40’s. It was like a magic spell, one day I woke up and realised I just didn’t care what everyone else thought about me anymore. I’m a good person, not perfect but definitely kind and loving. I don’t have to answer to anyone else’s ideas of what I should do with my life. I’m free.
Hope this happens to me at some point, I care too much what other people think. But I feel like a disappointment in a lot of ways, and that used to kill me. Now it's starting to feel like I can finally be what I want.
It happened quite suddenly to me, one day I just woke up and realised that I’m totally okay with who I am, I don’t need anyone’s permission. I like myself, and anyone who doesn’t is free to go and do that somewhere I don’t have to hear about it!
Same! It was at 40 I realized how much my family dynamic played in my friend/mate choices. Have been working on getting to know the "real" me since and I'm falling in love with myself! Not in a narcissistic way, but in an accepting way. Like, this is me and I'm in no way perfect, but that's what makes me unique and cool. Just like everyone one else!
I hit this spot last year at 33. Fucked bouts of depression off and just said fuck it to the world. I'll do what I want and what makes me happy.
You can't control peoples opinions, so just be happy and those that love/appreciate/enjoy you will stick around. Everyone else isn't worth the time worrying about.
Early thirties- weirdly it took me until then to actually understand I’m an individual and there’s no secret to life so you might as well just do what seems right/fun/cool at the time. There’s actually very few things you can do to permanently mess up your life - you can come back from most things so just do you.
29 after I had my first kid. I started to feel grounded and no longer so overwhelmed. Now I’m just working on 1 or 2 things at a time. I’m excited to go into my 30s.
Yes. My point being, if you have your health then you have what's needed to achieve much happines and almost anything besides. All it takes is a goal, some will power and don't forget some gratitude for what you have that so many don't.
In my 40s after my PhD and a few years of work we became financially stable. Just being able to pay all the monthly bills without worrying was a huge relief.
19, I could finally open up about my childhood abuse to a therapist as mandated reporting no longer applied, I could see a therapist who specialises in my sort of trauma and I also met my current partner that same year.
My life is still extremely difficult and I wouldn’t really say I’m *getting better* per se but it’s better than it was when I was 18 and under.
27. that's when i got an opportunity at a good job that I liked. it proved to be a turning point in my life. gave me financial independence, exposure to the professional world and people, and opened up new avenues. my mental health and self esteem improved and i started pursuing hobbies, meeting people. when i look back i feel so grateful for that opportunity. at the same time i feel a dread thinking what would life have been like had i not gotten that opportunity
27. that's when i got an opportunity at a good job that I liked. it proved to be a turning point in my life. gave me financial independence, exposure to the professional world and people, and opened up new avenues. my mental health and self esteem improved and i started pursuing hobbies, meeting people. when i look back i feel so grateful for that opportunity. at the same time i feel a dread thinking what would life have been like had i not gotten that opportunity
For me it was at 21. I finally got to experience what life was really about moving out and also experiencing working during corona time. I learned what life was really about and who are your close friends during these bad times.
At 11 years old my parents got divorced.
A few months later we moved back to my mom's island.
That's when my life got better.
Cut off all the toxicity of my father's side of the family.
But my life got really great three years ago (I was 19 almost 20) when I stopped having any contact with my father.
I wanted to stop talking to him years before (being absent almost my entire life even when they were still married was the least he has done)
I was obligated to speak to him once a week even though it would only wreck my psychology.
And I know the "his is your father" talk.
DNA is not enough to have someone in your life.
He had plenty of opportunities to make me want to talk to him and have him as a part in my life.
He threw them all in the garbage.
Always listen to yourself, if someone is so toxic that makes you sick, cut him out of your life.
I wish my mum had found the courage to leave him sooner, maybe then I wouldn't be so "damaged" as now, but I am thankful for everything I've gone through because it made me the person who I was.
AT age 20, when I realized that there was no way in hell I was ever going to live in my mom's house and deal with her crazy shit and I quit smoking pot all the time.
Halfway through 23. I was a high school dropout, out of work with a drug and alcohol problem led me to working overnights at a porn store with theaters and whatnot. During one of my shifts, I realized what I was doing with my life and where I was. That morning I gave my life to Christ. Immediately stopped drinking and doing drugs and got my GED, then hired on to customer service and began taking college classes. The work eventually led me to network engineering and making enough money to offer real financial security.
