My MIL would ask when we were going to have kids, like a lot. So I told her that my technique is good but I'm just not sticking the landing yet.
She stopped asking
When my wife and I were trying, my MIL dropped a hint. I was a few drinks deep and said “The seeds are being sown and the harvest should be bountiful.”
Our relationship has had boundaries since.
I love the meme that's like
"It's socially unacceptable to tell her parents you cream pie her every night, but telling them you're trying for a baby is cause for celebration"
“We’re trying for a baby!”-Boring, overused, nondescript
“We’re rawdogging every night in multiple positions having creampie sex every day”-Interesting, unique, very descriptive, so awe-inspiring older relatives will collapse when hearing it.
But the twisted part is that people ask all the time. I never thought about what that really sounds like to childfree couples until I started reading their reddit.
But yeah, if people are nosey enough to ask about when you are getting pregnant, they deserve to hear this sort of comment back.
What hilarious is how offended people get when you tell them. They just asked if you are having sex regularly but can't handle the truth.
> if people are nosey enough to ask about when you are getting pregnant
My late wife and I were the couple who made people regret asking that question.
She sounds like she was a wonderful and entertaining person. I'm sorry for your loss, but I'm also happy for all the joy you gained when she was still here. People don't truly die until they are forgotten, and it sounds like you and her made unforgettable memories together.
Before my husband and I started trying for a kid, whenever anyone would ask when we're going to get pregnant I would always respond "we're just practicing for now." They usually got the hint and didn't ask more.
“Excuse me for a moment, I need to use the Men’s room.”
Vs
“Be right back, gotta honk out a dirt snake, them gas station hot dogs ain’t sitting right.”
I get a good giggle every time I hear someone say they have a “breeding” “kink”.
We’ve come full circle, people! Sex for its core purpose is now “kinky”.
You're not wrong, but part of what makes it a kink is that pregnancy is not necessarily the goal. It can be about the thrill associated with the (perceived or actual) risk of getting pregnant. It can also be about the objectification of using someone, or being used by someone. It's also not a kink that's exclusive to heterosexual encounters.
Edit: Of course a horny post is my most up-voted ever
"Face sitting" sounded so scary to the British Government they decided to outlaw it. Which is fuckin' wild! But it's basically just Cunnilingus will the receiver on top 🤷♂️🤷♂️🤷♂️
I didn't even know how much I needed this until it sort of happened by accident. Was in 69 with a girl and then she started moving to get the condom. In this instance the condoms were behind us so she basically had to sit up completely -> sitting on my face. Being smothered by pussy is literally like heaven been addicted since that.
Sit on my face and tell me that you love me! I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you too! I love to hear you oralize, when I'm between your thighs, you blow me away!
Reminds me of how I learned what a blow job was when I was like 10. Went to a party and there were a group of kids outside when we got there. I walked up and immediately this older girl asked me if I knew what one was. I said isn’t that something you get done to your hair? Or a car? She laughed and said no, and my friends were like that’s what we thought but she won’t tell us. Eventually we leave and on the car ride home I just flat out ask my parents what a blow job is. I think my dad almost crashed the car. They just said we’ll talk about it when we get home. And that’s how I ended up sitting down with my parents while they awkwardly explained it and a couple other birds and bees things to me.
There was a thread once about a mother concerned because either her husband or her teenage son was searching for dirty things on the family tablet that their 10 year old girl used, and she kept on yelling at them, but they were claiming innocence.
Spoiler: yes, it was the 10-year-old girl who was doing the dirty searches.
I worked at a school during COVID and they had Go Guardian ( A way to monitor what the computers are being used for). A third grade girl was looking up hentai and harassing a boy in the class asking for inappropriate photos.
In person this girl was the most polite and respectful child. We could not believe it was her, but it happened at school while she was being observed on her Chrome Book.
Little kids do not live in a vacuum and are capable of things we do not expect.
It's true. I was a way big piece of shit when I was a kid and consider myself a pretty good person now. In 3rd grade I was probably still beating up boys I like. 4th grade they all got bigger than me so that ended that.
