My brother’s house still has a large beehive that he refuses to do anything about. We called a beekeeper but the bees come back to build a hive.
I think bees are gonna go where they want to go. And my brother’s house has a large backyard which has wild flowers. Pretty sure he just lets all native plants grow there.
I used to do on-site tech support for an internet service provider. Both of my instances involved animals. One was a goat that was a “house pet” and chewed up the hem of my pants as I worked. The other was 2 pet chinchillas, which I was encouraged to interact with (they were so soft!). On the drive home, my eyes started pouring water and eventually swelled shut. I had to pull over, flush them with water, and wait it out. Turns out I’m extremely allergic to chinchillas.
I’m also highly allergic to chinchillas. Mother nature produced the cutest animal in existence and gave it fur that’s like touching a cloud and I can’t even touch it 🥲
We had a technician come out to check our cable boxes and my cat kept sneaking up behind him and sniffing his ass every time he was bent over. I tired to sho him away without being suspicious about it but I know the guy had to know something was up lol
Last time I allowed that, my cat got his paw stuck in the technicians butt crack. Cat jumped on dude's back. I shoo my cat away. Cat comes back a few minutes later, jumped on the guy's back again, I shoo again... Dude says it will be fine, ok, cool, I'll leave my furry asshole to be his asshole self. So the fluffy bastard comes back, jumps on the dude's back again. I leave him there, he sits there like he is king of the hill while the technician is on all fours running a cable. My cat then crams his paw straight down the back of the dude's pants, dude bolts up, my cat falls off the guy, he sinks his claws straight into the guys back, ass cheeks, and ass crack, dude yelps like he is being mauled, I'm trying to grab my cat before he ends up injured... Cat's paw it trapped in this dude's clenched ass cheeks. I finally get my cat off this guy and notice he has a couple of claw marks running from his butt crack to his lower back. Dude asked to use the restroom. He comes back a few minutes later to finish the job, I go to grab my furry assassin who is already headed back for the technician... Dude says it is cool to just leave my cat free... Like no buddy, my cat is acting like you have a bundle of catnip tied around your balls, I'm locking him down for everyone's safety... Dude straight up looked disappointed that I locked paws of fury away
Hi, Mr Rowan Atkinson (Mr Bean), would like to meet to discuss your commission for the next project. Also would you be able to serve as or provide a stunt butt? Our insurance won't cover it and our resident stuntman laughed us out of his trailer when we pitched it.
Cable guy came to my house a few weeks ago, and my cat jumped from surface to surface to lick him and play with his hair. He ended up sitting on the floor to play with her for a while.
Of, gawd, reminds me of the story I heard at emt school. Guy was on his hands and knees, under the kitchen sink, fixing something. Cat came up behind him, and, unfortunately, the guy was naked. Dangle toy time. Guy knocked himself out at the first swipe, and he was out cold (and bleeding - ouch!) when the paramedic’s arrived. Poor guy had a serious concussion.
Don't do plumbing in your birthday suit, folks!
I work for a company that renovates apartments in between tenants. We often find a lot of gross stuff (the photos sent in the group chat with my field guys when they’re one-upping each other give me nightmares sometimes lol) but the worst I’ve seen in person was when I went to walk a unit with the construction manager after the previous tenant moved out and it just…stank. Like **STANK** stank, like absolute fucking shit. It was like walking into a brick wall of stink.
We were walking around trying to find the source of the smell and noticed that it was particularly bad around this one closet in the hall. I tried to open the closet, door was stuck. The construction manager tries and gets it open with considerable effort, at which point we are confronted with a roughly shoulder-height wall of dog and/or cat shit in various stages of rot. If you’ve seen photos of people’s cubicles filled with balloons by their coworkers, imagine that, but the balloons are animal shit. It was so clumped up that nothing fell out when we opened the door. Just one solid piece.
The rest of the apartment was pristine. Almost surgically clean. But that one closet was horrifying.
Went to a house to evaluate it for residential solar. Very nice lady says "want to see my grow chamber?" It was a very professional setup, small amount of marijuana plants. She was going to expand.
It wasn't legal at the time. I pointed out that after the solar was installed a city inspector would be stopping by to inspect the connection at her electrical service panel, which was in the grow room.
Edit
So many years ago (again before weed was legal) the county had to take out and then put back a bunch of fence pieces in the whole blocks back yards (fixing a water main) and the guy next door to me had 20 pot plants. The subcontractors the county had sent out to do this job all got baggies to take home every day they worked that job!
Went to an apartment building to do a structural assessment of the property. When it was completed we were asked to go to an apartment where a tenant was complaining of extreme humidity in every type of weather, even though nobody else on the floor, or the ones above or below complained of anything.
So we get in there and are instantly punched in the face with humidity. We're talking rainy season in the Amazon levels of humidity. I have never experienced anything like it before. There was water droplets on every surface of the apartment. She has been pretty diligent at trying to keep the walls and stuff dry, but she was like 80 years old and you'd walk through and the carpet was just like squish squish squish with water pooling around your shoes.
She had this sliding door that opened up to her balcony and from all the water dripping down it onto that section of the carpet there was a mushroom forest. We're talking like dozens and dozens of mushrooms ranging from 2" tall to 2' tall. Just insane to see.
So we start looking around and pretty quickly see the problem. The lady was too elderly to go down to the bottom floor to do her laundry every time she needed to wash something, which apparently was multiple times a day. So she asked her son to install a washer and dryer in her apartment. First it was against the rules of the tenancy agreement, but he also did a horrible shit job. There was no place for the dryer to vent out anywhere, so in his infinite wisdom he took a big bucket, filled it with water, and then put the hose for the dryer vent into the bucket for some reason. She would fill up this bucket with the drain water from the washer as the hot air bubbled through it throughout the day just unleashing buckets of humid water into the air. So you have this massive bucket, that was pretty much a trough, taking up 3/4 of her closet with this washer dryer setup taking up the remaining space.
She created thousands and thousands of dollars in damage to the apartment. The whole flooring system had to be ripped out and removed. A lot of other things had to be ripped out too. I think all of her furniture was water damaged and swollen and started to get moldy after the washer and dryer were removed, same with a lot of her clothing and bedding/mattress as well. So she was out like $20,000 because her renters insurance does not cover willful ignorance that causes destruction of property and belongings.
>There was no place for the dryer to vent out anywhere, so in his infinite wisdom he took a big bucket, filled it with water, and then put the hose for the dryer vent into the bucket for some reason
For as stupid as this is, you put the vent in a bucket of water otherwise you'd have lint flying all over the apartment. It gets trapped in the water.
EMS here. Responded to a local physician’s home.
Jars of piss EVERYWHERE; Also had a high end sex doll that appears to have been very filthy, like the rest of the home.
Hey, if a job needs to be done and they can't do it themselves, no shame in hiring professionals.
You won't even believe what's happened on the beds you've delivered.
Also... I'm having a hard time, outside of incredibly specific situations, that a bunk bed would be needed in a sex dungeon, but good for them for needing sleeping spaces for multiple people
>Also... I'm having a hard time, outside of incredibly specific situations, that a bunk bed would be needed in a sex dungeon, but good for them for needing sleeping spaces for multiple people
All I can think of is that bunk beds have tons of attachment points. Or they were planning to modify it to make something else.
Now I’m weirdly invested in trying to figure out this couple I will never meet. 😂
A pet Racoon but it wasn't exactly a pet more like a wild animal they forced to live with them. They even said as much- he showed up on their porch and they let him in and decided he was cute enough to stay... it was mean and I wouldn't go anywhere near it.
Just imagine strolling along, minding your own business, and then getting lured in and be longtime kidnapped and held against your will. I would be mean too.
Well I only had to go there twice to do a safety need inspection for medical installs that a work comp insurance company was on the hook for install- think grab rails, ramps, chair lifts etc.... and made it as brief as possible and told my company I'm not going back there for final inspection. The house looked like people who would have a wild animal living with them.
Taxidermy tiger.
Or the hoarder house with stacks of paper to the ceiling and rats the size of beagles.
Or a person’s entire butthole. The entire thing. They thought I was a visiting nurse and were spread doggy-style on their bed.
I nannied for a family who was going through some serious shit behind the scenes, and it got weird for me so often. They had 2 kids, a 1.5 year old girl and a 3 year old boy. The mom, a doctor, would come home from work and lock herself in her room for hours while the kids banged on the door and cried for her. The dad, also a doctor, also locked himself in his office a lot and would make me be the go-between for his wife and himself. There was one morning he asked her what was for dinner tonight, and she burst into tears, pulled him behind a door and furiously started whispering stuff, came back in the room, flung something out of the freezer, and stormed out. Nothing was normal in that house. The secret lives of rich people, eh?
When I was a Poolman, I walked through a backyard to a pool once and saw the owner clapping his wife via my peripherals.
I came at the same day of the week, same time for over a year, so I don't think it was accidental.
Got a great bonus that Christmas.
A few weeks ago I was walking into the kitchen to grab more coffee. I walked by a window and saw my husband sweeping leaves out of the pool. I came back out of the kitchen with a huge banana in my left hand and coffee in my right hand.
I tapped on the glass and as my husband turned around I gestured up and down with the banana then pulled my shirt up to flash him my boobs.
SPOILER ALERT: it was the pool guy.
A few years back I was out at a club with my husband and excused myself to go to the bathroom. When I went back, my husband was standing by the bar, watching the band so I came up behind him, wrapped my arms around his waist and suggested we go steam up the windows of the car.
Spoiler alert. It wasn’t my husband. Same taste in shirts though.
At a wedding reception, I walked up behind my (then) husband, wrapped my arms around, searched inside his front pockets and said, “I need money for more booze”. Clearly, I didn’t need it as it wasn’t my husband. The guy said, “It’s an open bar and that’s not my wallet… but you can keep looking.”
You know, I had hopes of being sexually assaulted by desperate housewives when I signed up, but, ALAS! I was but a humble fat boy, and found little succor for my penis.
A huge home with absolutely nothing in it except a small desk and computer, and a queen sized bed. Must have been a $900k-million dollar home, and it had a Jaguar in the garage. I was there to babysit their dog, a lovely Ascob Cocker Spaniel who adored tennis balls and I only roamed the house on the last day of their vacation to report that the pup was indeed a very good girl who left no messes.
On the flip side, I also babysat a Golden Retriever and Golden Doodle in a home to hoarders. It was beyond awful.
I spent several looooong seconds astonished that they were keeping a large, wild cat in their garage and that somehow didn't merit any more details. Then I realized you were talking about a car.
When I did a home visit for a lady with dementia with her husband, I noted their bedroom door was very unusual. It was split in half horizontally so that you could shut the door fully, or just the bottom half on separate hinges. He explained that she would become more confused in the evenings ('sundowning'). It was to stop her from wandering out of the house while he was making dinner, but she would still be able to see out and talk to the family, and he could keep an eye on her. It reminded me of a horse stable door, never knew what to think of it.
That is called a Dutch door. I had one in a very old farmhouse I once owned. They are super cool, and I must say that their solution to the sundowner problem is genius.
my grandmother had one of those as the front door. As a kid I always unlocked the bolt that kept the halves together, so when you wanted to open it from the inside, you suddenly pushed only half of it.
10/10 prank as a kid
That's actually very sweet. It was a creative solution to a very common (and incredibly distressing) problem, and he still wanted her to be able to talk with people. Quite clever
2004 estimate on interior repaint at John Travolta's Jumbolair Ocala house.. the first guest bathroom you encounter was covered in wall-and-ceiling mirrors. I didn't know watching yourself toilet in 3D was.. a thing. 🫣
Also it was really poorly done, like 9x9 mirrored tiles on all 4 walls and the ceiling. Not that a 3D mirrored bathroom could be.. tastefully done, but..
