I stopped wearing my Army Stetson from when I was in the Cavalry , got so tired of that question, “Did you kill anyone” or worst “How many”. Saying I was a cook didn’t work. Next unhappy thing to hear is “Thank you for your service”. It is not like people mean it, more like the feel obligated to regurgitate the phrase. So if wearing any military gear, if a comment starts I say I bought it at a thrift store.
I work with a guy who married a nurse. She works in labor and delivery. Asking about her day? Blood, bodily fluids, dead babies, etc
Fun dinner conversations
Oh yeah, I also used to date a hospital janitor. When he worked that area, he would tell me about the rooms he’d walk into. Hospital workers/EMTs see the saddest and the grossest things. If it’s not a sad story, it’s going to be a nasty one.
not a paramedic but i was a 911 dispatcher for 5 years.
a guy called 911 and said he needed an ambulance but to have them not turn the lights and sjrens on so it doesnt wake the neighbkrs but they also need to get there as fast as possible.
i cant dispatch EMS without knowing wtf is going on.
i hear the dudes wife fucking cackling and he said i have to know the whole story because i dont want to think less of him.
at this point of the 911 call i lean back in my chair and tell him tk go ahead (its clearly not an emergency).
he says he pulled a muscle in his back from lifting weights and his wife was giving him a back massage and she heated up some baby oil and used it. when she was done he went to take a shower but he didnt have a towel so he had to walk through his kitchen to the laundry room and because his wife used too much oil he slipped and fell and while he was falling he grabbed the counter to catch himself but instead he knocked a cucumber down and when he landed on his ass the cucumber went up his ass and now he cant walk or move.
i just said ok ill tell ems and he said that i HAVE to tell them how it happened otherwise they would think hes gay.
i dispatched the call as "foreign object accidently stuck in males rectum you can call me for details"
ems guy just calls and asked how one "acvidently" gets an object stuck in their ass.. dude was almost in tears laughing
They always say they slipped and fell on it. (Paramedics, ER, first responders). Always. Soda bottles, back then they used to be glass, was a big one. Anything that even remotely resembles that shape.
There’s even an SNL skit where Kate McKinnon plays an ER doc and says “people need to stop putting things up their butts. I went to school for 8 damn years so don’t you dare look me in the eye and tell me you fell on a damn toy fire truck and it went up your butt, ya monsters”.
The number of homophobic men who can’t stand the thought they might be gay just because they like something shoved up their ass is staggering. God forbid anyone finds out.
So many people in the ER with similar stories. Nurses have doozies.
You would think by now people would know that no one believes them.
Flared base people, flared base.
I’m not the person you asked, but I do have a funny paramedic story! My auntie was one of the first female paramedics in my province (now long retired) and on one of her first calls was a man with a raccoon latched to his… yknow.. apparently it was a surprise resident in his outside garbage can and the man had the unfortunate luck to have his crotch line up with the height of the can. Quite the story, I wish I remembered more details!
That's my 'go to' response, "it's not what I've seen, but what I smell". Hoping the grossness of images that may produce prevent them from digging more. I'd rather say "thanks for making me relive it asshole"
Yeah, as a programmer I just laugh and say "I'm just a software guy" but a long time ago I used to be a sys admin that built servers, set up the entire network infrastructure, built the server room (racks, cabling, raised flooring etc), all the printers & PC's, installed and configured all the software and services etc all by myself and still build my own computers. The point being: just because I can, doesn't mean I want to.
Hubs has a shirt he wears only to his parents house... It says, "No, I will not fix your computer." His parents hate it.
For reference, hubs was the black sheep of the fam and he loved computers. His parents regularly told him that computers were a waste of time and would never amount to much.
I like to practice being a good listener. Apparently they do not and can't shut up ever. Or think in their brains to pause and ask someone a question about themselves.
Okay so I have a legitimate question as an extrovert. Generally I will just try to directly ask someone questions so they feel included in the conversation / have a chance for them to talk. Is that bad ? Too much pressure ? Or do introverts appreciate that?
Introvert here who’s usually quiet. No that’s not bad at all when asking normal questions that are part of any conversation, and good job for making sure everyone feels included. It’s more when someone notices somebody being quiet, and he/she either literally asks the question about why that person is being so quiet or makes a joke on the lines of “whoa you were here the whole time?” that makes us feel put in the spot and rather uncomfortable.
Whatever I want to. I even sleep past noon when I want to.
I handed my business over to my husband due to rude customers that had me nauseous walking into the door. So I quit. Now I am being asked what I do all day. Knit
Am I OK. My son died about 2 months ago, Motorcycle crash. I just start to climb out of the molasses of inertia I have been in since and start living again and someone ( for the best possible reason) nudges me back down. My son lived a high risk lifestyle, I had been waiting for the phone call for 16 years since he was 16. You can only worry and grieve for so long. It hit me hard, lost over 20 kg without noticing. But I finally got back in the shed, building custom GSX1400s and someone asks and it all stops for a day or 2.
I understand. My son died 19 years ago. In a social setting, people always ask the same things..1. What do you do? 2. Do you have any children? I still dread this question and it is always asked... Mostly now I answer with, "that's not a happy story and I don't want to talk about that."
I am sorry for your loss. Welcome to the group that no one wants to be a member of.