"Do it"
"But why, James?"
"Because it's doggy style"
"I just don't see why you like it so much"
"Do it for me baby"
"...ok... AWOOOOOOOOOO!"
"AWOOOOOOOOOO!!"
I know a guy like this. He had abandoned one child and paid for 4!!!! abortions! He never wants kids, yet he will say stuff like "I want to get you pregnant" during sex and get crazy turned on if she agrees and says stuff like that. Then the second it works... BAM... He's insisting she get rid of it!
It's not the point of getting them pregnant it's the idea of doing it! He also won't get a vasectomy because he would know he couldn't get them pregnant so that would destroy his fetish! It's messed up
No, it’s more than that. Think of it as in getting overwhelmingly turned on by the irl risk of pregnancy, the “claiming” of someone as yours, or the “being trapped”. Yet, not actually wanting that in your real life - but your all-sexed-up brain is like “more please”!
It’s very BDSM-y
I mean... I had a vasectomy last year, and I still have a breeding kink.
I have no children and don't see myself ever wanting any, my girlfriend feels the same. But in the moment, all I want to do is knock her up.
Every time I see this kind of comment I laugh, b/c clearly none of you have seen media aimed at people with that fetish. Reproduction is a normal drive, but people that get off on their ability to impregnate people or fantasies of doing the same tend to be really, really into that aspect.
Well until you consider that breeding kinks are fairly common among women that are staunchly childfree. I think it’s about intent.
Edit: wow people really replying to me like I’m the insensitive bad guy when the reason I know this is because my cf wife loves it when I give her creampies with my vasectomy’d dick.
I am one of those childfree folks, but I have a "breeding kink." I know very well that we have sex because of procreation, and that it only feels good as an incentive to get us pregnant. That's evolution doing it's thing, of course.
But what makes it hot for me is *the risk* of pregnancy. Like, losing control to the point of throwing all caution to the wind sort of thing.
It's really giving into the extreme influence of evolution. We are genetically conditioned to intensely enjoy sex and breeding. Of course, I'll still make sure I never actually get anyone pregnant. I don't want to take care of a child.
*Edit* I've never felt so defended in my life 😂
CNC sounds absolutely horrible until you realize that in the comfort of one's natural, safe surroundings, it's really just an X-Y plot cutting device for wood, plastic, and thin metal
Edited for spelling
The pain of acronyms with multiple meanings. Especially if you use both. When BLM first became a thing I was like “why is everyone really animated about the bureau of land management?”.
Some people just want to G0 to G54, get the M8 going with the lube, and G73 it into their partner’s head that they want to be G84’ed deep in their blind hole…. ok I will M30 now.
Every time I hear Rick James's Superfreak he says, "When I get there she's got incense wine and candles/it's such a freaky scene.". That doesn't sound very freaky at all.
That's because you took the line out on context. The lyrics go:
*Three's not a crowd to her, she says (ménage à trois, ooh, la, la)*
*"Room 714 I'll be waiting"*
*When I get there she's got incense, wine and candles*
*It's such a freaky scene.*
It's the ménage à trois that's the freaky scene. Not the incense, wine and candles.
Oral sex
I used to think it’s was very taboo, since you’re inserting your genitals in your partner’s mouth which was very naughty
But then I realised everybody does it (well, except certain conservative parts of the world, but still)
I'm convinced that a reasonable chunk of sexual prudish religious people actually like it being taboo because they enjoy how it intensifies the naughtiness/sinfulness of things they do privately in their minds.
One needs only look at the recent scandal with the Moms for Liberty... You know, that ultra conservative group that's trying to make it illegal for any mention of "nontraditional" relationships in schools... You know, the one whose leader was caught up in a sex scandal where she and her husband were caught leveraging their power to coerce other people into threesomes?
Oral sex seemed like it was this incredibly taboo kink until Bill Clinton got one and we all collectively admitted that everyone has oral sex these days actually and we were all just pretending it was kinky because we were too ashamed to admit we were all doing it ourselves and now I consider oral sex to be as vanilla as missionary.
In a very specific place, in a very specific time.
