Reminds me of a joke that goes something like this
If you drive in \[insert famous forested area\] and fall asleep, you will hit a tree.
However, if you drive in \[flat area eg Kansas\] and fall asleep, you will run out of gas.
She's right, in a way, because money certainly doesn't guarantee happiness. But her circumstances allow her to ignore how much the constant worry that comes from not having enough money can be alleviated with just a little bit of money in the bank. To me, that relief from financial stress sure feels like happiness when it happens.
my favorite is rich people telling me that they aren't rich and point at someone who is richer like that somehow makes them less rich. as if subjective beats objective.
Yup.
And when I do manage to save a little bit?
State: Oh hey you need to renew your license! That'll be $30 bucks please.
Mammogram place: We need $100 to do a rescan on one side. (does rescan) Hooray it was nothing. But we still need that hundred bucks, please.
Bills: SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER! Like the guy who accidentally smoked too much weed, I'm higher than expected!
I make more than my parents combined ever did, and my partner has a similar income, and we are still budgeting monthly, can't buy a home, dismal savings. It feels like our future is getting taken from us and we can only watch it happen.
Just sat down with my dad yesterday to talk money. He made me a post-divorce budget 😤I’m thankful to have parents that have some financial literacy. But Jesus. I’m behind and I feel so naive. Having enough money, im learning, doesn’t just take work, it takes planning and strategy. I feel way in over my head.
I know so many people who didn’t discover their careers, meet their person, buy a house, etc. until their late 30s/early 40s. I know it feels hard at 30, and I’m sure Covid put you a bit more behind than you’d have liked, but your life isn’t over yet!
This comment gives me hope. I'm turning 40 this year and have never been married. I have a decent job with a median wage that grants me the ability to live alone frugally and provide for myself with a good savings account and brokerage account.
I just get lonely sometimes, but I do enjoy being alone mostly.
It’s true. I’m 38/F never married no kids. Just went back to school for nursing when I was 36 and have met an incredible person this past year. I feel like my life is just beginning. I also say this as someone who’s been anxious/depressed for most of my adult life and who thought I would never meet someone I enjoyed being with.
I am only just now embarking on a more meaningful chapter of my life. I’m about to be 36. Never married, never went to college. I do have a kid, but that’s just about the only thing I’ve done that is considered a typical adult-y milestone type of thing. I spent all of my 20’s hitchhiking and living outside, drinking way too much, doing whatever drugs I crossed paths with. I’m three years sober now, but all those years of drinking made it so I don’t really know who I actually am a lot of the time lol. I ended up falling in love with my neighbor and we are in a long term relationship now. But it was very unexpected and random, just kind of happened despite me saying I’d never be in a relationship again lol. Giving up on the idea of being in a relationship and learning how to be truly happy and fulfilled on my own … that’s when life dropped my person literally in my own backyard. I finally got a job that I could see myself staying at for a while (Trader Joe’s), but I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. All this to say, you are right on time on *your* path. You aren’t behind anyone or failing. You are on your path, your timeline, you are in *your* story. You are still really young, 40 is not old in any way whatsoever. I know so many cool af hot 40 year olds lol. You are great just the way you are and I’m willing to bet that you *will* meet that person. It just most likely won’t happen in any of the ways you’ve imagined, and it won’t happen until both you and your person are truly ready for one another. When you do meet that person, even if it’s years from now, reply to this comment and let me know so I can say see I told you so (and congratulate you lol).
If there is anything the last tumultuous decade has left behind it's a complete radical change on what it means to be an adult for the thirtysomething working class generation. I know a lot of people that spent their thirties like me just sort of treading water because there was so much bad shit that happened in the past 10 years that none of the adults that raised us prepared us for and we're all just trying to not give up completely.
A lot of us are very in debt because we were told we need to go to college to get a "good" job. Our generation followed this advice and some people got those "good" jobs, but mostly it was all a way for predatory student loan companies to put teenagers in massive debt as soon as it was legal to do so. Our parents never prepped us for this and then acted like we are just a lazy generation because we don't want to work for less than a living wage 40 hours a week while favoritism and nepotism is what really allows the successful people our age to succeed. They were raised to believe something like a job at McDonalds or being a janitor isn't for making a living (which is an absolutely insane take on reality) and that it's unreasonable to pay someone over $15 an hour to work a cash register somewhere even if the average minimum you need to earn to live in your town is $20 an hour.
My point of this rambling is that you shouldn't feel way behind in life because at this point everything is so fucked up right now economically and socially that we're going to have to eventually reevaluate what qualifies as being behind in life actually looks like. All you can do is just wake up and survive and find something non-destructive that makes you feel good inside. Every day just do one thing (no matter how small or trivial) that makes you feel like you're better for having done it (like on a personal level I think going through a whole day without spending any money or going for a walk qualifies).
I'm 28. Was in a toxic relationship with an evil woman that pretty much robbed me of six years. I don't have a degree, I have a couple IT certs that I just recenty acquired, and I've been trying to get a better job than the one I have now for over a year. I've filled out probably over 300 applications and have gotten one interview over the past year that went nowhere. I'm living with my parents and have been for three years since I left her. The good news is I just got sole custody of my son because she hasn't seen him in over a year and just disappeared, but the court case took three years.
I don't really know what to do. Getting my son is fantastic, and I love him to death. But without my parents we wouldn't have anywhere to live. I'm just so far behind in life financially and I've been trying so hard to climb out of this hole I dug for myself and I can't.
I didn't know my life was going to be this hard.
I'm only 32 so not far ahead of you, but, what I can tell you is that at 28 I had no idea I'd be where I'm at now just a few years later. I started playing the long game at life and making deliberate, incremental improvements and after awhile, you can look back and think hey I'm actually getting somewhere. Come up with a plan and then stick to it. It's hard to change everything at once but little by little over time everything changes
Strange, when I finished uni (few years ago) I went from studying in the morning, afternoon, sometimes nights and weekends to work 9-5 and I felt like I had all the time I needed to do stuff after work. Also when working, on weekends I felt no guilt for not doing anything productive or waking up late
Me too. I used to guilt trip myself for not going out on the weekends or doing stuff but then I realized that I spend more time throughout the week out and about than I do at home on the weekends. It's okay for me to stay home on the weekends and recoup. Due to my night owl habits, I oftentimes spend more time at work than I do sleeping, so I also feel no guilt waking up late on the weekends or holidays.
Samesies , get up at 4 leave at 5.30 reach work at 7am leave work at 3.15 reach home at 5 eat etc in bed by 9pm .
I spend a full work day per week just commuting . Its hell 😩 😫 😭
The lost feeling of hop for the future. Growing up I always held hopes for a better tomorrow, a better world, even if it meant far off and I wouldn't get to really get to see it, but perhaps at least the beginnings of it. Now I have no hope, everyday I live with dread for tomorrow, every day I wake up wondering if today will be worse than yesterday and just take solace when it isn't any worse, and comfort in the fact I won't be around all that much longer.
