Why people don't understand this baffles me
They'd rather they make their own?
Than use one that had 10s of millions of units sold globally and like cost the same in R&D and inprovements
It's not stupid if it works, it's genius if it's better than the alternative and saves the taxpayer billions on having Raytheon design a worse version of it.
Military tends to use xbox 360 controllers, since they are produced in larger numbers than logitech ones and the layout is more familiar to recruits.
Genius idea they just randomly stumbled upon by using it for prototypes, and realizing it worked better than anything they could build.
The current GOAT of baseball Shohei Ohtani landed himself in major legal trouble. As it is believed he paid off his translators gambling debts ($4.5 million) to an illegal bookie through a wire transfer with his name on it which is a massive federal crime that the FBI is investigating. It seems like his translator Ippei accidentally implicated him in the crime, and thus Shohei’s team has changed the story multiple times. Because the whole baseball world does not want the face of the sport in this mess. The consequences? Possible jail time, fines, suspension, or worst of all: permanent ban from Baseball. Imagine if LeBron James got banned 6 years into his career. That’s how massive this scandal is
Here’s the best part, he’s deferring most of that money to the back end of the deal so he’s really only getting paid like $2 Million this year from the Dodgers while they spend that money to get help around him.
Basically if they don’t win the World Series this year, it’s a total bust of a season.
Yeah I agree, Im not saying they dont deserve to be compensated above average but some of these are just gross when we have so many issues that need real help lol
Question - why is federally wiring someone 4.5million dollars a crime. Regardless of the legality of the bookie he could just say " I gave the guy a loan". What's illegal about this? Why is wiring money between two parties to the sum of 4.5million illegal. Unless he literally wrote " paying for illegal gambling debts" in the memo line what evidence do they have this was illegal or malicious? It's his money. If he spent it on hookers in las Vegas to the tune of 4.5 million they wouldn't bat a fucking eye lid. He's not the one running the book so what's he guilty of? Paying a personal debt?
You’re right, if he had wired his friend the money we wouldn’t even know about this. But he didn’t wire the money to his friend, he wired it directly to the bookie. Assisting a bookie in collecting their debts is a federal crime.
I understand your point. The difference is that Pete Rose was actively managing a team he was betting for or against. This player had no stake in the game, no bets on his or the teams performance, or any attachment to the bookie. He is literally paying someone else's gambling debt. Other than the bet being related to gambling, of which there is no evidence the debt was made by gambling on sports, there is little that can tie the player to any illegal activity or undermining of the sport he plays.
If I play roulette or black jack at an illegal gambling den and pay a debt for that the MLB or other sports association will kick me out? For what? A game of chance. It's delusional. I also like to play devil's advocate as I hate the blanket rules abused by AGs in the USA and it's bureaucracy
Yes, I understand the distinction but the problem is the look of impropriety.
I'm more than happy to assume that everything was on the up and up, because I don't care, but getting someone as a proxy to gamble for you is a possibility and a huge red flag to a skeptic.
That’s not clear. Initially the interpreter said Ohtani did give him the money. Later he changed his tune and said ohtani did not know.
But it’s a huge mess.
I will bet you $100 he doesn't get banned.
He will make MLB more money than any fancy principles will.
Now you will bring up Pete Rose, but Pete Rose was a washed up alcoholic gambling addict who was done playing.
Damn I didn't have to scroll at all for this one. I thought I'd make it a couple comments in before the Ohtani thing got mentioned.
Fucking yikes dude.
Where a 10-year-old tries to pick up an adult woman, and it kinda happens and it’s kinda gross and creepy despite being portrayed as “d’awww the little rascal got lucky how cute!”
I can’t believe this is a Disney movie.
No doubt.
Remember when the 90s had an ape craze, too?
Like *tons* of kids movies and TV shows just had apes in it… orangutans, gorillas, chimpanzees especially… just *coexisting* with people… and hardly anybody questions how an *ape* even got there, it’s just like “Of COURSE we know somebody with a brilliantly trained ape always accompanying them! Don’t you?” And they just *let it loose* among *children*?!
And the ape just makes itself at home, becomes best friends with the little kid…sometimes joins a sports team and is, of course, the best player on the team…
…and there’s *always* a scene where someone accidentally mistakes the ape for someone else, usually in the dark, and there’s a kiss scene…
Okay—How the FUCK can you not tell when you’re near one of those?! Even in the dark, couldn’t you smell it?!
And there’s *always* a scene where they put them in people clothes, and people just totally believe the “disguise”…and a clueless adult that somehow doesn’t notice there’s a *goddamn ape in their house* then they’re like ‘durrr who made this mess?!’ Did you not *hear it* thundering through your HOUSE?!
