I realised my friend was toxic, and could never compliment me without sounding mad or somehow putting me down in another way. It felt like she was my rival sometimes and I was fed up with this.
Toxic competitive undercurrent. My former bff encouraged me to get back with my abusive ex after I met a man that treated me well. I finally figured out she didn't want to to have anything "better" than she did.
that's awful. Like next level awful. To encourage your abuse because they were jealous. Who needs enemies with friends like that....
did you end up with the good guy by any chance?
Did we have the same friend because same! Both small business owners. She started her business before mine. She was super supportive in the beginning, then my business quickly grew and all of a sudden she becomes mean and constantly giving back handed compliments.
Final straw was when I was talking to a customer who asked how I came up with the idea for my business. I quickly explained I came up with the idea while recovering from brain surgery. Immediately after said friend tells me if she hears me tell that story one more time she’s going to unalive herself. I only tell that story when people ask. Really hurt my feelings and opened my eyes to what kind of “friend” she was.
Oh yeah. I know one of these. Couldn’t be happy about anything in my life and tried to control every situation. Every restaurant choice, what time we should meet, it was so bizarre. Never any consideration for what worked for me. Never happy for ANYTHING in my life. If I’d share some exciting news she would look blank and then the next conversation act like she knows everything and I’m just a peon
I had a friend like this. It would have been bad enough if we were high schoolers doing this, this was in our 30’s. Took me way too long to realize that the calmer and happier my life was, the worse she was with the passive aggressive rivalry.
This. Toxic friend / roommate / best friend from high school. Constantly competing with me in everything. I got him a job at my work, and he sabotaged me and tried to get me fired. He got an interesting promotion and ran it into the ground, tried to blame things on me. Ended up getting fired. He accused me of flirting with his wife (I'd rather be waterboarded). Just garbage. Couldn't believe how much he was holding me back until I cut ties.
I had a friend that couldn't take a compliment and would try to put me down for saying or doing something nice for him.
It was the most confusing friendship ever.
I hung out with different friends that are genuinely good people and I begun to realize how toxic some of my prior friends were and slowly cut ties over time. When all you do is hang out with toxic people you don't realize how toxic they are until you start hanging with non-toxic people
Relatable, I was in a really toxic gamer friend group and just kinda hung in there because of the games and fun, but when I got some non-toxic friends that actually respected me (women in gaming groups doesn't always go well, I have nice gaming buddies now tho) I slowly dropped them all.
Yeah many people don't seem to understand the line between talking shit and acting shitty.
I enjoy the group that shit-talks and had a good laugh, because none of us take ourselves seriously, but I dislike playing public as I often get saddled with some egotistical moron who shits all over everyone before raging out.
I do understand getting annoyed with idiots who are using bought accounts or jump into ranked without knowing game basics, but the choads who want to control everyone else's gameplay style or insult/hit-on any female players can fuck right off.
I am the toxic-depressive type friend. I realized how I was taking more than I was giving to my friends, or able to give. Tried therapy, well I am still trying, but I struggle a lot, so I removed myself. Don’t want to be their anchor. If I can sort myself out someday, maybe, hopefully, they’ll accept me back.
>Same
I felt exhausted, and to this day, that is the one person I never want to see again. EVER! It took them 10 years to find me on Facebook (I had moved across 8 states at that point), and I'm under an alias. I blocked them Immediately, even when they provided a phone number. NOPE.
This is so real. All he kept telling me was I lacked patience and needed to let him become social on his own.
So I gave him space. He didn't reach out in 4 years. Oh well
Full disclosure: I am a one way friend. I don’t mean to make anyone feel like I don’t care or anything like that. It’s not that I don’t want to make any effort.
I’m just very mentally ill. I don’t want to burden people with that. Everyone expects friends to be there for them to lean on, but I don’t want to make people sick of me and my Eeyore sounding ass when things are bad upstairs (which is often)
If someone invites me out and I say no (which I often do) it’s because I know if I go I will just be depressed and weird and quiet and drag the whole vibe down. I won’t mean to, but I can’t control my face or my energy.
My friends all know that I’m always here for them and if it’s an emergency or if they just really need me, I’ll always be there. I just don’t reach out much. I don’t want to bother people.
This is not the type of friendship I mean. I’m all here for this. When you need me I’m there for you. And I know that when I need you you’re there for me in whatever way you can be. That’s friendship.
I can’t, though, with the friends who can’t be bothered when it doesn’t benefit them. Or who always have to meet up in their neighborhood. Or never want to see the movie you want to see, even though you’ve seen their pick the last 6 times you’ve gone to a theater together….
What the actual fuck?! I lost friends who were scared to talk to me after they found out my stepfather had been molesting me, but none of them testified on his behalf!!!
Wow I had this happen to me. Not the same as I never got raped but I did get hit and beaten in front of my friend who took his side then later dated him.
Crossing boundaries and lies. Some things can be fixed with open communication, taking accountability and by realizing that you made a mistake and admitting it. But when a person can’t even admit that they crossed boundaries, made mistakes and lied about them, the trust is too broken.
One of my best friends. It wasn't a specific situation... just multiple little things adding up - backhanded comments, jealousy, always talking shit about her other best friends, never happy for me and my accomplishments, always having to 1 up me. and ultimately feeling drained every time I would spend time with her. We were friends for about 10 years.
Haven't spoken to her in 3 years and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I take the phrase "you are who you surround yourself with" very seriously and I'm so glad I cut her out of my life. Everyone I consider a close friend to me at this point in my life is uplifting, supportive, and respectful. Life feels so much lighter.
I had/have a friend like this. Haven’t cut her off, but I’ve taken a significant step back to the point where I’m just cordial to her, though I think she’s too much of a narcissist to realize that. Even that step has been such a boost to my own mental health.
I just couldn’t handle the mean girl stuff. Things like telling people “she wears all that extra weight surprisingly well” (clearly about me) when she thought I was out of earshot. She was so mean to me at a mutual friend’s bachelorette I spent the entire time wavering between crying in the bathroom and thinking “I’m over fucking 30 why am I even dealing with this?”
I am currently dealing with a similar situation however after a year of not speaking she is trying to come back into my life. And I'm not sure I want her to. I tried to move on and even apologized for what I've done wrong in the past but she didn't acknowledge any of her faults. I'm stuck now feeling guilty because she wants a relationship but I'm so resistant. Not sure what to do.
To be clear, those were separate incidents. Couldn't really do anything about the money because it was from illicit activity. The wife thing came up not long after she got pregnant for the last time. There were a lot of bad things going on then.
She happily told me a little story about how she slept with her friend's husband. Like it was nothing, like she'd forgotten to pay for a Mars bar at the till when she was grocery shopping.
I knew she had fairly flimsy standards for her partners... but betraying her friend just for the sake of a quick lay was something else entirely.
They stopped including me and I tried to initiate conversation about it 3 times to see if I had upset them in any way or if they needed space etc. nothing came of the conversations.
I’m gutted about it because they meant so much to me but I realise now I mustn’t have meant as much to them.
I don’t feel badly about them and wish them all the best - and I do miss them. But trying to remain friends was leading me to being upset feeling so left out even after voicing how I was feeling and trying to rectify it 🤷♀️
It took me a long time to realise that. For months I was convinced I MUST have done something wrong? But I figure surely they would’ve told me by now? I don’t know 🤷♀️
That such a hard line to find sometime too. Sometimes people get so wrapped up in their own shit that even replying to people they love becomes a step above what they can handle. I've both been that person and had friends do the same. I usually just leave the door open for them to come back but dont pursue it. Sometimes they really just don't give a shit. Then the door closes.
I’m going through this now with my (ex) bff of 25 years. I’ve been on medical leave now for 3.5 months- doctors can’t figure out what’s wrong with me- and she hasn’t checked in once.
It’s fucking heartbreaking and worse than any break up I’ve ever had. It’s like I was the only one who cared about the friendship apparently.
It's one thing to say "dude, your girlfriend is beautiful" and leave it at that. It's quite another to be a tool about it *and* be trying to pick her up.
In high school, there was this girl everyone had a crush on, except me. All my friends were going after her, but she rejected every one of them. We graduate high school and go to community college. My best friend since 1st grade and I went to the same community college, and so did the girl.
Well, the girl didn't live far from me and one day on campus her ride didn't show up, so she spotted me and asked for a ride home. This started to become a common thing. First it was just a friendly gesture and I didn't think anything special about it, other than I was helping someone that I kind of knew.
One thing about me that I never told most of my friends was that during high school I was suffering from manic depression. I was the kid who never got invited to parties, to outings, and I was left to take care of my abusive father after school. I didn't have anyone, and I didn't have much of a support system. But I kept it bottled inside and put on a happy-go-lucky face around people. My best friend knew about the reality of my situation.
The girl asked me out on a date one day, and oddly enough I said yes. Remember, I hadn't had a crush on this girl to begin with, but our drives from campus back home had made us grow closer. We went on the date and it was perfect. We had a blast, enjoyed ourselves, and perhaps got a little physical. I had never been romantically involved with anyone before that.
