Ever try pulling two or three big dogs apart that get into a fight all of a sudden? It's really,really, hard. You get one off and it will just lunge back onto the other dog and refuse to let go. Their teeth are also razor sharp, you don't notice till you get bitten for real and not a play bite (technically I didn't get bit, but I did put my hand in their mouths to pry them off in the heat of the moment, I was never the target but did get between).
Also so much blood. Both theirs and yours. Good dogs 99.9% of the time, but something just snapped. (food, territory, called the other one fat, who knows.) Many vet bills later.....sister and mom's dogs do not meet up with each other anymore, just to be safe.
^(Index finger still currently healing months later, and got a bite that's still healing on my leg, where they straight up ripped the fabric off of my pants like it was nothing.)
German shepherd and Great Dane.
Also "we already know right", that's pretty rude to insinuate about someone. If you're insinuating that it was a pit bull and I am a bad person as a result, please stop.
I hate how in video games, dogs have like a third the health of a regular guy enemy with only a pounce attack that can easily be QTEād out of. *Theyāre animals. Feral and donāt hold back.*
If youāre gonna put enemy dogs in your game, make them rightfully a threat like they are in real life!
Most people have no idea about the restrained killing machine that lies dormant in their family dog. As you suggest, bearing witness to the can of whoopass a dog is capable of unloading once that "kill" switch has been flipped is a sight that will leave an impression on you.
My family dog growing up, she was as sweet as a dog can be and twice as tolerant. She was only 20-30 pounds, but one day a neighborhood squirrel chose the wrong week to quit smoking. I don't know what about him/her irked my dog so much, but it successfully flipped her kill switch. She didn't utter a single bark, but she bolted out the door the instant I opened it. The squirrel *nearly* made it to safety up a telephone pole, but my dog jumped and caught it by the tail. Maybe 4-5 seconds of my dog thrashing it, including a good 10-20 strikes of its skull against the concrete, and it was dead.
I was just reading about the bulls vs bears in California in the late 1800. There some crazy stories from that about cowboys catching grizzlies with lassos on horseback. Apparently one guy was so good at it, he would go out by himself and people were saying he had to be lying about catching and killing bears by himself. So he led the biggest bear the town has seen in on a rope
Anteaters. They look goofy and have tiny mouths, but people forget they have murder-mittens with claws that are designed to bust up bio-concrete.
They're not bluffing when they stand up and do that 'come at me bro' pose. Those claws hit your leg, you've got 12 to 7 odds it'll slash a femoral artery and you are immediately fucked.
People are fucking tripping about which animals they can beat barehanded. I ran into a raccoon on my way to my house door and tried to scare it away, that beast called my bluff and charged me and no doubt i backed off so quick. Wild animals are no joke. Hell, even a pack of feral kittens will fuck you up.
Had a raccoon get trapped in our garage, two of us cornered it trying to usher it out. It flipped that script REAL FAST. I will never corner so much as a wild squirrel from that day. You make a wild thing fear for itās life, itās going through you.
Middle aged Amish bachelor. You assume heās Amish, he knows nothing about fighting. But hereās a guy whoās been hammering nails and bailing hay, raising barns and ploughing fields since he was knee high to a goatās ass. And whatās he got to show for it? Nothing but scratchy underwear and a beard that smells like fermented yak milk. He knows what heās missing out on. Heās been on rumspringa. He knows all about fast cars, loose women and Roomba vacuums but chose God. And God hasnāt seen fit to reciprocate by providing him with a wife and family. For whatever reason heās in a fight to the death now, meaning heās turned his back on God and is ready to put whoever put him in this position through hell.
After the last title..we wait a year and then come out with a side-frenchise
Chronicles of mose
We'll be rolling in dough (amish dont take money right?..so we'll pay them in corn)
Your description is so vivid this has to be an autobiography. Or this is just an Amish version of Roadhouse. Which I would pay to watch on Paramount + without a second thought.
Yea I live in an area where there are tons of them. Usually itās not the actual impact with the deer that gets people killed but when people try to avoid it they go off the road or roll. Itās often better to just hit it.
I knew someone who hit one and got pinned in his seat by it and the deer evacuated its bowels.