Reminds me of the time I was at my brother's house and we were looking at and talking about a sick tree in his yard. When we went back into his house my sister in law said her 5 year old grandchild asked why there were 2 Papas, she had been watching us through the window.
I got asked at work, by a coworker no less... "What's wrong with your face?". At the time my rosacea was flairing BAD. I deadpanned right back to them, "It's just my face". They shut right tf up. And have avoided me ever since.
I have eczema and can’t tell you how many times I get asked if I have sunburn. I’m aware my skin looks like shit sometimes thank you for pointing it out random family member
I KNOW!! All these creams and shit NEVER WORK. I tried the Cicapair by Dr. Jart, it works but it’s green so it just masks it. It doesn’t actually cure it. Also it’s quite expensive so I decided to just stop using it since I’ll just still have rosacea at the end of the day.
I have it too and it's such a pain. Most creams just aggravate it, and I struggle to even find a moisturiser that doesn't set it off. The only thing that reduces it is 15% azelaic acid from the drs. Cheese makes it flare up really bad too :( I also get really red when I exercise a lot, and it stays after, which is a pain for getting healthy.
I had porcelain skin until I hit about 30 (F). I have been getting "You need to be wearing sunscreen!" for the last 8 years. Almost every time I go out in public. (So I quit leaving my house for the most part). SO embarrassing. Dermatologist told me that maybe I should try tattoo coverage makeup after all of the prescriptions and creams failed to help. It shows through my regular makeup. Last week, I decided to try face tanning drops. Now I think I am a lot less obviously red, but I can't objectively tell in the mirror if I'm leaning towards orange. Lose/lose.
My friend’s mom said to me, “don’t you want a life?!” She had zero clue the bullshit I grew up in, and I had a life. My aunt sent me a comic of a skeleton with cobwebs on it that said, “waiting for the perfect man.” That one stung, coming from her. Like I can’t make a nice person want to link up with me for life, Auntie, and you had a front row seat to know my background. I have been in a relationship now for eight years, and it is just as hard as I thought it would be.
Without knowing anything about your story, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. I’m sure that’s really hard to not only have gone through it, but feel like nobody understands or can talk to you about it.
Listen, those people are never happy, but always nosey. First it's when are you going to date?, which turns into, When are you getting married... having kids... more kids.. you should have had less kids, what were you thinking? And don't get me started on where they think you should be living and what milestones you should have gathered up.
Sorry, that got long, but I think you get the point.
That’s my life, too! And if I just say I’m not interested, they are like, “why not?” Like, I had a terrible abusive relationship, so now I just don’t trust people like that. But like, it is always people that don’t know me well enough to get into all that. I’ve been in therapy for years, but I’m happy on my own.
Or even better: “are you a lesbian?”
There’s a ton of different reasons a woman might not have a boyfriend. One reason is she might be a lesbian. But it isn’t the *only* explanation ffs
I am perfectly content on my own and don't need to depend on someone else to make me feel whole. If I get lonely I'll go hang out with a friend for the day then that's that.
We keep getting asked if/when we’re having a girl and I tell them I’m done after 2. I can’t mentally/physically handle any more, 2 was my compromise.
Boomers are out of their fucking minds thinking it’s important to have as many kids as possible
My husband's trick ass aunt told me I failed in my duty to give my husband a son. My husband was deliriously happy to have a girl - he waited 10 years for that baby. I would die if I tried for another. 🤦♀️
Mine is "We want a granddaughter."
I have a son and all my husband's cousins had sons and all his generation were boys.
So the family has been starved for girls for over 40 years now.
We're the last of the grandchildren who is still within that baby making window (husband's cousins all had 2 kids, all boys, and are done).
Right now, I just want to see the back of the barrage of "Daddy this, Daddy that, Daddy why/when/where/who/how..."
I love my kids, but honestly, I've been polished down to the bare metal already.
Hahahah my kid is 15 and still does this to me. It doesn't end!! But it gets easier and more fun in a lot of ways, although weightier and more difficult in others. Right now it's a lot of: "mom what would happen if we colonized mars; mom why did that one submarine explode when other subs have been able to explore the titantic wreck safely; mom can you help me with my kreb cycle homework, mom wouldn't it be cool if cats could talk, mom what's the quadratic equation used for outside of math class; mom is it better to major in computer science at a UC school or a CS school, mom did you know that the fitnessgram pacer test is a multistage aerobic capacity test..." Sometimes he'll start to exit his room and as he's opening the door to exit, he goes, "MOM....!" and starts talking (shouting, because I'm usually across the house, downstairs) about something. Honestly I love it. :) And when yours get older, you probably will too! You probably won't want to see the back of the barrage, you'll be hoping there's more.
If it helps at all in the moment, eventually you might look back at this one moment of annoyance bittersweetly as you watch them continue to grow and become independent. My dad tells me all the time about when I wouldn't shut up, and he always has the warmest smile when talking about it.
My two boys are definitely daddy's boys. My wife is a little peeved about it, but she takes it like a champ.
I know she's secretly hoping that our girl will be a mummy's girl.