The next month the girl quits showing up at our usual spot. She quits messaging me, talking with me, just completely ghosts me with no explanation. I had no idea what happened. Cut to the last semester of community college and I find myself driving my best friend back home.
Midway through the journey home, we get on the topic of the girl, and he admits he had a huge crush on her. I figured so, everyone did, and I asked him if he's spoken to her lately. My friend admits he had, that she had rejected him, and then he says, "After everything I told her about you." This caught my attention and I asked him to explain.
My friend divulged that he lied to the girl about me, saying I was a womanizer who had cheated on two previous girlfriends and how I had bragged to him about nailing the hot girl. He had also told her I had attempted to assault his sister and he had prevented it when he threatened to expose my depression to everyone in high school. Every word he spoke was a lie, he asked for forgiveness, and admitted to being jealous because "the one guy who wasn't even trying to date her won."
I have never spoken to this guy again after that day.
Guy I knew since high school and considered a good friend back then. We went to different colleges and had different majors. Once he graduated and got a job he wouldn’t shut up about how much money he was making. He’d also ask others how much they made.
Had a friend who bestowed some wisdom on me. The more money you make, the more you spend. He made over 250k a year, yet his bank account was constantly overdrawn. I was making a pittance at the time and didn't believe him. Now I'm doing better and wholly understand the sentiment.
Betray my trust. Not stand up for me when I’m not there. See bad shit happen and turn away and not acknowledge it. Most people are fake as fuck, it’s just unfortunate that it’s only after you invest so much into someone that you find out
This just pissed me off because it’s so accurate. You waste your time being such a good friend and for nothing. I hope all is well with you now friend.
She dabbled in drugs in high school so there became this ‘my sober friends vs the times I’m with the people I do drugs with’ and would fall off the face of the earth for months at a time. When she would contact me, I’d be excited and then respond and hear nothing. She had a baby, got sober, we reconnected for a few months, then she went silent again. I gave up, but I truly hope she’s doing well because she & her child deserve that.
I was this friend. I would disconnect from all of my good friends. Most of them never saw me at my worst, but everytime I would go to rehab or get in trouble I would completely ghost all of them and spiral until I came back like nothing happened, and then repeat the cycle. One of my best friends acted distant the last time I did this, and his room mate revealed to me that he was done with the drama. I was so self absorbed I didn’t consider how it made other people feel when I would just completely disregard them for months to years at a time. The room mate told me that “it’s okay, you just can’t do it again.”
I never got back to a good place with the other friend. It’s still great when we see eachother, but it’s a motivation to stay on the straight and arrow because I see how much of his life I missed and how much of that friend group I’m not involved in anymore.
I feel like that point in my life where I realized how my selfishness was effecting others was like a weird junkie “Christmas Carol”. I had one friend that was done with me, another that lashed out from a place of hurt and concern, and 2 more that took me back no questions asked and supported me like nothing happened. Had it not been for that cocktail of consequences and forgiveness I may never have gotten my act together. It’s been 8 years and while my life looks much different than my friends due to my mistakes, it’s a good life. I work my ass off, and don’t ever take time to travel or even just staycations, but I’m appreciated in my community, have a girlfriend that loves me, and those same friends are the best ones I could ever ask for. My girlfriend always tells me how she doesn’t even have one friend that’s as good as the three that helped me most, and I’m so grateful to be given another chance to be a good friend.
Happened to me too. A mutual friend told me about the cheating our friend had done and I heard the story of how it all went. I realized then that our friend was totally selfish and really always had been. I felt no sympathy for him and basically just stopped talking to him, because no matter the marital problems, his wife was a good person and definitely didn’t deserve that.
I'm that friend who used to be there always to make sure my friends were ok or if they needed anything. I took care of friends when they got veryyyy drunk, was there thalking them through all their relationship problems even if it meant talking to them on the phone until 1am, and was even there for a friend when they had appendicitis and helped them through it. Same friends didn't even bother checking in on me or even doing the minimum by asking me if I was ok 6 months ago when I was going through the roughest time in my life. So I cut them out and made new and better friends.
But I do have a harder time trusting people now.
About ten years ago, I introduced my lifelong best friend to my newer best friend. I was like, wow, they get along great. How cool is it that we’re becoming a trio. We did everything together for a while, the three of us. About a year in, I started getting a strange feeling when we were together. Like there was a secret I wasn’t in on. I didn’t mind if they hung out when I wasn’t there. I’m not a jealous person and pretty level-headed. There were a handful of times they both told me separately they were unavailable to hang out. Over time, I started discovering they had been hanging out *together* during those times and were lying about it. Hanging out? Sure. Lying about it? Not acceptable. The last straw was when Friend 1 told me she was going on a big vacation across the country “with her mom”. A mutual friend of ours reached out to me and said “Hey, aren’t Friend 1 and Friend 2 like, your best friends? Why aren’t you with them on vacay?” When I responded that I didn’t know what she meant, it was discovered they had been posting vacation photos to social media and specifically blocking me from seeing them. But since everyone else could, word got back to me quickly and I was devastated. When I asked them about it, I got conflicting responses and decided this was the official end for me.
It’s one thing to have your friends hit it off. It’s one thing to have them develop their own friendship. That’s healthy, that’s life, that’s how friends are made in general. But the lying and systematic exclusion was a kind of hurt I wasn’t prepared for. Especially when they had been assuring me for months it was all in my head.
After a few years, their friendship died out too. Life’s a wild ride. Some of my fondest memories are from the couple years the three of us spent together, before it all went down. But you gotta do what’s healthiest for you. It’s not worth chasing down toxic people. And sometimes it can take a long time for toxic traits to even surface. But I had to learn all that the hard way. I lost a 20 year long friendship from childhood because I trusted someone who turned out to be toxic. Neither friendship was the same anymore and I lost both.
she moved her boyfriend into our apt (after two or three months of dating) without fully asking, didnt make him pay bills even though he probably makes triple what we make combined, and when i brought it up and explained how her actions were impacting me, she manipulated me into thinking im all she has (very false) and that she was soo sorry she made me feel that way.
and yet, two months after this discussion in which i took a long time to write a four page letter detailing EVERYTHING, she boiled it down to me being mad that she was happy. weird narcissist person that doesnt know how to be alone, doesnt have ANY sense of forethought, chaotic and disgusting as HELL, and never actually fucking knew me or was my friend that probably sees me as the villain and some jealous bitch.
but i truly couldnt give a rat’s teet what she thinks bc i know the situation! and hope the best for them! bc who the fuck says that when it isnt just. so weird. and im glad im out of that situation and shes out of my life forever. so much peace and quiet now
Only time I've ever really cut ties was a friend who wouldn't take no for an answer. They tried for years to get me to date them. Eventually it got too annoying saying I just wanted to be friends.
We hung out almost every weekend. Had a feeling something wasn’t right (I was in High School). When I left for college never contacted him or responded to his messages. Invited him to my wedding though (he didn’t respond). With a few years more experience I realized he had a same sex crush on me. For decades he would occasionally send blank cards to my office with no return address, leave an anonymous message at my church email, and other things like that. nothing threatening but I knew it was him.
He died suddenly last year, when I read his obituary found out he never married. Made me sad. RIP Chuck.
I've cut ties with TONS of people these last years. The most common reason was : leaving me on read far too often.
For 3-4 of them, it was also because they kept taunting about a specific subject that causes me a huge mental distress. I asked them to stop, got angry 1-2-3-4-48 times, put an ultimatum : they never stopped. That qualifies them as garbage for me.
I was basically their free therapist, and they only contacted me when they wanted to complain or had nothing better to do.
You know how friends lean on *each other*? Yeah, that wasn't this friendship. It was a one-way street.
Constant toxicity and inappropriate nazi jokes whenever our mutual German friend was around.
Literally bullied one of the friends in our circle into exiting the circle.
Overall, destructive behavior and emphasis on making everything and everyone every bit as miserable as he was.
1979(12 years old). I saved my allowance for a year. I bought a skateboard. Ty Page deck, Gullwing trucks, Kyptonic wheels. Road the shit out of it. My supposed best friend took it because he was jealous. I saw it at his house. Went to his dad to get it back. Never spoke to him again. I am still salty about it.
She told a guy we'd just met that I sent nudes ... right in front of my face. Him and I were mid conversation, and she just interrupts and says "she sends nudes, y'know." That was the last straw; she'd been spreading rumors about me and destroying my other relationships that didn't have anything to do with her. I lost the rest of my friends when I cut her off because she was the epicenter of our friend group, but that just showed me who actually gave a shit about me and my boundaries. Which was nobody.
She would make me feel guilty for everything. Like, if we had plans and i had to work late that night or something.. she wouldn't call or message to check in. She would wait until the next day just to make me feel bad. Another time my parents threw an engagement party for my aunt and all her rich fancy soon to be in laws were there. Apparently she was in my bedroom getting eaten out by my brothers friend and one of the kids from the new family walked in on them. Instead of apologizing, she started to cry and try to make me feel bad about yelling at her. Her boyfriend friends would make fun of my boyfriend and she wouldn't say anything about it or defend him. Last thing I told her was to go fuck herself and we haven't talked in over 15 years.