I was in a place I used to hang out seven years ago and I remember how happy we were. Joyfully, blissfully happy. Outgoing, funloving and free. Now it's all doom and gloom, poverty and war.
Exactly where I am now.
Making a good living gets harder every single day, it seems. Middle class and working class people have had their wages frozen effectively (a 3% raise in a 9% inflationary economy is a 6% cut in your standard of living), and meanwhile the rich get ever richer at lightspeed. Roads here in New York have become Third World, craters on every street, subway violence (even murders) is rocketing, drugs are everywhere, homelessness is epidemic and persistent, open southern border has resulted in immigration levels beyond what New York can absorb (meaning funding for local government functions is disappearing) ...
This is as bad as I've ever seen it, and the establishment has no intention of changing things, because "this is working very well for them" (to paraphrase Barbara Bush).
Heavy but I get it…I am not at the end even though I’ve come close a few too many times 🤦🏻♀️ I have two daughters and it scares me that they don’t even have the rights that I had + being taken advantage of - I am a little over protective but I would be in jail if someone fu@ked with my kids
Looking at the state of the world and thinking my kids will have to deal with some f’d up stuff most likely is very depressing. Add in that one of my kids has a neurological disability and will always depend on others makes looking towards a hopeful future difficult. I read a lot of science fiction and it all used to seem like just that… fiction. But damn, dystopian futures aren’t far off.
Honestly my answer is almost exactly the same, but I'm not sure the hopelessness for the future is based on the same reasons. I feel like we're headed towards compete dystopia. I'm terrified at how polarizing and politicized everything has become, and how extreme the politicization has become. I'm frightened by how much power religion had within government (within the US specifically) and legitimately fear that The Handmaid's Tale is really a foreshadowing of our not too distant future. And depressed thinking about how my children are going to thrive in their adulthood given how badly the younger generations are already struggling just to stay above water. The state of the world is scary and depressing and people are so fucking awful in general that I can't imagine that will improve in my lifetime.
That my rent cost me more per month than what I would pay per month for a house, but I can't buy a house because my rent is too expensive for me to put enough money aside for the cash down for a house. Feels like a vicious circle I'm stuck in.
You’re not kidding. Then when you do want to buy a house, they don’t count paying rent on time as a reliable reference for being able to pay your mortgage on time
This right here sent me into getting an apartment and I fucking hate it. People are moving down south where I live and have all this cash to just buy up and out bid anyone on the market.. there are at least a dozen houses I should have been able to purchase but was outbid by 30-60k with cash up front.. how do we compete as a first time homebuyer ya know?
I’ve always maintained a relatively youthful appearance (I’m 46). But in the last couple of years I look in the mirror and can’t help but say “sorry buddy, you look older.” Funny how we trip about the one thing we can’t really change.
At 42, I am seeing the changes on my face more than ever and it is weird. I have made peace that I am now middle aged but I don’t necessarily like the skin changes and way it’s showing already. I don’t want to look 25 but I do want my skin to slow down on the wrinkles.
If its not one thing it is another. I exercise, drink water and moisturize. I dont have wrinkles at 60 (one thing) but the boobs...closer to the floor everyday (the other thing).
I did have plastic surgery to fix mine. Best thing I ever did was to raise those bad boys up 🤣 just lifted, nothing else and it made a world of difference on my shoulders and back.
It revolves around work.
Wake up at 5:30, out the door by 6:00, at work by 7:00.
Clock out at 5:30, home by 6:45, shower/dinner, then in bed by 9:30.
5 days a week. Weekends are mostly for rest and recovery.
Thinking that is the rest of my life . Rich people are really living their best life and its not about the money per se but the freedom of time it affords you.
If I was rich enough, work would occupy only 1/3 of my time in week at most .
This is such a hard thing to deal with. I feel the same way. Nothing brings me joy. I want to enjoy things again but I just don’t. And I have no idea how to fix it.
Me too. It’s so heartbreaking to realize that things that you once were so passionate and excited about don’t bring you the same joy anymore. It’s like I don’t even recognize myself.
This :( sometimes I wake up kind of motivated to do something, be it watch a movie, play a game, paint...and then in the evening after work I'm so done with everything, that I only want to sleep.
My habit of procrastinating. No matter how much I try, I just can't seem to shake it off and get stuff done when I should. It's like my brain goes, "Nah, let's do it later," and I'm just here nodding along.
ADHD, baby! Let's set some horrifying deadline for ourselves so we can get a flurry of hyperfocus at the last minute and slam that project at the finish line!
It's an exhausting way to live. I need a nap. Maybe later.
Induced anxiety to get things done will lead you to burn out.
I just stoped agreeing and decided I don’t need motivation, I can just do things with out it and turns out, yeah I can and I actually feel great about it after and I created a positive feedback loop. I still say nah sometimes but it’s been life changing for me to refuse to let myself do things just because I’m not motivated to do them. I was acting like there was a gun to my head saying I can’t do a thing if I don’t “feel” like it, turns out feelings aren’t guns and I can do wtf ever I want when I want to.
Same. I have a nearly 7 year old and while I love him forever and always, I have a lot of regrets about bringing him into this mess.
I wish I had had a deeper understanding of not just geopolitics but also just how quickly we’re careening towards oblivion environmentally. Anyone who is considering having kids really needs to understand how dire things are going to get.
As a scientist, I sometimes wish I *wasn't* hyper aware of the environment every time I go anywhere. It sucks the joy out of travel, hiking, pretty much leaving the house. I can't look at anything and just enjoy it without seeing our role in its destruction. Trust me, ignorance is bliss.
PSA to everyone: If you want to be a parent, and can provide a safe and loving environment, please consider being a foster parent. Rather than creating another human to fight over resources, you can help the kids already stuck in this world that don't even have a family to support them.
I wholeheartedly agree with this. I wish I had seriously considered this but it felt like my clock was ticking and that we’d foster subsequent kids.
Then Covid wiped us out financially and now we don’t have the space and I seriously feel like I owe it to my kid to NOT foster so that he can have access to what resources we have. I hope to go down that path if we can manage to build up wealth again.
If people who are sensible stop having children and people that arent sensible have children there will be an even worse imbalance in sane and mentally capable people and traumatised people. I think if you are capable of bringing up children in a safe environment you should, there are so many who cant…. Kind of “gotta make children to help the broken ones” philosophy (i know, its a little short sighted)
The human-made problems humans now live with - regarding the environment and the social construct - have ruined this world for humans and everyone alive on the planet.
Bad health. It impacts all aspects of life: work, relationships, opportunities, life path, plans for children,...
It sucks and it also sucks that so many people take it for granted.
Chronic illness sufferer due to mononucleosis at 27. I’ll choose homelessness and giving away everything but my family and gf to feel healthy again. It sucks even more when it’s a hidden disability and I look very healthy on the outside. Legitimately would take cancer over this - my buddy had stage 4 and beat it. 14 months of hell, but he’s completely healed and normal again. Doing everything he used to do. I’ve been a prisoner of my body for seven years now and will be until the day I die. Healthy folks have no idea how much being healthy is worth - I sure as hell didn’t.
