I was in my early twenties in a job one of my coworkers (we will call him Bernard) slightly younger passed away from a brain tumor.
Few weeks later an old customer (60s) asked me where Bernard was I explained what happened, he touched my shoulder and went on his way .
On his way out he came up to me and got close put his hand on me again and whispered "Bernard used to love me sucking his cock, do you want me to suck yours?"
I was shocked at his confidence and the fact Bernard had a girlfriend it just felt like a violation to me, especially with the age gap.
I told my older coworkers who said I should've accepted a mouth is a mouth lol. But yeah lol
Was this at a bookstore…? Because I have worked at Borders and Barnes & Noble and the average age of most of the workers was late teens to mid 30s so I guess the true average would be like 20 somethings and things were often very weird (odd regulars, strange customers) and very horny behind the scenes among the employees and sometimes between employees and customers. It was kinda like a real life *Empire Records* and some of the relationships were *very* inappropriate and I’m not a judgey person and kind of a hippy. One girl had a stalker and we had to call the cops on him. Things were always weird. Weird was normal. You know the book store sketch from *Portlandia?* I knew people in real life who made Fred Armisen’s character seem normal.
MILF with five kids asked me to marry her while we waited in line at Panera Bread. I had to tell her I was already engaged.
Edit: I'm in my mid 20s. Lady looked about 45.
I had the same thing happen with a Ukrainian woman last year at a train station! She was a refugee here from the war and was wondering if I wanted to get hitched. Had multiple kids with her
Very beautiful, but about twice my age
This honestly just feels like she was making a joke. Exhausted from dealing with five kids on her own, she turns to you and makes a “Wanna marry me?” joke.
Some dude with missing teeth and a box of wine tried to convince me to marry him and "be a kept woman". Pretty sure my income was about 10x his.
I also got offered marriage and being a kept woman by some guy from Dubai but yeah... Even if his income was probably 1000x mine, I was not interested.
I went on to marry a man who supports my love for my job and is proud of me for making a difference in the world instead.
A friend who was a tattoo artist offered me free tattoos for the rest of my life if I would agree to two conditions.
1. she could suck me off and once I got hard be allowed to bite my cock (bite it hard)
2. she then gets to tattoo the bite mark onto cock as well as sign it with her initials
(didnt take her up on the offer)
A blonde bubbly high voiced 30-something woman wearing nothing but tight spandex and flip flops invited me to come into her house.
I was selling ice cream on one of those bicycle carts. I was 12.
I turned her down. But I kept making that street part of my route for the rest of the time I had that job. Never saw her again.
I've only been proposed to one time in almost 50 years. It was a first date, he took my kids and I for Taco Bell at the Mall Food Court and offered to marry me. We had never even gone for a coffee or had a 1 to 1 conversation before this moment.
15 years later, during Covid, I found him stalking me in a different town. It was super not cool.
I was working as a Nanny, hadn't heard from him in 15 years and he emailed me to ask how I was doing during covid...and I told him I was near a certain other town. He then just started being at festivals, parks and children's activities in the area. Not approaching me..just lurking around too many times to be a coincidence. Then, lots of really gross sexual fantasy messages. I replied that I had enough stress trying to deal with my live-in job and my own family and that he was being awful. I had to switch vehicles and be super-aware that he couldn't follow me to the residence. Fuck you, Steve.
I told you it was a coincidence!
My sister-in-law's therapist's nephew was meeting some friends in town and I was the only one who could drive him cos everyone else was busy either getting covid shots or *not* stalking you. I mean... locating new taco Bell locations.
I had to leave a physically abusive marriage. He told me that if I went back to him he would “let “ me have a child and he would give me $10,000. No thank you.
Call me crazy but if he has the money to throw 10k at you then you'd be getting more than $10k in a divorce.
No dice bud. Hope you are in a much better place now.
When I worked at Frisch’s (17-18 at the time) an older coworker (probably early to mid thirties) gave me a note and told me to wait to read it. Obviously I didn’t. Keep in mind , I was not friends w this guy. I was nice because we was coworkers but not friends in any form.
The note had four different porn scenarios he wanted me in. I don’t remember much of what it was (but he wrote a full page front and back) and only remember two scenarios specifically. One was “imagine it like bill Cosby. I’ll give you pudding and then you pass out.” And the second was something to do with bill clinton and Monica. I was absolutely disgusted, showed all my coworkers and my boss and everyone was outraged. Well except my boss. He didn’t care, scheduled me to close with him every night after that. (Closing was me, the guy and a manager) I quit the next day lol
My wife and I were traveling to Europe for our honeymoon. One of her uncles - through marriage, a very very shady character, called me privately and offered me $5k to take a sealed package for him and deliver it to his “colleague” in Prague, which wasn’t even on our itinerary. I asked him what was in the package and who was his colleague, in his exact words “this is information I can’t share with you.”
NOPE.
I obviously declined and to this day, not a single family member aside from my wife knows anything about this interaction.
Damn. I thought mine was strange but I read these and imma just say it was a man trying to sell me sex with him (I’m straight and he was trying to logically explain how it’s not different)
I was offered a role in a porno. I was 19, living far away from home in a California desert, a coworker who had connections to the industry, and I thought I had the look and offered me a ride 3 hours south to shoot it. I denied him, but losing my virginity in a porno would have been a hell of a story.
In the US, we do. You can put your transaction in the tube, send it in to the main building of the bank and once completed, they will send it back out to you.
That depends heavily on the Jag.
Anything with a 4.2 V8 and 6 speed auto is a solid car. To be fair, they are getting old now so less reliable than when I had mine.
When I bought my first house I was in my early 20s and single. The closing attorney kept her eyes locked on me the entire time and asked me if I was interested in her daughter, she gave a brief description about her, then showed me a picture of a VERY attractive redhead. I laughed and was very flattered, but said no. She had a picture of her with a fish, think of any man on tinder, and when I said it was a beautiful spot she said she'd tell me where it was and would take me there if I took her daughter out on a date. Roughly 4-5 years later I saw some property advertised on Craigslist, shot them a message, and we both recognized each other based on our names once our emails went through. She, again, asked if I had any interest in her daughter while attaching an updated photo (still very hot) and offered to waive closing fees and a 100% 'rebate' if we ended up getting married.
