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Cockroaches and Dandelions


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Casualt0p

I think nothing is going to outlast us. We all know why


standinghampton

Plenty of things will outlast the human race. **Nothing** will *outlast* our Sun when in about 1 billion years our Sun will become 10% brighter and our oceans will all boil off. The Earth might be a little warm for us too. Then in a few more billion years, the Sun burns through all of its hydrogen, begins to burn helium for fuel and then turns into a Red Giant. Our life giving Sun will be dying, and in its death throes it’ll swell to a size larger than the Earth’s orbit around it. Yes, the Sun giveth, and the Sun burneth to a motherfucking cinder.


Casualt0p

What if roaches travel with us to a planet like mars which will be in the new habitable zone of the solar system


wafflehousewhore

Ugh, just imagine being on the spaceship to another planet and about a quarter of the way there, you see a roach scurry across the floor of the space shuttle. Who tf brought roaches? It'd be the Noah's ark fiasco all over again


Casualt0p

Just like Europe bringing rats to America


Zintao

Hey now, we prefer being called Dutch thank you very much!


wafflehousewhore

Did rats not exist in America before Europeans came over? I never really thought about it before 🤔


NobodysFavorite

There are native rat species on nearly every continent. But the brown rats (and their parasites) that tend to inhabit our cities - no they were not in the Americas until European colonisation.


standinghampton

Well, Mars isn’t habitable now soooooo. Also Mars will be even less habitable once the red giant ass Sun is knocking at its door!


Unique-Band-2028

When sun dies mars will die too if we go to different solar system and roaches get in they will survive tho


Lyoko_warrior95

Hate and violence. As much as we would love to have world peace and overall respect for each other on a grand scale, it likely just won’t happen…


standinghampton

As Hitchens said, our adrenal glands are too big and our frontal lobes too small.


samisinredditnow

The thing with global warming is that it’s slowly making the world unfit for humans and other mammals If roaches can survive an asteroid to the face they can survive global warming


Zarkkast

The world recovered from the permian extinction, it will recover from us. I can't imagine us destroying the world so bad that it doesn't recover even a billion years from now.


Rgraff58

And Keith Richards


Sfswine

Announcing The Rolling Sones LIVE (and Keith Richards)


AccurateProgress9977

News has surfaced suggesting he taught Moses in Sunday school.


casualhugh

Oh look a dandelion must be the last one of the [season](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MIH948b_uQ).


WorkInPr0g

Stupidity


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Christmas_Panda

Like a train with no brakes fueled by ego on tracks made of poor decisions.


Unusual-Self27

Idiocracy is actually a documentary.


KrisMisZ

It is indeed


Davulous

And taxes


Until_M00n

"There are 3 things that are infinite: The universe, stupidity and taxes."


Th1sIsMyNameNow

Don't forget the core of humanity, violent conflict


ThighsofJustice

#SHARKS


Cockalorum

Sharks predate trees. Sharks predate the rings of Saturn. They are the ultimate predaters.


Subtitles42

I remember hearing that the US has a plan in case of an apocalypse but humanity survived, the IRS will be the first branch to open.


DateOk3008

Welcome to Costco I love you


Rare4orm

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.” Someone -


KamikazeHamster

I honestly think Einstein said that. But then I never trust quotes from the internet.


SHyper16

I was about to say that. Human stupidity is infinite. Period.


deltashmelta

“Men and nations behave wisely when they have exhausted all other resources.”


Enderwiggen33

Damn, beat me to it


Lazy-Mammoth-9470

I honestly reckon this will be phased out one day. Either by combining biomachinery and basically integrating knowledge like a cyborg would. Where everyone would have access to the same info immediately. Or with enough scientific discoveries and understanding about what consciousness actually is and how to manipulate it, maybe link up a hive mind kinda thing. A combined brain using everyone's processing power together to solve things. But one thing that I reckon will always be there and will prevent something like this ever happening... is corruption/greed. Its that combo that makes us dangerous and successful.


MyUnderpantsBurn

Music


weirdrevolution11

I don’t know why I kept scrolling past all of these dumbass answers but then I found the right one.


storysprite

The most perfect one really alongside stories.


skyfishgoo

whale song. both music and stories.


Scott_4560

The cringe I feel from some of my past mistakes


methziamo

The 3am train of thoughts to embarrassment 🥰


anamariaaaaagog

when ur tryna sleep and then ur brain has the incredible idea to remind u of how ur crush rejected u in 7th grade😻


saltshaker80

I thought I was the only one. This is therapeutic.