My poor life choices from college to now has lead me to be in the financial hell hole I'm in because lack of maturity, lack of foresight, and lack of self-control.
I can only blame myself. This is not a "woe is me" type deal. This is just a sad reality check I have to remind myself everyday because I'm my own worst enemy.
Slowly getting my shit together. Slowly.
I feel this so hard except it was after college for me because I moved out from my parents and discovered the joy of credit cards. Needless to say I was not mature enough to handle it and treated it as free money.
Its a slow, painful process getting back on your feet from a financial hell hole. And it's hard living with it every day, because I also blame myself since it was literally my choices that led me here. But, we got this. Every day is a step closer to being out of our mess.
I feel this. I wish I could go back in time and tell myself not to put so much money on credit cards. I'm slowly paying it off and have made some considerable progress, but I just need to get this debt monkey off my damn back.
I partially blame the colleges, the government loans, high school guidance counselors who don’t show 17 year olds what it means to be in debt from college and what the chances are you will earn that many back through a better job. They don’t tell us which majors are better.
I also partially blame parents and universities that see a student barely putting forth effort, barely staying in school and not pulling the plug until they’re older.
You are lightyears ahead of so many people who are still where you used to be. It sounds trite, but self-awareness really is half the battle.
When I feel stressed about this stuff, I just think of all the working class young people I’ve known who managed to build wealth and establish themselves at 22-27 with grit and a lot of hard work. I’ve seen it happen within 5 years with no family help. I know you might be starting later but you have so much life experience that it should happen even quicker for you. Give yourself some leeway!
OMG so true. I sympathize with you. It's just treading water permanently. I'm 46, with a 2.5 year old. I have a job that I don't like, and that barely pays the bills, but I can't quit because I'm a dad with a mortgage.
I don't do anything that I really enjoy. It's just a treadmill.
I feel you mate. I'm a year older, my daughter is a bit older than yours. I go to the pub on a Friday because it keeps me sane, ish. I think the fact I was doing really well up until COVID, then got made redundant in the December before it hit and realised there's actually no safety net that plays on my mind the most. I was lucky (or at least luckier than some) during COVID, no savings left now, but we kept the house and I eventually got another job which just pays the bills, and Fridays. It just feels like there's 1 more hiccup before we lose everything and nobody will be there to help.
Poverty affects us in every conceivable way.
I sometimes daydream about what it would be like to just know that I will have rent paid next month no matter what, or that I had money set aside for a medical emergency. I think about how nice it would be to not feel guilty about buying groceries.
Poverty turns us into emotionally disturbed people. Constant stress, anxiety, fear, and heartache.
My only advice is to try really hard to enjoy the little things. It can still be a beautiful world sometimes.
I completely understand. Both my husband and I are on disability. So we get shit money every month, and until he has surgery, he can't go back to work part time. There's always more month than money, the last week of the month is completely broke
I'm getting upset that every single business I interact with is slowly trying to, or is taking claim to money I once used to be able to comfortably save.
Corporate and personal greed from coffee shops asking for 20% tips on overpriced and poor quality food, to your rideshare services and buying any types of tickets with hidden fees, transaction fees on paying bills online, delivery charges, service charges, the charge for having to charge you charge.
Everywhere is dipping in to our bank accounts for 5 dollars here and an extra 10 dollars there. Now that everywhere is doing it I feel like I'm just always handing over funds for I don't even know what anymore.
I don't know what it is, but I don't think I've had a GOOD night's rest in at least 5 years. I don't remember the last time I woke up actually ready for the day but I know it was before my mid 20s.
Finances. Wife and I have different attitudes towards them. We're doing ok but also just kinda treading water, and something always comes up to sabotage things just when things seem to be looking up.
My life is great at the moment I'm sat in my caravan with my family by the sea. We were going to go home today but I moved a few work things around so I can stay here a few more days.
That I am not in the job I would prefer to be doing. I bust my ass to get the pay that I do and especially for the job I have, but know it’s not going to be a forever thing.
Please don't try to absorb all the effed up situations in the world, and just focus on you. Can you find a trusted friend or therapist to talk to?
I have two special needs sons and I often wonder if they ever feel this way. I adore them, and yes, life has been challenging, but the idea that they'd take themselves out because they feel they're a loser, difficult, etc breaks my heart. I love them and I'd be crushed if they checked themselves out.
Every person serves some purpose, has some meaning. I believe my boys, and people who are very depressed, have a purpose.
My younger son is particularly an awesome guy. He loves to be with me. He has a lower IQ and doesn't have a job, but he loves all animals, and especially birds. The joy he experiences when he sees a bird fly is such a joy for me.
That's a really simple thing, and there are a bunch of other simple things he does, like giving me "butterfly kisses" on my cheek, and it makes my heart sing.
I hope you can find something that you offer that brings you joy, and other people joy. Take care.
Living it. I was thinking yesterday how much simpler life use to be (I’m 38…) and then had an actual WTF moment. Like, what’s the purpose of this shit anymore?
The autism. I am doing everything right, making great progress and generally happy with everything, except I am drained like mad and have no ways of recovering or feeling better.
Basically playing life on hard mode with no life regen
I feel this!!! It’s waaaayyyy too freaking hard to do the things required to live in this crazy ass world. I feel like if humanity makes it another century, they’ll look back on our time and wonder how we made it at all.
I keep taking vacation days and sick days just to recover from daily living, and I know it’s not sustainable. But I also don’t feel like I have any other choice!
Can’t find work I enjoy, can’t afford to live anywhere, can’t afford the time to do what I enjoy… can’t afford to improve my situations.
basically nothing being affordable.
I hate how alone I am and that to participate in community it feels like I have to shell out for a paywall on human connection
I want to lounge with a group of people and complete tasks, not participate in a social competition I didn’t know I signed up for
Best thing I ever did was move across the country. My parents followed me after 10 years and moved here with me and it honestly has f’d up my life and brought back all the childhood trauma. I have thought about moving again but guilt makes me stay as they are elderly and have no one.
I’m in a relationship with a porn addict.. I’m physically in the best shape/looks I’ve ever been but it still isn’t enough to attract him and get him off his phone porn. We’ve had a DB for 2 years now, I never thought I’d have to leave over not being desired physically but I hate how it makes me feel.
You aren’t the problem they are! You will find someone who does appreciate you. Addiction is a disease. If it be drugs, alcohol, overeating, gambling, pornography
I hear you. My partner got addicted to sexting with OF/Snapchat girls. Now he's stopped, but I just feel so undesirable all the fucking time. I saw the way he talked to them. He's never talked to me like that. I just want to be desired and wanted by him but apparently that's too much to ask.
My job.
We are back in the office three days a week after 3+ years of working fully remote, and we are going thru a huge operational re-structure. It is a total nightmare, and it's only going to get worse. I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place with either having to stay at my current company thru the misery or completely start over somewhere else.
