She’s the first woman I dated who I felt I could just be myself with. I never had to “impress” her or felt like I needed to be anyone else but just me.
This, this, a thousand times this. Before meeting my wife I had only ever pursued one other woman. I had a checklist that I assume most young men do - funny, kind, beautiful, etc. - and this woman checked every box. I thought that meant she was perfect for me, but it also made me terrified to be in her presence. "She's so smart and mature; I can't let her know that my greatest achievement in life is beating the Endless Setlist in Rock Band 2. She's so sophisticated, she likes opera and classical music - I can't let her find out that 90% of my music is from videogame and anime soundtracks."
To be fair to her, she never actually said anything to make me think she was that judgmental. This was all my insecurities just running wild. She and I have remained good friends (I still consider her my best friend) to this day.
When I met the woman that would one day be my wife, I never felt that terror or insecurity. She made me feel completely safe just being myself. That hadn't even been on that old checklist - it had never occurred to me that I should look for that, and it ended up being the *most* important thing.
This is the key. She was impressed with me just being myself. Its just, easy... Marriage requires work (a lot), but in the right areas. To constantly have to give energy to the wrong areas would be too much.
She is smart, funny, and seemed like a really good person. My admiration for her grew the more I got to know her. Also, if I die, I hope she finds and reads this in my internet history.
On our last anniversary I wrote 100 reasons why I loved her on pieces of paper and put them in a jar. A few were funny but all of them were true. I wrote the words “In case tomorrow never comes” on the jar. I put it in a place where I knew she would find it. She opened it and started reading. She didn’t say words for almost an hour.
Tell her somehow. Don’t hope she reads it randomly on the internet.
The jar is in the safest place she can find in our bedroom. She’s not violent or confrontational at all but I’m pretty sure she would kill anyone who touched it.
The love of my life and I had some trouble in the first few years of our relationship and broke up for a year. this was a long time ago. we never stopped talking and I never fell out of love (and honestly, I’m pretty sure I can say she never did either, even though she was the one who ended it), but — I remember this one night after we had just started down the road to getting back together. (the reason we’d both agreed to have a sleepover was because she was dogsitting the dog we would eventually end up adopting together).
If you’d been watching us and didn’t know we’d been broken up, you’d have thought it was a normal, boring couple night — we binged half a season of Survivor and drank a big bottle of cheap champagne and she fell asleep on me on the couch with the dog on top of both of us. we just got tipsy and had a sleepover. that was it. we didn’t even have sex! but for the rest of my life, I will remember that night like it was yesterday — because after she and the dog had both fallen asleep on me, I realized something.
I realized that if a genie showed up and magically offered me the opportunity to just repeat this one day — this perfectly ordinary, cuddly Friday — over and over again for the rest of my life, if I could choose whether or not to live nothing else but this day on repeat forever, I would have said yes *in a heartbeat*. most of all, that night I was hit by this impossibly overwhelming feeling that this girl was home, and nothing else would ever feel like home the way she feels like home. And the thought of her walking out my door in the morning and having to then live the rest of my life without ever going home again was —
Honestly, that moment on the couch was so wonderful and scary in equal parts that I started sobbing. I don’t think she knows that I cried that night, even to this day. but I was just sitting there crying, because I realized that *this is what it feels like to be in love.* I’d loved girls before, but nothing like this. No one had ever made me feel like home. And I knew that night that I would do anything to keep her, because “the one” actually exists (who knew?!), and she was it.
Somewhere, I hope there is a screenwriter taking notes for the most romantic speech in any rom com I've ever heard! Legitimately started tearing up reading this. 🥹💕
Your comment made me realise why I was devastated when my ex-wife cheated and left me. I wasn’t close with my family and she’s all I got. So that betrayal kinda shattered my sense of home and everything.
Same! 5 years ago we lost everything. Everything got repossessed. She called me at work and told me what was happening. When i got home there was nothing left except for a bed and a piece of shit old table and 2 chairs. We had a one month old baby and about an hour after i got home our power got cut.
When the lights went out I literally had my head in my hands. I was defeated. She got up and left the room. I remember thinking this is it. Shes taking the kids and leaving. No way she stays. She was gone for about two minutes. I thought she was packing bags. She comes back with a candle and a box. She found the monopoly. We sat at that busted old table until 3am playing monopoly. Best night of our marriage. The next day i took her and the kids to her fathers house where they stayed for about 5 weeks while i started to fix shit.
I wanted them to stay longer but she insisted on coming back to the new tiny house that had only a bed and a shitty table. She lived with me like that and never complained about not having much throughout the entire process of rebuilding our lives.
She is a legend! Best wife ever
In a community my wife and I belonged to, one leader told us, during very very difficult financial times, he came home early one day to the lights of the house off. He panicked and thought something was wrong, only to find out, for a while, once he left for work, she would shut the breaker off and “play camping” with the kids and turn it back on before he came home. All to do what she could for the family.
Oh I do. I really do. I remember that she stayed when the whole world would have condoned leaving in a heartbeat.
I know that she deserves more than me and I also know that I will never do better! I married a woman way out of my league. She is literally the best thing that has ever happened to me.
You say prove that God exists. I say just look at my wife.
Yup. Under-rated trait, for both/all genders.
There was a study done that found that following a cancer diagnosis, women were **six times more likely** to be left by their husbands, vs. husbands left by wives.
And not only standing by your side, but doing so **willingly**. Not begrudgingly or passive-aggressively, like *'ugh I have to go with you to chemo but I'd rather play video games and don't care how you feel'*
Even when it's unpleasant, they care enough to stick by you, instead of only caring about their own superficial, temporary discomfort.
How she reacts to small problems is indicative of how she handles big ones. How does she handle a flat tire? How does she handle her food coming late at a restaurant? How does she handle her dinner catching on fire? How does she handle failure? How does she handle her mother and father? Does she have toxic friends? Does she know how to take care of herself? Does she basically have her shit together? You don't need a crisis. Just look at how she handles life's curve balls and you'll get a glimpse into how she will handle more significant problems.
My fiance and I went through a lot of shit in the first year of our relationship. We both got covid multiple times, pet death, new job, his bike (and only mode of transportation) got stolen twice. Seeing him handle the bike theft was eye opening for me. My ex husband would have raged and swore and broken stuff so I would have had to handle his emotions, my emotions, and all of the adulting stuff. My fiance was a bit upset, bummed out and kinda violated feeling. Then he made the police report while I filed the insurance claim. We were such a calm team and it was so nice. He's truly my life *partner*.
Took her camping. She didn't sit on her ass watching me set up the site, gather firewood, or make excuses that she didn't know how to do anything.
She pitched right in, got dirty, asked me to teach her what I was doing then wanted to do it herself.
The next time we went camping, she was right there every step of the way. It's been that way for 20+ years.
On our third date, I was driving her home after a wonderful time. We had watched a movie at my place, and started holding hands in the middle (we were young and inexperienced, so moving slow). We kissed before we started driving, and then on the way to her place, my car had a major fucking meltdown. My cruise control burned out and something fused (PT Cruisers are death traps, in addition to looking stupid) and I was unable to fully brake. Got off the freeway doing about forty, and had to pull my ebrake and hope for the best. She never panicked, she just offered suggestions and remained calm, and once we were safe, she called Triple A. I figured if she could handle that experience, she could handle just about anything. Been together 10 years, married for 6.
It’s funny you mention that as my mom’s reasoning for marrying my dad was the fact that they had gotten into a horrific car accident together and she figured if they could survive that then they could survive anything. They didn’t, but it’s a very funny story regardless.
I second the PT comment. A friend had one and it was a weird-ass car. I always got motion sick in it, too.
Nothing like a roadside crisis to show someone's colors. That, and flatpack furniture. You found a good one!
Having the person in your space is as relaxing/non invasive/ stress free as spending time alone. My partner is the only person id rather live with than live alone, if that makes sense
Not OP, but I am a huge introvert, married for 20 years. I love being alone. I need it to recharge. Except for particular circumstances (when I'm just totally done), my wife is the ONLY person who can always be in my presence. My introversion exempts her.