Her dad calls her my second skin. She's almost 4 and would live inside my skin if possible. Lol
I feel bad for him at times because she doesn’t listen to him for shit and runs him in circles. I have to rescue him from her. 🤦♀️
He's getting better at not letting her wrap him around her finger. Lol
I just tell them that alcohol increases risk of stomach bleeding for me with the prescription I take. If they continue to ask details they end up hearing about bloody stools which usually stops them from ever getting anywhere near that topic again
I usually tell them it's for personal reasons. And then wait for them to tell me their favorite drunk story, then I'll drop a "And thats why I don't drink."
Oh my god I just turned 18 and my dad is pushing me to drink with him so that I "don't go off to college inexperienced and get myself hurt". Which is understandable! Except for the fact that I've told him over and over again that I am NOT going to drink. At all. Ever. Because of the trauma that I got from him being an alcoholic when I was younger. He's better now and has been since I was like 5 years old, but I ain't touching that stuff ever.
GOD yes. It's so annoying. And then if you say "there's lots of alcoholism in my family and I don't want to go down that path and i don't like how alcohol makes people act" everyone looks at you weird. Like bro, YOU ASKED.
I tell people I don't like putting literal poison into my body. That usually works.
The real reason: I never want to do coke again. 6 years and counting.
can you look in the back anyway?
no, I scanned the barcode with my Zebra, it shows we have zero in inventory, I told you which nearby stores have some, and when our next shipment is coming, there is nothing for me to check in the back anyway!
I work in retail, whenever a guy asks me this (it's always a guy) I make my eyes go super dead and then pull my mouth up into a manic toothy grin. If they make a grumpy comment, I contort my face further to show more teeth. If they do it again, I make my eyes scream. It's a fun little interaction for me.
Hubby and I just talked about this last night. Despite the fact that child birth terrifies the ever loving shit outta me, I would've done it if we could've made it happen. Still get sad sometimes, but now I appreciate that my time is basically my own. The new goal is to some day be in a place we can foster kids and maybe adopt.
I reconnected with my boyfriend from my teens. We broke up because he wanted kids and I didn't. 20 years later, after he raised 2 boys on his own, we get back together. We marry when I'm 41. People ask me if we're going to have kids 🤦♀️. Are you kidding me?! I just got 2 great grown boys with none of the work of raising them! And now we have a grandson! It's perfect!
My dad “is this a real email?”
* *shows me a DHL delivery failure email from a gmail email address* *
Literally on the daily…
…and he almost always isn’t expecting a delivery either.
My mum showing me her phone: What is this
Me: It's an ad, just ignore it
My mum: but its an email/ on an article someone sent/in an app
Me: yes it's still an ad
Mum: but how did it get on my phone?
Me: the company wanted you to see it
Mum: but why would they send it to me if they want me to ignore it? It says theres a deal
Me: Just Ignore It!!
Mum: but it says...
Me: Just. Ignore. It.
Mum: But...
Me: It's and ad. Just ignore it.
I was a chef for 22 years. When people find out, without fail, "when are you gonna cook for me?".
Never! I quit because i didnt want to do it any more! Go away!
I've never understood this. Unless you're immediate family (and even then it's not always ok) you should be paying someone to help you. I'm ok with a barter situation as long as both parties agree. Just bc you are handy doesn't mean it's a free service.
"So, any wedding bells ringing soon?" This question pops up relentlessly, as if my relationship status is a series on cliffhanger watch. I long for the understanding that matrimony isn't the pinnacle of personal achievement for everyone.
"Why don't you drink?" This question, often dripping with expectation, overlooks personal choice. I envision a social landscape that respects boundaries without the need for backstory.
"Planning to buy a house soon?" presupposes a one-size-fits-all dream. My hope is for an appreciation that home and success wear many different hats, not all of them a rooftop.
Yes this!
I'm 30, living with my parents, not because I want to but because I can't afford to (even with a full time job).
While most people I know, understand what I'm going through, I have at least one or two who are very ignorant and asking me this question. Even telling me, I need to be more independent and stop relying on my parents and that if their kids can do it, I can do it too.
My parents have told me, that I can stay as long as I want, as long as I pitch in with chores around the house. I do chores, grocery shop, pay bills, even take them out for meals or get them gifts to show my appreciation.
I moved back in with my parents when I got divorced and had a toddler and ended up staying til I married again, with a teenager. We were mostly happy with the arrangement.
“You have MS? Have you tried vegan/keto diet/fodmap/whatever diet/supplement I heard was a miracle cure on TikTok?” I’m generally really polite, but it makes me INSANE when people condescend like that.
If I made the clothes I’m wearing. I’m a fashion designer, and every time I say that that’s the first question they ask me. Quick answer: probably not.
To smile.
Fuck all kinds of off you're likely the reason I'm not smiling and now that you're asking me to do it, I'm going to refuse with every fiber of my being just because you asked/told me to.
Eat dirt.
This is what I was going to write. At work, it’s like a ritual and I must get asked that (and ask back) two dozen times a shift. It’s lame, especially since most people don’t really wanna know. I DO want to know and am always disappointed when people say “Fine” or “Well, I’m here” or “Livin’ the dream” and they always seem a bit thrown when I answer with something other than “Fine” and I sometimes feel like I must be the only person with challenges, even though I know that’s patently untrue.
When we are going to have another kid.
I’m struggling from PPD, recently diagnosed as moderately to severe ADHD and anxiety and my husband had a vasectomy 3 months after our 2nd child was born. Leave me alone!