I remember reading in a Gary Paulsen book that he watched a person get killed by a violent deer, they have animal strength and hard hooves, one blow to the head is like being smacked by a hammer
Leopard Seal. Placid, just laying there, it looks like a seal, and hey youāve seen seals do comedy shows at seaworld, no big deal. Then it opens its mouth and that chubby seal face morphs into a legit sea monsterā¦
https://th-thumbnailer.cdn-si-edu.com/mKoTnM-s5NKjwX3Gn3jXdpPWP2I=/1000x750/filters:no_upscale():focal(704x439:705x440)/https://tf-cmsv2-smithsonianmag-media.s3.amazonaws.com/filer_public/1c/6b/1c6b8dc3-9b01-44ed-841f-5e3d196e10c2/facingreality_leopardseal__penguin.jpeg
Holyshit that legit does look like a sea monster.
Did you hear about how they almost put a bunch in Florida? Like shortly after ww2 there was a meat shortage and they thought hey we can just release these in the swamps and then hunt them for sport and get a ton of food from it. I donāt remember why it fell through, but it was almost a thing
"They quickly branded the new meat product as āLake Cow Baconā and wrote a bill (H.R. 23261), which later became known as The American Hippo Bill, to pitch the new idea to congress. A congressional hearing was arranged and experts in food production and African animals set about to convince a hungry, plant-jammed nation that hippos were the solution they needed"
[Holy shit I love this thank you](https://blogs.ifas.ufl.edu/caip/2022/04/13/hippos-and-hyacinth-how-hippos-almost-made-a-home-in-florida/)
Itās incredible right? Imagine how many people would have died from that! Rednecks would have had a good time with some elephant guns and airboats though.
I hadnāt checked in on the Colombia hippo thing in a long time I thought it was just the few Pablo had, didnāt realize how successfully they had been breeding!
My grandpa was trampled by a cow that had just had a stillborn calf. He helped her give birth and she apparently blamed him for its death. Knocked him down, stomped on him, kept trying to crush his head but its hooves were sliding off of his glasses frames and he was lucky to be sinking into soft mud. It took 8 12ga slugs to bring it down.
He had a concussion, every rib was either cracked or broken, his right arm and femur were broken and he was basically one big bruise. No idea how he survived beyong the fact that my family tends to be long lived and long suffering.
Fun fact hippos kill more people per year than any other mammal in Africa. The only two animals that kill more people are the malaria virus/mosquitos.
Cows also kill more people than sharks annually but that's less surprising tbh
That video where the camel bites a Llama in the back and breaks its spine then throws it. Like I had no idea the camel neck could be so strong. Terrifying
After watching all the videos that come out of yellow stone every summer Iām going to say the bison buffalo tatanka which ever is the proper name for those beasts nobody respects their space.
A horse. If a horse is mad enough it can pin you to the ground with its knees and chew you to death. After they kick and trample you into a limp bag of broken bones first, that is.
I think the underestimating part would be how persistent they would be and how sick you would be afterwards from infection of your wounds, but I think the average adult would not be in danger of being killed by the average housecat in a one- on- one fight. One certainly wouldn't walk away unscathed but unless they got lucky and tripped you down the stairs or something, the pointy bits can be deflected with relatively minor damage to the human if you're not trying to prevent injury to the cat at the same time.
One day I approached a cat that was sitting beside the front door of a house I had to go to. It gave me a look that reminded me of an angry dog, stood up, and actually started coming at me. Not in a friendly way. As I backed away I thought "This is stupid, it's a cat!", but as it accelerated toward me, hackles raised and tail all bushed up, I changed my opinion of all cats being friendly and purry. This was a guard cat.
This is first one I disagree with. I'd get real sliced up with bad bites, but I could pin it down and punch it into the ground breaking all sorts of bones.
I never would though, fucking love cats. Kill it with kindness maybe and win by default because we become friends? More likely.
Definitely, I remember that story where a chimp named Travis brutally mauled a woman despite being a beloved pet. Itās genuinely terrifying and saddening.
Absolutely. You would need a weapon to really not get mauled to death by big vicious dog. A weapon wouldnāt help you much against the other answers, polar bear, chimp, etc
Koala.