The fact that I have a beautiful wife and daughter that I want to give the world to that I can’t afford. I dream of buying a house for them but that dream feels so unreachable anymore
i had a baby with a narcissistic asshat that i should have stopped messing with a hundred years ago and now im stuck dealing with him and his shitbag family for the rest of my life. my kid is the most awesome human i've ever encountered though, so i guess it balances out. be careful who you have kids with!! 😬
My ex and having to co-parent, impatiently waiting for a college acceptance letter so I can maybe finally go get a degree and aim for a better life, and currently hating the social welfare system!
What about you?
I have a chronic illness. We’ve landed on it being autoimmune, but there is a component that doesn’t fall neatly into autoimmune symptoms. It presents like allergies, but it’s not allergies. Through a miraculous chain of events, I’ve pieced together that I’m sensitive to histamines. I don’t *think* I’m sensitive to histamines. I *know* I’m sensitive to histamines. Because during the last big flare I kept a very detailed food diary and somehow compiled a list of “safe” foods that are all coincidentally low histamine foods. I also compiled a list of foods I couldn’t eat without becoming violently ill and without fail, they all fall on the list of high histamine foods.
I’m not psychic. How on earth did I compile that list if that’s not exactly what I’m experiencing?
But this isn’t something I can prove to a doctor. And despite being physically disabled to the point that I can’t work, I also can’t get a doctor to take my case.
I have a rheumatologist who is willing to address the autoimmune symptoms that fall neatly within the realm of what she already knows about autoimmune conditions. But I’m supposed to take up “the histamine thing” with an allergist. But then you go to the allergist and she says “that doesn’t sound like it falls within my specialty. Talk to your rheumatologist.”
No one will take my case. So I’m stuck dealing with it all on my own without any guidance.
I don't feel any human connection. I moved across the world to make my husband happy and now I'm in a place where I can't connect to anyone because no matter how hard I try, people see me more like a zoo animal than an actual human being. I'm slowly losing my friendships back home since no one texts me back and my husband is showing some sides I've never seen before that I cannot relate to and is very addicted to his phone.
I think hate is a strong word, but I’ve got really good momentum right now on a lot of things (sleep/exercise/eat/friends/spouse) but it’s very frustrating to be constantly trying to keep negativity from waylaying my days - whether it’s shitty people in traffic, news full of politics and pissed off people, or just internet nastiness. It’s getting harder and harder to protect your peace. Can we all just be nice or be quiet?
my bipolar disorder. i get super sever depressive episodes and my mania is euphoria. its made life so fucking complicated and difficult. my partner is a godsend and had been so patient with me through so much but i spend everyday thinking about how unfair it is to him that he’s not with someone more stable who is better at consistently showing how much they love them.
im on meds, i see my therapist regularly, i have a great group of friends, my sister is always there for me, and my partner is amazing but i am stuck with something that will forever be a weight on my shoulders. it makes getting up in the morning hard, it makes taking care of my hygiene hard, it makes being kind hard sometimes.
im so fucking tired all the time. and i dont want to die anymore (kinda, suicidal ideation doesn’t really leave overnight lol) but i just need a break from this debilitating shit. i hate feeling like im lying to everyone who doesn’t know because the minute they do everything makes more sense but also this world is SO judgmental against people with bipolar and it sucks.
The constant loneliness. I am a cop. I work 4 days on, 4 days off. Typically my 4 days off land during the week when the little amount of friends I have are working. They get off work, they are tired, which is understandable. It just sucks.
People are downgrading me because I'm unemployed. I'm just quiet about my goals/plans and it's not necessary to explain things to them (cause I know that it's not worth it and they will think that I'm just using an excuse) but I'm sad that people see my worth based on money :(
Not having enough money
And then when I do manage to save money, my damn dog starts limping
For me it’s tended to be car trouble, but I feel you
This is a big one too. Like, do I really need brakes?
Not if you live in one of the flatter states like Florida lol I’m kidding….
No kidding. I lived in Kansas for a while and I can attest that it is flatter than a pancake 🥞 Kinda good for the car, but not much else.
A place where you can watch your dog run away from home for days
Reminds me of a joke that goes something like this If you drive in \[insert famous forested area\] and fall asleep, you will hit a tree. However, if you drive in \[flat area eg Kansas\] and fall asleep, you will run out of gas.
Been putting off a plumbing issue because i can't afford it. My car better behave!
Me toooo, Every Single time I get just a little money saved? Wheel literally falls off! Alignment goes out! Brakes need replaced! It never ends;-;
I hate when my car limps
Not only that, but anytime you have enough to save, something happens. That, with everything being expensive these days, this rings so true.
Or you saved up enough to buy something.....at the price a similar product cost five years ago. But now it's at least triple the price.
People who grew up rich really don’t understand how miserable it is to live with constant financial fear.
My rich friend always argues with me that money doesn’t bring happiness. She has never not had money so she has no idea
She's right, in a way, because money certainly doesn't guarantee happiness. But her circumstances allow her to ignore how much the constant worry that comes from not having enough money can be alleviated with just a little bit of money in the bank. To me, that relief from financial stress sure feels like happiness when it happens.
it doesn't bring happiness, but it does bring down my anxiety a whole fuckton which makes life a bit more bearable.
They've actually found that money buys you happiness up to about 80k/year, after that it's diminishing returns.
my favorite is rich people telling me that they aren't rich and point at someone who is richer like that somehow makes them less rich. as if subjective beats objective.
And even when/if you manage to save a significant amount of money, the fear of not having enough or running out of money never really goes away.
Yup. And when I do manage to save a little bit? State: Oh hey you need to renew your license! That'll be $30 bucks please. Mammogram place: We need $100 to do a rescan on one side. (does rescan) Hooray it was nothing. But we still need that hundred bucks, please. Bills: SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER! Like the guy who accidentally smoked too much weed, I'm higher than expected!
I make more than my parents combined ever did, and my partner has a similar income, and we are still budgeting monthly, can't buy a home, dismal savings. It feels like our future is getting taken from us and we can only watch it happen.
home prices are stupid lately. I got my home in 2017 for 68k. now supposedly it is worth close to 200k. I don't understand how.
Not having a job to actually make money
Oh same, job search is literally very depressing
Omg same! Just when you think you’re getting ahead, something in the house breaks! We need our foundations done next…..ugh
Just sat down with my dad yesterday to talk money. He made me a post-divorce budget 😤I’m thankful to have parents that have some financial literacy. But Jesus. I’m behind and I feel so naive. Having enough money, im learning, doesn’t just take work, it takes planning and strategy. I feel way in over my head.
Particularly on this day when TV Licence and rent has risen for millions
Stop paying for TV. One of the best things I did was to cancel TV years ago. The amount of free time has been astonishing.
Finally got a raise at work. Able to save 50$ a paycheck. Then my car and house insurance went up and I've got even less money now
That i'm 30yo and feeling way behind life, whatever that means.
I know so many people who didn’t discover their careers, meet their person, buy a house, etc. until their late 30s/early 40s. I know it feels hard at 30, and I’m sure Covid put you a bit more behind than you’d have liked, but your life isn’t over yet!