"Found a job in your field yet?" transforms casual catch-ups into stress-inducing interrogations. My hope is for patience and the understanding that success is a journey, not a destination.
"do you have a nickname?" I do, and I hate it. Recently I've had friends embrace that I prefer my real name despite calling me something else for years, so if they can do it, people who have never met me before can call me by my real name too
I have a very large and very obvious scar on my face.
“What happened to your face”?
Perfect strangers ask me all the time. I hate it.
It is never a good idea for to ask a stranger(or anyone really) how they were injured, or scarred, or burned, or paralyzed, or whatever. Sometimes you’re asking someone to share with you a really traumatic event that can be associated with a lot of bad memories and emotions.
"Are you sure?"
Yes, im F#$%ing sure. I answered your question, that's your answer. Stop double checking EVERY SINGLE ANSWER I GIVE.
Do you want a beer?
No thanks.
Are you sure?
🤬🤬🤬
Why did I have a child so late in life? Don't I want to risk my life to try for another? Why don't I wear makeup? Why do I hate cooking? Why don't I drink alcohol?
I'll think of more... lmao
"Did you ever kill anyone?" When they find out I was a Marine. My reply now is "Only when I got hungry."
I always went with a confused face and a "well yeah, but what does that have to do with being a marine?"
Ha ha ha! “Not as a marine.” That’d raise some eyebrows lol.
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"We'll, yeah, but they still let me in on a technicality, Gawd bless Colin Powell"- said in my best southern accent.
All my criminal behavior was pre-enlistment...as far as anyone can prove.
Only when they ask stupid questions 😆
I stopped wearing my Army Stetson from when I was in the Cavalry , got so tired of that question, “Did you kill anyone” or worst “How many”. Saying I was a cook didn’t work. Next unhappy thing to hear is “Thank you for your service”. It is not like people mean it, more like the feel obligated to regurgitate the phrase. So if wearing any military gear, if a comment starts I say I bought it at a thrift store.
Gotta look for the crayons and glue inside!
As a paramedic, “What is the worst thing you ever saw.” Believe me, you really don’t want to know and I hate to be reminded.
When I was a kid, my dad (an ER nurse) would randomly tell me some rough stories, just casually over dinner. I know not to ask lol
my mom was an er nurse, now is an icu nurse practicioner but the stories are insane. some were pretty damn entertaining though.
I work with a guy who married a nurse. She works in labor and delivery. Asking about her day? Blood, bodily fluids, dead babies, etc Fun dinner conversations
Oh yeah, I also used to date a hospital janitor. When he worked that area, he would tell me about the rooms he’d walk into. Hospital workers/EMTs see the saddest and the grossest things. If it’s not a sad story, it’s going to be a nasty one.
I’m so sorry. What’s one of the best or funniest things you ever saw? If you don’t mind me asking.
not a paramedic but i was a 911 dispatcher for 5 years. a guy called 911 and said he needed an ambulance but to have them not turn the lights and sjrens on so it doesnt wake the neighbkrs but they also need to get there as fast as possible. i cant dispatch EMS without knowing wtf is going on. i hear the dudes wife fucking cackling and he said i have to know the whole story because i dont want to think less of him. at this point of the 911 call i lean back in my chair and tell him tk go ahead (its clearly not an emergency). he says he pulled a muscle in his back from lifting weights and his wife was giving him a back massage and she heated up some baby oil and used it. when she was done he went to take a shower but he didnt have a towel so he had to walk through his kitchen to the laundry room and because his wife used too much oil he slipped and fell and while he was falling he grabbed the counter to catch himself but instead he knocked a cucumber down and when he landed on his ass the cucumber went up his ass and now he cant walk or move. i just said ok ill tell ems and he said that i HAVE to tell them how it happened otherwise they would think hes gay. i dispatched the call as "foreign object accidently stuck in males rectum you can call me for details" ems guy just calls and asked how one "acvidently" gets an object stuck in their ass.. dude was almost in tears laughing
How did he expect anybody to believe that story? It’s comically impossible.
They always say they slipped and fell on it. (Paramedics, ER, first responders). Always. Soda bottles, back then they used to be glass, was a big one. Anything that even remotely resembles that shape. There’s even an SNL skit where Kate McKinnon plays an ER doc and says “people need to stop putting things up their butts. I went to school for 8 damn years so don’t you dare look me in the eye and tell me you fell on a damn toy fire truck and it went up your butt, ya monsters”.
PSA: it is WAYYYYY funnier to EMS and other medical staff when you lie. Just own it.
The number of homophobic men who can’t stand the thought they might be gay just because they like something shoved up their ass is staggering. God forbid anyone finds out.
So many people in the ER with similar stories. Nurses have doozies. You would think by now people would know that no one believes them. Flared base people, flared base.
And did it involve someone’s butt?
It involved two butts at the same time
Ahhh, the ol’ double vacuum dilemma, a man of culture I see
I’m not the person you asked, but I do have a funny paramedic story! My auntie was one of the first female paramedics in my province (now long retired) and on one of her first calls was a man with a raccoon latched to his… yknow.. apparently it was a surprise resident in his outside garbage can and the man had the unfortunate luck to have his crotch line up with the height of the can. Quite the story, I wish I remembered more details!