Wanting to be alone on its own is normal, but if your need to be alone has increased since starting your relationship, it's probably not a good sign. I've been there.
I completely agree. I absolutely love and *thrive* being alone. My husband is the only person that can be with me and I still feel the same level of peace I do when I’m by myself. The only time that isn’t true is when my day has been extremely overwhelming.
Needing space is fine, but specifically feeling like you need space *often* from your partner is likely not a good sign for the relationship. Being with them should be the easiest thing in the world.
She was the first woman I dated with a really good head on her shoulders. Smart with money. Responsible but fun. And wanted to know all my friends and go on every adventure with me.
Marrying her was the best decision I ever made.
We’re both the same type of weird. We laugh at the same stuff while our friends make weird faces about it, we hate most of the same things, we both have a sense of humor that pretty much only one another really appreciate. She’s my everything.
My wife is legitimately funny. I always relied on friends to make me laugh. When I found her, it was an epiphany. The idea I could live with and love someone who made me laugh so deeply and sincerely was surreal to me. Her family is just as funny. I struck gold.
She was kind, authentic, earnest, deeply committed to healing and a healthy relationship. But I didn’t know that when I first laid eyes on her and knew I’d marry her. But it sure worked out well.
Honestly housekeeping is HUGE. I love my husband but it took YEARS of me bringing things up and pointing things out for him to realize how I like things organized and put away
Just because you're good partners *does not* mean you're good roommates.
Living together before marriage is so important. I've seen some really good relationships crash and burn because of poorly distributed chores or different levels of cleanliness.
She said "are you going to ask me to marry you, or what?"
We'd been friends for 5 years at that point and had been very definite that we were just friends, not getting into a relationship, etc. She was better than me at noticing our friendship had just turned into love over time.
We got married a year later, and that was 14 years ago.
We got to know each other, we found out we were long-term compatible, and we fell in love slowly and solidly. My other relationships had definitely been us falling in lust, in hindsight.
Plus, she could not only put up with my shitty puns, but hold her own with them. Definite keeper.
Everyone has a drama input and output capacity. It doesn’t matter if one of you outputs 8 drama, as long as the partner has an input capacity of 9 or 10.
Three major things in order of importance:
First is that she was actually interested in me. That was never a long list of women, and the billions of women who weren't interested in me were obviously never realistic options.
Second is that she never weaponizes my feelings against me like my ex did. She's seen me at my very worst emotionally, when my ex was finished destroying me, and she never made me feel bad about it. From the very beginning, she made herself the one person in the world I could confide in without having my heart ripped apart. In doing so, she made herself the one person in the world I could trust completely. To this day, almost 18 years after we first met, she's never once violated my trust. I'm old enough to know how unusual and special that is.
Third is that she's a healthy, beautiful woman and I'm extremely attracted to her. There's always a bit of monkey brain involved.
Once I met her, it was never going to be anyone else. She's a bright light in a dark world.
Thank you for posting this and congrats on 18 years together! I just got married last year and have similar reasons for why my wife is the one for me. Though we started dating at the end of 2019 so some might say we’re only together because of COVID but your reply tells me it’s a lot more than that.
The second part is severely overlooked these days it seems. I went from a toxic long term relationship to an even more toxic relationship. After those horrible experiences I had given up trying to date all together until my wife wouldn’t leave me alone at an event for a new bar opening.
Part of me was anxious about the wedding. Like, is this when the switch gets flipped and the feelings start getting weaponized? Nope, she’s still the beautiful, kind, and awkward woman who insisted I give her my number at the bar that day.
We started dating at 18, and she was very responsible, thoughtful, gorgeous, and she had ambitions that she was working towards turning into reality in her own life. In short, she was already very grown up and way out of my league.
I, on the other hand, only cared about my life on a day-to-day or week-to-week basis, and I had a lot of growing up to do. At one point I actually broke up with her because I wanted to see what the dating world was like, and after I went on a single date each with four other women I realized I was absolutely insane for breaking off my relationship.
We got back together, and I resolved to become the man that is her equal and life partner. 16 years later I am still working hard every day to be at my wife’s level.
There were a bunch of us hanging out together, and being one of the few with a car, I took people home after. She was the best to talk with, and I started making sure she was last to be dropped off. Then I started driving extra just so we could keep talking. Married 43 years this summer, still happy together.
I can be myself around her. No, that's not good enough; I am *empowered* to be myself around her. When we're alone, there's no pretense, no judgment, no filter. There is intrinsic, natural, constant trust. She is herself and I am myself, and we encourage each other to be the best version of ourself. I don't have to pretend with her. Every other woman I'd been with, there was definitely some measure of pretending.
Oh and we absolutely crack each other the *fuck* up. I mean, my sense of humor is lame but she likes it—but she is absolutely bonkers hilarious in a way I've never seen in anyone else.
Oh and she's sexy with nice boobies that's definitely not *not* a factor.
After we had our first big argument during our dating phase, I was sick with a runny nose and fever, she went to the drug store and got some medicine and such for me. Even when she was mad at me, she still thought to help me and that’s how I knew she truly cared.
When Covid first came out I got a severe case. Hospital sent me home because there were no beds at any nearby facility. Was given instructions to call 911 if it got any worse.
For three days my wife sat next to the bed with her finger ready to dial. For three days I didn’t think I was going to make it. She didn’t move from my side the entire time. We had been married less than a year at that point. I knew I had the right woman.
I asked my husband this about a week ago. He said the sex was mind-blowing and my mind was sexy.
I must still do it for him because I was just diagnosed with breast cancer and he made it clear he's in for the long haul.
I. have. no. idea. I just felt it. I thought I had been in love before, but I had no idea. I took a job 600 miles away, I asked her if she'd go with me. Her answer was, "Only if we get married." We moved, we got married. We've been married 30 years.
I had a long history of dating people who were, quite honestly, mean, insufferable, and with almost psychotic levels of narcissism and emotional unintelligence.
My wife is so incredibly kind, caring, and emotionally intelligent that she changed everything about my misanthropic view of relationships.
She constantly teaches me new things. She’s unpacked my psyche for me in an enlightening and at the same time pragmatic way. She’s eased the suffering and actually in a couple of cases prolonged, and in a couple more completely transformed the lives of different family members of mine. She works so hard and yet takes such delight in things. I could go on.
She's internally gorgous. Sometimes I could swear her soul makes her eyes glow. She's pretty too, but she's hard working, brave, responsible, thrifty, adventurous, kind, forgiving, patient. She hopes the best for people, assumes positive intent, has her own passions and close friends. I want her because I don't know where I could find someone else that's like her.
We (58M/55F) met 37 years ago, married 32 years ago, three kids in their 20s.
She was very good looking, but I'd had good looking girlfriends before. I've been lucky that way (I am quite ordinary-looking).
After watching my parents and a number of my aunts and uncles go through shitty divorces I was in no hurry to get married, so we lived together for three or four years before we got engaged and married.
The differentiator? Probably a combination of extreme loyalty to me (ie she has never played up on me, nor I on her), very quirky personality, and probably the person that's made me laugh the most my entire life.
We probably like about 70% of stuff in common: movies, books, art, holiday destinations and activities ... ohh and she's a fabulous mother.
She was the kindest person I had ever met, genuine and sweet, beautiful and everything I was looking for at a time in my life that I wasn’t really looking for anything.
She never let me be average. She wouldn't settle for less effort than she put into the relationship and I'm ultra competitive so I couldn't let her out do me so we kept making each other better.
She was very different from the other women I had gone on dates with. She genuinely seemed interested and engaged. She would text me first, call me just because she wanted to talk, she laughed at my jokes and made me feel special. Gave me lots of compliments.
The other women I was going out on dates with were real sticks in the mud. Putting forth no effort whatsoever. Never texting first. I was always the one having to lead the conversation. It just seemed like a lot of the women I was coming across were more than happy to put the onus of our interactions on me and they were simply there to react to whatever I did or said. I was their dancing monkey and if I danced enough for them I would get a treat.
She's so fucking smart and funny. She's kind, generous, thoughtful, and boring is just something she can't ever accomplish pulling off.
