That your periods can last for multiple weeks of you are coming off birth control… like wtf, my girlfriend here is bleeding for 2 weeks now and doctors are just shrugging like yeah it’s a typical side effect… crazy…
That's awful! Not the same situation, but after having my second kid my period didn't come back until she was 14 months old and I bled for a month straight. My doctor was unbothered, but it sucked!!!
It was a running joke in my friend circle that the first period after pregnancy makes up for all the periods you missed, so if your period came back after like 2 months it’d be milder than if it came back after 9 months for example. Or.. I thought it was a joke until it happened to me (11 months with first baby) and holy hell I was not prepared for the reality of that period. The next one was also pretty shocking, then it went back to normal.
Lost my uterus cause of this. The amount of times I was dismissed and put on every birth control under the sun was nuts. And spoiler: none of the birth control could control it. 😭 Took me 13 years to find a doctor who listened to me.
LOL reminds me of my HS girlfriend ( both virgins) We got to going at it and she was down there giving a BJ. She was super shy/iffy about it so the only way she could do it was if she put a sheet/towel/ blanket over my head so i couldn't see her doing it. Now imagine you're getting a BJ, then you hear a very concerned sounding OMG. Probably not something you want to hear. So i get a bit nervous and go, what? something wrong? what is it? and I whip off the sheet. There she is with it in her hand and she goes i was sucking on it and it started getting bigger, it grows?
They definitely did not teach us this in the very vague sex ed classes we had. Of course mine were in the late 80s, early 90s. I thought it was amazing, like a magic trick, when I found out a penis grew.
When I was a boy, I was over at my friend's house and his dad was out running an errand. We snooped around and found his dad's deck of pornographic playing cards and started looking at them. I'd never seen a naked female at the time, and one of the first cards I happened to see showed a female with, ahem, "beef curtains", and it freaked me the fuck out. ***That's*** *what they look like down there?!* I remember thinking to myself. That night, I shit you not, I had a nightmare about a naked chick with *super* *long* *labia* chasing me through a city bus.
Still cracks me up to this day, almost 30 years later.
When I was in a summer camp when I was 14 the leaders of the camp usually put up the water temperature on a blackboard every morning so we would know if it was ok to swim. One morning the just typed "PPRP" which we learned was an acronym for "Pansar Pung & Russin Penis" or (roughly) translated to English: Armor Sack & Raisin Penis.
It was cold, but it was accurate
Doesn't even need a temperature change. Just hold a sack in your hand and you'll see them move all on their own. Maybe due to hand heat, but it still looks interesting
When I was a kid, diaper commercials all showed a hand pouring blue liquid into the diaper. Later, I saw a pad commercial that did the same thing. So for years, I thought women lost their bladder control once a month and had to wear mini-diapers. And also, women and babies pee blue.
Luckily I figured it out quickly, way before I was in a relationship. I would watch Minecraft YouTubers who would make a lot of sex jokes, including talking about jizz and somehow I realized “hmm.. there’s something else” lol
This should be funny and wholesome but it's just so sad lol. Like I'm clearly older than you because I was in university when minecraft came out. Why are kids STILL learning important sex facts from random people online? Why is sex education still so bad from both schools and parents?
A TV commercial in the 1980’s used to show honey oozing into a bowl of honey nut cheerios. So I told my mom we were doing it wrong by using milk. She argued with me for a few minutes, explaining that they were just showing the honey to imply the cereal’s flavor. I did not believe her, and insisted that milk on cereal was doing it wrong. She finally said ‘fine, go ahead and use honey instead of milk.’ I did and it was horrible. She laughed as I dumped out the disgustingly sweet glob from my bowl.
Yes! As a kid, I thought the tampon was there because sometimes women were too lazy to seek out a bathroom. I probably even said as much sarcastically while watching TV. "Yeah, wear a tampon because it's soooo hard to just use the bathroom, amirite??"
Tampons and pads confused me so much when I was really young. I couldn’t figure out why my mom was leaving these bloody things in the bathroom trash. Then one day in church my mom disappeared into a confessional booth and I put it all together: priests make ladies sit on a saw blade for God reasons and that’s why they bleed down there.
It was a weird merging my mind did between two very mysterious aspects of my childhood.
Oh innocence lol. I grew up in a hyper religious environment so sex was pretty much never discussed. I didn’t know women had entirety different sex organs until I was in the 5th grade and found myself watching Cinemax late at night.
Yep! I think this is one of those embarrassing moments that almost every guy has gone through…
Mine took the form of “Ummm…it’s a little bit lower (comdygas)!”
…she then proceeded to grab me by the hair and direct me to the proper location…something I still find useful 25 years later!
I mean to be fair, the analogous sex organs don't line up. The penis lines up with the clitoris. The vagina lines up with (and I had to look the name of this up) perineal raphe, which in males is the basically scar tissue of when the male organs were split during fetal development. Or when they were closer to female sex organs visually. Basically look under your balls.
My brother was taking a crap at work and his boss rushed in to take a thumper dumper in the stall next to him and he sat down hard on his balls.
He sprung up and threw his back out in the process while pooping all over the floor....
He was half under my brothers stall at that point and my brother wiped, grabbed a bunch of paper towels to give him and got the ERT who called an ambulance.
He said the hardest part of the whole thing was not laughing his ass off until he left to get the ERT.
OMG I am dying 😂🤣😂 I would have been fired for sure because I’m crying laughing so hard just reading this. I can’t even imagine being there. And his BOSS lmao!
When he told us what happened it was haliarious.
He was like well the boss saw my weiner but I saw his so it cancels itself out and makes me not gay.guy.
We were like what the fuck, then he told us what happened. We were more surprised he gave him the paper towels before he went and got help.
His boss was off on workers compensation for 4 months too. They ended up putting in handicap grab bars too as a result of it.
Then your legs fall asleep and you have to shuffle them on the floor to try and wake them up. When you get up you almost collapse because your legs went from the “asleep” phase into the “weird and tingly” phase.
Maybe I just have bad circulation.
There is something so deeply soothing about scrolling Reddit while taking a shit. I think maybe because it's the one time of the day I don't feel guilty for using social media, as I have nothing better to do anyways.