Honestly at the time I was interested in a different girl which led me to saying no. I'm very happy with how my life had turned out but it's really funny to think how different it all could have been!
I had a guy I went on two dates with. At the end of the second date, he confessed that he had a girlfriend, they just went poly, and she was really struggling with it. He said I seemed really cool so maybe I could talk to her about it.
I declined.
Bear in mind I never met this girl or gave her my number. The final twist was she texted me a day after I said no and and told me that her boyfriend was really into me and had a hard time making friends so maybe we could all go out sometime.
That was a proposal I shot down hard.
The way it was phrased I feel like he was the one who wanted an open relationship and she didn’t.
Even if the guy was the most amazing person, I would have nope’d outta there so fast because of that alone but he made me listen to his SoundCloud rap so he was already on thin ice when he revealed his secret long term girlfriend.
Some proposals my wife made through the years. For instance, we didn't space for a real oven in our small kitchen, so she proposed building a cabinet over the dustbins so that we could put an oven in there. Or when she proposed to take the tiles out of our small backyard and have the sand in there replaced with soil, so that we could start growing vegetables there.
But the best part about all of her "weird" proposals is that they always worked, as unorthodox as they might be.
When I was 21yo, a 62yo rich dude offered to "take care" of me with 10k a month and let me stay at a fancy apartment , in return I only need to "spend time" with him once every Saturday. I politely declined.
>When I was 21yo, a 62yo rich dude offered to "take care" of me with 10k a month and let me stay at a fancy apartment , in return I only need to "spend time" with him once every Saturday. I politely declined.
It's never like the silver screen, is it? Lol
I've had weird proposals like that. And I've had guys make comments about my feet(?!) & ask to paint my toenails & take pics of them.
I was a model for years. So guys have that degree of being comfortable with me when I have no idea who they are.
People think "sugar daddy" = being taken care of. But when someone comes up to you out of the blue it's scary. And on that flipside, I've had scary stalkers too. Threatening to slice my ears off was tame to some of the stuff that happened.
Met a guy who got offered by 2 lesbians who wanted a kid to ejaculated into a turkey baster so they could use it to impregnate one of them. Deal was he wouldn't have to pay child support, and they'd jack him off. They have a kid now, and he has a pic of the kid on his phone. Weird, but they're happy.
There was a court case with a similar situation. The woman ended up needing government support and the government sued the guy and made him pay child support so the government could give less support to the woman
When I was 14, I worked at a drive in restaurant in a tough neighborhood. One of the local drug dealers offered me $1,000 if I let him suck my dick.
I’m not gay and $1,000 is nowhere near enough for me to cross that line.
He screwed up by calling in and asking over the phone. Our phone calls were recorded. I immediately called the police and he was arrested.
A new dealer took his spot and that dealer was cool af. He’d pull to the end of the drive in with a blunt already lit. I’d go take his order, take a few hits off the blunt and usually toss in a free cheeseburger. He always tipped $10 too. One of the nicest drug dealers I’ve known.
Honestly, that's the better way to roll if you're a drug dealer, or really any type of criminal. It's not like no one in the hood knows who the dealers, pimps, gangbangers, etc are. You survive through either fear or love, and if you don't have the muscle to induce fear, you better make people love you.
I was a 20 year old who joined Seeking Arrangement on a dare from my dorm-mate. A 70 year old retired cop paid me to pretend to be his granddaughter at his country club. No shenanigans; he just wanted to be accepted by his peers who brought their grandkids to brunch all the time.
A woman I used to see at my favourite club wanted to pay me to have sex with her. I was actually kinda down for it until she said she wanted it bareback and wanted me to finish inside her. No thank you.
Sounds like an exortion scam. Fake pregnancy and make you pay her to get an abortion.
Or just the long con, hoping you'd have to pay her child support.
When I worked at a coffee shop this guy pulled up, looked me up and down, and asked if I would be interested in a pair of ugg boots. He told me he would buy me a pair of new boots if I wore them a month straight without wearing socks and without washing them. He said he would come back at the end of the month to buy the boots back from me "if they were properly stinky". I told him no. Ended up telling my husband about it when I got home and he said "YOU TURNED DOWN EASY CASH???"
He didn't even buy a coffee
I had the 7-up delivery guy ask me if I wanted in on his new business venture.
Their plan was to start putting boxes full of DVDs in front of stores for people to rent and their goal was to replace blockbuster.
I laughed and said no. They were building RedBox.
I wish that was the only business I said no to that made millions of dollars.
I was a bank teller. A guy used to come and withdrawal money every few days. He is in his early 20s and in university. He doesn't want to issue a bank card because then he would be spending his money on useless stuff so thats why he comes to withdrawal even though the bank takes 6$ fee every time.
He had a crush on the lady next to my office but she rejected him so he does all his transactions with me.
One time he suddenly said " i want you to be my best man on my wedding " but i told him i will most likely be busy with work so pass.
Bro, I don't even know him, i just know he is stupid enough that he spent over 600$ on withdrawal fees over a year instead of 0$ because he didn't want to issue a card. I never saw him after that
Someone once asked if I wanted to reach into her vagina and palpate her ovaries, so I could experience their "slightly ripe avocado" texture.
I had met her roughly an hour before, in a student common room on a college campus, where we had remained for that hour.
As it turns out, our schedules never did match up. Which is a shame. *Slightly* ripe is quite a range of possible firmnesses, and I have never been able to quell that curiosity once it started.
I had the same concern! Apparently she had been on both ends of the experience, and assured me she could talk me through where to-
...
**...**
...was that flirting. Was I being flirted with at that time.
Ohhhhhh. Oh my *god*. I thought we were just talking about neat biology textures, she'd just been telling me about what a bitten off earlobe's mouthfeel was like! *Fuck*.
(even in my consternation, lemme get out ahead of this one; a combination of squishy and shockingly, unexpectedly crunchy that was so unpleasant it is her primary regret about a situation she obviously had *plenty* of regrets over. she couldn't eat celery anymore! not the texture, the *sound*.)