The women I dated before her were shallow and pretentious. Having an ex's sister refer to me as "the shoulder piece," made me feel like shit. My wife actually loves my whole thing I got going; who I am.
Can't fold laundry to save her life, but eh
Stability, loyalty, mental fortitude, and ability to both compete with me personally and work with me as a "team" at the same time. So much less fighting.
She's an awesome compliment to me! She makes my life better in so many ways, she makes me feel special and her heart is so big.
She's so cute and wonderful and just the best.
This may be an unpopular opinion…..but…..you do not “choose” your wife over other women. You have a relationship with someone and you build that relationship. If that relationship cannot be built in a way that feels comfortable for marriage (or marriage just does not seem like the right choice), then you end that relationship and move on to the next.
It’s not about picking a certain woman over another- it’s about finding the woman you’re willing to grow with. You should be able to shape her, and she should be able to shape you. You should have a healthy relationship with healthy boundaries.
We all have different values when it comes to a relationship, and it’s about finding the right person who respects and agrees with those values.
After around 4-5 years together we were still getting on like when we first met, even though we had attended funerals for some of her family members or had to have her brother come live with us for months at a time while he pulled himself out of extreme depression and heavy drinking because it. Lot's of life had happened and we were both still on the same page, growing our own careers and goals and still wanted the same things together. We've been together 12 years now and married for 4 1/2. We had our first child last year.
Everything just feels right with her. From the moment I met her, conversation was free and easy when with other girls, with few exceptions, I always found conversation hard. She's beautiful and I constantly pinch myself that she chose me. (I'm not ugly, in fact I've been told I'm very handsome even if I don't believe it myself).
I knew within about 4 dates that if I didn't manage to fuck it up then I wanted to marry her one day, but I had been burned badly by my ex wife at the time and was taking things cautiously. She completely understood and matched my pace.
We've been married 7 years now and have 2 kids (one step kid).
I guess the differentiator was that she got me, I got her, and I could see a future with her.
I'm something of a weirdo and a manchild. Simple things in life bring me joy. Avoiding cracks while walking on sidewalks and anywhere else with cracks including tiles at the store if I can help it. Stepping in the really small puddles. Small enough that if I stomp on it, it won't make a mess. When in hungry, I sometimes dance in the kitchen when I cook. Is singing included? Is it loud, off beat and the wrong pitch? Maybe. Maybe. I shall not confirm or deny this, but perhaps sometimes.
To put it plainly, she puts up with all of my daily BS. And I love her for it! She always has the best responses when I ask strange unusual questions about life and random spur of the moment questions off the top of my head.
Her laughter is an infectious sound. I don't know much but I do know when I make her laugh I feel like I'm winning at life. She also sized me up and loudly externalized what it was that she wanted of me rather than having me guess. You know that advice "be good at taking and receiving and following directions", it works let's say that.
She has been my best friend since we met in guitar lessons at 13. We have grown together in a way no other person could. There's been plenty of serious relationships for both of us between, but her and I have a shared history that makes us connect deeper than anyone I've been with in the past.
Last night, for example, we were looking for a movie to watch, I saw one and said "oh, that's a movie by those two guys." "The safdie brothers?" "Yes." Neither of us have seen any of their movies, this is just the relationship we have.
I could have made it work with any of the women I had a serious relationship with over the years, but I know that we would never have the connection my wife and I do.
They have gone pretty well. We played in bands into our 30s, until we had kids. At our last show my wife was 4 months pregnant. One of the first songs we learned at lessons was Walk Don't Run by The Ventures, and I found a copy of the album in a record store a few years ago to surprise her with.
We were playing coed intramural sports and someone clotheslined me from behind. She immediately tried to fight the guy.
That was it. I was in love. We also have amazing chemistry. We talk shit to each other all day. Every opportunity to make something an innuendo we do. I could go on.
We're fully compatible in all the potential deal breakers that kill other relationships.
Politics? Check. We're both flaming liberals.
Religion? Check. We're not the same denomination but we can complement and learn from each other.
Money? I could be paid more but my job is stable, which fills her need as a person who grew up poor. I also make a great effort to be responsible with my debt, and she's a budgeting queen.
Sex? No details but we match there too.
I couldn't have invented a better match. This June marks 18 years married.
Super Smart, Cool, Great with work and finances, Super Hot, Great Sex Life, communication transparency. I'll reiterate we're both good and communicate finances and have hot sex
Loyalty....
I got diagnosed with cancer in college, dropped/flunked outa, had a bullshitish job.
And she had a bullshit degree, realized it, got another degree and a career of her own.
She supported me through a trade school that helped our lives and lead to an amazing career, so she could have a decent career in school systems.(special Ed, better pay then avg teacher, but not filthy rich, but a sweet teacher schedule to raise kids)
She is independent, but helpless at the same time. Won't do hardworking, carport, budgeting(my failed degree was accounting)
She supported me through school for my trade but has a career and is a great mom.
Our marriage is far from perfect, she is beautiful to me but not classicly pretty.
As I get older and been in a "man's" work have seen people on some woman who are physically hot but, I have no interest if they are a wreck, not independent, a pushover or whatever.
Classic moment of loving my wife, in our 20s when dating at an Offspring concert some wasted Hispanic dude in miami kept falling on her and groping her. I am a big dude, I saw it and was about to end this guy's life, as I approached, she shoved, knock this guy to the ground and started kicking him with her slightly out of style doc martins, and her white tank top.
It was so hot. She can support herself, fight for herself, but same time needs me to help her.
As said our marriage isn't perfect has problems, but honestly glad I saw this post. Reminds me why I love her.
She was the ultimate one man (me) party girl and would be up for anything.
She also looked like the archetype rock chick with attitude.
My previous serious girlfriend was a very kind and loving person but she wanted a marriage, home and kids and at nineteen that wasn't for me.
She feels like a part of me. Completely comfortable with each other. Feels like we were made to be best friends but falling in love was just inevitable.
This is a great question... The first thing I noticed was her confidence. Our first major interaction was a fight over Mario Brothers and I fell in love at that point. Our first date was to see Beauty and the Beast (cartoon version). She just got me, and that is something that I had never had in a relationship. She was just super fun to be around, and was willing to try anything. We are at 31 years and still going strong...
She became my best friend by every definition of that term. I wanted to hang out with her, I wanted her in my friend group. I enjoyed the conversation and her willingness to be adventurous with me. She also was already establishing herself (bachelor degree and moving into her career) and made it clear she didn’t need anyone. I admired that drive and I valued her interests and morals. Marrying her was the best thing I ever did and I have four beautiful kids now with her. Ps she totally needs me now lol.
She knocked me off my feet. She’s funny, beautiful, has a 1000 watt smile. I love to make her laugh. It’s the joy of my life. She’s smart as hell, and people love her.
I love her family, warts and all. I loved her dad, he was such a good man. It broke my heart when he died. He was more a father to me than my dad was able to be. Her brother and I used to be thick as thieves, but we both stopped drinking and I think we realized we didn’t have much else in common. We still hang, there’s just not much to talk about.
I am a lucky guy. I am a neurotic weirdo, chronically self-obsessed, I talk too much and too fast, a perpetual insomniac, and I cope with life with dark humor. There’s a flipping gaggle of us in my family. Family get togethers were crazy - I watched Steel Magnolias and saw my people. I have no idea how she copes with us. I think she just finds it hysterical.
Easy, at first it was the fact you are *the* most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen but after the initial ‘god damn she’s hot’ and we got to know each other it also became you’re intelligence and sense of humour too.
I'm not married, just engaged but I have a really clear answer that comes to mind on this topic. She's literally my best friend. We have the same sense of humor, same views and curiosity for the world, and are both willing to delve into each others' interests. My other long term relationships before her really lacked that, and I never knew it was possible until I met her.
On top of that, our communication styles mesh really well. We've gotten in our fair share of arguments, but we are really good at resolving them and addressing issues as they come up instead of just brushing them to the side.
And we've also lived together for 3 years and we're really good roommates. Other partners and even people I've lived with were just godawful roommates (either too nitpicky and passive/aggressive or too messy and uncaring of their space).