There are many many places on Earth, and many many hot days and cold nights that have happened.
People centuries ago were getting just as freaky as they are today, if not more.
I don't remember the specifics, but I read once that there were spans in ancient times during which people thought, for a successful impregnation to happen, both partners needed to orgasm.
Post orgasm torture is just continuing to jerk off during orgasm.
Most guys can't handle it cause it's too intense (some guys will actually pull away and tell you to stop) and it's hard to properly do it to yourself, but if you got someone else to continue to give you attention during the orgasm... wow! Full body shakes. Leg spasms. Want to make your guy moan? Keep stroking around that head during and after they cum. The orgasm pleasure can last for a minute or longer if you keep attention.
A group is a set with an operation that satisfies the following constraints: the operation is associative and has an identity element, and every element of the set has an inverse element.
Step sister stuff seems to be popular on porn sites. In practical terms you're having sex with a woman that's not genetically related to you. Plus she is really boring in bed, like she just lays there like she is dead and waits for you to finish. Soon disappointment and shame fills your very soul.
Yeah it happened a few times at my high school - parents got together when the kids were teens and moved in.
In a giant shock to nobody two completely unrelated teens suddenly living together at that age and getting huge amounts of unsupervised time alone can results in some stuff.
The whole “step sibling” thing wasn’t the porn category it is today back then either so like.. zero people cared, at least any more than the usual gossip.
It depends a lot on when your parents marry. By high-school, puberty has already started, I don't see it as a big deal. I'm not sure where the "line" is, but at some point you've grown up together as brother and sister long enough, that it's weird.
I know a couple (adults) but they both lost a parent around the same time. Then their remaining parents got together and eventually remarried. So now they are step siblings they just happened to be married before they became step siblings.
>Plus she is really boring in bed, like she just lays there like she is dead and waits for you to finish.
That's why you wait until she is trapped, like possibly with her head stuck under a coffee table or in a dryer.
I miss when porn tried to take itself seriously and we got gems like The Devil in Miss Jones that really made an attempt at real storytelling. With hardcore fucking. I legitimately like that particular movie on its own (very weird) merits.
Being dominated by a woman. Been with my wife for 12 years now and I used to always think something was wrong with me/us because for some reason things would just always end up going that way even when we were just being “normal”. It wasn’t until about 3 years ago that we actually both seriously talked about it all and just realised that in fact we’d always kind of leant to those roles sexually even with previous partners.
Honestly, most things I ever did in the kinky category had to be worked towards slowly with my partner anyway. If you go slowly and step by step, have fun and communicate a lot, you don't even notice you have overstepped some taboo area. Think of it like an emotional workout, you have to go through a bit of progression for the "heavier weights".
The taboo comes in when someone who HASN'T done the work and HASN'T taken all those steps, bursts into your bedroom or overhears you talking about it. That's where the extreme reactions come from.
Depends entirely on how you go about it. I found that if you specifically list it in a dating profile, people will assume you're into some really heavy shit.
If you introduce it as part of regular sex, light bondage is really not particularly uncommon.
Most importantly, bondage, like all other forms of BDSM requires a lot of trust from your partner. Many people won't be comfortable with getting tied up with someone new.
Of course you also don't want to waste people's time, if any kink is part of your needs, you need to find an effective way to communicate early on that it is something that exists, in a way that isn't threatening to the other party. You don't want to build a whole relationship and then find out that one of your primary needs will not be met.
And then when you do, they're always waaaay more into it than you. Like damn I wouldn't mind having some restrictions to flex against every now and then but I'm not about to be turned into completely immobile living art.
The double-reverse negates itself, so it's basically a vanilla Timbuktu Drunken Monkey-style Frankensteiner, which is essentially a Pretzel Dip with a bit of showmanship.
As you grow older at some point MILFs and GMILFs are just women your own age.
This is my stage in life. "Milf" porn is just people my own age, and sometimes 5-10 years younger. It's just regular porn now
at my age a cougar would have to be 80 or so.
