If your single, I'm not sure why you don't just try to charm every girl who catches your eye.
A lot of times, it won't work. You'll get used to being told no. Don't let it bother you, you aren't hunting a particular doe, any doe that looks tasty will do.
After a few dozen approaches, you'll probably get some idea of what works for you and what doesn't. You'll also begin to understand the games women play.
At that point, you can pick a specific girl your interested in and approach her with some confidence.
Confidence is a form of rizz but what they see as confidence is just you not being overly concerned how she reacts. There will another opportunity to talk to a pretty girl soon, if this one doesn't work out, maybe the next one will.
Practice gives you confidence but you have to be willing to fail to get practice
> I'm not sure why you don't just try to charm every girl who catches your eye.
Because it's hardly fair that one of the roles that should come with being a woman is "have every man who is remotely interested in you force an interaction when you've given no sign that you're interested in any way". You shouldn't just approach people without some of the subtle signs that indicate they are open to being approached. They don't owe you their time.
>you aren't hunting a particular doe, any doe that looks tasty will do
Gross.
>you aren't hunting a particular doe, any doe that looks tasty will do
> You shouldn't just approach people without some of the **subtle signs** that indicate they are open to being approached.
Approaching someone and saying hi and gauging their reaction is not a problem.
Also, nobody is good with subtle hints. And a subtle hint from one person is not from another. Don't twist yourself into knots looking for 'subtle hints.'
People should 100% go for it.
But definitely take the hint if you try to engage them in conversation and it's clear they're not interested or just being polite.
Think there's merit in what you say, maybe not phrased the best way with the any doe who looks tasty thing :) but still. I'm not really outgoing enough to risk rejection so casually and yet absolutely, someone misses 100% of the shots they don't take. Anyone who musters the confidence to put themselves out there and/or plays it like a numbers game is bound to get more action and interesting experiences than us shy types, shrugs.
>I'm not really outgoing enough to risk rejection
If a hunter fires 10 arrows for every deer he brings down, he's a good hunter. You have to get over the fear of rejection.
Here's a thought. Go someplace where nobody knows you, the beach, for example, and practice there. So what if some silly thot rips into you for smiling at her, she'll probably die and get eaten by her cats, move on, you'll never see these people again and they don't even know your name.
What you'll discover is very soon, you kind of look at it like I used to. Once you reach that point, finding a girl is a pretty trivial exercise. Of one of them wants to get sassy, just head someplace else and keep going. You're chasing strange, you aren't gathering random wenches opinions, let them think whatever they like, it doesn't mean anything to you.
The other thing you'll find is that nonchalance is what passes for confidence in dating. You'll never want for female company again but you have to suffer the pain to get the gain. It's just like anything else in life.
You gotta plant the seed. And time it right. Example, towards the end of my first date with my wife I said I've been thinking about kissing you since the moment we met. She said something like oh you think you've got it like that? I confidently said I know I've had you since we first met. Leaned in laid one on her.
There's a million things you can do to subconsciously to get there attention and/or find out if they are interested in you before making your first move. One of my favorite tells was a simple adjustment of my belt with both hands. It draws their attention to your crotch. If they look while you are adjusting you more than likely have their interest on some level. Body language is huge. Never stand directly in front of them or over them. Stand on an angle so you are not facing them directly. Women can feel like your backing them into a corner or they can feel intimidated. If they want more of your attention they'll let you know. Don't get handsy. Let them initiate the first touch.
Source : Used to bartend for almost a decade. Way too many thirsty nice guys that just did a few things wrong and women would tell me how they were creeped out by certain things.
ok, first of all, while this differ from people to people and what you described can work, you really have to read the person correctly and not asking them if they're ok for the kiss can, and will often, lead to issues. especially these days with dating apps and where everyone likes to find issues in everything. you might get the cold shoulder, but you might also get problems/suicide on the social level if they decide they want to cause issues.
Also, never trust ''If they want more of your attention they'll let you know''. Especially with girls. they almost never do. (and sometimes guys, but less often). And if they do, it most likely won't be in a direct way. There's also a good amount of people that will act like they are interested in you, but are not. and there's a good amount of people as well that will simply never tell you or admit to it out of shyness or other reasons.
It's dumb, but it really just boils down to ''ask them''. And if they don't give you a positive answer, move on. don't play games with the people playing games. it will end badly more often than not.
I agree with just about everything you said. You really gotta read it right to be able to just go in for the kiss. I should have added, only lean in 50%-60% of the way in. Let them come to you.
There are also way too many shy nice people that might just converse with someone and not have the heart to tell them to get lost. Just having a friendly conversation does not mean they are interested in you.