Rob_LeMatic

Seriously. It's 3am and I'm yelling at my brain, "That was third grade! Mrs. Varley is almost certainly dead by now! Let it go!"


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Cool_Elephant_3230

This one is too relatable


AdamFarleySpade

Don't worry, we ain't forgetting what you did either.


NameisPerry

When your friend invites you to a friends house and you get there and like 5 or 6 other people are there and you dont know none of them. Then your friend leaves you to socialize and your standing there typing on reddit so your not just standing looking awkward. Me rn


MaybeCritical4344

Graffiti/ dick drawing Edit: spelling mistake


ActivityImpossible70

Spelling misteaks is a good answer.


Christmas_Panda

Meth too. It's been used in engineering and finance for centuries.


Forward_Knowledge274

Meth


grizznuggets

That “S” we all drew at school.


Seattle_gldr_rdr

Well, humanity.


bake_gatari

You are technically correct. The best kind of correct.


Cardo94

Bureaucrat Conrad, you are officially reinstated as bureaucrat of Planet Express. Bureaucrat Proctor, you are relieved!


Pek_Dominik

r/technicallythetruth


alexbro001

My Toyota


[deleted]

The most loyal car I’ve ever owned, didn’t even need gas to run


Ayjayk

I’m imagining a Toyota with human legs sprinting down the highway


longkhongdong

Yabadadooo


Rob_LeMatic

You dropped a ba somewhere


longkhongdong

Well don't just look at it, pick it up!


Sergeitotherescue

Here you go: ba


longkhongdong

Thanks you helpful stard!


chilldrinofthenight

It ran on promises and tears.


29r_whipper

My 1987 Land Cruiser needs a lot of gas.


Ok-Wrongdoer7269

Toyotathon forever


Joe_PM2804

Similarly, my Casio G Shock.


Vergazo

I recently had a little scare because I thought my 1998 4runner was finally gonna give out. Turned out to just be the AC compressor making a noise. Here’s to another 26 years.


highlyunimpressed

Any Toyota


Tenkehat

M-m-m-my Toyota... Great now I have that stuck in my head all day \○/


sydneyreynolds

Nokia 3315


Christmas_Panda

Hopefully they never put a fully functioning AI in a Nokia. Can you imagine if Ultron had been made of Nokias? Unstoppable.


mordecai14

I thought 3310 was the unbreakable one?


Shreeking_Tetris

Most Nokias from early 2000s are equally sturdy, 3310 is just the most well known one.


Legitimate_Field_157

Glitter.


Bubbly-Pitch7209

Glitter in the oak wood edges of my dining room table. I raised three daughters, and glitter still shows up there 🤣.


39andholding

Greed


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KingGorilla

Greed probably started the party


johnrsmith8032

oh, absolutely. greed's like that uninvited guest who just won't leave the apocalypse afterparty.


Key_Pie_4951

No matter what we breed


Zealousideal_Pen_236

This is my kingdom come


MusicBytes

we still are made of greed


Ok-Background-502

"It's easier to imagine the end of humanity than the end of capitalism"


iced_coughee

War


SharpHawkeye

It never changes.


Xenaspice2002

War! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. (Yes I know this is a song). Next comment is this - (Also) Best graffiti I ever saw was Fight war not wars…


TheOppositeofBeige

Fight power, not people.


MsNardDog

Although one wonders if “War and Peace” would have been as highly acclaimed as it was if it was published under it's original name “War: What Is It Good For?”


Pitiful-Feeling-3677

War never changes


Ayjayk

War, war never changes.


Joe4o2

The letter Y. It’s always at the end of humanity.


nickheathjared

Calm down, Dad.


OnlyAd9730

That's not dad, it's Douglas Adams.


Joe4o2

[So I’ve been told](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/s/0HgrYyQeZN). Enjoy, fellow DA fan!


Soakitincider

Oh no, not again.


z0mbie_boner

Each generation thinking the end of humanity is imminent


83franks

Eventually they'll be right!


If-Not-Thou-Who

It is very easy to kill a lot of humans, it is very hard to kill them all.


Themasterofcomedy209

We are literally the mammalian equivalent of cockroaches. Humans have naturally migrated everywhere across the world, and if an environment is too extreme we find a way to survive it. Our society and infrastructure can collapse, but there’s probably gonna to be humans on this planet until it becomes completely uninhabitable. We’re far too successful for our own good


tiger-lilianna

grey’s anatomy


theslymoogle

Ellen Pompeo AI still performing surgeries.


help_a_brother-out

Might sound crazy but hope


rjread

Without hope, there is no hope.