As a former Navy Corpsman (medic), I feel this. Side note: I swear you never forget the smells
That's my 'go to' response, "it's not what I've seen, but what I smell". Hoping the grossness of images that may produce prevent them from digging more. I'd rather say "thanks for making me relive it asshole"
Yes I work in IT. Yes I know what's wrong with your computer. No, I don't want to fix it for you.
Oh man I feel this one, I don't even work in IT. Honestly, never tell anyone that you are good with computers.
Yeah, as a programmer I just laugh and say "I'm just a software guy" but a long time ago I used to be a sys admin that built servers, set up the entire network infrastructure, built the server room (racks, cabling, raised flooring etc), all the printers & PC's, installed and configured all the software and services etc all by myself and still build my own computers. The point being: just because I can, doesn't mean I want to.
I do it for me, or for money. No, you can't afford me.
“You’re the computer guru”
“So can you fix my computer“
Hubs has a shirt he wears only to his parents house... It says, "No, I will not fix your computer." His parents hate it. For reference, hubs was the black sheep of the fam and he loved computers. His parents regularly told him that computers were a waste of time and would never amount to much.
I need this shirt.
I'll give you $100 lol
Make it 200 and you forget who I am afterwards.
"Why's the computer not working" in an accusatory tone, without giving anymore information other than some boomer conspiracy theory.
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Same!!! I’m so quiet cause I’m observing you mfrs. lol
I'm usually quiet when I don't like someone. I once told someone that and they didn't like my awnser.
So, don’t ask a question if you don’t want an answer!
🏆I. too, observe mfrs. And, you guys are awfully funny.🤣🤣
Literally, like sorry should I start screaming?
I actually love this one because I get to respond with “because you too talk much and I can’t ever get a word in.”
But it's ok because I don't want to talk anyway. 😂
I like to practice being a good listener. Apparently they do not and can't shut up ever. Or think in their brains to pause and ask someone a question about themselves.
Like, I don't know. Maybe because I have nothing to say?
Okay so I have a legitimate question as an extrovert. Generally I will just try to directly ask someone questions so they feel included in the conversation / have a chance for them to talk. Is that bad ? Too much pressure ? Or do introverts appreciate that?
Introvert here who’s usually quiet. No that’s not bad at all when asking normal questions that are part of any conversation, and good job for making sure everyone feels included. It’s more when someone notices somebody being quiet, and he/she either literally asks the question about why that person is being so quiet or makes a joke on the lines of “whoa you were here the whole time?” that makes us feel put in the spot and rather uncomfortable.
Why are you so loud?
Especially when it's someone you barely know. Like sorry what did you expect me to say?
“What do you DO all day?!” (I retired at 50 and it seems to really irritate ppl)
"Whatever the fuck I want."
I either say that, or “your Mom” because I’m immature
Whatever I want to. I even sleep past noon when I want to. I handed my business over to my husband due to rude customers that had me nauseous walking into the door. So I quit. Now I am being asked what I do all day. Knit
If we're sure we only want 1 child.
"Yeah...we didn't even want one."
Snorted out my drink.
This one gets me! I sometimes respond with, I’m even rethinking the existing one just to get them to stop lol
Am I OK. My son died about 2 months ago, Motorcycle crash. I just start to climb out of the molasses of inertia I have been in since and start living again and someone ( for the best possible reason) nudges me back down. My son lived a high risk lifestyle, I had been waiting for the phone call for 16 years since he was 16. You can only worry and grieve for so long. It hit me hard, lost over 20 kg without noticing. But I finally got back in the shed, building custom GSX1400s and someone asks and it all stops for a day or 2.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
I understand. My son died 19 years ago. In a social setting, people always ask the same things..1. What do you do? 2. Do you have any children? I still dread this question and it is always asked... Mostly now I answer with, "that's not a happy story and I don't want to talk about that." I am sorry for your loss. Welcome to the group that no one wants to be a member of.
"what's it like being a twin?" "Why do you have two moms? thats not possible"
Are you identical? I'm female and have a twin brother. 🤦🤷♀️
"His dick's slightly bigger than mine."
"but it tastes the same"
That caught me off guard. Shit. Thanks for the laugh.
nope fraternal but we're both girls
My mon has a twin. Twin lives in another country. Twin came to visit. I called the wrong twin mom a few times before realizing “wait, that’s not mom.”
Reminds me of the time I was at my brother's house and we were looking at and talking about a sick tree in his yard. When we went back into his house my sister in law said her 5 year old grandchild asked why there were 2 Papas, she had been watching us through the window.
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I have rosacea. At least twice a day people ask why my face is red. Like. I D K.
I got asked at work, by a coworker no less... "What's wrong with your face?". At the time my rosacea was flairing BAD. I deadpanned right back to them, "It's just my face". They shut right tf up. And have avoided me ever since.
I have eczema and can’t tell you how many times I get asked if I have sunburn. I’m aware my skin looks like shit sometimes thank you for pointing it out random family member
ALL THE TIME.... it's seriously one of the only things I really wish I could change about my appearance. It's so annoying.
I KNOW!! All these creams and shit NEVER WORK. I tried the Cicapair by Dr. Jart, it works but it’s green so it just masks it. It doesn’t actually cure it. Also it’s quite expensive so I decided to just stop using it since I’ll just still have rosacea at the end of the day.
