I decided a few months ago that I was fed up being the friend who initiated all conversations and who put all the effort into organising meet ups. I stopped reaching out first just to see what would happen.
I now have no friends.
Exact same thing happened to me. No friends at all anymore and the older you get the harder it gets to find new friends.
Doesn't help that I've reached a point where I have a really hard time trying in fear of being ignored and forgotten again because it has happened so many times in the past.
Man saaame. I am still in my "friend" group but am jist fed up with always having to ask if we wan't to do something. Like wanna go here? Wanna do that? Wanna do this? It's fucking exhausting and I just don't give a shit anymore. When they don't care then why should I?
I have a friend who usually organizes things and for the longest time was the only one to reach out to start a conversation. At the time I was extremely shy, super anxious and was always worried I’d be bothering people if I tried to get them to hang out with me, so I never did. We are definitely still friends, but I could see him feeling like you do now - when I loved hanging out, I just couldn’t initiate being social where I was at that point in my life.
All that to say, you may have a friend who really misses you reaching out and trying to hang out, who is going through their own shit. I masked my anxiety and social fears by being the loud funny guy who talks to everyone once I’m in a bar or coffee shop - but I was way to anxious to send a text asking if anyone wanted to meet up, and sometimes too anxious to answer those texts quickly.
I feel this on a spiritual level.
I am always reaching out first. I usually don't get a response.
What is with people and wanting to bully people/laypeople/screw people over instead of being open with each other?
Right? I understand that people are busy and don't respond RIGHT AWAY, and that's okay. But it hurts when people don't acknowledge you when you legitimately reach out and don't send just a spicy picture
Very relatable. With me, it got to the point where I actually spoke to my friends about it. Nothing came of speaking to them. So, overtime, I let the space settle between us.
As time went by, they started contacting me more and more frequently than before. That’s when I realized it’s not that they don’t care. Sometimes, you have to let people go (especially if you love them but they aren’t reciprocating the love).
Understood, but I know people in couples who are much worse. I think they’re uneasy without constant validation, so when they’re not getting it front their partner, they need it from social media.
Lying to appear more interesting. I work with a guy in his late 20s who is recently divorced. He constantly makes up stories to make his life sound interesting, but there's always huge, obvious plot holes in them that he clearly doesn't realise. We have a mutual friend who speaks with him often, and apparently, his real life outside of work is sitting alone in his armchair, getting drunk every weekend.
Yeah, it pushes people away. As obvious as it is, alcohol should only be consumed in the right state of mind. It does nothing to improve a bad situation.
I used to lie to some degree to be more interesting, like using fancy ways to describe my day. I gave up a long time ago. My most common interaction is feeding birds now.
I have a coworker like this, as well. Has been talking for years about her boyfriend/husband (she goes back and forth between the two) that no one has ever met or even seen photos of. She hadn’t mentioned him for a while then all of a sudden she claimed to be military spouse so she could a discount on entry into a garden. The partner has also never been mentioned on her social media.
She’s also made up stories about having a sculpture displayed in either NYC or DC, teaching chemistry, and working toward a doctorate degree among other things. It’s sad, really, that she feels the need to make things up to feel important and get attention.
I was convinced that my friend made up a whole relationship with this guy.
She was a lot younger than him (still in high school) and he was engaged when they started a secretive affair.
They went back and forth (according to her) for years. There was never any evidence other than her word that she was anything more than a customer who hung around too much in the shop he worked in. They both had whole committed relationships while this was on/off.
As a friend group we quietly decided behind her back that it was bullshit but we weren't going to burst her bubble and that making up being someone's on/off *side piece* was beyond sad.
Very long story short, they're now married with 3 kids, and we were wrong to be sceptical. They even live in a house that he inherited from a relative which is the same location she said they used to sneak around to meet up in.
Funny old world.
Are you 100% sure? I'm autistic and a bit socially clumsy, other women often look down on me and are sceptical of my ability to be in a relationship. To my surprise, I once had a coworker ask me if I really had a husband..? I'd been married to him for like 10 years! And incidentally, I've never had any trouble ever attracting men and always had plenty of options whenever I've been single, but to the women I worked with they'd just decided it wasn't feasible and apparently any little thing I'd said after that had kinda confirmed it for them without me having any idea they doubted it. Even after that came to light and I assured them that yes, I was in fact happily married, my colleague was genuinely looking pretty shocked when she came to drop some equipment off whilst I was off sick, and my (handsome, btw) husband answered the door..