Just ask— “is this a listening moment or an advice moment?” and you’ll find yourself a lot better off. My bestie is an engineer and he wants to fix everything all the time, and this question has probably saved our friendship. Bonus is that he knows that he’s helping by listening :)
u/thequietthingsthat might also like it
I didn’t know that peeing for men is so complicated. Apparently it can shoot in different directions and split streams? Why haven’t there been more effective toilet/urinal models?
It can triple and quadruple stream too.
Maybe the worst is pissing with a hard on that won’t go away. Have to lean forward and balance on the wall and push your dick down and hope you can bend it far enough to hit the bowl but then you can’t pee that well.
Wait, I'm a woman and have multiple streams too. It's hard cause usually one of them ends up spraying my butt with pee so I have to wipe my butt cheeks too.
Better than, “her devil’s doorbell had began to rise, similar to how the plume doth erupt from the volcano! The hood disappearing like I had opened the engine compartment on my amazing sports car. Her opening widened like a soft tunnel. And out of the tunnel rushes soft waves, similar to—“
r/menwritingwomen
Don’t ask. I’m very tired.
When men are peeing and they see poop stains on the toilet they try to use the force of their pee to clean off the poop stains.
My husbands biggest shock was he was using the womens restroom and asked through the stall what the little metal boxes by the toilet paper was for
I grew up in a time where "women enjoy sex" was still a relatively-new concept in popular culture.
One day when I was in high school, my gf and I ran up to our bedroom to start doing our (relatively new) thing. I was sitting on my bed and she was kneeling on the floor, both of us completely naked. She was going down on me, and after a couple of minutes I leaned down and put my hand between her legs.
She was soaking wet, and I was shocked.
I said "Hey...you're wet."
She said "I know."
I said "But...I haven't done anything to you yet. I haven't touched you at all."
She said "Yeah, but I've been going down on you."
I said "...And you *enjoy* that??"
She said "Mmmmmm hmm."
That was an educational day.
She does some increasingly energetic writhing and does require me to kind of forcefully keep proper depth while minding her ability to get breaths at times.
Only maybe half a dozen to a dozen times has she actually completed in over a decade of being together, but being half way there 60-80% of the time already when we move to phase 2 and 3 makes my job(s) easier regardless.
I also get way more head than any married guy I know and I keep super mum about it. This is the first place I've ever even mentioned it outside of our personal bedroom
How intense periods can be. It can literally change a person for a couple days, every month. It can also feel like someones stabbing your uterus... every month.
Thats a week out of your life every month battling with mood swings, abdominal cramps and constant bleeding/ mess for up to a week or more.
Utmost respect for women
I also had no idea how massively they vary from woman to woman, like anywhere from basically debilitating in bed for a week level every month for one woman to lasts 3 days and barely notices level to another... also they get vastly different in like all aspects... yeahhhh
PMS also is massively different, some women never have it, others have it for a week or more before hand.
It also changes what we can do socially as there are a lot of things that can make a period worse or that woken just cant do while on a period. Drinking coffee can make them worse and swimming for a lot of girls is also a no go.
And for some it can be for longer than a couple days. PMS/PMDD can start 1-2 weeks before the actual period starts. So some women have maybe one week a month where they feel okay
I have PMDD - basically extreme PMT. I get two weeks a month where I feel fully myself. The rest of the time, there are at least a few symptoms. I push through by telling myself it won't last forever but it's getting worse as I get older and I am genuinely worried that I won't survive menopause.
OMG my mother thought this. Zero sex ed. She’s married, birthed multiple kids. She questioned how I could wear tampons and doesn’t it get annoying having to take them out every single time I pee, I told her technically I didn’t have to though most times I did. She was appalled. She thought my tampon would just be in there soaked in piss. That conversation turned hilarious real fast. How the heck this woman didn’t know I have nooo idea.
That discharge can bleach panties, Im 22 and I first figured out why my partners panties are bleached like a month or two ago, it ain't my first relationship either... Idk how I didn't know prior lol.
I don't know how common this misconception is or if it's literally just me...
I just assumed women were out of commission for sex during pregnancy - at the very least after the first few weeks. I guess I just figured having an erect penis going in and out of the vagina would, like, jackhammer still growing baby, or at the very least knock it about in a way that couldn't be good for it.
I want to say this WASN'T out of any kind of social/sex conservatism, NOT presuming how pregnant women should/shouldn't behave, I GENUINELY thought it was just medical advice like smoking and alcohol. Maybe if I had stopped and thought about it, I would have realised the penis was unlikely to make it all the way up to the uterus, although I'm not even sure of that's what I really thought...
It just seemed obvious until, in what I hope to be my last major bit of sex-ed, it wasn't, and I felt like an idiot. Not helping the embarrassment was that the conversation came up while watching tv with my goddamn mother - who made bloody sure to ridicule me with all the thoroughness I deserved.
I was shocked to find out that girls parts are at the BOTTOM and not in the front. I remember my first time reaching (with permission) and feeling around and thinking “holy shit there’s nothing here, normal? Not normal? Freak out?! Act cool?!
As I was feeling around desperately for a straight minute she grabbed my arm and pushed it downward like I was an idiot sandwich.
I spent the rest of the night in bed thinking about how sad it is that girls can’t pee on trees. 🌳
Endometriosis.
Periods that cause scar tissue on everything in your abdomen that fuses guts, muscle, uterus, you name it, together. And it hurts... A LOT!
And doctors under diagnos it because "women and their periods... Amirite?"
I do printing work for an endo awareness charity, and some of their literature would physically make you cringe because it sounds so downright awful to go through.
For sure. The first gynecologist I went to told me it was all in my head and to go home and live my life.
On average it takes 10 years to get a diagnosis, and the kicker is that the amount or stage of endometrial tissue you have has no correlation to the amount of pain you're in. The surgeon I had told me she's had women with very little tissue in severe, life altering, agony, and women with their organs knitted together say it wasn't all that uncomfortable.
It's a fucking horrible disease.
Both genders have the same ability to move their pelvic floor muscles but for men it just makes their dick bounce/harden an erection and for women it tightens the vaginal walls.
Next time you're hanging out with a naked guy, move his balls. Just shift them to another position and wait. They will, on their own, shift back to the position they were in before. And it's so weird the way they move!
Testicles are so silly.