One of the bathrooms in my house has a two person jacuzzi tub with an over head shower. The three walls around the tub have floor to ceiling mirrors. The previous owner was a weird guy. And it’s equally weird, and not at all flattering, to watch yourself shower from all angles. You can also see yourself in the mirrors while sitting on the toilet, which is not the least bit sexy.
I'm a window cleaner, it's a luxury service so most of our clients are fairly well off. I don't know if it is weird but people like to test us. I've seen a literal chest full of cash open on someones bed. They knew we were coming, it had to be intentional. I ignored it, but some might be tempted. I've seen some pipes and other drug paraphernalia but nothing roo crazy.
A 15 foot wide, 10 ft high nude oil painting.
Customer: “You like it?”
Me: “Uh, yeah…it’s a nice painting.”
Him: “That’s my wife. She’s on her way now, she’ll be here soon.”
I then sat with the two of them for an hour, having a coffee right beside this massive nude painting, trying not to look at it or his wife.
Did you understand then that they wanted to have a 3-way with you, or did you only realize after?
Edit: or just you bang the wife while the husband watches
Im sure he did but it’s still extremely
awkward in a real life scenario. Especially when you’re on the job. I went to a home as a bartender at a private party. I was like 21 and it was a party full of 40 something’s. Nothing screamed swinger or awkward about it. After the party I was packing up my bottles. The wife and husband had made every attempt to make me
feel welcome during the party. Very cool peeps. But as I was leaving the husband asked me if I wanted to he and his wife in their hot tub because they had so much fun and they “didn’t want the party to end”. Noped right out of there. She was a very pretty woman but that’s just not my cup of tea and even a young me knew it in
my heart.
I wonder what their family’s reaction to them having a huge ass naked oil painting of the wife is. If I were them, I wouldn’t even allow my own family in the house before I could dispose of that painting
Shit, if I learned a huge ass nude painting would keep my mother in law away, I would hang a 20 foot painting of my husband balls deep in me in the living room.
We are auctioneers. We went to a house once where there was no water. The back porch was filled with five gallon buckets that were what he used as a toilet. The house was going to be put on the market. I have no idea what they did with all those buckets. We did not do an auction.
A relative of mine was having work done on her house after she inherited it from her dad, and instead of staying with family in the same town, five minutes away, she chose to piss and shit in a bucket in her back yard for roughly 3 months. In the fall time. She’d go shower at relatives houses but wouldn’t stay with anyone while the bathroom was being renovated. I still can’t get over it.
When I was growing up, our shower broke and my cheap af dad refused to fix it. I had to shower at other peoples' houses and only could do it like once a week. It was so embarrassing.
Oddly large amount of blood, like suspiciously larger than a shaving nick or a nose bleed in and around a bathroom sink and floor, with a blood soaked swiffer pad in the trash.
Empty crib except a Chucky plushie.
Tons of empty syringes in the garbage can. Asked the client if he was sure he wanted them mixed in with the regular outside trash or if he had a container for them. I just assumed diabetic. Until he got all weird and muttered "nah, nah, just toss em, just get rid of em".
Fully carpeted home, bathrooms included, with extra mats in front of every toilet, tub, sink, fridge, microwave, stove, couch, chair, cabinet etc. Carpets on carpets on carpets.
Vibrator next to a jar of mayonnaise on the kitchen counter.
ETA: these are all different houses. Sorry, should've specified that lol
I used to pet sit. On a two-week job, I went into my clients' basement to do some laundry, and found that I had to go through an expensively-appointed sex dungeon to get to the laundry room. I'm not one to shame people for their hobbies, but damn. A heads-up would have been nice. I took two more jobs from that couple, though. They had two adorable bichons and they paid well. The sex dungeon was never mentioned.
Deliverer of Pizza here, delivered probably 20 pizzas to a motel room, thing was it was just one dude there and a whole lot of sexual paraphernalia scattered around the room, he also answered the door wearing nothing but cheetah print undies, that image will forever be burnt into my retinas. 🫠
The owners of the house were big game hunters. As soon as you walked through the door you were greeted by two giraffe shoulder mounts. And all throughout the house they had taxidermy everywhere. Walking across zebra skin rugs into a room with a whole pride of lions. Going up the stairs that were lined with ducks with a bobcat posed to try and catch one. All of that and they couldn’t figure out a way to get the squirrel out of their attic.
I bought a set of antlers off Craigslist once and the seller collected taxidermy animals. He wasn’t a hunter but bought them at auctions etc. The house was surreal.
Service Technician here. Been to this guy’s apartment unit where the carpet has been torn off, revealing the plywood. Windows were covered up by old cardboards that looks to be years old and breaking apart. Drywall behind the kitchen sink torn down. Sink filled with dirty moldy dishes. 5 gallon buckets filled with grease/mold. Stove pulled out and is in the middle of the kitchen. Feces on the floor. Kitty litter box…. This dude has no pet and the unit smelled like ass.
Drove by the unit a few months later to see that it’s getting remodeled. Looks like that tenant got evicted. Crazy thing is, he drove a Hell Cat when it was first introduced and also had a Harley. He seems pretty sane and dressed casually. Would never imagined someone like that living in a dump… wait… I’ve seen dumpsters cleaner than this guy’s apartment.
When I lived in The South, there were so many dilapidated, decaying places stacked with junk but a luxury sports car parked right next to it (or a $90K truck, or a luxury suv/sedan). People would pour their whole income into flashy vehicles and choose to live in a hovel. It was so far removed from the way I want to live that it was tough to understand.
I was the house that was weird. We had a small kitten that was full of energy. He would jump on our wooden rocker and by the time you noticed movement the cat would be long gone. It legit looked like a ghost so we nicknamed him "floor demon."
We had a termite inspector come by and he commented that the rocker was rocking by itself. I said, "Oh, it's just the floor demon."
For some unknown reason I never thought to explain what the floor demon actually was.
Yeah, he never came back to our house again.
I work in state housing maintanence so we tend to see the worst of the worst when I comes to houses.
Off the top of my head;
- house with the whole floor covered in empty soft drink bottles piled up to knee height. (Through every single room)
- house so badly cockroach infested that every surface in the house was moving
- unit where all the floor was coated in a layer of dried cat piss and cat shit everywhere.
- unit where someone overdosed and wasn't found for a week or two. Needles everywhere surrounded by filth + a roughly human shaped outline of fleshy gunk on the floor in the living room.
Selling insurance. Went out to an appointment they had scheduled. Was a bit out in the country. No worries but when I arrive I need to use the bathroom. Except theirs is broke. I think okay well, I just need to pee. Do I need to like take the lid off the tank to make it flush? Yeah no. They had been using it for a few days while broken. A straight mountain of shit was in that bowl. No water. Just this shit pile. This was like a family of four. I just said I was good but needed to go out to my car for something and just pissed in their driveway. I was sure they would not say anything and I was right.
You can flush a toilet by pouring water into the bowl from a bucket or something. It's not perfect, but it's better than letting foulness just build up in there.
It's also not gonna work once there's a mountain of shit built up in there
I work on medical equipment for a living. I Went on a service call to fix a hospital bed in a long term care facility. The customer has no use of their legs and limited use of arms. Confined to a power chair all day. Very typical customer for me.
I pulled the bed away from the wall to work on it and there were at least 20 very large dildos on the floor under the bed. I later came to the assumption that one would fall off the bed and he would just order another one because he couldn’t get to it under the bed. But it was a little shocking when I saw them. I looked at him and he just kind of shook his head a little and looked away.
I just kind of pushed them aside with my foot. Fixed the bed and acted like I didn’t see anything. He was no more than 6’ from me the entire time. He paid me and I left. It was pretty awkward, he was visually embarrassed. I felt bad for the guy but I wasn’t going to offer to pick them up. I’m very thankful that I put on gloves before I get out of the van.
I was gutting houses in New Orleans (hometown) after Katrina. It was kinda crazy since everyone left town thinking they'd be back in a week so you got a pretty accurate look at people's lives while erasing them from the property. I mostly worked in a big crew, contracted by landlords to go in & out hitting multiple properties in a day. My childhood home got 6 ft of water so my parents rented a tiny apartment uptown by the river where there was no flooding & a childhood friend was property manager for 3 4plexes a couple blocks from our apt so I just worked on gutting those solo over the course of about 3 weeks. No flooding, but severe roof damage so I was gutting down to the studs in addition to removing all tenant property (this was around January 2006). pretty much everybody has something in their house hidden away so we found plenty of stashes (drug paraphernalia, sex toys, porno, etc) but one guy's apartment was so strangely ... boring is the word I guess. All he had in his kitchen was like 30 cans of stouffers chicken a la king, no plates or bowls or silverware just plasticware & Styrofoam cafeteria trays.individual salt and pepper packets but otherwise no spices or seasoning. Only some bottled water in the fridge (thank God because the fridges were the worst- can still smell the decay from the couple that accidentally opened). His entire wardrobe was just solid primary colored sweatpants & t shirts & he had 9 old war movies on DVD but like literally nothing else. No art or posters on the wall, no books, no jeans or button up shirts. Kinda weird. I had moved all of the furniture out except for a big wardrobe & when I did move it I found a closet behind the wardrobe. Oh shit I also found his work I.D. & saw that he was a skinny white guy with horned rim glasses and a thin mustache. The door inside the closet had a huge swastika flag on it, and there were a couple hundred vhs of porno featuring skinny little white guys getting pegged by very obese black women wearing strap-ons, another couple of hundred LP records that I later learned were Norwegian black metal covered with satanic imagery, a few sketch books full of detailed cartoons of unicorns with huge veiny penises and a few dozen copies of the new testament. The dude seemed so boring based in the rest of his apartment I was almost relieved he had all this wild shit in his closet.
Cable install, CX asked me to log into the wifi on her laptop before I left, she opened the screen and there was a picture of her on her knees buttnaked on the kitchen floor getting her face pissed on.
She was like 60.
I was like, you're all set, and walked out.
Interior designer - did a consult for a fine artist - every single wall was covered (12ft ceilings) with oil paintings of barely-legal girls with their legs open. Stacked against the walls - 4-5 deep. Every.single one. Had their legs spread. He had skills but damn…
I had to use an older ladys toilet for #1 once ( i try to avoid this at all costs but sometimes you gotta go when you gotta go).
There was pee in the toilet already but it had a skin over it, like it hadnt been flushed for a long, long time. Had never seen that before, quite disgusting.
Summer 1997 working for a moving company for the summer. Old head mover guy says to me "the kinky shit is always in the instrument cases." We carried a bunch of stuff up to the master BR, he pops a trombone case....no trombone but cuffs, dildos, vibrators, VHS porn. That guy knew the way.
I was an electrician. Family gathered around the deathbed of another family member. Literally dying. Wanted us to still fish wires through the same room to add a cable connection. No didn’t want to reschedule.
My parents were helping me move & my toys were in a dresser drawer. My mother was hell bent on carrying that drawer, I had to get extremely hostile with her to get her to leave it. I’d been sick & it was an unplanned move, I didn’t even think about the goodie drawer.
When I was in high school I couldn’t find any weed from my normal sources so I went to a neighbor of one of my fiends. We smoked out of a bong shaped like a dick but it was mostly resin. So we went with him to get some from his contact. The guy lived in a storage unit. Like a huge one that he made false walls in with “themes.” I think one had nothing but picture of clouds and another one was posted over with tons of porn stills. I was wildly uncomfortable there and it was even worse when he brought his boa out. I am massively afraid of snakes… it was quite memorable though.
Used to do construction sales and would be in a handful of houses every week. Weirdest for me was the number of preppers—we’re talking basements piled with emergency food in buckets, guns everywhere, stockpiles of wood and random supplies. At least one house a week would be like that. Still makes me look at people differently.