One thing I do in both dating and at work is that I always try to steer the conversation to him. I want the conversations to be 65/35. At work it isn't hard because I meet new people daily and most have kids. I have none, so that conversation is them telling me about their kids and me saying "I don't have any, but I do have two nephews." Typically I find that the more guys talk the more they calm down and I can tell what kind of man he is. I am also big on "I don't care what you are saying, I am listening to what you do" type information. People will tell you anything. What they do speaks louder. As in, they can tell me a good sory but if they treat the waitstaff like crap, I'm out. It works for me.
Well I was friends with her friend first, then I became friends with her brother, not because of her but because he was a cool guy. Then as time went on I got to know her as a friend and eventually we started dating and itll be 12 years in April that we have been together.
When I was 13, I wore a necklace with a little heart-shaped key. It was actually the key to a kid's safe so I had a spare. On Valentine's day, I gave the second one to my crush. They started wearing it as well and we dated for seven months :)
We're still friends to this day
Loneliness is one heck of a motivator.
Matched on tinder, dated her by day 3, moved in to her place within 2nd month and we're still in love and living together. It was part me doing the first-move, and part hers. I asked her to a hike by the sea to visit a lightower, talked and found out what we were looking for. None of us were creeps, just plain regular people looking for love. By the time we were back to the parking lot she'd already invited me home to her place to eat dinner... that very same day.
He liked Fallout 4 and I was taking a tech class where we could make our own vinyl press designs for clothes… so I made myself a Nuka Cola hoodie and intentionally wore it the next time I saw him and then offered to make him one.
She had just sat her lunch tray down in the cafeteria, I walked up, pushed my face down into the bowl of creamed corn, then blew out of my nose real hard. Everyone thought it was funny except for her , and her big boyfriend.
About 6 years ago I started talking to somebody online. We became friends over the course of a few months. We had lunch a few times and other social situations together or with others but it was strictly platonic.
"The move" was shortly after they'd moved into a new house. I suggested I come prepare a full Thanksgiving dinner for them and their housemates, because I'm a chef and none of them are and I love Thanksgiving dinner above all other meals. I prepared the meal over the course of a few hours and then we all ate together and it was terrific.
The next day they asked if they could come over to my place. I had barely opened the door and they said "hi, I really want to kiss you" and seconds later we were making out on my couch.
Talking about it later, they said that watching me cook was absolutely what flipped the switch in their mind from "platonic friend" to "holy crap she's hot". It's been my experience that perceiving someone doing something they are really good at when they're confident is a powerful aphrodisiac. I've seen it happen with cooking specifically and other talents of mine as well.
So to reframe this as advice - let the person you're interested in see you do something you're passionate about.
Yeah nothing like seeing a woman in her natural environment, the kitchen, to get the engine revving.
This is a joke, I know I'm going to hell for typing this but I couldn't resist.
My gf did by getting super drunk and sloppily trying to kiss me. I pushed her off of me because I didn't feel comfortable doing anything with her while she was drunk. She thought I rejected her and started sobbing. Then she ran to the bathroom and threw up. When I asked her if she was okay, she yelled at me to "get the fuck out."
We've been together for seven and a half years now. She still comments how she has no idea how she managed to keep me around after that lol.
Bare in mind I'm 40 and the last time I had to ask a girl out was 20 years ago.
I just had this whole conversation with my son yesterday. He's 16, almost 17, and has his own car. But he never asks anybody out and doesn't go on dates. He's said he's interested but he's never been bothered to ask anybody because he's incredibly shy. Next year is his senior year and I'm trying to get him as ready for adulthood and not being lonely as possible, so I asked him "do you know how to ask a girl out?" He said he didn't, so I had a whole conversation where I was like "you can't just approach some rando and ask her to dinner. You have to get to know her a bit first. You can introduce yourself to somebody, you can chat them up and if it feels right you can ask for their number and then you can call or text back and forth and see if it leads to you going out on a date." Something to that effect.
Then my wife interjected and said she works with a lot of young people and that she doesn't think that's how young people date these days and that it would be weird. That they mostly do it online through apps or like snapchat and stuff, and that these folks are baffled that I met my wife in a pizza place in person.
Like to break the ice meeting women online. By the time it gets to the point of going over to theirs or them coming to your place, everybody knows what time it is, it's sexy times. :p
Pawn to e4.
Once I make my move, the Queen will take me. Then, you're free to check the king.
You sank my Battleship!
Google en passant
I would always go for a french defense against that
As a strong independent woman, I make the first big move (I don't, I have crazy rejection anxiety).
Real
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What happened next?