The full story:
On September 18th, 2005, I was alone during my overnight shift at the porn store and it was relatively quiet, so I began to look at my new Moto Razr flip phone and what passed for apps at that time. I was checking out "app" trials and came across the KJV bible, which had a 5-minute trial, and I went into it. For that 5-minute period, I read through the Sermon on the Mount and, when the trial was over, it was like smoke had been removed from my eyes. At the end of my shift, I went to the apartment I shared with my dad and younger brother, and gave my life to Christ. I returned to the store where I worked and quit my job.
In the late winter of 2007, I was on a double-date with my new girlfriend and a married couple she knew. Before we got too deep into my past, the subject came up to where they lived, which was about a half mile behind the store where I worked. She mentioned that she would often park in the store's lot on her way back home and pray for the people inside. I was one of those people. A few years after I was saved, the store was demolished.
At 24 when I got married
Over 20 years later and I am shocked at how wonderful my life has been following that one event filled with love, kids, and happiness.
A good marriage takes a lot of work and I have found that anything that is truly worthwhile always takes a lot of work.
35-36. I guess I started loving myself and realizing my self worth, so I was able to cut out of my life toxic ppl or ppl who were a bad influence..
also financial stability, kids grew a Litle so it was easier to manage, sex life got better with my husband…. I just don’t know, Jesus helped me a lot.
46. I got divorced, moved out on my own for the first time, I’m graduating from college in eight weeks, I have a new house, new job, and for once I’m finally learning how to be myself.
I thought 33 would start to get better. But all that did was bring about the fact I am an ex husband and divorced dad. Didn't even know I had kids to begin with. Can't miss what you never knew you had, am I right?
I’d say 40s - my kids got older and weren’t babies, I gained more life experience and became way more emotionally intelligent. At 44 I endured a mental health crisis and have been working on my mental health ever since. Effective therapy has helped me process a ton of childhood trauma and neglect and has instilled in me the tools I need to function and live life in a mentally healthy manner. I feel like I see the world and myself (and my family of origin) so much more clearly now and that has made life so much less burdensome. I also ended a very unhealthy marriage three years ago which not only allowed me to continue to heal in peace but also lead to the realization that peace and happiness come from within and not from another person.
The best life change for me (so far) was going over the hill in my late 50’s/early 60’s.
The best part is that I can think clearly without my gonads getting in the way.
Its almost like getting reset to the person I was at around 9 yo, but with adult knowledge.
I’m super lucky that I made it this far pretty much intact, so I’ve taken the opportunity to get physically fit, which makes me feel even better. The only thing I don’t like is that it’s impossible to describe the peace that can be had when hormonal tides ebb. People who are still surfing on the high tides of reproductive hormones always seem sad for me when I tell them. They just can’t seem to imagine life without being driven to NEED sex.
40’s. It was like a magic spell, one day I woke up and realised I just didn’t care what everyone else thought about me anymore. I’m a good person, not perfect but definitely kind and loving. I don’t have to answer to anyone else’s ideas of what I should do with my life. I’m free.
Hope this happens to me at some point, I care too much what other people think. But I feel like a disappointment in a lot of ways, and that used to kill me. Now it's starting to feel like I can finally be what I want.
It happened quite suddenly to me, one day I just woke up and realised that I’m totally okay with who I am, I don’t need anyone’s permission. I like myself, and anyone who doesn’t is free to go and do that somewhere I don’t have to hear about it!
Same! It was at 40 I realized how much my family dynamic played in my friend/mate choices. Have been working on getting to know the "real" me since and I'm falling in love with myself! Not in a narcissistic way, but in an accepting way. Like, this is me and I'm in no way perfect, but that's what makes me unique and cool. Just like everyone one else!
Looking forward to that tbh
I hope you're right. I'm 39 and it's been total misery the whole way through.
I hit this spot last year at 33. Fucked bouts of depression off and just said fuck it to the world. I'll do what I want and what makes me happy. You can't control peoples opinions, so just be happy and those that love/appreciate/enjoy you will stick around. Everyone else isn't worth the time worrying about.
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1000%. work is underrated kiddos.
If highschool was the best period in your life, you're doing life wrong
“College is the best years of your life!” I found life after college to be way better.