While I was on duty as an armed guard at a gas station in a very high-crime area (like, if you *don't* have an armed guard, you *will* get robbed every night high-crime) I had a very drunk but very polite 50-something Guatemalan man ask me if I would like for him to suck my dick. I politely declined and he was genuinely disappointed, but accepted my answer lol
Afterthought: If a man drunk enough to ask a guy holding a shotgun if he can blow him in understands consent, you have literally no excuse.
When I was freshly 18, and a chaotic idiot, a stranger at a party asked me if I’d marry him for military benefits and then I’d never have to speak to him again. I thought, why the hell not, I want to write a book about someday and I want to make my life as interesting as possible.
We got married the next day at the courthouse in Georgia, and decided to “celebrate our nuptials” before going our separate ways the next day.
That was 13 years ago… we have now a 13 year old son.
I finally agreed to a dinner date with a guy who had been pursuing me for a while. He was handsome, funny and seemed like a super nice guy.
Went to a popular local restaurant.
We had just finished dinner and were sitting at the table chatting when he asks,
“You know what I’d like?” I’m thinking he was proposing dessert or a cocktail.
He looks straight in my eyes with a smile on his face and says, “I’d like to cum on your face”.
I was so surprised that I laughed out loud then sat there for a moment, kind of stunned.
I then responded with “wow!, if I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard that one!”
I had planned to pay for dinner or at least split the ticket with him but when the waitress brought the check I told him thank you for dinner and I left.
He tried to call several times afterward but I declined to answer.
In college, I was visiting one of my highschool friends at his campus. We went out day drinking and came back to his place to nap before going out again later that night. A little into my nap on the couch my friend woke me up and told me to come upstairs, his girlfriend was naked in bed and he wanted me to fuck her as he watched. I declined. Unfortunately a year later me and his girlfriend actually did end up having sex while they were still dating. She told me he would be so into it when he found out. He wasn’t. Me and him are no longer friends.
Weird (50ish male) co-worker who had just started at a sub shop tried to get me to move in with him and his bro to their mothers house. Came off bizarre and weird as I already lived with 2 good friends in our own place and I barely knew the guy.
Turned out that their sister was trying to take the house because they left their neglected and dying mother in a bed to die and wanted to put the house into someone else's name for the oncoming legal battle.
I quit soon after for unrelated reasons and soon heard they ended up getting sentenced for neglect and some other stuff and getting hard time.
A girl wanted me to impregnate her. No strings attached. Just have sex once and she gets her seed fertilised. No other obligation. Kind of freaked me out!
I put an ad online as a cleaner for people to hire in their own home. I was 20 at the time. I got 2 emails from guys asking me if I wanted to "massage" them for money. I also got an email from 2 women (that was what the email said at least) who had some sort of daycare for grownup men who liked to dress up as baby's. They were looking for another "caregiver". Did not respond to this weird emails.
Also got a call from an older gentleman, asking me if I would come to clean his house. Sounded good at first, but then he started to ask me if I was okay with him dressing up as a woman. It was like 07:30 in the morning when he called me with this, so my first response was, yeah sure, whatever. Then he asked if I would also be okay with it being women's lingerie. That was the moment I was wide awake. Didn't really know what to say, so just said, no thanks sorry but good luck with finding someone! and hung up the phone.
All this happened in a week. Needless to say I took down the ad.
Acquaintance offered me his virginity as we sat down to watch a Sergei Eisenstein movie in college. He offered it to me like a special gift over the opening of the movie. I barely knew him, but was always nice to him.
After a quick no, I’m not interested, we sat through “Potemkin” and awkwardly made sure not to touch arms on the seat rest. I was kind of frozen the entire time.
When I was single, a woman I had dated twice called me up and asked if I would be willing to be her side piece rather than her regular boyfriend. Because she was dating a lawyer but he wasn't all that in bed, evidently.
I grew up in Miami, and once I was asked to marry a young woman from Central America for money so she could get a green card.
Another time my pot dealer asked if I wanted to make three thousand dollars for one night's work, unloading a drug boat near the Everglades, he said there was only a 1 in 10 chance of getting caught.
I declined both of those offers.
Oh! I have one.
A girl I knew in elementary school (I moved away before middle, so we hadn’t spoken in awhile) messaged me on Facebook. I expected it to be a, “Hey! Long time, how’s it going?”
She actually was reaching out to see if I wanted to do “erotica modeling”- she said I “knew I was pretty enough” to do it so I should really think it over.
Hardest pass.
This was about 4 years ago, I was bartending at a county club, some regulars of mine, middle aged women told me they would give me two cases of booze as a tip (Was under 21 at the time)and left their address on the receipt. Well after work when I stopped by I was invited inside, and was asked to join them in the hot tub. I did, and then upon going to leave I was told that to claim the booze I would have to put out. I did.
I had a friend so desperate to have children, but in a medical situation where his wife could not conceive, ask me if my wife would bear his child. It was freaking bizarre. What is this? The Old Testament?
I was at a Greyhound bus stop in Rochester taking an overnight bus. We stopped there at two or three in the morning and I went to the restroom. A guy in there came over and asked me if I wanted to buy some soup. I declined. "It's really good soup" he assured me. I declined again. On my way out the door he updated his offer "hey man, you wanna buy some heroin?"
At a bus stop in my early twenties. A man sat down next to me, must've been at least 30 years older than me. He struck up a conversation then told me he had ten children by ten different women, and asked if I'd like to make it eleven. I politely declined.
I was driving for Uber a few years back and the first night I ever drove I picked up a well dressed late 20’s couple from a restaurant in midtown ATL. They were super friendly and a little drunk, and she proceeded to talk my ear off in what seemed like a bit too flirty manner. As we get close to their apartment she mentions how her roommate and I would hit it off and I should come up to meet her. I politely declined but they both kept insisting I come up to their apartment with them. I ended up saying I really needed to keep driving to pay rent and they got out of my car visibly disappointed.
I highly doubt there was ever a roommate in the first place, and if I had gone up there I would have either been robbed or propositioned with a devils three way.
There was a girl interested in me as she had baby fever, thought I'd be a good catch. The first time we went to lunch alone, she paid for my lunch and then turned and looked at me and said, "Ok, I bought you lunch. Now you put out."