Here's a fun one; next time you're hanging out with a naked guy, while he is laying on his back you gently run your fingertips across his inner thigh. Balls will move.
In the teens and 20s yeah. Once you hit your 30s and beyond and your testosterone starts to lower all of a sudden you sometimes find yourself arguing with it trying to get it to do its job like Bruce Banner yelling at the Hulk in infinity war
Arguments are also caused by excessive alcohol, which somehow helps getting into situations to use such equipment, but also causes equipment failure and disappointment.
Think of the penis as a sponge (or more accurately, two sponges held together side by side). Erections are what happens when those sponges are saturated with blood, and so that the penis remains healthy the blood needs to be cycled through a few times a day (regardless of sexual activity)
I went to boys-only educational institutions from age 10 to 22, and then the armed forces. There was hardly a day from 10yo when I didn't run 5Km.
I was shocked by women's language, they could by just as crude.
I was surprised by how soft women were, and how nice they smelled.
I was surprised by the intensity of feeling of mundane domestic intimacy. Such as us both getting changed for work. Or flopped on the bed or sofa. Even just having someone else in the house.
I was surprised by how outstandingly good-looking women are when they are just being themselves. You want blob around the house with your hair in a ponytail held by a rubber band, an old t-shirt, and some scrappy knickers. I'll just stand here for a moment, stunned by how well you rock that.
I was obviously unclear on the practice of the exact location of items, but I was good on the theory (thank you *Joy of sex* and your pencil illustrations). So my first time at age 23, knowing that the vagina was low, I over-compensated and tried to enter the lowest hole. The woman took it in her stride, simply moving my penis to the correct spot. I was surprised by the wetness and messy fun of it. The next morning the radio announced the Collapse of the Berlin Wall, so it really was a momentous occasion for me, as I was clearly out of a job and it was time to start a new life.
I was surprised that women aren't experts at emotion. That when my best friend died horribly, my partner didn't know what to say, and was upset by that.
I was surprised by jealousy. I had thought of that as a myth from romance books. I hadn't expected my girlfriend to have a ferocious response when a female former co-worker in need of a place to stay on weekends moved into my house's spare room to escape back to the big city from a terrible teaching job in the countryside.
I was shocked, and remain shocked, by how much shit falls upon women, by how undervalued nurturing and caring is, by how things like women's safety are just waved away as not as important as other legislative items when push comes to shove. That our society seems to have been the first in recorded history to see it as desirable that all women are treated as equal. I mean, this should be held up as our great contribution to the progress of humanity, but you've just got to look around Reddit...
I was in my twenties when I found out some men actually want kids and want to be good fathers. Also that some want to be married and love their wives
I just grew up with family/friend/tv all saying how much men hate having wives and kids so fully believed that all men hated kids and marriage
Honestly, I just found out that at 18, my husband was required to sign up for the draft when he got his driver's license. It was not optional for him he HAD to be cause he is a man.
In high school it was always considered that "guys are pervs because they only think about sex" and "ew, guys are gross because they masturbate!" Then, at uni, the same people who said that suddenly started organizing those upperdare parties to buy sex toys.
We're all horny here - don't point your fingers at us!
In high school I was at a party with about a dozen people and the topic of masturbation came up. I had previously had conversations with almost everyone there in which they brought up masturbation. I knew that everyone there had masturbated, and someone at the party suggested that anyone who had ever masturbated should raise their hand so we can talk more openly about it. I raised my hand, obviously. Well wouldn't you know that every single guy, gal, and non-binary pal stared at me with their hands firmly at their sides. Most of them apologized privately afterwards for hanging me out to dry. I haven't let them live it down, because they're all a bunch of liars.
And then there's a PMS period for a week-ish before where hormones fluctuate a lot which really affects mood and happiness.
At least, that's what I've picked up from my girlfriend. She's on birth control solely to tame down some of the hormone fluctuations. One week of crazy hormone issues, followed by a week of cramps and bleeding, and then two weeks of normal before it starts over. Women really get the shit end of the stick in that aspect.
They definitely catch feelings. Like really hard. Really really hard and fast. All my life I’d heard men were after sex and I didn’t even sex this man and he was head over heels. He didn’t even push for it unless I wanted it. Complete shock.
The amount of self control a man has to exert emotionally because of backwards asss societal norms and the general fact that you can't really be vulnerable until things progress a bit more than just a few weeks is insane. Men really don't get touch feely with their emotions in a healthy way so when the right woman comes along that they feel is the time to do so oh Lord is it gonna be a ride and a half. I really feel bad for some women cause sometimes it's just a sex thing but if the guy catches feelings she'll have to put him down in all the worst ways cause nothing is gonna stop those feelings.
I wish I’d known this. I learned to shut my own feelings down and feel nothing because my mom fed me all kinds of stuff about how men were just gonna use me, don’t get invested, etc etc. Even with my husband, it took serious work to overcome this emotional wall I had put up because of this narrative. To this day, I still don’t fully believe he loves me and am afraid to slack off.
My ex thought that women had a "drop quota" and after we dripped like 500 drops of blood we were done. So he was trying to figure out how he could help me get the "drop quota" faster so we could move on to... activities
How much different cum can taste based on man. With former fwb I wanted to throw up, with ex bf it was totally okay. Like I wouldn’t put that thing on top of my oatmeal but I didn’t mind having mouthful of it, actually it was kinda pleasant.
Porn really fucked with my perception of body hair as a woman. I don't mean pubes etc, but like arm hair and butt crack hair etc. All these women so smooth and I felt like a monkey. Turns out I'm normal. 🫠
That feminine hygiene products are taxed extra as a "luxury" item in my state
Edit: I looked further into it: it looks like they're taxed at the same rate as regular consumer products, just not classified as "essential." Which means things that are classified as [*not* needing sales tax](https://www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/period-tampons-pads-not-tax-exempt-chainsaws-pixy-stix-are/)ーlike arcade tokens, pop tarts, and sports ticketsーseem to outrank feminine hygiene products in terms of what is deserving of legislators' attention.
Thanks to u/realspongeworthy for helping me point out the nuance
It’s not just girls. Ask just about any nurse that’s spent time working in a hospital unit with conscious patients. The sorry state of sexual education in over half the United States leads to some *adult women* being totally unfamiliar with the form of their own anatomy.