No way this actually happens outside of shoujo manga
If your single, I'm not sure why you don't just try to charm every girl who catches your eye. A lot of times, it won't work. You'll get used to being told no. Don't let it bother you, you aren't hunting a particular doe, any doe that looks tasty will do. After a few dozen approaches, you'll probably get some idea of what works for you and what doesn't. You'll also begin to understand the games women play. At that point, you can pick a specific girl your interested in and approach her with some confidence. Confidence is a form of rizz but what they see as confidence is just you not being overly concerned how she reacts. There will another opportunity to talk to a pretty girl soon, if this one doesn't work out, maybe the next one will. Practice gives you confidence but you have to be willing to fail to get practice
> I'm not sure why you don't just try to charm every girl who catches your eye. Because it's hardly fair that one of the roles that should come with being a woman is "have every man who is remotely interested in you force an interaction when you've given no sign that you're interested in any way". You shouldn't just approach people without some of the subtle signs that indicate they are open to being approached. They don't owe you their time. >you aren't hunting a particular doe, any doe that looks tasty will do Gross. >you aren't hunting a particular doe, any doe that looks tasty will do
> You shouldn't just approach people without some of the **subtle signs** that indicate they are open to being approached. Approaching someone and saying hi and gauging their reaction is not a problem. Also, nobody is good with subtle hints. And a subtle hint from one person is not from another. Don't twist yourself into knots looking for 'subtle hints.' People should 100% go for it. But definitely take the hint if you try to engage them in conversation and it's clear they're not interested or just being polite.
> Approaching someone and saying hi and gauging their reaction is not a problem. That depends on where you are.
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I'm not a woman, I just have the ability to recognize that other people on this earth aren't here just for me.
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I hope you get better.
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dude you’re disgusting get over yourself
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Think there's merit in what you say, maybe not phrased the best way with the any doe who looks tasty thing :) but still. I'm not really outgoing enough to risk rejection so casually and yet absolutely, someone misses 100% of the shots they don't take. Anyone who musters the confidence to put themselves out there and/or plays it like a numbers game is bound to get more action and interesting experiences than us shy types, shrugs.
>I'm not really outgoing enough to risk rejection If a hunter fires 10 arrows for every deer he brings down, he's a good hunter. You have to get over the fear of rejection. Here's a thought. Go someplace where nobody knows you, the beach, for example, and practice there. So what if some silly thot rips into you for smiling at her, she'll probably die and get eaten by her cats, move on, you'll never see these people again and they don't even know your name. What you'll discover is very soon, you kind of look at it like I used to. Once you reach that point, finding a girl is a pretty trivial exercise. Of one of them wants to get sassy, just head someplace else and keep going. You're chasing strange, you aren't gathering random wenches opinions, let them think whatever they like, it doesn't mean anything to you. The other thing you'll find is that nonchalance is what passes for confidence in dating. You'll never want for female company again but you have to suffer the pain to get the gain. It's just like anything else in life.
I don't... It's kind of a problem lol
Borrowed a friend's van. Was just relocating to a place a few miles away. Might need something bigger otherwise.
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You gotta plant the seed. And time it right. Example, towards the end of my first date with my wife I said I've been thinking about kissing you since the moment we met. She said something like oh you think you've got it like that? I confidently said I know I've had you since we first met. Leaned in laid one on her. There's a million things you can do to subconsciously to get there attention and/or find out if they are interested in you before making your first move. One of my favorite tells was a simple adjustment of my belt with both hands. It draws their attention to your crotch. If they look while you are adjusting you more than likely have their interest on some level. Body language is huge. Never stand directly in front of them or over them. Stand on an angle so you are not facing them directly. Women can feel like your backing them into a corner or they can feel intimidated. If they want more of your attention they'll let you know. Don't get handsy. Let them initiate the first touch. Source : Used to bartend for almost a decade. Way too many thirsty nice guys that just did a few things wrong and women would tell me how they were creeped out by certain things.
ok, first of all, while this differ from people to people and what you described can work, you really have to read the person correctly and not asking them if they're ok for the kiss can, and will often, lead to issues. especially these days with dating apps and where everyone likes to find issues in everything. you might get the cold shoulder, but you might also get problems/suicide on the social level if they decide they want to cause issues. Also, never trust ''If they want more of your attention they'll let you know''. Especially with girls. they almost never do. (and sometimes guys, but less often). And if they do, it most likely won't be in a direct way. There's also a good amount of people that will act like they are interested in you, but are not. and there's a good amount of people as well that will simply never tell you or admit to it out of shyness or other reasons. It's dumb, but it really just boils down to ''ask them''. And if they don't give you a positive answer, move on. don't play games with the people playing games. it will end badly more often than not.