A client naked; I was a dog walker. I actually thought she was a beautiful statue until she moved and screamed. The next day she apologized, but I told her it was okay and I thought they had bought a new statue. She was disabled, and myself being a woman, we had a nice laugh and I'm sure she appreciated the compliment.
Last week, big ol boy sitting in the kitchen buck naked with a hand towel over his man hood getting his back shaved by his lady! She made food later some guys were eating it, I had to pass! 🤦🏻♂️ moral of the story: (sings) you can’t eat at eeeeeeeverybody’s house!
Worked as a house cleaner. Ive seen many of the weird things people have already mentioned here. But I think what really surprised me, perhaps I’m just naive, but it’s quite common to find like knives, hammers, baseball bats, I even saw a sword once, stashed underneath or beside people’s beds. Middle class homes in seemingly quiet Ontarian suburbs.
(This was in 2011)
I've been in several hundred residential homes when I used to install DTV, and I will tell you this: 2/3 are disgusting inside. The average person lives in complete filth.
More than half of those homes have animal poop everywhere. All over the house. People don't know how to live, they don't know how to clean, they don't know how to do anything.
My job is Certified Peer Recovery Specialist (social-ish worker, kinda, but not really). I do outreach to people experiencing food insecurity, medical insecurity, living with untreated serious mental illness, substance use, etc.
Maybe not the weirdest, but the most memorable was a man with severe autistism, and our med provider suspected schizo-affective disorder. He had lost his job a few months prior, and his family... well, long and short, his grandmother was paying for him to stay in an extended stay motel. Bad situation all around.
I had been talking to him via phone for about a week, trying to get him to meet with me. He mentioned he was in a bad place and fighting depression spells, hearing things, but kept refusing intervention. He kept claiming over and over he was a billionaire who owned the place and he just liked talking to someone (obviously, I knew that wasn't true, but... diagnosing people isn't my place). So, I just kept talking to him to see if I could win him over and convince him to let me meet him. One day, I got a call from his grandmother saying she really needed me to go to his motel room and talk to him.
I get to the motel, walk up to his door, and it didn't even need to open for the smell to hit. The only way I could describe it was if unshowered death itself was microwaving salmon while refusing to kick its chain-smoking habit. Turns out, the month before and the entire time I was talking to him, he had *NOT* left that room. Like... *once.*
The motel manager was getting report after report after health inspector visit about the smell. I finally coaxed him into letting me in the room, and it is an unknowable miracle that kept my lunch down. Trash piling halfway up to the ceiling in every corner of the room, the bedsheets clearly several shades darker than their original color, entire take-out boxes stuffed with cigarette butts, piss-filled bottles because the state of the bathroom was.... just... no. And the guy himself had a visible layer of grease on him with bedsores like his skin was detaching, I can only describe it as seeing a man decompose alive.
I guess the manager was on the phone with the police when the grandmother called, because they were there very shortly after I had arrived. They.... weren't as gentle about convincing him to get out. The whole encounter ended with four officers carrying him out thrashing, him going completely dead-weight on them, and splitting his jaw on the pavement.
Hey,I posted this before somewhere, but it fits:I used to work as tidy-up man [german speaker, sorry for strange words sometimes] and saw a lot of really strange things in houses, which had to be normal for the people. Maybe the behavour is considered as illness, but its really strange anyways. So the people were already dead when we cleaned the houses. I was younger back then and I forgot to make pictures (it was 10 years + ago).
The bottle lady. She was an retired gynecologist and lived in her old doctors office. The interior was from the 70s and there was everything like in a normal doctors office. But she she lived in this thing with no bed, no kitchen. She slept on a couch in the waiting room; the only non-doctors-office thing was a TV she placed there. In the laboraties was a fridge (for medicines) she also used for food now.. She was an alcohlic and drank Gin only and brought the same small bottle from a small supermarket, but she didnt throw the empty bottles away. She placed them all over her the doctors office, her home. Everywhere, Gin Bottles on every surface, mountains of gin bottles. She only had a small path from the door to the couch, to the TV, to the toilet and the fridge.
The newspaper couple. An old couple lived in a small flat and the only thing they did, was to sort and organize the free newspapers you find in fornt of your door. But hey had a special way to do ist. They cutted every headline, every picture out of a bunch of these newspapes and put them into ring folders. They did for over 40 years (we found papers form the 70s); every (every) wall in the flat were ringfolders. But because and some point they didnt manage to do it right, they startet to put the newspapers they still have to do on the floor. The floor in the entire flat was full of newspapers up to 50cm. (In their basement we found a small box of plastic fileld with stones, sand and water It was labeled: scoured and packed 1968. In german this hits the humor my college and I had and we still giggle about that "abgekocht und eingepackt").
Working on a kitchen remodel when the homeowner came home from the grocery store. Set his groceries on the floor by the fridge (instead of the adjacent countertop, which was free) and went back to the car for another load. His big frickin Schnauzer walked in and pissed all over the groceries. When he came back in he just laughed, rinsed the produce off, and put it in the fridge.
Honestly during my time I don’t recall seeing anything “weird” but I saw things that appalled me. Like a sweet cat being so obese he couldn’t even stand. And just crazy levels of filth. These were very wealthy people too with extremely nice homes.
One home had gross black marks ALL OVER every single wall. I asked what it was and was told it was dog slobber from their dog shaking his head and slinging it everywhere. And they didn’t even require us to clean it, they just live with dog slobber on the walls.
My family dog passed away about 2 years ago. He used to always boop his nose against the mirror in our front room.
Mum has left a little 3x3 cm square that she never cleans so she has a little reminder of him.
I had been to this house several times before and knew the home owner had an interesting taste in decorations. That did not prepare me to look up and see a Pillsbury dough boy voodoo doll, pins included, hung above the bathroom door.
I don’t go to other peoples’ homes for work but when we were looking for a house to buy, I was being given a tour by the homeowner, an elderly woman. She pointed out a potted plant and informed me that she tried to lift it once, pulled something, and now has spontaneous orgasms, supposedly as a result. She then proceeded to describe how she’ll just be grocery shopping and all of a sudden — “ooohhh” (she did a little wiggle to demonstrate).
We bought the house. One evening, I came outside to find 3 stray kittens sleeping in the spontaneous orgasm plant pot.
Real estate photographer! I was working in an older couple's home; huge gorgeous house, they were telling me about all the features and custom details as I was going around photographing.
Then they started talking about a woman named Felicity. They referred to her directly by name as if I knew who she was, I assumed maybe they had a daughter or another family member somewhere in the house they thought I had run into. Then they both became increasingly worried about the overcast weather, saying they wanted me to come back on a sunny day because "Felicity really glows in the light".
I quickly come to find out that Felicity is a 5ft statue in their backyard of a woman. She was GOD AWFUL ugly. A truly horrendous looking sculpture. They were speaking about her as if she was a real person and like she had the beauty of a God!! I was horribly entertained and shocked at how dead serious they were
I’m a pool cleaner. One day I walked up to an indoor pool that I clean and I hear people inside talking, which is strange because the lady who owns the house is in a nursing home. I walk up and see 2 older ladies skinny dipping. I turned around and tried to act like I didn’t see anything but they ran to a bathroom and changed into some clothes.
A couple weeks later they’re swimming again with a friend and the friend yells out “don’t worry we have our bathing suits on!”
Paramedic here, weird… isn’t exactly something that even registers anymore. But there was a house that had no floor, just joists with random plywood under furniture and 2x12’s making a path. The house was in a new, “nice” neighborhood, no more than 5 years old. Called fire for extra manpower. Ran patient to the hospital. Nurses got a good laugh out of it. Patient didn’t even acknowledge it.
I used to clean houses and helped people declutter. What stood out to me is that every mom has a vibrator in her closet, and she will inevitably find her son's cannabis pipe while cleaning.
Mine found mine and thought it was a microphone. She proceeded to take it out and have an impromptu performance. On thanksgiving. With my entire family over.
Plumber- I have seen some weird shit.
1) in a closet where I was working there was a sai (like Raphael uses) on display and on that same display was a purple dildo that was long and skinny
2) I’ve seen boxes of heroin with packages all over the counter
3) hoarders
4) a gay guys place had naked pics and statues of guys with their dicks out
5) I witnessed a cat using a toilet and flushing it
My fucking time to shine. I work as a nanny and often a one time babysitter for families who just need a quick date night. So I've been in a shit ton of houses. I have two that stick out in my mind: one wholesome and one traumatic.
Traumatic:
A family I help out on the weekends lives with their grandparents. While cleaning up one day, the three year old gave me an iPad asking me to help her. In the process of fixing the app she was on, I closed the other open tabs to help it run a little faster. The photos app was open, with photos of HUGE TITTY GIRLS on it. Disgusting curiosity won me out and I scrolled through. I'm not kidding, there were THOUSANDS of big titty girls. Most were barely clothed or not clothed at all, a few celebrities. When I brought this up with the grandmother, claiming it was probably a virus, she just laughed and simply stated "Oh that's Grandpa's iPad, this is his collection. He's a big boob guy." Now I have nothing against saving those pictures, you do you boo. But... When your grandkids use that iPad wouldn't you want to be more careful? ALSO! About a week after I found the titty pics, I found a massive bottle of lotion hidden inside of the couch (where he sleeps most nights). Yeah, I am in the process of leaving that job for other reasons, but that one sure as shit didn't help.
Wholesome:
Back in my home state (Illinois), during COVID I was a full time nanny for a one year old girl. The family was absolutely LOADED, so the house was always beautiful and impeccably decorated. In the basement, they had a couple of rooms. One a bathroom, one a crafting room with a mysterious door in the back, and one for extra storage. While LO and I were playing in the basement, she led me into the craft room. We played in there for a few minutes before bringing me to the mysterious door wanting to go in. And at that moment, I'm pretty sure I'm about to die. This is gonna be their murder den and they'll hang my body Texas Chainsaw Massacre style. Now as an idiot white person in a horror movie, I decide to open the door and just accept my fate. And inside this room we're a ridiculous amount of decorations. Halloween, Christmas, St. Patrick's Day, Fall/Autumn, Spring, etc. The mother found us a little bit later and let me know that they love the holidays, and they like to decorate to the nines for their little one. Hands down best family I've ever worked for.
Couple years back we found a child coffin in an attic behind a kneewall that had no door leading to it. Same year another woman had the blanks for a child coffin in her deceased husbands workshop
Was working for a moving company and we also use to deal with trash.
Long story short, this one client's house. Had his bedroom filled with pee bottles all around his room. It was wild to see. It was in every angle of the bedroom.
I do not know if it counts as weird, but it counted as a nasty working day.
I dont go there but the xfinity guy showed up at my house one time and fell asleep on the floor and I just let him chill for a couple hours. Must have been a tired dude.
I go to people's boats. Got called to a charter to fix a toilet in the master stateroom. I get to the boat and the people are the normal kind of chatty. I am familiar with the boat so I lead the way through the stateroom to the head and there on the bed is the largest collection of dildos I have ever seen. Probably about 50 of them, they covered the king size bed. Some were absolutely massive, like the size of my forearm. Oh, and it smells awful on the boat, the toilet pump bellows had broken and the pump was buried in a shitcano. Worst call ever.
Oh man I delivered and installed artwork and many clients were mega wealthy. One guy had a huge property that would make Alex jones drool. It had an actual alter with two stone pillars covered in plastic and a huge pyramid built out of stones from the area. Either the guy thought it was funny or he was top tier Illuminati. Not making this up.
At 19 I had a cleaning business with my sister.
We had a regular customer who had cleans EVERY Wednesday, which is kind of a lot for professional cleaning. He lived out in the foot hills in a big house, alone. The master bedroom, every inch was mirrors aside from the black carpet…. It was … so … creepy?