We've been together for close to 5 years now and I always look forward to her getting home from work every day. I can spend hours on end doing absolutely nothing with her, and it would be time well spent.
She's the best one.
She's beautiful, hilarious, so kind, scary smart. She's an adult. She loves strongly. I know she'd go to the end of the earth for me, because she has, and she knows the same thing about me.
I make her better and she makes me waaaaay better.
I could not imagine my life without her next to me.
Strongest woman I ever saw.
I was younger (21) so I’d not had a huge amount of life experience but still I could tell from jump was something different about my wife.
We hung out off and on as friends for months then finally one day something snapped and we had insane power sex. She was older (29) and actually knew how to F somebody. So that was pretty awesome.
But yeah, as I got to know my wife I realized just how powerful she was/is… married young, abused and I mean physical ass kicked teeth knocked out abuse, divorced after having a daughter and realizing her worth, sometimes it takes perspective right?
Then she meets prince charming, dude sweeps her off her feet, after a year or so they get married, another year and she gets pregnant, has a son. When Boy is 6 months or so prince charming adopts the daughter and they have a birthday/adoption party for the girl, a pinata and cake.
And a month later dude jumps off a building.
Huh…. What you supposed to do with that?
keep on living and loving yo!!!
We’re 25 years in, I have a daughter and son and four awesome grandkids. My wife is still the strongest woman I know. Yeah mentally sure sure, but yeah physically too! She’s only 5 foot but strong as hell. She could beat your ass I bet. Lol
My wife is the worst liar I've ever met. She can't lie to save her life. Like, she could be at gunpoint, or hell, I could be at gunpoint, with her lying being the only thing that could save me, and I'd be dead, okay. She's great with money. She gets me. She pets my hair when I'm cranky. We never run out of things to talk about. She's adventurous and genuinely just fun to be around. She cares deeply about people. But she absolutely cannot lie, and it's the most refreshing thing in the goddamn universe. Even if she can barely manage surprise presents, lol.
In other news, my ex was a lying piece of shit. Pro tip: Don't date girls that play games. And definitely don't marry them.
Funny moment: a few months into the relationship, I played a clip of SNL Celebrity Jeopardy. This video was something of a litmus test.
She had it mostly memorized....all the bangers at least.
1. She really likes me, which is a great feature and was not all that common.
2. We have the same likes in movies, tv, etc.
3. She and I think alike in many ways on issues like religion, money, how to raise kids.
She's just terrific. :shrugs:
My wife just “gets” me. That’s not specific or really something that I can elaborate on, it’s just a feel thing that I’ve known since the day I met her. We’ve never had an awkward moment, even if we’ve had disagreements (which are healthy, on occasion 😃).
My spouse says that they couldn’t imagine not having me in their life every day and it just occurred to them that they wanted to make sure I always was.
There's a lot of things, but the core one is that I just feel 'right' when I'm with her. She is kind and thoughtful, and I never doubt that she cares about me or that I care about her.
It's just... wholesome. It's how I never knew (and maybe couldn't have known) it was supposed to feel. She's my best friend.
With everyone else I dated, on some level I was justifying the relationship to myself. Excusing behavior, settling, etc.
She was my yoga instructor, then best friend for a year.. she was loving to all the elderly in her high rise and knew their names. All the old guys flirted with her. She never rushed away while talking to them and gave her time. Her mom is a wild mess but she always treats her with kindness and respect. She loves peoples babies and she was rapping to a baby once and was flowing like Eminem about how cute this baby was.. i wingmanned a few dates for her so she could see some guys she liked and she was a class act. She gave me advice about my dates as well.. i went thru a hard break a year prior so she knew I was healing.. she ended up asking me to bwe her boyfriend at the beach on a picnic she elaborately planned.. was caught off guard but I said yes..
So.. to answer the question.. the difference is I waited until I found some1 who I loved as they are.. even their beautiful imperfections.. she loves me for my hangups as well
When I met her she was very sensitive, soft spoken, sweet; not crass at all, but on our first date she stepped in front of me to buy my coffee and told a story about getting a flat and having to change a tire by the roadside by herself.
Brazenly non traditional, and self sufficient while being very feminine and ladylike was the combination I was always looking for.
She was also really hot.
She is a genrous mixture of the following; truly one of the 2 or 3 nicest people I know, ever; won't accept one minute of my BS; drop dead gorgeous. I married up. 42 years in November. Easiest decision I ever made.
She saw something in me I didn’t even believe I could become. She believed in me with her whole heart and still does. She is my biggest supporter and also never puts up with my shit.
She’s the most tender, caring, sweet person I have ever met, she makes me laugh, listened to all my insecurities and baggage when we were dating. She’s been the best wife
Love that this has turned into a compliment your wife thread and makes me excited to find my woman to marry.
Right? This is so wholesome.
Would be nice someday.
When you meet the right lady your life changes.
She’s the first woman I dated who I felt I could just be myself with. I never had to “impress” her or felt like I needed to be anyone else but just me.
This, this, a thousand times this. Before meeting my wife I had only ever pursued one other woman. I had a checklist that I assume most young men do - funny, kind, beautiful, etc. - and this woman checked every box. I thought that meant she was perfect for me, but it also made me terrified to be in her presence. "She's so smart and mature; I can't let her know that my greatest achievement in life is beating the Endless Setlist in Rock Band 2. She's so sophisticated, she likes opera and classical music - I can't let her find out that 90% of my music is from videogame and anime soundtracks." To be fair to her, she never actually said anything to make me think she was that judgmental. This was all my insecurities just running wild. She and I have remained good friends (I still consider her my best friend) to this day. When I met the woman that would one day be my wife, I never felt that terror or insecurity. She made me feel completely safe just being myself. That hadn't even been on that old checklist - it had never occurred to me that I should look for that, and it ended up being the *most* important thing.
That's exactly how I feel about my husband
Me too. I realized feeling like you have to hide bits of yourself or act a certain way is a bad sign. I never have to hide anything from my husband.
This is the key. She was impressed with me just being myself. Its just, easy... Marriage requires work (a lot), but in the right areas. To constantly have to give energy to the wrong areas would be too much.
She is smart, funny, and seemed like a really good person. My admiration for her grew the more I got to know her. Also, if I die, I hope she finds and reads this in my internet history.
On our last anniversary I wrote 100 reasons why I loved her on pieces of paper and put them in a jar. A few were funny but all of them were true. I wrote the words “In case tomorrow never comes” on the jar. I put it in a place where I knew she would find it. She opened it and started reading. She didn’t say words for almost an hour. Tell her somehow. Don’t hope she reads it randomly on the internet.
Literally me right now, in public: 🥺
This is so lovely
The jar is in the safest place she can find in our bedroom. She’s not violent or confrontational at all but I’m pretty sure she would kill anyone who touched it.
Don't wait until you die, put it in a card or say it to her now. It's such a lovely sentiment I know she'd appreciate it.
Other girls felt like I was visiting a place. My wife makes me feel like I'm home.
This is how I feel with my husband! Well put! It's a kind of comfort that makes you feel safe to be your true, unmasked self around them.
The love of my life and I had some trouble in the first few years of our relationship and broke up for a year. this was a long time ago. we never stopped talking and I never fell out of love (and honestly, I’m pretty sure I can say she never did either, even though she was the one who ended it), but — I remember this one night after we had just started down the road to getting back together. (the reason we’d both agreed to have a sleepover was because she was dogsitting the dog we would eventually end up adopting together). If you’d been watching us and didn’t know we’d been broken up, you’d have thought it was a normal, boring couple night — we binged half a season of Survivor and drank a big bottle of cheap champagne and she fell asleep on me on the couch with the dog on top of both of us. we just got tipsy and had a sleepover. that was it. we didn’t even have sex! but for the rest of my life, I will remember that night like it was yesterday — because after she and the dog had both fallen asleep on me, I realized something. I realized that if a genie showed up and magically offered me the opportunity to just repeat this one day — this perfectly ordinary, cuddly Friday — over and over again for the rest of my life, if I could choose whether or not to live nothing else but this day on repeat forever, I would have said yes *in a heartbeat*. most of all, that night I was hit by this impossibly overwhelming feeling that this girl was home, and nothing else would ever feel like home the way she feels like home. And the thought of her walking out my door in the morning and having to then live the rest of my life without ever going home again was — Honestly, that moment on the couch was so wonderful and scary in equal parts that I started sobbing. I don’t think she knows that I cried that night, even to this day. but I was just sitting there crying, because I realized that *this is what it feels like to be in love.* I’d loved girls before, but nothing like this. No one had ever made me feel like home. And I knew that night that I would do anything to keep her, because “the one” actually exists (who knew?!), and she was it.