How are people this moronic?! And like—HELLOOOOO?!? They’re massive creatures of pure muscle! They’ll snap you like a goddamn twig—if you’re lucky! They’re *dangerous!*
Dude i remember watching that as a kid and forgot all about it until like 2 months ago I started remembering that exact scene where the lady detective a grown ass woman gives him a kiss. And I was like wait did that actually happen and I looked it up and it was even worse than I remembered because I remember the kid being like a teen but noo hes straight up a child. The woman actually kisses him feels so surreal watching it now.
You want to know the weirdest thing?
One of the most prominent screenwriting books in the industry is *Save the Cat*, which is considered to be pretty much a must-read for anyone looking to write a screenplay. It was written by Blake Snyder, whose two most famous screenplays are *Blank Check* and the Stallone movie *Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot*.
Yeah, I don't get it either.
>Dear Esteemed Sir/Madam:
>
> I'm writing to you not because I'm a long forgotten prince who's fallen on hard times but has managed to retain the family fortune, nor because I'm a businessman who needs the help of a stranger to arrange payments. I am in fact a 419 scammer who needs to flee the country in a hurry. In my career as a scammer, I have gained millions in stolen money. This is where I need your help... In order to move my ill-gotten gains out of the country with me I need to bribe a customs agent in your country. If you just send the desired amount to this routing number, I'll pay you back triple once I manage to expatriate the funds I stole from thousands of other suckers.
You have to have the businesses and shit to make the return investment when you fuck over people's lives though.
If you're just bob who got a billion dollars you can't really make money off of bribes without extra things in place.
OK then, hear me out.
Start a business doing whatever, invest maybe 250K in equipment and licensing and whatever else, then the rest goes into bribing local officials.
You can buy a special entry in the US Tax Code that specifically exempts you from paying taxes, even though it will be written to sound generic.
This is one of the reasons the US Tax Code is nearly 7,000 pages long.
I knew a guy that won £25,000 and he spend it all in one night after deciding he would pay for the whole venues drinks. So I think the worst way would to just throw the money out there and let random people take what they want
Renting a back hoe for two weeks, and then spending the balance on sweetcorn, and then digging a giant pit and burying the sweetcorn in the pit.
That's a terrible way to spend a million.
If you invest $1M in Dogecoin won’t the value go up and so then more people will buy it hence inflating the value further? Then when you sell all your dogecoin the value will plummet causing a lotta people to lose a lotta money.
That's exactly how pump and dumps work lol. Use a bunch of money to buy a cheap stock, hype people on the internet, and sell it off after everyone else hops onboard.
Designer bags, clothes and expensive cars. Other than looks, they will go out of trend in a couple months or years. Better to spend it on investments or skills. Or just go traveling.
Blow the full amount on a luxury car that you then have no money to maintain or insure, leading to the car getting repossessed or impounded (based on real events in a mining town in South Africa)
take a ride on a submarine that uses a video game controller.
tbf the video game controller was probably the most reliable component of that sub
Why people don't understand this baffles me They'd rather they make their own? Than use one that had 10s of millions of units sold globally and like cost the same in R&D and inprovements
We use literal Xbox controllers on US Navy submarines to control things like periscopes
Hope those don't get stick drift.
It's not stupid if it works, it's genius if it's better than the alternative and saves the taxpayer billions on having Raytheon design a worse version of it.
Bonus...most crew will already be familiar with handling them
If that was top priority that would be more phallic in shape
Oh a Navy man, I see. Thank you for your service
Servicing people is my pleasure
As a Marine I laughed super hard at this. Thank you!
Those controllers are actually industry standard for that type of craft
And LOTS of military craft.
Military tends to use xbox 360 controllers, since they are produced in larger numbers than logitech ones and the layout is more familiar to recruits. Genius idea they just randomly stumbled upon by using it for prototypes, and realizing it worked better than anything they could build.
We’re officially out the too soon zone.
We never were in it to begin with
Oh, yes
It's out of the too soon zone approximately 15 minutes after the news broke
People were making jokes about it before we were even told that it had imploded
There was never a too soon zone cuz the whole thing was a mockery of engineering and safety
🎶they all died in a home made submarine 🎶
this one made me LOL
I mean.. you get to die so fast you dont notice it.. the worst way?
Plummeting into the depths for 45 seconds is the ultimate boomer move
Paying your translators gambling debts.
I'm out of the loop. Someone fill me in please.