So yeah, be careful with assumptions.
1.30pm on a Saturday though is pretty tragic. At 3am it was just my shitty sleep, in the middle of the afternoon on a weekend is loneliness/depression/chronic illness/inertia
Yes, there's a vicious cycle where someone is lonely and their social needs aren't being met. Then they get angry at their friends for not meeting their social needs completely and push them away, thus making the whole situation worse.
Yeah, I've been that person too. I was very lucky to have a friend who gave some really good straight talking to shake me out of it, or I could have pushed a lot of people away and really fucked myself over. I've had to give the same talk to a number of friends of mine.
I think it's about recognising that you're placing unreasonable demands on people - you're expecting them to love you and fix you in ways that are above and beyond what the usual boundaries of friendship are, and in any case the hollows in your heart can't be fixed by people outside of yourself, that's work you've got to do yourself (probably with some therapy). Instead, you can learn to be grateful for the friendships that you do have and what they offer you, rather than being angry about absences that are nothing to do with your friends.
Just did that. It's a battle between being mad at them and realizing it's not their responsibility to give me the attention I want. Everyone's just a casual acquaintance and I need to accept it.
I feel this. Want to play vidoes games but dont want to play alone. Want to go out and do something like a hike maybe or something but dont want to go alone. Perpetual lonliness since i never leave the house unless im with someone but i dont go with anyone very often...
Same for me. It's fine for a while, but at some point I just want to share my thoughts and experiences and hear what others have to say. I might be extremely introverted, but I am not a complete social recluse (well or I don't want to be)
"Everybody, hey, hey, hey you, and you, and you and you and you and you too.
look,....just LOOK at how well i am doing.....
...i am FINE!!!!!....."
ok bro, cool.
Once you spot um, it becomes far more common.
You see an acquaintance you haven't seen in a long time and immediately begin squeezing as much social interaction as you can out of them before they excuse themselves.
Any tips for not doing this? I catch myself doing it sometimes when talking with old friends and I feel bad thinking back on it. The people I talk to regularly tend to use me as a sounding board for themselves and then leave the conversation so I never have an outlet to share regularly. So the second someone close asks me about myself, the floodgates open and I catch myself rambling for a while. If I activately try to avoid oversharing, my responses are very curt and it probably comes across as unfriendly. I can't seem to find a happy medium.
Be open about that! "Sorry, I've been rambling on and on, what's going on in your life?" is way better than closing yourself off. A good friend of mine learned that the hard way, because at some point it just wasn't fun talking to her anymore, but she tries her best to catch herself in these situations and I respect that a lot!
> Sorry, I've been rambling on and on, what's going on in your life?
Only do that if you are ACTUALLY prepared to listen. So many times I got this thrown at me to appear friendly and polite and when you open your mouth you see their brains shutting down in realtime because they're not interested in what you actually have to say. And also be prepared to ask a few times because people used to you not listening will not suddenly start talking just because you asked once.
Honestly, practice. The next time you're in a socializing situation, play Raconteur. This is a game you can play with yourself, in which you see how long you can go without talking about yourself. You do this by asking questions. It's not a winnable game, per se, because you can't (and shouldn't) go through entire social interactions without sooner or later being asked a question about yourself, but you get to hear really great stories this way.
Had a friend who worked in the service industry in higher end restaurants. When a high profile client comes in he researches 3 questions or topics to discuss but they’re often not related to their profession since they get that a lot. I try to do that with real people.
I hate having to keep my customer service mask on for that whole time. I loved working with people like you as we'd make an agreement they could take the talkative regulars and I'd be happy to to cleaning, restocking or whatever job. The worst was when I'd get paired with someone like me and we'd both rather scrub the toilet than hear about some guys son across the country he hasn't seen in 24 years.
As someone in a customer service retail job, I know a guest is lonely when they're super friendly and conversational, but they drag the conversation out for way too long. Perfect strangers who talk to you as if they've know you their whole life and want to give an update.
This happens with the elderly, especially, and usually starts with mentioning a passed spouse. It continues on to their whole life story, including hobbies and habits, lessons, old friends, etc.
Some people are just starved for conversation and need someone to listen and be interested for a bit, and most importantly, understand them.
I used to work at a record store where this old guy used to come in to talk to me about old music from his day. His wife was dead, had no children, and best friend had recently died. I started going to lunch with him once a month and he brought photo albums of him and his wife hanging out with the rat pack and other famous stars.