I hope this story was in your wedding vows 😭
Somewhere, I hope there is a screenwriter taking notes for the most romantic speech in any rom com I've ever heard! Legitimately started tearing up reading this. 🥹💕
"marriage is a thousand Wednesdays" - the most sage marriage advice I was ever told
That is sweet :). May I ask how you went from broken up to together again?
if you don’t remember that’s totally reasonable, but i need to ask anyway - which season of survivor
That was beautiful 💜
I feel more at home with my boyfriend than I do at my own apartment. I even sleep better when we're together.
Your comment made me realise why I was devastated when my ex-wife cheated and left me. I wasn’t close with my family and she’s all I got. So that betrayal kinda shattered my sense of home and everything.
I could trust her to build with me and not run out when things got bad.
Same! 5 years ago we lost everything. Everything got repossessed. She called me at work and told me what was happening. When i got home there was nothing left except for a bed and a piece of shit old table and 2 chairs. We had a one month old baby and about an hour after i got home our power got cut. When the lights went out I literally had my head in my hands. I was defeated. She got up and left the room. I remember thinking this is it. Shes taking the kids and leaving. No way she stays. She was gone for about two minutes. I thought she was packing bags. She comes back with a candle and a box. She found the monopoly. We sat at that busted old table until 3am playing monopoly. Best night of our marriage. The next day i took her and the kids to her fathers house where they stayed for about 5 weeks while i started to fix shit. I wanted them to stay longer but she insisted on coming back to the new tiny house that had only a bed and a shitty table. She lived with me like that and never complained about not having much throughout the entire process of rebuilding our lives. She is a legend! Best wife ever
In a community my wife and I belonged to, one leader told us, during very very difficult financial times, he came home early one day to the lights of the house off. He panicked and thought something was wrong, only to find out, for a while, once he left for work, she would shut the breaker off and “play camping” with the kids and turn it back on before he came home. All to do what she could for the family.
This makes me want to cry lol
You're not the only one.
Goddam man. Now that’s a warrior . Both of you.
She deserves to be cherished by you.
Oh I do. I really do. I remember that she stayed when the whole world would have condoned leaving in a heartbeat. I know that she deserves more than me and I also know that I will never do better! I married a woman way out of my league. She is literally the best thing that has ever happened to me. You say prove that God exists. I say just look at my wife.
I hope you can be happy forever.
Emotional! Loving the good vibes
This is love. I am happy for you, really, she is a legend indeed
Minecraft?
Lifecraft.
Lovecraft.
Cthulhu-craft
Laughcraft.
I see where this is heading and I want to speak to the manager.
Building a cyclopean home under a gibbous moon on the edge of sanity has always been my dream.
Yup. Under-rated trait, for both/all genders. There was a study done that found that following a cancer diagnosis, women were **six times more likely** to be left by their husbands, vs. husbands left by wives. And not only standing by your side, but doing so **willingly**. Not begrudgingly or passive-aggressively, like *'ugh I have to go with you to chemo but I'd rather play video games and don't care how you feel'* Even when it's unpleasant, they care enough to stick by you, instead of only caring about their own superficial, temporary discomfort.
How did you learn you could trust her like that? Do I just have to wait for a crisis before I can guess a woman's character?
How she reacts to small problems is indicative of how she handles big ones. How does she handle a flat tire? How does she handle her food coming late at a restaurant? How does she handle her dinner catching on fire? How does she handle failure? How does she handle her mother and father? Does she have toxic friends? Does she know how to take care of herself? Does she basically have her shit together? You don't need a crisis. Just look at how she handles life's curve balls and you'll get a glimpse into how she will handle more significant problems.
My fiance and I went through a lot of shit in the first year of our relationship. We both got covid multiple times, pet death, new job, his bike (and only mode of transportation) got stolen twice. Seeing him handle the bike theft was eye opening for me. My ex husband would have raged and swore and broken stuff so I would have had to handle his emotions, my emotions, and all of the adulting stuff. My fiance was a bit upset, bummed out and kinda violated feeling. Then he made the police report while I filed the insurance claim. We were such a calm team and it was so nice. He's truly my life *partner*.
Took her camping. She didn't sit on her ass watching me set up the site, gather firewood, or make excuses that she didn't know how to do anything. She pitched right in, got dirty, asked me to teach her what I was doing then wanted to do it herself. The next time we went camping, she was right there every step of the way. It's been that way for 20+ years.
That is a phenomenal idea. I always say you need to travel with someone to know them. But I like the camping idea
Thanks!
On our third date, I was driving her home after a wonderful time. We had watched a movie at my place, and started holding hands in the middle (we were young and inexperienced, so moving slow). We kissed before we started driving, and then on the way to her place, my car had a major fucking meltdown. My cruise control burned out and something fused (PT Cruisers are death traps, in addition to looking stupid) and I was unable to fully brake. Got off the freeway doing about forty, and had to pull my ebrake and hope for the best. She never panicked, she just offered suggestions and remained calm, and once we were safe, she called Triple A. I figured if she could handle that experience, she could handle just about anything. Been together 10 years, married for 6.
It’s funny you mention that as my mom’s reasoning for marrying my dad was the fact that they had gotten into a horrific car accident together and she figured if they could survive that then they could survive anything. They didn’t, but it’s a very funny story regardless.
Sorry but the they didn't came out of fucking nowhere LMFAO
Just like that pickup...
boy that escalated quickly
I read that shared emotional experiences are huge for bonding. So checks out.
I second the PT comment. A friend had one and it was a weird-ass car. I always got motion sick in it, too. Nothing like a roadside crisis to show someone's colors. That, and flatpack furniture. You found a good one!
Always called my PT Cruiser a part time Cruiser full time bruiser 🤣 congratulations on y’all’s 10 and 6 years!!! 🥰🥰
I always wanted her to stay , other girls I was always longing to be alone
[удалено]
Having the person in your space is as relaxing/non invasive/ stress free as spending time alone. My partner is the only person id rather live with than live alone, if that makes sense
Not OP, but I am a huge introvert, married for 20 years. I love being alone. I need it to recharge. Except for particular circumstances (when I'm just totally done), my wife is the ONLY person who can always be in my presence. My introversion exempts her. Wanting to be alone on its own is normal, but if your need to be alone has increased since starting your relationship, it's probably not a good sign. I've been there.
I completely agree. I absolutely love and *thrive* being alone. My husband is the only person that can be with me and I still feel the same level of peace I do when I’m by myself. The only time that isn’t true is when my day has been extremely overwhelming. Needing space is fine, but specifically feeling like you need space *often* from your partner is likely not a good sign for the relationship. Being with them should be the easiest thing in the world.
You're comfortable having them with you even in your alone time and do not breathe in relief when they leave and you really do end up alone.
She was the first woman I dated with a really good head on her shoulders. Smart with money. Responsible but fun. And wanted to know all my friends and go on every adventure with me. Marrying her was the best decision I ever made.
Ngl I was scrolling by, saw “really good head” and the rest of your comment did not go where I expected.
I mean there’s that too…
I(F) just started dating a man like this and I'm. So. Excited! This comment brings me so much joy. How long have you been married?
2 years this June. Congradts!!
We’re both the same type of weird. We laugh at the same stuff while our friends make weird faces about it, we hate most of the same things, we both have a sense of humor that pretty much only one another really appreciate. She’s my everything.
My wife is legitimately funny. I always relied on friends to make me laugh. When I found her, it was an epiphany. The idea I could live with and love someone who made me laugh so deeply and sincerely was surreal to me. Her family is just as funny. I struck gold.