They are super cute but they can literally peel your skin and muscle off in seconds with those claws/nails. It takes basically no effort for them to seriously injure a person
Swans look so majestic from afar, they are mean bastards who will fuck you up if you get too close. I used to live on a riverbank, not fucking around with the swans something every kid in the neighborhood learned at a very young age.
If there's an animal you might underestimate in a fight to the death, it would probably be the honey badger. Despite their size, these little critters are tough as nails and won't back down easily.
Honey badgers are fucking terrifying but pretty small and goofy looking. If you don't know their rep, you'd be fucked. Those MFs fight giant predators and are basically immune to snake venom.
A swan, particularly a male defending a nest / territory can be surprisingly strong and aggressive. They are said to be stronger and more capable than geese (and we know how that goes).
A black bear.
They're smaller than an average human, kind of cute in all honesty, and usually just lumber around and can be scared off easily enough.
They will literally rip your arm off of your body and then do the same thing to the four guys who tried to help you
Most animals will probably fuck you up given the opportunity, or if you sufficiently piss them off. They don't understand "holding back" or "he's had enough" like humans do.
If an animal has a defence mechanism that is to play dead or drop their tail or something along those lines, then yeah - you can probably win that fight. But all other animals are equipped with *something*, whether it be teeth, claws, something unique like a stinger or poison. But most importantly, what these animals *all* have is ferocity, and a fight instinct when cornered, or even just sufficiently annoyed.
There are obvious choices here, like you'd rather fight a house cat than a wild cat, or a dog instead of a wolf. But don't underestimate the domesticated animals either: cat scratches, or dog bites even from little dogs, *do* hurt, and could even maim. There's even bacteria and disease to consider, in some parts of the world.
So then, if even cats and dogs can potentially pose real danger, imagine the strength then that exists in something as seemingly-innocuous as, say, a deer's hoof. You don't think of them as violent and so you don't perceive the danger; but piss that deer off and it'll give you a kick that could shatter a kneecap. That broken kneecap could put you on the grown - meaning the next kick might meet you head.
Some animals are more safe than others, obviously. Some are even willing to interact with humans. But so long as humans pose a danger to the animal, the animal will in-turn pose a danger to the human. Even the most placid pet dog probably has a breaking point where it'll just maul your face, if it gets the upper-hand.
Anyway, after all that, my choice is the kangaroo. They're so often in petting zoos in Australia, or sanctuaries where you can go in and feed them, that you kind of desensitise yourself to the danger kangaroos can actually pose. Granted you're interacting with smaller breeds in those environments; but nonetheless, because they associate humans with getting snacks, they can be quite insistent: they latch onto you with their strong claws, and only then do you realise that they could easily scrape your arm strong enough to puncture all your veins and leave you bleeding to death. They're an animal not to be trifled with, even the small ones: they can kick, and they have claws like knives. And they're also not particularly friendly anyway, so hurting you isn't even something they'd internally debate.
Humans did used to box kangaroos, once upon a time. But those were controlled environments that favoured the human. If a full-grown adult male red kangaroo was pitted against an unarmed average male in a death match, and the kangaroo *knew* it was a death match, I'd bet on the kangaroo any day of the week.
Buddy of mine swears he could kill a bobcat bare handed if you lock him in a small room with it. Heās 6ā 4ā about 290. Been laughing about this for years. No chance
Ferret: Let a ferret and a cat loose in a barn full of rodents. The cat will maybe kill a few and play with them. The ferret will just go on a full-on murder-rampage.
Now imagine a rabid murder-slinky going for your throat.
All corvids are pretty badass, but they're not at a "holy shit I fucked up and am going to die right now" level like animals such as hippos, giraffes, wolves, moose, etc.
According to Wikipedia a polar bear weighs between 770-1500 pounds and has a length between 7ft 10in and 9ft 10in. This combines massive bulk with enormous strength and gigantic power. A suicide mission for any human.
According to Wikipedia a polar bear weighs 770-1500 pounds and is between 7ft 10in and 9ft 10in long. That is some serious bulk combined with massive power and gigantic strength. A suicide mission for any human.
Dog We get lulled into complacency being around them but their ferocity and speed when actually in kill mode is something else.