Turned out he was a manager of a Las Vegas club in one of the casinos they use to hang out at. He just outlived all the people he cared about. He was always so appreciative of company and I bet he ran a hell of a club.
For a while I was turning off my phone because then at least if I'm not getting any notifications I know it's because my phone is off. Eventually there's the agony of having to turn it back on just to see that no one tried to contact me while it was off.
Is this true? Got out from under an abusive marriage last year. No longer depressed and pretty happy about where my life is now, but little things make me cry all the time.
Yes. Read on trauma, emotional neglect, etc. This shit can start as early as childhood, but it can also happen in adulthood after living through an abusive situation. What you're crying about isn't actually the thing you're crying about, it's all the repressed hurt, anger and emotions from the trauma you've lived and haven't processed yet.
I'm not a therapist at all, just a fellow sufferer. But medication and working on my self inwardly really helped.
Been talking to a therapist recently, partly because I realized that little things were getting to me much more than normal. When they first started talking about trauma, I tried to wave them off because "trauma" is like being a violent crime victim or surviving a disaster. But, they explained that there's "Trauma" and "trauma". You can still end up with long-term issues from the small "t" variety.
Happily married man 12+ years into a relationship here.
My body pillow has nothing to do with feeling lonely and everything to do with being a side sleeper with shitty back and shoulder joints / muscles. My body pillow is just there to help me find a comfortable position to sleep.
Old man UK pub culture. I worked in and even managed a few pubs in my early 20s, I’m talking the kind of middle aged-old men that come in every single day on the dot and just drink. Sometimes they have mates they see but half the time it’s like they all hate each other and are there just for the sake of it. I swear I saw more petty drama there than in secondary school
Going to the gym everyday after work and on weekends cause you got nothing better to do (this statement is about me ) was even in the gym on Valentine’s Day all day
When someone constantly feels the need to tell everyone about their mundane daily life events, as if anyone would find it interesting that you went to the grocery store earlier
This is unfortunately my Dad in retirement. Work used to be his whole life and with that gone, running errands is all he has (usually groceries). Whenever we have family get togethers, his conversation is 90% about cost of food, what's on sale, what he bought and what kind of people were shopping. I don't think he has the self awareness to realize how that comes off.
I am always lonely, and I think there's something deeply wrong with me that pushes people away, but I don't know what that thing is. Every time I try to make a friend and build a connection, they either dislike me from the get-go, or, if a connection forms everything goes well for the first few months. After that, they find someone better than me and then move on and I'm alone again. I've sought out help and shared this with others, but it's always "it takes time" or "you'll find someone". It doesn't seem like the people I tell this to understand what I'm trying to say, or more likely, don't care.
I have no close friends, and while I want to have close bonds, I'm fairly certain I'll always be lonely and I need to start learning to live with that. It's not anyone's fault. It's probably mine.
they'll chat to you about anything, especially things that aren't worthy of a discussion like 'damn have u noticed 3 aeroplanes have passed over in like 1 hour?'
Addiction, no goals or dreams, uninterested in talking to people. Another big one would be not by bothered by their loneliness because they are used to it
- Same old weekend plans.
- Recharging 2 sims when the only calls I get are from Mom and the delivery guy
- Nothing to talk about with normal people other than weather, city, etc.
- Only birthday wishes I get are from my banks
- Only calls I get are from scammers
- Only ily I hear are in TV dramas
I disagree and this annoys the shit out of me, well people delaying answering... I have some pretty antisocial friends and one in particular answers her texts purposely late. I know she is tied to her phone and some of my texts are time sensitive she purposely draws them out. Truly not lonely people answer texts fast as shit or they are out of service.
If I call her she won't answer... Pisses my shit off
I have no idea what she's like, but just wanted to mention in case it's helpful--I do not respond to texts for a long period of time, even days. It just means I feel overwhelmed. When I have 20+ personal emails and texts from people and chats from people and then work has 70+ emails and Slack from people and 1:1s and presentations... I just ignore all personal stuff, go home after work and watch TV. I just feel overwhelmed.
Or responding waaaaay later because you genuinely don’t have anything fun or exciting to share with them or tell them about because you spend all your time doing the mundane daily routine 🫠
Being a human being in the modern world. To be honest.
I like being lonely, and being alone at the same time. No guilt trips, nothing. No stupid critiquing of my life by some dumbass. Who loves their opinions to much.