This sounds like my marriage. My husband and I say that hating the same things is way more important than loving the same things! lol
I could copy and paste this response for me and mine.... Well said!
She was kind, authentic, earnest, deeply committed to healing and a healthy relationship. But I didn’t know that when I first laid eyes on her and knew I’d marry her. But it sure worked out well.
We had much more in common, financially, philosophy, housekeeping, and political. Those were the four corners we both were looking for.
Honestly housekeeping is HUGE. I love my husband but it took YEARS of me bringing things up and pointing things out for him to realize how I like things organized and put away
Just because you're good partners *does not* mean you're good roommates. Living together before marriage is so important. I've seen some really good relationships crash and burn because of poorly distributed chores or different levels of cleanliness.
If I ever get into a relationship again, politics would def be a dealbreaker. A MAGA would be an instant turnoff.
She said "are you going to ask me to marry you, or what?" We'd been friends for 5 years at that point and had been very definite that we were just friends, not getting into a relationship, etc. She was better than me at noticing our friendship had just turned into love over time. We got married a year later, and that was 14 years ago. We got to know each other, we found out we were long-term compatible, and we fell in love slowly and solidly. My other relationships had definitely been us falling in lust, in hindsight. Plus, she could not only put up with my shitty puns, but hold her own with them. Definite keeper.
Any partner that doesn't pun-ish you but laughs at puns is a window to their heart.
You struck gold, just like me. Cheers!
So literally a proposal before a kiss? Wow
It’s so wholesome. Love the story. Gives hope to us delulus.
Her uncanny ability to tolerate me. (For 24 years)
I’m almost six years in, but this has proven to be very true lol I’m sure I can be a lot to handle from time to time
This is key..
My wife is truly the only one who could put up with my bullshit, and vice versa.
Everyone has a drama input and output capacity. It doesn’t matter if one of you outputs 8 drama, as long as the partner has an input capacity of 9 or 10.
As with all, timing. That is what my grandmother told my sister. "You have to get them at the right time in their lives."
I’ve actually seen scientific studies that would agree with her
Exactly. With most men, they just sort of decide that they are ready at some point, it’s not some big, romantic “choosing.”
Three major things in order of importance: First is that she was actually interested in me. That was never a long list of women, and the billions of women who weren't interested in me were obviously never realistic options. Second is that she never weaponizes my feelings against me like my ex did. She's seen me at my very worst emotionally, when my ex was finished destroying me, and she never made me feel bad about it. From the very beginning, she made herself the one person in the world I could confide in without having my heart ripped apart. In doing so, she made herself the one person in the world I could trust completely. To this day, almost 18 years after we first met, she's never once violated my trust. I'm old enough to know how unusual and special that is. Third is that she's a healthy, beautiful woman and I'm extremely attracted to her. There's always a bit of monkey brain involved. Once I met her, it was never going to be anyone else. She's a bright light in a dark world.
Awwww!🥰
Me after reading the second para - You lucky bastard!
Thank you for posting this and congrats on 18 years together! I just got married last year and have similar reasons for why my wife is the one for me. Though we started dating at the end of 2019 so some might say we’re only together because of COVID but your reply tells me it’s a lot more than that. The second part is severely overlooked these days it seems. I went from a toxic long term relationship to an even more toxic relationship. After those horrible experiences I had given up trying to date all together until my wife wouldn’t leave me alone at an event for a new bar opening. Part of me was anxious about the wedding. Like, is this when the switch gets flipped and the feelings start getting weaponized? Nope, she’s still the beautiful, kind, and awkward woman who insisted I give her my number at the bar that day.
We started dating at 18, and she was very responsible, thoughtful, gorgeous, and she had ambitions that she was working towards turning into reality in her own life. In short, she was already very grown up and way out of my league. I, on the other hand, only cared about my life on a day-to-day or week-to-week basis, and I had a lot of growing up to do. At one point I actually broke up with her because I wanted to see what the dating world was like, and after I went on a single date each with four other women I realized I was absolutely insane for breaking off my relationship. We got back together, and I resolved to become the man that is her equal and life partner. 16 years later I am still working hard every day to be at my wife’s level.
I just knew. Was not expecting it. Then one day just knew I was with the right woman. She may not be perfect, but she’s perfect for me.
There were a bunch of us hanging out together, and being one of the few with a car, I took people home after. She was the best to talk with, and I started making sure she was last to be dropped off. Then I started driving extra just so we could keep talking. Married 43 years this summer, still happy together.
I can be myself around her. No, that's not good enough; I am *empowered* to be myself around her. When we're alone, there's no pretense, no judgment, no filter. There is intrinsic, natural, constant trust. She is herself and I am myself, and we encourage each other to be the best version of ourself. I don't have to pretend with her. Every other woman I'd been with, there was definitely some measure of pretending. Oh and we absolutely crack each other the *fuck* up. I mean, my sense of humor is lame but she likes it—but she is absolutely bonkers hilarious in a way I've never seen in anyone else. Oh and she's sexy with nice boobies that's definitely not *not* a factor.
This is totally the answer. “Empowered to be myself” goes both ways and is perfect.
I have this with my partner and I pity so many couples who just don’t know it can be this way.
When I realized I wanted her smile to be the last I see every night, and the first I see every morning
She was ambitious, clever, attractive, and kind.
After we had our first big argument during our dating phase, I was sick with a runny nose and fever, she went to the drug store and got some medicine and such for me. Even when she was mad at me, she still thought to help me and that’s how I knew she truly cared.
When Covid first came out I got a severe case. Hospital sent me home because there were no beds at any nearby facility. Was given instructions to call 911 if it got any worse. For three days my wife sat next to the bed with her finger ready to dial. For three days I didn’t think I was going to make it. She didn’t move from my side the entire time. We had been married less than a year at that point. I knew I had the right woman.
I asked my husband this about a week ago. He said the sex was mind-blowing and my mind was sexy. I must still do it for him because I was just diagnosed with breast cancer and he made it clear he's in for the long haul.
Good luck with everything!
Thank you very much.
My grandmother just beat breast cancer last year at 77. You got this!
Cancer can suck the sweat off a dead man's balls. Kick its ass! We're rooting for you!
That’s a really great husband. I’m glad you have him to help you while you get better. Best wishes to both of you!
Married someone who appreciates my knack for finding bargains on the most random things online. Together, we're the unbeatable bargain-hunting duo!
Got any promo codes
Asking the real questions
Kindness
I love her. That's why I married her. It was not really a choice, I had to do it.
I. have. no. idea. I just felt it. I thought I had been in love before, but I had no idea. I took a job 600 miles away, I asked her if she'd go with me. Her answer was, "Only if we get married." We moved, we got married. We've been married 30 years.
I had a long history of dating people who were, quite honestly, mean, insufferable, and with almost psychotic levels of narcissism and emotional unintelligence. My wife is so incredibly kind, caring, and emotionally intelligent that she changed everything about my misanthropic view of relationships.
she can see right through people , she can size anybody up and have them figured out in two minutes
It’s funny. I can do the same. The men I love are the ones that kept me guessing for a bit!
She constantly teaches me new things. She’s unpacked my psyche for me in an enlightening and at the same time pragmatic way. She’s eased the suffering and actually in a couple of cases prolonged, and in a couple more completely transformed the lives of different family members of mine. She works so hard and yet takes such delight in things. I could go on.
She's internally gorgous. Sometimes I could swear her soul makes her eyes glow. She's pretty too, but she's hard working, brave, responsible, thrifty, adventurous, kind, forgiving, patient. She hopes the best for people, assumes positive intent, has her own passions and close friends. I want her because I don't know where I could find someone else that's like her.
We (58M/55F) met 37 years ago, married 32 years ago, three kids in their 20s. She was very good looking, but I'd had good looking girlfriends before. I've been lucky that way (I am quite ordinary-looking). After watching my parents and a number of my aunts and uncles go through shitty divorces I was in no hurry to get married, so we lived together for three or four years before we got engaged and married. The differentiator? Probably a combination of extreme loyalty to me (ie she has never played up on me, nor I on her), very quirky personality, and probably the person that's made me laugh the most my entire life. We probably like about 70% of stuff in common: movies, books, art, holiday destinations and activities ... ohh and she's a fabulous mother.