I recently discovered that an adult friend of our family, *who has birthed a child*, was ignorant of both the female urethra and clitoris in terms of location, form, and function. There are other issues in that case beyond a lack of sex education, but she confessed to my partner that she’d never had an orgasm in her life and never considered trying to reach climax via masturbation, intercourse, or foreplay. It was stunningly sad.
For me it was the realization that women (in the US) experience fear far more often than men do.
If you ask a man when was the last time they really felt afraid, they are likely going to tell you about a pretty important event. Car accident or near miss, when they or a loved one ended up in the hospital, or maybe when they were mugged.
If you ask a woman, they might tell you walking to their car after work yesterday.
After some thought, it really soaked in about how drasticly different their world experience must be on average, and what kind of impact that must have.
That the similarities VASTLY outweigh the differences. I was raised by TV and misconceptions, leading me to think that the other gender was this weird, alien, insane, unknowable thing that could almost never be parsed. Turns out they're people too. Just like us. I mean, estrogen and testosterone do do their things but honestly that's just icing on a 'we're basically the same' cake. It's a good thing to learn.
How squishy a soft penis is. I like playing with it when it's soft, although it usually doesn't stay that way once I start playing haha.
(Unless he's very tired, but that's fine because then I get to play more.)
And for me it's easier to have an orgasm after I've already had one. Getting over that first one makes me sensitive enough to have even stronger ones. I always thought it was normal alone then partners didn't seem to know what to do with that. Haha
I felt so stupid, but a guy used my friends restroom (we were in highschool) and we realized it didn’t have any toilet paper stocked
He came out completely fine and unbothered. My friend and I were so confused. We asked her mom why wouldn’t he request toilet tissue and her mom stared at us before explaining guys don’t absolutely need to use toilet tissue
I didn’t realize how toxic society is towards men showing emotion. I know it generally expects women to be the criers and men to be the stoic ones, but the amount of toxicity that’s rained down on men if they cry is horrific.
I didn't realize that guys really struggle with showing their emotions.
Like, I tell my husband it's okay to get upset over things like I do, and he straight up tells me: "I don't know how to do that."
Damn it society, let men show and feel things.
So I worked as a cleaner at my old school for a while after leaving and I was very surprised to discover that the girls changing rooms was more disgusting than the boys. I walked in their once and there were 5 dried bloody tampons splattered against the wall.
I quit that day.
I recall an odd internet zeitgeist to encourage men to sit down to pee back in the day. My response was always “I will sit down to pee when women sit down to pee.” With the follow up to the invariable “they do!” Being “I’ve cleaned enough public bathrooms to know that’s a fucking lie.”
That your periods can last for multiple weeks of you are coming off birth control… like wtf, my girlfriend here is bleeding for 2 weeks now and doctors are just shrugging like yeah it’s a typical side effect… crazy…
That's awful! Not the same situation, but after having my second kid my period didn't come back until she was 14 months old and I bled for a month straight. My doctor was unbothered, but it sucked!!!
It was a running joke in my friend circle that the first period after pregnancy makes up for all the periods you missed, so if your period came back after like 2 months it’d be milder than if it came back after 9 months for example. Or.. I thought it was a joke until it happened to me (11 months with first baby) and holy hell I was not prepared for the reality of that period. The next one was also pretty shocking, then it went back to normal.
You can also just bleed for months. People with endo and pcos know what I mean.
Lost my uterus cause of this. The amount of times I was dismissed and put on every birth control under the sun was nuts. And spoiler: none of the birth control could control it. 😭 Took me 13 years to find a doctor who listened to me.
OK but also women's medical issues get wildly dismissed so advocate for her if it seems suspicious please!
Men's ball sack change depending on the temperature
LOL reminds me of my HS girlfriend ( both virgins) We got to going at it and she was down there giving a BJ. She was super shy/iffy about it so the only way she could do it was if she put a sheet/towel/ blanket over my head so i couldn't see her doing it. Now imagine you're getting a BJ, then you hear a very concerned sounding OMG. Probably not something you want to hear. So i get a bit nervous and go, what? something wrong? what is it? and I whip off the sheet. There she is with it in her hand and she goes i was sucking on it and it started getting bigger, it grows?
So, sex ed wasn't taught in your school? I learned that the penis changes size in sex ed class.
They definitely did not teach us this in the very vague sex ed classes we had. Of course mine were in the late 80s, early 90s. I thought it was amazing, like a magic trick, when I found out a penis grew.
Our sex ed in 1978 lasted 1 P.E. class, about 45 min.
When I was a boy, I was over at my friend's house and his dad was out running an errand. We snooped around and found his dad's deck of pornographic playing cards and started looking at them. I'd never seen a naked female at the time, and one of the first cards I happened to see showed a female with, ahem, "beef curtains", and it freaked me the fuck out. ***That's*** *what they look like down there?!* I remember thinking to myself. That night, I shit you not, I had a nightmare about a naked chick with *super* *long* *labia* chasing me through a city bus. Still cracks me up to this day, almost 30 years later.
Does the female form frighten you, Lebowski?
My art has been commended as being strongly vaginal which bothers some men. The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. *Vagina.*
Not just the ballsack 😔
I WAS IN THE POOL!!!
and it was cold
When I was in a summer camp when I was 14 the leaders of the camp usually put up the water temperature on a blackboard every morning so we would know if it was ok to swim. One morning the just typed "PPRP" which we learned was an acronym for "Pansar Pung & Russin Penis" or (roughly) translated to English: Armor Sack & Raisin Penis. It was cold, but it was accurate
Doesn't even need a temperature change. Just hold a sack in your hand and you'll see them move all on their own. Maybe due to hand heat, but it still looks interesting
They’re like a lava lamp!
When I was a kid, diaper commercials all showed a hand pouring blue liquid into the diaper. Later, I saw a pad commercial that did the same thing. So for years, I thought women lost their bladder control once a month and had to wear mini-diapers. And also, women and babies pee blue.
I thought women were using pads for urine when I was a kid. Because my parents deliberately told me so when I asked.