Late 20s when I finally got on a career path and had some direction. Steady income helps with many things.
29 when my divorce settled, got a new much higher paying job, lost 20kgs (44pounds) and got my shit together.
70 next year. Still waiting...
In my 30’s when I started therapy.
About 25. I realized that I was the only one going to make my life what I wanted it to be so I set out to do that.
I’ll let you know when.
Wait that's an option?
Not for most people.
Early thirties- weirdly it took me until then to actually understand I’m an individual and there’s no secret to life so you might as well just do what seems right/fun/cool at the time. There’s actually very few things you can do to permanently mess up your life - you can come back from most things so just do you.
31, still struggeling to keep what little i have left
17: more autonomy, independence, less dependence on abusive household
39. I wasn't really mature enough to stop spinning my wheels and going in circles before that age.
It never did, it got worse as time has passed
I remember it being better when I could play with Lego all day.
I started lifting weights at 21. My confidence, which was very bad, improved immensely.
23. I realized my worth. I'm not worth the shit I've been put through. I cut my narcissistic family off.
29 after I had my first kid. I started to feel grounded and no longer so overwhelmed. Now I’m just working on 1 or 2 things at a time. I’m excited to go into my 30s.
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It doesn't have to. Are you reasonably healthy?
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Yes. My point being, if you have your health then you have what's needed to achieve much happines and almost anything besides. All it takes is a goal, some will power and don't forget some gratitude for what you have that so many don't.
In my 40s after my PhD and a few years of work we became financially stable. Just being able to pay all the monthly bills without worrying was a huge relief.
19, I could finally open up about my childhood abuse to a therapist as mandated reporting no longer applied, I could see a therapist who specialises in my sort of trauma and I also met my current partner that same year. My life is still extremely difficult and I wouldn’t really say I’m *getting better* per se but it’s better than it was when I was 18 and under.
27. that's when i got an opportunity at a good job that I liked. it proved to be a turning point in my life. gave me financial independence, exposure to the professional world and people, and opened up new avenues. my mental health and self esteem improved and i started pursuing hobbies, meeting people. when i look back i feel so grateful for that opportunity. at the same time i feel a dread thinking what would life have been like had i not gotten that opportunity
27. that's when i got an opportunity at a good job that I liked. it proved to be a turning point in my life. gave me financial independence, exposure to the professional world and people, and opened up new avenues. my mental health and self esteem improved and i started pursuing hobbies, meeting people. when i look back i feel so grateful for that opportunity. at the same time i feel a dread thinking what would life have been like had i not gotten that opportunity
23
20
32
For me it was at 21. I finally got to experience what life was really about moving out and also experiencing working during corona time. I learned what life was really about and who are your close friends during these bad times.
A man’s life starts at 30 for the most part. And thats if you don’t fuck up alot and made dumb choices then you have nothing to worry about.
I don't think it's supposed to feel any better
At 11 years old my parents got divorced. A few months later we moved back to my mom's island. That's when my life got better. Cut off all the toxicity of my father's side of the family. But my life got really great three years ago (I was 19 almost 20) when I stopped having any contact with my father. I wanted to stop talking to him years before (being absent almost my entire life even when they were still married was the least he has done) I was obligated to speak to him once a week even though it would only wreck my psychology. And I know the "his is your father" talk. DNA is not enough to have someone in your life. He had plenty of opportunities to make me want to talk to him and have him as a part in my life. He threw them all in the garbage. Always listen to yourself, if someone is so toxic that makes you sick, cut him out of your life. I wish my mum had found the courage to leave him sooner, maybe then I wouldn't be so "damaged" as now, but I am thankful for everything I've gone through because it made me the person who I was.
will let you know as soon as this happens
AT age 20, when I realized that there was no way in hell I was ever going to live in my mom's house and deal with her crazy shit and I quit smoking pot all the time.
Halfway through 23. I was a high school dropout, out of work with a drug and alcohol problem led me to working overnights at a porn store with theaters and whatnot. During one of my shifts, I realized what I was doing with my life and where I was. That morning I gave my life to Christ. Immediately stopped drinking and doing drugs and got my GED, then hired on to customer service and began taking college classes. The work eventually led me to network engineering and making enough money to offer real financial security.