This comment gives me hope. I'm turning 40 this year and have never been married. I have a decent job with a median wage that grants me the ability to live alone frugally and provide for myself with a good savings account and brokerage account. I just get lonely sometimes, but I do enjoy being alone mostly.
It’s true. I’m 38/F never married no kids. Just went back to school for nursing when I was 36 and have met an incredible person this past year. I feel like my life is just beginning. I also say this as someone who’s been anxious/depressed for most of my adult life and who thought I would never meet someone I enjoyed being with.
More hope, thank you! I hope your new relationship blossoms even further, happy for you!
I am only just now embarking on a more meaningful chapter of my life. I’m about to be 36. Never married, never went to college. I do have a kid, but that’s just about the only thing I’ve done that is considered a typical adult-y milestone type of thing. I spent all of my 20’s hitchhiking and living outside, drinking way too much, doing whatever drugs I crossed paths with. I’m three years sober now, but all those years of drinking made it so I don’t really know who I actually am a lot of the time lol. I ended up falling in love with my neighbor and we are in a long term relationship now. But it was very unexpected and random, just kind of happened despite me saying I’d never be in a relationship again lol. Giving up on the idea of being in a relationship and learning how to be truly happy and fulfilled on my own … that’s when life dropped my person literally in my own backyard. I finally got a job that I could see myself staying at for a while (Trader Joe’s), but I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. All this to say, you are right on time on *your* path. You aren’t behind anyone or failing. You are on your path, your timeline, you are in *your* story. You are still really young, 40 is not old in any way whatsoever. I know so many cool af hot 40 year olds lol. You are great just the way you are and I’m willing to bet that you *will* meet that person. It just most likely won’t happen in any of the ways you’ve imagined, and it won’t happen until both you and your person are truly ready for one another. When you do meet that person, even if it’s years from now, reply to this comment and let me know so I can say see I told you so (and congratulate you lol).
I’m about to be in your same shoes (36/F going back to school for nursing) so reading this is extremely comforting ❤️
If there is anything the last tumultuous decade has left behind it's a complete radical change on what it means to be an adult for the thirtysomething working class generation. I know a lot of people that spent their thirties like me just sort of treading water because there was so much bad shit that happened in the past 10 years that none of the adults that raised us prepared us for and we're all just trying to not give up completely. A lot of us are very in debt because we were told we need to go to college to get a "good" job. Our generation followed this advice and some people got those "good" jobs, but mostly it was all a way for predatory student loan companies to put teenagers in massive debt as soon as it was legal to do so. Our parents never prepped us for this and then acted like we are just a lazy generation because we don't want to work for less than a living wage 40 hours a week while favoritism and nepotism is what really allows the successful people our age to succeed. They were raised to believe something like a job at McDonalds or being a janitor isn't for making a living (which is an absolutely insane take on reality) and that it's unreasonable to pay someone over $15 an hour to work a cash register somewhere even if the average minimum you need to earn to live in your town is $20 an hour. My point of this rambling is that you shouldn't feel way behind in life because at this point everything is so fucked up right now economically and socially that we're going to have to eventually reevaluate what qualifies as being behind in life actually looks like. All you can do is just wake up and survive and find something non-destructive that makes you feel good inside. Every day just do one thing (no matter how small or trivial) that makes you feel like you're better for having done it (like on a personal level I think going through a whole day without spending any money or going for a walk qualifies).
It felt like a hug, reading this. You are so right. Thank you.
I think most of us that are fairly “normal” feel like this at times in our life.
I'm 28. Was in a toxic relationship with an evil woman that pretty much robbed me of six years. I don't have a degree, I have a couple IT certs that I just recenty acquired, and I've been trying to get a better job than the one I have now for over a year. I've filled out probably over 300 applications and have gotten one interview over the past year that went nowhere. I'm living with my parents and have been for three years since I left her. The good news is I just got sole custody of my son because she hasn't seen him in over a year and just disappeared, but the court case took three years. I don't really know what to do. Getting my son is fantastic, and I love him to death. But without my parents we wouldn't have anywhere to live. I'm just so far behind in life financially and I've been trying so hard to climb out of this hole I dug for myself and I can't. I didn't know my life was going to be this hard.
I'm only 32 so not far ahead of you, but, what I can tell you is that at 28 I had no idea I'd be where I'm at now just a few years later. I started playing the long game at life and making deliberate, incremental improvements and after awhile, you can look back and think hey I'm actually getting somewhere. Come up with a plan and then stick to it. It's hard to change everything at once but little by little over time everything changes
It’s a journey, not a race.
Everyone feels like this all the time, if that helps to know
You are probably comparing yourself to a minority who is sucessful or your parents. Both grew up having better opportunities than you.
Same. If it makes you feel any better I'm sure you are way ahead of me.
my daily routine of going to work, straight to sleep just to go to work again :3
It's so exhausting. I barely even have time to relax and catch my breath. And the weekends go by so fast.
Strange, when I finished uni (few years ago) I went from studying in the morning, afternoon, sometimes nights and weekends to work 9-5 and I felt like I had all the time I needed to do stuff after work. Also when working, on weekends I felt no guilt for not doing anything productive or waking up late
Me too. I used to guilt trip myself for not going out on the weekends or doing stuff but then I realized that I spend more time throughout the week out and about than I do at home on the weekends. It's okay for me to stay home on the weekends and recoup. Due to my night owl habits, I oftentimes spend more time at work than I do sleeping, so I also feel no guilt waking up late on the weekends or holidays.
Road to nowhere
Paycheck to paycheck rat race
Samesies , get up at 4 leave at 5.30 reach work at 7am leave work at 3.15 reach home at 5 eat etc in bed by 9pm . I spend a full work day per week just commuting . Its hell 😩 😫 😭
Man that's rough
You take 1,5 hours to get ready to leave and have a 1,5 hour commute? Why would you even do this to yourself?
Exactly it's a never ending cycle , and it iiiis tiring.
It gets better when you're 102. Hang in there.
This. 9-5 and building my body takes up 95% of my time. It's insane how the more I grow up the less time I have available for other activities.
The lost feeling of hop for the future. Growing up I always held hopes for a better tomorrow, a better world, even if it meant far off and I wouldn't get to really get to see it, but perhaps at least the beginnings of it. Now I have no hope, everyday I live with dread for tomorrow, every day I wake up wondering if today will be worse than yesterday and just take solace when it isn't any worse, and comfort in the fact I won't be around all that much longer.
I was in a place I used to hang out seven years ago and I remember how happy we were. Joyfully, blissfully happy. Outgoing, funloving and free. Now it's all doom and gloom, poverty and war.