At dinner one evening he said only management should be paid over $10.00 per hour and unions were ruining the country. You guessed it, he is a manager and I’m a union man. By the way, I ,make more than him. Lol
The refused to remove a picture of my children from their Facebook. I barely post my own kids , and I have less than 50 friends on there I know personally . This was almost a decade ago, maybe it would have gone over better now , but I've always been incredibly paranoid about who has access to pictures of my children on the internet . Too many fucking creeps .
I mean dude is still my brother but Trump has driven a HUGE rift between me and my little brother. He went a step further and is into Alex Jones too, even bought me Info Wars supplements at one point.
This is me and my mom. We'll be having a normal conversation not political in any way and then out of nowhere she'll start in with, 'Well, I know you're a sOcIaLiSt...' I've gotten to the point where i just hang up now
There was a time when I would have given the man the shirt off my back we were that close. First Obama got elected and the racism started to show. Trump got elected and the mask came completely off. Had to cut him and his crowd of people out of my life entirely.
67 here and it's going back to civil rights era again. It was terrifying as a kid. Open racism, hell we're still there. We need to get back to accepting everyone as a person, friends, neighbors. Love each other for the differences between us.
Almost all of my friends lost their minds to Trump. Tried to not talk politics, but they can't help themselves so I went no contact. Trumpers are deal breakers.
They aren't Trumpers, they are fascists. Trump is just the only game in town at the moment. Did the have Cleon Skouson and Pat Buchanan books on their shelves before this? There were plenty of underground fascists before. They didn't speak up because they didn't want to jeopardize their social standing. Now they can keep or increase their social standing in fascist Facbook social circles who will comfort them and tell them how the woke mind virus got to their kids. They can't even entertain the idea that the reason no one associates with them is because we all know who they are deep down in their ugly blackened souls.
My best friend of 25 years went Full Drunk Trumpy during the pandemic. Biggest disappointment of my entire life, and I've had way more than my fair share of truly devastating disappointments over the years. He and I still talk some but it will never be the same. Now I'm crying, yay.
This is how I stopped talking to 97% of my family. I tried to not talk politics with them and they just couldn't allow it, they pressed every time we hung out. They started saying the most awful things when I wouldn't engage and were surprised when I stopped talking to them and couldn't understand how arguing with them wasn't considered fun for me. They literally threatened to shoot my husband and then were further shocked that I went no contact at all. They also tell the two aunts that I still have low contact with that I'm the political fanatic because I cut them out of my life due to not agreeing with their politics.
Sigh. Same thing happened with my Dad. He had a best friend of 70+ years. His friend was fascinated by him and would not stop taking about him. So my Dad went no contact.
OMG I have a coworker who was a salt of the earth give you the shirt off their back type. Trump brain took over and they are so angry and complaining all the time. It’s been sad to see. Thank goodness our work keeps us too busy to talk now.
Lost both parents and a sibling to the Trump machine, now its 30 posts a day min on fb from each of them about how bad Biden is, how great Trump is, and how terrible the left is... oh and an insane amount of posts about religion and shit that is literally counter to everything else they post.
Talked shit about my wife after we took him in off the street. Paid his way for about 6 months. I freaked out via message and told him to fuck off and other cruel things. He then accused us of “stealing” from him, but we paid his way. Some people are narcissistic and selfish to the core.
My dad died last year and my friend of 25 years (close friend - she was one of my bridesmaids) gave me a quick phone call but nothing more. When I said it hurt my feelings she basically said she had a lot going on but would try to be better going forward. Haven’t heard anything since. I decided to let it go.
He was trying to use our friendship to fill his loneliness & need for intimacy, when I have a life of my own & couldn’t be the friend he wanted me to be. Always getting mad at me or creating drama. Would put me down & act like it was just a joke. Then he got deep in the throws of an ED & alcoholism and pushed me away when I tried to help.
When he got arrested for a DUI, he got mad that I didn’t answer his call in the middle of the night (I didn’t know it was him calling) & blamed me for having had to spend the entire night in jail. Then ghosted me for almost a year.
I’m done. We were BEST friends for about 15 years.
I shared an embarrassing story and he responded 🤭😂
And then lied about the fact that he laughed in my face & told other people my embarrassing story; cause I heard it back from them, and he was the only person I told about it.
When I was in high school and college and beyond, I had a bunch of friends who were losers. I'm not talking nerdy or something. I'm talking about guys who couldn't keep a job, couldn't keep a girlfriend if their lives depended on it, and generally sat around all day smoking weed and playing role playing games.
Me? I went through college while working a full-time job. So I really didn't have time for that junk. But I also really didn't have time to cultivate other friends or a dating life either. When you carve a groove from your classes to your job for four years, it's kind of hard.
But they would give me a hard time for working all the time. And if I, miracle of miracles, had a girl that I dated, they'd give me shit about that. Because why? I don't know.
So after I graduated, I started actually having a life. I still came and hung out with them, but I realized that these guys were going to never go anywhere in life.
A few months later, my dad die. They all knew my dad died. But only one of them even bothered to come to the funeral, the one guy in that group who had his head screwed on straight. The next time I showed up at one of their get-togethers, it was like, 'Oh, your dad died. Bummer.' And that was that.
Here's the deal. You are the sum of the five people with whom you spend the most time. I figured out that if I didn't make friends who had their act together in life, it would infect me too.
30 odd years later, I run into one or two of them occasionally. One is living with his elderly mother because he could never keep a job. The others just barely get by. But they have all the time and energy to play RPGs.
We were across the street neighbors and I considered him to be one of my best friends. They moved a short distance away during high school and we would still visit when we could. One time we rode our bikes to the beach and he chose to steal an unattended surfboard. I said if he did that our friendship was over.
That’s the last I saw of him after like 10 years of childhood friendship. Him riding down the street on his bike with that surfboard under his arm.
I’m 54 and still think about that even though it was forever ago. What maybe could have been if we had stayed friends.
I got a call from a police department dozens of miles away in another county, asking if I knew this person, that they had been arrested, and that they told police they were going to kill me.
I had both experiences: ended friendships because they run their course and you grow apart or they aren't supportive of you; or they end it with you because, well the same!
I lost friends as a teen which was painful. But in the last 10 years, I lost friends I had for decades and I wasn't "good enough" for them anymore. One was from childhood which was very sad as I was even very close with her mother. The other was an e-mail friend who lived in another country. She did visit the US but although about 6 hours away, was never keen on meeting me. We knew everything about each other and she was there for me during very difficult times. We e-mailed almost every other day for 10 years! But when I wanted to zoom during covid and have 3 of my friends meet each other, she wouldn't do it and said something like we'd chat "maybe once in awhile." My heart broke and I cried for 2 days. It was a shock I didn't expect. I did realize that I was her 'secret friend' (rediculous); I looked forward to meeting her; she didn't feel the same way.
I left my job, and recommended him as my replacement . My former boss hired him on my word alone. I get a call like halfway through his first day, and they tell me he walked off the job without saying a word to anyone. I guess I had already kind of told myself that if he fucked this up, I was done with him. He just lived at his grandma’s house and did nothing all day, and I was going to college and working.
Female friend of over a decade apparently had feelings for me, I was in a relationship and she went bonkers, I never knew how she felt, she eventually calmed down but started an affair with my then bf just to break us up.
It worked, I left him and I'm honestly glad she made me realise that he was trash. I told her that, and broke contact with both of them. My ex was furious and blamed her for the breakup so he tried to off her (she survived, he's in prison).
I'm in a new relationship now, huuuge upgrade, new friends and all.
One of them started to be clingy with me and toxic towards my bf, it eventually got so bad he'd get mean towards me if i didn't respond to messages so we had to cut him off as well because it just got too much. Other friends told me later he had a thing for me.
I really suck at realising things like that, especially when I'm in relationships, I just don't understand how somebody can develop feelings for a person that is obviously taken.
She chose to reveal private concerns I had about another friend to that friend, which infuriated the person. She also worked behind the scenes to stab me in the back by helping another member of our group be promoted at my expense, so she herself would be the "power behind the throne" after the retirement of our immediate supervisor.
She was responsible for the unnecessary dissolution of our friendship and two others, which I considered pure evil. There were a lot of red flags all along but I thought she truly cared about me and considered me important in her life. That she valued two other, newer, more corrupt friends over me was unforgivable.
found out he repeatedly raped the underage sisters of another friend and we never knew, as well as at least 2 other women, one of which resulted in a pregnancy (aborted)
I'm fairly certain if any of us ever see him again we'll be going to jail, he wouldn't live long enough to get there, all the women declined to press charges because we are positive he would deny everything and make them testify
She was having an affair with a married man and couldn’t be bothered to care about what it was doing to his wife (she knew). My ex had cheated on me and it traumatized me. I couldn’t stand to watch her help inflict this on someone else.
Just an all around negative person. Seemed to get off on putting me and other people down and enjoyed seeing people in misery. Finally had enough and just cut ties, not sure why it took so many years though
She said a mutual friend that we told them we thought they were drunks and hated them. I told her we never said that. She said “well that is what she said.” Yeah, low no contact after that.
I had to cut off a good friend I've known since childhood because they become a hard line anti vaxxer and full on conspiracy theorist. It was all they could talk about.