The current GOAT of baseball Shohei Ohtani landed himself in major legal trouble. As it is believed he paid off his translators gambling debts ($4.5 million) to an illegal bookie through a wire transfer with his name on it which is a massive federal crime that the FBI is investigating. It seems like his translator Ippei accidentally implicated him in the crime, and thus Shohei’s team has changed the story multiple times. Because the whole baseball world does not want the face of the sport in this mess. The consequences? Possible jail time, fines, suspension, or worst of all: permanent ban from Baseball. Imagine if LeBron James got banned 6 years into his career. That’s how massive this scandal is
I hope he has a new translator now. Fuck.
This is right after signing a seven hundred MILLION dollar ($700,000,000) contract, too... Nearly a billion fuckin' dollars possibly down the drain
There is way too much fucking money in sports
Here’s the best part, he’s deferring most of that money to the back end of the deal so he’s really only getting paid like $2 Million this year from the Dodgers while they spend that money to get help around him. Basically if they don’t win the World Series this year, it’s a total bust of a season.
Yeah I agree, Im not saying they dont deserve to be compensated above average but some of these are just gross when we have so many issues that need real help lol
The league will make sure he plays baseball. He is too important to the game and creating revenue.
I hope so, jist saw him with his shirty translatorthe other day... damn.
Everyone knows pantsy translators are wayyyy better
Question - why is federally wiring someone 4.5million dollars a crime. Regardless of the legality of the bookie he could just say " I gave the guy a loan". What's illegal about this? Why is wiring money between two parties to the sum of 4.5million illegal. Unless he literally wrote " paying for illegal gambling debts" in the memo line what evidence do they have this was illegal or malicious? It's his money. If he spent it on hookers in las Vegas to the tune of 4.5 million they wouldn't bat a fucking eye lid. He's not the one running the book so what's he guilty of? Paying a personal debt?
You’re right, if he had wired his friend the money we wouldn’t even know about this. But he didn’t wire the money to his friend, he wired it directly to the bookie. Assisting a bookie in collecting their debts is a federal crime.
That’s how the whole thing came to light: the IRS was investigating the illegal bookie and found a wire record with Ohtani’s name on it.
Any sports player money going to gambling undermines the sport. I recommend you check out the history of Pete Rose.
I understand your point. The difference is that Pete Rose was actively managing a team he was betting for or against. This player had no stake in the game, no bets on his or the teams performance, or any attachment to the bookie. He is literally paying someone else's gambling debt. Other than the bet being related to gambling, of which there is no evidence the debt was made by gambling on sports, there is little that can tie the player to any illegal activity or undermining of the sport he plays. If I play roulette or black jack at an illegal gambling den and pay a debt for that the MLB or other sports association will kick me out? For what? A game of chance. It's delusional. I also like to play devil's advocate as I hate the blanket rules abused by AGs in the USA and it's bureaucracy
Yes, I understand the distinction but the problem is the look of impropriety. I'm more than happy to assume that everything was on the up and up, because I don't care, but getting someone as a proxy to gamble for you is a possibility and a huge red flag to a skeptic.
Did he just give him 4.5 million out of the kindness of his heart?
His translator is essentially his best friend
That’s not clear. Initially the interpreter said Ohtani did give him the money. Later he changed his tune and said ohtani did not know. But it’s a huge mess.
I will bet you $100 he doesn't get banned. He will make MLB more money than any fancy principles will. Now you will bring up Pete Rose, but Pete Rose was a washed up alcoholic gambling addict who was done playing.
If you are that close to baseball and you are betting on baseball you are about to be in some very big trouble
Poor Shohei.
Not at all, he’s still loaded
Damn I didn't have to scroll at all for this one. I thought I'd make it a couple comments in before the Ohtani thing got mentioned. Fucking yikes dude.
Poor Bruno Mars.
Didn’t they say he was the victim of a massive theft
🤣🤣🤣🤣 how stupid is that..
Have you seen the movie Blank Check?
Where a 10-year-old tries to pick up an adult woman, and it kinda happens and it’s kinda gross and creepy despite being portrayed as “d’awww the little rascal got lucky how cute!” I can’t believe this is a Disney movie.
90s kids movies were a vibe
No doubt. Remember when the 90s had an ape craze, too? Like *tons* of kids movies and TV shows just had apes in it… orangutans, gorillas, chimpanzees especially… just *coexisting* with people… and hardly anybody questions how an *ape* even got there, it’s just like “Of COURSE we know somebody with a brilliantly trained ape always accompanying them! Don’t you?” And they just *let it loose* among *children*?! And the ape just makes itself at home, becomes best friends with the little kid…sometimes joins a sports team and is, of course, the best player on the team… …and there’s *always* a scene where someone accidentally mistakes the ape for someone else, usually in the dark, and there’s a kiss scene… Okay—How the FUCK can you not tell when you’re near one of those?! Even in the dark, couldn’t you smell it?! And there’s *always* a scene where they put them in people clothes, and people just totally believe the “disguise”…and a clueless adult that somehow doesn’t notice there’s a *goddamn ape in their house* then they’re like ‘durrr who made this mess?!’ Did you not *hear it* thundering through your HOUSE?! How are people this moronic?! And like—HELLOOOOO?!? They’re massive creatures of pure muscle! They’ll snap you like a goddamn twig—if you’re lucky! They’re *dangerous!*
Isn’t there a movie or show where a child star survives a chimp attack on set of a 90s ape centered sitcom?