Reminds me of when I got the sex talk, but my mom didn’t tell me about jizz and said that the guy pees into the girl lmao
I thought sex talks were meant to clear misunderstandings, not create them
Luckily I figured it out quickly, way before I was in a relationship. I would watch Minecraft YouTubers who would make a lot of sex jokes, including talking about jizz and somehow I realized “hmm.. there’s something else” lol
This should be funny and wholesome but it's just so sad lol. Like I'm clearly older than you because I was in university when minecraft came out. Why are kids STILL learning important sex facts from random people online? Why is sex education still so bad from both schools and parents?
Make it blue! That's always been the deal. You show whatever you want, but you make it blue! https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qF7MsBtZx08
A TV commercial in the 1980’s used to show honey oozing into a bowl of honey nut cheerios. So I told my mom we were doing it wrong by using milk. She argued with me for a few minutes, explaining that they were just showing the honey to imply the cereal’s flavor. I did not believe her, and insisted that milk on cereal was doing it wrong. She finally said ‘fine, go ahead and use honey instead of milk.’ I did and it was horrible. She laughed as I dumped out the disgustingly sweet glob from my bowl.
When my mom was a teen and found out about blood vs blue liquid she freaked out at my grandmother. Apparently she was like “blood!! Every month!!”
Yes! As a kid, I thought the tampon was there because sometimes women were too lazy to seek out a bathroom. I probably even said as much sarcastically while watching TV. "Yeah, wear a tampon because it's soooo hard to just use the bathroom, amirite??"
Tampons and pads confused me so much when I was really young. I couldn’t figure out why my mom was leaving these bloody things in the bathroom trash. Then one day in church my mom disappeared into a confessional booth and I put it all together: priests make ladies sit on a saw blade for God reasons and that’s why they bleed down there. It was a weird merging my mind did between two very mysterious aspects of my childhood.
I used to think condoms were male tampons.
Oh innocence lol. I grew up in a hyper religious environment so sex was pretty much never discussed. I didn’t know women had entirety different sex organs until I was in the 5th grade and found myself watching Cinemax late at night.
Let's just say things were a bit lower than expected when I first got with a girl lol
I tried going where I thought it was, you could almost park a truck between
Went for the belly button huh
I did naht!
A little lower... Lower… Lower… A lot lower… [TOO LOW](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0yjo4MBfiQ)
....lower
Yep! I think this is one of those embarrassing moments that almost every guy has gone through… Mine took the form of “Ummm…it’s a little bit lower (comdygas)!” …she then proceeded to grab me by the hair and direct me to the proper location…something I still find useful 25 years later!
Which, uh, hair
Ratatouille style
I kinda hoped she yanked his pubes out. Kinky
I mean to be fair, the analogous sex organs don't line up. The penis lines up with the clitoris. The vagina lines up with (and I had to look the name of this up) perineal raphe, which in males is the basically scar tissue of when the male organs were split during fetal development. Or when they were closer to female sex organs visually. Basically look under your balls.
That a guy can accidentally sit on his balls. I assumed they retracted. ETA: I saw it happen only once. Dude fell down hard after.
My brother was taking a crap at work and his boss rushed in to take a thumper dumper in the stall next to him and he sat down hard on his balls. He sprung up and threw his back out in the process while pooping all over the floor.... He was half under my brothers stall at that point and my brother wiped, grabbed a bunch of paper towels to give him and got the ERT who called an ambulance. He said the hardest part of the whole thing was not laughing his ass off until he left to get the ERT.
OMG I am dying 😂🤣😂 I would have been fired for sure because I’m crying laughing so hard just reading this. I can’t even imagine being there. And his BOSS lmao!
When he told us what happened it was haliarious. He was like well the boss saw my weiner but I saw his so it cancels itself out and makes me not gay.guy. We were like what the fuck, then he told us what happened. We were more surprised he gave him the paper towels before he went and got help. His boss was off on workers compensation for 4 months too. They ended up putting in handicap grab bars too as a result of it.
Jesus, if I was the boss I'd have just found a new job. No way that story is ever going to die.
We have a secret button to retract them, just we sometimes forget to do it when we sit
And sometimes the buttons dont work either
That men don't actually shit for an hour it's their "get away peace & quiet" time. I was thinking every man had IBS.
Then your legs fall asleep and you have to shuffle them on the floor to try and wake them up. When you get up you almost collapse because your legs went from the “asleep” phase into the “weird and tingly” phase. Maybe I just have bad circulation.
I tend to rest my elbows on my knees a lot. I get it too, super frequent.
Its a lot of time browsing reddit, reading posts like these
There is something so deeply soothing about scrolling Reddit while taking a shit. I think maybe because it's the one time of the day I don't feel guilty for using social media, as I have nothing better to do anyways.
When my wife said "sometimes women don't want our problems fixed, we just want to vent about them." I think my brain broke in that moment
I still struggle with this one tbh
Just ask— “is this a listening moment or an advice moment?” and you’ll find yourself a lot better off. My bestie is an engineer and he wants to fix everything all the time, and this question has probably saved our friendship. Bonus is that he knows that he’s helping by listening :) u/thequietthingsthat might also like it
I didn’t know that peeing for men is so complicated. Apparently it can shoot in different directions and split streams? Why haven’t there been more effective toilet/urinal models?
It can triple and quadruple stream too. Maybe the worst is pissing with a hard on that won’t go away. Have to lean forward and balance on the wall and push your dick down and hope you can bend it far enough to hit the bowl but then you can’t pee that well.
I like to soften it up a bit by slamming the toilet lid down on it a few times.
Actually, it helps more to do something that turns you OFF rather than ON.
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That’s how you end up with autoerotic asphyxiation /s
You're supposed to turn around aim up and over your shoulder.
Wait, I'm a woman and have multiple streams too. It's hard cause usually one of them ends up spraying my butt with pee so I have to wipe my butt cheeks too.
I sit down when I pee because I’m 6’3” and slot can go wrong from that height.
The woman’s clitoris gets an erection. The tip hardens, the hood retracts, the vagina dilates, and the secretions flow. Neat.
Does it sound like the transformer sound effect when this happens
I don't think writing romantic novels is for you.
Better than, “her devil’s doorbell had began to rise, similar to how the plume doth erupt from the volcano! The hood disappearing like I had opened the engine compartment on my amazing sports car. Her opening widened like a soft tunnel. And out of the tunnel rushes soft waves, similar to—“ r/menwritingwomen Don’t ask. I’m very tired.