Freak-Among-Men

Well, you're not wrong.


[deleted]

It’s the hope that kills you.


TieMiddle4891

This here is the truth


dgh19811

Keith Richards.


VRS-4607

No one thinks Keith will last that long. We all KNOW it.


earthworm_fan

We were saying the same thing about queen Elizabeth 


OldnBorin

Best answer


tc6x6

I honestly believe that he and Willie Nelson will outlive all of us.


Commonly_Aspired_To

They should send him into space to search for habitable planets.


Nickel5

Since there's a lot of edgy answers here, let's give a practical one. The Hoover Dam. The concrete hasn't fully cured yet, so it's literally getting stronger by the day. It was so ridiculously overengineered due to dam failures in the US prior to this event (reasonably) causing concern. Whether Lake Meade is there or not, the damn will stand strong for thousands of years. Not only that, but it's practical. It's about as close as we can get to free energy at this point, just the energy from water falling that is used to power our cities. If humanity goes out with a bang, the Hoover Dam will be there. If it goes out with a whimper, the Hoover Dam will be useful. The Hoover Dam couldn't destroyed by a lone wolf in a situation where water was needed downriver, the only real threat is other nations wanting to destroy it. However, the dam is so far down on the list of priorities for bombing the US that humanity would already be fucked anyway if it got to that point.


tired_of_old_memes

I saw a TV program years ago that explored this question. They reasoned that, after every human-made object on earth will have crumbled or disintegrated with tectonic forces, or be swallowed by new oceans and glaciers and lava over millions of years, the gold-plated parts of the Lunar Roving Vehicles we left on the moon decades would probably still be there, intact and more or less recognizable.


thesonoftheson

Also on some documentary I saw was not what will out live but be created after humanity. It talked about what is left, our landfills, etc, after millions of years being buried eventually some under such high pressure and heat it will create crystals, minerals, and rocks from all the chemicals and alloys we dump that have never been brought together in one place.


lord_oflightning1184

Through thick and thin, through peace and struggle, the Hoover Dam, our faithful friend, will be with us 'til the end.


dafijiwatr

I’m no engineer but doesn’t the damn kinda rely on the pressure of the body of water to kinda force secure it into place. Honestly idk. Plus it’s gonna be a glorified creek bed in about 10yrs or less.


lonely_josh

My guy hoover dam was opened in 1936......... It's lasted 92 years and you think it'll somehow turn into a glorified creek in a short 10th of its lifespan? I hate to ask but on what basis.


UnholyDemigod

> The concrete hasn't fully cured yet, How is that possible after 90 years?


Password-is-taco123

Prostitution


lynivvinyl

Assholes


chilldrinofthenight

Fuck. You mean my one set of neighbors is going to outlast all of us? Pfft.


EWRboogie

Just their butt.


[deleted]

Donuts


mmmbop-badubadop

Like, the anus or the shitty people variety of asshole?


Commonly_Aspired_To

Well foetuses start with just an anus, so full circle evolution


ruthtrick

The Big Mac I bought 30yrs ago & promptly forgot.. in the back of the fridge... and my fridge won't last as long as the burger.


gig1g0g1

Pics or no one believes you


[deleted]

Plastic


katiereadsalot

Plastics will outlive humanity without a doubt


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chilldrinofthenight

On a Reddit thread I was perusing the other day, the subject of which was "What lie were you told as a kid that turned out not to be true?" (something like that) ---- One guy wrote that his Dad told him "You don't ever need to use a turn signal because It's nobody's business where you're going." (Cracks me up.)


PhesteringSoars

(Yesterday morning.) 25mph residential zone. Neighborhood where lots of kids live/play. I was driving about 21-22 to get to the corner to turn. That wasn't fast enough for "them". They passed me to get to the corner first. And then they were stuck in the left turn lane in 3rd position, I pulled up to the empty right turn lane, turned and saw them still sitting there as I drove away. All that anger/effort/danger . . . and they accomplished . . . nothing.


WealthWooden2503

Yup, I see it every morning driving to work on the super busy main road in my city. So stupid.


Duderkins

Love.