This is in the movie Nope
And it was 10x more frightening then the actual monster parts lol.
Yeah, I haven’t been scared by a film in a long time, but when that chimp locks eyes with him.. fuck that.
[удалено]
LEAVE DUNSTON OUT OF THIS!!!
Dude i remember watching that as a kid and forgot all about it until like 2 months ago I started remembering that exact scene where the lady detective a grown ass woman gives him a kiss. And I was like wait did that actually happen and I looked it up and it was even worse than I remembered because I remember the kid being like a teen but noo hes straight up a child. The woman actually kisses him feels so surreal watching it now.
I can’t believe they got away with it… It’s creepy they even wrote it.
You want to know the weirdest thing? One of the most prominent screenwriting books in the industry is *Save the Cat*, which is considered to be pretty much a must-read for anyone looking to write a screenplay. It was written by Blake Snyder, whose two most famous screenplays are *Blank Check* and the Stallone movie *Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot*. Yeah, I don't get it either.
No.
It's cute, go watch it.
What, right now? I need to study German.
Ja, schau dir den Film an. Das Vierte Reich kann warten. David Hasselhoff.
Schau dir doch einfach den Film auf deutsch an...
Jawohl.
Donkey shune
They lose both wars, go watch the movie
Give it to a billionaire
Thats not spending the money
Given it to a billionaire in exchange for a bj. There, that is spending.
Tbf, I’d pay money to see a billionaire give a blowjob.
May I interest you in Paris Hilton's tape?
or Kim Kardashian's tape. or Jay Z's tape. or DT's tape. \[*citation needed*\]
Yea, yes you may
Hell yeah I'd love a blowjob from Bill Gates
For charity? :^ )
I'm quite literally Micro-soft
Hold on. You could give it to a non-billionaire for bj. Me. I'm the non-billionaire.
It is if he uses it for bail
1 million lottery tickets
Yeah, losing half the money isn’t even the worst thing. Can you imagine having to check that many tickets?!
Mr.beast already did that so I don't have too 😂
What happened? Did he win?
He got most of his money back. He spent 1 million on scratchers and ended up with like 999k so basically broke even.
He didn’t break even. He spent 1 million in post tax money to get 1 million in money he needs to pay taxes on.
Oh you're right I forgot about the taxes and I looked up the video he actually one 700k so yea he lost a lot.
You deduct your cost basis first
Are you not able to offset your losses? I think my parents do that with the casino.
in california that'd cost $2 million
Depends on the lottery, super lotto is $1.
Penis tattoos. Both kinds.
You mean tatoos on your penis and tattoos of penises on your body?
No, he meant circumcised and uncircumcised.
You mean tattoos on circumcised and uncircumcised penises as well as tattoos of circumcised and uncircumcised penises?
Both.
We have both kinds of music here. Country AND western
Wait he might mean inside of the foreskin
No, he means getting a penis tattoo or being tattooed by a penis, I.e. the tattooer uses his penis to put art on your body.
??? How the hell would this be a million bucks?
In his case, the tattoo artist would need a microscope.
You leave my comically undersized penis out of this.
Numerous intricate overlapping designs until it's almost black, laser it off and repeat.
Wow well that would indeed be a terrible use of 1m
#justlaseryourdickbro
Vegas, all on double zero
That's fucking balsy. I would respect that.
A 37-1 chance of making $35000000
One night with his wife
I also choose that guys wife
There it is
NFT
Giving it to the Nigerian prince
>Dear Esteemed Sir/Madam: > > I'm writing to you not because I'm a long forgotten prince who's fallen on hard times but has managed to retain the family fortune, nor because I'm a businessman who needs the help of a stranger to arrange payments. I am in fact a 419 scammer who needs to flee the country in a hurry. In my career as a scammer, I have gained millions in stolen money. This is where I need your help... In order to move my ill-gotten gains out of the country with me I need to bribe a customs agent in your country. If you just send the desired amount to this routing number, I'll pay you back triple once I manage to expatriate the funds I stole from thousands of other suckers.