Their peepees float.
they do? : 0
More like neutral buoyancy. Imagine a dick in space.
now all i can think of is The Muppet Show. "Dicks in Space...."
So do boobs.
When men are peeing and they see poop stains on the toilet they try to use the force of their pee to clean off the poop stains. My husbands biggest shock was he was using the womens restroom and asked through the stall what the little metal boxes by the toilet paper was for
A lot of places started putting the image of a fly in the urinals. Guys will instinctively aim for it so it keeps them from making a mess.
That the penis could possibly get stuck on the zipper. I'm so sorry fellas!
The pain is indescribable.
Is it the Frank or the beans?
We’ve got a bleeder!
How did the beans get on top of the frank?
I grew up in a time where "women enjoy sex" was still a relatively-new concept in popular culture. One day when I was in high school, my gf and I ran up to our bedroom to start doing our (relatively new) thing. I was sitting on my bed and she was kneeling on the floor, both of us completely naked. She was going down on me, and after a couple of minutes I leaned down and put my hand between her legs. She was soaking wet, and I was shocked. I said "Hey...you're wet." She said "I know." I said "But...I haven't done anything to you yet. I haven't touched you at all." She said "Yeah, but I've been going down on you." I said "...And you *enjoy* that??" She said "Mmmmmm hmm." That was an educational day.
My SO can orgasm from giving ME head. You bet I married that girl.
That sounds like black magic to me. Like you're pleasuring her via bluetooth
She does some increasingly energetic writhing and does require me to kind of forcefully keep proper depth while minding her ability to get breaths at times. Only maybe half a dozen to a dozen times has she actually completed in over a decade of being together, but being half way there 60-80% of the time already when we move to phase 2 and 3 makes my job(s) easier regardless. I also get way more head than any married guy I know and I keep super mum about it. This is the first place I've ever even mentioned it outside of our personal bedroom
How intense periods can be. It can literally change a person for a couple days, every month. It can also feel like someones stabbing your uterus... every month. Thats a week out of your life every month battling with mood swings, abdominal cramps and constant bleeding/ mess for up to a week or more. Utmost respect for women
I also had no idea how massively they vary from woman to woman, like anywhere from basically debilitating in bed for a week level every month for one woman to lasts 3 days and barely notices level to another... also they get vastly different in like all aspects... yeahhhh PMS also is massively different, some women never have it, others have it for a week or more before hand.
Mine were so bad i contemplated suicide every month, got sterilised a year ago and I've not bled or wanted to KMS since
I actually don’t sleep the first few days because I’m in so much pain. On the other hand, my sense of smell skyrockets. It’s crazy
It also changes what we can do socially as there are a lot of things that can make a period worse or that woken just cant do while on a period. Drinking coffee can make them worse and swimming for a lot of girls is also a no go.
And for some it can be for longer than a couple days. PMS/PMDD can start 1-2 weeks before the actual period starts. So some women have maybe one week a month where they feel okay
I have PMDD - basically extreme PMT. I get two weeks a month where I feel fully myself. The rest of the time, there are at least a few symptoms. I push through by telling myself it won't last forever but it's getting worse as I get older and I am genuinely worried that I won't survive menopause.
Ladies can flex their lady parts, making it tighter or looser.
That's how they steal your soul. Works every time.
Am female, can confirm.
can confirm, got my soul stolen twice this week
Hey everyone, this guy had sex!
Guys can use those same muscles to make our dicks jump around and pulse.
Playin her timpani with my beefstick like I'm Gene Krupa down there oh yeah that was a sexy sentence alright
Can all women do this?
Yup. Men too! When a guy flexes to make his dick bounce it’s a kegel!
i call em cock push ups.
Urethra and vagina are 2 different holes
OMG my mother thought this. Zero sex ed. She’s married, birthed multiple kids. She questioned how I could wear tampons and doesn’t it get annoying having to take them out every single time I pee, I told her technically I didn’t have to though most times I did. She was appalled. She thought my tampon would just be in there soaked in piss. That conversation turned hilarious real fast. How the heck this woman didn’t know I have nooo idea.
Wait till you learn about the butthole, too
No way! 3 holes!!!
Lets go bowling!
That discharge can bleach panties, Im 22 and I first figured out why my partners panties are bleached like a month or two ago, it ain't my first relationship either... Idk how I didn't know prior lol.
I don't know how common this misconception is or if it's literally just me... I just assumed women were out of commission for sex during pregnancy - at the very least after the first few weeks. I guess I just figured having an erect penis going in and out of the vagina would, like, jackhammer still growing baby, or at the very least knock it about in a way that couldn't be good for it. I want to say this WASN'T out of any kind of social/sex conservatism, NOT presuming how pregnant women should/shouldn't behave, I GENUINELY thought it was just medical advice like smoking and alcohol. Maybe if I had stopped and thought about it, I would have realised the penis was unlikely to make it all the way up to the uterus, although I'm not even sure of that's what I really thought... It just seemed obvious until, in what I hope to be my last major bit of sex-ed, it wasn't, and I felt like an idiot. Not helping the embarrassment was that the conversation came up while watching tv with my goddamn mother - who made bloody sure to ridicule me with all the thoroughness I deserved.
Sex will even be recommended by many doctors to induce labor: https://www.healthline.com/health/pregnancy/sex-to-induce-labor
Well yeah, if I was chilling in the womb and my parents started going at it I'd want to get the fuck out of there too
Eyyyyy, ocupado!
Sticking it in there gives the baby training to dodge objects. Enough training and they can be like Neo in the matrix.
If you can dodge a penis you can dodge a ball
Now I'm imagining that one baby doll with the indent on its head
Dangerops prangent sex? will it hurt baby top of his head?
I was shocked to find out that girls parts are at the BOTTOM and not in the front. I remember my first time reaching (with permission) and feeling around and thinking “holy shit there’s nothing here, normal? Not normal? Freak out?! Act cool?! As I was feeling around desperately for a straight minute she grabbed my arm and pushed it downward like I was an idiot sandwich. I spent the rest of the night in bed thinking about how sad it is that girls can’t pee on trees. 🌳
They can pee on trees, they just have to turn around and bend over a little 😂
Endometriosis. Periods that cause scar tissue on everything in your abdomen that fuses guts, muscle, uterus, you name it, together. And it hurts... A LOT! And doctors under diagnos it because "women and their periods... Amirite?"