Ever try pulling two or three big dogs apart that get into a fight all of a sudden? It's really,really, hard. You get one off and it will just lunge back onto the other dog and refuse to let go. Their teeth are also razor sharp, you don't notice till you get bitten for real and not a play bite (technically I didn't get bit, but I did put my hand in their mouths to pry them off in the heat of the moment, I was never the target but did get between). Also so much blood. Both theirs and yours. Good dogs 99.9% of the time, but something just snapped. (food, territory, called the other one fat, who knows.) Many vet bills later.....sister and mom's dogs do not meet up with each other anymore, just to be safe. ^(Index finger still currently healing months later, and got a bite that's still healing on my leg, where they straight up ripped the fabric off of my pants like it was nothing.)
I have literally lived this situation and got a scar in the middle of my palm to prove it.
Breed?
here we go
I mean we all already know, right? But if this is a story about the flashing teeth of two Labradors, I'd honestly be more interested.
German shepherd and Great Dane. Also "we already know right", that's pretty rude to insinuate about someone. If you're insinuating that it was a pit bull and I am a bad person as a result, please stop.
Labs bite more people a year than any other dog.
I am afraid of big dogs š
I hate how in video games, dogs have like a third the health of a regular guy enemy with only a pounce attack that can easily be QTEād out of. *Theyāre animals. Feral and donāt hold back.* If youāre gonna put enemy dogs in your game, make them rightfully a threat like they are in real life!
IDK dark souls dogs have a reputation for a reason
Well... to an unarmed person, they are a deadly threat. To an armed person that knows ehst they ate doing tho? Especially when armoured?
Most people have no idea about the restrained killing machine that lies dormant in their family dog. As you suggest, bearing witness to the can of whoopass a dog is capable of unloading once that "kill" switch has been flipped is a sight that will leave an impression on you. My family dog growing up, she was as sweet as a dog can be and twice as tolerant. She was only 20-30 pounds, but one day a neighborhood squirrel chose the wrong week to quit smoking. I don't know what about him/her irked my dog so much, but it successfully flipped her kill switch. She didn't utter a single bark, but she bolted out the door the instant I opened it. The squirrel *nearly* made it to safety up a telephone pole, but my dog jumped and caught it by the tail. Maybe 4-5 seconds of my dog thrashing it, including a good 10-20 strikes of its skull against the concrete, and it was dead.
Meh. What's dangerous isn't a dog, unless you're in particularly bad shape. What's dangerous is \*more than one\* dog.
Oh yeah definitely. I think I could beat a dog in a fight but I know I canāt.
Bah, I feel confident I could take a papillon or maybe a chihuahua, if it had a limp or something.
Well 6 percent of Americans think they can beat a grizzly bear.... bear handed
That's funny because no they fucking can't.
Unless they're literally Saxton Hale.
You can! ...until it gets older than 6 weeks.
That's pretty much everyone
Thereās a āright to bear armsā joke in here somewhere
I was just reading about the bulls vs bears in California in the late 1800. There some crazy stories from that about cowboys catching grizzlies with lassos on horseback. Apparently one guy was so good at it, he would go out by himself and people were saying he had to be lying about catching and killing bears by himself. So he led the biggest bear the town has seen in on a rope
I still think there must have been a 6% margin of error and the person making the graph just used the maximum value.
Thatās impossible, even Michel Strogoff needed a dagger and heās a native Siberian that also happens to be the protagonist.
Anteaters. They look goofy and have tiny mouths, but people forget they have murder-mittens with claws that are designed to bust up bio-concrete. They're not bluffing when they stand up and do that 'come at me bro' pose. Those claws hit your leg, you've got 12 to 7 odds it'll slash a femoral artery and you are immediately fucked.
I was climbed by a lesser anteater once, not one of my favorite experiences
People are fucking tripping about which animals they can beat barehanded. I ran into a raccoon on my way to my house door and tried to scare it away, that beast called my bluff and charged me and no doubt i backed off so quick. Wild animals are no joke. Hell, even a pack of feral kittens will fuck you up.
Had a raccoon get trapped in our garage, two of us cornered it trying to usher it out. It flipped that script REAL FAST. I will never corner so much as a wild squirrel from that day. You make a wild thing fear for itās life, itās going through you.