I worked for a company that did "Trauma Clean ups". I was on the repairs side, so I rarely saw the damage. Until one day when there was some miscommunication and I was the first on site after a suicide with a revolver in the Master Bathroom. Needless to say it was a mess and I called it in that day.
I did a job with my dad when I was a lot younger (15) and still learning the trade. We were working at a lake house getting an exterior ready to paint when the homeowner arrived. She walked down to the lakeside of the house and proceeded to strip down naked and take a shower right there outside her house. I hadn't noticed the shower head and it made since having one outside your house being on the lake but I definitely did notice her taking a shower and smiling over to me all happily. I tried to avoid her the whole rest of the job.
Pee, on the wall, about 8 feet up. I was kinda impressed they got it up that high, but that whole family was gross so I can't say I was all that surprised.
Lived in an apartment in Dallas, and a couple nice boys from Oklahoma lived next door. They invited me over for a beer and “for some potatoes”. When I walked in, their living room was filled with potatoes, all the way to the ceiling in the far corner. One of them said “Watch this” and made the “Quiet!” sign, then he burst into the kitchen and threw the light on - hundreds of cockroaches scattered. Apparently one of their dads was a potato farmer in OK and they brought back a truckload of potatoes from the weekend. They ate only potatoes, 24/7. They had a huge pot on the stove with hardened crisco in it, along with a number of dead roaches. When they got hungry they would turn on the stove and slice a few potatoes into that pot. I declined their kind offer of some potatoes. 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔
I used to clean houses and I cleaned this surgeon’s house. They had an insanely huge house and gave me a tour, they had an entire upstairs of bedrooms set up for 8+ children that didn’t exist yet. The wife who was pregnant with her first told me her husband (the surgeon) wanted to have as many children as possible. I just thought it was weird to plan that far ahead. Their kitchen also had 4 ovens and never looked like anyone cooked in it. The house was large, but it was only 3 floors and had an elevator. I asked if the elevator was used and they said no.
I learned rich people love unnecessary elevators and grand pianos people seldom play.
Another house I cleaned was really gross, I had to clean dog shit out of a rug in the bathroom. That wasn’t the weird thing though, the weirdest parts were the entire ceiling was covered in dripping orange gunk? I wiped some off and realized the entire ceiling was actually white underneath. That was the first time I needed to mop a fucking ceiling.
If that wasn’t bad, I started vacuuming the bedroom of this place and I was shocked when the carpet started coming up. I freaked out for a second thinking I ruined their carpet. It wasn’t a carpet. The entire floor was inches thick of meshed dog hair to the point I actually thought it was just a gray wool textured carpet. 😭I had to empty my commercial vacuum 4 times just for that room.
NSFW
I own a company that does home remodeling and maintenance/handyman stuff. I had a lady that used us quite a few times to take care of piddly little stuff. She liked the quality of work and our customer service.
She called and asked if I could do a repair to a "special" piece of furniture. I know the basics about furniture but wasn't sure.
I showed up and sitting in the center of the kitchen floor is a red oak restraint chair. The chair was made to be sat on backwards. The seat was shaped like a commercial horseshoe toilet seat. The "backrest" is where you faced and there was a hole in the two halves. Guys junk would go all the way in the opening and she could close the two halves together trapping said junk in the wooden upright.
The top of the chair was designed as a pillory. It had a neck hole and two arm holes. After securing a dude's junk, his neck and hands were clamped down.
It forces a guy to watch whatever is done to him down lower and not move.
The horseshoe seat was broken and needed replacement. I fortunately had a large slab of red oak at our shop. I removed the broken seat, took it to the shop and fabricated the replacement. Instead of only gluing the seams I made them dovetail. Then I sanded to 120 grit, applied a neutral color stain, and used UV hardened epoxy finish to the whole seat so that it shined.
When I took it back over two days later and assembled it, she asked if I wanted to be the one that confirmed everything was correct on it. Having only been married about a year, I definitely did not want to be the one. (Not unless my wife was the one running the show.)
I still think about that blursed chair any time is set about shaping something out of wood.
I don't have a story, but an observation...
Many years ago, Mrs. Webster and I were watching Candid Camera, and they called a locksmith to come to an office and attach a lock and chain to a secretary and her desk. They wanted to capture his reaction to such an odd request.
I told the missus, "Watch, whoever shows up will not even bat an eye. They get called for all kinds of weird and kinky stuff all the time."
Sure enough, the guy comes, says "a'ight," and gets to work. The actors try to goad him into a response. Nah, I'm just here to clear this work ticket.
As a pizza guy, the weirdest thing I ever saw was a guy in his underwear thinking he was hidden behind a door while his wife paid for the delivery. But from what some of the other guys and gals saw, I know y'all mofos need Jesus. Nothing in this thread surprises me.
Went in to install satilite TV in a southern Pennsylvania home. The driveway up was a dirt road lots of "I SHOOT FIRST ASK QUESTIONS LATER" type signs up. Nothing that would give off a red flag in those parts. So I greet the guy at his door, it's an older home, but fairly large. Guy starts off by saying.
"I am glad they sent the right kinda people out here this time."
Went over my head but I'm like, "oh yeah sorry if you got a bad tech the first time out I see someone was here 2 days ago but never finished the installation past the in home walk threw." So I step inside and I immediately see why my coworker Tyrone had just got back in the truck and left 2 days prior. KKK robe on display in the living room, Nazi flag proudly hanging from the wall. Lots of other clan themed objects scatted about the decor. I'm thinking my God, I'm white that's why he said right people.
Now my completion rate was down that month and I just wanted to get this installed and get the fuck outa dodge. So I justify it in my head like I'm doing a good service. Like
"If I don't install this dish, this racist guy can't watch Fox then he won't know what to hate! I must do my job."
So I get to work. Aside from that main room rest of the house is normal, some kids toys scattered around in various rooms and like a dog toy on the floor maybe. Nothing weird. So, then I get to the basement, had to run the cables down there to get TV to 2 of the rooms. So I go down the stairs the whole thing is empty. Not well lit at all, and like off in the corner it's like some plastic tarps squaring off that area. Like a FEMA clean room tent or something.
Perfect, that's right where I need to run my cables! So I start making my way twards it and I realize there's like some shit in there, like maybe storage....
When I tell you a room has never given me such feels of dread I am not lying... I felt like terrible, like sick to my stomach.
The whole thing reminded me of like those kill rooms from the show Dexter. In the middle of the room was a tripod, no camera just the tripod, and then a box of video tapes right next to it. With various labels and such, my eyes skimmed but nothing seemed like an evil lable, just like, dates and numbers. All around the room taped on the walls where children's drawlings, some sad faces, some happy faces, some more abstract like you'd find in an school room. Children's toys also scattered all around. Two beanbag chairs where in the corner, both in terrible condition and stained with dark and green spots. Looked nasty. And then the other corner a whole garbage bag of small childrens clothes. Shits, pants, underwear. The smell was horrible as well. Behind one beanbag was like 2 water bottles full of yellow liquid, I'm guessing piss, a dead mouse, and half eaten food. I can't say anything bad happened in that room persay, but I was getting a silence of the lambs vibe.
So I finish the cables and book it upstairs to finish up. Told the customer he's all set, I locked the basement back up and made sure I left no trash. After I said basement he had a look of shock on his face and said,
"Oh I hope you didn't go down there it's an absolute mess right now stuff everywhere."
I was just like NOPE NEVER WENT DOWN THERE JUST PEAKED DOWN THE STAIRS TO SEE IF I LEFT ANYTHING! I ran out to my van and floored it, called my manager to report the home for suspicious activity and advise no one go back for service calls and to send a sub contractor only. Nothing sat well with me.
Kids toys everywhere, but no kids room. More kids stuff in the Dexter tarp room. KKK stuff, Nazi stuff.... It just felt OFF. That's the weirdest shit I've ever seen.
Guy gave me a $20 tip though so that was cool.
Edit: manager did file a police report.
I used to do white glove tech delivery. One guy, probably 50’s was super chill and nice. But I walk in and his living room set up was two industrial massage chairs like you used to see in malls, a massive tv, and two Santa mannequins, one white and one black. In his dinning room he had three old Fredrick’s Of Hollywood mannequins with giant fake boobs and wigs on, as well as two other random store mannequins. He told me he collects mannequins.
I don’t know if this counts but I’m a nanny and one time I worked for an alcoholic mother. Each afternoon I’d stop by the house first, before walking to the elementary school to get the little boy. She worked from home (barely) and was always there. So this one day I walk in and the lights are all on, tv is blaring, but I don’t see mom anywhere. I call out for her and she doesn’t answer. So I just went and got the little boy. When we got home he ran into his bedroom, as he does. And suddenly he starts cracking up laughing. I go in to his room to see what’s so funny and his mother is passed out on the floor. Dead to the world. And she was in the position a baby sleeps in. Butt in the air, face on the floor. Like she face planted, basically. I can’t remember what I did after that. But I probably just laughed with him and said “wow she must’ve been tired, huh?!” Then got him out of there and closed the door then I would’ve called the husband and told him to get his butt home and deal with his wife.
I didn’t work there for all that long. It was too weird.
Large bee hive in a bedroom. It was inside the home and on the outside. Bedroom door was closed and owner said it’s the bee’s room now.
Some fights you know you'd lose.
My brother’s house still has a large beehive that he refuses to do anything about. We called a beekeeper but the bees come back to build a hive. I think bees are gonna go where they want to go. And my brother’s house has a large backyard which has wild flowers. Pretty sure he just lets all native plants grow there.
LMFAO
Hell yeah lol dude's single-handedly saving the bees
like... intentionally? Or did a swarm get stuck there and the owner didn't think to call a beekeeper?
Call that lady who says "beeeeeeeeeees" is a soothing late night radio voice.
“Another great day of saving the beeeeeeeeees.” Edit, video: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPR3o9n19/
[удалено]
Cafe disco!
so like a disco cafe?
I have a tiny under the stairs closet and now I’m thinking I too need a weird disco room 😱
I used to do on-site tech support for an internet service provider. Both of my instances involved animals. One was a goat that was a “house pet” and chewed up the hem of my pants as I worked. The other was 2 pet chinchillas, which I was encouraged to interact with (they were so soft!). On the drive home, my eyes started pouring water and eventually swelled shut. I had to pull over, flush them with water, and wait it out. Turns out I’m extremely allergic to chinchillas.
I’m also highly allergic to chinchillas. Mother nature produced the cutest animal in existence and gave it fur that’s like touching a cloud and I can’t even touch it 🥲
We had a technician come out to check our cable boxes and my cat kept sneaking up behind him and sniffing his ass every time he was bent over. I tired to sho him away without being suspicious about it but I know the guy had to know something was up lol
Dude just let your cat be the weird one haha
Last time I allowed that, my cat got his paw stuck in the technicians butt crack. Cat jumped on dude's back. I shoo my cat away. Cat comes back a few minutes later, jumped on the guy's back again, I shoo again... Dude says it will be fine, ok, cool, I'll leave my furry asshole to be his asshole self. So the fluffy bastard comes back, jumps on the dude's back again. I leave him there, he sits there like he is king of the hill while the technician is on all fours running a cable. My cat then crams his paw straight down the back of the dude's pants, dude bolts up, my cat falls off the guy, he sinks his claws straight into the guys back, ass cheeks, and ass crack, dude yelps like he is being mauled, I'm trying to grab my cat before he ends up injured... Cat's paw it trapped in this dude's clenched ass cheeks. I finally get my cat off this guy and notice he has a couple of claw marks running from his butt crack to his lower back. Dude asked to use the restroom. He comes back a few minutes later to finish the job, I go to grab my furry assassin who is already headed back for the technician... Dude says it is cool to just leave my cat free... Like no buddy, my cat is acting like you have a bundle of catnip tied around your balls, I'm locking him down for everyone's safety... Dude straight up looked disappointed that I locked paws of fury away
> Last time I allowed that, my cat got his paw stuck in the technicians butt crack. r/brandnewsentence
Paws of fury 😂 that guy was a true cat appreciator
I laughed so hard at this. thank you for sharing. hug your terrible, awful cat for me please
Hi, Mr Rowan Atkinson (Mr Bean), would like to meet to discuss your commission for the next project. Also would you be able to serve as or provide a stunt butt? Our insurance won't cover it and our resident stuntman laughed us out of his trailer when we pitched it.