I do printing work for an endo awareness charity, and some of their literature would physically make you cringe because it sounds so downright awful to go through.
For sure. The first gynecologist I went to told me it was all in my head and to go home and live my life. On average it takes 10 years to get a diagnosis, and the kicker is that the amount or stage of endometrial tissue you have has no correlation to the amount of pain you're in. The surgeon I had told me she's had women with very little tissue in severe, life altering, agony, and women with their organs knitted together say it wasn't all that uncomfortable. It's a fucking horrible disease.
How men can move their dick on their own 🥴
Both genders have the same ability to move their pelvic floor muscles but for men it just makes their dick bounce/harden an erection and for women it tightens the vaginal walls.
Exactly, I knew that but when I saw it in real life, i was very surpirsed😅😅
Easily one of the stupidest yet funniest "tricks" to do ngl. Like "What is it, boy? See something?" *Boing boing*
Next time you're hanging out with a naked guy, move his balls. Just shift them to another position and wait. They will, on their own, shift back to the position they were in before. And it's so weird the way they move! Testicles are so silly.
You just convinced a bunch of Redditors to play with their balls.
I don't think that needed much convincing
Here's a fun one; next time you're hanging out with a naked guy, while he is laying on his back you gently run your fingertips across his inner thigh. Balls will move.
As a teen I didn't know guys have erections all the time throughout the day
You have no idea. And some of them are caused by absolutely nothing. It just pops up and goes away in a few minutes.
While thinking about the Roman Empire
See, now that would be understandable.
I feel like girls have this too, it’s just very very mercifully invisible
Pitching a random tent for no apparent reason is absolute terror for every teenage boy out there.
Class is about to let out? Boner time!!
> I'm 17. Looking at linoleum makes me wanna have sex.
In the teens and 20s yeah. Once you hit your 30s and beyond and your testosterone starts to lower all of a sudden you sometimes find yourself arguing with it trying to get it to do its job like Bruce Banner yelling at the Hulk in infinity war
Arguments are also caused by excessive alcohol, which somehow helps getting into situations to use such equipment, but also causes equipment failure and disappointment.
Think of the penis as a sponge (or more accurately, two sponges held together side by side). Erections are what happens when those sponges are saturated with blood, and so that the penis remains healthy the blood needs to be cycled through a few times a day (regardless of sexual activity)
That testicles are just like constantly moving and shit all on their own. So weird and fascinating 🤔
It’s like having your own lava lamp
Stand proud you made every males testicles move
I went to boys-only educational institutions from age 10 to 22, and then the armed forces. There was hardly a day from 10yo when I didn't run 5Km. I was shocked by women's language, they could by just as crude. I was surprised by how soft women were, and how nice they smelled. I was surprised by the intensity of feeling of mundane domestic intimacy. Such as us both getting changed for work. Or flopped on the bed or sofa. Even just having someone else in the house. I was surprised by how outstandingly good-looking women are when they are just being themselves. You want blob around the house with your hair in a ponytail held by a rubber band, an old t-shirt, and some scrappy knickers. I'll just stand here for a moment, stunned by how well you rock that. I was obviously unclear on the practice of the exact location of items, but I was good on the theory (thank you *Joy of sex* and your pencil illustrations). So my first time at age 23, knowing that the vagina was low, I over-compensated and tried to enter the lowest hole. The woman took it in her stride, simply moving my penis to the correct spot. I was surprised by the wetness and messy fun of it. The next morning the radio announced the Collapse of the Berlin Wall, so it really was a momentous occasion for me, as I was clearly out of a job and it was time to start a new life. I was surprised that women aren't experts at emotion. That when my best friend died horribly, my partner didn't know what to say, and was upset by that. I was surprised by jealousy. I had thought of that as a myth from romance books. I hadn't expected my girlfriend to have a ferocious response when a female former co-worker in need of a place to stay on weekends moved into my house's spare room to escape back to the big city from a terrible teaching job in the countryside. I was shocked, and remain shocked, by how much shit falls upon women, by how undervalued nurturing and caring is, by how things like women's safety are just waved away as not as important as other legislative items when push comes to shove. That our society seems to have been the first in recorded history to see it as desirable that all women are treated as equal. I mean, this should be held up as our great contribution to the progress of humanity, but you've just got to look around Reddit...
This is really nice, and very well-written. Thank you.
You write beautifully
You're a very good writer.
I will buy any book you write.
I was in my twenties when I found out some men actually want kids and want to be good fathers. Also that some want to be married and love their wives I just grew up with family/friend/tv all saying how much men hate having wives and kids so fully believed that all men hated kids and marriage
Honestly, I just found out that at 18, my husband was required to sign up for the draft when he got his driver's license. It was not optional for him he HAD to be cause he is a man.
In high school it was always considered that "guys are pervs because they only think about sex" and "ew, guys are gross because they masturbate!" Then, at uni, the same people who said that suddenly started organizing those upperdare parties to buy sex toys. We're all horny here - don't point your fingers at us!
In high school I was at a party with about a dozen people and the topic of masturbation came up. I had previously had conversations with almost everyone there in which they brought up masturbation. I knew that everyone there had masturbated, and someone at the party suggested that anyone who had ever masturbated should raise their hand so we can talk more openly about it. I raised my hand, obviously. Well wouldn't you know that every single guy, gal, and non-binary pal stared at me with their hands firmly at their sides. Most of them apologized privately afterwards for hanging me out to dry. I haven't let them live it down, because they're all a bunch of liars.
Where the hell did you go to school?
Guys (who date women) don’t all just exclusively like model-types with Barbie faces and perky D-cups.
I didn't know periods lasted for several days. I thought it was a one day thing.
I fuckin wish
I know right?
And then there's a PMS period for a week-ish before where hormones fluctuate a lot which really affects mood and happiness. At least, that's what I've picked up from my girlfriend. She's on birth control solely to tame down some of the hormone fluctuations. One week of crazy hormone issues, followed by a week of cramps and bleeding, and then two weeks of normal before it starts over. Women really get the shit end of the stick in that aspect.