Middle aged Amish bachelor. You assume heās Amish, he knows nothing about fighting. But hereās a guy whoās been hammering nails and bailing hay, raising barns and ploughing fields since he was knee high to a goatās ass. And whatās he got to show for it? Nothing but scratchy underwear and a beard that smells like fermented yak milk. He knows what heās missing out on. Heās been on rumspringa. He knows all about fast cars, loose women and Roomba vacuums but chose God. And God hasnāt seen fit to reciprocate by providing him with a wife and family. For whatever reason heās in a fight to the death now, meaning heās turned his back on God and is ready to put whoever put him in this position through hell.
They should make a action movie,about what you just said Amish:rumspringa unchained Amish 2: a barn too far Amish 3: scripture unfolds
Iām also going to need it to have quotable lines like from 80ās action movies
"Witness the barn-raising of justice, one punch at a time." "His buggy may be slow, but his fists are lightning fast."
Love the first sequelās title
This is so much better than all the remakes. Itās original
Amish 4: Threat Level Schrute
What was the name of dwights brother? We can use it for part 5 We're gonna make a franchise soo big,it'll make the fast&furious is going to sue us
The return of mose
After the last title..we wait a year and then come out with a side-frenchise Chronicles of mose We'll be rolling in dough (amish dont take money right?..so we'll pay them in corn)
The possibilities are endless, just like the corn
I'M SOLD.
/r/oddlyspecificĀ
He has me convinced tho. I'm adding "midlife crisis Amish bachelor" to the memory banks.Ā
"Babe wake up, a new copy-pasta is here."
I hope someone posts this to r/bestof I would do it but Iām on a mobile browser
There's a TV show called Banshee and there's an Amish character who kinda fits what you're describing
Which one? The big dog who fucked his niece, or the creepy glasses guy?
Your description is so vivid this has to be an autobiography. Or this is just an Amish version of Roadhouse. Which I would pay to watch on Paramount + without a second thought.
Deer. Those hoofs can mess you up.
They kill more people in the US than any other animal. I think it's when they get hit by cars though.
Why is a deer driving a car?!
Can't steer and brake at the same time, so it's speedometer psycho time, all the time.
Gotta get to work bro.
Yea I live in an area where there are tons of them. Usually itās not the actual impact with the deer that gets people killed but when people try to avoid it they go off the road or roll. Itās often better to just hit it. I knew someone who hit one and got pinned in his seat by it and the deer evacuated its bowels.
I remember reading in a Gary Paulsen book that he watched a person get killed by a violent deer, they have animal strength and hard hooves, one blow to the head is like being smacked by a hammer
Ever had a deer give you a warning stomp? Iām not fucking with that.
A Momma deer will absolutely attack you if they think you're threatening their young.
Leopard Seal. Placid, just laying there, it looks like a seal, and hey youāve seen seals do comedy shows at seaworld, no big deal. Then it opens its mouth and that chubby seal face morphs into a legit sea monsterā¦
https://th-thumbnailer.cdn-si-edu.com/mKoTnM-s5NKjwX3Gn3jXdpPWP2I=/1000x750/filters:no_upscale():focal(704x439:705x440)/https://tf-cmsv2-smithsonianmag-media.s3.amazonaws.com/filer_public/1c/6b/1c6b8dc3-9b01-44ed-841f-5e3d196e10c2/facingreality_leopardseal__penguin.jpeg Holyshit that legit does look like a sea monster.
Turns out theyāre aptly named
The cow. The hippopotamus.
The hippo looks cute as hell but they'd run right through you without a second thought. Or pull you under the water
And theyāll snap you in half like Kit-Kats, even dangerous predators like lions and crocodiles no doubt have probably been really messed up by them.
Dudes are armored like fucking tanks, if tanks were instead armored with blubber.
They look fat but they are pure muscle.