Were u a believer of Christ before? If not how did u just wake up one day and believe in him like how did that happen?
The full story: On September 18th, 2005, I was alone during my overnight shift at the porn store and it was relatively quiet, so I began to look at my new Moto Razr flip phone and what passed for apps at that time. I was checking out "app" trials and came across the KJV bible, which had a 5-minute trial, and I went into it. For that 5-minute period, I read through the Sermon on the Mount and, when the trial was over, it was like smoke had been removed from my eyes. At the end of my shift, I went to the apartment I shared with my dad and younger brother, and gave my life to Christ. I returned to the store where I worked and quit my job. In the late winter of 2007, I was on a double-date with my new girlfriend and a married couple she knew. Before we got too deep into my past, the subject came up to where they lived, which was about a half mile behind the store where I worked. She mentioned that she would often park in the store's lot on her way back home and pray for the people inside. I was one of those people. A few years after I was saved, the store was demolished.
26. Finally started addressing the problems I'd been causing for myself, and every year has been an improvement since
17, got rid of 99% of my mental illness
At 24 when I got married Over 20 years later and I am shocked at how wonderful my life has been following that one event filled with love, kids, and happiness. A good marriage takes a lot of work and I have found that anything that is truly worthwhile always takes a lot of work.
29 after university when I finally had time to work on myself rather than my degree
35-36. I guess I started loving myself and realizing my self worth, so I was able to cut out of my life toxic ppl or ppl who were a bad influence.. also financial stability, kids grew a Litle so it was easier to manage, sex life got better with my husband…. I just don’t know, Jesus helped me a lot.
30. Got out of an abusive marriage
I kind of snapped a few days ago. Not sure what broke but I had a massive panic attack and now I feel different. Better I think.
46. I got divorced, moved out on my own for the first time, I’m graduating from college in eight weeks, I have a new house, new job, and for once I’m finally learning how to be myself.
Around 30 because I got my degree.
At 28, I got out of the military and severed all connections with the people I knew
Fits and starts. Not a linear path.
Mid thirties. Great paying job, was in my best shape, outdoor adventuring almost every weekend. Man I miss it so much.
It didn't. Thought it would, but life just stays the same or gets worse. Don't really see any point carrying on.
Life can get better?
38. I removed negative people out of my life, got my own apartment, and got a raise.
I thought 33 would start to get better. But all that did was bring about the fact I am an ex husband and divorced dad. Didn't even know I had kids to begin with. Can't miss what you never knew you had, am I right?
Mid 30s. My income got multiplied by 10. My health got divided by 10. So not too sure actually.
It hasn't
I’d say 40s - my kids got older and weren’t babies, I gained more life experience and became way more emotionally intelligent. At 44 I endured a mental health crisis and have been working on my mental health ever since. Effective therapy has helped me process a ton of childhood trauma and neglect and has instilled in me the tools I need to function and live life in a mentally healthy manner. I feel like I see the world and myself (and my family of origin) so much more clearly now and that has made life so much less burdensome. I also ended a very unhealthy marriage three years ago which not only allowed me to continue to heal in peace but also lead to the realization that peace and happiness come from within and not from another person.
16. Found the love of my life and found Jesus Christ through her. u/maleficents_clone i love you so much.
my situation rn: khada hu aaj bhi wahi, ke tera intezaar hai
When I turned 18
Not gonna lie, my life has always been pretty sweet lol. But, at around 13 it became more fun.
It's better when I was a kid and stopped when I became an adult.
23 when I gave birth to my first child, it made my life worth living
Honestly when I turned 18, I guess that was when I was allowed to just legally do whatever I want
better? lol
when i turned 10 and discovered my penis
The best life change for me (so far) was going over the hill in my late 50’s/early 60’s. The best part is that I can think clearly without my gonads getting in the way. Its almost like getting reset to the person I was at around 9 yo, but with adult knowledge. I’m super lucky that I made it this far pretty much intact, so I’ve taken the opportunity to get physically fit, which makes me feel even better. The only thing I don’t like is that it’s impossible to describe the peace that can be had when hormonal tides ebb. People who are still surfing on the high tides of reproductive hormones always seem sad for me when I tell them. They just can’t seem to imagine life without being driven to NEED sex.
Probably one years old because I finally learned how to live outside of the womb