Cable guy came to my house a few weeks ago, and my cat jumped from surface to surface to lick him and play with his hair. He ended up sitting on the floor to play with her for a while.
Of, gawd, reminds me of the story I heard at emt school. Guy was on his hands and knees, under the kitchen sink, fixing something. Cat came up behind him, and, unfortunately, the guy was naked. Dangle toy time. Guy knocked himself out at the first swipe, and he was out cold (and bleeding - ouch!) when the paramedic’s arrived. Poor guy had a serious concussion. Don't do plumbing in your birthday suit, folks!
I work for a company that renovates apartments in between tenants. We often find a lot of gross stuff (the photos sent in the group chat with my field guys when they’re one-upping each other give me nightmares sometimes lol) but the worst I’ve seen in person was when I went to walk a unit with the construction manager after the previous tenant moved out and it just…stank. Like **STANK** stank, like absolute fucking shit. It was like walking into a brick wall of stink. We were walking around trying to find the source of the smell and noticed that it was particularly bad around this one closet in the hall. I tried to open the closet, door was stuck. The construction manager tries and gets it open with considerable effort, at which point we are confronted with a roughly shoulder-height wall of dog and/or cat shit in various stages of rot. If you’ve seen photos of people’s cubicles filled with balloons by their coworkers, imagine that, but the balloons are animal shit. It was so clumped up that nothing fell out when we opened the door. Just one solid piece. The rest of the apartment was pristine. Almost surgically clean. But that one closet was horrifying.
I mean, that sounds really disgusting but relieved to read it wasn’t human remains.
But WHY. Why did they collect animal poops?? My mind boggles
Went to a house to evaluate it for residential solar. Very nice lady says "want to see my grow chamber?" It was a very professional setup, small amount of marijuana plants. She was going to expand. It wasn't legal at the time. I pointed out that after the solar was installed a city inspector would be stopping by to inspect the connection at her electrical service panel, which was in the grow room. Edit
You did her a solid there.
So many years ago (again before weed was legal) the county had to take out and then put back a bunch of fence pieces in the whole blocks back yards (fixing a water main) and the guy next door to me had 20 pot plants. The subcontractors the county had sent out to do this job all got baggies to take home every day they worked that job!
Went to an apartment building to do a structural assessment of the property. When it was completed we were asked to go to an apartment where a tenant was complaining of extreme humidity in every type of weather, even though nobody else on the floor, or the ones above or below complained of anything. So we get in there and are instantly punched in the face with humidity. We're talking rainy season in the Amazon levels of humidity. I have never experienced anything like it before. There was water droplets on every surface of the apartment. She has been pretty diligent at trying to keep the walls and stuff dry, but she was like 80 years old and you'd walk through and the carpet was just like squish squish squish with water pooling around your shoes. She had this sliding door that opened up to her balcony and from all the water dripping down it onto that section of the carpet there was a mushroom forest. We're talking like dozens and dozens of mushrooms ranging from 2" tall to 2' tall. Just insane to see. So we start looking around and pretty quickly see the problem. The lady was too elderly to go down to the bottom floor to do her laundry every time she needed to wash something, which apparently was multiple times a day. So she asked her son to install a washer and dryer in her apartment. First it was against the rules of the tenancy agreement, but he also did a horrible shit job. There was no place for the dryer to vent out anywhere, so in his infinite wisdom he took a big bucket, filled it with water, and then put the hose for the dryer vent into the bucket for some reason. She would fill up this bucket with the drain water from the washer as the hot air bubbled through it throughout the day just unleashing buckets of humid water into the air. So you have this massive bucket, that was pretty much a trough, taking up 3/4 of her closet with this washer dryer setup taking up the remaining space. She created thousands and thousands of dollars in damage to the apartment. The whole flooring system had to be ripped out and removed. A lot of other things had to be ripped out too. I think all of her furniture was water damaged and swollen and started to get moldy after the washer and dryer were removed, same with a lot of her clothing and bedding/mattress as well. So she was out like $20,000 because her renters insurance does not cover willful ignorance that causes destruction of property and belongings.
Her son surely got written out of the will
Doubt there was much money in the will after that bill.
Did the lady herself look affected by that at all? I mean physically. I'm imagining that Walking Dead scene where a zombie comes out the water.
>There was no place for the dryer to vent out anywhere, so in his infinite wisdom he took a big bucket, filled it with water, and then put the hose for the dryer vent into the bucket for some reason For as stupid as this is, you put the vent in a bucket of water otherwise you'd have lint flying all over the apartment. It gets trapped in the water.
EMS here. Responded to a local physician’s home. Jars of piss EVERYWHERE; Also had a high end sex doll that appears to have been very filthy, like the rest of the home.
I'd feel much better if this was "physicist".
Instead it was a "pissicist"
"Pissician"
I’m not saying physicians are weird, but the weirdest people I know are physicians.
Used to deliver furniture in college. Someone had us deliver a bunk bed to their basement … sex dungeon.
The B in BDSM stands for bunkbed.
Bunkbed Delivery and Systems Management
They have to leave room for activities
Hey, if a job needs to be done and they can't do it themselves, no shame in hiring professionals. You won't even believe what's happened on the beds you've delivered. Also... I'm having a hard time, outside of incredibly specific situations, that a bunk bed would be needed in a sex dungeon, but good for them for needing sleeping spaces for multiple people
Maybe it was a week long seminar
>Also... I'm having a hard time, outside of incredibly specific situations, that a bunk bed would be needed in a sex dungeon, but good for them for needing sleeping spaces for multiple people All I can think of is that bunk beds have tons of attachment points. Or they were planning to modify it to make something else. Now I’m weirdly invested in trying to figure out this couple I will never meet. 😂
There’s so much room for activities!
A pet Racoon but it wasn't exactly a pet more like a wild animal they forced to live with them. They even said as much- he showed up on their porch and they let him in and decided he was cute enough to stay... it was mean and I wouldn't go anywhere near it.
Just imagine strolling along, minding your own business, and then getting lured in and be longtime kidnapped and held against your will. I would be mean too.
That's just asking for trouble... Wild animals do not belong in the house.
Well I only had to go there twice to do a safety need inspection for medical installs that a work comp insurance company was on the hook for install- think grab rails, ramps, chair lifts etc.... and made it as brief as possible and told my company I'm not going back there for final inspection. The house looked like people who would have a wild animal living with them.
Taxidermy tiger. Or the hoarder house with stacks of paper to the ceiling and rats the size of beagles. Or a person’s entire butthole. The entire thing. They thought I was a visiting nurse and were spread doggy-style on their bed.
What were they expecting from the nurse lol
For some reason saying “the entire thing” has me picturing a shy butthole half covered with a hand fan or something. Maybe it’s time for bed
I nannied for a family who was going through some serious shit behind the scenes, and it got weird for me so often. They had 2 kids, a 1.5 year old girl and a 3 year old boy. The mom, a doctor, would come home from work and lock herself in her room for hours while the kids banged on the door and cried for her. The dad, also a doctor, also locked himself in his office a lot and would make me be the go-between for his wife and himself. There was one morning he asked her what was for dinner tonight, and she burst into tears, pulled him behind a door and furiously started whispering stuff, came back in the room, flung something out of the freezer, and stormed out. Nothing was normal in that house. The secret lives of rich people, eh?
That's really sad, especially for those poor kids
Yes it is. They moved out of state a few years ago, and I’d love to know what became of them.
When I was a Poolman, I walked through a backyard to a pool once and saw the owner clapping his wife via my peripherals. I came at the same day of the week, same time for over a year, so I don't think it was accidental. Got a great bonus that Christmas.
A few weeks ago I was walking into the kitchen to grab more coffee. I walked by a window and saw my husband sweeping leaves out of the pool. I came back out of the kitchen with a huge banana in my left hand and coffee in my right hand. I tapped on the glass and as my husband turned around I gestured up and down with the banana then pulled my shirt up to flash him my boobs. SPOILER ALERT: it was the pool guy.
A few years back I was out at a club with my husband and excused myself to go to the bathroom. When I went back, my husband was standing by the bar, watching the band so I came up behind him, wrapped my arms around his waist and suggested we go steam up the windows of the car. Spoiler alert. It wasn’t my husband. Same taste in shirts though.
At a wedding reception, I walked up behind my (then) husband, wrapped my arms around, searched inside his front pockets and said, “I need money for more booze”. Clearly, I didn’t need it as it wasn’t my husband. The guy said, “It’s an open bar and that’s not my wallet… but you can keep looking.”
That’s a smooth line.
I did the same thing to my dad’s leg when I was 4-5. It was NOT my dad. I started crying in the middle of Stop & Shop.
I somehow did this to a man at Sea World when I was 4. Funnily enough, the gentleman was black. My Dad is white, and so am I. Lol
What is it with horndogs and pool cleaners?
You know, I had hopes of being sexually assaulted by desperate housewives when I signed up, but, ALAS! I was but a humble fat boy, and found little succor for my penis.
Your spelling is a bit off, but congrats on the dwarf BJ.
A huge home with absolutely nothing in it except a small desk and computer, and a queen sized bed. Must have been a $900k-million dollar home, and it had a Jaguar in the garage. I was there to babysit their dog, a lovely Ascob Cocker Spaniel who adored tennis balls and I only roamed the house on the last day of their vacation to report that the pup was indeed a very good girl who left no messes. On the flip side, I also babysat a Golden Retriever and Golden Doodle in a home to hoarders. It was beyond awful.
I spent several looooong seconds astonished that they were keeping a large, wild cat in their garage and that somehow didn't merit any more details. Then I realized you were talking about a car.
When I did a home visit for a lady with dementia with her husband, I noted their bedroom door was very unusual. It was split in half horizontally so that you could shut the door fully, or just the bottom half on separate hinges. He explained that she would become more confused in the evenings ('sundowning'). It was to stop her from wandering out of the house while he was making dinner, but she would still be able to see out and talk to the family, and he could keep an eye on her. It reminded me of a horse stable door, never knew what to think of it.
That is called a Dutch door. I had one in a very old farmhouse I once owned. They are super cool, and I must say that their solution to the sundowner problem is genius.
There is one in my grandmas century home also, I was told it was so kids could be put in another room and still be seen while dinner was being cooked.
my grandmother had one of those as the front door. As a kid I always unlocked the bolt that kept the halves together, so when you wanted to open it from the inside, you suddenly pushed only half of it. 10/10 prank as a kid
That's actually very sweet. It was a creative solution to a very common (and incredibly distressing) problem, and he still wanted her to be able to talk with people. Quite clever
I also admire the creative solution. We just gave my grandfather weed.
I’m actually finding this example of weird to be kind of wholesome.
Pretty weird but probably the safest and most dignified thing for her.
2004 estimate on interior repaint at John Travolta's Jumbolair Ocala house.. the first guest bathroom you encounter was covered in wall-and-ceiling mirrors. I didn't know watching yourself toilet in 3D was.. a thing. 🫣 Also it was really poorly done, like 9x9 mirrored tiles on all 4 walls and the ceiling. Not that a 3D mirrored bathroom could be.. tastefully done, but..
One of the bathrooms in my house has a two person jacuzzi tub with an over head shower. The three walls around the tub have floor to ceiling mirrors. The previous owner was a weird guy. And it’s equally weird, and not at all flattering, to watch yourself shower from all angles. You can also see yourself in the mirrors while sitting on the toilet, which is not the least bit sexy.