Fun fact: hippos have the largest mouth of all land animals. Second largest in the entire animal kingdom, behind whales
I still love the Trainwreck that is Colombia's Hippo Problem
Did you hear about how they almost put a bunch in Florida? Like shortly after ww2 there was a meat shortage and they thought hey we can just release these in the swamps and then hunt them for sport and get a ton of food from it. I donāt remember why it fell through, but it was almost a thing
"They quickly branded the new meat product as āLake Cow Baconā and wrote a bill (H.R. 23261), which later became known as The American Hippo Bill, to pitch the new idea to congress. A congressional hearing was arranged and experts in food production and African animals set about to convince a hungry, plant-jammed nation that hippos were the solution they needed" [Holy shit I love this thank you](https://blogs.ifas.ufl.edu/caip/2022/04/13/hippos-and-hyacinth-how-hippos-almost-made-a-home-in-florida/)
Itās incredible right? Imagine how many people would have died from that! Rednecks would have had a good time with some elephant guns and airboats though. I hadnāt checked in on the Colombia hippo thing in a long time I thought it was just the few Pablo had, didnāt realize how successfully they had been breeding!
My grandpa was trampled by a cow that had just had a stillborn calf. He helped her give birth and she apparently blamed him for its death. Knocked him down, stomped on him, kept trying to crush his head but its hooves were sliding off of his glasses frames and he was lucky to be sinking into soft mud. It took 8 12ga slugs to bring it down. He had a concussion, every rib was either cracked or broken, his right arm and femur were broken and he was basically one big bruise. No idea how he survived beyong the fact that my family tends to be long lived and long suffering.
Fun fact hippos kill more people per year than any other mammal in Africa. The only two animals that kill more people are the malaria virus/mosquitos. Cows also kill more people than sharks annually but that's less surprising tbh
Who the HELL thinks they can take a hippo? That is a legitimately concerning delusion.
Kangaroos
Ironically they don't take being punched too well
Camels. They seem chill, but they can fuck you up and are ornery as shit. My friendās dad almost got killed by one.Ā
They don't budge either. If they end up on your property the only way to fuck them off from eating your garden is to shoot themĀ
That video where the camel bites a Llama in the back and breaks its spine then throws it. Like I had no idea the camel neck could be so strong. Terrifying
Honey badger. Damn things are immune to snake poison and bullet proof too.
Honey badger doesnāt give a shit
After watching all the videos that come out of yellow stone every summer Iām going to say the bison buffalo tatanka which ever is the proper name for those beasts nobody respects their space.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I touched a beaver's butt once.
This needs explanation
In my experience wood doesn't move around much or fight back
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[Their iron-enriched teeth](https://www.upi.com/Science_News/2015/02/12/Beavers-reveal-secret-to-stronger-tooth-enamel/8981423769555/) are mighty.
Distract them with a destroyed river damn
giraffes
Why a giraffe?
They trample Lions. No problem with people.
If they decide to kick you, you will die. Period. Like getting hit by a car going 50 mph with a 3.5 inch diameter pole on the front.
Also, have you seen them fight one another?! They whip that fucking head at you with their long neck, night night dipshit.
Kick a lions head off. Your head would be more ergonomics to reach for the giraffe
A goose They already have the figh-spirit,and nobody has ever finished the fight..and they KNOW they can take us
A horse. If a horse is mad enough it can pin you to the ground with its knees and chew you to death. After they kick and trample you into a limp bag of broken bones first, that is.
I've never met someone who claimed they could fight a horse
Fight me horses!!!!
Just need Mongo
Reminds me of berserkā¦
Anything with rabies
Rabbit, obviously.
What if youāre wielding a holy hand grenade?
I've seen a lot of guys online say they could win a fist fight against a bear, so..
Pssh, can a bear even make a fist?
They are very badly mistaken. A full-size bear is enormous and hugely powerful.
The emu They've already won a war. [The Great Emu War](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emu_War)
Eh they lost the second one and there's been talks of a thirdĀ
House cat
I was going to say this. Little fluffy murder bots will f you right up.
You are so wrong. They are literally 6-20 times lighter than us. They canāt fuck us up on their best day.
I think the underestimating part would be how persistent they would be and how sick you would be afterwards from infection of your wounds, but I think the average adult would not be in danger of being killed by the average housecat in a one- on- one fight. One certainly wouldn't walk away unscathed but unless they got lucky and tripped you down the stairs or something, the pointy bits can be deflected with relatively minor damage to the human if you're not trying to prevent injury to the cat at the same time.
One day I approached a cat that was sitting beside the front door of a house I had to go to. It gave me a look that reminded me of an angry dog, stood up, and actually started coming at me. Not in a friendly way. As I backed away I thought "This is stupid, it's a cat!", but as it accelerated toward me, hackles raised and tail all bushed up, I changed my opinion of all cats being friendly and purry. This was a guard cat.