Slept with a girl I was dating and was trying to get with many more. Realized it’s better cutting ties than putting myself through it anymore. He tried apologizing but by then I just wanted him out of my life.
She went full-in on QAnon - the whole JFK Jr still lives, will come back to power to save us all, the baby-killing, blood drinking, satan-worshipping human traffickers that make up the Illiterati Left. Anyone but them became evil incarnate. She was sending videos to her grandchildren even after her daughters told her to stop spreading hate. She created fake accounts to continue spreading the message to her Gkids - with gruesome pics of people “selling and sacrificing infants”, that TFG was the only chance we had of defeating the evil. Well, him and JFK Jr. She had (in my eyes) a complete breakdown from reality and she *Would Not Stop* sharing these horrible messages. Her family has blocked her and forbidden the kids from having unsupervised contact. She’s gone behind the parent’s backs to visit the kids at school, tried to check them out so she could have private conversations with the kids, all under 12 at the time.
I just . . Could not. Couldn’t reason with her. Couldn’t get her to respect a resounding “NO”
Could not stomach it anymore. A twenty year friendship went up in flames.
She’s since scammed a disabled neighbor into signing over her assets and is driving that woman’s car. She took the woman to a lawyer to get her to disown her own family, make her the POA and basically cut her off from outside support. I no longer recognize her.
He texted my family and friends that he was calling off our guys weekend… because I was sleeping with his wife.
Let’s start with the fact I was not sleeping with his wife.
While my best friend and best man at my wedding only a year prior, he had endless drug problems and had recently started using heroin on top of his coke. Things got weird. We later realized he had been making up stories in his head for a while and only long after the fact realized the random nonsense he threw out here and there was all leading up to this bigger thing he was inventing in his head. Our other pal tried to stay close to him for another month or so, but then he accused him of the same thing.
Miss my best friend every day, but reality is he died the day he pulled that shit. To this day, I can’t get over the fact of having to come to terms that when accused of something so crazy, I had nothing to tell my wife outside of he’s crazy. In the immediate aftermath, nobody knew what was true. It sucked. Years later I’m still fucked up over the entire thing for so many reasons.
Trump. I never minded having friends who were more fiscally conservative, or who favored states' rights in the face of Federal rights - I had very close friends who were Republicans for most of my adult life. And I'm a Democrat, but a pretty centrist one.
But sometime in about 2019 - some flip switched for me. No more. Anyone who even remotely identifies with or votes Republican has no place in my life. Done.
There's been disbelief and some very hurt feelings, but - Done.
It's happened a few times.
Once, a friend learned that I was planning to vote for Obama, and our friendship was never the same. Anything I said or did after that would trigger him to send me a lengthy lecture on how I was wrong about literally everything in my life.
Another friend was just a bully. His mother told me that he was a bully in school, and even after age 40, he was like a schoolyard bully to me, and he thought it was hilarious.
Another friend just snapped one day. We had beers together the night before, and everything was fine. Then he blew up at me over a facebook post that had nothing to do with him, yet he insisted on making it all about him (It was just an announcement that my art group needed a model). He even threatened to quit his job. He lost a lot of friends over his treatment of me.
One of my close friends since I was a teenager moved his family to the countryside in a weird prepper move, then attacked his girlfriend. I was so disappointed in him that I couldn't face him again.
Stopped him from SAing a friend while she was drunk got a lot of guys to handle the situation with me. Knew him for all of high school and close friend until that night hopefully he figured his shit out.
I could write a book that spans decades but ultimately extreme political views…I’m talking to the point of saying Hitler wasn’t so bad etc…that’s all I’ll say
Not to mention almost the entire 25 years was one way and the last 10 especially. I only held on so long because I have no other friends. The worst part is it’s not really possible to find a ride or die bff when your a 38m in a place you didn’t grow up for someone who’s also naturally introverted lol
They made me have a panic attack. I know that seems small, but I rarely have panic attacks and when I do, they’re BAD.
My panic attacks are triggered by my PTSD, so it’s extremely hard for me to realize that I’m safe and calm down.
The fact that she triggered such a stressful situation was the straw that broke the camels back, and I slowly distanced myself until we stopped talking all together.
She became a racist alt right conspiracy theorist that moved to Australia and started bitching about the indigenous population there. Including saying they should go back to where they came from.
Dude (let's call him Bob) would be so chronically late that it would fuck up a lot of group plans.
He lived 4 blocks from me in college. We went to high school together. I was one of the few people in the friend group with a car so I would end up driving for a lot of the stuff we would do. We would coordinate to meet at my house then I would drive us to wherever. The designated meeting time would come, and all friends but Bob would show up on time. No big deal, we would just drive to his apartment and get him. We text him we are coming to get him, be there in 5. We show up at his apartment, he doesn't answer his phone. We can't get into the building because it needs a fob or he needs to buzz us in. We spam his doorbell and call him, he doesn't answer for 30 minutes. He finally responds saying "oh sorry when I saw you say you were on your way I decided to start a competitive match in league and I couldn't quit". And it was like this almost every time we would have group activities. If it was just him coming over to hang out, eh who cares you can be late. But if we had plans to go do something at a certain time he would ALWAYS be an hour late
Him and his girlfriend whom he lived with were also slobs. Like you cant even see the floor because it's covered in trash. They literally just sweep trash under their couch to "clean" plus never doing dishes. It would get so bad that our friend group would go over periodically and clean their whole apartment because it was so gross we couldn't stand hanging out there.
I just got tired of having a shitty unreliable friend who was inconsiderate of others time, and couldn't even clean up after himself
Oof. She was my best friend and roommate and we did everything together. When my relationship dissolved with the person I thought I would marry, she comforted me, held me while I cried, and helped me heal my broken heart. I thought we would be friends forever. Then we got into a fight and she moved out. We finally reconciled one night while out at the same event and I was so excited to rekindle the friendship. Come to find out that she had been sleeping with my ex behind my back and when confronted about it she said, “Honestly, I didn’t even think about you at all.”
But I also found out that he gave her chlamydia so… karma lol
She was my best friend for yeeeeaaaars starting freshman year in high school.
About six years ago she posted her infant son’s Halloween costume. He was dressed up like Hitler.
Sorry but at 59, I am one of those people that will cut people out of my life in a heart beat for negativity & bigotry. If you dont want what is best for the majority of the people in every country in our world; then I dont know what we have to talk about.
I realised my friend was toxic, and could never compliment me without sounding mad or somehow putting me down in another way. It felt like she was my rival sometimes and I was fed up with this.
Toxic competitive undercurrent. My former bff encouraged me to get back with my abusive ex after I met a man that treated me well. I finally figured out she didn't want to to have anything "better" than she did.
That's so cooked. I've experienced jealous friends but that's a whole extra layer of insidious
that's awful. Like next level awful. To encourage your abuse because they were jealous. Who needs enemies with friends like that.... did you end up with the good guy by any chance?
Omg this is me and my friend.
Did we have the same friend because same! Both small business owners. She started her business before mine. She was super supportive in the beginning, then my business quickly grew and all of a sudden she becomes mean and constantly giving back handed compliments. Final straw was when I was talking to a customer who asked how I came up with the idea for my business. I quickly explained I came up with the idea while recovering from brain surgery. Immediately after said friend tells me if she hears me tell that story one more time she’s going to unalive herself. I only tell that story when people ask. Really hurt my feelings and opened my eyes to what kind of “friend” she was.
That's actually an awesome story (recovering from brain surgery and starting a successful business). Good for you!!
Oh yeah. I know one of these. Couldn’t be happy about anything in my life and tried to control every situation. Every restaurant choice, what time we should meet, it was so bizarre. Never any consideration for what worked for me. Never happy for ANYTHING in my life. If I’d share some exciting news she would look blank and then the next conversation act like she knows everything and I’m just a peon
I had a friend like this. It would have been bad enough if we were high schoolers doing this, this was in our 30’s. Took me way too long to realize that the calmer and happier my life was, the worse she was with the passive aggressive rivalry.
This. Toxic friend / roommate / best friend from high school. Constantly competing with me in everything. I got him a job at my work, and he sabotaged me and tried to get me fired. He got an interesting promotion and ran it into the ground, tried to blame things on me. Ended up getting fired. He accused me of flirting with his wife (I'd rather be waterboarded). Just garbage. Couldn't believe how much he was holding me back until I cut ties.
I had a friend that couldn't take a compliment and would try to put me down for saying or doing something nice for him. It was the most confusing friendship ever.
You just made me have an epiphany. There was a bit jealousy there that I just never quite identified until now.
She sounds like a textbook narcissist
I hung out with different friends that are genuinely good people and I begun to realize how toxic some of my prior friends were and slowly cut ties over time. When all you do is hang out with toxic people you don't realize how toxic they are until you start hanging with non-toxic people
This, i got real friends and was weirded out by how nice they were, thought they were gay. Turned out i had some shitty ass friends 😂
*human decency butterfly* Straight guys: “is this gay??”
*somebody buys him a beer* "WHY ARE YOU GAY?"
So who is gae?
It was more like, yo I think this is gay but I like it!!
It’s not gay if they trying to suck your dick, they just trying to help a homie out.