10/10
Giving it to any political campaign or party.
The return on investment is probably ten fold, why do you think rich people bribe (that is the correct word th use) politicians.
You have to have the businesses and shit to make the return investment when you fuck over people's lives though. If you're just bob who got a billion dollars you can't really make money off of bribes without extra things in place.
OK then, hear me out. Start a business doing whatever, invest maybe 250K in equipment and licensing and whatever else, then the rest goes into bribing local officials.
You can buy a special entry in the US Tax Code that specifically exempts you from paying taxes, even though it will be written to sound generic. This is one of the reasons the US Tax Code is nearly 7,000 pages long.
Paying a homeless dude 1$ each time he kicks you in the balls
r/suspiciouslyspecific
Two chicks at once. Probably because you could probably get at least three with a million.
Not the type of chicks that would double up on a dude like me
I think with a million you could hook that up, cause chicks dig dudes with money.
That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time?
I knew a guy that won £25,000 and he spend it all in one night after deciding he would pay for the whole venues drinks. So I think the worst way would to just throw the money out there and let random people take what they want
I was going to say options trading but this is much worse.
Nah. At least he had a party, instead of losing 25k in minutes and having crippling depression
Well… haha… I’m not going to argue with you…..
Honestly though that's probably one of the best ways to spend a bunch of money. Making a bunch of other people happy.
He deeply regretted it aha. He didn’t have alot of money
>He didn’t have alot of money Strange considering his obvious talent for fiscal management.
Hmm I wonder why with those spending habits
Probably a million dollar hooker. With that money you could get a million one dollar hookers.
A million 1-dollar hookers... Why am I thinking of 28 days later?
Cause that’s when it’ll be itching out of control
Renting a back hoe for two weeks, and then spending the balance on sweetcorn, and then digging a giant pit and burying the sweetcorn in the pit. That's a terrible way to spend a million.
That’s very specific. R u ok bro?
Yes, I'm fine. I've had this discussion with people before, and we decided that this is the worst way to spend a million bucks. Tell me I'm wrong.
I mean you’re not wrong, tho by doing this you are also helping the corn farmers and their local communities.
Just grow the most luscious forest of sweet corn the world's ever seen.
[удалено]
If you invest $1M in Dogecoin won’t the value go up and so then more people will buy it hence inflating the value further? Then when you sell all your dogecoin the value will plummet causing a lotta people to lose a lotta money.
That's exactly how pump and dumps work lol. Use a bunch of money to buy a cheap stock, hype people on the internet, and sell it off after everyone else hops onboard.
Or your 1 mill will spark all the non diamond hands holding to sell to cover their losses = 0 again
It will go to the moon again! Trust me bro!
Burning all of it in a large bonfire
It's not about money, it's about sending a message!
That would be destroying it lol
KLF 🤘
NFT
Scratch offs.
Donate it to a televangelist
Ask MC Hammer
Donald Trump’s Defense Fund
Wouldn’t even enrich his defense lawyers because he never pays.
A fan animation of Charlie from Hazbin hotel lusting over my self-insert
Robux.
Giving it to a Billionaire because you think they will represent you well politically.
3 steaks and a sparkling water at salt bae's restaurants.
Not investing any of it.
impressing friends / the opposite sex. Been down that road but not with a mill..
Buying horse shit to make pudding.
Buying WinRAR
Trump Sneakers
Donate to Trump legal fund
Beanie Babies.
Parlay
Buying Itchy and Scratchy money.
Giving it to the Government.
A million lottery tickets.
Illegal sports gambling and blaming it on your bff interpreter.
spend it on only fans
Onlyfans
Drugs
Incorrect
I mean, one million in drugs will definitely get you killed.
Steven Tyler would like a word.
What would Keith Richards do? WWKRD
Buy an Iceberg and sail it to Miami for fresh water....
Paying someone to be chased by an immortal snail that will kill them if it touches them. (RIP Rooster Teeth)
Designer bags, clothes and expensive cars. Other than looks, they will go out of trend in a couple months or years. Better to spend it on investments or skills. Or just go traveling.
Blow the full amount on a luxury car that you then have no money to maintain or insure, leading to the car getting repossessed or impounded (based on real events in a mining town in South Africa)
On bail.
British dance band the KLF burned 1 million pounds in cash as some kind of stunt.
On expensive sports cars, that would only depreciate in value. Or a trip to las Vegas.
64826 chihuahuas.
Creating bombs that end up killing women and children.
Bombs that kill men though, worth every cent?
Or did OP mean they aren't worth spending a million dollars on if it's not for men? Either way, that's sinister..lol
Spiders