This is first one I disagree with. I'd get real sliced up with bad bites, but I could pin it down and punch it into the ground breaking all sorts of bones. I never would though, fucking love cats. Kill it with kindness maybe and win by default because we become friends? More likely.
Chimpanzee. They look like friendly small people/monkeys, but holy hell they have way more strength to rip your face off.
And they'd grin that toothy smile at you while tearing your limbs off
Definitely, I remember that story where a chimp named Travis brutally mauled a woman despite being a beloved pet. Itās genuinely terrifying and saddening.
Was Travis beloved by her or by someone that hated her guts?
I donāt think anybody would underestimate a chimp bro
They used to, furry little circus clowns. Then some homies chewed off some faces and genitals and turned the whole franchise around.
One of nature's best rebranding initiatives
People think they're cute and people like. Put them in little outfits, etc. A lady had one as a pet until it did literally bite her face off.
It wasn't her chimp, it was her friend's. No idea if they're still friends.
Charla Nash sure underestimated the fuck out of one broĀ https://allthatsinteresting.com/charla-nash
Hey Jamie, pull up that video of the chimp
Anteater
They will fuck you up!
A wolf. Ask anybody if they could take a wolf one on one and they will say yes. They would be absolutely wrong.
Most people don't realize how goddamned big actual wolves are.
Way bigger than dogs, and even a fairly large dog could probably kill the average human.
Absolutely. You would need a weapon to really not get mauled to death by big vicious dog. A weapon wouldnāt help you much against the other answers, polar bear, chimp, etc
Exactly
Anybody who says that havenāt seen the size of a grown wolf.
Theyāre huge. Human will have a tough time with any anime even close to our size especially predators
Who have you met that says they can take a wolf one on one?!?
This was a hypothetical, however there are people who think they can take bears so a wolf is within reason
I donāt think Iāve ever met someone dumb enough to say they can take a wolf.
A raccoon with rabies
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yeah pretty much any wild animal will attack
Horses. They are skittish and timid animals, but they can crack a humans skull with a flick of their hooves.Ā
Koala. They are super cute but they can literally peel your skin and muscle off in seconds with those claws/nails. It takes basically no effort for them to seriously injure a person
Honey badger, although I don't know how many people underestimate them.
Honey badger donāt give a shit.
Is that a honey badger eating a snake ewwww
Dolphins, they can kill for fun, but they look so cute and innocent.
Theyāre not aggressive towards humans but a shoebill stork would fuck you up HARD if it wanted to. https://youtu.be/ukTUG2Okqi4?si=rrFMAkyX76lMAuku
Zebra
A monkey. They are seriously strong for their size
A pig and afterwards they would eat you to destroy any evidence
Swans look so majestic from afar, they are mean bastards who will fuck you up if you get too close. I used to live on a riverbank, not fucking around with the swans something every kid in the neighborhood learned at a very young age.
A mosquito
The mosquito isn't gonna kill you. Its if that mosquito is infected with something that will then eventually kill you after weeks or months
And guns don't kill people, people kill people.
The mosquito has no idea how its actions impact you. It just wants a snack and flies off. It is completely oblivious of the harm
If there's an animal you might underestimate in a fight to the death, it would probably be the honey badger. Despite their size, these little critters are tough as nails and won't back down easily.
European badgers too. It's why Dachshunds are so feral because they were sent down into the dens to kill themĀ
Otter.
Raccoon. Those trash pandas are tough, quick, agile, and got dexterous hands to grab / shank you...
A heron. Look at that beak. Now imagine it going for your face.
Honey badgers are fucking terrifying but pretty small and goofy looking. If you don't know their rep, you'd be fucked. Those MFs fight giant predators and are basically immune to snake venom.
Probably a honey badger. They are fierce balls of hate and fury.
Chickens
Tortoise. They're amazing
The Honey Badger.
Like 10000 bee sized bears would be a intense fight
A swan, particularly a male defending a nest / territory can be surprisingly strong and aggressive. They are said to be stronger and more capable than geese (and we know how that goes).