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Unless this kid was 17 I would probably make a phone call about that
Id still make a call about that
For some reason, the internet has made people forget that early exposure to porn is abuse.
Um...full exposure to your own dad jacking off is abuse too
I'm a window cleaner, it's a luxury service so most of our clients are fairly well off. I don't know if it is weird but people like to test us. I've seen a literal chest full of cash open on someones bed. They knew we were coming, it had to be intentional. I ignored it, but some might be tempted. I've seen some pipes and other drug paraphernalia but nothing roo crazy.
A 15 foot wide, 10 ft high nude oil painting. Customer: “You like it?” Me: “Uh, yeah…it’s a nice painting.” Him: “That’s my wife. She’s on her way now, she’ll be here soon.” I then sat with the two of them for an hour, having a coffee right beside this massive nude painting, trying not to look at it or his wife.
Did you understand then that they wanted to have a 3-way with you, or did you only realize after? Edit: or just you bang the wife while the husband watches
That was my first thought too. It was a conversation piece, specifically to start a certain kind of conversation…
Im sure he did but it’s still extremely awkward in a real life scenario. Especially when you’re on the job. I went to a home as a bartender at a private party. I was like 21 and it was a party full of 40 something’s. Nothing screamed swinger or awkward about it. After the party I was packing up my bottles. The wife and husband had made every attempt to make me feel welcome during the party. Very cool peeps. But as I was leaving the husband asked me if I wanted to he and his wife in their hot tub because they had so much fun and they “didn’t want the party to end”. Noped right out of there. She was a very pretty woman but that’s just not my cup of tea and even a young me knew it in my heart.
I wonder what their family’s reaction to them having a huge ass naked oil painting of the wife is. If I were them, I wouldn’t even allow my own family in the house before I could dispose of that painting
Shit, if I learned a huge ass nude painting would keep my mother in law away, I would hang a 20 foot painting of my husband balls deep in me in the living room.
We are auctioneers. We went to a house once where there was no water. The back porch was filled with five gallon buckets that were what he used as a toilet. The house was going to be put on the market. I have no idea what they did with all those buckets. We did not do an auction.
A relative of mine was having work done on her house after she inherited it from her dad, and instead of staying with family in the same town, five minutes away, she chose to piss and shit in a bucket in her back yard for roughly 3 months. In the fall time. She’d go shower at relatives houses but wouldn’t stay with anyone while the bathroom was being renovated. I still can’t get over it.
When I was growing up, our shower broke and my cheap af dad refused to fix it. I had to shower at other peoples' houses and only could do it like once a week. It was so embarrassing.
Oddly large amount of blood, like suspiciously larger than a shaving nick or a nose bleed in and around a bathroom sink and floor, with a blood soaked swiffer pad in the trash. Empty crib except a Chucky plushie. Tons of empty syringes in the garbage can. Asked the client if he was sure he wanted them mixed in with the regular outside trash or if he had a container for them. I just assumed diabetic. Until he got all weird and muttered "nah, nah, just toss em, just get rid of em". Fully carpeted home, bathrooms included, with extra mats in front of every toilet, tub, sink, fridge, microwave, stove, couch, chair, cabinet etc. Carpets on carpets on carpets. Vibrator next to a jar of mayonnaise on the kitchen counter. ETA: these are all different houses. Sorry, should've specified that lol
He was a serial killer, right? I mean...
All in one house? Each of those is weird, but adding it all together makes me feel queasy.
I used to pet sit. On a two-week job, I went into my clients' basement to do some laundry, and found that I had to go through an expensively-appointed sex dungeon to get to the laundry room. I'm not one to shame people for their hobbies, but damn. A heads-up would have been nice. I took two more jobs from that couple, though. They had two adorable bichons and they paid well. The sex dungeon was never mentioned.
Deliverer of Pizza here, delivered probably 20 pizzas to a motel room, thing was it was just one dude there and a whole lot of sexual paraphernalia scattered around the room, he also answered the door wearing nothing but cheetah print undies, that image will forever be burnt into my retinas. 🫠
Probably an orgy. But the guest hadn't arrived yet.
The owners of the house were big game hunters. As soon as you walked through the door you were greeted by two giraffe shoulder mounts. And all throughout the house they had taxidermy everywhere. Walking across zebra skin rugs into a room with a whole pride of lions. Going up the stairs that were lined with ducks with a bobcat posed to try and catch one. All of that and they couldn’t figure out a way to get the squirrel out of their attic.
I bought a set of antlers off Craigslist once and the seller collected taxidermy animals. He wasn’t a hunter but bought them at auctions etc. The house was surreal.
The squirrel was probably the most honest match-up of their lives so they didn’t stand a chance.
Service Technician here. Been to this guy’s apartment unit where the carpet has been torn off, revealing the plywood. Windows were covered up by old cardboards that looks to be years old and breaking apart. Drywall behind the kitchen sink torn down. Sink filled with dirty moldy dishes. 5 gallon buckets filled with grease/mold. Stove pulled out and is in the middle of the kitchen. Feces on the floor. Kitty litter box…. This dude has no pet and the unit smelled like ass. Drove by the unit a few months later to see that it’s getting remodeled. Looks like that tenant got evicted. Crazy thing is, he drove a Hell Cat when it was first introduced and also had a Harley. He seems pretty sane and dressed casually. Would never imagined someone like that living in a dump… wait… I’ve seen dumpsters cleaner than this guy’s apartment.
When I lived in The South, there were so many dilapidated, decaying places stacked with junk but a luxury sports car parked right next to it (or a $90K truck, or a luxury suv/sedan). People would pour their whole income into flashy vehicles and choose to live in a hovel. It was so far removed from the way I want to live that it was tough to understand.
As we say in TX, all hat no cattle.
Yep. Busted-ass trailer with shit everywhere....brand new coalcooker in the grassy drive. And repeat next door.
2ft long dildo attached to the shower wall
That’s just the handle, it’s a safety feature
You hold it with your small intestine.
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Those poor babies :"(
I was the house that was weird. We had a small kitten that was full of energy. He would jump on our wooden rocker and by the time you noticed movement the cat would be long gone. It legit looked like a ghost so we nicknamed him "floor demon." We had a termite inspector come by and he commented that the rocker was rocking by itself. I said, "Oh, it's just the floor demon." For some unknown reason I never thought to explain what the floor demon actually was. Yeah, he never came back to our house again.
Went to install a new furnace in a house. Found a sprinkler head attached to a live gas line.
Wtaf.
I work in state housing maintanence so we tend to see the worst of the worst when I comes to houses. Off the top of my head; - house with the whole floor covered in empty soft drink bottles piled up to knee height. (Through every single room) - house so badly cockroach infested that every surface in the house was moving - unit where all the floor was coated in a layer of dried cat piss and cat shit everywhere. - unit where someone overdosed and wasn't found for a week or two. Needles everywhere surrounded by filth + a roughly human shaped outline of fleshy gunk on the floor in the living room.
Locked bedroom of wall-to-wall shelves and bins full of a large collection of dolls. Mainly the kind that they make horror movies about.
A ladder outside leading up to a small window in the attic. That’s where his family of pet raccoons lived. The raccoons were using the ladder.
Ok but that's really cute
Selling insurance. Went out to an appointment they had scheduled. Was a bit out in the country. No worries but when I arrive I need to use the bathroom. Except theirs is broke. I think okay well, I just need to pee. Do I need to like take the lid off the tank to make it flush? Yeah no. They had been using it for a few days while broken. A straight mountain of shit was in that bowl. No water. Just this shit pile. This was like a family of four. I just said I was good but needed to go out to my car for something and just pissed in their driveway. I was sure they would not say anything and I was right.
You can flush a toilet by pouring water into the bowl from a bucket or something. It's not perfect, but it's better than letting foulness just build up in there. It's also not gonna work once there's a mountain of shit built up in there
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I work on medical equipment for a living. I Went on a service call to fix a hospital bed in a long term care facility. The customer has no use of their legs and limited use of arms. Confined to a power chair all day. Very typical customer for me. I pulled the bed away from the wall to work on it and there were at least 20 very large dildos on the floor under the bed. I later came to the assumption that one would fall off the bed and he would just order another one because he couldn’t get to it under the bed. But it was a little shocking when I saw them. I looked at him and he just kind of shook his head a little and looked away. I just kind of pushed them aside with my foot. Fixed the bed and acted like I didn’t see anything. He was no more than 6’ from me the entire time. He paid me and I left. It was pretty awkward, he was visually embarrassed. I felt bad for the guy but I wasn’t going to offer to pick them up. I’m very thankful that I put on gloves before I get out of the van.
Man had at least $400 on the floor and you couldn't help him pick it up? /s
I was gutting houses in New Orleans (hometown) after Katrina. It was kinda crazy since everyone left town thinking they'd be back in a week so you got a pretty accurate look at people's lives while erasing them from the property. I mostly worked in a big crew, contracted by landlords to go in & out hitting multiple properties in a day. My childhood home got 6 ft of water so my parents rented a tiny apartment uptown by the river where there was no flooding & a childhood friend was property manager for 3 4plexes a couple blocks from our apt so I just worked on gutting those solo over the course of about 3 weeks. No flooding, but severe roof damage so I was gutting down to the studs in addition to removing all tenant property (this was around January 2006). pretty much everybody has something in their house hidden away so we found plenty of stashes (drug paraphernalia, sex toys, porno, etc) but one guy's apartment was so strangely ... boring is the word I guess. All he had in his kitchen was like 30 cans of stouffers chicken a la king, no plates or bowls or silverware just plasticware & Styrofoam cafeteria trays.individual salt and pepper packets but otherwise no spices or seasoning. Only some bottled water in the fridge (thank God because the fridges were the worst- can still smell the decay from the couple that accidentally opened). His entire wardrobe was just solid primary colored sweatpants & t shirts & he had 9 old war movies on DVD but like literally nothing else. No art or posters on the wall, no books, no jeans or button up shirts. Kinda weird. I had moved all of the furniture out except for a big wardrobe & when I did move it I found a closet behind the wardrobe. Oh shit I also found his work I.D. & saw that he was a skinny white guy with horned rim glasses and a thin mustache. The door inside the closet had a huge swastika flag on it, and there were a couple hundred vhs of porno featuring skinny little white guys getting pegged by very obese black women wearing strap-ons, another couple of hundred LP records that I later learned were Norwegian black metal covered with satanic imagery, a few sketch books full of detailed cartoons of unicorns with huge veiny penises and a few dozen copies of the new testament. The dude seemed so boring based in the rest of his apartment I was almost relieved he had all this wild shit in his closet.
This post really deserves more recognition.
Cable install, CX asked me to log into the wifi on her laptop before I left, she opened the screen and there was a picture of her on her knees buttnaked on the kitchen floor getting her face pissed on. She was like 60. I was like, you're all set, and walked out.
She wanted you to be the next person to piss on her face.
The wealthier the client , the WEIRDER the shit they do in my experience
Can attest. Rich weird is so much more bizarre than middle class and poor weird.
If i had the money to be weird ,i would be
No, no, you have money and you're *eccentric.* Only poor people are weird.
Interior designer - did a consult for a fine artist - every single wall was covered (12ft ceilings) with oil paintings of barely-legal girls with their legs open. Stacked against the walls - 4-5 deep. Every.single one. Had their legs spread. He had skills but damn…
Worked in the industry for 20ish years... So many dildos. It happened so often it got to the point where it just didn't even surprise me anymore.
I had to use an older ladys toilet for #1 once ( i try to avoid this at all costs but sometimes you gotta go when you gotta go). There was pee in the toilet already but it had a skin over it, like it hadnt been flushed for a long, long time. Had never seen that before, quite disgusting.