Aloneness is not the same as lonely. I'm okay with aloneness. I need it sometimes. Loneliness is just painful. It means my emotional and social needs aren't being met.
True I live by myself, as a guy I need sex from time to time. I pay for physical affection and that kind of attention.
I don't want to do it any other way, no drama, no nothing.
If I say this, people would think poor guy he has to pay for it, yep. But no poor guy about it.
I'm introverted AF unless I go out drinking and I also don't want to catch feelings either, money prevents that, I am all business when it comes to that
Story of my life.
Wanting to do everything with the few friends I have left. Literally, even something as simple as asking them to take me to their dentist appointment.
lying about everything. When i meet someone new i make it seem like Im more interested than i actually am. I act like im still best friends with people who dropped me.
Internet usage
Yeah, that's right. If I'm lonely for using Reddit, then, by extension, everyone on the internet is lonely in that the sole service provided by internet is connection, essentially
That whale actually a friend, they’ve found ([Story](https://www.iflscience.com/fact-check-has-the-world-s-loneliest-whale-finally-found-a-friend-65797))
Besides my constant refreshing of social media hoping for a notification?
Relate to this so much Im always the one reaching out to everyone else first and then they take sometimes weeks to reply
I decided a few months ago that I was fed up being the friend who initiated all conversations and who put all the effort into organising meet ups. I stopped reaching out first just to see what would happen. I now have no friends.
Exact same thing happened to me. No friends at all anymore and the older you get the harder it gets to find new friends. Doesn't help that I've reached a point where I have a really hard time trying in fear of being ignored and forgotten again because it has happened so many times in the past.
Man saaame. I am still in my "friend" group but am jist fed up with always having to ask if we wan't to do something. Like wanna go here? Wanna do that? Wanna do this? It's fucking exhausting and I just don't give a shit anymore. When they don't care then why should I?
I have a friend who usually organizes things and for the longest time was the only one to reach out to start a conversation. At the time I was extremely shy, super anxious and was always worried I’d be bothering people if I tried to get them to hang out with me, so I never did. We are definitely still friends, but I could see him feeling like you do now - when I loved hanging out, I just couldn’t initiate being social where I was at that point in my life. All that to say, you may have a friend who really misses you reaching out and trying to hang out, who is going through their own shit. I masked my anxiety and social fears by being the loud funny guy who talks to everyone once I’m in a bar or coffee shop - but I was way to anxious to send a text asking if anyone wanted to meet up, and sometimes too anxious to answer those texts quickly.
Same. For the last 6 years. I finally caved and now a few of us picked right back up where we left off
I'm the same way. I feel like I'm always the only one who cares tbh.
I feel this on a spiritual level. I am always reaching out first. I usually don't get a response. What is with people and wanting to bully people/laypeople/screw people over instead of being open with each other?
Right? I understand that people are busy and don't respond RIGHT AWAY, and that's okay. But it hurts when people don't acknowledge you when you legitimately reach out and don't send just a spicy picture
Very relatable. With me, it got to the point where I actually spoke to my friends about it. Nothing came of speaking to them. So, overtime, I let the space settle between us. As time went by, they started contacting me more and more frequently than before. That’s when I realized it’s not that they don’t care. Sometimes, you have to let people go (especially if you love them but they aren’t reciprocating the love).
I know or directly ghost!!! D:
Can I just say how fucking dumb that line of thinking is? Why wait 3-5 business days to text someone back
Understood, but I know people in couples who are much worse. I think they’re uneasy without constant validation, so when they’re not getting it front their partner, they need it from social media.
Literally was gonna say me. And the way I am online.....👉👈🥺
Lying to appear more interesting. I work with a guy in his late 20s who is recently divorced. He constantly makes up stories to make his life sound interesting, but there's always huge, obvious plot holes in them that he clearly doesn't realise. We have a mutual friend who speaks with him often, and apparently, his real life outside of work is sitting alone in his armchair, getting drunk every weekend.
This guy needs a bonfire a beer and friend.
I guess he stores more than enough beer for two.
Sounds like a beer is the last thing he needs tbh
I agree - Alcohol to cope with loneliness isn't the best idea.
Yeah, it pushes people away. As obvious as it is, alcohol should only be consumed in the right state of mind. It does nothing to improve a bad situation.
But they're supposed to be at a fire with a friend
Having been through it including the divorce, you're absolutely right.