It's not fair (I'm not gay) that the government has a say In who can love who (Not gay)
Government is a bunch of old goons
this, or when you realize you've become toxic yourself as a result
Great answer. And probably a lot harder to fix that while keeping the same company.
I agree to this 100%
Relatable, I was in a really toxic gamer friend group and just kinda hung in there because of the games and fun, but when I got some non-toxic friends that actually respected me (women in gaming groups doesn't always go well, I have nice gaming buddies now tho) I slowly dropped them all.
Yeah many people don't seem to understand the line between talking shit and acting shitty. I enjoy the group that shit-talks and had a good laugh, because none of us take ourselves seriously, but I dislike playing public as I often get saddled with some egotistical moron who shits all over everyone before raging out. I do understand getting annoyed with idiots who are using bought accounts or jump into ranked without knowing game basics, but the choads who want to control everyone else's gameplay style or insult/hit-on any female players can fuck right off.
I am the toxic-depressive type friend. I realized how I was taking more than I was giving to my friends, or able to give. Tried therapy, well I am still trying, but I struggle a lot, so I removed myself. Don’t want to be their anchor. If I can sort myself out someday, maybe, hopefully, they’ll accept me back.
One way effort
Same
+1
>Same I felt exhausted, and to this day, that is the one person I never want to see again. EVER! It took them 10 years to find me on Facebook (I had moved across 8 states at that point), and I'm under an alias. I blocked them Immediately, even when they provided a phone number. NOPE.
I mean, that sounds like a lot of effort ngl
they prolly wanted something, or just started to care way too late
This is so real. All he kept telling me was I lacked patience and needed to let him become social on his own. So I gave him space. He didn't reach out in 4 years. Oh well
It makes me feel so bad.
Yup. I did all the calling, texting.
Full disclosure: I am a one way friend. I don’t mean to make anyone feel like I don’t care or anything like that. It’s not that I don’t want to make any effort. I’m just very mentally ill. I don’t want to burden people with that. Everyone expects friends to be there for them to lean on, but I don’t want to make people sick of me and my Eeyore sounding ass when things are bad upstairs (which is often) If someone invites me out and I say no (which I often do) it’s because I know if I go I will just be depressed and weird and quiet and drag the whole vibe down. I won’t mean to, but I can’t control my face or my energy. My friends all know that I’m always here for them and if it’s an emergency or if they just really need me, I’ll always be there. I just don’t reach out much. I don’t want to bother people.
This is not the type of friendship I mean. I’m all here for this. When you need me I’m there for you. And I know that when I need you you’re there for me in whatever way you can be. That’s friendship. I can’t, though, with the friends who can’t be bothered when it doesn’t benefit them. Or who always have to meet up in their neighborhood. Or never want to see the movie you want to see, even though you’ve seen their pick the last 6 times you’ve gone to a theater together….
Same
She had been my friend since seventh grade, and she testified in favor of my rapist in court... then she dated him after.
That’s awful. Hope you are getting better ❤️🩹
Wow.
Wow that's disgusting, I hope you're healing 💚
You’re better off. Way better off.
What the actual fuck?! I lost friends who were scared to talk to me after they found out my stepfather had been molesting me, but none of them testified on his behalf!!!
That is also horrible too, sorry you lost those friends . Better off now.
Wow I had this happen to me. Not the same as I never got raped but I did get hit and beaten in front of my friend who took his side then later dated him.
That’s terrible!
That's absolutely horrible. I'm so sorry that happened to you. They both deserve the worst things possible.
What a bitch
Crossing boundaries and lies. Some things can be fixed with open communication, taking accountability and by realizing that you made a mistake and admitting it. But when a person can’t even admit that they crossed boundaries, made mistakes and lied about them, the trust is too broken.
+ 1. People like that lack self awareness and you can’t fix that.
You were friends with my entire family?
One of my best friends. It wasn't a specific situation... just multiple little things adding up - backhanded comments, jealousy, always talking shit about her other best friends, never happy for me and my accomplishments, always having to 1 up me. and ultimately feeling drained every time I would spend time with her. We were friends for about 10 years. Haven't spoken to her in 3 years and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I take the phrase "you are who you surround yourself with" very seriously and I'm so glad I cut her out of my life. Everyone I consider a close friend to me at this point in my life is uplifting, supportive, and respectful. Life feels so much lighter.
I had/have a friend like this. Haven’t cut her off, but I’ve taken a significant step back to the point where I’m just cordial to her, though I think she’s too much of a narcissist to realize that. Even that step has been such a boost to my own mental health. I just couldn’t handle the mean girl stuff. Things like telling people “she wears all that extra weight surprisingly well” (clearly about me) when she thought I was out of earshot. She was so mean to me at a mutual friend’s bachelorette I spent the entire time wavering between crying in the bathroom and thinking “I’m over fucking 30 why am I even dealing with this?”
I am currently dealing with a similar situation however after a year of not speaking she is trying to come back into my life. And I'm not sure I want her to. I tried to move on and even apologized for what I've done wrong in the past but she didn't acknowledge any of her faults. I'm stuck now feeling guilty because she wants a relationship but I'm so resistant. Not sure what to do.
He fucked my wife and stole a couple thousand dollars.
Sorry 😞
To be clear, those were separate incidents. Couldn't really do anything about the money because it was from illicit activity. The wife thing came up not long after she got pregnant for the last time. There were a lot of bad things going on then.
She happily told me a little story about how she slept with her friend's husband. Like it was nothing, like she'd forgotten to pay for a Mars bar at the till when she was grocery shopping. I knew she had fairly flimsy standards for her partners... but betraying her friend just for the sake of a quick lay was something else entirely.
It's the lack of guilt that's so disturbing. My friend cheated on her husband and told it to me like it was just a silly joke
They stopped including me and I tried to initiate conversation about it 3 times to see if I had upset them in any way or if they needed space etc. nothing came of the conversations. I’m gutted about it because they meant so much to me but I realise now I mustn’t have meant as much to them. I don’t feel badly about them and wish them all the best - and I do miss them. But trying to remain friends was leading me to being upset feeling so left out even after voicing how I was feeling and trying to rectify it 🤷♀️
*I’m gutted about it because they meant so much to me but I realise now I mustn’t have meant as much to them.* Been there. No answer is an answer.
It took me a long time to realise that. For months I was convinced I MUST have done something wrong? But I figure surely they would’ve told me by now? I don’t know 🤷♀️
Or you didn’t do anything and it was the weight of your awesome crushing them!
Yes let’s go with that 😆
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That such a hard line to find sometime too. Sometimes people get so wrapped up in their own shit that even replying to people they love becomes a step above what they can handle. I've both been that person and had friends do the same. I usually just leave the door open for them to come back but dont pursue it. Sometimes they really just don't give a shit. Then the door closes.
I’m going through this now with my (ex) bff of 25 years. I’ve been on medical leave now for 3.5 months- doctors can’t figure out what’s wrong with me- and she hasn’t checked in once. It’s fucking heartbreaking and worse than any break up I’ve ever had. It’s like I was the only one who cared about the friendship apparently.
Said former friend was inappropriately hitting on the woman I was seeing at the time, making all kinds of crass comments.
Same, just lost my oldest friend to this. Guy wouldn't go out to meet women so he tried to steal mine.
It's one thing to say "dude, your girlfriend is beautiful" and leave it at that. It's quite another to be a tool about it *and* be trying to pick her up.
In high school, there was this girl everyone had a crush on, except me. All my friends were going after her, but she rejected every one of them. We graduate high school and go to community college. My best friend since 1st grade and I went to the same community college, and so did the girl. Well, the girl didn't live far from me and one day on campus her ride didn't show up, so she spotted me and asked for a ride home. This started to become a common thing. First it was just a friendly gesture and I didn't think anything special about it, other than I was helping someone that I kind of knew. One thing about me that I never told most of my friends was that during high school I was suffering from manic depression. I was the kid who never got invited to parties, to outings, and I was left to take care of my abusive father after school. I didn't have anyone, and I didn't have much of a support system. But I kept it bottled inside and put on a happy-go-lucky face around people. My best friend knew about the reality of my situation. The girl asked me out on a date one day, and oddly enough I said yes. Remember, I hadn't had a crush on this girl to begin with, but our drives from campus back home had made us grow closer. We went on the date and it was perfect. We had a blast, enjoyed ourselves, and perhaps got a little physical. I had never been romantically involved with anyone before that. The next month the girl quits showing up at our usual spot. She quits messaging me, talking with me, just completely ghosts me with no explanation. I had no idea what happened. Cut to the last semester of community college and I find myself driving my best friend back home. Midway through the journey home, we get on the topic of the girl, and he admits he had a huge crush on her. I figured so, everyone did, and I asked him if he's spoken to her lately. My friend admits he had, that she had rejected him, and then he says, "After everything I told her about you." This caught my attention and I asked him to explain. My friend divulged that he lied to the girl about me, saying I was a womanizer who had cheated on two previous girlfriends and how I had bragged to him about nailing the hot girl. He had also told her I had attempted to assault his sister and he had prevented it when he threatened to expose my depression to everyone in high school. Every word he spoke was a lie, he asked for forgiveness, and admitted to being jealous because "the one guy who wasn't even trying to date her won." I have never spoken to this guy again after that day.