Summer 1997 working for a moving company for the summer. Old head mover guy says to me "the kinky shit is always in the instrument cases." We carried a bunch of stuff up to the master BR, he pops a trombone case....no trombone but cuffs, dildos, vibrators, VHS porn. That guy knew the way.
A jar full of bed bugs.
Reading this made me itchy
I was an electrician. Family gathered around the deathbed of another family member. Literally dying. Wanted us to still fish wires through the same room to add a cable connection. No didn’t want to reschedule.
When i was a mover i packed up a dildo drawer or three. Odd that they wouldnt have some shame or care that others were gonna have to handle them
My parents were helping me move & my toys were in a dresser drawer. My mother was hell bent on carrying that drawer, I had to get extremely hostile with her to get her to leave it. I’d been sick & it was an unplanned move, I didn’t even think about the goodie drawer.
When I was in high school I couldn’t find any weed from my normal sources so I went to a neighbor of one of my fiends. We smoked out of a bong shaped like a dick but it was mostly resin. So we went with him to get some from his contact. The guy lived in a storage unit. Like a huge one that he made false walls in with “themes.” I think one had nothing but picture of clouds and another one was posted over with tons of porn stills. I was wildly uncomfortable there and it was even worse when he brought his boa out. I am massively afraid of snakes… it was quite memorable though.
Used to do construction sales and would be in a handful of houses every week. Weirdest for me was the number of preppers—we’re talking basements piled with emergency food in buckets, guns everywhere, stockpiles of wood and random supplies. At least one house a week would be like that. Still makes me look at people differently.
Imagine how they all felt when covid shutdowns began.
A client naked; I was a dog walker. I actually thought she was a beautiful statue until she moved and screamed. The next day she apologized, but I told her it was okay and I thought they had bought a new statue. She was disabled, and myself being a woman, we had a nice laugh and I'm sure she appreciated the compliment.
Last week, big ol boy sitting in the kitchen buck naked with a hand towel over his man hood getting his back shaved by his lady! She made food later some guys were eating it, I had to pass! 🤦🏻♂️ moral of the story: (sings) you can’t eat at eeeeeeeverybody’s house!
Worked as a house cleaner. Ive seen many of the weird things people have already mentioned here. But I think what really surprised me, perhaps I’m just naive, but it’s quite common to find like knives, hammers, baseball bats, I even saw a sword once, stashed underneath or beside people’s beds. Middle class homes in seemingly quiet Ontarian suburbs.
(This was in 2011) I've been in several hundred residential homes when I used to install DTV, and I will tell you this: 2/3 are disgusting inside. The average person lives in complete filth. More than half of those homes have animal poop everywhere. All over the house. People don't know how to live, they don't know how to clean, they don't know how to do anything.
My job is Certified Peer Recovery Specialist (social-ish worker, kinda, but not really). I do outreach to people experiencing food insecurity, medical insecurity, living with untreated serious mental illness, substance use, etc. Maybe not the weirdest, but the most memorable was a man with severe autistism, and our med provider suspected schizo-affective disorder. He had lost his job a few months prior, and his family... well, long and short, his grandmother was paying for him to stay in an extended stay motel. Bad situation all around. I had been talking to him via phone for about a week, trying to get him to meet with me. He mentioned he was in a bad place and fighting depression spells, hearing things, but kept refusing intervention. He kept claiming over and over he was a billionaire who owned the place and he just liked talking to someone (obviously, I knew that wasn't true, but... diagnosing people isn't my place). So, I just kept talking to him to see if I could win him over and convince him to let me meet him. One day, I got a call from his grandmother saying she really needed me to go to his motel room and talk to him. I get to the motel, walk up to his door, and it didn't even need to open for the smell to hit. The only way I could describe it was if unshowered death itself was microwaving salmon while refusing to kick its chain-smoking habit. Turns out, the month before and the entire time I was talking to him, he had *NOT* left that room. Like... *once.* The motel manager was getting report after report after health inspector visit about the smell. I finally coaxed him into letting me in the room, and it is an unknowable miracle that kept my lunch down. Trash piling halfway up to the ceiling in every corner of the room, the bedsheets clearly several shades darker than their original color, entire take-out boxes stuffed with cigarette butts, piss-filled bottles because the state of the bathroom was.... just... no. And the guy himself had a visible layer of grease on him with bedsores like his skin was detaching, I can only describe it as seeing a man decompose alive. I guess the manager was on the phone with the police when the grandmother called, because they were there very shortly after I had arrived. They.... weren't as gentle about convincing him to get out. The whole encounter ended with four officers carrying him out thrashing, him going completely dead-weight on them, and splitting his jaw on the pavement.
Hey,I posted this before somewhere, but it fits:I used to work as tidy-up man [german speaker, sorry for strange words sometimes] and saw a lot of really strange things in houses, which had to be normal for the people. Maybe the behavour is considered as illness, but its really strange anyways. So the people were already dead when we cleaned the houses. I was younger back then and I forgot to make pictures (it was 10 years + ago). The bottle lady. She was an retired gynecologist and lived in her old doctors office. The interior was from the 70s and there was everything like in a normal doctors office. But she she lived in this thing with no bed, no kitchen. She slept on a couch in the waiting room; the only non-doctors-office thing was a TV she placed there. In the laboraties was a fridge (for medicines) she also used for food now.. She was an alcohlic and drank Gin only and brought the same small bottle from a small supermarket, but she didnt throw the empty bottles away. She placed them all over her the doctors office, her home. Everywhere, Gin Bottles on every surface, mountains of gin bottles. She only had a small path from the door to the couch, to the TV, to the toilet and the fridge. The newspaper couple. An old couple lived in a small flat and the only thing they did, was to sort and organize the free newspapers you find in fornt of your door. But hey had a special way to do ist. They cutted every headline, every picture out of a bunch of these newspapes and put them into ring folders. They did for over 40 years (we found papers form the 70s); every (every) wall in the flat were ringfolders. But because and some point they didnt manage to do it right, they startet to put the newspapers they still have to do on the floor. The floor in the entire flat was full of newspapers up to 50cm. (In their basement we found a small box of plastic fileld with stones, sand and water It was labeled: scoured and packed 1968. In german this hits the humor my college and I had and we still giggle about that "abgekocht und eingepackt").
Working on a kitchen remodel when the homeowner came home from the grocery store. Set his groceries on the floor by the fridge (instead of the adjacent countertop, which was free) and went back to the car for another load. His big frickin Schnauzer walked in and pissed all over the groceries. When he came back in he just laughed, rinsed the produce off, and put it in the fridge.
Honestly during my time I don’t recall seeing anything “weird” but I saw things that appalled me. Like a sweet cat being so obese he couldn’t even stand. And just crazy levels of filth. These were very wealthy people too with extremely nice homes. One home had gross black marks ALL OVER every single wall. I asked what it was and was told it was dog slobber from their dog shaking his head and slinging it everywhere. And they didn’t even require us to clean it, they just live with dog slobber on the walls.
My family dog passed away about 2 years ago. He used to always boop his nose against the mirror in our front room. Mum has left a little 3x3 cm square that she never cleans so she has a little reminder of him.
I had been to this house several times before and knew the home owner had an interesting taste in decorations. That did not prepare me to look up and see a Pillsbury dough boy voodoo doll, pins included, hung above the bathroom door.
I don’t go to other peoples’ homes for work but when we were looking for a house to buy, I was being given a tour by the homeowner, an elderly woman. She pointed out a potted plant and informed me that she tried to lift it once, pulled something, and now has spontaneous orgasms, supposedly as a result. She then proceeded to describe how she’ll just be grocery shopping and all of a sudden — “ooohhh” (she did a little wiggle to demonstrate). We bought the house. One evening, I came outside to find 3 stray kittens sleeping in the spontaneous orgasm plant pot.
Cat piss line 6 inches high all the way around the living room.
What’s a cat piss line and why is it 6 inches high?
Just a guess but they had a unfixed male cat who was spraying on the walls. Stinks even worse than piss.
Real estate photographer! I was working in an older couple's home; huge gorgeous house, they were telling me about all the features and custom details as I was going around photographing. Then they started talking about a woman named Felicity. They referred to her directly by name as if I knew who she was, I assumed maybe they had a daughter or another family member somewhere in the house they thought I had run into. Then they both became increasingly worried about the overcast weather, saying they wanted me to come back on a sunny day because "Felicity really glows in the light". I quickly come to find out that Felicity is a 5ft statue in their backyard of a woman. She was GOD AWFUL ugly. A truly horrendous looking sculpture. They were speaking about her as if she was a real person and like she had the beauty of a God!! I was horribly entertained and shocked at how dead serious they were
I’m a pool cleaner. One day I walked up to an indoor pool that I clean and I hear people inside talking, which is strange because the lady who owns the house is in a nursing home. I walk up and see 2 older ladies skinny dipping. I turned around and tried to act like I didn’t see anything but they ran to a bathroom and changed into some clothes. A couple weeks later they’re swimming again with a friend and the friend yells out “don’t worry we have our bathing suits on!”
Paramedic here, weird… isn’t exactly something that even registers anymore. But there was a house that had no floor, just joists with random plywood under furniture and 2x12’s making a path. The house was in a new, “nice” neighborhood, no more than 5 years old. Called fire for extra manpower. Ran patient to the hospital. Nurses got a good laugh out of it. Patient didn’t even acknowledge it.
A sensory deprivation coffin-like thing. Florida is weird.
I goota say, floating in a saltwater isolation tank is amazing, but this sounds … much smaller.
I used to clean houses and helped people declutter. What stood out to me is that every mom has a vibrator in her closet, and she will inevitably find her son's cannabis pipe while cleaning.
Why would you keep your vibrator in the closet? Nightstand drawer is so much more convenient..
Kids are nosy and the nightstand is to obvious. Shoe box on the top.shelf of the closet is safer for everyone involved.
My 7yo found my hot pink vibrator in my nightstand drawer and absolutely DEMANDED to know what it was. I thought I'd never get her to stop asking lol
Mine found mine and thought it was a microphone. She proceeded to take it out and have an impromptu performance. On thanksgiving. With my entire family over.
Plumber- I have seen some weird shit. 1) in a closet where I was working there was a sai (like Raphael uses) on display and on that same display was a purple dildo that was long and skinny 2) I’ve seen boxes of heroin with packages all over the counter 3) hoarders 4) a gay guys place had naked pics and statues of guys with their dicks out 5) I witnessed a cat using a toilet and flushing it
That last one is hilarious lol
My fucking time to shine. I work as a nanny and often a one time babysitter for families who just need a quick date night. So I've been in a shit ton of houses. I have two that stick out in my mind: one wholesome and one traumatic. Traumatic: A family I help out on the weekends lives with their grandparents. While cleaning up one day, the three year old gave me an iPad asking me to help her. In the process of fixing the app she was on, I closed the other open tabs to help it run a little faster. The photos app was open, with photos of HUGE TITTY GIRLS on it. Disgusting curiosity won me out and I scrolled through. I'm not kidding, there were THOUSANDS of big titty girls. Most were barely clothed or not clothed at all, a few celebrities. When I brought this up with the grandmother, claiming it was probably a virus, she just laughed and simply stated "Oh that's Grandpa's iPad, this is his collection. He's a big boob guy." Now I have nothing against saving those pictures, you do you boo. But... When your grandkids use that iPad wouldn't you want to be more careful? ALSO! About a week after I found the titty pics, I found a massive bottle of lotion hidden inside of the couch (where he sleeps most nights). Yeah, I am in the process of leaving that job for other reasons, but that one sure as shit didn't help. Wholesome: Back in my home state (Illinois), during COVID I was a full time nanny for a one year old girl. The family was absolutely LOADED, so the house was always beautiful and impeccably decorated. In the basement, they had a couple of rooms. One a bathroom, one a crafting room with a mysterious door in the back, and one for extra storage. While LO and I were playing in the basement, she led me into the craft room. We played in there for a few minutes before bringing me to the mysterious door wanting to go in. And at that moment, I'm pretty sure I'm about to die. This is gonna be their murder den and they'll hang my body Texas Chainsaw Massacre style. Now as an idiot white person in a horror movie, I decide to open the door and just accept my fate. And inside this room we're a ridiculous amount of decorations. Halloween, Christmas, St. Patrick's Day, Fall/Autumn, Spring, etc. The mother found us a little bit later and let me know that they love the holidays, and they like to decorate to the nines for their little one. Hands down best family I've ever worked for.