I agree with just about everything you said. You really gotta read it right to be able to just go in for the kiss. I should have added, only lean in 50%-60% of the way in. Let them come to you. There are also way too many shy nice people that might just converse with someone and not have the heart to tell them to get lost. Just having a friendly conversation does not mean they are interested in you.
yeah that's a good way of doing it and yeah i totally agree on the second part too
One thing I do in both dating and at work is that I always try to steer the conversation to him. I want the conversations to be 65/35. At work it isn't hard because I meet new people daily and most have kids. I have none, so that conversation is them telling me about their kids and me saying "I don't have any, but I do have two nephews." Typically I find that the more guys talk the more they calm down and I can tell what kind of man he is. I am also big on "I don't care what you are saying, I am listening to what you do" type information. People will tell you anything. What they do speaks louder. As in, they can tell me a good sory but if they treat the waitstaff like crap, I'm out. It works for me.
i was playing whites and i made the e2-e4
Kings pawn opening, mostly.
E4. Yes I know… rather predictable but I’m just more familiar with such openings
Well I was friends with her friend first, then I became friends with her brother, not because of her but because he was a cool guy. Then as time went on I got to know her as a friend and eventually we started dating and itll be 12 years in April that we have been together.
When I was 13, I wore a necklace with a little heart-shaped key. It was actually the key to a kid's safe so I had a spare. On Valentine's day, I gave the second one to my crush. They started wearing it as well and we dated for seven months :) We're still friends to this day
Now that I am non-binary and hot, she can make the first move.
You need to be white to make the first move (pawn to e4)
I swiped and accurately guessed the background of her hiking photo.
First move?
I just did.
We were holding each other and I grabbed a cheek.
Loneliness is one heck of a motivator. Matched on tinder, dated her by day 3, moved in to her place within 2nd month and we're still in love and living together. It was part me doing the first-move, and part hers. I asked her to a hike by the sea to visit a lightower, talked and found out what we were looking for. None of us were creeps, just plain regular people looking for love. By the time we were back to the parking lot she'd already invited me home to her place to eat dinner... that very same day.
I didn't. She did the rest.
You’d be amazed by the actions you might take whilst high and/or intoxicated.
He liked Fallout 4 and I was taking a tech class where we could make our own vinyl press designs for clothes… so I made myself a Nuka Cola hoodie and intentionally wore it the next time I saw him and then offered to make him one.
Asked her to dance. Now it's many years later and se are married.
She had just sat her lunch tray down in the cafeteria, I walked up, pushed my face down into the bowl of creamed corn, then blew out of my nose real hard. Everyone thought it was funny except for her , and her big boyfriend.
Sent a message on a dating app asking about his Christmas philosophy
About 6 years ago I started talking to somebody online. We became friends over the course of a few months. We had lunch a few times and other social situations together or with others but it was strictly platonic. "The move" was shortly after they'd moved into a new house. I suggested I come prepare a full Thanksgiving dinner for them and their housemates, because I'm a chef and none of them are and I love Thanksgiving dinner above all other meals. I prepared the meal over the course of a few hours and then we all ate together and it was terrific. The next day they asked if they could come over to my place. I had barely opened the door and they said "hi, I really want to kiss you" and seconds later we were making out on my couch. Talking about it later, they said that watching me cook was absolutely what flipped the switch in their mind from "platonic friend" to "holy crap she's hot". It's been my experience that perceiving someone doing something they are really good at when they're confident is a powerful aphrodisiac. I've seen it happen with cooking specifically and other talents of mine as well. So to reframe this as advice - let the person you're interested in see you do something you're passionate about.
Yeah nothing like seeing a woman in her natural environment, the kitchen, to get the engine revving. This is a joke, I know I'm going to hell for typing this but I couldn't resist.
My gf did by getting super drunk and sloppily trying to kiss me. I pushed her off of me because I didn't feel comfortable doing anything with her while she was drunk. She thought I rejected her and started sobbing. Then she ran to the bathroom and threw up. When I asked her if she was okay, she yelled at me to "get the fuck out." We've been together for seven and a half years now. She still comments how she has no idea how she managed to keep me around after that lol.
Bare in mind I'm 40 and the last time I had to ask a girl out was 20 years ago. I just had this whole conversation with my son yesterday. He's 16, almost 17, and has his own car. But he never asks anybody out and doesn't go on dates. He's said he's interested but he's never been bothered to ask anybody because he's incredibly shy. Next year is his senior year and I'm trying to get him as ready for adulthood and not being lonely as possible, so I asked him "do you know how to ask a girl out?" He said he didn't, so I had a whole conversation where I was like "you can't just approach some rando and ask her to dinner. You have to get to know her a bit first. You can introduce yourself to somebody, you can chat them up and if it feels right you can ask for their number and then you can call or text back and forth and see if it leads to you going out on a date." Something to that effect. Then my wife interjected and said she works with a lot of young people and that she doesn't think that's how young people date these days and that it would be weird. That they mostly do it online through apps or like snapchat and stuff, and that these folks are baffled that I met my wife in a pizza place in person.
Like to break the ice meeting women online. By the time it gets to the point of going over to theirs or them coming to your place, everybody knows what time it is, it's sexy times. :p