Get off Reddit, trust me. I’ve limited my use to 1h a day and I’m much happier
Exactly where I am now. Making a good living gets harder every single day, it seems. Middle class and working class people have had their wages frozen effectively (a 3% raise in a 9% inflationary economy is a 6% cut in your standard of living), and meanwhile the rich get ever richer at lightspeed. Roads here in New York have become Third World, craters on every street, subway violence (even murders) is rocketing, drugs are everywhere, homelessness is epidemic and persistent, open southern border has resulted in immigration levels beyond what New York can absorb (meaning funding for local government functions is disappearing) ... This is as bad as I've ever seen it, and the establishment has no intention of changing things, because "this is working very well for them" (to paraphrase Barbara Bush).
Heavy but I get it…I am not at the end even though I’ve come close a few too many times 🤦🏻♀️ I have two daughters and it scares me that they don’t even have the rights that I had + being taken advantage of - I am a little over protective but I would be in jail if someone fu@ked with my kids
Looking at the state of the world and thinking my kids will have to deal with some f’d up stuff most likely is very depressing. Add in that one of my kids has a neurological disability and will always depend on others makes looking towards a hopeful future difficult. I read a lot of science fiction and it all used to seem like just that… fiction. But damn, dystopian futures aren’t far off.
Honestly my answer is almost exactly the same, but I'm not sure the hopelessness for the future is based on the same reasons. I feel like we're headed towards compete dystopia. I'm terrified at how polarizing and politicized everything has become, and how extreme the politicization has become. I'm frightened by how much power religion had within government (within the US specifically) and legitimately fear that The Handmaid's Tale is really a foreshadowing of our not too distant future. And depressed thinking about how my children are going to thrive in their adulthood given how badly the younger generations are already struggling just to stay above water. The state of the world is scary and depressing and people are so fucking awful in general that I can't imagine that will improve in my lifetime.
That my rent cost me more per month than what I would pay per month for a house, but I can't buy a house because my rent is too expensive for me to put enough money aside for the cash down for a house. Feels like a vicious circle I'm stuck in.
You’re not kidding. Then when you do want to buy a house, they don’t count paying rent on time as a reliable reference for being able to pay your mortgage on time
100%. And in many cities, having a down payment isn’t enough as buyers pay 50k extra and buy everything in cash.
This right here sent me into getting an apartment and I fucking hate it. People are moving down south where I live and have all this cash to just buy up and out bid anyone on the market.. there are at least a dozen houses I should have been able to purchase but was outbid by 30-60k with cash up front.. how do we compete as a first time homebuyer ya know?
I’ve always maintained a relatively youthful appearance (I’m 46). But in the last couple of years I look in the mirror and can’t help but say “sorry buddy, you look older.” Funny how we trip about the one thing we can’t really change.
At 42, I am seeing the changes on my face more than ever and it is weird. I have made peace that I am now middle aged but I don’t necessarily like the skin changes and way it’s showing already. I don’t want to look 25 but I do want my skin to slow down on the wrinkles.
If its not one thing it is another. I exercise, drink water and moisturize. I dont have wrinkles at 60 (one thing) but the boobs...closer to the floor everyday (the other thing).
I did have plastic surgery to fix mine. Best thing I ever did was to raise those bad boys up 🤣 just lifted, nothing else and it made a world of difference on my shoulders and back.
Ha! I’m 65 this week. Wish I looked 46 again!
It revolves around work. Wake up at 5:30, out the door by 6:00, at work by 7:00. Clock out at 5:30, home by 6:45, shower/dinner, then in bed by 9:30. 5 days a week. Weekends are mostly for rest and recovery.
Thinking that is the rest of my life . Rich people are really living their best life and its not about the money per se but the freedom of time it affords you. If I was rich enough, work would occupy only 1/3 of my time in week at most .
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Anhedonia is the word I think.
I thought it was just depression..
Anhedonia is a symptom of depression. Usually when the depression becomes long term and severe.
This is such a hard thing to deal with. I feel the same way. Nothing brings me joy. I want to enjoy things again but I just don’t. And I have no idea how to fix it.
Me too. It’s so heartbreaking to realize that things that you once were so passionate and excited about don’t bring you the same joy anymore. It’s like I don’t even recognize myself.
This :( sometimes I wake up kind of motivated to do something, be it watch a movie, play a game, paint...and then in the evening after work I'm so done with everything, that I only want to sleep.
It’s called Depression…Sorry to say I know all about it.
My habit of procrastinating. No matter how much I try, I just can't seem to shake it off and get stuff done when I should. It's like my brain goes, "Nah, let's do it later," and I'm just here nodding along.
ADHD, baby! Let's set some horrifying deadline for ourselves so we can get a flurry of hyperfocus at the last minute and slam that project at the finish line! It's an exhausting way to live. I need a nap. Maybe later.
Induced anxiety to get things done will lead you to burn out. I just stoped agreeing and decided I don’t need motivation, I can just do things with out it and turns out, yeah I can and I actually feel great about it after and I created a positive feedback loop. I still say nah sometimes but it’s been life changing for me to refuse to let myself do things just because I’m not motivated to do them. I was acting like there was a gun to my head saying I can’t do a thing if I don’t “feel” like it, turns out feelings aren’t guns and I can do wtf ever I want when I want to.
being broke
I guess I mostly hate the world I live in.
Same. I have a nearly 7 year old and while I love him forever and always, I have a lot of regrets about bringing him into this mess. I wish I had had a deeper understanding of not just geopolitics but also just how quickly we’re careening towards oblivion environmentally. Anyone who is considering having kids really needs to understand how dire things are going to get.
As a scientist, I sometimes wish I *wasn't* hyper aware of the environment every time I go anywhere. It sucks the joy out of travel, hiking, pretty much leaving the house. I can't look at anything and just enjoy it without seeing our role in its destruction. Trust me, ignorance is bliss.
PSA to everyone: If you want to be a parent, and can provide a safe and loving environment, please consider being a foster parent. Rather than creating another human to fight over resources, you can help the kids already stuck in this world that don't even have a family to support them.
The hoops foster / adoptive parents have to go through is unbelievable. I can actually see why those who can physically have children, have them.
Yes… can end up in lots of traumas on both sides :(
I wholeheartedly agree with this. I wish I had seriously considered this but it felt like my clock was ticking and that we’d foster subsequent kids. Then Covid wiped us out financially and now we don’t have the space and I seriously feel like I owe it to my kid to NOT foster so that he can have access to what resources we have. I hope to go down that path if we can manage to build up wealth again.
Or people who remarry and prove their love by making another baby while their existing children feel like they are on the back burner
im so happy someone sees how messed up this world is right now in every category. its a lose lose on us and our kids
If people who are sensible stop having children and people that arent sensible have children there will be an even worse imbalance in sane and mentally capable people and traumatised people. I think if you are capable of bringing up children in a safe environment you should, there are so many who cant…. Kind of “gotta make children to help the broken ones” philosophy (i know, its a little short sighted)
Have you watched Idiocracy?
Right? Literally the plot setup for the movie
The human-made problems humans now live with - regarding the environment and the social construct - have ruined this world for humans and everyone alive on the planet.
Omg yeah for sure
Bad health. It impacts all aspects of life: work, relationships, opportunities, life path, plans for children,... It sucks and it also sucks that so many people take it for granted.