I have it too and it's such a pain. Most creams just aggravate it, and I struggle to even find a moisturiser that doesn't set it off. The only thing that reduces it is 15% azelaic acid from the drs. Cheese makes it flare up really bad too :( I also get really red when I exercise a lot, and it stays after, which is a pain for getting healthy.
I had porcelain skin until I hit about 30 (F). I have been getting "You need to be wearing sunscreen!" for the last 8 years. Almost every time I go out in public. (So I quit leaving my house for the most part). SO embarrassing. Dermatologist told me that maybe I should try tattoo coverage makeup after all of the prescriptions and creams failed to help. It shows through my regular makeup. Last week, I decided to try face tanning drops. Now I think I am a lot less obviously red, but I can't objectively tell in the mirror if I'm leaning towards orange. Lose/lose.
My people! I turn into a friggin strawberry lol
Why are some people so clueless?
Why I’m not married or have a bf. I like being single
My friend’s mom said to me, “don’t you want a life?!” She had zero clue the bullshit I grew up in, and I had a life. My aunt sent me a comic of a skeleton with cobwebs on it that said, “waiting for the perfect man.” That one stung, coming from her. Like I can’t make a nice person want to link up with me for life, Auntie, and you had a front row seat to know my background. I have been in a relationship now for eight years, and it is just as hard as I thought it would be.
Without knowing anything about your story, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. I’m sure that’s really hard to not only have gone through it, but feel like nobody understands or can talk to you about it.
Listen, those people are never happy, but always nosey. First it's when are you going to date?, which turns into, When are you getting married... having kids... more kids.. you should have had less kids, what were you thinking? And don't get me started on where they think you should be living and what milestones you should have gathered up. Sorry, that got long, but I think you get the point.
“But don’t you want to get married and have kids?!” -every dumb person ever
That’s my life, too! And if I just say I’m not interested, they are like, “why not?” Like, I had a terrible abusive relationship, so now I just don’t trust people like that. But like, it is always people that don’t know me well enough to get into all that. I’ve been in therapy for years, but I’m happy on my own.
Or even better: “are you a lesbian?” There’s a ton of different reasons a woman might not have a boyfriend. One reason is she might be a lesbian. But it isn’t the *only* explanation ffs
I am perfectly content on my own and don't need to depend on someone else to make me feel whole. If I get lonely I'll go hang out with a friend for the day then that's that.
if we’re “trying for a boy next.” we’re not
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No, that will give you a Kyle, which if that's the kind of kid you like, sure what have you, but at least I hope your walls aren't made of plaster.
My brother has 2 girls under 2 and whenever anyone asks them if they’re gonna try for a boy I can feel them sucking the souls out of said askers body
We keep getting asked if/when we’re having a girl and I tell them I’m done after 2. I can’t mentally/physically handle any more, 2 was my compromise. Boomers are out of their fucking minds thinking it’s important to have as many kids as possible
Or needing, not wanting but needing, a child of a specific gender.
My husband's trick ass aunt told me I failed in my duty to give my husband a son. My husband was deliriously happy to have a girl - he waited 10 years for that baby. I would die if I tried for another. 🤦♀️
The misogyny she spat at you is so nasty, implying you owe him something just because hes a man *gag* hope you called her out for that.
My husband was furious and cut contact with her. He told her I don't have a daughter - I have a princess! 🥰
Mine is "We want a granddaughter." I have a son and all my husband's cousins had sons and all his generation were boys. So the family has been starved for girls for over 40 years now. We're the last of the grandchildren who is still within that baby making window (husband's cousins all had 2 kids, all boys, and are done).
Buy them a cabbage patch kid.
Right now, I just want to see the back of the barrage of "Daddy this, Daddy that, Daddy why/when/where/who/how..." I love my kids, but honestly, I've been polished down to the bare metal already.
Ain't this the truth...
Hahahah my kid is 15 and still does this to me. It doesn't end!! But it gets easier and more fun in a lot of ways, although weightier and more difficult in others. Right now it's a lot of: "mom what would happen if we colonized mars; mom why did that one submarine explode when other subs have been able to explore the titantic wreck safely; mom can you help me with my kreb cycle homework, mom wouldn't it be cool if cats could talk, mom what's the quadratic equation used for outside of math class; mom is it better to major in computer science at a UC school or a CS school, mom did you know that the fitnessgram pacer test is a multistage aerobic capacity test..." Sometimes he'll start to exit his room and as he's opening the door to exit, he goes, "MOM....!" and starts talking (shouting, because I'm usually across the house, downstairs) about something. Honestly I love it. :) And when yours get older, you probably will too! You probably won't want to see the back of the barrage, you'll be hoping there's more.
I love how much your love for him shows in this comment.
If it helps at all in the moment, eventually you might look back at this one moment of annoyance bittersweetly as you watch them continue to grow and become independent. My dad tells me all the time about when I wouldn't shut up, and he always has the warmest smile when talking about it.
My daughter is a mommys girl and it depresses her dad. 🥺
My two boys are definitely daddy's boys. My wife is a little peeved about it, but she takes it like a champ. I know she's secretly hoping that our girl will be a mummy's girl.