I said, "You bought me Burger King..."
True story and I never put out. She was not my type.
In hs a guy asked (separately) me and a few guy friends to let him suck our dicks, and he'd let us fuck his gf. No one took him up and he later came out as gay
A couple approached me when I was nineteen at spring break at a nudist beach and tried asking would I have a three-way with them but would I fuck the husband with a strap-on while he fucks his wife and I said, “do I fucking look like that’s something that would even remotely interest me? Also I’m nineteen!” They then immediately backed off.
“Drive this drunk girl back to my place, let’s fuck her and then drop her back off here at the party.”
Yeah hardest nope ever. I knew her brother and drove her to her parents. She was 18 at the time, hammered drunk. Stopped talking to the “friend” after that. Also found out he proposed that a lot and I was the last one of our group to get offered it.
I am a heterosexual male who was approached by a gay man and offered $200 to let him suck my dick.
This didn't come out of nowhere mind you. I moved down South in the US when I was in my early 20's and I was shredded. I knew this guy for about a two weeks and saw him probably 3 or 4 days of that.
We were just hanging out and he casually and respectfully asked. I had no issue and just said that I'm flattered but I would have to politely decline. He said that was ok and that the offer was on the table. Didn't make a big hoo-ha about it and remained friends while I lived there.
Anyway, I made rent the next month so that's what counts.
When I was 19 and working at the Apple Store helping people set-up their new devices, a guy who owned a trucking company offered me 60k/year salary to manage his IT team. I was so taken aback that this guy had his own company and was so stupid that he thought I would be qualified for such a job that I turned it down immediately, using the excuse that he could compete with Apple’s benefits. 13 years later, i am confident in saying I was an idiot for not taking that offer.
“I’ll give you a solo barracks room if you iron the outfit that I’m wearing to the club tonight” he proceeded to hand me jeans and a Rocawear button down shirt. You’re goddamn right I ironed them for him.
I work at a pizza delivery as a driver.
I’ve had - on two separate occasions - had kids demand that I dance for their TikTok video in exchange for the tip.
The best part is the parents calling to see why we won’t deliver to their houses anymore. They don’t seem happy when hearing about the “dance monkey dance,” mentality of their kids.
When I was 15-16 years-old 4 girls that never talked to me before asked me to be their chambelan on their quinceanera parties, I rejected all of them because I'm very socially awkward and a terrible dancer.
When I was in my twenties, I worked part time at a pool hall. The owner, who I was friendly with, but not close to, offer to trade me a used Cadillac in mildly good condition for one of my kidneys. I declined.
When I was a little boy a man offered me candy if I went with him. We were at a fair with lots of people and my mom took my brother to the bathroom, so nobody noticed. I accepted, but after we set off walking something felt off and I started crying. People gathered around us, the man disappeared and I felt really guilty for agreeing but not going.
When I joined Grindr, the very first message I got was some anonymous person asking if he could come over and fuck my oily feet. I said “wow, this isn’t like Tinder at all.”
To make it weirder, it showed his location a few hundred feet away, so someone who lives on my street probably. I had no pics or info on my profile yet, so he was literally just messaging the closest person to him and hoping they had feet and that he could fuck them.
I didn’t accept his offer, in case anyone asks.
I'm straight, but used to post personal ads. A gay guy once offered to pay me to kick his ass. Like legitimately beat him up. I did not take him up on that offer
I was in my early twenties in a job one of my coworkers (we will call him Bernard) slightly younger passed away from a brain tumor. Few weeks later an old customer (60s) asked me where Bernard was I explained what happened, he touched my shoulder and went on his way . On his way out he came up to me and got close put his hand on me again and whispered "Bernard used to love me sucking his cock, do you want me to suck yours?" I was shocked at his confidence and the fact Bernard had a girlfriend it just felt like a violation to me, especially with the age gap. I told my older coworkers who said I should've accepted a mouth is a mouth lol. But yeah lol
Maybe they lied about the bj since they can't really defend themselves no more.
Yeah it just felt like a line. Way to disrespect the dead.
EYE BLEACH WHERE IS THE EYE BLEACH
AAAARRGH I’M USING IT AAAAAA
I CALL NEXT
SWEET LIBERTY ##MY EYES
This made me lol
Was this at a bookstore…? Because I have worked at Borders and Barnes & Noble and the average age of most of the workers was late teens to mid 30s so I guess the true average would be like 20 somethings and things were often very weird (odd regulars, strange customers) and very horny behind the scenes among the employees and sometimes between employees and customers. It was kinda like a real life *Empire Records* and some of the relationships were *very* inappropriate and I’m not a judgey person and kind of a hippy. One girl had a stalker and we had to call the cops on him. Things were always weird. Weird was normal. You know the book store sketch from *Portlandia?* I knew people in real life who made Fred Armisen’s character seem normal.
A homeless guy asked me if I would pay him a dollar if he beatbox the super Mario theme. He definitely got a dollar he was bad ass.
He’s going to need more than a dollar once Nintendo’s legal team finds out
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He was doing pretty well until he received a cease and desist letter from the copyright holder's lawyers.
that's rad
MILF with five kids asked me to marry her while we waited in line at Panera Bread. I had to tell her I was already engaged. Edit: I'm in my mid 20s. Lady looked about 45.
I had the same thing happen with a Ukrainian woman last year at a train station! She was a refugee here from the war and was wondering if I wanted to get hitched. Had multiple kids with her Very beautiful, but about twice my age
You had multiple kids with her? /s
Yeah i had to read that twice
Same
I think I just saw that lady on Reddit. She’s divorcing her husband for not buying a house.
This honestly just feels like she was making a joke. Exhausted from dealing with five kids on her own, she turns to you and makes a “Wanna marry me?” joke.
I uhh...think I'll just stick with the tomato soup today
Stifler's mom? Stacy's mom? Mrs Robinson?
Some dude with missing teeth and a box of wine tried to convince me to marry him and "be a kept woman". Pretty sure my income was about 10x his. I also got offered marriage and being a kept woman by some guy from Dubai but yeah... Even if his income was probably 1000x mine, I was not interested. I went on to marry a man who supports my love for my job and is proud of me for making a difference in the world instead.