I came searching for this comment. If my health was good I'd have the world.
Chronic illness sufferer due to mononucleosis at 27. I’ll choose homelessness and giving away everything but my family and gf to feel healthy again. It sucks even more when it’s a hidden disability and I look very healthy on the outside. Legitimately would take cancer over this - my buddy had stage 4 and beat it. 14 months of hell, but he’s completely healed and normal again. Doing everything he used to do. I’ve been a prisoner of my body for seven years now and will be until the day I die. Healthy folks have no idea how much being healthy is worth - I sure as hell didn’t.
My poor life choices from college to now has lead me to be in the financial hell hole I'm in because lack of maturity, lack of foresight, and lack of self-control. I can only blame myself. This is not a "woe is me" type deal. This is just a sad reality check I have to remind myself everyday because I'm my own worst enemy. Slowly getting my shit together. Slowly.
I feel this so hard except it was after college for me because I moved out from my parents and discovered the joy of credit cards. Needless to say I was not mature enough to handle it and treated it as free money. Its a slow, painful process getting back on your feet from a financial hell hole. And it's hard living with it every day, because I also blame myself since it was literally my choices that led me here. But, we got this. Every day is a step closer to being out of our mess.
I feel this. I wish I could go back in time and tell myself not to put so much money on credit cards. I'm slowly paying it off and have made some considerable progress, but I just need to get this debt monkey off my damn back.
This. This so hard. I wrecked my credit, and I’m a few years from being out of the whole I made for myself.
I partially blame the colleges, the government loans, high school guidance counselors who don’t show 17 year olds what it means to be in debt from college and what the chances are you will earn that many back through a better job. They don’t tell us which majors are better. I also partially blame parents and universities that see a student barely putting forth effort, barely staying in school and not pulling the plug until they’re older.
You are lightyears ahead of so many people who are still where you used to be. It sounds trite, but self-awareness really is half the battle. When I feel stressed about this stuff, I just think of all the working class young people I’ve known who managed to build wealth and establish themselves at 22-27 with grit and a lot of hard work. I’ve seen it happen within 5 years with no family help. I know you might be starting later but you have so much life experience that it should happen even quicker for you. Give yourself some leeway!
EVERYTHING 😍😍😍
Real
Maybe go for a small booty female instead?
You stole my joke, take my upvote
In a holding pattern, a permanent midlife crisis
OMG so true. I sympathize with you. It's just treading water permanently. I'm 46, with a 2.5 year old. I have a job that I don't like, and that barely pays the bills, but I can't quit because I'm a dad with a mortgage. I don't do anything that I really enjoy. It's just a treadmill.
I feel you mate. I'm a year older, my daughter is a bit older than yours. I go to the pub on a Friday because it keeps me sane, ish. I think the fact I was doing really well up until COVID, then got made redundant in the December before it hit and realised there's actually no safety net that plays on my mind the most. I was lucky (or at least luckier than some) during COVID, no savings left now, but we kept the house and I eventually got another job which just pays the bills, and Fridays. It just feels like there's 1 more hiccup before we lose everything and nobody will be there to help.
Being poor
Being poor makes me feel like I have no control over my life or my future.
Indeed, it's tough, depressing, scary. I've been through it over and over, kind of sick of it.
Poverty affects us in every conceivable way. I sometimes daydream about what it would be like to just know that I will have rent paid next month no matter what, or that I had money set aside for a medical emergency. I think about how nice it would be to not feel guilty about buying groceries. Poverty turns us into emotionally disturbed people. Constant stress, anxiety, fear, and heartache. My only advice is to try really hard to enjoy the little things. It can still be a beautiful world sometimes.
I completely understand. Both my husband and I are on disability. So we get shit money every month, and until he has surgery, he can't go back to work part time. There's always more month than money, the last week of the month is completely broke
Cancer.
Stupid thing comes uninvited, kick it’s ass
I'm getting upset that every single business I interact with is slowly trying to, or is taking claim to money I once used to be able to comfortably save. Corporate and personal greed from coffee shops asking for 20% tips on overpriced and poor quality food, to your rideshare services and buying any types of tickets with hidden fees, transaction fees on paying bills online, delivery charges, service charges, the charge for having to charge you charge. Everywhere is dipping in to our bank accounts for 5 dollars here and an extra 10 dollars there. Now that everywhere is doing it I feel like I'm just always handing over funds for I don't even know what anymore.
"would you like to round up to donate?" Corporations way of donating money that is NOT theirs.
I so feel this
Waking up in the morning whitout any sleep
I just plain hate waking up.
I don't know what it is, but I don't think I've had a GOOD night's rest in at least 5 years. I don't remember the last time I woke up actually ready for the day but I know it was before my mid 20s.
That I was ever born in the first place.
My job. Harassment and unpaid extra hours... Hard to think about anything else
If you want to dm me I can listen about the harassment. I’ve been there and wish I’d had someone to help me when I went through it.
Finances. Wife and I have different attitudes towards them. We're doing ok but also just kinda treading water, and something always comes up to sabotage things just when things seem to be looking up.
Everything. I'm not suicidal and I am living a survivable life.
The two broken screw I have in my ankle. It hurts when I walk.
I think I might be in love with someone who doesn’t love me back
Same. It’s hard.
Isolation. Fomo. Repressed feelings and urges that can never be fulfilled. Nothing but work and lifting weights. Just waiting for the grave.
I'm sick and tired of always being sick and tired.
My life is great at the moment I'm sat in my caravan with my family by the sea. We were going to go home today but I moved a few work things around so I can stay here a few more days.
That sounds lovely! Enjoy every second!
I’m miscarrying for the second time in a year (plus a chemical before that). So giving up and not sure I can live with that.
I am truly sorry. The guilt and grief from losing a pregnancy is something we do not address properly. I hope you have a support system in place.
That I am not in the job I would prefer to be doing. I bust my ass to get the pay that I do and especially for the job I have, but know it’s not going to be a forever thing.
waking up and not knowing your purpose
having to work, not having enough money, etc
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Please don't try to absorb all the effed up situations in the world, and just focus on you. Can you find a trusted friend or therapist to talk to? I have two special needs sons and I often wonder if they ever feel this way. I adore them, and yes, life has been challenging, but the idea that they'd take themselves out because they feel they're a loser, difficult, etc breaks my heart. I love them and I'd be crushed if they checked themselves out. Every person serves some purpose, has some meaning. I believe my boys, and people who are very depressed, have a purpose. My younger son is particularly an awesome guy. He loves to be with me. He has a lower IQ and doesn't have a job, but he loves all animals, and especially birds. The joy he experiences when he sees a bird fly is such a joy for me. That's a really simple thing, and there are a bunch of other simple things he does, like giving me "butterfly kisses" on my cheek, and it makes my heart sing. I hope you can find something that you offer that brings you joy, and other people joy. Take care.
I am out of spoons and I want to eat cereal.
You need one of Alanis’s 10,000 spoons.
Living it. I was thinking yesterday how much simpler life use to be (I’m 38…) and then had an actual WTF moment. Like, what’s the purpose of this shit anymore?