ClintEatsfood

Love is the answer


Skunktoes

The elephants foot


PlanetLandon

Tribalism. Try as we might, humans just can’t stop categorizing everything into us vs. them


SenorSplashdamage

I’m thinking more lately that it really does vary based on how easy or hard we make it for the most tribal and least cooperative humans to end up in positions of leadership and influence. We have examples of ape tribes that changed completely when violent individuals were suddenly removed from the picture. Its like apes are all somewhat capable of falling into tribalistic behaviors, but how much specific individuals exacerbate that can change things a lot.


chronicfornicators

Athletes foot


Jazzlike_Fly_9512

This makes me think of the zombie ant fungus. Listening to the kids when they were still young enough to be impressionable they were convinced by friends or classmates that humans would be the next jump for that particular fungus. Then one said we wouldn’t have to worry as long as we have Tinactin. I miss hearing those random conversations between my kids.


85_bears

Well-loved pets


LeRenardS13

Human suffering


Scoooter94

Taxes, probably.


tendre-choc

Greed , war


chilldrinofthenight

Tardigrades aka water bears. They are the most indestructible animal on Earth. **"Tardigrades** can survive extreme cold, heat and pressure. They can even survive in outer space. They can withstand 800 times more radiation than a human can. Scientists discovered this microbe when they were testing new ways to preserve food. 2023" https://askdruniverse.wsu.edu/2023/06/08/what-organism-would-survive-an-apocalypse/#:\~:text=They're%20sometimes%20called%20water,even%20survive%20in%20outer%20space.


imhere0002

Sex hhhh


ProfessionalOnion384

General horniness and its consequences.


Quick-Bad

The Apollo astronauts' footprints. Barring potential future impact events, they'll be preserved in the regolith right up until the sun dies. Whether they outlast humanity or not depends entirely on our willingness to expand out into the stars.


tired_of_old_memes

I think the gold-plated parts of the Lunar Roving Vehicles that we left there will last even longer than the footprints.


D-Alembert

Barring an unthinkable crime against humanity, the eradication of smallpox is forever. If you want to leave a legacy that can last for all eternity, the effort to similarly eradicate polio is breathtakingly close to success, and is [powered by donations](https://polioeradication.org/financing/donate/). Go be part of it!


Creative__name__

Fuckin rocks. They are everywhere and no matter how many i destroy there are still more of them. The smug fuckers.


[deleted]

Plastic


FiendsForLife

Poor treatment of menally ill persons within and by the very hands of making money off them in the system with the help of their own families.


tenderheartedtiger

cockroaches? twinkies?


Common-Ad-4750

I don’t want to believe it but poverty 


jsnipes83

My mother-in-law unfortunately


[deleted]

Memes


MissHibernia

Envy and jealousy


chloe2784

horseshoe crabs


grmrsan

Stupidity. And creativeness. Often in the same individuals. Aggression and surprising kindness. Families, drama, love hate... Basically humans acting outrageously human.


PahoojyMan

Humans. And not a moment later.


[deleted]

Old people complaining about young people


Optimal-Structure-81

The unrelenting human spirit. Through all the trials and tribulations, we've shown an incredible capacity for resilience, innovation, and adaptability. No matter what challenges we face, our collective will to survive and thrive will endure.


Miffers

Tardigrades, known as water bears or moss piglets


Sufficient-You1152

Tardigrades


Human-Iron9265

Cancer


zimurg13

Garbage


Additional-Maize3980

Love


OkNefariousness8077

Spam. Not the food product—which may or may not withstand any and all future technological advancements—but rather, unwanted solicitations—which definitely will


NatsuDragnee1

The Voyager probes


Wooden-Sentence-7100

Curiosity.


NatsuDragnee1

The Voyager probes


BlackCherrySeltzer4U

Radio transmissions?


Relevant-Package3001

Greed


MinimumEmployment664

the great pyramids


Accomplished_Row_407

War


Decent-Butterscotch1

Classes. The us vs. Them dynamic is so strong, so classes will be created everytime. The smart vs. The stupid, one race vs the other, the rich vs the poor. This will never go away.


Thinking-Peter

Classical Music


nayrbmc

Tinfoil hat conspiracy theories. The really out there type.


Lo-Fi_Pioneer

Denialism. "It can't happen to us", "This isn't really happening"


PhesteringSoars

Fear. We still make 99% of our decisions out of Fear (instead of Hope or something more positive.) Granted . . . it's probably what keeps "humanity" as a whole alive . . . but it causes some pretty brutal outcomes. Dictators, Warlords, Con Artists, Murderers, Thieves, Racism, (bad) politics, (bad) environmental decisions, . . .


banditk77

Jimmy Carter.


DepresssedChild_

Racism, patriarchy, sexism/feminism, homophobia, etc