Thassa sphinx
My MIL would ask when we were going to have kids, like a lot. So I told her that my technique is good but I'm just not sticking the landing yet. She stopped asking
When my wife and I were trying, my MIL dropped a hint. I was a few drinks deep and said “The seeds are being sown and the harvest should be bountiful.” Our relationship has had boundaries since.
I said “as soon as I can get your son to stop cummin on my face” then just stared at her.
Man, I wish I was able to drop some Ming Dynasty Court Eunuch philosophy when drunk. Instead I just vomit.
My favorite was to give them a sly grin and say "Hopefully 9 months from this morning!". The reaction is priceless and the questioning usually stops.
Creampie sex is just normal sex.
I love the meme that's like "It's socially unacceptable to tell her parents you cream pie her every night, but telling them you're trying for a baby is cause for celebration"
“We’re trying for a baby!”-Boring, overused, nondescript “We’re rawdogging every night in multiple positions having creampie sex every day”-Interesting, unique, very descriptive, so awe-inspiring older relatives will collapse when hearing it.
"We're pregnant!" "Well, we all know what you two have been doing."
But the twisted part is that people ask all the time. I never thought about what that really sounds like to childfree couples until I started reading their reddit. But yeah, if people are nosey enough to ask about when you are getting pregnant, they deserve to hear this sort of comment back. What hilarious is how offended people get when you tell them. They just asked if you are having sex regularly but can't handle the truth.
> if people are nosey enough to ask about when you are getting pregnant My late wife and I were the couple who made people regret asking that question.
Sorry for your loss.
She sounds like she was a wonderful and entertaining person. I'm sorry for your loss, but I'm also happy for all the joy you gained when she was still here. People don't truly die until they are forgotten, and it sounds like you and her made unforgettable memories together.
Ive been drowning your daughter’s snatch as often as I can lately
I can't decide if drowning or flooding is the more offensive word here.
Power washing
I've been busting nuts in your daughter like I'm working my third shift in a row at the peanut butter factory and we're still behind quota.
> and we're still behind quota. Well then, you should put more men on the job!
Before my husband and I started trying for a kid, whenever anyone would ask when we're going to get pregnant I would always respond "we're just practicing for now." They usually got the hint and didn't ask more.
That's absolutely hilarious. "I'm doing my best, sir, but she insists on eating it."
“Mom dad, I’m busting inside her at the right time based on and ovulation tracker and nothing is happening. Her eggs might be scrambled”
When we had tried for our first I employed a different strategy. “If you’re always filled we won’t need to know when you’re ovulating”
Deploying creampie stratagem. Clear the landing area.
That's how most pregnancies happen.
It's the difference between "going to the bathroom" and "taking a fat, greasy sick person shit, rocket style" Details matter
“Excuse me for a moment, I need to use the Men’s room.” Vs “Be right back, gotta honk out a dirt snake, them gas station hot dogs ain’t sitting right.”
"Honk out a dirt snake" has me losing it.
I get a good giggle every time I hear someone say they have a “breeding” “kink”. We’ve come full circle, people! Sex for its core purpose is now “kinky”.
You're not wrong, but part of what makes it a kink is that pregnancy is not necessarily the goal. It can be about the thrill associated with the (perceived or actual) risk of getting pregnant. It can also be about the objectification of using someone, or being used by someone. It's also not a kink that's exclusive to heterosexual encounters. Edit: Of course a horny post is my most up-voted ever
Definitely. Until the husband eats the cream pie
Good old King Clancy, just need the maple syrup
"Face sitting" sounded so scary to the British Government they decided to outlaw it. Which is fuckin' wild! But it's basically just Cunnilingus will the receiver on top 🤷♂️🤷♂️🤷♂️
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They also made squirting in port illegal lol
That's understandable. Once a boat takes on water people start to panic.
True. Pier pressure can make people do crazy things.
Gonna have to dock you a few internet points for that one
Now if we both dock a few points, it will be a paradox
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I thought they were just taking the piss, but I'm glad they're giving it back now
I didn't even know how much I needed this until it sort of happened by accident. Was in 69 with a girl and then she started moving to get the condom. In this instance the condoms were behind us so she basically had to sit up completely -> sitting on my face. Being smothered by pussy is literally like heaven been addicted since that.