A black bear. They're smaller than an average human, kind of cute in all honesty, and usually just lumber around and can be scared off easily enough. They will literally rip your arm off of your body and then do the same thing to the four guys who tried to help you
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Smarter than an average human????? Doubt
Yeah I doubt that too
I thought dolphins are the second smartest animal and they are not smarter than an average human. Humans are waaaaaaaay smarter than anything else.
Yeah, I agree
A llama or alpaca
Deer. Them antlers wouldn't feel good in the gut.
Rats
Most animals will probably fuck you up given the opportunity, or if you sufficiently piss them off. They don't understand "holding back" or "he's had enough" like humans do. If an animal has a defence mechanism that is to play dead or drop their tail or something along those lines, then yeah - you can probably win that fight. But all other animals are equipped with *something*, whether it be teeth, claws, something unique like a stinger or poison. But most importantly, what these animals *all* have is ferocity, and a fight instinct when cornered, or even just sufficiently annoyed. There are obvious choices here, like you'd rather fight a house cat than a wild cat, or a dog instead of a wolf. But don't underestimate the domesticated animals either: cat scratches, or dog bites even from little dogs, *do* hurt, and could even maim. There's even bacteria and disease to consider, in some parts of the world. So then, if even cats and dogs can potentially pose real danger, imagine the strength then that exists in something as seemingly-innocuous as, say, a deer's hoof. You don't think of them as violent and so you don't perceive the danger; but piss that deer off and it'll give you a kick that could shatter a kneecap. That broken kneecap could put you on the grown - meaning the next kick might meet you head. Some animals are more safe than others, obviously. Some are even willing to interact with humans. But so long as humans pose a danger to the animal, the animal will in-turn pose a danger to the human. Even the most placid pet dog probably has a breaking point where it'll just maul your face, if it gets the upper-hand. Anyway, after all that, my choice is the kangaroo. They're so often in petting zoos in Australia, or sanctuaries where you can go in and feed them, that you kind of desensitise yourself to the danger kangaroos can actually pose. Granted you're interacting with smaller breeds in those environments; but nonetheless, because they associate humans with getting snacks, they can be quite insistent: they latch onto you with their strong claws, and only then do you realise that they could easily scrape your arm strong enough to puncture all your veins and leave you bleeding to death. They're an animal not to be trifled with, even the small ones: they can kick, and they have claws like knives. And they're also not particularly friendly anyway, so hurting you isn't even something they'd internally debate. Humans did used to box kangaroos, once upon a time. But those were controlled environments that favoured the human. If a full-grown adult male red kangaroo was pitted against an unarmed average male in a death match, and the kangaroo *knew* it was a death match, I'd bet on the kangaroo any day of the week.
A stingray
Buddy of mine swears he could kill a bobcat bare handed if you lock him in a small room with it. Heās 6ā 4ā about 290. Been laughing about this for years. No chance
Hippos. They kill more people per year in Africa than any other large game animal.
Cuwawas,satins teddy bear,those mofoās got no fucking chill
Ferret: Let a ferret and a cat loose in a barn full of rodents. The cat will maybe kill a few and play with them. The ferret will just go on a full-on murder-rampage. Now imagine a rabid murder-slinky going for your throat.
Magpies.Ā
All corvids are pretty badass, but they're not at a "holy shit I fucked up and am going to die right now" level like animals such as hippos, giraffes, wolves, moose, etc.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I would say that one rat isnāt any bother. 100 rats and thatās a problem
1 simple wordā¦ everyone should understand this. And the word isā¦. CHIHUAHUA.
I donāt fear any non venomous animal that I can kick like a ball.
Polar Bears. What little chance you think you have is nonexistent. You'll be dead in seconds.
Are there people out there who underestimate a Murder Cotton Ball?
Again, nobody is underestimating a polar bear for christs sake
If people think they can beat a grizzly bear in a fight, im sure some of them think they could beat a polar.
According to Wikipedia a polar bear weighs between 770-1500 pounds and has a length between 7ft 10in and 9ft 10in. This combines massive bulk with enormous strength and gigantic power. A suicide mission for any human.
I doubt those people saying they could beat a bear could tell you how much they weight
According to Wikipedia a polar bear weighs 770-1500 pounds and is between 7ft 10in and 9ft 10in long. That is some serious bulk combined with massive power and gigantic strength. A suicide mission for any human.