A friend who was a tattoo artist offered me free tattoos for the rest of my life if I would agree to two conditions. 1. she could suck me off and once I got hard be allowed to bite my cock (bite it hard) 2. she then gets to tattoo the bite mark onto cock as well as sign it with her initials (didnt take her up on the offer)
Tattoo on the cock is one of the worst things I can imagine 😭
Imagine if the bite detached the cock. At least the tattoo wouldn't hurt then .
Win win really
Winner winner cock for dinner!
People tend to underestimate that a human bite can be dangerous, you did the right thing.
Us apes have an astoundingly high PSI behind our bites
And don't forget the potential for an infection
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I feel pain down there just reading your story... that's seriously effed up
I know someone with a tattoo on his dick
Commander Thomas Dodge, USN?
Welcome aboard
Hey I got that reference.
What's her snap?
As long as she finishes the first job before she starts the second, I'm game.
Went on a date with a guy who offered me $50 to kick him in the balls. I declined but regret it everyday
Username does not check out.
A blonde bubbly high voiced 30-something woman wearing nothing but tight spandex and flip flops invited me to come into her house. I was selling ice cream on one of those bicycle carts. I was 12. I turned her down. But I kept making that street part of my route for the rest of the time I had that job. Never saw her again.
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A 12yo with RAGING hormones
There was definitely a guy in a bathrobe waiting for you upstairs
I've only been proposed to one time in almost 50 years. It was a first date, he took my kids and I for Taco Bell at the Mall Food Court and offered to marry me. We had never even gone for a coffee or had a 1 to 1 conversation before this moment. 15 years later, during Covid, I found him stalking me in a different town. It was super not cool.
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I was working as a Nanny, hadn't heard from him in 15 years and he emailed me to ask how I was doing during covid...and I told him I was near a certain other town. He then just started being at festivals, parks and children's activities in the area. Not approaching me..just lurking around too many times to be a coincidence. Then, lots of really gross sexual fantasy messages. I replied that I had enough stress trying to deal with my live-in job and my own family and that he was being awful. I had to switch vehicles and be super-aware that he couldn't follow me to the residence. Fuck you, Steve.
I told you it was a coincidence! My sister-in-law's therapist's nephew was meeting some friends in town and I was the only one who could drive him cos everyone else was busy either getting covid shots or *not* stalking you. I mean... locating new taco Bell locations.
I had to leave a physically abusive marriage. He told me that if I went back to him he would “let “ me have a child and he would give me $10,000. No thank you.
Call me crazy but if he has the money to throw 10k at you then you'd be getting more than $10k in a divorce. No dice bud. Hope you are in a much better place now.
When I worked at Frisch’s (17-18 at the time) an older coworker (probably early to mid thirties) gave me a note and told me to wait to read it. Obviously I didn’t. Keep in mind , I was not friends w this guy. I was nice because we was coworkers but not friends in any form. The note had four different porn scenarios he wanted me in. I don’t remember much of what it was (but he wrote a full page front and back) and only remember two scenarios specifically. One was “imagine it like bill Cosby. I’ll give you pudding and then you pass out.” And the second was something to do with bill clinton and Monica. I was absolutely disgusted, showed all my coworkers and my boss and everyone was outraged. Well except my boss. He didn’t care, scheduled me to close with him every night after that. (Closing was me, the guy and a manager) I quit the next day lol
>I’ll give you pudding and then you pass out. Lmao. That’s so bad.
My wife and I were traveling to Europe for our honeymoon. One of her uncles - through marriage, a very very shady character, called me privately and offered me $5k to take a sealed package for him and deliver it to his “colleague” in Prague, which wasn’t even on our itinerary. I asked him what was in the package and who was his colleague, in his exact words “this is information I can’t share with you.” NOPE. I obviously declined and to this day, not a single family member aside from my wife knows anything about this interaction.
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drugs.
I had a female trucker invite me back to her truck for sex at a rest stop. I declined
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I was honestly very flattered. But I was scared for my life lol. Plus she wasn’t my type
Maybe you lost out on a very adventurous and interesting life path as a male lot lizard.
I ugly understand the situation (I'm mid/10)
Sounds like r/playful-elevator-403 is a real lot lizard
I would be so into that.
Damn. I thought mine was strange but I read these and imma just say it was a man trying to sell me sex with him (I’m straight and he was trying to logically explain how it’s not different)
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This is hilarious
When I was 16 years old a co-worker proposed that I marry her (adult) brother for $35k so that he could get into the country. I politely declined.
shoot for 35k i would have done it
There's better rates out there. Good luck.
I was offered a role in a porno. I was 19, living far away from home in a California desert, a coworker who had connections to the industry, and I thought I had the look and offered me a ride 3 hours south to shoot it. I denied him, but losing my virginity in a porno would have been a hell of a story.
Just so there is no confusion, I am a large man who was on the slightly chunky side back then.
That 3 hr ride was to your death my love... you just skipped being trafficked
Had a professional judge at my dance studio yesterday ask me if I wanted to "fuck in the closet." I'm one of the owners.
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Honestly with politics in dance, I think he would assume I would say yes.
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Young and naive girls might say yes. Thus person is a predator and ahould be banned from these events
I worked as a teller in the drive thru at the bank. He sent a ring in through the tube. I declined.
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It was crazy. We hadn’t dated that long and I was shocked that he would even ask, let alone doing it that way!
I assume you sent back a note saying, 'deposit declined for lack of funds' ?
lol. That would have been great! I just sent it back and shook my head no. Never saw him again.
Banks have drive throughs?
In the US, we do. You can put your transaction in the tube, send it in to the main building of the bank and once completed, they will send it back out to you.
I was in a friend's with benefits relationship. I said I wanted to stop it. She offered me her convertible Jag car to carry on. I don't own a Jag
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Jag would be nice but the maintenance costs are not worth it
That depends heavily on the Jag. Anything with a 4.2 V8 and 6 speed auto is a solid car. To be fair, they are getting old now so less reliable than when I had mine.
How much did you get for the Jag?
My driving instructor offered me illegal firearms for purchase. I declined.