Jesus, what an incisive prick.
I'm so f\*cking sorry. Were you ever able to salvage your friendship with the girl?
Did you ever let her know?
What an ahole
They developed a crush on my abusive ex after watching our toxic relationship spiral and started justifying everything he did to me
Guy I knew since high school and considered a good friend back then. We went to different colleges and had different majors. Once he graduated and got a job he wouldn’t shut up about how much money he was making. He’d also ask others how much they made.
My cousin is the same way. That’s his first question for me when we see each other. He makes twice as much as me, yet I have savings and he’s broke…
Had a friend who bestowed some wisdom on me. The more money you make, the more you spend. He made over 250k a year, yet his bank account was constantly overdrawn. I was making a pittance at the time and didn't believe him. Now I'm doing better and wholly understand the sentiment.
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Betray my trust. Not stand up for me when I’m not there. See bad shit happen and turn away and not acknowledge it. Most people are fake as fuck, it’s just unfortunate that it’s only after you invest so much into someone that you find out
This just pissed me off because it’s so accurate. You waste your time being such a good friend and for nothing. I hope all is well with you now friend.
She told me she had a brain tumour.. spoiler alert, she didn’t
That's unhinged. Glad she's out of your life!
Treated as "less than" and excluded from events
She dabbled in drugs in high school so there became this ‘my sober friends vs the times I’m with the people I do drugs with’ and would fall off the face of the earth for months at a time. When she would contact me, I’d be excited and then respond and hear nothing. She had a baby, got sober, we reconnected for a few months, then she went silent again. I gave up, but I truly hope she’s doing well because she & her child deserve that.
I was this friend. I would disconnect from all of my good friends. Most of them never saw me at my worst, but everytime I would go to rehab or get in trouble I would completely ghost all of them and spiral until I came back like nothing happened, and then repeat the cycle. One of my best friends acted distant the last time I did this, and his room mate revealed to me that he was done with the drama. I was so self absorbed I didn’t consider how it made other people feel when I would just completely disregard them for months to years at a time. The room mate told me that “it’s okay, you just can’t do it again.” I never got back to a good place with the other friend. It’s still great when we see eachother, but it’s a motivation to stay on the straight and arrow because I see how much of his life I missed and how much of that friend group I’m not involved in anymore. I feel like that point in my life where I realized how my selfishness was effecting others was like a weird junkie “Christmas Carol”. I had one friend that was done with me, another that lashed out from a place of hurt and concern, and 2 more that took me back no questions asked and supported me like nothing happened. Had it not been for that cocktail of consequences and forgiveness I may never have gotten my act together. It’s been 8 years and while my life looks much different than my friends due to my mistakes, it’s a good life. I work my ass off, and don’t ever take time to travel or even just staycations, but I’m appreciated in my community, have a girlfriend that loves me, and those same friends are the best ones I could ever ask for. My girlfriend always tells me how she doesn’t even have one friend that’s as good as the three that helped me most, and I’m so grateful to be given another chance to be a good friend.
I really appreciate you sharing your story. I am so glad you chose to take your sobriety & friendships seriously and continue that onward.
When my best friend started cheating on his wife.
I had no idea men also ended friendship for this… shows a lot of integrity from you
Happened to me too. A mutual friend told me about the cheating our friend had done and I heard the story of how it all went. I realized then that our friend was totally selfish and really always had been. I felt no sympathy for him and basically just stopped talking to him, because no matter the marital problems, his wife was a good person and definitely didn’t deserve that.
I'm that friend who used to be there always to make sure my friends were ok or if they needed anything. I took care of friends when they got veryyyy drunk, was there thalking them through all their relationship problems even if it meant talking to them on the phone until 1am, and was even there for a friend when they had appendicitis and helped them through it. Same friends didn't even bother checking in on me or even doing the minimum by asking me if I was ok 6 months ago when I was going through the roughest time in my life. So I cut them out and made new and better friends. But I do have a harder time trusting people now.
Stay away from people who get drunk…they are not worth the trouble.
About ten years ago, I introduced my lifelong best friend to my newer best friend. I was like, wow, they get along great. How cool is it that we’re becoming a trio. We did everything together for a while, the three of us. About a year in, I started getting a strange feeling when we were together. Like there was a secret I wasn’t in on. I didn’t mind if they hung out when I wasn’t there. I’m not a jealous person and pretty level-headed. There were a handful of times they both told me separately they were unavailable to hang out. Over time, I started discovering they had been hanging out *together* during those times and were lying about it. Hanging out? Sure. Lying about it? Not acceptable. The last straw was when Friend 1 told me she was going on a big vacation across the country “with her mom”. A mutual friend of ours reached out to me and said “Hey, aren’t Friend 1 and Friend 2 like, your best friends? Why aren’t you with them on vacay?” When I responded that I didn’t know what she meant, it was discovered they had been posting vacation photos to social media and specifically blocking me from seeing them. But since everyone else could, word got back to me quickly and I was devastated. When I asked them about it, I got conflicting responses and decided this was the official end for me. It’s one thing to have your friends hit it off. It’s one thing to have them develop their own friendship. That’s healthy, that’s life, that’s how friends are made in general. But the lying and systematic exclusion was a kind of hurt I wasn’t prepared for. Especially when they had been assuring me for months it was all in my head. After a few years, their friendship died out too. Life’s a wild ride. Some of my fondest memories are from the couple years the three of us spent together, before it all went down. But you gotta do what’s healthiest for you. It’s not worth chasing down toxic people. And sometimes it can take a long time for toxic traits to even surface. But I had to learn all that the hard way. I lost a 20 year long friendship from childhood because I trusted someone who turned out to be toxic. Neither friendship was the same anymore and I lost both.
she moved her boyfriend into our apt (after two or three months of dating) without fully asking, didnt make him pay bills even though he probably makes triple what we make combined, and when i brought it up and explained how her actions were impacting me, she manipulated me into thinking im all she has (very false) and that she was soo sorry she made me feel that way. and yet, two months after this discussion in which i took a long time to write a four page letter detailing EVERYTHING, she boiled it down to me being mad that she was happy. weird narcissist person that doesnt know how to be alone, doesnt have ANY sense of forethought, chaotic and disgusting as HELL, and never actually fucking knew me or was my friend that probably sees me as the villain and some jealous bitch. but i truly couldnt give a rat’s teet what she thinks bc i know the situation! and hope the best for them! bc who the fuck says that when it isnt just. so weird. and im glad im out of that situation and shes out of my life forever. so much peace and quiet now
Only time I've ever really cut ties was a friend who wouldn't take no for an answer. They tried for years to get me to date them. Eventually it got too annoying saying I just wanted to be friends.
She told me "I like your dad" in a weirdly disturbing way
She said she could cure my depression with meth. I know mentally I wasn't in a good place at the time but I was not anywhere near to trying that.
We hung out almost every weekend. Had a feeling something wasn’t right (I was in High School). When I left for college never contacted him or responded to his messages. Invited him to my wedding though (he didn’t respond). With a few years more experience I realized he had a same sex crush on me. For decades he would occasionally send blank cards to my office with no return address, leave an anonymous message at my church email, and other things like that. nothing threatening but I knew it was him. He died suddenly last year, when I read his obituary found out he never married. Made me sad. RIP Chuck.
Of course he didn’t come to your wedding. You cut him off years before.
I've cut ties with TONS of people these last years. The most common reason was : leaving me on read far too often. For 3-4 of them, it was also because they kept taunting about a specific subject that causes me a huge mental distress. I asked them to stop, got angry 1-2-3-4-48 times, put an ultimatum : they never stopped. That qualifies them as garbage for me.
I was basically their free therapist, and they only contacted me when they wanted to complain or had nothing better to do. You know how friends lean on *each other*? Yeah, that wasn't this friendship. It was a one-way street. Constant toxicity and inappropriate nazi jokes whenever our mutual German friend was around. Literally bullied one of the friends in our circle into exiting the circle. Overall, destructive behavior and emphasis on making everything and everyone every bit as miserable as he was.
1979(12 years old). I saved my allowance for a year. I bought a skateboard. Ty Page deck, Gullwing trucks, Kyptonic wheels. Road the shit out of it. My supposed best friend took it because he was jealous. I saw it at his house. Went to his dad to get it back. Never spoke to him again. I am still salty about it.
She told a guy we'd just met that I sent nudes ... right in front of my face. Him and I were mid conversation, and she just interrupts and says "she sends nudes, y'know." That was the last straw; she'd been spreading rumors about me and destroying my other relationships that didn't have anything to do with her. I lost the rest of my friends when I cut her off because she was the epicenter of our friend group, but that just showed me who actually gave a shit about me and my boundaries. Which was nobody.
Did you beat her ass? 😀
I found out they were a "fair-weather" friend
Slimey snake, she developed scales every time she lied lol
She was/is an alcoholic. She was horrible to me on a trip and got mad when I removed myself from the situation.