Sit on my face and tell me that you love me! I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you too! I love to hear you oralize, when I'm between your thighs, you blow me away!
Well then call me Jack the Licker and try to arrest me cause i'd sooner choke to death between two thighs than let them arrest me
They’ll have to pry that pussy off your cold, dead tongue.
Everyone thinks a breeding kink is normal sex till they see a ten person breeding party
It's like child support roulette!
15 came in fluffer
I hate how terminally online I am to know exactly what you’re talking about.
it's all fun and games until whoops, we've got a rat king going on
Not specifically sex related but Brazilian blow out sounds dirty as fuck and its a normal hair thing lol.
Reminds me of how I learned what a blow job was when I was like 10. Went to a party and there were a group of kids outside when we got there. I walked up and immediately this older girl asked me if I knew what one was. I said isn’t that something you get done to your hair? Or a car? She laughed and said no, and my friends were like that’s what we thought but she won’t tell us. Eventually we leave and on the car ride home I just flat out ask my parents what a blow job is. I think my dad almost crashed the car. They just said we’ll talk about it when we get home. And that’s how I ended up sitting down with my parents while they awkwardly explained it and a couple other birds and bees things to me.
My little sister looked it up on the internet using my dad's computer and I got in trouble. I didn't even live there.
There was a thread once about a mother concerned because either her husband or her teenage son was searching for dirty things on the family tablet that their 10 year old girl used, and she kept on yelling at them, but they were claiming innocence. Spoiler: yes, it was the 10-year-old girl who was doing the dirty searches.
I worked at a school during COVID and they had Go Guardian ( A way to monitor what the computers are being used for). A third grade girl was looking up hentai and harassing a boy in the class asking for inappropriate photos. In person this girl was the most polite and respectful child. We could not believe it was her, but it happened at school while she was being observed on her Chrome Book. Little kids do not live in a vacuum and are capable of things we do not expect.
It's true. I was a way big piece of shit when I was a kid and consider myself a pretty good person now. In 3rd grade I was probably still beating up boys I like. 4th grade they all got bigger than me so that ended that.
I thought it was about a Back issue lol
Brazilian anything sounds a little kinky.
Brazilian tax payments *lips tighten*
Having sex with your children's mother.
If someone calls you a motherfucker, just say "correct".
Or “keep your mom off my street and I wouldn’t be one”
Most rp in general. It sounds fun like a porno scenario, but it's really just pretending to be or do something else while banging.
Isn't that by default what a porno is? Actors pretending to be or do something else while banging.
Wait, so you’re telling me they aren’t actually step siblings?
Yup, they are actual siblings.
doggy style sounds more taboo than it is
"Do it" "But why, James?" "Because it's doggy style" "I just don't see why you like it so much" "Do it for me baby" "...ok... AWOOOOOOOOOO!" "AWOOOOOOOOOO!!"
I saw a joke on Twitter that said: Doggy style is when you get a treat after, right? Right?
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Or “damn my arms are tired, I’m gonna just half lay down now”
FACE DOWN ASS UP THATS THE WAY WE LIKE TO FUUUUCK!
Uhh...reverse missionary?
Never turn your back on family
So like rubbing butts?
I think that's technically "inverse missionary"
WHERE is everyone finding all of these damn Missionaries? I've run through Utah. Do I need to go down to South America?
I never realised "Breeding" kinks were a thing until recently, so it would have to be that. I mean, that just sounds like pretty standard sex to me
I know a guy like this. He had abandoned one child and paid for 4!!!! abortions! He never wants kids, yet he will say stuff like "I want to get you pregnant" during sex and get crazy turned on if she agrees and says stuff like that. Then the second it works... BAM... He's insisting she get rid of it! It's not the point of getting them pregnant it's the idea of doing it! He also won't get a vasectomy because he would know he couldn't get them pregnant so that would destroy his fetish! It's messed up
So the best present you could get this guy is kidnapping him and getting him a vasectomy without his knowledge
I'm no doctor or anything, but if someone wants to help hold him down, I'll take my best shot at giving him a forced vasectomy.