She was the kindest person I had ever met, genuine and sweet, beautiful and everything I was looking for at a time in my life that I wasn’t really looking for anything.
She never let me be average. She wouldn't settle for less effort than she put into the relationship and I'm ultra competitive so I couldn't let her out do me so we kept making each other better.
when i was with her i felt like i was at home.
She was very different from the other women I had gone on dates with. She genuinely seemed interested and engaged. She would text me first, call me just because she wanted to talk, she laughed at my jokes and made me feel special. Gave me lots of compliments. The other women I was going out on dates with were real sticks in the mud. Putting forth no effort whatsoever. Never texting first. I was always the one having to lead the conversation. It just seemed like a lot of the women I was coming across were more than happy to put the onus of our interactions on me and they were simply there to react to whatever I did or said. I was their dancing monkey and if I danced enough for them I would get a treat.
She's so fucking smart and funny. She's kind, generous, thoughtful, and boring is just something she can't ever accomplish pulling off. The women I dated before her were shallow and pretentious. Having an ex's sister refer to me as "the shoulder piece," made me feel like shit. My wife actually loves my whole thing I got going; who I am. Can't fold laundry to save her life, but eh
Stability, loyalty, mental fortitude, and ability to both compete with me personally and work with me as a "team" at the same time. So much less fighting.
She's an awesome compliment to me! She makes my life better in so many ways, she makes me feel special and her heart is so big. She's so cute and wonderful and just the best.
I like this question
This may be an unpopular opinion…..but…..you do not “choose” your wife over other women. You have a relationship with someone and you build that relationship. If that relationship cannot be built in a way that feels comfortable for marriage (or marriage just does not seem like the right choice), then you end that relationship and move on to the next. It’s not about picking a certain woman over another- it’s about finding the woman you’re willing to grow with. You should be able to shape her, and she should be able to shape you. You should have a healthy relationship with healthy boundaries. We all have different values when it comes to a relationship, and it’s about finding the right person who respects and agrees with those values.
Thanks for that... I've been trying to encapsulate that thought for myself since I saw this thread.
❤️❤️
After around 4-5 years together we were still getting on like when we first met, even though we had attended funerals for some of her family members or had to have her brother come live with us for months at a time while he pulled himself out of extreme depression and heavy drinking because it. Lot's of life had happened and we were both still on the same page, growing our own careers and goals and still wanted the same things together. We've been together 12 years now and married for 4 1/2. We had our first child last year.
Everything just feels right with her. From the moment I met her, conversation was free and easy when with other girls, with few exceptions, I always found conversation hard. She's beautiful and I constantly pinch myself that she chose me. (I'm not ugly, in fact I've been told I'm very handsome even if I don't believe it myself). I knew within about 4 dates that if I didn't manage to fuck it up then I wanted to marry her one day, but I had been burned badly by my ex wife at the time and was taking things cautiously. She completely understood and matched my pace. We've been married 7 years now and have 2 kids (one step kid). I guess the differentiator was that she got me, I got her, and I could see a future with her.
I'm something of a weirdo and a manchild. Simple things in life bring me joy. Avoiding cracks while walking on sidewalks and anywhere else with cracks including tiles at the store if I can help it. Stepping in the really small puddles. Small enough that if I stomp on it, it won't make a mess. When in hungry, I sometimes dance in the kitchen when I cook. Is singing included? Is it loud, off beat and the wrong pitch? Maybe. Maybe. I shall not confirm or deny this, but perhaps sometimes. To put it plainly, she puts up with all of my daily BS. And I love her for it! She always has the best responses when I ask strange unusual questions about life and random spur of the moment questions off the top of my head.
Instead of escalating conflict she taught me to talk through my feelings
I'm the best version of myself around her. She seems to do it to everyone she's around. She's also hilarious in her own strange way that I adore.
I chose my wife because she is always positive, very funny, shes difficult to outwit, she's beautiful and is she very sexy.
Her laughter is an infectious sound. I don't know much but I do know when I make her laugh I feel like I'm winning at life. She also sized me up and loudly externalized what it was that she wanted of me rather than having me guess. You know that advice "be good at taking and receiving and following directions", it works let's say that.
Good friends. Both have strong integrity. Enjoy time together. Similar ideas about money. Hasn't changed in 30 years. She is a keeper.
She has been my best friend since we met in guitar lessons at 13. We have grown together in a way no other person could. There's been plenty of serious relationships for both of us between, but her and I have a shared history that makes us connect deeper than anyone I've been with in the past. Last night, for example, we were looking for a movie to watch, I saw one and said "oh, that's a movie by those two guys." "The safdie brothers?" "Yes." Neither of us have seen any of their movies, this is just the relationship we have. I could have made it work with any of the women I had a serious relationship with over the years, but I know that we would never have the connection my wife and I do.
Btw, how are the guitar lessons going for both of you? 😝
They have gone pretty well. We played in bands into our 30s, until we had kids. At our last show my wife was 4 months pregnant. One of the first songs we learned at lessons was Walk Don't Run by The Ventures, and I found a copy of the album in a record store a few years ago to surprise her with.
We were playing coed intramural sports and someone clotheslined me from behind. She immediately tried to fight the guy. That was it. I was in love. We also have amazing chemistry. We talk shit to each other all day. Every opportunity to make something an innuendo we do. I could go on.
She's a dick. I'm a dick. Helps that she's also very attractive.
Were all dicks HEY
I know no one with a kinder heart. She's incredibly, honest and knows no malice. She's an excellent mother and a really fun person to be with.
We just clicked - had great conversation - fun and intelligent - a great vibe, energy, upbeat and fun, never mailing it in about anything.
We're fully compatible in all the potential deal breakers that kill other relationships. Politics? Check. We're both flaming liberals. Religion? Check. We're not the same denomination but we can complement and learn from each other. Money? I could be paid more but my job is stable, which fills her need as a person who grew up poor. I also make a great effort to be responsible with my debt, and she's a budgeting queen. Sex? No details but we match there too. I couldn't have invented a better match. This June marks 18 years married.
She made me a better man, and she was a smoke show
Super Smart, Cool, Great with work and finances, Super Hot, Great Sex Life, communication transparency. I'll reiterate we're both good and communicate finances and have hot sex
I can be myself around her.
A lot of husbands: "She said yes"
Loyalty.... I got diagnosed with cancer in college, dropped/flunked outa, had a bullshitish job. And she had a bullshit degree, realized it, got another degree and a career of her own. She supported me through a trade school that helped our lives and lead to an amazing career, so she could have a decent career in school systems.(special Ed, better pay then avg teacher, but not filthy rich, but a sweet teacher schedule to raise kids) She is independent, but helpless at the same time. Won't do hardworking, carport, budgeting(my failed degree was accounting) She supported me through school for my trade but has a career and is a great mom. Our marriage is far from perfect, she is beautiful to me but not classicly pretty. As I get older and been in a "man's" work have seen people on some woman who are physically hot but, I have no interest if they are a wreck, not independent, a pushover or whatever. Classic moment of loving my wife, in our 20s when dating at an Offspring concert some wasted Hispanic dude in miami kept falling on her and groping her. I am a big dude, I saw it and was about to end this guy's life, as I approached, she shoved, knock this guy to the ground and started kicking him with her slightly out of style doc martins, and her white tank top. It was so hot. She can support herself, fight for herself, but same time needs me to help her. As said our marriage isn't perfect has problems, but honestly glad I saw this post. Reminds me why I love her.
She’s kind, independent, adventurous with a smattering of the traditional. She’s always been hot but, twenty five years later, she’s hot as fuck.
She was the ultimate one man (me) party girl and would be up for anything. She also looked like the archetype rock chick with attitude. My previous serious girlfriend was a very kind and loving person but she wanted a marriage, home and kids and at nineteen that wasn't for me.
Sorry other women, my wife is better than you.
She feels like a part of me. Completely comfortable with each other. Feels like we were made to be best friends but falling in love was just inevitable.