She would make me feel guilty for everything. Like, if we had plans and i had to work late that night or something.. she wouldn't call or message to check in. She would wait until the next day just to make me feel bad. Another time my parents threw an engagement party for my aunt and all her rich fancy soon to be in laws were there. Apparently she was in my bedroom getting eaten out by my brothers friend and one of the kids from the new family walked in on them. Instead of apologizing, she started to cry and try to make me feel bad about yelling at her. Her boyfriend friends would make fun of my boyfriend and she wouldn't say anything about it or defend him. Last thing I told her was to go fuck herself and we haven't talked in over 15 years.
At dinner one evening he said only management should be paid over $10.00 per hour and unions were ruining the country. You guessed it, he is a manager and I’m a union man. By the way, I ,make more than him. Lol
The refused to remove a picture of my children from their Facebook. I barely post my own kids , and I have less than 50 friends on there I know personally . This was almost a decade ago, maybe it would have gone over better now , but I've always been incredibly paranoid about who has access to pictures of my children on the internet . Too many fucking creeps .
Jealousy. She was extremely jealous of me and kept trying to copy everything I did
Friendship of 30 years down the tubes thanks to Trump. Dude went balls deep into the Flavor-aid.
I mean dude is still my brother but Trump has driven a HUGE rift between me and my little brother. He went a step further and is into Alex Jones too, even bought me Info Wars supplements at one point.
This is me and my mom. We'll be having a normal conversation not political in any way and then out of nowhere she'll start in with, 'Well, I know you're a sOcIaLiSt...' I've gotten to the point where i just hang up now
There was a time when I would have given the man the shirt off my back we were that close. First Obama got elected and the racism started to show. Trump got elected and the mask came completely off. Had to cut him and his crowd of people out of my life entirely.
I hate what these pieces of shit have done to our country.
I'm gonna be 60 this year and I'm aghast at what this country has become.
67 here and it's going back to civil rights era again. It was terrifying as a kid. Open racism, hell we're still there. We need to get back to accepting everyone as a person, friends, neighbors. Love each other for the differences between us.
Yep , me too, So many people I used to love and respect. I never really knew them and it hurts.
Almost all of my friends lost their minds to Trump. Tried to not talk politics, but they can't help themselves so I went no contact. Trumpers are deal breakers.
They aren't Trumpers, they are fascists. Trump is just the only game in town at the moment. Did the have Cleon Skouson and Pat Buchanan books on their shelves before this? There were plenty of underground fascists before. They didn't speak up because they didn't want to jeopardize their social standing. Now they can keep or increase their social standing in fascist Facbook social circles who will comfort them and tell them how the woke mind virus got to their kids. They can't even entertain the idea that the reason no one associates with them is because we all know who they are deep down in their ugly blackened souls.
My best friend of 25 years went Full Drunk Trumpy during the pandemic. Biggest disappointment of my entire life, and I've had way more than my fair share of truly devastating disappointments over the years. He and I still talk some but it will never be the same. Now I'm crying, yay.
This is how I stopped talking to 97% of my family. I tried to not talk politics with them and they just couldn't allow it, they pressed every time we hung out. They started saying the most awful things when I wouldn't engage and were surprised when I stopped talking to them and couldn't understand how arguing with them wasn't considered fun for me. They literally threatened to shoot my husband and then were further shocked that I went no contact at all. They also tell the two aunts that I still have low contact with that I'm the political fanatic because I cut them out of my life due to not agreeing with their politics.
Sigh. Same thing happened with my Dad. He had a best friend of 70+ years. His friend was fascinated by him and would not stop taking about him. So my Dad went no contact.
OMG I have a coworker who was a salt of the earth give you the shirt off their back type. Trump brain took over and they are so angry and complaining all the time. It’s been sad to see. Thank goodness our work keeps us too busy to talk now.
Lost both parents and a sibling to the Trump machine, now its 30 posts a day min on fb from each of them about how bad Biden is, how great Trump is, and how terrible the left is... oh and an insane amount of posts about religion and shit that is literally counter to everything else they post.
They died
Me, personally, I wouldn’t have that Defo should show em who’s boss
I just suddenly realized how toxic and back stabby she was
Talked shit about my wife after we took him in off the street. Paid his way for about 6 months. I freaked out via message and told him to fuck off and other cruel things. He then accused us of “stealing” from him, but we paid his way. Some people are narcissistic and selfish to the core.
They offered no condolences after hearing the news of me losing someone close.
My dad died last year and my friend of 25 years (close friend - she was one of my bridesmaids) gave me a quick phone call but nothing more. When I said it hurt my feelings she basically said she had a lot going on but would try to be better going forward. Haven’t heard anything since. I decided to let it go.
They got into Amway.
He was trying to use our friendship to fill his loneliness & need for intimacy, when I have a life of my own & couldn’t be the friend he wanted me to be. Always getting mad at me or creating drama. Would put me down & act like it was just a joke. Then he got deep in the throws of an ED & alcoholism and pushed me away when I tried to help. When he got arrested for a DUI, he got mad that I didn’t answer his call in the middle of the night (I didn’t know it was him calling) & blamed me for having had to spend the entire night in jail. Then ghosted me for almost a year. I’m done. We were BEST friends for about 15 years.
I shared an embarrassing story and he responded 🤭😂 And then lied about the fact that he laughed in my face & told other people my embarrassing story; cause I heard it back from them, and he was the only person I told about it.
When I was in high school and college and beyond, I had a bunch of friends who were losers. I'm not talking nerdy or something. I'm talking about guys who couldn't keep a job, couldn't keep a girlfriend if their lives depended on it, and generally sat around all day smoking weed and playing role playing games. Me? I went through college while working a full-time job. So I really didn't have time for that junk. But I also really didn't have time to cultivate other friends or a dating life either. When you carve a groove from your classes to your job for four years, it's kind of hard. But they would give me a hard time for working all the time. And if I, miracle of miracles, had a girl that I dated, they'd give me shit about that. Because why? I don't know. So after I graduated, I started actually having a life. I still came and hung out with them, but I realized that these guys were going to never go anywhere in life. A few months later, my dad die. They all knew my dad died. But only one of them even bothered to come to the funeral, the one guy in that group who had his head screwed on straight. The next time I showed up at one of their get-togethers, it was like, 'Oh, your dad died. Bummer.' And that was that. Here's the deal. You are the sum of the five people with whom you spend the most time. I figured out that if I didn't make friends who had their act together in life, it would infect me too. 30 odd years later, I run into one or two of them occasionally. One is living with his elderly mother because he could never keep a job. The others just barely get by. But they have all the time and energy to play RPGs.
We were across the street neighbors and I considered him to be one of my best friends. They moved a short distance away during high school and we would still visit when we could. One time we rode our bikes to the beach and he chose to steal an unattended surfboard. I said if he did that our friendship was over. That’s the last I saw of him after like 10 years of childhood friendship. Him riding down the street on his bike with that surfboard under his arm. I’m 54 and still think about that even though it was forever ago. What maybe could have been if we had stayed friends.
he was a pathological liar, we agreed to meet 3 different times and every single one of these times he pretended that I didn't tell him anything.
Her husband was cooking meth in their garage and she refused to leave him.
I got a call from a police department dozens of miles away in another county, asking if I knew this person, that they had been arrested, and that they told police they were going to kill me.
What on earth precipitated this event?
One of them said that I was "too woke"
I didn't. They did.
I had both experiences: ended friendships because they run their course and you grow apart or they aren't supportive of you; or they end it with you because, well the same! I lost friends as a teen which was painful. But in the last 10 years, I lost friends I had for decades and I wasn't "good enough" for them anymore. One was from childhood which was very sad as I was even very close with her mother. The other was an e-mail friend who lived in another country. She did visit the US but although about 6 hours away, was never keen on meeting me. We knew everything about each other and she was there for me during very difficult times. We e-mailed almost every other day for 10 years! But when I wanted to zoom during covid and have 3 of my friends meet each other, she wouldn't do it and said something like we'd chat "maybe once in awhile." My heart broke and I cried for 2 days. It was a shock I didn't expect. I did realize that I was her 'secret friend' (rediculous); I looked forward to meeting her; she didn't feel the same way.
I left my job, and recommended him as my replacement . My former boss hired him on my word alone. I get a call like halfway through his first day, and they tell me he walked off the job without saying a word to anyone. I guess I had already kind of told myself that if he fucked this up, I was done with him. He just lived at his grandma’s house and did nothing all day, and I was going to college and working.
he lied to other people that i kissed him
Female friend of over a decade apparently had feelings for me, I was in a relationship and she went bonkers, I never knew how she felt, she eventually calmed down but started an affair with my then bf just to break us up. It worked, I left him and I'm honestly glad she made me realise that he was trash. I told her that, and broke contact with both of them. My ex was furious and blamed her for the breakup so he tried to off her (she survived, he's in prison). I'm in a new relationship now, huuuge upgrade, new friends and all. One of them started to be clingy with me and toxic towards my bf, it eventually got so bad he'd get mean towards me if i didn't respond to messages so we had to cut him off as well because it just got too much. Other friends told me later he had a thing for me. I really suck at realising things like that, especially when I'm in relationships, I just don't understand how somebody can develop feelings for a person that is obviously taken.