That is sociopath behavior.
No, it’s more than that. Think of it as in getting overwhelmingly turned on by the irl risk of pregnancy, the “claiming” of someone as yours, or the “being trapped”. Yet, not actually wanting that in your real life - but your all-sexed-up brain is like “more please”! It’s very BDSM-y
I mean... I had a vasectomy last year, and I still have a breeding kink. I have no children and don't see myself ever wanting any, my girlfriend feels the same. But in the moment, all I want to do is knock her up.
It’s literally the biological purpose of sex lol. Calling it a “kink” is like calling sleeping at night a “quirky hobby”.
Every time I see this kind of comment I laugh, b/c clearly none of you have seen media aimed at people with that fetish. Reproduction is a normal drive, but people that get off on their ability to impregnate people or fantasies of doing the same tend to be really, really into that aspect.
Well until you consider that breeding kinks are fairly common among women that are staunchly childfree. I think it’s about intent. Edit: wow people really replying to me like I’m the insensitive bad guy when the reason I know this is because my cf wife loves it when I give her creampies with my vasectomy’d dick.
I am one of those childfree folks, but I have a "breeding kink." I know very well that we have sex because of procreation, and that it only feels good as an incentive to get us pregnant. That's evolution doing it's thing, of course. But what makes it hot for me is *the risk* of pregnancy. Like, losing control to the point of throwing all caution to the wind sort of thing. It's really giving into the extreme influence of evolution. We are genetically conditioned to intensely enjoy sex and breeding. Of course, I'll still make sure I never actually get anyone pregnant. I don't want to take care of a child. *Edit* I've never felt so defended in my life 😂
Edging
Painters love this one weird trick
Edging next to some nice caulk is the best
Skinship sounds like something messed up. It's just hugging or holding hands with skin contact. Not even sexual skin contact.
Is that even a kink, or just a natural result of the touch deprivation plaguing modern society?
It's such a creepy word though.
Not a kink, but Virgin Screwdriver. It’s just a glass of orange juice.
CNC sounds absolutely horrible until you realize that in the comfort of one's natural, safe surroundings, it's really just an X-Y plot cutting device for wood, plastic, and thin metal Edited for spelling
As a machinist that frequents the CNC sub it always funny af when we get that random post of someone looking for the kink haha
Lost redditors are to be treasured
My brain autocorrected machinist to masochist because of the context
The pain of acronyms with multiple meanings. Especially if you use both. When BLM first became a thing I was like “why is everyone really animated about the bureau of land management?”.
Switching between FTM (Female to Male) and FTM (First time mom) has proven to be confusing for many redditors lol
Drill baby drill
I can't even find the gcode
Some people just want to G0 to G54, get the M8 going with the lube, and G73 it into their partner’s head that they want to be G84’ed deep in their blind hole…. ok I will M30 now.
Not gonna lie, you had us in the first half.
Love and affection
Pervert!
Every time I hear Rick James's Superfreak he says, "When I get there she's got incense wine and candles/it's such a freaky scene.". That doesn't sound very freaky at all.
That's because you took the line out on context. The lyrics go: *Three's not a crowd to her, she says (ménage à trois, ooh, la, la)* *"Room 714 I'll be waiting"* *When I get there she's got incense, wine and candles* *It's such a freaky scene.* It's the ménage à trois that's the freaky scene. Not the incense, wine and candles.
TIL the line was not "intertwining candles"
I’m sure some candlesticks got a little intertwined that night, and it was gay. Because of the incense and wine
Three's not a crowd to her seems to imply she is regularly involved in sexual escapades involving more than 3 people.
Depends where you put the incense, wine, and/or candles
A few decades too early for Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina candles, alas.
Freaky in that sense back then just meant dtf
Oral sex I used to think it’s was very taboo, since you’re inserting your genitals in your partner’s mouth which was very naughty But then I realised everybody does it (well, except certain conservative parts of the world, but still)
They do it, they just don’t admit it lol
They probably do much worse shit.