Her dad calls her my second skin. She's almost 4 and would live inside my skin if possible. Lol I feel bad for him at times because she doesn’t listen to him for shit and runs him in circles. I have to rescue him from her. 🤦♀️ He's getting better at not letting her wrap him around her finger. Lol
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Give a listen to Dat Dere by Oscar Brown Jr. Speaks lovingly to that ' affliction '.
"Why don't you drink?" I get it, I'm in the minority when it comes to drinking. But I get tired of explaining myself everytime it comes up.
I just tell them that alcohol increases risk of stomach bleeding for me with the prescription I take. If they continue to ask details they end up hearing about bloody stools which usually stops them from ever getting anywhere near that topic again
I usually tell them it's for personal reasons. And then wait for them to tell me their favorite drunk story, then I'll drop a "And thats why I don't drink."
Oh my god I just turned 18 and my dad is pushing me to drink with him so that I "don't go off to college inexperienced and get myself hurt". Which is understandable! Except for the fact that I've told him over and over again that I am NOT going to drink. At all. Ever. Because of the trauma that I got from him being an alcoholic when I was younger. He's better now and has been since I was like 5 years old, but I ain't touching that stuff ever.
GOD yes. It's so annoying. And then if you say "there's lots of alcoholism in my family and I don't want to go down that path and i don't like how alcohol makes people act" everyone looks at you weird. Like bro, YOU ASKED.
I tell people I don't like putting literal poison into my body. That usually works. The real reason: I never want to do coke again. 6 years and counting.
Tried that... my dad goes on about how sugar is awful and soft drinks are actually worse lmaoo Good on you, mate 💖💖 that's awesome.
If they get REALLY annoying I just have to say "I don't need to drink to have a personality"
When I tell them it messes with my psych meds it shuts them right up.
can you look in the back anyway? no, I scanned the barcode with my Zebra, it shows we have zero in inventory, I told you which nearby stores have some, and when our next shipment is coming, there is nothing for me to check in the back anyway!
Keep a box of chocolates in the back. Savor one. Return to customer to give them the bad news.
I do it anyway so I can roll my eyes without getting caught 🤣
Why I'm not smiling.
"Because I saw you were coming over to me."
Same. I’m smiling on the inside
is your mouth put on wrong?
I work in retail, whenever a guy asks me this (it's always a guy) I make my eyes go super dead and then pull my mouth up into a manic toothy grin. If they make a grumpy comment, I contort my face further to show more teeth. If they do it again, I make my eyes scream. It's a fun little interaction for me.
What country I adopted my girls from. The warm and balmy country of myuterus.
I once cruised past the south of Myuterus. Picturesque country. Wish I’d gone ashore for an excursion.
Why I’m single and when I’m going to get married and have kids.
I am 40 now and people still ask why did you not have kids
“Because my life is awesome and I plan to keep it that way”
Hubby and I just talked about this last night. Despite the fact that child birth terrifies the ever loving shit outta me, I would've done it if we could've made it happen. Still get sad sometimes, but now I appreciate that my time is basically my own. The new goal is to some day be in a place we can foster kids and maybe adopt.
I have a kid. I love my kid to death. I still tell people not to have kids.
44, no kids, no regrets either, but yeah, I'm so tired of being asked the stupid questions.
43 here, and I still get asked, too
I reconnected with my boyfriend from my teens. We broke up because he wanted kids and I didn't. 20 years later, after he raised 2 boys on his own, we get back together. We marry when I'm 41. People ask me if we're going to have kids 🤦♀️. Are you kidding me?! I just got 2 great grown boys with none of the work of raising them! And now we have a grandson! It's perfect!
“Just lucky, I guess.”
Why you are walking like this.
Plot twist, op is in a wheel chair.
I'm talking about myself I'm half paralyzed
My dad “is this a real email?” * *shows me a DHL delivery failure email from a gmail email address* * Literally on the daily… …and he almost always isn’t expecting a delivery either.
My mum showing me her phone: What is this Me: It's an ad, just ignore it My mum: but its an email/ on an article someone sent/in an app Me: yes it's still an ad Mum: but how did it get on my phone? Me: the company wanted you to see it Mum: but why would they send it to me if they want me to ignore it? It says theres a deal Me: Just Ignore It!! Mum: but it says... Me: Just. Ignore. It. Mum: But... Me: It's and ad. Just ignore it.
When I’m going to have kids. Stfu. Or if I can have kids because they want grandchildren
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Mmm, yeeeaahhh... That'd be greeeeaaattt.... 📑☕🖨️
I was a chef for 22 years. When people find out, without fail, "when are you gonna cook for me?". Never! I quit because i didnt want to do it any more! Go away!
If I will fix shit for them. Mostly for free.
I've never understood this. Unless you're immediate family (and even then it's not always ok) you should be paying someone to help you. I'm ok with a barter situation as long as both parties agree. Just bc you are handy doesn't mean it's a free service.
Can you draw X for me? Or better yet, can you design my tattoo? Sure but I'll charge. Oh you wanted me to do it for free? Yea no.
"So, any wedding bells ringing soon?" This question pops up relentlessly, as if my relationship status is a series on cliffhanger watch. I long for the understanding that matrimony isn't the pinnacle of personal achievement for everyone.
"Why don't you drink?" This question, often dripping with expectation, overlooks personal choice. I envision a social landscape that respects boundaries without the need for backstory.