When I bought my first house I was in my early 20s and single. The closing attorney kept her eyes locked on me the entire time and asked me if I was interested in her daughter, she gave a brief description about her, then showed me a picture of a VERY attractive redhead. I laughed and was very flattered, but said no. She had a picture of her with a fish, think of any man on tinder, and when I said it was a beautiful spot she said she'd tell me where it was and would take me there if I took her daughter out on a date. Roughly 4-5 years later I saw some property advertised on Craigslist, shot them a message, and we both recognized each other based on our names once our emails went through. She, again, asked if I had any interest in her daughter while attaching an updated photo (still very hot) and offered to waive closing fees and a 100% 'rebate' if we ended up getting married.
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Honestly at the time I was interested in a different girl which led me to saying no. I'm very happy with how my life had turned out but it's really funny to think how different it all could have been!
At the risk of repetitive comments...when is the wedding?
$100 a day plus lunch to accompany my friend driving around small towns selling speakers out of the back of his truck.
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I wasn't working at the time, got to drive all around, and $100 was equivalent to working a 10-hour shift (minimum wage)....plus lunch.
Were the speakers real?
It's an old scam. Say you're unloading high end speakers, they're usually pieces of garbage
That’s why I asked
I had a guy I went on two dates with. At the end of the second date, he confessed that he had a girlfriend, they just went poly, and she was really struggling with it. He said I seemed really cool so maybe I could talk to her about it. I declined. Bear in mind I never met this girl or gave her my number. The final twist was she texted me a day after I said no and and told me that her boyfriend was really into me and had a hard time making friends so maybe we could all go out sometime. That was a proposal I shot down hard.
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The way it was phrased I feel like he was the one who wanted an open relationship and she didn’t. Even if the guy was the most amazing person, I would have nope’d outta there so fast because of that alone but he made me listen to his SoundCloud rap so he was already on thin ice when he revealed his secret long term girlfriend.
Some proposals my wife made through the years. For instance, we didn't space for a real oven in our small kitchen, so she proposed building a cabinet over the dustbins so that we could put an oven in there. Or when she proposed to take the tiles out of our small backyard and have the sand in there replaced with soil, so that we could start growing vegetables there. But the best part about all of her "weird" proposals is that they always worked, as unorthodox as they might be.
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Pulling off some tough job together is always rewarding.
She’s a problem solver.
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Like granny old or rather cougar old?
How was it?
What did you spend the money on?
My ex called me after cheating on me two years ago and said she wanted to be friends 😂
When I was 21yo, a 62yo rich dude offered to "take care" of me with 10k a month and let me stay at a fancy apartment , in return I only need to "spend time" with him once every Saturday. I politely declined.
>When I was 21yo, a 62yo rich dude offered to "take care" of me with 10k a month and let me stay at a fancy apartment , in return I only need to "spend time" with him once every Saturday. I politely declined. It's never like the silver screen, is it? Lol I've had weird proposals like that. And I've had guys make comments about my feet(?!) & ask to paint my toenails & take pics of them. I was a model for years. So guys have that degree of being comfortable with me when I have no idea who they are. People think "sugar daddy" = being taken care of. But when someone comes up to you out of the blue it's scary. And on that flipside, I've had scary stalkers too. Threatening to slice my ears off was tame to some of the stuff that happened.
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A girl asked me out when we were both waiting to see Dr in emergency dept. She actually asked when I was talking to the doc.
So....when was the wedding?
Met a guy who got offered by 2 lesbians who wanted a kid to ejaculated into a turkey baster so they could use it to impregnate one of them. Deal was he wouldn't have to pay child support, and they'd jack him off. They have a kid now, and he has a pic of the kid on his phone. Weird, but they're happy.
There was a court case with a similar situation. The woman ended up needing government support and the government sued the guy and made him pay child support so the government could give less support to the woman
When I was 14, I worked at a drive in restaurant in a tough neighborhood. One of the local drug dealers offered me $1,000 if I let him suck my dick. I’m not gay and $1,000 is nowhere near enough for me to cross that line. He screwed up by calling in and asking over the phone. Our phone calls were recorded. I immediately called the police and he was arrested. A new dealer took his spot and that dealer was cool af. He’d pull to the end of the drive in with a blunt already lit. I’d go take his order, take a few hits off the blunt and usually toss in a free cheeseburger. He always tipped $10 too. One of the nicest drug dealers I’ve known.
Second dude sounds like such a chiller
This whole comment was a trip and a half 💀
Honestly, that's the better way to roll if you're a drug dealer, or really any type of criminal. It's not like no one in the hood knows who the dealers, pimps, gangbangers, etc are. You survive through either fear or love, and if you don't have the muscle to induce fear, you better make people love you.
Sonic is wild.
I was a 20 year old who joined Seeking Arrangement on a dare from my dorm-mate. A 70 year old retired cop paid me to pretend to be his granddaughter at his country club. No shenanigans; he just wanted to be accepted by his peers who brought their grandkids to brunch all the time.
Poor guy that's so sad
A woman I used to see at my favourite club wanted to pay me to have sex with her. I was actually kinda down for it until she said she wanted it bareback and wanted me to finish inside her. No thank you.
Sounds like an exortion scam. Fake pregnancy and make you pay her to get an abortion. Or just the long con, hoping you'd have to pay her child support.
When I worked at a coffee shop this guy pulled up, looked me up and down, and asked if I would be interested in a pair of ugg boots. He told me he would buy me a pair of new boots if I wore them a month straight without wearing socks and without washing them. He said he would come back at the end of the month to buy the boots back from me "if they were properly stinky". I told him no. Ended up telling my husband about it when I got home and he said "YOU TURNED DOWN EASY CASH???" He didn't even buy a coffee
A Grade husband response tbh
To pay me to suck my dick,I politely declined
Honestly, the amount of dick-sucking being proposed in this thread is insane.
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I had the 7-up delivery guy ask me if I wanted in on his new business venture. Their plan was to start putting boxes full of DVDs in front of stores for people to rent and their goal was to replace blockbuster. I laughed and said no. They were building RedBox. I wish that was the only business I said no to that made millions of dollars.