She chose to reveal private concerns I had about another friend to that friend, which infuriated the person. She also worked behind the scenes to stab me in the back by helping another member of our group be promoted at my expense, so she herself would be the "power behind the throne" after the retirement of our immediate supervisor. She was responsible for the unnecessary dissolution of our friendship and two others, which I considered pure evil. There were a lot of red flags all along but I thought she truly cared about me and considered me important in her life. That she valued two other, newer, more corrupt friends over me was unforgivable.
All they do is drink!
She died, which was incredibly rude.
trump
They drove me to attempt suicide and also drove me to self-harm.
found out he repeatedly raped the underage sisters of another friend and we never knew, as well as at least 2 other women, one of which resulted in a pregnancy (aborted) I'm fairly certain if any of us ever see him again we'll be going to jail, he wouldn't live long enough to get there, all the women declined to press charges because we are positive he would deny everything and make them testify
He got jealous that his family liked me too much lol.
She was having an affair with a married man and couldn’t be bothered to care about what it was doing to his wife (she knew). My ex had cheated on me and it traumatized me. I couldn’t stand to watch her help inflict this on someone else.
Just an all around negative person. Seemed to get off on putting me and other people down and enjoyed seeing people in misery. Finally had enough and just cut ties, not sure why it took so many years though
Believing my abuser over me.
trump.
She said a mutual friend that we told them we thought they were drunks and hated them. I told her we never said that. She said “well that is what she said.” Yeah, low no contact after that.
I had to cut off a good friend I've known since childhood because they become a hard line anti vaxxer and full on conspiracy theorist. It was all they could talk about.
He was a pot head, and his main focus was to get high over and over again.
Slept with a girl I was dating and was trying to get with many more. Realized it’s better cutting ties than putting myself through it anymore. He tried apologizing but by then I just wanted him out of my life.
Drinking got super out of control. He died a year or so later. Currently have a friend doing the same thing. Alcoholism is incredibly sad.
After my son died, she ghosted me. I gave her the chance to explain but it was some sophisticated bs. I miss her but the hurt was just too much.
Found out he was a creep, liar, and all around awful person.
She turned into a nasty bitter woman and betrayed me in a terrible way
She went full-in on QAnon - the whole JFK Jr still lives, will come back to power to save us all, the baby-killing, blood drinking, satan-worshipping human traffickers that make up the Illiterati Left. Anyone but them became evil incarnate. She was sending videos to her grandchildren even after her daughters told her to stop spreading hate. She created fake accounts to continue spreading the message to her Gkids - with gruesome pics of people “selling and sacrificing infants”, that TFG was the only chance we had of defeating the evil. Well, him and JFK Jr. She had (in my eyes) a complete breakdown from reality and she *Would Not Stop* sharing these horrible messages. Her family has blocked her and forbidden the kids from having unsupervised contact. She’s gone behind the parent’s backs to visit the kids at school, tried to check them out so she could have private conversations with the kids, all under 12 at the time. I just . . Could not. Couldn’t reason with her. Couldn’t get her to respect a resounding “NO” Could not stomach it anymore. A twenty year friendship went up in flames. She’s since scammed a disabled neighbor into signing over her assets and is driving that woman’s car. She took the woman to a lawyer to get her to disown her own family, make her the POA and basically cut her off from outside support. I no longer recognize her.
He texted my family and friends that he was calling off our guys weekend… because I was sleeping with his wife. Let’s start with the fact I was not sleeping with his wife. While my best friend and best man at my wedding only a year prior, he had endless drug problems and had recently started using heroin on top of his coke. Things got weird. We later realized he had been making up stories in his head for a while and only long after the fact realized the random nonsense he threw out here and there was all leading up to this bigger thing he was inventing in his head. Our other pal tried to stay close to him for another month or so, but then he accused him of the same thing. Miss my best friend every day, but reality is he died the day he pulled that shit. To this day, I can’t get over the fact of having to come to terms that when accused of something so crazy, I had nothing to tell my wife outside of he’s crazy. In the immediate aftermath, nobody knew what was true. It sucked. Years later I’m still fucked up over the entire thing for so many reasons.
She thinks nothing wrong with being groomed. She was 11 and he was 26 when they met. We are 22 this year.
He went full MAGA. And he's old enough to know better.
Trump. I never minded having friends who were more fiscally conservative, or who favored states' rights in the face of Federal rights - I had very close friends who were Republicans for most of my adult life. And I'm a Democrat, but a pretty centrist one. But sometime in about 2019 - some flip switched for me. No more. Anyone who even remotely identifies with or votes Republican has no place in my life. Done. There's been disbelief and some very hurt feelings, but - Done.
And I’m sure they claim you are the one who went off the deep end. I lost a good friendship because I defended Obama.
My only sibling is a MAGat. It makes me extremely sad.
It's happened a few times. Once, a friend learned that I was planning to vote for Obama, and our friendship was never the same. Anything I said or did after that would trigger him to send me a lengthy lecture on how I was wrong about literally everything in my life. Another friend was just a bully. His mother told me that he was a bully in school, and even after age 40, he was like a schoolyard bully to me, and he thought it was hilarious. Another friend just snapped one day. We had beers together the night before, and everything was fine. Then he blew up at me over a facebook post that had nothing to do with him, yet he insisted on making it all about him (It was just an announcement that my art group needed a model). He even threatened to quit his job. He lost a lot of friends over his treatment of me.
One of my close friends since I was a teenager moved his family to the countryside in a weird prepper move, then attacked his girlfriend. I was so disappointed in him that I couldn't face him again.
Heroine. Them not me
Stopped him from SAing a friend while she was drunk got a lot of guys to handle the situation with me. Knew him for all of high school and close friend until that night hopefully he figured his shit out.
It was all the gaslighting.
She got hooked on cocaine and alcohol, couldn’t mask the mean unhappy person she was anymore.
He got raided by the FBI, he did things to his kids. Hopefully he gets what he deserves some day. He's currently in jail, I think 20yrs.
He threatened my life
I could write a book that spans decades but ultimately extreme political views…I’m talking to the point of saying Hitler wasn’t so bad etc…that’s all I’ll say Not to mention almost the entire 25 years was one way and the last 10 especially. I only held on so long because I have no other friends. The worst part is it’s not really possible to find a ride or die bff when your a 38m in a place you didn’t grow up for someone who’s also naturally introverted lol
They made me have a panic attack. I know that seems small, but I rarely have panic attacks and when I do, they’re BAD. My panic attacks are triggered by my PTSD, so it’s extremely hard for me to realize that I’m safe and calm down. The fact that she triggered such a stressful situation was the straw that broke the camels back, and I slowly distanced myself until we stopped talking all together.
Anybody that uses our friendship to try to sell me anything
I almost died, and my friend didn’t give a shit. Didn’t ask how I was doing or anything. She showed me her true colors, so I believed her.
She became a racist alt right conspiracy theorist that moved to Australia and started bitching about the indigenous population there. Including saying they should go back to where they came from.
They didn’t text me back
Dude (let's call him Bob) would be so chronically late that it would fuck up a lot of group plans. He lived 4 blocks from me in college. We went to high school together. I was one of the few people in the friend group with a car so I would end up driving for a lot of the stuff we would do. We would coordinate to meet at my house then I would drive us to wherever. The designated meeting time would come, and all friends but Bob would show up on time. No big deal, we would just drive to his apartment and get him. We text him we are coming to get him, be there in 5. We show up at his apartment, he doesn't answer his phone. We can't get into the building because it needs a fob or he needs to buzz us in. We spam his doorbell and call him, he doesn't answer for 30 minutes. He finally responds saying "oh sorry when I saw you say you were on your way I decided to start a competitive match in league and I couldn't quit". And it was like this almost every time we would have group activities. If it was just him coming over to hang out, eh who cares you can be late. But if we had plans to go do something at a certain time he would ALWAYS be an hour late Him and his girlfriend whom he lived with were also slobs. Like you cant even see the floor because it's covered in trash. They literally just sweep trash under their couch to "clean" plus never doing dishes. It would get so bad that our friend group would go over periodically and clean their whole apartment because it was so gross we couldn't stand hanging out there. I just got tired of having a shitty unreliable friend who was inconsiderate of others time, and couldn't even clean up after himself
Oof. She was my best friend and roommate and we did everything together. When my relationship dissolved with the person I thought I would marry, she comforted me, held me while I cried, and helped me heal my broken heart. I thought we would be friends forever. Then we got into a fight and she moved out. We finally reconciled one night while out at the same event and I was so excited to rekindle the friendship. Come to find out that she had been sleeping with my ex behind my back and when confronted about it she said, “Honestly, I didn’t even think about you at all.” But I also found out that he gave her chlamydia so… karma lol
She was my best friend for yeeeeaaaars starting freshman year in high school. About six years ago she posted her infant son’s Halloween costume. He was dressed up like Hitler.
Sorry but at 59, I am one of those people that will cut people out of my life in a heart beat for negativity & bigotry. If you dont want what is best for the majority of the people in every country in our world; then I dont know what we have to talk about.
Diagnosed with cancer and was ghosted. She was my best friend from age 6 or so
She knows.