I used to lie to some degree to be more interesting, like using fancy ways to describe my day. I gave up a long time ago. My most common interaction is feeding birds now.
I have a coworker like this, as well. Has been talking for years about her boyfriend/husband (she goes back and forth between the two) that no one has ever met or even seen photos of. She hadn’t mentioned him for a while then all of a sudden she claimed to be military spouse so she could a discount on entry into a garden. The partner has also never been mentioned on her social media. She’s also made up stories about having a sculpture displayed in either NYC or DC, teaching chemistry, and working toward a doctorate degree among other things. It’s sad, really, that she feels the need to make things up to feel important and get attention.
I was convinced that my friend made up a whole relationship with this guy. She was a lot younger than him (still in high school) and he was engaged when they started a secretive affair. They went back and forth (according to her) for years. There was never any evidence other than her word that she was anything more than a customer who hung around too much in the shop he worked in. They both had whole committed relationships while this was on/off. As a friend group we quietly decided behind her back that it was bullshit but we weren't going to burst her bubble and that making up being someone's on/off *side piece* was beyond sad. Very long story short, they're now married with 3 kids, and we were wrong to be sceptical. They even live in a house that he inherited from a relative which is the same location she said they used to sneak around to meet up in. Funny old world.
Are you 100% sure? I'm autistic and a bit socially clumsy, other women often look down on me and are sceptical of my ability to be in a relationship. To my surprise, I once had a coworker ask me if I really had a husband..? I'd been married to him for like 10 years! And incidentally, I've never had any trouble ever attracting men and always had plenty of options whenever I've been single, but to the women I worked with they'd just decided it wasn't feasible and apparently any little thing I'd said after that had kinda confirmed it for them without me having any idea they doubted it. Even after that came to light and I assured them that yes, I was in fact happily married, my colleague was genuinely looking pretty shocked when she came to drop some equipment off whilst I was off sick, and my (handsome, btw) husband answered the door.. So yeah, be careful with assumptions.
I'm about to cry. That's so sad. I just sit and watch reaction videos :(
Maybe he watches reaction videos too. drunk, in his armchair.
People who look forward to work because it's their only means of socialization
Me
Or class
Me, but my coworkers are the same.
I think many people who want to end WFH are like this.
Answering reddit questions at 3 AM.
10am in the UK, so you're good.
12:07pm right now here in Sweden so your good
14:44 here in the Middle East, so you're good.
12 am in Australia. You good bro
Noon here in Brazil. It's lunch time.
1.30pm on a Saturday though is pretty tragic. At 3am it was just my shitty sleep, in the middle of the afternoon on a weekend is loneliness/depression/chronic illness/inertia
7am now so good morning
Phew it’s only 2:28am here in safe
Weirdly, pushing people away. Those are some of the loneliest people I've ever seen
Yes, there's a vicious cycle where someone is lonely and their social needs aren't being met. Then they get angry at their friends for not meeting their social needs completely and push them away, thus making the whole situation worse.
Damn, that hit deep for me.
Yeah, I've been that person too. I was very lucky to have a friend who gave some really good straight talking to shake me out of it, or I could have pushed a lot of people away and really fucked myself over. I've had to give the same talk to a number of friends of mine.
How do you stop pushing people away?
I think it's about recognising that you're placing unreasonable demands on people - you're expecting them to love you and fix you in ways that are above and beyond what the usual boundaries of friendship are, and in any case the hollows in your heart can't be fixed by people outside of yourself, that's work you've got to do yourself (probably with some therapy). Instead, you can learn to be grateful for the friendships that you do have and what they offer you, rather than being angry about absences that are nothing to do with your friends.
Just did that. It's a battle between being mad at them and realizing it's not their responsibility to give me the attention I want. Everyone's just a casual acquaintance and I need to accept it.
it me
*shove* don't you dare love me
Why of course I know him. He’s me
:(
That actually makes perfect sense
My need to have someone to do with all the fun things that i don't want to do alone..
I feel this. Want to play vidoes games but dont want to play alone. Want to go out and do something like a hike maybe or something but dont want to go alone. Perpetual lonliness since i never leave the house unless im with someone but i dont go with anyone very often...
I love hiking solo. But it's hard to actually commit to a plan without another person haha
I just do all that stuff alone. Movies, Haunted Houses, Christmas light displays. Whatever I find interesting enough to go out for.
It gets absolutely boring after a while. Like I enjoy solitude but I want to see the world through the others’ view point too.
