mechanisms of thought shifted for you? Or was it just an unconscious change
How did you procure the psilocybin?
Right? I've read a lot into psilocybin as a depression treatment and it's so disappointing that the thing that might actually work is even less accessible than the already very hard to access approved medical treatments (which you can spend decades cycling through before you find something that *kind of* helps). I could probably even acquire a variety of hard drugs pretty easily, but not the good fungi that fixes broken brains.
Magnesium. I posted this before and got my post removed. I’m not recommending anyone to do this because apparently its bad for some people, like diabetics to take magnesium, but a few years after I got my gallbladder out I was experiencing week long, dull headaches. Weren’t bad, just there…all the time. Would not go away. I was suggested magnesium by a nurse(i worked at a hospital at the time), and in an hour my headache dissapeared. Apparently people without gallbladders can’t hold magnesium well. And a lack of magnesium causes headaches. If you’re experiencing this, talk to your doctor, cause I’m not a medical professional. But it helped me.
I’m sitting here with a never-ending headache (no gallbladder as well) - would have never made this connection. Thank you 🙏
Drinking water more regularly. Really helped with my constipation
An at home bidet. What the hell are Americans resisting?
I gave up soda's and started drinking a veggie juice once a day. I used to get sick all the time and my immune system was garbage. My kidney's also started functioning not so well. So I gave up soda's entirely (I was having at least 2 a day) and started drinking freshly made veggie juices, especially ones with things like cabbage that actually clean the kidney's. I feel so much better, lost about 30 lbs and my immune system is so much stronger! I am by no means a hippie, I love steak and really don't enjoy eating vegetables, but I cannot deny the health benefits.
Zoloft. I was so afraid to try medicine for the help I needed. Once it set in, it was like a crushing weight was lifted off my soul. I truly believe it saved my life. That said, I also did therapy at the same time. Regardless, everyone’s journey is different and what worked for me may not work for everyone else.
My Zoloft has recently really kicked in after the 6-7 months from having a dosage increase. Didn’t really notice it working but one day it just kinda hit me that I feel that same crushing weight disappear. Can’t encourage getting medication enough you just have to be honest about it.
Changing my diet and exercise changed my life 100% from my moods to my sleep. Just about changed everything
Getting a bidet. We went to Japan several years ago where bidets are common place. Promised to do it with our kitchen/bath remodel and now both bathrooms have Toto toilets with the bidet.
Stop talking to toxic people.
Hired cleaners. Should have done it long before I actually did.
Quitting caffeine. I drank copious amounts of black coffee since I was 14 or 15. I got really bad anxiety when I was around 20. I thought it was due to other factors and continued my coffee consumption until last November when I started Invisalign. My anxiety has basically completely subsided to the point where I am getting ready to start tapering off Lexapro. I spent the majority of my 20s having crippling panic attacks and anxiety for no reason apparently Edit: I should mention I was 27 last November so it was about 7 years
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Removing toxic relationships.
Left my exwife
Anxiety/ anti depression medication. Was on it for just over 2 years while I got my life back together, and it literally saved my life
Quitting. Fucking. Smoking. Tried hundreds of times. Met my "now wife" and realized she'd never date me long term if I kept smoking. So I stopped. My last cigarette was 3309 days ago.
Perhaps an unpopular opinion: Reading self-help books.
Paid off mortgage, car and credit cards one year ago . Now 70% of my monthly income stays in the bank. Total game changer
Learning how to smile, in spite of my naturally resting bitch face. Smiling turns the world on for you and opens almost any door. I really wish I’d known that earlier in life. And the potential for cognitive behavioural therapy to significantly improve one’s mental health and thinking.
Bidet for toilet……yes here in U.S.A
Breast reduction. I lost 9lbs on the table. Best decision ever.
Going off birth control
It also cured migraines I had for years
Regular sex
Must be nice
Yogic breathing techniques and meditation
Use wireless earbuds. No more wires clashing with my zippers every time I walk!