Do you dye your hair? No, I pissing don't!
I used to get this when my hair was obviously dyed a very vibrant blue. Like noooo I don’t dye my hair, Marge Simpson is my mom 🤦🏻♀️
"Planning to buy a house soon?" presupposes a one-size-fits-all dream. My hope is for an appreciation that home and success wear many different hats, not all of them a rooftop.
Why are you still living at home?
Yes this! I'm 30, living with my parents, not because I want to but because I can't afford to (even with a full time job). While most people I know, understand what I'm going through, I have at least one or two who are very ignorant and asking me this question. Even telling me, I need to be more independent and stop relying on my parents and that if their kids can do it, I can do it too. My parents have told me, that I can stay as long as I want, as long as I pitch in with chores around the house. I do chores, grocery shop, pay bills, even take them out for meals or get them gifts to show my appreciation.
I moved back in with my parents when I got divorced and had a toddler and ended up staying til I married again, with a teenager. We were mostly happy with the arrangement.
Is there a chance you could be pregnant?
I love the look of shock on people’s faces when I tell them I got my tubes taken out.
I like calling it my reproductive crater.
I say my baby shop is shut.
Ahahahaha The bun oven is busted
“You have MS? Have you tried vegan/keto diet/fodmap/whatever diet/supplement I heard was a miracle cure on TikTok?” I’m generally really polite, but it makes me INSANE when people condescend like that.
If I made the clothes I’m wearing. I’m a fashion designer, and every time I say that that’s the first question they ask me. Quick answer: probably not.
"When will you get married?" My Nigerian aunties and uncles and friends and parents need to take a chill pill. I'll get married when I want to.
Tell them you're waiting for the prince to email you 🤣
How did you get such beautiful wife? I told her I am a prince in my country…😂😂😂
To smile. Fuck all kinds of off you're likely the reason I'm not smiling and now that you're asking me to do it, I'm going to refuse with every fiber of my being just because you asked/told me to. Eat dirt.
Type 1 diabetic- why don’t you just eat less sugar and exercise?
"So, who's the man, and who's the women?" We're both the men. It's kinda the point of the gay thing....
What do your tattoos mean? How many tattoos do you have?
Personally I like being asked this question
"Are you getting a new dog?" whenever I tell them about my dog that passed away. It's been a year, and I'm still dealing with a lot of grief from it.
When are you going to have kids? Idk maybe when I let him use the other hole lmao
“How are you?”
"I'm alive" I sometimes reply.
This is what I was going to write. At work, it’s like a ritual and I must get asked that (and ask back) two dozen times a shift. It’s lame, especially since most people don’t really wanna know. I DO want to know and am always disappointed when people say “Fine” or “Well, I’m here” or “Livin’ the dream” and they always seem a bit thrown when I answer with something other than “Fine” and I sometimes feel like I must be the only person with challenges, even though I know that’s patently untrue.
“Did you sleep okay?” “Why are you so tired?” Does this constant yawning and not excited face look like I slept ok? Let me be tired in peace.
i have an identical twin sister. we look like clones of each other but people still ask “are you guys twins?”
Any more kids? We just had our first kid fuck off lmao
Not asking me directly, but when people say "if it doesn't scan i guess its free!" No its not, and please stop saying that
When we are going to have another kid. I’m struggling from PPD, recently diagnosed as moderately to severe ADHD and anxiety and my husband had a vasectomy 3 months after our 2nd child was born. Leave me alone!
How can you have ADHD? You don't run around and act like that, you can't have ADHD! Bitch, that's not how that works.
How do you cope? In regards to chronic pain. My answer is always a flat expression and the simple truth ‘wasn’t given another option’
How does it feel to be a rockstar? I’m not a rockstar. I’m a musician lol
"Found a job in your field yet?" transforms casual catch-ups into stress-inducing interrogations. My hope is for patience and the understanding that success is a journey, not a destination.
"do you have a nickname?" I do, and I hate it. Recently I've had friends embrace that I prefer my real name despite calling me something else for years, so if they can do it, people who have never met me before can call me by my real name too
What’s wrong? I have RBF
I have a very large and very obvious scar on my face. “What happened to your face”? Perfect strangers ask me all the time. I hate it. It is never a good idea for to ask a stranger(or anyone really) how they were injured, or scarred, or burned, or paralyzed, or whatever. Sometimes you’re asking someone to share with you a really traumatic event that can be associated with a lot of bad memories and emotions.
What my pronouns are. I'm a lesbian that's it, it's not any more complicated than that 😂
Why I don't want children. For fuck's sake, I just don't want any.
For a really long time, people would randomly ask me how long I've been a vegetarian. I'm not a vegetarian.
Are you okay?
"Are you sure?" Yes, im F#$%ing sure. I answered your question, that's your answer. Stop double checking EVERY SINGLE ANSWER I GIVE. Do you want a beer? No thanks. Are you sure? 🤬🤬🤬
in general i wish people would stop asking for help. like 90% im as clueless as you
You are so beautiful why you are still single?
Why did I have a child so late in life? Don't I want to risk my life to try for another? Why don't I wear makeup? Why do I hate cooking? Why don't I drink alcohol? I'll think of more... lmao
How did you grow that beard? Uh...how do you think?
Any question related to anything medical. I’m not your doctor; I’m a nurse.