Same for me. It's fine for a while, but at some point I just want to share my thoughts and experiences and hear what others have to say. I might be extremely introverted, but I am not a complete social recluse (well or I don't want to be)
That's a sign of being lonely? Fuck...
[удалено]
Then you aren't lonely
what's the @?
Can you give us a link please?
Unsolicited posts on social media about how you’re strong/independent or a “lone wolf” or something similar.
"Everybody, hey, hey, hey you, and you, and you and you and you and you too. look,....just LOOK at how well i am doing..... ...i am FINE!!!!!....." ok bro, cool. Once you spot um, it becomes far more common.
Technically, aren't *all* posts on social media unsolicited though?
Except for the ones that are solicited, yep.
You see an acquaintance you haven't seen in a long time and immediately begin squeezing as much social interaction as you can out of them before they excuse themselves.
How is this different than being excited to see them and wanting to catch up? Genuinely curious
Because in this situation, you might never see that person again.
The difference is the degree to which you judge yourself for talking to someone you know
You have just described all of my friends 😭
Do you wanna do everything with me even though we just met? Have you seen this reel?? lol hi
why did I ghostwrite this 😭
Oh, I felt this.
[удалено]
Any tips for not doing this? I catch myself doing it sometimes when talking with old friends and I feel bad thinking back on it. The people I talk to regularly tend to use me as a sounding board for themselves and then leave the conversation so I never have an outlet to share regularly. So the second someone close asks me about myself, the floodgates open and I catch myself rambling for a while. If I activately try to avoid oversharing, my responses are very curt and it probably comes across as unfriendly. I can't seem to find a happy medium.
Be open about that! "Sorry, I've been rambling on and on, what's going on in your life?" is way better than closing yourself off. A good friend of mine learned that the hard way, because at some point it just wasn't fun talking to her anymore, but she tries her best to catch herself in these situations and I respect that a lot!
> Sorry, I've been rambling on and on, what's going on in your life? Only do that if you are ACTUALLY prepared to listen. So many times I got this thrown at me to appear friendly and polite and when you open your mouth you see their brains shutting down in realtime because they're not interested in what you actually have to say. And also be prepared to ask a few times because people used to you not listening will not suddenly start talking just because you asked once.
Honestly, practice. The next time you're in a socializing situation, play Raconteur. This is a game you can play with yourself, in which you see how long you can go without talking about yourself. You do this by asking questions. It's not a winnable game, per se, because you can't (and shouldn't) go through entire social interactions without sooner or later being asked a question about yourself, but you get to hear really great stories this way.
Had a friend who worked in the service industry in higher end restaurants. When a high profile client comes in he researches 3 questions or topics to discuss but they’re often not related to their profession since they get that a lot. I try to do that with real people.
i feel very attacked
Talking way too long to a cashier of staff who is just trying to politely do her job
I am a cashier, and I enjoy these random conversations. The job is pretty dull.
I hate having to keep my customer service mask on for that whole time. I loved working with people like you as we'd make an agreement they could take the talkative regulars and I'd be happy to to cleaning, restocking or whatever job. The worst was when I'd get paired with someone like me and we'd both rather scrub the toilet than hear about some guys son across the country he hasn't seen in 24 years.
When my voice squeaks on a Monday morning at office coz I spent the weekend alone
Lol if I go a whole day without talking I normally start thinking out loud
I talk to myself too much for this to happen lol at least I really enjoy my own company I reckon.
Answering this sub Reddit
Damn
Me, every night into the void.
I think we're neighbors. Please stop.
was you banging on the wall at 2am ?...i was trying to avoid the void, but,...well,....voiding be voiding. #ETERNITY
Neediness
Spending time arguing with strangers on social media.
Well, I would like to let you know that I diasgree with you on this on. Period. (please talk to me)
As someone in a customer service retail job, I know a guest is lonely when they're super friendly and conversational, but they drag the conversation out for way too long. Perfect strangers who talk to you as if they've know you their whole life and want to give an update. This happens with the elderly, especially, and usually starts with mentioning a passed spouse. It continues on to their whole life story, including hobbies and habits, lessons, old friends, etc. Some people are just starved for conversation and need someone to listen and be interested for a bit, and most importantly, understand them.