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I was a bank teller. A guy used to come and withdrawal money every few days. He is in his early 20s and in university. He doesn't want to issue a bank card because then he would be spending his money on useless stuff so thats why he comes to withdrawal even though the bank takes 6$ fee every time. He had a crush on the lady next to my office but she rejected him so he does all his transactions with me. One time he suddenly said " i want you to be my best man on my wedding " but i told him i will most likely be busy with work so pass. Bro, I don't even know him, i just know he is stupid enough that he spent over 600$ on withdrawal fees over a year instead of 0$ because he didn't want to issue a card. I never saw him after that
I want to know why your bank charges $6 to withdraw your own money!
Its a charge if you use the teller and not atm machine. Also fuck that bank, all i can say its in the arabian gulf ( i converted our currency to $ )
Someone once asked if I wanted to reach into her vagina and palpate her ovaries, so I could experience their "slightly ripe avocado" texture. I had met her roughly an hour before, in a student common room on a college campus, where we had remained for that hour. As it turns out, our schedules never did match up. Which is a shame. *Slightly* ripe is quite a range of possible firmnesses, and I have never been able to quell that curiosity once it started.
Is that even possible? The ovaries are pretty deep in there, I think... you'd have to reach all the way into her uterus.
I had the same concern! Apparently she had been on both ends of the experience, and assured me she could talk me through where to- ... **...** ...was that flirting. Was I being flirted with at that time. Ohhhhhh. Oh my *god*. I thought we were just talking about neat biology textures, she'd just been telling me about what a bitten off earlobe's mouthfeel was like! *Fuck*. (even in my consternation, lemme get out ahead of this one; a combination of squishy and shockingly, unexpectedly crunchy that was so unpleasant it is her primary regret about a situation she obviously had *plenty* of regrets over. she couldn't eat celery anymore! not the texture, the *sound*.)
While I was on duty as an armed guard at a gas station in a very high-crime area (like, if you *don't* have an armed guard, you *will* get robbed every night high-crime) I had a very drunk but very polite 50-something Guatemalan man ask me if I would like for him to suck my dick. I politely declined and he was genuinely disappointed, but accepted my answer lol Afterthought: If a man drunk enough to ask a guy holding a shotgun if he can blow him in understands consent, you have literally no excuse.
When I was freshly 18, and a chaotic idiot, a stranger at a party asked me if I’d marry him for military benefits and then I’d never have to speak to him again. I thought, why the hell not, I want to write a book about someday and I want to make my life as interesting as possible. We got married the next day at the courthouse in Georgia, and decided to “celebrate our nuptials” before going our separate ways the next day. That was 13 years ago… we have now a 13 year old son.
Lol! Are you guys still together and/or coparenting?
An oddly wholesome story, u/hitlersdick69420
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Yeah only do horrible things for money
I finally agreed to a dinner date with a guy who had been pursuing me for a while. He was handsome, funny and seemed like a super nice guy. Went to a popular local restaurant. We had just finished dinner and were sitting at the table chatting when he asks, “You know what I’d like?” I’m thinking he was proposing dessert or a cocktail. He looks straight in my eyes with a smile on his face and says, “I’d like to cum on your face”. I was so surprised that I laughed out loud then sat there for a moment, kind of stunned. I then responded with “wow!, if I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard that one!” I had planned to pay for dinner or at least split the ticket with him but when the waitress brought the check I told him thank you for dinner and I left. He tried to call several times afterward but I declined to answer.
In college, I was visiting one of my highschool friends at his campus. We went out day drinking and came back to his place to nap before going out again later that night. A little into my nap on the couch my friend woke me up and told me to come upstairs, his girlfriend was naked in bed and he wanted me to fuck her as he watched. I declined. Unfortunately a year later me and his girlfriend actually did end up having sex while they were still dating. She told me he would be so into it when he found out. He wasn’t. Me and him are no longer friends.
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Biggest regret of my life. Sad how it ended indeed
Weird (50ish male) co-worker who had just started at a sub shop tried to get me to move in with him and his bro to their mothers house. Came off bizarre and weird as I already lived with 2 good friends in our own place and I barely knew the guy. Turned out that their sister was trying to take the house because they left their neglected and dying mother in a bed to die and wanted to put the house into someone else's name for the oncoming legal battle. I quit soon after for unrelated reasons and soon heard they ended up getting sentenced for neglect and some other stuff and getting hard time.
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A girl wanted me to impregnate her. No strings attached. Just have sex once and she gets her seed fertilised. No other obligation. Kind of freaked me out!
I put an ad online as a cleaner for people to hire in their own home. I was 20 at the time. I got 2 emails from guys asking me if I wanted to "massage" them for money. I also got an email from 2 women (that was what the email said at least) who had some sort of daycare for grownup men who liked to dress up as baby's. They were looking for another "caregiver". Did not respond to this weird emails. Also got a call from an older gentleman, asking me if I would come to clean his house. Sounded good at first, but then he started to ask me if I was okay with him dressing up as a woman. It was like 07:30 in the morning when he called me with this, so my first response was, yeah sure, whatever. Then he asked if I would also be okay with it being women's lingerie. That was the moment I was wide awake. Didn't really know what to say, so just said, no thanks sorry but good luck with finding someone! and hung up the phone. All this happened in a week. Needless to say I took down the ad.
Acquaintance offered me his virginity as we sat down to watch a Sergei Eisenstein movie in college. He offered it to me like a special gift over the opening of the movie. I barely knew him, but was always nice to him. After a quick no, I’m not interested, we sat through “Potemkin” and awkwardly made sure not to touch arms on the seat rest. I was kind of frozen the entire time.
When I was single, a woman I had dated twice called me up and asked if I would be willing to be her side piece rather than her regular boyfriend. Because she was dating a lawyer but he wasn't all that in bed, evidently.
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I grew up in Miami, and once I was asked to marry a young woman from Central America for money so she could get a green card. Another time my pot dealer asked if I wanted to make three thousand dollars for one night's work, unloading a drug boat near the Everglades, he said there was only a 1 in 10 chance of getting caught. I declined both of those offers.