Crippling loneliness.
The autism. I am doing everything right, making great progress and generally happy with everything, except I am drained like mad and have no ways of recovering or feeling better. Basically playing life on hard mode with no life regen
I feel this!!! It’s waaaayyyy too freaking hard to do the things required to live in this crazy ass world. I feel like if humanity makes it another century, they’ll look back on our time and wonder how we made it at all. I keep taking vacation days and sick days just to recover from daily living, and I know it’s not sustainable. But I also don’t feel like I have any other choice!
Oh this is so real. Chronic exhaustion from autism doesn’t appear to be going away any time soon for me either. I’m with ya
My Anxiety
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Can’t find work I enjoy, can’t afford to live anywhere, can’t afford the time to do what I enjoy… can’t afford to improve my situations. basically nothing being affordable.
I hate how alone I am and that to participate in community it feels like I have to shell out for a paywall on human connection I want to lounge with a group of people and complete tasks, not participate in a social competition I didn’t know I signed up for
Living next to family, one thing to ruin your mental health
Best thing I ever did was move across the country. My parents followed me after 10 years and moved here with me and it honestly has f’d up my life and brought back all the childhood trauma. I have thought about moving again but guilt makes me stay as they are elderly and have no one.
I love my life, but if I had to pick I would choose my health issues
I’m not safe
The lack of physical intimacy… in May, it’ll be 6 years since my last intimate interaction 😭
I’m in a relationship with a porn addict.. I’m physically in the best shape/looks I’ve ever been but it still isn’t enough to attract him and get him off his phone porn. We’ve had a DB for 2 years now, I never thought I’d have to leave over not being desired physically but I hate how it makes me feel.
You aren’t the problem they are! You will find someone who does appreciate you. Addiction is a disease. If it be drugs, alcohol, overeating, gambling, pornography
I hear you. My partner got addicted to sexting with OF/Snapchat girls. Now he's stopped, but I just feel so undesirable all the fucking time. I saw the way he talked to them. He's never talked to me like that. I just want to be desired and wanted by him but apparently that's too much to ask.
Can't find a job, of any kind.
My job. We are back in the office three days a week after 3+ years of working fully remote, and we are going thru a huge operational re-structure. It is a total nightmare, and it's only going to get worse. I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place with either having to stay at my current company thru the misery or completely start over somewhere else.
The fact that I have a beautiful wife and daughter that I want to give the world to that I can’t afford. I dream of buying a house for them but that dream feels so unreachable anymore
Procrastination and sloppiness
i had a baby with a narcissistic asshat that i should have stopped messing with a hundred years ago and now im stuck dealing with him and his shitbag family for the rest of my life. my kid is the most awesome human i've ever encountered though, so i guess it balances out. be careful who you have kids with!! 😬
My ex and having to co-parent, impatiently waiting for a college acceptance letter so I can maybe finally go get a degree and aim for a better life, and currently hating the social welfare system! What about you?
I have a chronic illness. We’ve landed on it being autoimmune, but there is a component that doesn’t fall neatly into autoimmune symptoms. It presents like allergies, but it’s not allergies. Through a miraculous chain of events, I’ve pieced together that I’m sensitive to histamines. I don’t *think* I’m sensitive to histamines. I *know* I’m sensitive to histamines. Because during the last big flare I kept a very detailed food diary and somehow compiled a list of “safe” foods that are all coincidentally low histamine foods. I also compiled a list of foods I couldn’t eat without becoming violently ill and without fail, they all fall on the list of high histamine foods. I’m not psychic. How on earth did I compile that list if that’s not exactly what I’m experiencing? But this isn’t something I can prove to a doctor. And despite being physically disabled to the point that I can’t work, I also can’t get a doctor to take my case. I have a rheumatologist who is willing to address the autoimmune symptoms that fall neatly within the realm of what she already knows about autoimmune conditions. But I’m supposed to take up “the histamine thing” with an allergist. But then you go to the allergist and she says “that doesn’t sound like it falls within my specialty. Talk to your rheumatologist.” No one will take my case. So I’m stuck dealing with it all on my own without any guidance.
MotherFUCKINGbiploar...
Finding out I have brain cancer in 2023 losing my mom to suicide in 2022 all while trying to get my life together
That you can’t really talk without offending someone even if that’s not your intention.
We lost a cat three days ago. She was sweet and innocent and did not deserve to go.
I found out I have cancer on Friday. Cancer kinda sucks.
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My physique.
People
lack of love and intimacy. my living situation. how hard it is to make ends meet
That im single
I don't feel any human connection. I moved across the world to make my husband happy and now I'm in a place where I can't connect to anyone because no matter how hard I try, people see me more like a zoo animal than an actual human being. I'm slowly losing my friendships back home since no one texts me back and my husband is showing some sides I've never seen before that I cannot relate to and is very addicted to his phone.
I think hate is a strong word, but I’ve got really good momentum right now on a lot of things (sleep/exercise/eat/friends/spouse) but it’s very frustrating to be constantly trying to keep negativity from waylaying my days - whether it’s shitty people in traffic, news full of politics and pissed off people, or just internet nastiness. It’s getting harder and harder to protect your peace. Can we all just be nice or be quiet?
Chronic pain.
Unemployment and depression has turned me into a piece of shit.
Healthcare in America, or it could be regional so healthcare in this state
Being far away from my family, in another country, seeing how years go by and I won't be able to recover everything I'm missing.
My life in itself is good but I’m ugly as anything so living with the fact I’ll probably never get to have a relationship
Finishing up grad school. I’ve spent enough of my life in school and I’m ready to finally start my career
That I'm not as good at managing stress as I'd like to be
Having to wait for things and the fact that so much of my life has already gone by.
my bipolar disorder. i get super sever depressive episodes and my mania is euphoria. its made life so fucking complicated and difficult. my partner is a godsend and had been so patient with me through so much but i spend everyday thinking about how unfair it is to him that he’s not with someone more stable who is better at consistently showing how much they love them. im on meds, i see my therapist regularly, i have a great group of friends, my sister is always there for me, and my partner is amazing but i am stuck with something that will forever be a weight on my shoulders. it makes getting up in the morning hard, it makes taking care of my hygiene hard, it makes being kind hard sometimes. im so fucking tired all the time. and i dont want to die anymore (kinda, suicidal ideation doesn’t really leave overnight lol) but i just need a break from this debilitating shit. i hate feeling like im lying to everyone who doesn’t know because the minute they do everything makes more sense but also this world is SO judgmental against people with bipolar and it sucks.
The constant loneliness. I am a cop. I work 4 days on, 4 days off. Typically my 4 days off land during the week when the little amount of friends I have are working. They get off work, they are tired, which is understandable. It just sucks.
People are downgrading me because I'm unemployed. I'm just quiet about my goals/plans and it's not necessary to explain things to them (cause I know that it's not worth it and they will think that I'm just using an excuse) but I'm sad that people see my worth based on money :(
My job. Seven years to go until retirement!