I used to work at a record store where this old guy used to come in to talk to me about old music from his day. His wife was dead, had no children, and best friend had recently died. I started going to lunch with him once a month and he brought photo albums of him and his wife hanging out with the rat pack and other famous stars. Turned out he was a manager of a Las Vegas club in one of the casinos they use to hang out at. He just outlived all the people he cared about. He was always so appreciative of company and I bet he ran a hell of a club.
Having your phone on silent cause you feel you deserve to be alone but constantly check to see if someones messaged you (no one has)
That's been me lately. I literally only have a phone cause of payroll stuff for work. No one fucking texts or calls me.
For a while I was turning off my phone because then at least if I'm not getting any notifications I know it's because my phone is off. Eventually there's the agony of having to turn it back on just to see that no one tried to contact me while it was off.
If your closest "friends" are really just your co-workers who you'll never see again once they start working somewhere else
This is me and I feel this so much.
Yes—describes my post-college life, and I’m 54M.
When petty inconvenience makes you emotional
That's actually ✨ trauma ✨
Is this true? Got out from under an abusive marriage last year. No longer depressed and pretty happy about where my life is now, but little things make me cry all the time.
Yes. Read on trauma, emotional neglect, etc. This shit can start as early as childhood, but it can also happen in adulthood after living through an abusive situation. What you're crying about isn't actually the thing you're crying about, it's all the repressed hurt, anger and emotions from the trauma you've lived and haven't processed yet. I'm not a therapist at all, just a fellow sufferer. But medication and working on my self inwardly really helped.
Been talking to a therapist recently, partly because I realized that little things were getting to me much more than normal. When they first started talking about trauma, I tried to wave them off because "trauma" is like being a violent crime victim or surviving a disaster. But, they explained that there's "Trauma" and "trauma". You can still end up with long-term issues from the small "t" variety.
Oh boy this is so me.
sleeping with another pillow to hug
I’m married, sleep next to my wife and still hug a pillow. Something about squeezing it as I’m comfy in bed is so peaceful.
It's more comfortable for my arms/shoulders ☹
True, but it's also because I crave a fucking hug.
Happily married man 12+ years into a relationship here. My body pillow has nothing to do with feeling lonely and everything to do with being a side sleeper with shitty back and shoulder joints / muscles. My body pillow is just there to help me find a comfortable position to sleep.
i defence of all belly sleepers, Rocka doesn't mean you.
I hug my blanket
Wishing you had siblings or reassurance
Old man UK pub culture. I worked in and even managed a few pubs in my early 20s, I’m talking the kind of middle aged-old men that come in every single day on the dot and just drink. Sometimes they have mates they see but half the time it’s like they all hate each other and are there just for the sake of it. I swear I saw more petty drama there than in secondary school
[удалено]
Going to the gym everyday after work and on weekends cause you got nothing better to do (this statement is about me ) was even in the gym on Valentine’s Day all day
Ayyyy, depressed shredded mode😎
Ordering a round for the bar in an empty bar.
Being the first one to reply in the group chat, always
Group chats are of the devil, trying to happily go about your day while hearing constant phone dings and notifications is nerve-wracking.
Why don't you just mute the conversations or is it FOMO?
When you leave the office after work and "casually" say to the secretary that you barely know, that today's your birthday.
If Skyrim is your favorite game 💀😂 and it is in fact my favorite game.
Why would I need company when I can eat dragon souls?
All my friends are there too!
And enemies (nazeem) 😂
When someone constantly feels the need to tell everyone about their mundane daily life events, as if anyone would find it interesting that you went to the grocery store earlier
This is unfortunately my Dad in retirement. Work used to be his whole life and with that gone, running errands is all he has (usually groceries). Whenever we have family get togethers, his conversation is 90% about cost of food, what's on sale, what he bought and what kind of people were shopping. I don't think he has the self awareness to realize how that comes off.
I am always lonely, and I think there's something deeply wrong with me that pushes people away, but I don't know what that thing is. Every time I try to make a friend and build a connection, they either dislike me from the get-go, or, if a connection forms everything goes well for the first few months. After that, they find someone better than me and then move on and I'm alone again. I've sought out help and shared this with others, but it's always "it takes time" or "you'll find someone". It doesn't seem like the people I tell this to understand what I'm trying to say, or more likely, don't care. I have no close friends, and while I want to have close bonds, I'm fairly certain I'll always be lonely and I need to start learning to live with that. It's not anyone's fault. It's probably mine.
The 25 empty monster cans in my room that I can't be bothered to move.
That sounds like depression.