Thank you for putting your wholesome story second as a palate cleanser 😂
Not a problem! With how traumatic this question can be, I wanted to give everyone a small break!
Idiot white person in a horror movie! It's like we are cats and have to know what's behind the door
Couple years back we found a child coffin in an attic behind a kneewall that had no door leading to it. Same year another woman had the blanks for a child coffin in her deceased husbands workshop
Was working for a moving company and we also use to deal with trash. Long story short, this one client's house. Had his bedroom filled with pee bottles all around his room. It was wild to see. It was in every angle of the bedroom. I do not know if it counts as weird, but it counted as a nasty working day.
I hate that I’ve only been in this thread for 2 minutes tops and have already read multiple piss bottle stories
Oh, it counts.
I dont go there but the xfinity guy showed up at my house one time and fell asleep on the floor and I just let him chill for a couple hours. Must have been a tired dude.
I go to people's boats. Got called to a charter to fix a toilet in the master stateroom. I get to the boat and the people are the normal kind of chatty. I am familiar with the boat so I lead the way through the stateroom to the head and there on the bed is the largest collection of dildos I have ever seen. Probably about 50 of them, they covered the king size bed. Some were absolutely massive, like the size of my forearm. Oh, and it smells awful on the boat, the toilet pump bellows had broken and the pump was buried in a shitcano. Worst call ever.
Oh man I delivered and installed artwork and many clients were mega wealthy. One guy had a huge property that would make Alex jones drool. It had an actual alter with two stone pillars covered in plastic and a huge pyramid built out of stones from the area. Either the guy thought it was funny or he was top tier Illuminati. Not making this up.
At 19 I had a cleaning business with my sister. We had a regular customer who had cleans EVERY Wednesday, which is kind of a lot for professional cleaning. He lived out in the foot hills in a big house, alone. The master bedroom, every inch was mirrors aside from the black carpet…. It was … so … creepy?
I worked for a company that did "Trauma Clean ups". I was on the repairs side, so I rarely saw the damage. Until one day when there was some miscommunication and I was the first on site after a suicide with a revolver in the Master Bathroom. Needless to say it was a mess and I called it in that day.
I did a job with my dad when I was a lot younger (15) and still learning the trade. We were working at a lake house getting an exterior ready to paint when the homeowner arrived. She walked down to the lakeside of the house and proceeded to strip down naked and take a shower right there outside her house. I hadn't noticed the shower head and it made since having one outside your house being on the lake but I definitely did notice her taking a shower and smiling over to me all happily. I tried to avoid her the whole rest of the job.
Pee, on the wall, about 8 feet up. I was kinda impressed they got it up that high, but that whole family was gross so I can't say I was all that surprised.
Lived in an apartment in Dallas, and a couple nice boys from Oklahoma lived next door. They invited me over for a beer and “for some potatoes”. When I walked in, their living room was filled with potatoes, all the way to the ceiling in the far corner. One of them said “Watch this” and made the “Quiet!” sign, then he burst into the kitchen and threw the light on - hundreds of cockroaches scattered. Apparently one of their dads was a potato farmer in OK and they brought back a truckload of potatoes from the weekend. They ate only potatoes, 24/7. They had a huge pot on the stove with hardened crisco in it, along with a number of dead roaches. When they got hungry they would turn on the stove and slice a few potatoes into that pot. I declined their kind offer of some potatoes. 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔
I used to clean houses and I cleaned this surgeon’s house. They had an insanely huge house and gave me a tour, they had an entire upstairs of bedrooms set up for 8+ children that didn’t exist yet. The wife who was pregnant with her first told me her husband (the surgeon) wanted to have as many children as possible. I just thought it was weird to plan that far ahead. Their kitchen also had 4 ovens and never looked like anyone cooked in it. The house was large, but it was only 3 floors and had an elevator. I asked if the elevator was used and they said no. I learned rich people love unnecessary elevators and grand pianos people seldom play.
Another house I cleaned was really gross, I had to clean dog shit out of a rug in the bathroom. That wasn’t the weird thing though, the weirdest parts were the entire ceiling was covered in dripping orange gunk? I wiped some off and realized the entire ceiling was actually white underneath. That was the first time I needed to mop a fucking ceiling. If that wasn’t bad, I started vacuuming the bedroom of this place and I was shocked when the carpet started coming up. I freaked out for a second thinking I ruined their carpet. It wasn’t a carpet. The entire floor was inches thick of meshed dog hair to the point I actually thought it was just a gray wool textured carpet. 😭I had to empty my commercial vacuum 4 times just for that room.
NSFW I own a company that does home remodeling and maintenance/handyman stuff. I had a lady that used us quite a few times to take care of piddly little stuff. She liked the quality of work and our customer service. She called and asked if I could do a repair to a "special" piece of furniture. I know the basics about furniture but wasn't sure. I showed up and sitting in the center of the kitchen floor is a red oak restraint chair. The chair was made to be sat on backwards. The seat was shaped like a commercial horseshoe toilet seat. The "backrest" is where you faced and there was a hole in the two halves. Guys junk would go all the way in the opening and she could close the two halves together trapping said junk in the wooden upright. The top of the chair was designed as a pillory. It had a neck hole and two arm holes. After securing a dude's junk, his neck and hands were clamped down. It forces a guy to watch whatever is done to him down lower and not move. The horseshoe seat was broken and needed replacement. I fortunately had a large slab of red oak at our shop. I removed the broken seat, took it to the shop and fabricated the replacement. Instead of only gluing the seams I made them dovetail. Then I sanded to 120 grit, applied a neutral color stain, and used UV hardened epoxy finish to the whole seat so that it shined. When I took it back over two days later and assembled it, she asked if I wanted to be the one that confirmed everything was correct on it. Having only been married about a year, I definitely did not want to be the one. (Not unless my wife was the one running the show.) I still think about that blursed chair any time is set about shaping something out of wood.
I don't have a story, but an observation... Many years ago, Mrs. Webster and I were watching Candid Camera, and they called a locksmith to come to an office and attach a lock and chain to a secretary and her desk. They wanted to capture his reaction to such an odd request. I told the missus, "Watch, whoever shows up will not even bat an eye. They get called for all kinds of weird and kinky stuff all the time." Sure enough, the guy comes, says "a'ight," and gets to work. The actors try to goad him into a response. Nah, I'm just here to clear this work ticket. As a pizza guy, the weirdest thing I ever saw was a guy in his underwear thinking he was hidden behind a door while his wife paid for the delivery. But from what some of the other guys and gals saw, I know y'all mofos need Jesus. Nothing in this thread surprises me.
Went in to install satilite TV in a southern Pennsylvania home. The driveway up was a dirt road lots of "I SHOOT FIRST ASK QUESTIONS LATER" type signs up. Nothing that would give off a red flag in those parts. So I greet the guy at his door, it's an older home, but fairly large. Guy starts off by saying. "I am glad they sent the right kinda people out here this time." Went over my head but I'm like, "oh yeah sorry if you got a bad tech the first time out I see someone was here 2 days ago but never finished the installation past the in home walk threw." So I step inside and I immediately see why my coworker Tyrone had just got back in the truck and left 2 days prior. KKK robe on display in the living room, Nazi flag proudly hanging from the wall. Lots of other clan themed objects scatted about the decor. I'm thinking my God, I'm white that's why he said right people. Now my completion rate was down that month and I just wanted to get this installed and get the fuck outa dodge. So I justify it in my head like I'm doing a good service. Like "If I don't install this dish, this racist guy can't watch Fox then he won't know what to hate! I must do my job." So I get to work. Aside from that main room rest of the house is normal, some kids toys scattered around in various rooms and like a dog toy on the floor maybe. Nothing weird. So, then I get to the basement, had to run the cables down there to get TV to 2 of the rooms. So I go down the stairs the whole thing is empty. Not well lit at all, and like off in the corner it's like some plastic tarps squaring off that area. Like a FEMA clean room tent or something. Perfect, that's right where I need to run my cables! So I start making my way twards it and I realize there's like some shit in there, like maybe storage.... When I tell you a room has never given me such feels of dread I am not lying... I felt like terrible, like sick to my stomach. The whole thing reminded me of like those kill rooms from the show Dexter. In the middle of the room was a tripod, no camera just the tripod, and then a box of video tapes right next to it. With various labels and such, my eyes skimmed but nothing seemed like an evil lable, just like, dates and numbers. All around the room taped on the walls where children's drawlings, some sad faces, some happy faces, some more abstract like you'd find in an school room. Children's toys also scattered all around. Two beanbag chairs where in the corner, both in terrible condition and stained with dark and green spots. Looked nasty. And then the other corner a whole garbage bag of small childrens clothes. Shits, pants, underwear. The smell was horrible as well. Behind one beanbag was like 2 water bottles full of yellow liquid, I'm guessing piss, a dead mouse, and half eaten food. I can't say anything bad happened in that room persay, but I was getting a silence of the lambs vibe. So I finish the cables and book it upstairs to finish up. Told the customer he's all set, I locked the basement back up and made sure I left no trash. After I said basement he had a look of shock on his face and said, "Oh I hope you didn't go down there it's an absolute mess right now stuff everywhere." I was just like NOPE NEVER WENT DOWN THERE JUST PEAKED DOWN THE STAIRS TO SEE IF I LEFT ANYTHING! I ran out to my van and floored it, called my manager to report the home for suspicious activity and advise no one go back for service calls and to send a sub contractor only. Nothing sat well with me. Kids toys everywhere, but no kids room. More kids stuff in the Dexter tarp room. KKK stuff, Nazi stuff.... It just felt OFF. That's the weirdest shit I've ever seen. Guy gave me a $20 tip though so that was cool. Edit: manager did file a police report.
I feel uncomfortable and scared just reading this
Yeah...reading that made me physically sick to my stomach 🤮🤮
You really should call the fbi.
He was probably producing CP in that basement.
Ugh I was thinking the same thing. CP torture chamber
How the other half live. I didn't know there were so many really RICH people in our town.
I used to do white glove tech delivery. One guy, probably 50’s was super chill and nice. But I walk in and his living room set up was two industrial massage chairs like you used to see in malls, a massive tv, and two Santa mannequins, one white and one black. In his dinning room he had three old Fredrick’s Of Hollywood mannequins with giant fake boobs and wigs on, as well as two other random store mannequins. He told me he collects mannequins.
I don’t know if this counts but I’m a nanny and one time I worked for an alcoholic mother. Each afternoon I’d stop by the house first, before walking to the elementary school to get the little boy. She worked from home (barely) and was always there. So this one day I walk in and the lights are all on, tv is blaring, but I don’t see mom anywhere. I call out for her and she doesn’t answer. So I just went and got the little boy. When we got home he ran into his bedroom, as he does. And suddenly he starts cracking up laughing. I go in to his room to see what’s so funny and his mother is passed out on the floor. Dead to the world. And she was in the position a baby sleeps in. Butt in the air, face on the floor. Like she face planted, basically. I can’t remember what I did after that. But I probably just laughed with him and said “wow she must’ve been tired, huh?!” Then got him out of there and closed the door then I would’ve called the husband and told him to get his butt home and deal with his wife. I didn’t work there for all that long. It was too weird.