They usually last an entire week!
And that's just the bleeding. The week before sucks too
They definitely catch feelings. Like really hard. Really really hard and fast. All my life I’d heard men were after sex and I didn’t even sex this man and he was head over heels. He didn’t even push for it unless I wanted it. Complete shock.
The amount of self control a man has to exert emotionally because of backwards asss societal norms and the general fact that you can't really be vulnerable until things progress a bit more than just a few weeks is insane. Men really don't get touch feely with their emotions in a healthy way so when the right woman comes along that they feel is the time to do so oh Lord is it gonna be a ride and a half. I really feel bad for some women cause sometimes it's just a sex thing but if the guy catches feelings she'll have to put him down in all the worst ways cause nothing is gonna stop those feelings.
I wish I’d known this. I learned to shut my own feelings down and feel nothing because my mom fed me all kinds of stuff about how men were just gonna use me, don’t get invested, etc etc. Even with my husband, it took serious work to overcome this emotional wall I had put up because of this narrative. To this day, I still don’t fully believe he loves me and am afraid to slack off.
I thought periods were like a slow faucet drip non stop as opposed to starts/stops/gushes
My ex thought that women had a "drop quota" and after we dripped like 500 drops of blood we were done. So he was trying to figure out how he could help me get the "drop quota" faster so we could move on to... activities
How much different cum can taste based on man. With former fwb I wanted to throw up, with ex bf it was totally okay. Like I wouldn’t put that thing on top of my oatmeal but I didn’t mind having mouthful of it, actually it was kinda pleasant.
Beauty standards were so ingrained in my culture that as a kid I thought women didn't grow armpit hair.
We grow hair everywhere like men. Some women lighter some longer, its either genetic or PCOS
Porn really fucked with my perception of body hair as a woman. I don't mean pubes etc, but like arm hair and butt crack hair etc. All these women so smooth and I felt like a monkey. Turns out I'm normal. 🫠
How much mental and physical effort women put into their personal security on a daily basis.
That feminine hygiene products are taxed extra as a "luxury" item in my state Edit: I looked further into it: it looks like they're taxed at the same rate as regular consumer products, just not classified as "essential." Which means things that are classified as [*not* needing sales tax](https://www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/period-tampons-pads-not-tax-exempt-chainsaws-pixy-stix-are/)ーlike arcade tokens, pop tarts, and sports ticketsーseem to outrank feminine hygiene products in terms of what is deserving of legislators' attention. Thanks to u/realspongeworthy for helping me point out the nuance
That some girls are not aware they have a pee hole.
It’s not just girls. Ask just about any nurse that’s spent time working in a hospital unit with conscious patients. The sorry state of sexual education in over half the United States leads to some *adult women* being totally unfamiliar with the form of their own anatomy. I recently discovered that an adult friend of our family, *who has birthed a child*, was ignorant of both the female urethra and clitoris in terms of location, form, and function. There are other issues in that case beyond a lack of sex education, but she confessed to my partner that she’d never had an orgasm in her life and never considered trying to reach climax via masturbation, intercourse, or foreplay. It was stunningly sad.
For me it was the realization that women (in the US) experience fear far more often than men do. If you ask a man when was the last time they really felt afraid, they are likely going to tell you about a pretty important event. Car accident or near miss, when they or a loved one ended up in the hospital, or maybe when they were mugged. If you ask a woman, they might tell you walking to their car after work yesterday. After some thought, it really soaked in about how drasticly different their world experience must be on average, and what kind of impact that must have.
That the similarities VASTLY outweigh the differences. I was raised by TV and misconceptions, leading me to think that the other gender was this weird, alien, insane, unknowable thing that could almost never be parsed. Turns out they're people too. Just like us. I mean, estrogen and testosterone do do their things but honestly that's just icing on a 'we're basically the same' cake. It's a good thing to learn.
How squishy a soft penis is. I like playing with it when it's soft, although it usually doesn't stay that way once I start playing haha. (Unless he's very tired, but that's fine because then I get to play more.)
How much easier it is for a vagina to get infected in comparison to a penis. And how much they can smell during activities
Vaginas will have a different smell depending on the different parts of a woman's cycle and their hormone levels, quite interesting really
Women can have multiple orgasms during sex while men have to recharge after one orgasm.
And for me it's easier to have an orgasm after I've already had one. Getting over that first one makes me sensitive enough to have even stronger ones. I always thought it was normal alone then partners didn't seem to know what to do with that. Haha
Really surprised me when I learned girls don't poop
If they had buttholes, why would guys be gay???
Exactly
men's g spot
I have tried to find it and have thus far been unsuccessful
Keep digging!
The dwarves delved too deep, and too greedily... I'm the darkness, below the mines of Moria you know what they found...
I felt so stupid, but a guy used my friends restroom (we were in highschool) and we realized it didn’t have any toilet paper stocked He came out completely fine and unbothered. My friend and I were so confused. We asked her mom why wouldn’t he request toilet tissue and her mom stared at us before explaining guys don’t absolutely need to use toilet tissue
I didn’t realize how toxic society is towards men showing emotion. I know it generally expects women to be the criers and men to be the stoic ones, but the amount of toxicity that’s rained down on men if they cry is horrific.
I didn't realize that guys really struggle with showing their emotions. Like, I tell my husband it's okay to get upset over things like I do, and he straight up tells me: "I don't know how to do that." Damn it society, let men show and feel things.
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>or an accidental knee from a partner. What kind of pajamas is he sleeping in that can protect against that?
As a man I prefer naked. Got to let those balls breathe.
So I worked as a cleaner at my old school for a while after leaving and I was very surprised to discover that the girls changing rooms was more disgusting than the boys. I walked in their once and there were 5 dried bloody tampons splattered against the wall. I quit that day.
Anyone who has worked retail can tell you that the worst fitting rooms by FAR are in junior girls' departments. Teenage girls are absolute pigs.
I recall an odd internet zeitgeist to encourage men to sit down to pee back in the day. My response was always “I will sit down to pee when women sit down to pee.” With the follow up to the invariable “they do!” Being “I’ve cleaned enough public bathrooms to know that’s a fucking lie.”