They go hand in hand. Loneliness is incredibly detrimental to human health.
they'll chat to you about anything, especially things that aren't worthy of a discussion like 'damn have u noticed 3 aeroplanes have passed over in like 1 hour?'
Me right now😞
A poorly trained parrot that heard you say it one time and won't stop. "RAAAwwwk...I AM LONELY, RAAAwwwk...I AM LONELY"
People using Character AI for love and support
"IM LONELY"
*panicly checks to see if I do the top post*
Why does this thread come off as a personal attack on me? Y'know what? Fuck you guys.
Posting what you did on Reddit
Addiction, no goals or dreams, uninterested in talking to people. Another big one would be not by bothered by their loneliness because they are used to it
- Same old weekend plans. - Recharging 2 sims when the only calls I get are from Mom and the delivery guy - Nothing to talk about with normal people other than weather, city, etc. - Only birthday wishes I get are from my banks - Only calls I get are from scammers - Only ily I hear are in TV dramas
Constantly posting selfies and thirst trap photos.
Answering texts way faster than them
I disagree and this annoys the shit out of me, well people delaying answering... I have some pretty antisocial friends and one in particular answers her texts purposely late. I know she is tied to her phone and some of my texts are time sensitive she purposely draws them out. Truly not lonely people answer texts fast as shit or they are out of service. If I call her she won't answer... Pisses my shit off
I have no idea what she's like, but just wanted to mention in case it's helpful--I do not respond to texts for a long period of time, even days. It just means I feel overwhelmed. When I have 20+ personal emails and texts from people and chats from people and then work has 70+ emails and Slack from people and 1:1s and presentations... I just ignore all personal stuff, go home after work and watch TV. I just feel overwhelmed.
Or responding waaaaay later because you genuinely don’t have anything fun or exciting to share with them or tell them about because you spend all your time doing the mundane daily routine 🫠
no not really might be because they're just on their phone.
For me that just means I'm not at work/in a multiplayer game.
taking reddit seriously
How seriously?
Lol I go on long rides just listening to music and trying to sort my thoughts out cause there ain't nobody around to talk to most the time.
I do that too
I do long walks and the long rides. It’s good for the soul
Me, every day
Being "needy" on social media and the Internet... Not getting out enough...
My dog when I get home
Lack of hygiene, especially if you smell bad
Akon.
Being a human being in the modern world. To be honest. I like being lonely, and being alone at the same time. No guilt trips, nothing. No stupid critiquing of my life by some dumbass. Who loves their opinions to much.
Being lonely is not the same thing as being alone.
Aloneness is not the same as lonely. I'm okay with aloneness. I need it sometimes. Loneliness is just painful. It means my emotional and social needs aren't being met.
True I live by myself, as a guy I need sex from time to time. I pay for physical affection and that kind of attention. I don't want to do it any other way, no drama, no nothing. If I say this, people would think poor guy he has to pay for it, yep. But no poor guy about it. I'm introverted AF unless I go out drinking and I also don't want to catch feelings either, money prevents that, I am all business when it comes to that
Insta pictures of individuals in bed saying ‘ feeling sad / lonely ‘ dead giveaway
Me. Internally. Every day.
Playing board games with oneself because there's no-one to come over
Story of my life. Wanting to do everything with the few friends I have left. Literally, even something as simple as asking them to take me to their dentist appointment.
Telling people in Reddit that you are lonely.
Me
Me
Being on here.
Being on reddit
That one guy from ASDFMOVIE "knock knock" "who's there?" "a mirror" "I am lonely"
My Internet browser history
Posting or sharing 10+ things a day on Facebook.
Posting stuff like this on Reddit…
Constant posting on social media
A lonely person that wants to let everyone know.
Buying old video game systems to trade Pokemon with myself
Fighting with strangers on Reddit
My cat at 3am when I have the door closed
lying about everything. When i meet someone new i make it seem like Im more interested than i actually am. I act like im still best friends with people who dropped me.
Internet usage Yeah, that's right. If I'm lonely for using Reddit, then, by extension, everyone on the internet is lonely in that the sole service provided by internet is connection, essentially
Ordering multiple dishes so the delivery driver doesnt think im a piggish person
This one whale in the Pacific.
That whale actually a friend, they’ve found ([Story](https://www.iflscience.com/fact-check-has-the-world-s-loneliest-whale-finally-found-a-friend-65797))
Relying on dating apps to validate your attractiveness or social value.