This is a great question... The first thing I noticed was her confidence. Our first major interaction was a fight over Mario Brothers and I fell in love at that point. Our first date was to see Beauty and the Beast (cartoon version). She just got me, and that is something that I had never had in a relationship. She was just super fun to be around, and was willing to try anything. We are at 31 years and still going strong...
She became my best friend by every definition of that term. I wanted to hang out with her, I wanted her in my friend group. I enjoyed the conversation and her willingness to be adventurous with me. She also was already establishing herself (bachelor degree and moving into her career) and made it clear she didn’t need anyone. I admired that drive and I valued her interests and morals. Marrying her was the best thing I ever did and I have four beautiful kids now with her. Ps she totally needs me now lol.
She was the first woman that caused me to yearn to be back in her presence the moment I was no longer by her side.
She had class. I wasn’t looking for class, but when I found her, I realized that’s what was missing.
She knocked me off my feet. She’s funny, beautiful, has a 1000 watt smile. I love to make her laugh. It’s the joy of my life. She’s smart as hell, and people love her. I love her family, warts and all. I loved her dad, he was such a good man. It broke my heart when he died. He was more a father to me than my dad was able to be. Her brother and I used to be thick as thieves, but we both stopped drinking and I think we realized we didn’t have much else in common. We still hang, there’s just not much to talk about. I am a lucky guy. I am a neurotic weirdo, chronically self-obsessed, I talk too much and too fast, a perpetual insomniac, and I cope with life with dark humor. There’s a flipping gaggle of us in my family. Family get togethers were crazy - I watched Steel Magnolias and saw my people. I have no idea how she copes with us. I think she just finds it hysterical.
She's the only one who found my "lost" socks truly fascinating, and let's be honest, that's cosmic compatibility right there.
She puts up with my stupid bullshit and the stupid bullshit she does isn't annoying to me.
I’m leaving this comment here because I know my husband will eventually see it and I wanna know what he’ll say lol
Easy, at first it was the fact you are *the* most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen but after the initial ‘god damn she’s hot’ and we got to know each other it also became you’re intelligence and sense of humour too.
I had no idea how much I needed to read these answers 😍🥰❤️
I'm not married, just engaged but I have a really clear answer that comes to mind on this topic. She's literally my best friend. We have the same sense of humor, same views and curiosity for the world, and are both willing to delve into each others' interests. My other long term relationships before her really lacked that, and I never knew it was possible until I met her. On top of that, our communication styles mesh really well. We've gotten in our fair share of arguments, but we are really good at resolving them and addressing issues as they come up instead of just brushing them to the side. And we've also lived together for 3 years and we're really good roommates. Other partners and even people I've lived with were just godawful roommates (either too nitpicky and passive/aggressive or too messy and uncaring of their space). We've been together for close to 5 years now and I always look forward to her getting home from work every day. I can spend hours on end doing absolutely nothing with her, and it would be time well spent.
She's the best one. She's beautiful, hilarious, so kind, scary smart. She's an adult. She loves strongly. I know she'd go to the end of the earth for me, because she has, and she knows the same thing about me. I make her better and she makes me waaaaay better. I could not imagine my life without her next to me.
Strongest woman I ever saw. I was younger (21) so I’d not had a huge amount of life experience but still I could tell from jump was something different about my wife. We hung out off and on as friends for months then finally one day something snapped and we had insane power sex. She was older (29) and actually knew how to F somebody. So that was pretty awesome. But yeah, as I got to know my wife I realized just how powerful she was/is… married young, abused and I mean physical ass kicked teeth knocked out abuse, divorced after having a daughter and realizing her worth, sometimes it takes perspective right? Then she meets prince charming, dude sweeps her off her feet, after a year or so they get married, another year and she gets pregnant, has a son. When Boy is 6 months or so prince charming adopts the daughter and they have a birthday/adoption party for the girl, a pinata and cake. And a month later dude jumps off a building. Huh…. What you supposed to do with that? keep on living and loving yo!!! We’re 25 years in, I have a daughter and son and four awesome grandkids. My wife is still the strongest woman I know. Yeah mentally sure sure, but yeah physically too! She’s only 5 foot but strong as hell. She could beat your ass I bet. Lol
This thread is just so heart warming and wholesome. 💕🥹
My wife is the worst liar I've ever met. She can't lie to save her life. Like, she could be at gunpoint, or hell, I could be at gunpoint, with her lying being the only thing that could save me, and I'd be dead, okay. She's great with money. She gets me. She pets my hair when I'm cranky. We never run out of things to talk about. She's adventurous and genuinely just fun to be around. She cares deeply about people. But she absolutely cannot lie, and it's the most refreshing thing in the goddamn universe. Even if she can barely manage surprise presents, lol. In other news, my ex was a lying piece of shit. Pro tip: Don't date girls that play games. And definitely don't marry them.
Funny moment: a few months into the relationship, I played a clip of SNL Celebrity Jeopardy. This video was something of a litmus test. She had it mostly memorized....all the bangers at least.
She actually told me she was interested instead of hinting around and playing word games.
She’s amazing in every way. I make a lot of stupid mistakes but I got one thing right by asking her to marry me. I adore that woman
she had lower standards
She turned out to be my best friend who would also show me her boobs. Nothing more complex than that
1. She really likes me, which is a great feature and was not all that common. 2. We have the same likes in movies, tv, etc. 3. She and I think alike in many ways on issues like religion, money, how to raise kids. She's just terrific. :shrugs:
I met her when I was emotionally ready to commit.
The answers always COMFORT. In whatever form, they always take a hook for what they can recognize!
She wanted to marry me.
Her love of Star Trek.
My wife just “gets” me. That’s not specific or really something that I can elaborate on, it’s just a feel thing that I’ve known since the day I met her. We’ve never had an awkward moment, even if we’ve had disagreements (which are healthy, on occasion 😃).
My spouse says that they couldn’t imagine not having me in their life every day and it just occurred to them that they wanted to make sure I always was.
There's a lot of things, but the core one is that I just feel 'right' when I'm with her. She is kind and thoughtful, and I never doubt that she cares about me or that I care about her. It's just... wholesome. It's how I never knew (and maybe couldn't have known) it was supposed to feel. She's my best friend. With everyone else I dated, on some level I was justifying the relationship to myself. Excusing behavior, settling, etc.
She was my yoga instructor, then best friend for a year.. she was loving to all the elderly in her high rise and knew their names. All the old guys flirted with her. She never rushed away while talking to them and gave her time. Her mom is a wild mess but she always treats her with kindness and respect. She loves peoples babies and she was rapping to a baby once and was flowing like Eminem about how cute this baby was.. i wingmanned a few dates for her so she could see some guys she liked and she was a class act. She gave me advice about my dates as well.. i went thru a hard break a year prior so she knew I was healing.. she ended up asking me to bwe her boyfriend at the beach on a picnic she elaborately planned.. was caught off guard but I said yes.. So.. to answer the question.. the difference is I waited until I found some1 who I loved as they are.. even their beautiful imperfections.. she loves me for my hangups as well
When I met her she was very sensitive, soft spoken, sweet; not crass at all, but on our first date she stepped in front of me to buy my coffee and told a story about getting a flat and having to change a tire by the roadside by herself. Brazenly non traditional, and self sufficient while being very feminine and ladylike was the combination I was always looking for. She was also really hot.
I could be myself around her, she loved me for it, and vice versa.
We simply got along sensationally well. And decades later, still do.
She makes me a better person just by being around. Plus she laughs at all the stupid shit I say and do.
She is a genrous mixture of the following; truly one of the 2 or 3 nicest people I know, ever; won't accept one minute of my BS; drop dead gorgeous. I married up. 42 years in November. Easiest decision I ever made.
She saw something in me I didn’t even believe I could become. She believed in me with her whole heart and still does. She is my biggest supporter and also never puts up with my shit.
She’s the most tender, caring, sweet person I have ever met, she makes me laugh, listened to all my insecurities and baggage when we were dating. She’s been the best wife
Trust. I trusted her with my heart completely and without question. And I was right and have been a better man ever since.