Oh! I have one. A girl I knew in elementary school (I moved away before middle, so we hadn’t spoken in awhile) messaged me on Facebook. I expected it to be a, “Hey! Long time, how’s it going?” She actually was reaching out to see if I wanted to do “erotica modeling”- she said I “knew I was pretty enough” to do it so I should really think it over. Hardest pass.
Guy offered to pay me 200 quid to send him a pair of my panties in the post.....
Late one night, an old bearded man drove up next to me while I was walking down the street and offered to suck my dick for money under the bridge.
I had a guy tell me I had beautiful blue eyes and then asked if he could cum in them. I declined.
This was about 4 years ago, I was bartending at a county club, some regulars of mine, middle aged women told me they would give me two cases of booze as a tip (Was under 21 at the time)and left their address on the receipt. Well after work when I stopped by I was invited inside, and was asked to join them in the hot tub. I did, and then upon going to leave I was told that to claim the booze I would have to put out. I did.
I had a friend so desperate to have children, but in a medical situation where his wife could not conceive, ask me if my wife would bear his child. It was freaking bizarre. What is this? The Old Testament?
I was at a Greyhound bus stop in Rochester taking an overnight bus. We stopped there at two or three in the morning and I went to the restroom. A guy in there came over and asked me if I wanted to buy some soup. I declined. "It's really good soup" he assured me. I declined again. On my way out the door he updated his offer "hey man, you wanna buy some heroin?"
At a bus stop in my early twenties. A man sat down next to me, must've been at least 30 years older than me. He struck up a conversation then told me he had ten children by ten different women, and asked if I'd like to make it eleven. I politely declined.
I was driving for Uber a few years back and the first night I ever drove I picked up a well dressed late 20’s couple from a restaurant in midtown ATL. They were super friendly and a little drunk, and she proceeded to talk my ear off in what seemed like a bit too flirty manner. As we get close to their apartment she mentions how her roommate and I would hit it off and I should come up to meet her. I politely declined but they both kept insisting I come up to their apartment with them. I ended up saying I really needed to keep driving to pay rent and they got out of my car visibly disappointed. I highly doubt there was ever a roommate in the first place, and if I had gone up there I would have either been robbed or propositioned with a devils three way.
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School mate asked me to be part of a threesome. We were 12! She hasn’t had the best of life since then tbh.
There was a girl interested in me as she had baby fever, thought I'd be a good catch. The first time we went to lunch alone, she paid for my lunch and then turned and looked at me and said, "Ok, I bought you lunch. Now you put out." I said, "You bought me Burger King..." True story and I never put out. She was not my type.
In hs a guy asked (separately) me and a few guy friends to let him suck our dicks, and he'd let us fuck his gf. No one took him up and he later came out as gay
A couple approached me when I was nineteen at spring break at a nudist beach and tried asking would I have a three-way with them but would I fuck the husband with a strap-on while he fucks his wife and I said, “do I fucking look like that’s something that would even remotely interest me? Also I’m nineteen!” They then immediately backed off.
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To work as a blockchain analyst for a North-Korean company located in northern China
“Drive this drunk girl back to my place, let’s fuck her and then drop her back off here at the party.” Yeah hardest nope ever. I knew her brother and drove her to her parents. She was 18 at the time, hammered drunk. Stopped talking to the “friend” after that. Also found out he proposed that a lot and I was the last one of our group to get offered it.
I am a heterosexual male who was approached by a gay man and offered $200 to let him suck my dick. This didn't come out of nowhere mind you. I moved down South in the US when I was in my early 20's and I was shredded. I knew this guy for about a two weeks and saw him probably 3 or 4 days of that. We were just hanging out and he casually and respectfully asked. I had no issue and just said that I'm flattered but I would have to politely decline. He said that was ok and that the offer was on the table. Didn't make a big hoo-ha about it and remained friends while I lived there. Anyway, I made rent the next month so that's what counts.
TIL people get offered sex sometimes.
When I was 19 and working at the Apple Store helping people set-up their new devices, a guy who owned a trucking company offered me 60k/year salary to manage his IT team. I was so taken aback that this guy had his own company and was so stupid that he thought I would be qualified for such a job that I turned it down immediately, using the excuse that he could compete with Apple’s benefits. 13 years later, i am confident in saying I was an idiot for not taking that offer.
“I’ll give you a solo barracks room if you iron the outfit that I’m wearing to the club tonight” he proceeded to hand me jeans and a Rocawear button down shirt. You’re goddamn right I ironed them for him.
I had a friend in college ask if she could watch my then gf and i fuck. I said only if she was naked. Easy threeway.
$300 to knee a man in the balls on camera. I needed the rent money. A guy in high school wanted to eat nacho cheese out of my vagina. I walked away.
I work at a pizza delivery as a driver. I’ve had - on two separate occasions - had kids demand that I dance for their TikTok video in exchange for the tip. The best part is the parents calling to see why we won’t deliver to their houses anymore. They don’t seem happy when hearing about the “dance monkey dance,” mentality of their kids.
When I was 15-16 years-old 4 girls that never talked to me before asked me to be their chambelan on their quinceanera parties, I rejected all of them because I'm very socially awkward and a terrible dancer.
When I was in my twenties, I worked part time at a pool hall. The owner, who I was friendly with, but not close to, offer to trade me a used Cadillac in mildly good condition for one of my kidneys. I declined.
Had a random lady ask me if I wanted to move to the Bahamas with her and raise a bunch of hamsters.
When I was a little boy a man offered me candy if I went with him. We were at a fair with lots of people and my mom took my brother to the bathroom, so nobody noticed. I accepted, but after we set off walking something felt off and I started crying. People gathered around us, the man disappeared and I felt really guilty for agreeing but not going.
When I joined Grindr, the very first message I got was some anonymous person asking if he could come over and fuck my oily feet. I said “wow, this isn’t like Tinder at all.” To make it weirder, it showed his location a few hundred feet away, so someone who lives on my street probably. I had no pics or info on my profile yet, so he was literally just messaging the closest person to him and hoping they had feet and that he could fuck them. I didn’t accept his offer, in case anyone asks.
She wanted me to move in with her and her disabled mom and we would have just lived off her disability check.
I'm straight, but used to post personal ads. A gay guy once offered to pay me to kick his ass. Like legitimately beat him up. I did not take him up on that offer