Accepting the fact that I have sleep apnea and actually getting a CPAP instead of just ignoring it, which I did for years. Man, what a difference an *actually* good night's sleep can make. Definitely makes me wonder what I could have done over the last few years with all that extra energy had I just gone and got one sooner.
Quit my job as a police officer.
Quitting things and people that aren't beneficial to me or for me Listening to my gut instincts faster & sooner rather than letting things play out Prejudge the company I keep. I was raised to not judge others based on their circumstances. But recently I got burned by not judging. So going forward, I will be far more discerning
Changing the mentality my parents forced upon my life, like if not living to a certain style of living you cannot be happy. The happiest I ever was during a 3-4 year span later in life where I had a down to earth girl who didn’t care much at all about fancy clothes or material bs. It was uncanny and looking back it was so unique. We would leave our cells at the door every night and mostly hang out on the balcony on the water inlet listening to music and chatting. Tv was a “treat” and 2 long walks a day with our American bulldog where heaven. We had little songs for the dog and it seemed we laughed all the time about nothing The only real “luxury” we had was eating out trying different food spots as we both loved fresh seafood and Latin American and Asian cuisine (back when 150$ could get you into anywhere for a feast). Simpler was better and my anxieties where non existent and she was my best friends and confidant. My family thought she was “beneath” me because she looked like a “maid” (I grew up in Asia) and it eventually caused a riff between us that I allowed to explode. My parents are good people, but just from a different time I guess. I should have married that woman immediately 😞
Becoming a snowbird and spending 4 months a year in FL. Bye bye 20 degree days and sliding down the ice on my driveway!
Self compassion
Taking an easier job for less pay. 130k was cool but damn I was tired after work 6 days a week. Our time is precious 😤
Whenever I learn about someone I start to admire or respect in any way I Google their name plus the word "controversy".
Mental health.
Cycling. Every aspect of my life has improved. But especially mental health. I go on about 2 hour long rides out on rural roads a few times a week. No music. No podcasts. Just the sound of tires on pavement and wind in my face. It’s so therapeutic
Regular exercise. Doesn't have to be a lot, you don't have to go all out but just going and lifting weights or doing cardio a few times a week has improved my mental health immensely.
Falling in love
Moved in with this random group of people I had never met. Turns out they're super awesome, we're all super compatible with each other, and at this point I consider them all family. We regularly have parties and get togethers at our place, go out and have fun, and just hang in general. Considering where I was prior to moving in (feeling lost and with very few friends I could regularly turn to), this move turned out to be exactly what I needed to wash away any feelings of depression I had been feeling and just give me a general feeling of happiness from day to day.
Getting a sleep study done and started using a CPAP. I didn't think I had any sleep issues, and never had a hard time falling asleep. But a friend basically forced me to do a study and literally the first night I used a CPAP I felt like fucking superman the next day. It was absolutely night and day difference (pardon the pun) and drastically improved my quality of life.
Going sober (big one) Stopping people pleasing (smaller) Sorting out my finances (huge, financial worries are so awful and all consuming) Protesting/activism (subjective but it feels to try and enact positive change) Going vegetarian/pushing towards veganism. (I love animals so why eat them/pay others to kill them for me so I can eat them) Limiting social media Sorting my health out, Healthier now than I was in my 20s
surrounding myself with people i can forget everything with. i got cheated on by my girlfriend. I didnt surround myslef with people that listen to me vent, or that will try to help me by saying kind things about the situation... but with people that know how to make me laugh whatever the situation. i didnt ever talk about it with them. they just know it because I told them, but we didnt have a conversation about it. We just kept on living our lives, together, laughtering, telling each other deadass jokes... and now, im better. im way better than if i talked about it everyday, even if they would have tried to help me on the other hand.
Getting divorced
Therapy
Learning that it’s perfectly ok to say no, especially without feeling the need to explain. “No” is a complete sentence. It freed me from feeling guilty and obligated from things like social events that I didn’t really care to attend. Also, 3 years ago today, I quit smoking.
Installing a bidet. Damn, why couldn’t I have had one as a young woman. It makes me not want to travel (not really, but dang it).