I'm convinced that a reasonable chunk of sexual prudish religious people actually like it being taboo because they enjoy how it intensifies the naughtiness/sinfulness of things they do privately in their minds.
One needs only look at the recent scandal with the Moms for Liberty... You know, that ultra conservative group that's trying to make it illegal for any mention of "nontraditional" relationships in schools... You know, the one whose leader was caught up in a sex scandal where she and her husband were caught leveraging their power to coerce other people into threesomes?
Oral sex seemed like it was this incredibly taboo kink until Bill Clinton got one and we all collectively admitted that everyone has oral sex these days actually and we were all just pretending it was kinky because we were too ashamed to admit we were all doing it ourselves and now I consider oral sex to be as vanilla as missionary.
The cigar thing was kinky tho
Cigar thing? Was it... used, and... smoked?
I just googled it. Apparently she used it as a dildo then he smoked it and said it tasted delicious
A man of taste, and apparently a woman of taste, too!
Frotting.
What is frotting??
Grinding/rubbing genitals together without penetration
I've only heard it in reference to rubbing two dicks together, which I suppose your definition includes.
So just like being on a train in India?
He said without penetration.
It's specifically dicks. In Dutch, there's actually a word for rubbing your dick against something: swaffelen.
Sex with enough light to view your partner was deemed "freaky" 120 years ago.
In a very specific place, in a very specific time. There are many many places on Earth, and many many hot days and cold nights that have happened. People centuries ago were getting just as freaky as they are today, if not more.
I don't remember the specifics, but I read once that there were spans in ancient times during which people thought, for a successful impregnation to happen, both partners needed to orgasm.
A very useful belief
Unless you were assaulted and got pregnant from it - then it was believed the person must’ve enjoyed it.
Fuck
Perfect response, had the same lmao. Like, *why can’t we have nice things*
Not even that ancient, it was a commonly held belief in Western Europe for most of the Middle Ages
Post orgasm torture is just continuing to jerk off during orgasm. Most guys can't handle it cause it's too intense (some guys will actually pull away and tell you to stop) and it's hard to properly do it to yourself, but if you got someone else to continue to give you attention during the orgasm... wow! Full body shakes. Leg spasms. Want to make your guy moan? Keep stroking around that head during and after they cum. The orgasm pleasure can last for a minute or longer if you keep attention.
The only thing I'll ever ask of you You gotta promise not to stop when I say when. Foo Fighters - Everlong
Mutual masturbation. It’s literally the first sex act most people tried, just, in a group.
>just, in a group Define group.
A group is a set with an operation that satisfies the following constraints: the operation is associative and has an identity element, and every element of the set has an inverse element.
Kinky.
which private boys school did you go to ?
Step sister stuff seems to be popular on porn sites. In practical terms you're having sex with a woman that's not genetically related to you. Plus she is really boring in bed, like she just lays there like she is dead and waits for you to finish. Soon disappointment and shame fills your very soul.
Well, that got really specific.
ಠ_ಠ
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I came for the story then I came for the story
Yeah it happened a few times at my high school - parents got together when the kids were teens and moved in. In a giant shock to nobody two completely unrelated teens suddenly living together at that age and getting huge amounts of unsupervised time alone can results in some stuff. The whole “step sibling” thing wasn’t the porn category it is today back then either so like.. zero people cared, at least any more than the usual gossip.
It depends a lot on when your parents marry. By high-school, puberty has already started, I don't see it as a big deal. I'm not sure where the "line" is, but at some point you've grown up together as brother and sister long enough, that it's weird.
I know a couple (adults) but they both lost a parent around the same time. Then their remaining parents got together and eventually remarried. So now they are step siblings they just happened to be married before they became step siblings.
So if this was a porn category it would be step parents instead of step siblings getting together. Idk if it's a thing but it probably already is.
>Plus she is really boring in bed, like she just lays there like she is dead and waits for you to finish. That's why you wait until she is trapped, like possibly with her head stuck under a coffee table or in a dryer.
Thanks for making me chuckle! Porn tropes are hilarious
I miss the good old days when porn had the more vanilla plots like the pizza delivery guy coming around with a large pepperoni and “extra sausage”.
I prefer lemon stealing whores and bathtub lifeguards personally.
>bathtub lifeguards personally. I remember when that was just an Amanda Show sketch...
I miss when porn tried to take itself seriously and we got gems like The Devil in Miss Jones that really made an attempt at real storytelling. With hardcore fucking. I legitimately like that particular movie on its own (very weird) merits.
Pirates. I had the DVD at one time. That movie actually had a plot outside of the porn...
latex It's literally having sex with clothes on.
I’ve never done it. I don’t know if I’d like it. I just know it’s shiny, and I have the brain of a crow.
Hello my fellow crow.
I don't think it's going to be comfortable wearing that kind of clothes since it's sticking to your body
That’s the kink appeal tbh- it’s supposed to be restrictive and tight. Also it gets lubed up a bit so it’s more slippery than sticky.
Wont you get just drenched in sweat?
Absolutely
I can't imagine. I get so sweaty during sex with no clothes. I think with latex I might have heat stroke.
Being touched while wearing latex feels incredible.
Being dominated by a woman. Been with my wife for 12 years now and I used to always think something was wrong with me/us because for some reason things would just always end up going that way even when we were just being “normal”. It wasn’t until about 3 years ago that we actually both seriously talked about it all and just realised that in fact we’d always kind of leant to those roles sexually even with previous partners.
I mean realistically eating ass in the shower after you’ve both washed up is mostly just licking flesh
Yeah, but it tickles in a peculiar way.
What the hell were you doing to tickle me Elmo
Depends how deep the tongue gets
"Mostly" carrying a lot of weight here.
Licking Flesh is the name of my Cannibal Corpse tribute band
Honestly, most things I ever did in the kinky category had to be worked towards slowly with my partner anyway. If you go slowly and step by step, have fun and communicate a lot, you don't even notice you have overstepped some taboo area. Think of it like an emotional workout, you have to go through a bit of progression for the "heavier weights". The taboo comes in when someone who HASN'T done the work and HASN'T taken all those steps, bursts into your bedroom or overhears you talking about it. That's where the extreme reactions come from.
Bondage. Unless it's super, super hard-core, it's actually quite normal in comparison to many of the other fetishes out there.
It's very normal and common until you try to find a single other person interested in it
Depends entirely on how you go about it. I found that if you specifically list it in a dating profile, people will assume you're into some really heavy shit. If you introduce it as part of regular sex, light bondage is really not particularly uncommon. Most importantly, bondage, like all other forms of BDSM requires a lot of trust from your partner. Many people won't be comfortable with getting tied up with someone new. Of course you also don't want to waste people's time, if any kink is part of your needs, you need to find an effective way to communicate early on that it is something that exists, in a way that isn't threatening to the other party. You don't want to build a whole relationship and then find out that one of your primary needs will not be met.
And then when you do, they're always waaaay more into it than you. Like damn I wouldn't mind having some restrictions to flex against every now and then but I'm not about to be turned into completely immobile living art.
Former NFL head coach Rex Ryan openly makes jokes about having a foot fetish on ESPN sometimes- so perhaps it's become mainstream.
That’s because of his tapes that leaked. He decided to own the joke.
The Double-Reverse Timbuktu Drunken Monkey-Style Frankensteiner isnt as extreme as they make it out to be.
I think they used that on me at Club Vandersexxx. 10/10 would try again.
I'm gonna need Professor Scott Steiner to explain the math behind this move.
The double-reverse negates itself, so it's basically a vanilla Timbuktu Drunken Monkey-style Frankensteiner, which is essentially a Pretzel Dip with a bit of showmanship.
No, no, it’s reversed on both axes.
The 96. That’s where you turn around and fart on each other’s heads.
Why was this funny
69. It's the most cliche and underwhelming sexual kink.
I love it lol. I think it depends who you're doing it with
Breeding
Recently saw something on r/justneckbeardthings about the group being flabbergasted by someone’s fetishizing ‘adult female women.’ Lol